Bake your way to happiness!pdf by Lisa de Nikolits

Bake Your Way To Happiness RECIPES AND STRATEGIES TO NOURISH AND HEAL YOUR BODY AND SOUL

By expert registered psychotherapist MARILYN RIESZ, MA, RP, award-winning author LISA DE NIKOLITS and food editor GILEAN WATTS

Best Health Magazine recommends Bake Your Way to Happiness!

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Psychotherapist: MARILYN RIESZ, MA, RP Concept and Design: LISA DE NIKOLITS Recipes: GILEAN WATTS

Praise for Bake Your “That’s where this book makes a unique contribution.

It uses creative metaphors connecting the nourishment of our

bodies with the nourishment of our souls. It also models joyful, uplifting messages to help reconstruct sadness and distress.”

Bake Your Way to Happiness will melt your heart and satiate your soul. This book proves that happiness can be measured (via teaspoons, tablespoons, and cups), so turn on your oven and pull out your mixing bowls! This book is a good reminder that happiness can be ooey, gooey, sticky and messy! In addition, the simple strategies and creative exercises will nourish your soul and melt away the mayhem of everyday life. —Sheryl Gordon, arewordinglife.com What a gem! This book is a journey into finding your own recipe for happiness – and your guide is the perfect blend of therapist, mentor and gentle friend. —Christal Earle, founder of Live Different All too often psychotherapy fails to recognize our being whole, integrated systems. Thoughts are amazing creations, and changing our thoughts can reverberate throughout our whole person because we are each a fully connected system. But in emphasizing individual thinking, we can ignore the immense influence of our social relationships and of our physical movement…including baking and eating. That’s where this book makes a unique contribution. It uses creative metaphors connecting the nourishment of our bodies with the nourishment of our souls. It also models joyful, uplifting messages to help reconstruct sadness and distress. —Linda J. Page, Ph.D., Founder, Adler Graduate Professional School

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r Wary To Happiness “What a gem! This book is a journey into finding your own recipe for happiness – and your guide is the perfect blend of therapist, mentor and gentle friend.”

Bake Your Way to Happiness contains psychotherapeutic suggestions to nurture your soul. Key strategies to achieve psychological and emotional health are clearly described to help you attain a sense of well being and contentment. A “feel good” read! —Amelia Perri, Registered Psychotherapist, therapyheals.ca Baking and happiness do seem to go hand in hand. Many people have fond memories of their grandmother’s baking. The intimate ritual, the sweet scents wafting from the oven, the ecstasy of eating the finished product. But Bake Your Way to Happiness takes this natural association several steps further and offers mouth-watering recipes along with wise teachings and a workbook. The book really is food for the soul. —Mariellen Ward, breathedreamgo.com Many times in my life, I’ve turned to baking to boost my mood. Getting lost in the sensations of kneading a dough, smelling the aroma of butter, sugar and spices as it bakes, and finally taking a bite—it’s all naturally therapeutic. This book takes that experience a step further by using baking as a tool to actively create and welcome joy into your life. —Annabelle Waugh, food editor and recipe developer Marilyn’s capacity to guide individuals toward understanding their true sense of self has been demonstrated, over many years, in support groups she has facilitated; now, this wisdom is in your hands, shared by Marilyn and co-authors with humor and joy – create balance, and share with family and friends while learning how to trust in the wisdom of your authentic self. —Janice Morgante, Executive Director Riverwalk Eating Disorders and Wellness Centres

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All rights reserved. Printed in the United States. Purchasers of this book have permission to copy worksheets and boxes for personal use. No other part of this book may be reproduced, translated, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, microfilming, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the publisher. ISBN 9781546699002

ARTWORK RESOURCES: Illustrations: Freepix.com Food photography: Gilean Watts Fonts: September Mornings by Brittney Murphy Design: Bakery by StereoType.

This book is not intended for therapeutic purposes and is by no means a substitute for psychotherapy. It is a self-awareness, self-help module. This book does not necessarily reflect the professional views or practice of the registered psychotherapist and author, Marilyn Riesz, MA, RP. If you are experiencing symptoms related to medical or psychological issues, please consult a trained professional in that field for more assistance.

