Lilies in the City - February 2015 - Issue 2
lilies city NO GREATER LOVE
Beauty AND THE BEAST
Abuse inChristian Relationships A DEADLY LOVE AFFAIR Sweet & Savory
An Everlasting
LOVE
BREAKFAST IDEAS
11
6
8 10
13
12
Unle
2
lilies city Glowing Lily
6 Beauty & The Beast
The Social Lily
8 Abuse In Christian Relationships
Lily Lifestyle
10 No Greater Love
13 A Deadly Love Affair
Lily Eats
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12
Strawberries & Cream Delight Vegetable Stuffed Tofu Omlette
ess otherwise noted, all scripture references are taken from the Authorized Version of the Bible (The King James Version) Photo credits (pg 2,13,14,) : Ricky Skrzepa Associate Editor: Delnita McDavid 3
See& Love
EDITOR'S NOTE
Love is shown in action. I
was halfway through my long bus ride home when I suddenly realized that I didn’t know who had been sitting beside me for the past twenty minutes. Have I so quickly adapted this cold citymentality? I asked myself, the ability to be in a crowd but not “see” anyone? I slowly looked up from my book and began to survey the people the Lord had brought on the bus that day. I saw many different faces with differing experiences and I began to pray for each one whose path Providence had intentionally crossed with mine. This past summer, I left the rural parts of the South and moved up North to the busy city I was raised in. Almost immediately I received a culture shock. I was accustomed to that good ole’ southern hospitality, but now was hardly able to find someone to make eye contact with, let alone to smile and exchange a greeting. Sadly, I had unknowingly begun to assimilate to my environment.
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God is love (1 Jn 4:8). And love is others-focused (see Jn 3:16 and Phil 2:4-7). The entire plan of salvation centers on Christ leaving heaven to redeem His bride. And He intends to bring her back with Him without the least taint of sin or worldliness (2 Pet 3:14). Love is shown in action. And practically, I can’t show my neighbor love, if I don’t see them there. In this issue we look at God’s character of love, how it should transform our lives and influence the lives of those around us. As I was getting up to exit the bus, I smiled at the lady that was sitting beside me and she smiled back. I thanked the bus driver, and he smiled in appreciation. “Because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” (Rm 5:5 KJV)
Contributing MINISTRIES
Almarie Hill and Sarah Victor (Wholly Whole) Almarie and Sarah are health crazy. Together they run Wholly Whole a wholistic health ministry geared to women. It explores how to partake of Christ’s complete restoration – physically, mentally, spiritually and socially. It is preparing a people to be completely whole and ready to soon meet our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Almarie and Sarah are a part of the Lilies in the City (LIC) administrative team.
Akilah Ballard (every thing Beautiful) Akilah specializes in skin and natural beauty, amongst other things. She’s found that He who transforms the butterfly and the sin-polluted heart from degradation to purity also provides nature as a restorative agent for physical beauty. The goal at every Thing Beautiful is to employ natural resources to provide skin-loving, chemical free beauty care products to help renew and maintain natural beauty. At Lilies in the City, Akilah is head of “lily glows” the section dedicated to health and beauty.
Rochelle Willis Rochelle provides strategic guidance to ministries in their marketing and development efforts. She has always had a passion for ministry and the furtherance of the gospel. When not working on various projects, she can be found in nature, doing a bible study or writing. Here at Lilies in the City, Rochelle organizes the “lily lifestyle” section.
Janelle Louis (Saving Health) Janelle is a firm believer that while Christ was on the earth, it was the healing ministry that He used to bring the gospel of salvation before the people, yet Christ focused on the wholeness of man. To Christ, without spiritual restoration, physical healing would have been meaningless. Christ’s mission is the same as Saving Health Ministries. At Lilies in the City, Janelle organizes everything for “the practical lily” section of the magazine.
Xavia Le Xavia is well versed in food and nutrition and organizes “lily eats.” She brings with her a love for God, people, science, health and restoration. Her kind spirit has given her the privilege of sharing these loves and mentoring many. She currently teaches children and toddlers and can be found disassembling thoughts and ideas.
