Lilies in the City - May/June 2016 - Issue 15
lilies city
MISSING:
A VIRTUOUS WOMAN
A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE AND HIS ROLE
Fruitsicles
true
Beauty GOT WRINKLES?
Avoiding the
Eve
Something about
(&Adam)
Motherhood Discouragement Trap Children Not
Dolls
6 15
2
18 22
10 24
26
lilies city Social Lily Lily Lifestyle
6 Missing: A Virtuous Woman 18 Children Not Dolls
10 A Man's Perspective & His Role 15 Got Wrinkles?
Lily Eats Practical Lily Glowing Lily
22 Fruitsicles 24 Avoiding the Motherhood Discouragement Trap 26 True Beauty
Unless otherwise noted, all scripture references are taken from the Authorized Version of the Bible (The King James Version)
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EDITOR'S NOTE
ve E
Something about
M
y heart grew warm as I sat watching the unspoken language between mother and child. They communicated with slow gestures, soft sounds, and gentle caressing. Meliyah was now 5-weeks-old and could do no more than completely trust her mom: and this she did with expert-like ease. As her eyes rolled around examining the sights and sounds, they would always stop and rest on her mothers face. She opened and closed some of the fingers on her hand as if trying to touch that face that laboured 11 hours for her. Her mother gazed back at her cooing and playing with her fingers.
"I just can't put her down," her mother exclaimed smiling. Carrying the extra weight in her body for over 9 months 4
wasn't enough. This new bundle of joy spent most of her waking moments in her mothers arms: feeding, playing, crying, being changed and falling asleep. And it wasn't that Meliyah's mother didn't have enough to do with running a home and looking after a family, rather, there was something about the love and almost inseparable bond between mother and child. I leaned in intently. My thoughts went back to the birth of the very first human child, Cain, just outside the gates of Eden. Closer to perfection and with a better lifestyle, were Eve's labour pains less severe? Likely. Did that reduce the love and joy she felt as she held her firstborn close to her bosom? Or the work involved in raising the first generation of Earth's inhabitants? Doubtful. What about Hannah, Samuel's mother? Or Daniel's mother? Or David's mother? They were to train and mould the minds of soon to be leaders and rulers.
Something like Mary, as she helped to raise the baby Jesus. Meliyah's older sister shrieked as her father tickled her and Meliyah's eyes rolled towards the familiar voice. She opened her mouth and shook her foot as if to protest, but no sound escaped. True to being a little child, she was completely dependant upon her mother, even to be her defense. How many lessons I learned from this little infant in those short moments. And what a lofty role the mother has: to protect, to defend, to care for, to train, to help and to teach the little souls that are given her. There must have been something about Eve and about Mary; there must be something about all mothers, really. In this issue we examine the role of womanhood and especially motherhood.
Administrative
STAFF
Almarie Hill Almarie is the Editor-in-Chief at Lilies in the City (LIC). Of things seen on this earth, she loves only sweet potatoes and bananas more than words, writing and editing. Almarie lives for ministry and has a passion for Christ's wholistic method of healing - naturally. Wholly Whole is her personal ministry, reflecting her journey to completeness in Christ.
Akilah Ballard As the Financial Manager at LIC, the Lord has blessed Akilah with a knack for organization and attention to detail: two skills fundamental to finance and accounting. When not analyzing numbers, she loves to admire God through His created works: gardening has become one of her favorite interests. She suspects that the same excitement she has watching seeds grow is the same that God has in watching His Word bear fruit in our hearts.
Sarah Victor Sarah is LIC’s Account Manager and she has made it her personal goal to make the service of God the most attractive thing in the world. Whether she is sharing tasty, healthful recipes, sharing object lessons while gardening, or while making her all natural hair and body butters for Jane's Butters, there is always one goal: to show that there is great peace, safety, and most of all joy in the service of our loving God!
Have Any Questions For The Lilies Staff? Contact us: admin@liliesinthecity.org
Associate Editor: Delnita McDavid
Rochelle Mekowulu Rochelle, the Business Manager, provides strategic guidance to ministries in their marketing and development efforts. She has always had a passion for ministry and the furtherance of the gospel. When not working on various projects, she can be found in nature, doing a bible study or writing.
Jaleesa Almarales Jaleesa, the Marketing Manager, believes that Christ's method alone will give true success in reaching people. Therefore counseling and teaching combined with a few other talents are tools that God has given her to prepare people, especially an army of youth, to meet our God. In her spare time, she can be found working on a DIY project, painting or trying to learn to play the piano.
