Making the Most of High School: Success Secrets for Freshmen

1 There’s a big world out there. Bigger than prom, bigger than high school, and it won’t matter if you were the prom queen or the quarterback of the football team or the biggest nerd. Find out who you are and try not to be afraid of it.

—from the movie Never Been Kissed

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where you are right now

what does all this mean?

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t’s not easy being a teenager. Sure, you’ve got more freedom now, but you’ve also got more to deal with. Am I going to fit in? Will I get a good score on my SAT? Can I make the team? Will I get into a good college? Should I take a part-time job? Why am I so self-conscious?

Why do I fight so much with my parents?

These may be a few of the questions that stalk you. With so many

issues to face, it can be challenging to get the most out of high school.

Maybe school doesn’t even seem relevant to you right now. So how can you have a sense of direction for your life, and how can you make sense of high school, when you’re going through so many changes? I hope this book will help.

THE PRESSURES YOU FACE

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High school is not for wimps. There’s a lot expected of you, from making the grade to keeping cool around your crush. As one teen said, “How can I enjoy life when it’s so stressful?” Maybe you can relate. You might feel more pressure to compete with other students in sports and in academics than you ever did in middle school. And your problems might feel more intense now.

As I interviewed scores of students and former students for this book, and as I thought about my own experience in high school, I began to see that there are two universal truths about being a teenager that make just as much sense today as they did a hundred years ago:

You can take charge of your life!

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Everybody is unique, different and special.

Nobody has it easy.

Teenagers face all kinds of different challenges, from everyday decisions to choices that could change the course of a life.

Lee Pomeroy, a journalist who grew up in Ohio, remembers the awkwardness of stepping into an unfamiliar environment. “Very early in high school, I had the opportunity to be an exchange student in Sweden. I was frightened at first because I was shy, and I didn’t think the family I was assigned to live with would like me. There were language barriers, and at the outset I was very lonely. Eventually I became close to the family and learned a lot from my experiences. The most important thing I realized was that Ohio was not the cultural norm for the entire world.”

David Rowe, now an art historian, had to wait until college before he learned things about himself that had given him trouble in high school. “The high school I attended had an excellent reputation and brought in high-achieving students from all over the area.

Unfortunately, I was never more than an average student. No matter how hard I tried, the best I could do was swing Bs and Cs. This was very difficult for me as a middle-class African-American male because there was pressure to do well and prove myself. There was a great deal of competition. None of the academic subjects I studied to pursue the “in” professions (medicine, law, business) interested me, and I ended up doing just the bare minimum to get through. In college I was tested, and it turned out that I have a learning disability. Discovering that I learn best by association and visual stimulation helped me find art history—a subject I love.”

Christy Wells, a high school student in Tucson, Arizona, had to deal with the question of parenthood. “Just over a year ago, I had to make the most important decision of my life—the decision between abortion, adoption, and keeping the young life that was growing inside me. I was only 16 when I found out I was pregnant, a sophomore in high school. My whole future lay ahead of me. I was scared and didn’t know what to do. Finally I came to the decision (with the father’s help) to keep the child. This meant a whole new life for the father and me.

Now I am 18, and my daughter is one and a

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half. I am in my senior year, preparing to graduate. I go to four classes a day and work for the County Recorders the rest of the day.”

Everyone has a story to tell. No matter how together they seem, most people have had to deal with tough circumstances at some point or other, and chances are that some of their most challenging times came during their teen years. Why? Because as a teenager you are in one of the greatest transition periods of your life. You were a child for 12 years. Your challenge now is to develop into an adult—a physically, emotionally, and intellectually mature person who must make decisions about jobs, college, and even marriage and family. You have many years ahead to be an adult, and only a very short time to make the transition. So it is important now to take the time to discover things about your self and where you fit in, as this discovery will help shape who you will become.

How This Book Can Help

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his book is designed to help you make the most of high school and of yourself. By reading it, you’ll discover how to enjoy your life more and how to enjoy greater success. Below are some of the major topics you can expect to be covered: Health. You

may have a lot of questions about your body and your feelings: Is it normal to have wild mood swings? How can I tell if I have an eating disorder? Will I regret getting a tattoo? In Chapter 6, we’ll share important health facts about your body and your mind that everyone should know.