Have Any Questions For The Lilies Staff? Contact us: admin@liliesinthecity.org
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Beauty AND THE BEAST – Akilah Ballard
God,
the Author of all beauty, is Himself a lover of the beautiful. The charm of the setting and rising sun, the beams of light that glisten upon the lakes, the elegant array of perfumed flowers, and the intricate design of butterflies – all these are pleasant to the eye, all reflect the character of God. As Christ came not to be ministered unto, but to minister; so all created things minister to some other life. “Every tree and shrub and leaf pours forth that element of life without which neither man nor animal could live…The sun sheds its light to gladden a thousand worlds. The ocean, itself the source of all our springs and fountains, receives the streams from every land, but takes to give.” [1] Nature does not lend itself exclusively to outward beauty, but also manifests the beautiful character of God. While God chiefly values this latter expression of beauty, a character reflective of His purity and love, worldly beauty emphasizes the outward appearance wholly to the exclusion of God’s character. As dissimilar as the ocean is to the dry desert so is the beastlike nature of worldly fashion to true beauty. Yet the same story told by Disney’s “Beauty and the Beast” is the same portrayed in the lives of those outside and even within the church; they are engaged in an illicit love affair with the beast of fashion. Meanwhile Christ is standing outside the door to the hearts of His earthly children (see Revelation 3:20) and if we would but open the door of our hearts to Him there would be a marked change in our 6
character; His love would radiate within us, giving us the type of beauty our souls are the most destitute of. Although Christ asks: Is not the body more than raiment? (See Matthew 6:25), we still devote ourselves more readily to the ever-changing and yet never satisfying beast of fashion and its values and ideologies. Often “…compelling her devotees to submit to the greatest inconvenience and discomfort,” [2] the decrees of fashion take no thought for the comfort or physical or moral health of its subjects.
"NATURAL LOVELINESS CONSISTS IN SYMMETRY, OR THE HARMONIOUS PROPORTION OF PARTS… SPIRITUAL LOVELINESS CONSISTS IN THE HARMONY OR LIKENESS OF OUR SOULS TO JESUS."
Fashion subscribes to the ideology that beauty is pain; whether it’s the sky-high stilettos that can lead to ingrown toenails and ankle pain, skinny jeans that restrict circulation, causing pain and even digestive problems, or the oversized and overstuffed purses that wear down the body and contribute to shoulder and back pain. Fashion proves itself to be a tyrannical power. Furthermore, although “none can afford [rich or poor] the outlay necessary for dressing in the height of style, for it involves robbery toward God,” [3] many will continue to sacrifice on fashion’s shrine the very necessities of life (i.e. rent money or food in the fridge) to continue to attire themselves in the latest style. This idolatry of dress is a moral disease. It is pride of self to the want of nobler virtues such as integrity, diligence, temperance and purity. The first week of my sister’s stay (who recently fell sick) was especially taxing as I juggled attending to her needs, maintaining the home, and fulfilling orders for my small business. All this was done to the neglect of my personal appearance. I found myself in “house clothes” all day, my hair was what I deemed “a hot mess”, and I was unhappy for my husband to see me like this day after day. On one particular day, it was my determined goal to wash my hair and change my clothes before he came home from work. However, that day
proved to be one of the most tiresome of the week. Soon after my husband came home I began to relate my frustrations of looking un-kept and unattractive. His response: “What was that article you last wrote?” “Nature’s foundation,” I replied. Then echoing the sentiments of my article he stated, “Beauty has little to do with clothes or physical appearance. Not many women know how to cook or keep a home. Not many women know how to take care of the sick. Not many women are willing to care for someone to the neglect of themselves.” As he walked over and embraced me he added, “You are still very attractive to me.” The feeling was mutual. My husband, who though hardworking, does not make a lot of money to afford many changes of vesture or lavish me with expensive gifts, is more beautiful to me than all the heartthrobs of Hollywood. In our four years of courtship, never had he been unfaithful or mistreated or degraded me in any way. Since marriage I’ve come to appreciate more fully the beauty of his character: his self-denying helpfulness, his sympathetic compassion and patience, his indispensable words of wisdom. These intangible qualities are of more value than the superficial externals of which all the men I’ve known before Christ possessed. The more I realize his character, the closer my heart binds to his and I am all the more motivated to make him happy and to do the things