Angelique Manning As the administrative assistant at LIC, Angelique is dedicated to using the skills the Lord has blessed her with to proclaim the gospel of Jesus Christ. She believes that true happiness is found in unselfish ministry and with that, loves to serve whether it's by encouraging her family and friends or sharing the love of Christ with people in her community.
Photo Credits: Willam Kertawijaya (cover, pg 26,28,29) Layout & Design: Abiola Osinjolu 5
MISSING A Virtuous Woman – Jenée St. Juste
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"Women have forgotten who they are and why they were created."
for usefulness in the home, this world and the world to come. This is a sacred duty. If you're privileged to be a mother, this position humbles you, helps you to build character, and prepares you for eternity.
In this age, women have forgotten who they are and why they were created. The virtuous woman has gone missing. Housewives are becoming rare. People now look down on this duty and think of it as very lowly. "Times are changing!" they say. Yes, that is true but God never changes. "For I am the Lord, I change not..." (Mal. 3:6). It all am not a wife, or a mother, comes down to one word, PRINbut I am a woman, a daugh- CIPLE. We have to stop moving ter, and a sister. And I'm with the times, moving with sociunderstanding more and ety, and move with God instead. more my responsibilities as a Woman of God… Let's go back to the Garden of Eden; we'll take a lesson out of God calls for virtuous women. the book of our first parents (Gen. "Who can find a virtuous wom- 2:7,15-18,21-23). God created an?" (Prov. 31:10). They are Adam and gave him specific pretty rare these days. The fact instructions to follow (see Gen. that you have to find her means 2:15-17). God gave the instrucshe must be missing. Sadly, we tions to Adam. Why? He was the have lost an important part of our head of the household. "For the identity as women. We are too husband is the head of the wife, busy fighting for “equal” rights even as Christ is the head of the and have forgotten our most im- church" (Eph. 5:23). portant duty. "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, Like today, God has instructions so that he shall have no need of to us as His church, His people, spoil... She riseth also while it is through His Holy Word, and we yet night, and giveth meat to her ought to be obedient to what's household..." (31:11,15). Have written there. "Therefore as the you seen her? Oh, she’s out tak- church is subject unto Christ, ing care of her husband? Her so let the wives be to their own family too? Is she a housewife? husbands in everything" (Eph. She must have been. 5:24). The Bible states clearly that wives ought to be subject Housewives are virtuous women. to their husbands not in some When you look at a mother/wife, things but in every single thing. she has a high responsibility; a Subjection is defined as the act duty worth more than any career: of subduing. the high responsibility of caring for the family. She is respon- We as women are becoming too sible for educating her children independent to be submissive,
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just like Eve. Eve left her husband's side and then fell into temptation. God told her that she shouldn't leave her husband's side but she left nonetheless. She felt confident in being her own person; in being independent. Sounds familiar? Yes, we too find ourselves trusting ourselves over God. I used to think, "I want my own house, car, need to get my own career, going to hire a nanny to take care of the children, a cook, a maid..." and the list went on. But God did not design it to be so. When God created Eve, she created her as "a help meet" for Adam (Gen. 2:18). That hasn't changed. God made the woman to be a help meet for the man. Not to be above him, not to be the head and not to be the tail either. When we start straying away from the instructions God has given us, we fall: destruction comes upon us and as with our first parents, sin. As we women move away from God's principles, we find broken homes, lawless children, hatred, rebellion, a people who do not know their God-given purpose, a people who have the form of godliness but deny the power thereof (2 Tim. 3:5), and the list goes on. S I N. When we look further into Adam and Eve's story, we see how the enemy works to destroy the family. He knows that if he gets into the home and pulls the family apart, he has a divided church, and then a chaotic society. The church and society is a reflection of the mother's duty in the home! It all begins in the home and that is why it is important that children are raised in the fear of the Lord. "The world needs mothers who are not merely in name but in every sense of the word."1 We have to realize that "the mother's work is given her of God, to bring up her children in the nurture and admoni8
tion of the Lord."2 "Next to God, the mother's power for good is the strongest known on earth."3
high regard, "for her price is far above rubies" (Prov. 31:10). She must be worth something! "But a woman that feareth the We need mothers and fathers Lord, she shall be praised" who see the importance of (31:30). We need virtuous proper education for the chil- women. We need to find her. dren that God has entrusted And good news! There is a rein their care. We need moth- ward for those who choose this ers who do not look down on high calling: eternity. Not only cooking or sewing, gardening, for you but for those you have cleaning, schooling or even rightly trained. You have the making the home a happy power to influence your child. place. We need mothers who Make use of it in Jesus' name want to live to please God in and see the difference. everything. We need mothers who would raise the standard. 1 Ellen G. White, The Adventist Home Mothers who would stick to Bi- (Washington, D.C.: Review and Herald ble principle and carry out their Publishing Assn.,1955), 23 God-given purpose... Let me remind you that God looks at a virtuous woman with