Identity crisis. “Who am I?” This may sound like a no-brainer ques-

tion, but the idea here runs deep. Many people, not just teens, admit

for healthy habits Eat breakfast every day. Research shows that people who eat breakfast take in more vitamins and minerals, and less fat and cholesterol; and are therefore less likely to be obese or suffer from diabetes. The American Dietetic Association reports that breakfast enhances alertness, attention and performance on standardized achievement tests. If you don’t have time for breakfast at home in the morning, take it with you. You can eat it on the way to school or in between first and second period.

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that they have a hard time figuring out what their interests are and what they’re good at doing. Knowing what motivates you to succeed and what makes you feel good about yourself isn’t always easy. In Chapter 2, we’ll help you sort through the big question of who you are.

Relationships. Another

issue that adds to the pressure in high school is relationships. The whole boy-meets-girl scene keeps the teen years exciting—and unnerving. You get butterflies in your stomach every time you’re around your crush; what’s up with that? Chapter 3 gives you tips on dating and relating. (If you want to turn there now, go right ahead.) And, if you have little or no interest in the opposite sex, that’s fine, too. I didn’t have a real boyfriend until college. Also in Chapter 3, we’ll talk about how to spot a true friend, as well as how to resolve conflict so everybody wins.

Parents. During the teen years, the relationship you have with your parents may take a turn for the worse. You’re becoming an adult, and this changes the family dynamic. You may argue with them more, or feel like they don’t understand where you’re coming from. Although these changes are perfectly normal, they’re also upsetting. Learning how to be on good terms with your parents is an important part of growing up.

In Chapter 3, we’ll talk about how to reach a fair compromise.

Finances. In high school, you will likely come across new experiences regarding money. Perhaps you’ll get a part-time job, a student credit card or need to budget money for an upcoming school trip.

Chapter 7 is all about managing financial impulses and helping you take control over the money in your life.

for financial fitness “Know What You Don’t Know” How much do you know about bud-

geting and managing money? According to a recent survey by the Jump$tart Coalition, high school students answered a mere 48 percent of questions correctly when asked about basic financial concepts. Furthermore, college seniors who took the same test fared only slightly better, scoring a 65 percent. With the rising amount of credit card debt, identity theft, and economic worries America is facing, why is it important that high school and college graduates have a developed sense of financial literacy?

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Making the grade. Grades

matter more in high school than they did in middle school because they are permanently recorded on your transcripts. This means that when you get ready to apply for college, the administrators there will review the grades you make now. Your grades then directly affect whether or not you will be accepted into college. And even if you’re not sure you want to go to college, a potential employer is likely to look at your grades to see if you’re a good fit for the job. In Chapter 4, I’ll share my ultimate learning secrets, including ways to rev up your memory so that you really absorb what you’re studying.

Chapter 4 will also stress the importance of athletics and extracurricular activities during high school, including how to connect with your coach. I’ll discuss the value of role models and mentors.

High school can be stressful, but there are many people to help you along the way.

The juggling act. In

high school, you may feel pressured to get more done in less time. You’re expected to juggle several things at once: participate in athletics or an after-school club, keep up with homework assignments, put in more time studying for tests, and still make it to your part-time job on time. For these reasons, time management will become a bigger issue in high school than in middle school. In Chapter 5, you’ll learn how to balance your priorities, budget your time, and keep your sanity.

Fears. What

do you think holds people back from getting the most out of themselves and out of high school? Many survey polls indicate that it’s fear. Two out of every three teens say that fear of failure (in school, with friends, on dates, you name it) is the main reason they don’t try new things or have the motivation to succeed (www.USA. Weekend.com 1999 teen survey: “What do you fear?”). Chapter 5 also talks about how to overcome your fears and how to stay motivated for the long haul.

Deciding about college. A big pressure for many students is preparing for college. All the paperwork and deadlines make the application process tedious. You may also worry about your ACT and SAT scores and how to know which college is right for you. Chapter 8 will simplify the college application process and help you figure out whether going to college is the best decision for you.

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for employability Flexibility/adaptability. When you successfully set priorities to manage multiple assignments and tasks you are considered a flexible worker.

Possessing this skill, along with the ability to adapt to changes in work conditions or assignments, increases your marketability in the world of work and will help you propel you up the career ladder of your choice.