that please Him. Many are the parallels between our earthly and heavenly relationships from which spiritual lessons are gained. As we behold the beauty of Christ in His self-denial, in His humiliation, in His purity, in His matchless love, the sinner’s heart is drawn out to Christ and deep love for Him will be the motive of our fidelity. Then will be our experience as noted in Psalms 40:8: “I delight to do thy will… yea, thy law is within my heart.” Not only will service spring forth from a heart subdued by love, a mysterious transformation will take place; by beholding Christ, copying Him and depending wholly upon Him, we are changed into His likeness (see 2 Corinthians 3:18). It would be well for us to remember that while: “Natural loveliness consists in symmetry, or the harmonious proportion of parts… spiritual loveliness consists in the harmony or likeness of our souls to Jesus. [4] [i] Ellen G White, The Desire of Ages (Mountain View, California: Pacific Press Pub Assn., 1898) p 20. [ii] Ellen G White, Child Guidance (Hagerstown, Maryland: Review and Herald Pub Assn., 1954) p 432. [iii] Ellen G White, “Cease from Idolatry”, The Review and Herald 68, no. 22 (1891) par. 10. [iv] White, Child Guidance p 432.
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Recognizing, Dealing with, and Preventing Psychological Abuse in “Christian” Relationships – Janelle Louis
Some time ago, a friend of mine congratulated me on my fairly recent marriage. She then asked me about my “married life:” what it was like and how it was going. I responded by telling her that it is great, I liked it a lot, and that the strong friendship that existed between my husband and myself before our wedding day helps us.
By God’s grace, we can go smoothly over the difficulties that come with the blending of two lives. I told her that it was exactly what I had expected and that it teaches me to trust in and depend on God more, just like every marriage should. Next, she told me her story; she had a bad experience most recently, from which she has not fully recovered. As a result, she wants to get married, but sometimes she’s unsure. She told me that, in her previous relationship, she had been constantly put down and criticized, leaving scars that were difficult to heal. To make a long story shorter, her previous significant other habitually compared her to other people, mainly himself, in a way that made her feel inadequate. He would tell her things like: “you’re not as mission-minded as me.” “You’re not as spiritual as I am.” “You have not experienced Christ like I have.” This discouraged her immensely, and she start8
ed to believe his words. She felt as though no one would ever love her and worse that she was “not good enough for a good Christian man.” She is only now beginning to recover from the damage that was inflicted throughout the course of this relationship. As professed Christians, our relationships are not in any way impervious to verbal or psychological abuse. The question begs to be asked then, “How can we avoid situations like these?” The following are four steps to minimize our likelihood of experiencing such destructive situations.
1. Maintain clear vision and appropriate perception throughout every step of the relationship. One of the first things I had to help my friend do is to re-evaluate her perception of a “good Christian man” and to realize that he is someone who resembles and is striving to be more and more like Jesus in character. He is not simply someone who possesses the astute ability to quote and reference scriptural texts. In any relationship, it is important to keep our eyes and minds open, so that we may discern the good qualities as well as the negative ones. In no way are we to become enraptured in the positive qualities to the neglect and dismissal of the negative ones.
2. Realize that, while the ideal partner will likely inspire you to strive to attain God’s ideal for your life, he will never try to
force you to become the person he wants you to be. With the word of God as our guide and standard, it is imperative that we seek to maintain our core values and to preserve our individuality in any relationship. We should in no case be so desirous of perceived love that we become willing to give up indispensible parts of who we are. Similarly, the ideal partner will not seek to force us to change so that we become, in his mind, more worthy of him. Instead of wanting us to conform to his will in every matter, he will respect our relationship with God and encourage us to follow His divine will in all things, even if it means at a loss to himself and his plans, hopes, wishes, and dreams.