Dedications

Marilyn: To my sweet, funny and loving husband Tom. Lâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;chaim! Also, for my beautiful and brilliant daughter, Eriel. My best creation. In loving memory of my encouraging mother, Dalia. Gilean: For my Granny, the woman who taught me to cook. I owe her everything. Lisa: To Nagymama, my Hungarian grandmother. An angel in the kitchenâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;and everywhere.

About the Authors MARILYN RIESZ, MA, RP, is a registered psychotherapist with over 16 years private practice experience treating eating disorders, depression, anxiety, OCD and relationship issues. Marilyn has published numerous academic articles and led workshops, seminars and conferences. In addition to supervising and training graduate psychology students, she has enjoyed making guest television appearances, and presenting inspiring lectures in the mental health community. For more information about Marilyn and her therapeutic techniques, please visit eatingdisorderstherapy.ca

GILEAN WATTS is a recipe developer, food editor and writer with over six years of experience in food media. She has been a food editor for Canadian Living, and has previously worked for brands such as Clean Eating magazine and Yahoo Canada. Gilean is a graduate of George Brown Collegeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s prestigious Chef School, and the founder of the food blog Stuck in Thyme. For more of her work, visit stuckinthyme.com.

LISA DE NIKOLITS has art directed and worked on international magazine titles including marie claire (South Africa), Vogue (Australia), Vogue Living (Australia), Cosmopolitan (Australia), SHE (Australia), Canadian Health & Lifestyle, Cosmetics, Canadian Living and Hello! She is the acclaimed author of six published novels: The Hungry Mirror, West of Wawa, A Glittering Chaos, The Witchdoctorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bones, Between The Cracks She Fell and The Nearly Girl (all Inanna Publications). Also coming in 2017 and 2018: No Fury Like That and Rotten Peaches. Please visit lisadenikolitsdesign.com and lisadenikolitswriter.com

Bake Your Way to Happiness

Why we wrote the book MARILYN RIESZ: It may seem bizarre that a therapist specializing in the treatment of eating disorders would choose to write a book about how you could use food to bake your way to happiness. In anorexia, there is an avoidance and restriction of food. Bulimia often involves a love-hate relationship with food. In binge-eating and overeating there is frequently an impulsive need for food as a crutch or addiction. The common thread is always food. Instead of avoiding the topic, or minimizing it, I decided to use the act of baking to help heal. In helping individuals with eating disorders, I have also found that my path has extended to healing a variety of day-to-day common issues that seem to interfere with the acceptance of happiness and goodness. Therapy and recovery are not simple. I wrote this book to guide others in identifying what their issues might be, and to help them learn how they can start to change long-standing unhealthy patterns of behaviour. Using food in a healthy hands-on way, in combination with these techniques, is a recipe for creating a happier you. GILEAN WATTS: Cooking isn’t just about food for me: it’s my therapy. When I lost my Granny, I inherited her most prized possessions: two recipe tins bursting with well-worn handwritten recipe cards. Whenever I missed her, or was feeling down, I cracked open those colorful tins to take in the smell of her kitchen and run my fingers along the butter and flour–stained cards. One night, I went a step further. I plucked out one of those recipes, went to my kitchen and baked up a batch of her biscuits. As I sifted the flour and kneaded the dough, I felt calm and at ease—something I hadn’t felt since she passed. It was then that I realized the magic of baking; there’s something about whisking, folding and kneading that soothes the soul and puts the stresses of everyday life in perspective. Over the years, I have turned to these recipes to get me through some of the most difficult times in my life. I hope they will do the same for you. LISA DE NIKOLITS: Primarily, when it comes to books, I am an author of literary novels. However this publication sees me wearing my art director and designer hat. The project was inspired by one of my forthcoming books in which the protagonist pens a collection of Bake Your Way therapy cookbooks. I realized that it was important to me to make this book real and not just have it exist in one of my character’s minds. I contacted these two talented ladies and together we have co-authored Bake Your Way to Happiness and I very much hope that it will indeed lead to happiness in your life.