Getting a job. Chapter

9 is loaded with ideas about jobs for teens, as well as how to look for a full-time position after high school if you decide not to go to college right away. You’ll learn how to write a resume, how to prepare for an interview, and what to expect from a performance review. You’ll also learn about how to do your best on the job so that you receive pay increases.

The future. You may be excited, and also a little scared, about being on your own. Living in an apartment or starting a full-time job sounds cool, but are you really ready for it? Chapter 10 will help calm your fears by revealing what you can expect. I’ll share information and experiences from young people who have already entered the adult world.

Coaching questions. Each

chapter includes powerful questions that you can use to coach yourself. These insightful questions are designed to inspire you to take a deeper look inside for your own answers. Learning to ask challenging questions about your situation and experiences can help you become a deeper thinker so that you get started on the right foot and make better life decisions. When you master asking these questions, you can help impact the lives of others by coaching them along their own paths.

Factors in Your World

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y own growing-up process revealed to me three forces that influence the teen experience: environment, hormones, and self-absorption. I had very powerful experiences with each of these, and have come to see how they helped create who I am today.

If you understand these forces in your life, you can learn how to find their positive sides, and eventually you might be able to use them to your benefit.

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Tough Environments

When I first started high school, I felt awkward, self-conscious, and full of anxiety about what lay ahead. I was raised in a house with four older brothers. Each of them was accomplished and talented in some way that made me, as I compared myself to them, feel quite unaccomplished. What made matters worse was that my brothers were highly critical of me (maybe my parents had been harsh to them). They were always pointing out to me how clueless I was about things and pushing me to do what they thought I should. My usual reaction was to pull away, to give up, and to quit before I even tried. As I saw it, my family was hard on me, and it made me an uninterested, disconnected teenager who didn’t know where I belonged. Now, I appreciate the way they challenged me to be my best.

Perhaps you are from some sort of tough environment yourself— remember that “tough” means something different to everyone. Maybe your parents are divorced. Maybe you are being raised by a single parent who has to work so hard to support you financially that there isn’t a lot of emotional support coming your way. Maybe your parents show their love for you with material objects or discipline rather than time spent together. Perhaps you have been abused in some way— physically or emotionally—and it affects how you feel about yourself.

Perhaps you’ve been raised by parents abusing drugs or alcohol, or parents with a disability.

On the other side of the coin, perhaps you’ve been raised in a supportive, yet unchallenging environment. Perhaps your parents have

for technology Technology is constantly evolving. Twenty years ago very few

people owned big clunky predecessors of today’s cell phones. Now the iPhone and the Blackberry, along with the many applications designed for them, are commonplace. Most likely you even have a cell phone in case your parents need to get ahold of you. In order to stay current in school and compete in the job market, you will need to be prepared to adjust to changes in technology. Many of today’s technologies are industry specific. Once you find out what career field you’re interested in, research the software typically used. It’s a good idea to become familiar with these technologies and the terms associated with them to give you the edge while learning and job searching.

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never really pushed you or never encouraged you to encounter and conquer difficulties. Regardless of where you come from, know that these experiences can influence how you handle your high school years.

Keep two things in mind about the condition of your environment.

First, almost everybody has to cope with tough family situations in some shape or form. You are not alone! In fact, I don’t know anybody who hasn’t had some set of family problems affect them as a teenager.

Second, no matter how trapped you may feel at the moment, you have the power to overcome your circumstances so that they don’t hold you back and prevent you from achieving your dreams. Sometimes it takes a long time to harness this power.

Coaching can help. Coaching

is a tool to help you understand your gifts, talents and abilities. I will coach you by asking you questions and giving you opportunities throughout this book to reflect and discover your goals, your values and your options. Think of me as a mentor, an athletic coach, or favorite teacher. Over time, you will learn to ask yourself these important questions, as well as to ask powerful questions of your friends to help them solve problems and make better decisions.

Almost all of us, if we are honest with ourselves, can name some circumstance or event from our lives that could be a potentially disabling factor if not handled properly. That’s the difficult part of life.

But learning how to deal with such challenges will give you the experiences to learn a great deal about yourself. And these experiences will in turn help you develop your talents in the years to come.

Those Crazy Hormones

There’s no escaping the fact that high school can be crazy. Dealing with surging hormones and a changing body can be stressful. Know that hormones not only affect the natural maturation process of your body, but they can also wreak havoc on your emotional equilibrium, influencing your mood and affecting your feelings.