3. Resist the temptation.
Additionally, in order to avoid psychologically destructive relationships, there are three major temptations to which we must not yield. The first is the temptation to settle on a person because of the fear that we may not find another. In order to finally have a successful relationship, we must believe that God has a plan for us and that His plan is indeed the best plan for our individual life and for the advancement of His kingdom. If we let go of a relationship that is harming us, we may trust that He has a better plan for us. The second temptation that must be resisted at all costs is that of being drawn back into a harmful relationship after being rescued by the grace of God. In order to ensure that we do not yield to this temptation, it may be necessary to cut ties with the person completely, whether it’s temporarily or permanently. The third temptation is one that often comes to those who have been emotionally hurt by the seemingly spiritual: the temptation to court outside of the faith. After such an ordeal, Satan often pres-
ents the idea that by engaging in a relationship with a non-Christian, all of the drama, pain, and negative emotions could have been avoided. While it is true that certain problems may be eliminated by being in a relationship with someone of another faith, it is also true that many more would arise that could be safely avoided in an equally-yoked relationship.
4. Christ’s will is beautiful The final and arguably most important thing that must be accomplished in order to escape from and subsequently avoid all damaging relationships is coming to the realization that God wants better for us, not because we deserve it, but because Jesus deserves it. It is His divine will that we perfectly reflect His joy, His peace, and His character in our individual lives as well as in our families. When we realize that when God looks at us, He sees us as what we are and will become in Jesus, it will become easier to fathom His love for us and, ultimately, to trust Him with our future. He loves us and wants to give us only the best if we will but trust in and wait on Him.
"WITH THE WORD OF GOD AS OUR GUIDE AND STANDARD, IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT WE SEEK
TO
MAINTAIN
OUR
CORE VALUES AND TO PRESERVE OUR INDIVIDUALITY IN ANY RELATIONSHIP."
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NO GREATER THE
LOVE
– Jarrell Bell
Greater Love has no man than a man laying down his life.
His clothes, then He left it
Would you die for a friend
Our Perfect example. Who lives and
that betrayed you in the end
dies by the word
He went the extra mile for all types of men.
which truly reveals Himself, because He
What if friends were just a title for the heart
is the Father heard.
of an enemy?
Name me a rich man that became will-
Despised and rejected and grief was on
ingly poor
the daily
To help the more and feed the poor who
Hiding our eyes, hated and despised
pleaded for heavenly store
Came to give truth in a world full of lies.
The Only one, begotten Son.
Maybe we are the enemy?
who was, and is, and still is... to come.
If not then it has to be sin Creation can’t kill His Creator So it must dwell in him He did this for you, me, and collectively us. I wish our leaders lives proved that in God we do trust. “I love you with everlasting love” Mark His word because He said it Died on Friday, raised on Sunday, folded
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Sweet Breakfast Idea
Strawberries & Cream
DELIGHT – Sarah Victor Serves 6
Waffle Ingredients: 1 1/4 cup nut milk (almond, coconut, cashew, soymilk etc.) 1/4 cup melted coconut oil 3 TB ground flax seeds 1/4 cup maple syrup (or raw honey) 1/2 cup rolled oats 1 3/4 cups flour of your choice (wheat, gluten free, all purpose, coconut etc.) 1 1/2 tsp Hain Pure Foods Featherweight Baking Powder Pinch sea salt 1 tsp vanilla extract 1/2 tsp cinnamon substitute** Zest of 1 lime
Instructions:
Strawberry Compote Ingredients:
Pour into preheated waffle iron/pan (or sandwich maker!) While the waffles are cooking, add the ingredients for the strawberry compote to a pan on medium heat and cook until it begins to simmer and all of the ingredients have reduced to a thick, chunky syrup.