2. Ibid., 233 3. Ibid., 240.
"The church and society is a reflection of the mother's duty in the home."
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WOMANHOOD& MOTHERHOOD: A Man's Perspective & His Role – Harold Sykes
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nd the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man... And Adam called his wife's name Eve; because she was the mother of all living." (Gen. 2:2123; 3:20). In these brief utterances we witness the origins of all womanhood and motherhood. Not only is the significance of man's role vividly portrayed, but the very first audible words spoken concerning woman was not from the voice of God, nor from the woman herself, but from man's perspective. Looking through the eyes of Adam, we see him view Eve as every man ought to view the woman who stands at his side, as a part of himself. The very existence of woman stands as an expression of God's principle of giving of yourself to receive a blessing much greater. In a literal sense Adam gave God a tithe of his ribs, and God returned unto him a companion that would ever reflect in her nature that principle of selfsacrifice. As a woman she gives her very self to comfort and please her husband. As a mother she gives her body to be the crib and kitchen for her offspring. Though God had given Adam headship over the earth and everything created therein, Eve was the only created thing Adam had a person-
"This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh." al investment in. Although we can never justify our father's decision to sin, can we not sympathize with the love he had for our mother, that made her to him a treasure worth dying for? When Christ searched for a suitable representation of His church, He found no better symbol than a woman. Does not the love He displayed by His death on the cross illustrate His estimation of her worth? In our fallen state however, these roles have been perverted and abused too severely to be described. Yet those who make Christ their Lord, and the Bible their guide have a genuine map that leads to the recovery of this lost treasure. Unfortunately many have judged and despised the male perspective of the Bible authors as unfavorable and even degrading to women. Though it can not be denied that there are indeed atrocities to women documented in the Biblical narrative, these are simply the factual records of events that occurred. Their place in the Bible does not mean they bear the sanction of God, or the holy men whom He instructed during those times. 11
The Bible instructs men to give "honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel" (1 Pet. 3:7). Of course being named "the weaker vessel" is offensive to the unconverted woman in her pride, but I have yet to hear these advocates for gender equality complain about separate events for males and females in athletic competitions such as the Olympics. The sanctified woman however embraces her station as the Bible defines it, and is exalted through her humility. Paul the most zealous of the apostles said, "when I am weak, then am I strong", for God had promised him, "my strength is made perfect in weakness" (2 Cor. 12:910). Such is the continual contradiction of God, we receive by giving, we live by dying, we are made strong by accepting our weakness. Though men are physically stronger, it is the weaker vessel which carries and bears children. The stress which pregnancy places upon the body is too much for men to endure. Where does the "weaker vessel" obtain this strength to bear physically what the stronger vessel cannot? "Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because she judged him faithful who had promised� (Heb. 11:11). Space will not allow me to do more than scratch the surface of the magnitude of womanhood and motherhood, even though I'm writing strictly from a man's perspective. In an ideal situation she is her father's sweetest joy, and he is her first love. She is the desire of her husband's eyes, and he is her support and strength. She is God's love on 1212 10
"She is the desire of her husband's eyes, and he is her support and strength. She is God's love on earth to her children, and she loves them more than her own life."
earth to her children, and she loves them more than her own life. As for notoriety, it has been said of a woman that "the home should be to the children the most attractive place in the world, and the mother’s presence should be its greatest attraction."1 As for honor and responsibility it is written, "Next to God, the mother’s power for good is the strongest known on earth."2
1. Ellen G. White, The Adventist Home (Hagerstown, MD: Review and Herald Publishing Assn., 1952), 21. 2. Ibid., 240.
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GOT WRINKLES?
H
ave you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and noticed obvious signs of aging? Well, I did. One day, I woke up and looked at myself in the mirror and saw some fine lines on the corner of my lips and some on the forehead, and even one or two strands of gray hair. In my mind, I screamed, "Argh! I'm getting old!" Technically, we do get older everyday, but sometimes you don't realize it until you see some tell-tale signs.
