Prose of Life

Page 1

Lim Kim Tong

Prose of Life



Foreword I live through moments with feelings. Feelings that I wanted to write short verses to capture the moment. Wait a day later, the writing became less authentic. That moment was lost. Instead of writing passages, writing short verses forming a prose suits me better. It does not have to follow grammatical rules of a proper essay writing. I tried to follow some form of structure such as fixed number of lines in a stanza. Prose of Life is a collection of life moments I experienced. It has five themes. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

On Ageing Covid-19 Behaviour Nature Life

This year has been a year of high emotions. Covid-19 coronavirus pandemic disrupted our lives that we were accustomed to. I wrote more in Theme 2: Covid-19. They were depressing as I described my moods in the writing. Other than that, the other themes are more normal. Hope you would enjoy this collection. By Lim Kim Tong 20 November 2020

Copyright Š 2020, limkimtong All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the copyright owner.


Theme 1: On Ageing The Older I Get The older I get I begin to appreciate my older brother better Let past dislike of him go I enjoy him better The older I get I receive a song on growing old with dementia If I forget my name Please hold my hand The older I get I find love in friendships True friends come forth Make my days worth living The older I get I have more problems with my health Like an overused machine Breaking down one by one The older I get I require less luxurious life Glamour and fame Fall by the wayside The older I get I become more sentimental Photographs of younger days Become my companion The older I get I begin to document my past Stories to tell, snippets of life experiences Worth recalling The older I get I remember less of hurt from past It is insignificant To spend energy on The older I get I embrace religion more Mental comfort To live out remaining days The older I get I get closer to the ones I love The accidental touch, the quick look, the tone Express so much

Theme 1: On Ageing Page 1 


When I am Old When I am old I am closer to death Death becomes real Real fear starts When I am old I thought I am still young Young to behave as one One who knows no limit When I am old I knock into things Things that I do not notice Notice I am clumsy When I am old I cannot hold my balance well Well it is the knees Knees creak with age When I am old I go to toilet more often Often at night Night without light is danger When I am old I start eating less Less results in weight loss Loss of strength When I am old I know my time is running short Short of what I want to achieve Achieve calm at the end

Theme 1: On Ageing Page 2


Human Frailty You thought you are a super human being, the tiny flu bug can bring you down. You thought your stomach could take in all kinds of food, the unhygienic food can cause serious diarrhoea. You thought you could dash for a bus, your heart will beat so fast on catching it. You thought you could run up or down the stairs, your knees could give way easily. You thought you could clean the house thoroughly, your arms will ache afterwards. You thought you could sleep late at night, you will then try to catch up on sleep in the day. You thought that you would least be affected by certain ailment, you found out that you had this age-related eye disease. Such is the frailty of human life.

Theme 1: On Ageing Page 3


When I Am Alone When I am alone, I find the hours long What am I to do? I cannot be just reading I feel emptiness I within the walls I do not have to account how I spend my time I feel guilt of not doing something purposeful I lie on the couch Feeling lethargic I miss the chatter I miss your presence I miss doing things together going to places together Is this how it will be like when I am old and alone?

Theme 1: On Ageing Page 4


Life Partner When I get older I appreciate my better half even more She has been a constant in changing times When I get older We can take each other for granted She complements me To make a whole When I get older Though not without a mood She knows me well enough to smoothen the edges When I get older We get to be alone more often She is a companion to pass the day When I get older I lean more to religious pursuits She demonstrates I can do more When I get older I begin to have poor memory She is my recall support Better memory than mine

Theme 1: On Ageing Page 5


Theme 2: Covid-19 2020 This is November Two months to end of 2020 For most part I do not know you You are not like the past The world quivered From invisible threat of Covid I live with anxieties Any celebratory mood Fade away As you draw to a close I miss the delightful anticipation You have a hold on us A dampener of spirit Social interactions is reduced I am subdued You are not forever It has to come to an end Human beings are not broken I shall move on