1 bag of frozen strawberries 2 TB raw honey
Coconut Cream Ingredients: 1 chilled can of Trader Joes Coconut Cream 4 tbsp Raw Honey or maple syrup 1tsp almond extract
**Cinnamon had many beneficial properties when used medicinally. Its analgesic property (ability to reduce the perception of pain) makes it detrimental when used regularly, as it numbs your nerve senses. Here's a great substitute
(You can make this dish into waffles or pancakes. In my case, I found a sandwich maker while thrifting, so that is what I'll be using.) Mix flax meal with 6 TB warm water and let sit for about 2 minutes until it's thickened. Add in coconut oil and mix. Next, add in flour, oats, cinnamon, baking powder, maple syrup, salt, almond milk, vanilla extract, lime zest and whisk together until no lumps remain.
In another bowl, mix the coconut cream, maple syrup and almond extract together with a whisk until peaks are formed. (You can even add carob powder for a "chocolate" cream!) Place the cream into the refrigerator until ready to serve. Once the waffles, strawberry compote and the coconut cream are ready, plate and serve with fresh strawberries!
*Warning: this is a crowd pleaser. Only consider making this for family and friends you really want to keep coming back to your home! :)
for 1 tsp of cinnamon: 1/8 tsp cardamon, 1/2 +1/8 tsp coriander and 1/4 tsp anise seed. Make a large batch and store for regular use
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Savory Breakfast Idea
Vegetable STUFFED TOFU
Serves 2-3 Makes 2 giant (full pan size) or 4 medium sized omelettes
Omelette Ingredients: 1 package FIRM tofu (must be firm or extra firm) 1/4 cup. nut milk of your choice 3 tbsp. of nutritional yeast flakes 3 tbsp. cornstarch/tapioca starch /potato starch /arrowroot powder / ENERG egg replacer (I'm giving you lot's of options!) 1/2 cup flour of your choice (wheat/gluten free/all purpose) 1 tsp chipotle powder 1/4 tsp. turmeric 1 tsp. salt, or to taste 1/8 tsp of smoked paprika 1/4 chopped onion 1 tsp minced garlic 2 TB high heat oil**
Filling Ingredients: Tri colored peppers, chopped 1/2 onion, chopped Minced garlic 2 TB Trader Joe’s Olive Tapanade Vegan cheese *optional (I prefer a homemade cashew cheese using blended cashews that have been soaked in water over night, nutritional yeast flakes, and pimento peppers) Chopped tomato Broccoli Any other desired toppings
OMELETTE’S
Directions:
– Sarah Victor
Place all the omelette ingredients into a food processor and blend together until smooth. Next, add a couple of teaspoons of your desired high-heat oil to a heated wide shallow pan (that will not stick) over medium heat. It should be very hot before adding the mixture. Pour roughly the size of a large pancake of the mixture into the heated pan. Too much will be hard to pick up and fold. Carefully spread it into a circle using a small spatula or the back of a spoon. There is a lot of air in the mixture, so a thick batter is ok. Be careful not to spread too thinly.
Note: DO NOT TOUCH THE OMELETTE UNTIL IT IS READY TO FLIP, or you will have a tofu scramble! While the omelette is cooking, add oil to a separate pan and heat over medium to high heat and quickly sauté the pre-chopped ingredients for the filling, with seasonings and salt to taste. Let the omelette cook for at least 5 minutes. When it almost dries out on the top it is set. Turn the heat down to medium-low. Flip it over for the tofu to be cooked firm. Once the omelette is cooked and sturdy enough to move, slide it onto a plate. Add the filling to half of the omelette, fold it over and serve! *Don't worry if your omelette doesn't come out perfect the first couple of times. God sometimes uses our daily tasks to teach us important truths and to help cultivate characteristics that will aid us in our spiritual walk with Him. Be patient and keep trying! (Save the nicer looking ones for your family and loved ones!) For this cause I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might show forth all longsuffering (patience), for a pattern to them which should hereafter believe on Him to life everlasting. {1 Timothy1:16}
**Most oils when heated lose their beneficial properties. For this reason, olive oil is best used at room temperature. Certain 'highheat' oils are able to maintain a maximum amount of nutrients when heated to high degrees like in cooking, frying or baking. Some of these oils are grapeseed, sunflower, safflower and coconut. Try one for a different flavour in your next meal!