– Monik Amelia
I was still in dismay, so I exam- made them look as they do now. ined my newly discovered All elderly, except those who had wrinkles carefully. They're not botox or plastic surgery, have that bad, I tried to console wrinkles. While it is true that most myself. Then, new light came of their wrinkles are caused by to me: in some ways, wrinkles aging, some are shaped by how do shape our face. A friend of they carried their countenance in mine who loves to laugh all the the past and are carrying it in the time from ear to ear has some present. fine lines on the corner of her lips. Another friend has marked There are three types of wrinkles: lines on his forehead because he has a habit of raising his 1) Dynamic wrinkles. They are eyebrows. Without those lines caused by repeated muscle or wrinkles, I probably would contractions from facial expresnot be able to recognize them: sions, such as frowning, smiling, those lines or wrinkles have or squinting. 15
2) Static wrinkles. They come Adam's image more than God's, from the loss of elasticity due and his descendants continued to to age and lifestyle and can be have even less and less of God's caused by smoking, sun expo- image. Sin has changed man's sure, poor nutrition, heredity, image that was originally intended and even prolonged dynamic to reflect God. wrinkling. Sadly, most dynamic wrinkles do become static wrin- The same thing happened to kles and are visible all the time. Satan. He had a different countenance before his fall (See Is. 14 3) Wrinkle Folds. These wrin- and Ex. 28). One inspired writer kles are hard to prevent as they shares: come only from the natural progression of age. As we age, we “I was shown Satan as he once lose some subcutaneous facial was, a happy, exalted angel. fat and there is some sagging Then I was shown him as he now involved under some facial is. He still bears a kingly form. His structures. features are still noble, for he is an angel fallen. But the expression of I started to wonder how Adam his countenance is full of anxiety, was. There is not a Bible text care, unhappiness, malice, hate, that really tells whether Adam mischief, deceit, and every evil. brother, God knew that Cain was had wrinkles. One thing for That brow which was once so angry. Yes, it is true that God read sure, according to Genesis noble, I particularly noticed. His Cain's heart, but the Bible also 1:26-27, God made Adam in forehead commenced from his notes that God noticed his facial His image, after His likeness. eyes to recede. I saw that he had expression: thus God asked, "Why Adam's face actually portrayed so long bent himself to evil that is thy countenance fallen?" (Gen. God! What an amazing thought! every good quality was debased, 4:6). From verse 5, note what Unfortunately, after sin, accord- and every evil trait was developed. shaped Cain's countenance–wrath ing to Genesis 5:3, men started His eyes were cunning, sly, and or anger. losing God's image. Adam showed great penetration. His "begat a son in his own like- frame was large, but the flesh We can pout once or twice and ness, after his image." Seth had hung loosely about his hands and create temporary dynamic wrinface. As I beheld him, his chin kles, but if we keep cherishing that was resting upon his left hand. He anger or whatever it may be, those appeared to be in deep thought. A dynamic wrinkles may turn into smile was upon his countenance, static wrinkles that will be permawhich made me tremble, it was nent and visible at all times on our so full of evil and satanic slyness. face. We may conceal what is in This smile is the one he wears just our hearts, but sooner or later it will before he makes sure of his victim, show on our countenance. When and as he fastens the victim in his we cherish the attributes of Satan snare, this smile grows horrible.”1 in our hearts, we may also be responsible for shaping our face Satan was a happy angel, but sin like his. Notice a list of what those has marred his face. He smiles, attributes are: but it is an evil smile. "Jealousy, envy, pride, unchariJust like sin marred Satan's and table feelings, self-righteousness, Adam's face, sin can also mar being easily provoked, thinking our face, creating unnecessary evil, harshness, coldness, lack of wrinkles; wrinkles that show the sympathy–these are the attributes evil in our hearts. Just right before of Satan."2 Cain made up his mind to kill his
" We may conceal what is in our hearts, but sooner or later it will show on our countenance."
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"Christ is sitting for His portrait in every disciple."