Theme 2: Covid-19 Page 6


Mind matters It has been a period of mental stress Covid-19 cases resurgence Personal health concerns The ugliness of US politics No ends in sight Global economies battled Financial assets dwindled Trying to keep afloat Reduced social interactions Adding to the woes Usual activities put on hold There is no release from stress Our mind is bombarded With negativities With less hope For a quick release No wonder one feels sad In this environment The daily slew of bad news Did not help

Theme 2: Covid-19 Page 7 


Covid-19 taught me Human life is fragile. We could die from Covid-19. Skin colour, religion and age do not matter. Covid-19 does not discriminate. Some people can be selfish. They do not care for others. Some people are selfless. They help others to cope with Covid-19. Political leaders are of two types. One who cares for lives and one does not. Rich and poor are poles apart. Poor living conditions increases infection rate. Not all people follow rules. Some people do not wear masks properly. People react differently. Some withdraw while some get on with lives. When people are tolerant it helps.
 It can alleviate anxieties among others.

Theme 2: Covid-19 Page 8 


How are you coping? We have not met for a while How are you? How long was it? Several months already … We still keeping our distance How is your health? Are you eating well? Emotional up and down … I dare not ask How is your work? Do you still have your job? Bad job market … I will not ask How are your finances? Are your investments doing well? Too many sad stories … We have a common enemy When will Covid-19 end? When can we have our freedom? To breathe freely … We had to vote in the election Can you feel the frustrations? Have you seen this WhatsApp post? More anger then balm … I would like to ask When can we meet again? For lunch or tea? To keep our relationship intact …

Theme 2: Covid-19 Page 9


This Pandemic is not going away This pandemic is not going away People are concerned Some businesses have collapsed This pandemic is not going away People are worried Jobs are not secure This pandemic is not going away People are frightened Death occurs for some This pandemic is not going away People are anxious Community infection continuing unabated This pandemic is not going away People are downcast Social distancing is still in place This pandemic is not going away People are delusional No one is immune to Covid-19 This pandemic is not going away People are angry Not all are following health guidelines This pandemic is not going away People are apprehensive Digital way of life is not for all

Theme 2: Covid-19 Page 10 


Unimaginable Twenty-twenty a changed world Mighty human trying to subdue Microscopic coronavirus We are fearful as it thrives Lockdown of borders Countries and homes Social distancing becomes buzzword We are to avoid contacts Everyone wears a facemask When out and about Avoiding transportation We are to remain in neighbourhood Offices and retail malls remain quiet They either work from homes Or without work to do We will be lucky when there is pay Countries are forced to pause Economies nosedive Trillions and billions pour in We know this time is big deal Accustomed is no longer possible Cannot go back to familiar A new way of living We are to adapt

Theme 2: Covid-19 Page 11 


Sadness Do you feel this sadness? I do It creeps up on me Without realising it It got triggered When I walked pass shuttered shops people with head lowered with so much on their minds Knowing that more people Will be out of jobs With broken dreams Trying to get back to normal Then I read This single mum in Philippine Died because of Covid While waiting five days for bus ride to her home Human tragedy brings sadness To my heart Knowing that even more suffered Without any mention of their plights Do I see positivity? Suffering and grief are always with us With this human life, sadness is always present Note it and open my heart to them

Theme 2: Covid-19 Page 12 


One month of Stay-at-Home My hair got longer I read borrowed books from NLB on-line Not my preferred choice While my wife and daughter did Yoga I did Taiji in my bedroom We were careful when opening our windows The handle broke the other day You do not want happening Home repairs have to put on hold This was not the only thing broken, sigh When one of us coughed or sneezed Oh no, did we catch it Covid-19? We measured our temperatures No fever and we could smell! When I go out to buy take-away lunch Do not forget to wear a mask With the mask I feel like not talking I look down while walking Do not stare at others (or risk assault from this person) I yearn for the outdoors Missing my walk at nature reserves So I appreciate nature from my windows The beautiful sunsets and morning sunrise I become sensitive to sound of birds I go to my favourite food eateries They smile and thankful They get to cook for us We get to savour their food Food cooked with love I look forward to home-cook dinners We are eating at the table together It has become a ritual My wife cooks And I wash up Sleep another night One day just passed Restful and to refresh Put the worries aside We live another day