If you used to be calm, cool, and collected and now you feel like a basket case, don’t worry—eventually you’ll regain your balance. Most teens experience the effects of hormones and puberty for about two or three years. And

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these changes can take place anywhere from late elementary school through high school. If you’re in the midst of puberty, it helps to know you’re not going crazy. There are good reasons why you feel “weird.” Blame it on hormones.

Self-Absorption

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How can you stand outside of yourself and observe my emotions?

How can you avoid overdosing on sugar and carbohydrates which might cause you to feel more emotional?

Most of what I’ve discussed involves focusing on you. That’s okay, because in How can you approach others with order to learn about something as myscompassion rather than engaging terious and complex as yourself, you them in conflict? need to spend a lot of time and energy focusing inward. But know that too much self focus can make it harder to be sensitive to the needs of the people around you. Many teenagers have to work extra hard to maintain some focus outside their selves; some succeed, and some don’t.

Since this time in your life is so emotionally charged, you might end up being harsh not only on yourself, but with others as well.

Emotions can run so high that it can be hard to contain them; and when they are let loose, nasty things can happen.

During my senior year of high school, my brother Craig helped me begin to focus on the world outside of myself. On a holiday break from his college, he cornered me and started to ask me a lot of questions about what I wanted to do with my life, what interested me, what I thought about all day. I said “I don’t know” to just about every question which frustrated him. He said if I approached work or college in the same uninterested way that I approached high school, I would be spending the rest of my life flipping burgers. He told me to quit making excuses, decide what I wanted out of life, and begin planning how to achieve it, or I would waste my talents and my brain.

Well, the ball was in my court, but I didn’t like it. I wanted to be on the sidelines. What I realized later was that much of my anger came from being scared that he was right. I did want to be “somebody” and make a difference, I realized, but I wasn’t sure how, because I had never really tried.

Although I wouldn’t speak to Craig at the time, I started acting on what he had said. I went to the library and checked out books that I had heard were “classics,” ones that I hadn’t been assigned in class.

I made an effort to work harder in school and improved my grades

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in my last semester. I started reading newspapers and tried to include Time magazine with my Vogue and Mademoiselle. Slowly I discovered that there were many things I enjoyed about learning—I liked knowing about things, I liked being able to discuss them with other people and feel as if I could hold my own, and I actually liked feeling more on top of my work at school.

When do you tend to become self My brother and I didn’t remain angry absorbed? at each other for long. To this day I have How can you turn your focus outcontinually turned to him for help and adward to think about others? vice. He let me know that I mattered and that I had unique talents to offer the world, Who might benefit from your special even if I didn’t know what they were yet. interest?

He also let me know that he believed in me, and that kind of support still helps me keep going in those times when I doubt myself. Everyone can benefit from someone like Craig—someone who takes a special interest.

Living with High School

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ou’re dealing with a lot right now. High school catapults you into a new world both academically and socially, and both areas offer you new opportunities, as well as challenges that might get on your nerves. You may also have more responsibilities than you did in the past—and have more fears about the future.

Academic Issues

Feeling pressure to do well in your classes, to deal with homework, and to figure out how to get along with your teachers (especially the ones you actively dislike) are challenges that will come up from time to time. Even getting adjusted to the high school environment takes some doing. I was overwhelmed by my first taste of it. One of the reasons getting adjusted was so hard for me was that I came from a small private school. In eighth grade, there were only 12 students in my class. My public high school, by contrast, had more than 2,000 students—640 in the freshman class alone. I felt lost at first, like a kid at Disney World who couldn’t find her parents. It was intimidating and frightening.

You might feel that high school is boring or a waste of your time.

You may not be quite sure why you have to go through all the classes,

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why you should care about the activities, why you should take time to get to know teachers and people outside your normal circle of friends.

It can be hard to see how it will all serve you later. David Kobin made such a discovery on the day of his graduation from Stuyvesant High School in New York City. “I was in my cap and gown, thinking only of the rest and relaxation coming my way in the summer before college. The program began with the usual speeches about what an important day it was and how we were taking a huge step on the path to our futures. The words went in one ear and out the other. All I cared about was getting into a cool restaurant for some lunch.