Just as sin is capable of affecting our face, praise God, the grace of Christ can also shape our countenance if we choose it. "The grace of Christ is to control the temper and the voice. Its working will be seen in politeness and tender regard shown by brother for brother, in kind, encouraging words. An angel presence is in the home. The life breathes a sweet perfume, which ascends to God as holy incense. Love is manifested in kindness, gentleness, forbearance, and long-suffering.The countenance is changed. Christ abiding in the heart shines out in the faces of those who love Him and keep His commandments. Truth is written there. The sweet peace of heaven is revealed. There is expressed a habitual gentleness, a more than human love."3
Romans 8:29 tells us that God did predestinate us to be conformed to the image of His Son, not of Satan. It is His will that we reflect His image not only in character, but also on our countenance. When we cherish Christ in the heart; when we cherish the fruit of the Spirit, which is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance (Gal. 5:22-23); when we only think; whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report (Phil. 4:8); when we bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ (2 Cor. 10:5), we choose to have His image.
So, next time you look at yourself in the mirror, examine which wrinkles you have–wrinkles of Satan or of Christ. Whichever they are, remember that "Christ is sitting for His portrait in every disciple."4 1.Ellen G. White, Early Writings (Washington, DC: Review and Herald Publishing Assn., 1882), 152. 2. Ellen G. White, Mind, Character & Personality, vol. 1 (Nashville, TN: Southern Publishing Assn., 1977), 192. 3. Ellen G. White, Christ Object Lessons (Washington, DC: Review and Herald Publishing Assn., 1900), 192. 4. Ellen G. White, The Desire of Ages (Moutainview, CA: Pacific Press Publishing Assn.,1898), 827.
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Children not
Dolls
– Janet Bell
---s far back as I can remember I have always wanted to be a mother, whether due to instinct or observation, I cannot tell. I grew up in Jamaica in the mid 1950's and during that time most women did not work outside the home. The natural trend was to grow up and become a mother.
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My first doll was made by my dad, an expert tailor. She looked more like a gingerbread man than a doll, but with her tailor-made big eyes she satisfied all my expectations. Betsy felt the gambit of all my emotions; if I was angry with my siblings and couldn't hit them in retaliation, Betsy got the beating instead. If I was sad, Betsy listened to my groaning. Betsy was my best friend and also my worst enemy. Sometimes Betsy would be missing in action for days as I was pre-occupied with real people or just having fun. When she would surface she was found dirty, wet or both, never complaining and taking the good with the bad. Betsy was eventually replaced with porcelain dolls with hair and eyes that could open and close. One of these dolls even cried and said 'ma-ma’. Named
Nola, Patsy, Betty Suzie and Cherry, each reflected the unique story behind their name. Dolls played a big part of how I viewed my role as a mother; I was their protector, care-taker and friend. They belonged to me and they were mine. As a teenager some of my friends became mothers; I was never interested because I valued my freedom too much. Almost 35 years ago when I thought I had the means, a mate to help and the physical maturity, I became a real live mom. I thought I was ready; I had prepared by reading everything I could get my hands on about parenting. I took classes from birthing to child rearing and on that faithful day in February 1983, I was ready to announce, "World, here comes supermom!" Or so I thought. Two days out of the hospital, I found myself up at midnight in tears. My little girl would not fall asleep and just kept crying. What was I to do? The remedies the books suggested did not work, I was tired and helpless. For the first time I realized that the answer had to be with the Manufacturer. My baby did not come with a manual did she? I was not a Christian but I knew enough to run to God for help even if it was 19 19
from frustration. As a last resort I cried out to God for help. I was shocked with the almost immediate response as I paced the hallway - my baby fell asleep. I dismissed the possibility of God's intervention and concluded that she was exhausted. In the back of my mind though, there was a nagging feeling - Could it be that the God who made us provided instruction in His word, to guide us through the joys and pain of motherhood? My parenting styles and methods were all derived from my parents, aunts, neighbors and friends. What I had read had little impact on how and what I did. There were times I disdainfully found myself doing the same things my mother did to me that I had vowed not to do with my child. But, children learn from what they live NOT what they are taught. I was shocked one day when I heard my daughter disciplining her dolls using words that certainly were not words of affirmation. Those were the same words my mother used, I had used, and three generations later they had been perfected in my little girl's mouth. The wise King Solomon said, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it" (Prov. 22:6). There is much to learn here; the word train means "to develop or form habits, thoughts or behavior by discipline and instruction." Child rearing is not a passive role. It is too important to learn by osmosis or from someone else, regardless of how good a mother one may think she is. God has provided us instructions in His Word: it is full of instruction as to how one should prepare for motherhood, the home environment and everything to nurture our chil20
dren in the fear and admonition of the Lord. As I reflect on motherhood, experience has taught me not to trust in my own knowledge. If I had the opportunity to do it all over again, I would consult the Master Designer and learn more from the feet of Jesus instead of trusting behavioral psychologists. My advice, therefore, is before you embark upon this lifelong assignment, talk to God, read the Bible and stay on your knees in prayer. Before we can influence someone for good we must be under the influence of God. The same Holy Spirit, who helped create us, is here to recreate Godly characters in our children.