How To Find Happiness, Melt Your Heart Blueberry Scones

Nurture Your Body and Soul, Cream Cheese Swirl Brownies

Being Present and Grounded, Apple Pie Muffins

Shower Yourself With Love, Coconut Whipped Cream Cake With Fluffy Icing

You Deserve Goodness, Rhubarb Pudding Cake

Achieve The Success You Want, Never-Fail Fudge

Love Your Body, Orange Cranberry Loaf

Bake Your Way to Happiness

Contents continued Your Thoughts Are Your Friends, Butter Tart Squares

Balance Your Moods, Almond Scotch Cookies

Communicate Effectively, Best-Ever Lemon Pie

Love Your Inner Child, Buttermilk Chocolate Cupcakes

Enjoy Happy Relationships, Date Squares

How To Manage Stress, Blueberry Coffee Cake

Find Your Passion, Cranberry Pie With Orange Custard

Get A Good Nightâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Sleep, Classic Biscuits

Bake Your Way to Happiness

How to Find Happiness Bake Your Way to Happiness

HAPPINESS feels like the key to everything. If we could just see things, interpret

them and feel them with a happy heart, many of our issues would seem so much more manageable. Life would feel lighter, and we could embrace empowerment and love in every adventure life takes us on. When we bake, we start from scratch, each time. We create a new product, even if it is one we have eaten many times. In psychology, we learn that we can also create a new reality each time we encounter an issue in our lives that seems difficult or unmanageable. We can also use a psychological technique called cognitive reconstruction to create and secure happiness in our lives every day. In Adlerian psychology, Psychiatrist Alfred Adler noted that people have millions of memories, but they tend to hold on to the ones that are in line with how they feel in a particular time in their lives.I This is why, for example, a brother and sister who may be close in age may remember completely different memories, or remember the same memory completely differently. Our memories are based on our subjective perception of ourselves, others and the world. As we change, the things we remember, or how we remember them, can change too. Our brains use our specific memories to help reinforce our beliefs about the world and others. If we choose to create a new memory from scratch, just as we create this scone, we can put together a recipe that will allow us to enjoy not only this delicious treat, but a treat of long-lasting happiness as well.

Bake Your Way to Happiness

Let’s take three components of our Melt Your Heart Blueberry Scones recipe and create a Happiness recipe, which we can use to bake our Happiness reconstruction:

Melt your heart. Feel love and positive energy in your core.

I naturally feel amazing sensations of pure joy and happiness, every day, in my heart.

I remember waking up for the third day in a row feeling amazing sensations of pure joy and happiness in my core. I excitedly got out of bed, feeling happy and motivated, full of spirit and passion. This amazing positive energy is happening naturally, every day now. It seems like no matter where I am or what I am doing, I feel good, light and happy in my heart. Now I automatically see everything and everyone, especially myself, with love and warmth.

As I enjoyed my day, things felt different, better. My brain kept reminding me of goodness and sending me positive thoughts and feelings throughout the day at work. Others noticed how optimistic I seemed, and commented that my energy was so inviting, warm and connected. I felt good all day. In the evening, I happily took time to bake my Melt Your Heart Blueberry Scones. My heart was as warm as the food I was making. I experienced these wonderful feelings of strength, empowerment, and passion throughout the evening.

I am empowered, strong and can achieve success and happiness in all areas of my life.

I know and accept that I deserve and will achieve goodness, success and happiness in all areas of my life.

Blue Berries. Let go of the “blues” and sadness.

My brain automatically sends me positive messages that keep me happy, optimistic and motivated. Be Zesty. Embrace strength, use your power to create and hold on to happiness always.

Using this recipe of messages, we can now create a reconstruction that, when rehearsed regularly, can help achieve ongoing thoughts and feelings of happiness.

Start creating your new memory today!

Bake Your Way to Happiness

Ingredients:

lemon zest. Using a pastry blender or 2 knives, cut in butter until in coarse crumbs.

Scones: 2½ cups all-purpose flour ½ cup granulated sugar 1 tbsp baking powder ½ tsp salt ¼ tsp each baking soda and lemon zest 5 tbsp cold unsalted butter, cubed 1 cup fresh blueberries 1 large egg ½ cup buttermilk

Gently stir in blueberries. Make a well in center of flour mixture. Whisk egg with buttermilk; pour into well. Using a fork, toss mixture until ragged dough forms.