“But then came the awards ceremony. It seemed as though every student but me had done something great. There were National Merit Scholars, a Westinghouse finalist, and every other prestigious recognition possible—but there were none for me, and it hurt. I suddenly felt that I had wasted four years of my life, years full of potential, with chance after chance to go beyond what was minimally required.

“At the close of the graduation ceremony, I was left with nothing but guilt and shame. I had failed myself and all those who ever had any faith in me. I decided then and there that college would be different. I am proud to say that so far I have stuck to the plan. When there’s a conference or an ad for a club that interests me, I go; when I get an assignment, I put every bit of effort I can muster into it and more. A What are your resources that will year ago, I would have laughed at what help you do more than just the I’m saying. But now I am proud of what minimum?

I’m doing. The funny thing is—I love ev Which days of the week can you ery minute of it. Every assignment is a work with a tutor for your most welcomed challenge, and every pressure challenging classes? a welcomed hurdle on my path to success. Sometimes I stumble, but every day What opportunities exist that you brings me closer to the finish line.” might regret not exploring?

Social Issues

High school is a whirlwind of experiences that have different effects on different people. Some people adjust to the new environment by throwing themselves into all kinds of activities. Some withdraw, keeping to themselves and focusing on what they are comfortable with—their studies or a certain subject or hobby. Many students see high school as more of a social opportunity than anything else. Your

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high school experience might have a stronger focus on friends and social activities than any of your previous schools, partly because you forge stronger bonds of friendship as you become more independent and begin to break away from the shelter of your family; and partly because the biological changes you are experiencing may draw you into relationships more complex than you have ever experienced.

This strong focus on friends and social groups can create both great fun and painful rejection. Angela Dorn, a corporate attorney, had some tough times with the social scene at the Rosati-Kain School in St. Louis, Missouri. “I had a lot of fear socially, because I felt like a geek. To top it off, I moved to a different city in the middle of high school, which made it very difficult to meet people. It was pretty awful, actually. I didn’t make friends right away because there were cliques already established. I hung out with other girls who felt like outsiders as well because their situations were similar to mine.”

It can be intimidating when groups of students travel in packs and maintain allegiances to one another, excluding you and others. Unfortunately it happens all the time, as Angela experienced.

Somehow everyone else’s view of you seems to be the most important thing going. “I wish I had known not to be so concerned with what others thought of me and more concerned with what I think of myself,” says Eileen Cook, an independent consultant who went to high school in Traverse City, Michigan. “My entire high school life was spent mimicking what I thought others wanted from me; how they thought I should dress, speak, and so on. One student stands out in my mind when I think of that environment—his name was Dennis, and he had a learning disability. He wore the wrong things, he was shy, and he wasn’t good-looking. He was the butt of jokes from the whole school. I never personally made fun of him, but I also couldn’t be bothered to return his smiles or his attempts to reach out by saying hi.

“When I look back, I realize he was one of the more noble spirits I have ever known. He always offered to help—he cleaned up after the band and ran stage crew for the plays. He was nice to everyone, even the people who were nasty to him. He died in an accident, and everybody had one brief flash of guilt and then forgot him. Later I realized that it takes far more courage to

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be your own person and to be kind in a hostile world, as he did, than to follow the accepted path.” Breaking away from the social bondage of high school involves being yourself no matter what other people think you should do—it’s something not too many people can do, but it’s worth trying.

Responsibility

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Who are the people who support your dreams and goals?

Who are the people who thwart your dreams and goals?

Who are models of positive behavior in your life?

High school gives you a chance to take on more responsibilities as you move into adulthood. Responsibility comes with the knowledge you are building—the more you know, the more you can take charge, and in turn, more will then be expected of you.

Right now you are developing your sense of the world. You can already take care of most of your daily needs and activities. You are learning how to get around on your own, whether you drive or take buses or trains. You may know how to care for younger children. You can often do your homework without help. You draw on a huge amount of knowledge every day that you may not even think about.

Now that your age and knowledge have brought you greater responsibility, you may have different reactions to it. Sometimes you want more of it. “Something that’s hard about being in high school is that we’re not kids anymore, but still our parents are on us about our work and grades, and they don’t let us do certain things,” says one student. “We want freedom and respect.” Other times, added responsibility can be a burden. But however you feel about it, responsibility is more than just an obligation. It is a golden opportunity to learn something new about your self.