"Child rearing is not a passive role. It is too important to learn by osmosis or from someone else, regardless of how good a mother one may think she is."
"Before we can influence someone for good we must be under the influence of God."
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s e l c i s t i u Fr
– Brittany Hodges
H
aaave you ever experienced trying to prepare meals for your family while your children are running around the house, crying or rummaging through the kitchen cabinets making meals of their own? I’m sure this probably makes cooking take twice as long, but what if the children were able to help prepare a dish? I know, you’re probably thinking “disaster waiting to happen”, but consider the benefits. Especially with mothers that are transitioning to make a healthier food choices for the families, it can be tough getting the children on board. Inviting children into the kitchen makes them feel accomplished and they are more likely to eat something that they created with their own hands. It’s great bonding time and cultivates patience in all who participate.
The following recipe is perfect during the warmer seasons and it’s also sugar-free. The natural sweetness of the fruit gives these fruitsicles a refreshing taste the children will love.
Step 1
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Chop desired fruit into
small or medium chunks
Step 2 Allow the children to make
layers in the popsicle mold or ice tray.
Step 3 Pour 100%
fruit juice into the mold and place the lid onto the fruit mixture, or if using an ice tray, spread plastic wrap tightly over the tray and stick popsicle sticks into each fruitsicle mixture
Step 4
and wait.
Place into freezer overnight…
Step 5
By this time I’m sure that your little chefs are ready to drink the juice and eat the fruit as is, but this would be a great time to teach them a lesson about Jesus and how patient He was, and just like Him we are to develop patience to.
Step 6 Remove from mold/tray and ENJOY.
This recipe is all around healthy, quick and easy to prepare, being beneficial for both mommy and child. Eating whole fruit is a better alternative than fruit juice because it still contains the necessary fibers needed for healthy digestion.
Happy Eating!
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Avoiding the
Motherhood Discouragement Trap
– Sheila Colas
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"Treasuring Christ for yourself when your hands are full refreshes the soul."
W
hen we think of what a Christian mother looks like, what picture do we paint in our minds? A compassionate woman who sacrifices all her comforts and will work endlessly in the home without expecting any kind of reward. Her only thought is to take care of her children. Is this correct? This is what Christian motherhood should be, right? Not to me! Motherhood is more than taking care of your children and keeping the house together. Allow me to explain. As mothers, rather than asking how many endless tasks we’ve accomplished, the real question is how much of the gospel do we actually allow to impact our day-to-day lives? Yes, Christian mothers are human, but how does one apply biblical principles in a practical way? What happens when your “to-do” lists are never ending or when you're surrounded by mess and yelling children, just wishing you could hide or run away? What do you do in those moments?
a very good Christian because everyone else seems to be so much godlier.” It is a fact, Christian mothers have good and bad days just like any other mother. But there is something that sets us apart: Christ! Treasuring Christ for yourself when your hands are full refreshes the soul. Lift your eyes away from yourself and place them on Christ. Stop letting your performance dictate your worth. Take off the mask of acceptability and put on the whole armor of God.
• Bathe your soul in the truth of the gospel, ‘stamp eternity on [your] eyeballs,’ and then come back tomorrow and do it all again. • Always take some time out for yourself: even if it is only five minutes per day. • Throw self out the window! There is only a short period of opportunity to make lasting impressions on our children. • It’s okay to cry in front of your children. Be open and honest with your children when you make a mistake. Vulnerability and transparency Are you dwelling on your mis- is needed sometimes. takes or do you acknowledge your flaws and press forward by Christian mothers are human God’s grace? Oftentimes, we for- too. We have good and bad get that motherhood means sacri- days just like any other mother. fice and pain from the first day of We may fail from time to time conception. Trials of motherhood but, having Christ as our guide comes along with the territory. is what sets us apart. Stand on His strength and His grace Yes, I can show you passages in alone. Titus, Ephesians or even Proverbs that are great reminders of how we are to act as Christian women. I can tell you that everything is going to be all right but, where is the practicality in that? What can we do to lessen the overload of mistakes in our motherhood story?