Theme 2: Covid-19 Page 13 


“Circuit Breaker” Lockdown Day One of “Circuit Breaker” Lockdown Most physical work places are closed Construction sites are quiet ERP ceased since yesterday Fewer cars on the roads More cars are parked at residences Stay at home, we must Da Bao food, we can Sit in dining to enjoy our food, we can’t Parents are waiting now To pick up their children from schools For the last time A new way of learning for most From home and not at school Wifi usage will hit new high Reduce contact with others is crucial To break the chain of transmission No more walking at malls If you need to go out of home Set your target destination Do it and come home For a country so used to relentless economic activities It is a wakeup call To know that we can be brought to almost standstill Today is Day One There are 27 more days after today For freedom Dated 7 April 2020 Tuesday

Theme 2: Covid-19 Page 14


Without a care in the world Our neighbourhood cats are oblivious Napping comfortably in the shade Even with people passing by What is with the stock market? When is the next customer order coming? Have I got enough to retire? Covid-19 upsets our lives Many deaths occurred We avoided people, fearful River flows and finds its way to the sea Life flows The sun rises the next morning The moment is now Live this moment No worries about what is to come Wisdom will prevail Fear has no place Live life without a care in the world

Theme 2: Covid-19 Page 15 


Theme 3: Behaviour KINDNESS K indness starts with me I ntegrated with everyday living N ot limited and targeted at certain groups D isplayed with a heart full of loving kindness N atural and not forced E mpathy is to respect receiver of kindness S erving all living things and the environment S mile turns the atmosphere cordial

Theme 3: Behaviour Page 16 


End of day After the end of day It’s time to wind down From a full day of activities Watch the sunset When it retires too From giving energy to us Have a meal at home With home-cooked dishes With the ones closest to us Take a warm shower To refreshes and to re-invigorates To wash away a day of grimes Sit on comfy couch To watch some entertainments On Television Relax with exterior darkness Beckoning us to slow down The fast pace of the day Brush our teeth Prepare the bed Lie down and sleep in comfort Body is at state of rest To reduce tensions Built up during the day With the end of day Night takes over To prepare us for the next day

Theme 3: Behaviour Page 17 


Hope We live under the same sky and yet we could not live in harmony. Fighting to preserve their own kinds throws human races into conflict. Politics and powers corrupt the minds of so-called leaders of war-torn nations. There are no rooms in their hearts to share the joys of happiness with others. We may be of different colours and faiths but we are all thinking human beings. Demeaning and setting one against another is not compassionate. Anger does not solve problems. Loving kindness can and will find a way. My heart goes to those who are oppressed by others. Will the day comes when we all live happily under the same sky? Can we?

Theme 3: Behaviour Page 18 


Theme 4: Nature September Rain What a Relief! During this period of unhealthy haze What a downpour today! The grasses, plants and trees need you most They had not seen heavy rain for a few weeks now The lashing rain with strong wind Caught us while we were walking We were wet even with our umbrellas It did not matter since we were yearning for you Knowing full well that the rain would reduce the haze The sky is clear now The blanket of haze has lifted My spirit soars with this rain Washing away the lethargy hanging around me Once again nature is kind to all living things This rain taught us to treasure it Without rain, we simply could not survive Our land will be a desert Devoid of life One missing part of the whole eco-system on Earth!

Theme 4: Nature Page 19 


Rain Earlier, heat of afternoon sun Living room darkened Anticipation of heavy rain Sound of huge rain drops hitting at windows Feeling of cool comfort Window panes misted Rain came thick Cascading down vertical walls Opposite buildings blurred Slashing sound accompanied by traffic noise Thunder roared sporadically It stops just as suddenly Sun is back Back to the heat

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Spring Spring brings hopes of a new beginning. Lunar New Year starts with celebration on the eve. Reunion dinner brings us together. Some of us have not met for a year. Good to catch up when we are one year older. Some traditions we want to keep. We grew up with them. Hongbao, Mandarin oranges, and visiting relations. We continue to hang up Chinese leek. Spring clean our home. I like the anticipation of the arrival of New Year. I will create a greeting card to send to friends. In it are my good wishes of happiness, health and prosperity. Whatever the past is the past. Leave it aside. Happiness is in the Spring. Just as the new shoots of plants. New life experience starts from this day onwards. Embrace the good and discard the bad. Live a life that we can be proud of.