Some responsibilities come from teachers or parents when they decide that you’re ready, and others come when your intuition tells you it’s time to take a step on your own. Either way, it’s up to you to make the choice to accept the responsibility and carry it out. Garth Kravits, an actor and singer in New York City, was given an important responsibility by one of his teachers at Magruder High School in Rockville, Maryland. “There weren’t too many classes I was into in high school; the only thing that really made me happy was acting. My drama teacher asked me to teach a beginning acting class my senior

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year. He gave me the chance to take on responsibility for more than just myself, and I discovered that I really loved to teach other people what I knew and to inspire them to be creative.”

Rebecca Lemberger, a student at Syracuse University, New York, earned the responsibility of being the editor in chief of her high school yearbook. “It was an immense honor. I had special privileges—an office, a permanent hall pass, and an excuse to get out of class. With all the excitement, I failed to realize that I had my work cut out for me!

My assignment was to choose photographs and plan all 336 pages. I had to organize my time, distribute assignments, orchestrate events, and time everything perfectly so as not to miss a deadline. I learned how to deal with others; how to compromise and manage costs with my advisor, who limited my budget; how to understand and What is the most responsible thing encourage others, and most of all, how you’ve ever done? to acknowledge my own faults. I was a What is the least responsible thing leader to whom people looked for advice you’ve ever done? What were the and approval. Sometimes this bothered consequences? me, and I wished I could have someone else make the difficult decisions. But in What new responsibilities are you time I realized that the things I learned eager to assume? would stay with me for my entire life.”

Fears

Every student, at one time or another, experiences fear as part of his or her high school experience—usually fear of failing or fear of what is going to happen in the future. For Cynthia Nordberg, now the associate director of an inner-city youth ministry in Chicago, fear of the future temporarily prevented her from moving ahead in her life.

“Throughout high school I planned to attend college, but when graduation came, I couldn’t do it. I had no idea why, but college seemed like a place for people much smarter than I was, and I was convinced I couldn’t handle it. I had received good grades in school, had good friends, and a family that supported me, and still my fear of failing held me back from furthering my education.”

No matter what your background, you probably have some apprehension about where you are going. Fear of the future can be about what you’ll do after high school or even while you’re still in high school—what activities you’ll participate in this year, what classes

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& Looking Back and Looking Ahead

Looking back at her first couple of weeks of high school, Katie remembers an overwhelming sense of fear. The pressure to make a good first impression, to fit in, to join activities, and to make new friends loomed over her entire class. Katie combated her fear by stepping out of her comfort zone and making connections with teachers and faculty.

Pushing herself to take a risk, Katie tried out for the track team with no previous experience, made it, and developed a passion for running. During this time she became close with her teammates, which led to friendships with other athletes at school, and then to student government opportunities—all in her freshman year.

Being a positive risk-taker helped

Katie to discover her interests and talents, while teaching her the value of approaching every opportunity as a learning experience.

Katie’s ability to make connections, and ultimately become outgoing helped her to develop an optimistic attitude that continued through high school and is still with her today. Due to her extensive involvement in extracurricular activities and her good grades, Katie earned a full-ride Daniel’s Fund scholarship to college.

Now as a senior in college, Katie is majoring in business and looks forward to a career in sales.

She is passionate about making a difference and she looks forward to graduating from college and beginning her professional life.

Katie Li, Grand Junction, CO

you’ll be required to take next year, whether or not you’ll be accepted by an important group of friends this fall, or if your grades will improve. Fear of failing can affect your attitude toward classes, making an athletic team, asking someone out on a date, taking the PSAT or SAT or other tests, or achieving success in your extracurricular pursuits.

As scary as it is, fear of failure can be a positive force in your life— it can help push you to prepare adequately for the challenge. “The worst day of my life was the Monday after Thanksgiving when the varsity basketball team roster was posted at noon in the gym,” says Dale Ellis, now a college student at Syracuse University in New York.

“I was a returning member to the team, so I wasn’t too worried. But

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I hadn’t worked on my skills during the off-season because I chose to focus on my job and football. I figured I would at least make the team at tryouts, and then work my way into the starting lineup. I remember thinking that no returning member ever gets cut from the team!

“After lunch, my friends and I went to the gym to look at the list.

I looked up and down about 10 times but could not find my name.