Adding to many duties and responsibilities, is the nagging feeling that you're messing up and not the perfect mom for your Here are some tips and words of children. This can then cause you advice I have received through to fall into the comparison trap. polls or have learned through my You think if only you tried as hard continuous journey as a Christian as that other mother, you'd be a mother: much better mom. If you're like me, you have tried and tried to • Look at motherhood as a form improve and still thought to your- of worship and not a to-do list: self, "It must be that I'm just not the right mindset is everything.
"Take off the mask of acceptability and put on the whole armor of God."
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true Beauty – Polyene Mburu
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"Beauty is Him, He defines or gives life and meaning to beauty…there is nothing beautiful outside of Him."
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s a child, you probably grew up hearing, "Hello cutie! Oh, she is so cute! Look at those eyes! Look at those lips! Her hair is gorgeous!” And the list goes on and on. At twelve perhaps you heard, "Hey beautiful, hey gorgeous,” until the age of sixteen when it became, “Hey sexy, hot mama, etc.” Or maybe you grew up hearing the opposite, "Bless her heart, she has a face only a mother can love! Hey chubbie! Hello big ears! Hello squinty! or big nose etc…” Most females can attest to hearing some combination of these words in their lifetime. Sadly, words like these have formed our self worth, value systems and have, to a great degree, determined the type of adults we have become. They have also driven home the point that beauty or unattractiveness is characterized by the outer appearance, totally neglecting a very vital part of this equation. Most women have embarked on a journey of trying to retain the beauty titles bestowed upon them, while others have grown up trying to acquire these same beauty titles. "Would you rather be attractive or lovely?" If honest with themselves, most women will probably answer that they would rather be 'attractive'. More modest women, after some thought, may chime in reply, 'lovely'. Even though lovely seems to be condescending. Most married women would rather hear, "You are attractive to me" from their husbands than, "You are lovely." Why? Because society has managed to debunk the truth that true beauty is really what emanates from the inside. 27
It may seem as though I am mainly talking about the secular world, but this is not the case. The "Christian" world is not far behind nor exempt. In today’s world, being attractive even in Christian circles, is it! If you don’t believe me, take a look at how much time and money is spent on clothes, makeup, hair, nails, shoes (even if you shop at bargain and discount stores), and the advertisements to market the above. Church bulletins after church bulletins are full of advertisements promoting fashion shows, beauty pageants and even clubs that are geared towards creating trendy girls and women. Truth be told, the majority of these campaigns push sexy or trendy. So you may not be caught up in the too-little dress and skinny jeans fad. In fact, you belong to the Modest Dress Movement, but how much time (looking on Youtube at Monifah’s channel or at Linda’s website), and yes money, do you spend in your quest to acheive a modest look? What is your motivation? Is it to
be attractive? Are you looking for the attention of others? Then the apple is not too far from the tree of beauty and ugly. Of this sad state of affairs the Bible says, "which glory in appearance, and not in heart" (2 Cor. 5:12). Do not misunderstand me, I am not stating that godly women are to look like they need special charity, smell awful or look like they dress in the same clothes they sleep in. Far from that! Godly women should represent Him whom they serve: Christ, who is attractive enough. It is said of Him, "If I be lifted up... [I] will draw all men" (Jn. 12:32). The drawing is an act of attraction.
Attractive or Lovely? Beauty, or should I say true beauty, has its origins and roots in God. Look at how it is described in this passage: “The divine beauty of the character of Christ, of whom the noblest and most gentle among men are but a faint reflection; of whom Solomon by the Spirit of inspiration wrote, He is ‘the chiefest among ten thousand, … yea, He is altogether lovely’ (Song of Sol. 5:10-16); of whom David, seeing Him in prophetic vision, said, ‘Thou art fairer than the children of men’ (Ps.45:2); Jesus, the express image of the Father's person, the effulgence of His glory; the selfdenying Redeemer, throughout His pilgrimage of love on earth, was a living representation of the character of the law of God.”1 That is beauty explained in human language. The Scriptures also say of David that he desired to dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of his life so as "to behold the beauty of the Lord" (Ps. 27:4). The beauty
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of God is wonderfully woven throughout Holy Writ. It is a fact brought out over and over; He is glorious within and without. In the prayer of Moses, we have the petition, “Let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us" (Ps. 90:17). This was a prayer that the divine beauty might shine in the suppliants lives; in their faces and in their everyday tasks. God's beauty is seen in the glory that envelops those whom He favors. For instance, the face of Moses when he came down from the mountain after communing forty days with God. He had been so long wrapped in the divine glory that his very body was, as it were, saturated with the brightness of divinity. We may also think of Stephen, the moments before his martyrdom, when a window of heaven was opened and a ray of the glory from the Most Holy Place fell upon him, so irradiating his features that he seemed, even to his enemies, like an angel. These ordinary greats, had so wrapped themselves up with God that His character was revealed in mortal clay. The scripture rings true in these two instances that "[o]ut of Zion, the perfection of beauty, God hath shined" (Ps. 50:2). There is a movement that is out to topple the metropolitan tower of beauty–a tower composed of "my clothes, my makeup or makeover, hair (homegrown or bought), curves, legs, hips, eyes, teeth" –where externals are emphasized. However this movement, is another ditch in which one may fall because its emphasis, albeit intrinsic to some extent, are still based on one’s own efforts and perception: I am intelligent, I am smart, I am witty, I am this and
that. Both camps are caught in a mire of sinking muck, of self indulgence.