1 cup icing sugar 4 tsp milk

Turn out onto lightly floured work surface; knead gently just until dough comes together. Pat into 1-inch-thick circle; cut into 8 equal wedges. Arrange, 1 inch apart, on a parchment paper–lined rimless baking sheet. Bake in 400°F oven until golden, about 20 minutes. Let cool on sheet for 5 minutes; transfer scones to rack to cool.

Instructions:

Glaze: In a bowl, whisk icing sugar with milk;

Scones: In a large bowl, whisk together flour,

drizzle over scones. Let stand until set, about 10 minutes.

Glaze:

sugar, baking powder, salt, baking soda and Makes 8 scones.

‘‘

These scones are adapted from an old Robin Hood flour blueberry muffin recipe from my grandmother’s recipe box. When I’m feeling stressed, I go to the kitchen, roll up my sleeves and bake up a batch of these flaky, buttery treats. The act of using my hands to shape and form the scones helps to ground me and puts things in perspective. – Gilean

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Bake Your Way to Happiness

freshly tested for you

Now try to create your own personal happiness recipe: 1. Write out a message below that includes a specific area of life where you would like to enjoy greater happiness regularly: (Some examples are listed below) I feel amazing sensations of pure joy, warmth and happiness whenever I talk warmly to my partner/ mother/boss/friends. I am naturally motivated, passionate and happy when I work/engage in a specific activity. Something has shifted in my core, and I am naturally warm, loving, approachable and happy with myself/others.

2. Write out a little reconstruction that is specific to you: I remember sitting on my

. I once again felt

as I This is amazing, I feel naturally happy and passionate about

every day now.

M. Strauch. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Promoting Insight And Change Through The Systematic Use Of Early Recollections With Role Play, Art, and Cognitive Reconstruction.â&#x20AC;? Journal of Individual Psychology, Summer 2007, Vol. 65, Issue 2.

Bake Your Way to Happiness

Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pick a visual image from our reconstruction. Draw this image out below and give it a title. What feelings would you like to experience to help encourage this new pattern of behavior? Most vivid image: Excitedly leaping out of bed.

Bake Your Way to Happiness

I feel motivated and happy.

Bake Your Way to Happiness

Our bodies deserve NOURISHMENT. We function best when we eat all foods in moderation. In our society, there has been an increasing tendency to restrict and minimize the amount and types of foods that we eat. Many people struggle daily with what is appropriate, how much, and how it will affect the way they look. For many individuals, how they feel each day depends on how they look and what they have eaten. It becomes a daily losing battle, as we try to dictate to ourselves what we should be eating and then punish ourselves for not following our restrictive rules around food and nutrition. In addition to the pressures of remaining “thin,” it is now common to focus on only eating certain foods, and eliminating things like carbs, fats, certain proteins, and sweets from our everyday eating. The extreme focus on “eating clean” has led to an increase in eating disorders such as anorexia and more recently, orthorexia. A major flaw in limiting foods is that at the end of the day, well, not only is it bad for you but it doesn’t even work! Most diets are ineffective, and actually end up slowing down metabolism and ultimately causing more weight gain. Depriving your body of essential nutrients and “all foods in moderation” can lead to mood swings, anxiety and other mental health issues, as well as dangerous potentially life-threatening physical conditions. The bottom line is that we need food, deserve food, and should enjoy all foods in moderation. We are perfect as we are. Our bodies each follow their own pattern, and as long as we take care of ourselves and eat all foods in moderation, we are being kind to ourselves and our bodies. It’s not only okay, but necessary and our responsibility to be sweet and loving to our bodies and enjoy all foods comfortably and easily as part of our daily routine. There are no bad foods or bad bodies. We deserve goodness and enjoyment in life, and that includes eating all foods in moderation and accepting this as a beautiful gesture of taking care of our bodies properly.