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A Deadly
13 - Lilies in the City - January 2015
Love Affair
W
ith his dazzling brilliance he caught her eyes. She knew that she shouldn’t look, but curiosity got the best of her. When she tried to walk away, he whispered her name. His soft voice stopped her in her tracks. The bruises from her last encounter with him are vividly impressed upon her mind. She knows he doesn’t have her best interest at heart. Love is something alien to him. He doesn’t even know how to produce it. This relationship is unhealthy and she knows it. “Run!” she says in her head. But her feet fail to obey her. At first read, you might think the paragraph above is talking about a woman in an abusive relationship. Longing to be free but she finds herself a captive, powerless to resist the abusive lover. But it isn’t about a woman struggling with domestic abuse; rather it’s a commentary on the relationship humans have with sin and Satan. A relationship that is so toxic, if it continues it can only result in death according to Romans 6:23.
– Rochelle Willis Many people will shake their head in dismay at a woman who keeps running back to a man who uses her as a punching bag. We might be tempted to say, “what’s wrong with her? Why does she allow him to do that to her?” We might even say, “I would never allow that to happen to me.” And even as the last word drops from our lips, Satan smirks because he knows better. For we allow him to treat us like that all the time. Though we have nothing good to show since we have been in a relationship with sin, it’s hard for us to break free from its grasp. The Bible couldn’t be any clearer on the devil’s hatred for us. Revelation 12:12 says that after Satan was kicked out of heaven he came down to earth having “great wrath,” and that wrath was directed towards the inhabitants of this earth. 1 Peter 5:8 paints a more vivid picture, describing him as a “roaring lion” seeking to devour us. In other words, he means us no good. Yet, like a moth drawn to the flame we find ourselves still falling for his lies. He promises pleasure but only gives pain.
TODAY IF YOU HEAR GOD’S VOICE HARDEN NOT YOUR HEART! YOU MAY NOT HAVE ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY TO ESCAPE. How the heart of God must break as He sees us engaged in this deadly love affair. He sees us drinking from the bro-
ken cisterns of the enemy, when He has living waters for us to drink (Jeremiah 2:13, John 4:14). He recognizes that we are addicts to this deadly lover. This is why He sent His Son to die for us that we might have a chance to break free. But how few accept His loving offer to separate from the tyrant of sin. How few actually pack there bags, write sin a ‘Dear John’ letter and flee for their lives. Many find the punches of sin more appealing than the tender embraces of God. There is some that make an effort, they pack their bags but they leave some of their clothes behind: providing an excuse to go back. They don’t cut ties all the way. They go so far, but sadly not far enough. God seeks to intervene but as is the reality of those in abusive relationships, they defend their abuser. They look at God as though He doesn’t have their best interest at heart. And so He continues to plead with them. Hoping they will awake and realize that they deserve much better. He wants to give them something better. The reality is that we all have been involved in this deadly affair. Some of us have broken free by God’s grace. Yet 13
Lilies Lilies in in the the City City -- January January 2015 2015 -- 14 14 even then, this lover doesn’t give up. He’s always planning and scheming up ways to get us back. But we can praise the Lord for the power that He has made available to us! If you are still caught in this abusive cycle, there is hope for you. There is a wonderful promise in John 8:36, “If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.” But there is no time for delay! One in three homicide victims are murdered by their current or former partners. Today if you hear God’s voice harden not your heart! You may not have another opportunity to escape.
WHAT CAN YOU DO? 1. Reach out to Christ (John 15:5; Philippians 4:13) 2. Acknowledge that you have been a slave to sin & Satan
(Romans 6:16)
3. Cut all ties with Satan, give him back all his stuff, and
don’t answer his calls. (Psalms 38:17,18)
4. Let Christ satisfy your desires for love. (Colossians 2:10,
Isaiah 54:5)
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