ters, aunts, grandmas · Become content and pleasing daughters of God.
There is a beauty of soul which Have you not noticed in reading makes the plainest face radiant your Bible that most mentions and the homeliest features lovely; of God's or Christ's beauty are which shines like a star in this qualities or characteristics about world of sin. For this beauty we them? That very few passages are to pray, “Let the beauty of the are dedicated to what they look Lord our God be upon us.” This like (externally) is proof enough beauty is not one which fades that beauty is reflection of those when sickness attacks the body, qualities that stem from a heart is lost by the withering touch of filled with Heaven’s goodness. years, or blanches when death’s This then, my sisters, is True cold fingers overspreads its fea- Beauty–the beauty of character. tures. This beauty grows lovelier in pain or suffering, shines What does God call you? out in sorrow like a star in the night, forms a different kind of God says this of you daughter As we behold Him steadfastly, and wrinkle and causes a husband or of Zion, "My beloved spake, and continuously, then shall we be like child to rise up and call her, who said unto me, Rise up, my love, Him who is love, and we too shall clothes herself in it, blessed. my fair one, and come away” be "all" together lovely as He is. In (Song of Sol. 2:10). Come away that Love of all loves is an eternal It is a loveliness that has a deep from the false schools of thought approaching unto; to sum it up in in attraction, for it is the loveliness regarding beauty; come away on word, it is an attraction. of Christ! God is beautiful! If we from hidden pride (pride of modmay describe Him as such with esty); come away from beauty Take home: our feeble human language. as defined by the schools of And yet, the human understand- the sons of men. Come to Zion Let us remember that "beauty is ing of beauty is not sufficient to where perfection of beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the describe Him because beauty to be found. "Out of Zion, the Lord, she shall be praised" (Prov. is Him. He defines and gives life perfection of beauty, God hath 31:30). Loveliness births attraction and meaning to beauty. There shined" (Ps. 50:2). and Christ is the great center of is then nothing beautiful outattraction. In being lovely, we ARE side of Him. Have you not seen “Rest yourself wholly in the hands attractive. some individuals with what may of Jesus. Contemplate His great be considered not so attractive love, and while you meditate And finally here is a beautiful faces to whom you have found upon His self-denial, His infinite bonus for us: He was (and is) the yourself being drawn, and even sacrifice made in our behalf in desire of all nations, if you have desiring their association? order that we should believe Him, you shall be the desire of your in Him, your heart will be filled husbands. That is true beauty! The sooner with holy joy, calm peace, and God's daughters understand indescribable love. As we talk What shall they call you? this, the less stressful their lives of Jesus, as we call upon Him in Lovely. will be. They will: prayer, our confidence that He “Let the beauty of the Lord our God · Stop spending what they do is our personal, loving Saviour be upon us!” (Ps. 90:17). not have and is not even theirs will strengthen, and His characto spend, ter will appear more and more 1. Ellen G. White, Thoughts from the Mount of · Stop competing with Belial's lovely... His Spirit makes us Blessings (Mountain View, CA: Pacific Press daughters (See Dt. 13:13 and 1 like Jesus Christ in temper, and Publishing Assn.,1896),49. Sam. 1:12-16), disposition, and we represent · Make better friends, Christ to others.”2 2 Ellen G. White, Sons and Daughters of · Be better spouses, mothers, sisGod (Washington, D.C.: Review and Herald Publishing Assn., 1955) 311
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30 Lilies in the City - February 2015
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