My worst nightmare had come true. I talked to my coach, and he said that he did not think I improved enough to help this year’s team. I thought he was full of it, and felt I could still beat half the team in my sleep, but in the next few painful weeks I learned a lot from this experience. It taught me never to take something for granted, no matter how sure I might be about a situation. I also learned that if you want something, you cannot slack off. You have to work constantly toward making it a reality. Any half-assed preparation just will not do.”

Some people have to face fear on a more intense level. To Joseph Smith, a junior at Senne High School, fear is a familiar emotion.

“Once when I was coming out of my house, I saw a dude that looked about 17 years old running down the sidewalk. Another guy was running after him and shot him four times. I walked over there because I wondered if he was someone I knew. He wasn’t, but seeing him bleeding bothered me a lot. I was afraid to go out of my house for several days after that. I think he was shot because of drugs—drugs are everywhere here. On my block there’s someone on every corner selling them, out in the open daylight. I have no idea how they get away with it.

Fast money lures kids into selling—you make minimum wage at McDonald’s, but you can stand around all day sell What are your greatest fears? ing drugs and make a couple hundred.

Who can help you deal with your “There are gang fights at my school fears? sometimes, and the security guards usually break them up. Commuting to How can you help others deal with school is the most intense part of my their fears? day. I travel an hour and a half on the [subway], and sometimes fights break out on the train. I feel nervous knowing that at any moment something can happen. I have done some bad things, like hang out with the wrong people late at night, but I never wanted to sell drugs because I was afraid I would be killed. . . . Sometimes when I want to do bad [things], something inside me tells me no, not to do it. I didn’t used to hear that voice.”

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What Are the Advantages of High School?

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tudies show that the more education you have, the chances of you earning more money over the course of your lifetime improve dramatically. From the chart below, you can see that the earning potential, on average, is double for students receiving a Bachelors degree compared to those receiving only a high school diploma.

And yet, many students in high school ask themselves, “What can I learn from taking this class?” “Why am I here?” “How can this do anything for me?” I wondered these things myself. We all know the standard answers: It’s important to be well educated, associate with others, join in activities, and take responsibility for our lives. Even if you’ve heard all that before, you may still feel that you are in high school because it’s expected. I know that I felt I was in school because it was what I was supposed to do. I felt like just another sheep being herded along. I was there because I had to be.

Coping with the high school system requires a lot of ingenuity, but you can find your way through it all. Success doesn’t mean having the perfect experience—no one does. Success involves capitalizing on the good opportunities, bypassing the dead spots, and turning around the problematic situations. Therefore, your chal-

Average lifetime earnings by education

High school diploma

$1.2

Bachelors degree

$2.1

Masters degree

$2.5

Doctoral degree

$3.4

Professional degree

$4.4

degrees

0

Lifetime Earnings in Millions of Dollars

1

2

3

4

Source: Burleson Consulting “Increased earning income from bachelors, masters and doctoral (PhD) degrees” http://www.dba-oracle.com/t_increased_earnings_income_bachelors_masters_doctorate.htm

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On a scale of 1-10 (1 = lowest, 10 = highest), how committed are you to high school?

What opportunities would a high school and a college degree provide for you?

What will poor performance in high school cost you in terms of going to college and your career options?

lenge is to discover what you can value about high school and not to give up when you come up against roadblocks.

As you read this book, you will learn about how to cope with problem situations such as a troublesome relationship with a teacher, a boring class, irritating groups of friends, or a subject you dislike. Society’s system has put you in high school. Don’t let yourself be dragged through—make the system serve you. Decide what high school means to you and make the most of it.

What Do You Have to Offer?

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t a basic level, the most important thing you have to offer in your high school experience is your presence! Just being there is the first step to opening yourself up to what you can learn, even though it’s not always easy or exciting. Learning to keep working at the things that don’t come easily will take you a long way toward success. Sandra McCullough, a high school student in New York City, had to draw on some special resources to refocus when she lost interest. “I dropped out of high school. I just didn’t feel like going at the time. But then I decided to go back and finish because I was having a baby and I wanted to be able to help her to the fullest. I knew there would be things that she wouldn’t know, and I wanted to be able to give her answers to those things.”

My point in writing this book is not to paint a rosy, cheery picture of high school and deny the validity of your negative feelings and experiences. I know that everything you feel, both good and bad, is true, because I have been there. As a teenager in high school, I wasted a lot of time and risked never finding my What are you best at doing? niche in life. I felt insecure and un Who do you respect that also does directed. But through the help of my this well? brother and others, I made it through What are you willing to do to improve and found myself and my confidence. and make the most of your strengths?