Theme 4: Nature Page 21 


Mesmerizing and Calming Bird small and light Swoops in under a canopy of green leaves Perches on tree branch Constantly looking left and right up and down Flaps to next branch In search of food Chirpy chirp chirp Sweet sharp and melodious Wish it could land on my hand But it is not mine to own Wish I am that free Free as a bird

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Mountains Mighty, Majestic, Magnificent Mountains
 Snow-capped for winter, lush green for spring
 Beautiful autumn colours to behold Clouds love to caress mountains so high
 Imaginative people try to see forms and shapes
 Give names like jade dragon snow mountain Artists love to paint mountains
 Whether Chinese ink, oil, acrylics or water colours
 The result is equally beautiful Mountaineers love to climb mountains
 To reach the peaks of higher and higher mountains.
 Where the air is thin for the adrenalin flow Stand-alone or mountain ranges
 With its valleys and dense trees
 Left me enthralled

Theme 4: Nature Page 23


The Boardwalk of MacRitchie Walking, left right left right
 Purposeful, mindfully
 Along calm water edge Rain forest on the right
 Colours of green and brown
 Natural, not arranged Cool even with morning sun
 For most parts shady walk
 Some parts bright and sunny Birds singing far distance
 Sounds of monkeys distinct
 Voices drift in and out Perspiring at the end
 A change of clothes needed
 But good for health and mind

Theme 4: Nature Page 24


Theme 5: Life Subtle Love Love needs not be showy Love touches each other in a subtle way A gentle touch, a quick glance at your eyes express a message of I care We share an umbrella with you at my side Staying a step behind on the up-escalator Allow for proximity to share an intimate space reduce the distance between us As we grow older and familiar with each other We change in our physical appearances Our quirks and flaws on full display accept each other as the real us Occasional disagreements happened Temper and frustration are natural We watched these to subdue let negative feelings pass We cared even more when one was sick Reminded each other about unhealthy food Took more walks to count the steps stay healthy for the sake of the other

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If only life can speak to you Slow down Keep pace with each moment Life is a not a race Be fully aware with what you are doing Do you know what is happening at this present moment? Life is ups and downs It is not permanent One time you are over the moon Another time you are disturbed by unhappy thoughts Do you know the unsatisfactoriness of living? Actions create results Bad actions beget bad results Good actions beget good results Every action of body and inner thought will ripen in the future Do you know that now is the most important time? Compassion brings happiness All living beings need your compassion They fear death and want happiness like you Be kind to all even to somebody you dislike Do you know what you can do to offer compassion? Let go Negative emotions cloud your mind It affects your health and a hindrance It serves no useful purpose except that it disturbs your mindfulness Do you know that you have to work at it constantly?

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Feeling inside me When I took a step behind you in a moving up escalator You were close We grow to know each other Feeling close proximity with you at up escalator just one step behind Always accepting me for flaws and who I am Protect you from harm Growing old together Still see beauty in you I can be who I am No acting Not concerned about balding Appreciating you

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Father There is no me without a father The time I know the world he is there I watch him ride away each morning Sun shining or raining To pick up passengers or transport goods The only way he could Through his sweat and labour In order to put food on table He returned late afternoon daily Cooking dinner quietly With ingredients he bought cheaply He was there and yet not there Heart to heart talk with him was rare We grew more distant as I grew older Not for lack of love for each other But lack of topics to talk together Final days he grew old and frail He was quieter as ever Confined to bed and wheel chair Once independent he relied on us to care I was not good at it with chores left to maid What is left is just thoughts of past Of my father I had The one who I called Ah Pa.

Theme 5: Life Page 28


 

Prose of Life: Life awaits Journey to treasure Walk with someone you love



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