I hope this book can provide similar encouragement for you.

W h e r e Y o u A r e R i g h t N o w

Although we may or may not have much in common, we all share the experience of going to high school and being a teenager. That’s pretty basic, but on that maybe we can build a mutual understanding to help us learn from one another’s experiences. Reading this book will throw some challenges at you— the biggest one will be to realize your dreams. I want to psych you up to make the most of all the wonderful, talented parts of you. Your end of the bargain is to keep an open mind about the world and other people, and to find a way to realize that you are important, valuable, and worthwhile. thinking, writing and coaching

Reflect on what you have learned in this chapter and summarize the main ideas below.

If you were coaching eighth graders who were preparing for high school, what questions would you ask to help them determine what to expect from themselves, their new school and their changing environment?

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Financial Literacy

Do you have a bank account? If not, many banks will let you open one with as little as $50. Ask your parents to help you set up an account of your own at a local bank. Managing this account will teach you how to keep track of and save money.

Write answers to the following questions in the space below. If you don’t know the answers, discuss the questions first with your parents. n Why is it important to manage your bank account? n What are the costs of not managing your account? n How does a checkbook work? n How has on-line banking replaced checkbooks? n What are the advantages and disadvantages of on-line banking as opposed to writing checks and managing an account with a checkbook?

Long Term Planning and Strategy Your Eight Year Plan

Success requires thinking ahead and anticipating what you most want to happen in the future. Take a few minutes to picture yourself graduating from college. While it might still be eight or more years away, your ability to imagine this big day now will help you plan for your success. In the space below, write about what dreams you could accomplish if you graduate with a college degree.

W h e r e Y o u A r e R i g h t N o w

College Planning Prepare for Test Success

During your sophomore year, you will take the PSAT exam which will prepare you for the SAT College Entrance Exam your junior year. If you plan to attend a state school, you might take the ACT test. Both exams give colleges one perspective on your ability to do college level work. Other indicators they review are your activities during high school, your experiences which make you unique, any work or internship positions you’ve had and letters of recommendation your teachers, counselors or principals submit on your behalf.

In every chapter, you will get the chance to work on vocabulary and math problems to help you prepare for these exams. So, no worries. Work through these sample problems now and you will have a leg up as a sophomore when you take the PSAT. SAT and ACT Word Boosters

Accolades: praise The drummer received accolades from the fans in the crowd after his three hour jam session.

Use this word in a sentence:

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Alluded: indirect reference The teacher alluded to Elliot’s drumming when praising the band for their stellar performance.

Use this word in a sentence:

Analogy: comparison Elliot used an analogy of the drummers of the Beatles and Duke Ellington’s Big Band to summarize his own musical goals at Berkelee School of Music in Boston.

Use this word in a sentence:

Belligerent: hostile or aggressive attitude The tiger at the zoo was belligerent during feeding time.

Use this word in a sentence:

Bilk: cheat; defraud Bank employees receive e-mail notifications of scams trying to bilk customers.

Use this word in a sentence:

Bombastic: pretentious; exaggerated Angel has doubts about her brother’s bombastic excuse for being late.

Use this word in a sentence:

W h e r e Y o u A r e R i g h t N o w

Convoluted: twisted; complicated Maurice’s description of how he solved the mystery was convoluted.

Use this word in a sentence:

Credence: acceptance as true or valid The man’s testimony gave credence to the defendant’s position.

Use this word in a sentence:

Cryptic: puzzling; perplexing Heidi uses a cryptic code in her diary so that her sister can’t understand it.

Use this word in a sentence:

SAT and ACT Math Boosters Solving Ratios and Proportions

The Creamery sells only vanilla and chocolate ice cream. Three out of every seven customers prefer vanilla ice cream to chocolate ice cream.

1. If 35 people go to the Creamery, how many of them will choose vanilla ice cream?

2. If the Creamery serves 420 customers in one day, how many customers will choose chocolate ice cream?

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3. During one day, 150 customers were served vanilla ice cream.

How many total customers were served that day?

4. If 900 people chose chocolate during one week, how many total customers were served that week?

5. The Creamery sold vanilla ice cream to 300 people over the weekend. How many customers were in the store that weekend?