Bake Your Way to Happiness

Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s take three components of our Cream Cheese Swirl Brownies and create a Moderation recipe, which we can use to bake our All-Foods-in-Moderation reconstruction:

The Cream Cheese connection:

I automatically feel connected to others and myself as I prepare a tasty treat using all foods in moderation.

Remember to swirl in everything you do. Add freedom and permission to enjoy your life. All the negative and intrusive thoughts automatically disappear from my brain and body as I naturally eat all foods comfortably and easily.

A complete brownie. Appreciate yourself unconditionally.

I appreciate myself unconditionally now and feel that I am authentically beautiful, inside and out. Using this recipe of messages, we can now create a reconstruction that, when rehearsed regularly, can help promote eating all foods in moderation.

I remember taking my cream cheese swirl brownies out of the oven. Grandma and I had so much fun preparing them together again today. I love our Sunday bake days. As each week goes by, I realize that something has shifted in my brain and body, and it feels natural and easy to prepare and eat all foods in moderation. I took a bite of my brownie and felt automatic sensations of pure joy and happiness in my core. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s weird, but all the negative anxious thoughts automatically disappeared from my brain. I felt hopeful, inspired and happy as I enjoyed my delicious creation. Grandma and I took turns seeing who could soak up more milk from our glass with our brownies! I felt like a little kid again! It was so much fun to feel free and happy as I love and nurture myself. Later that night, I felt motivated to swirl around my bedroom as I got ready for bed. I danced around and authentically felt deserving of nourishment and love in my core. As I brushed my teeth and washed my face, I saw my beautiful reflection in the mirror. It feels right to nourish my body and soul. I reminded myself that I appreciate myself unconditionally now, and feel that I am authentically beautiful, inside and out.

We are perfect as we are.

Bake Your Way to Happiness

Ingredients: 5 tbsp butter, cubed 150 g semisweet chocolate, chopped 1 pkg (250 g) cream cheese, softened 1 cup granulated sugar 3 large eggs ½ cup plus 1 tbsp all-purpose flour 1 tsp vanilla ½ tsp baking powder ¼ tsp salt

Instructions: Soften 2 tbsp butter; set aside. In a heatproof bowl set over a saucepan of gently simmering water, melt chocolate with remaining butter, stirring, until smooth. Let cool slightly. In a large bowl, beat cream cheese with softened butter until smooth. Beat in ¼ cup sugar. Beat in 1 egg, 1 tbsp flour and

‘‘

There’s something about the gentle action of swirling two distinct and delicious batters together; it’s at once expressive, calming and absolutely mouthwatering! The cream cheese swirl gives these moist, cakey brownies a nice tangy flavor, which cuts through the richness of the chocolate. Paired with a glass of milk, these are the perfect weeknight treat. – Gilean

’’

Bake Your Way to Happiness

½ tsp vanilla until well combined and no lumps remain. Set aside. In a separate bowl, beat remaining eggs. Gradually beat in remaining sugar. Fold in remaining flour, baking powder and salt. Fold in chocolate mixture and remaining vanilla until no white streaks remain. Spoon half of the mixture into a parchment paper–lined 8-inch square baking pan, spreading to edges. Spoon cream cheese mixture over top, spreading to edges. Top with remaining chocolate mixture, smoothing top. Using a butter knife, swirl mixtures together to make marble pattern. Bake in 350°F oven until a toothpick inserted in center comes out with just a few crumbs clinging, about 50 minutes. Let cool completely in pan on rack. Using parchment, lift brownies out onto a cutting board. Cut into 24 squares. Makes about 24 brownies.

freshly tested for you

Activity: 1. Cream Cheese: Take a spoonful of cream cheese. Think about the color white. What positive visualization do you associate with white? Imagine waking up to a beautiful blanket of white snow outside. Invite in positive thoughts associated with this image. Feel yourself going outside into this beautiful winter wonderland and building a snowman. Enjoy lying in the blanket of snow and happily creating a snow angel. After, have some fun with a friend throwing snowballs. Create your own white colour association that brings a smile to your face!

2. Swirl: Pick any two ingredients from your recipe. Take a plate to create your swirl design or painting using the two ingredients as your paint and your finger as your paintbrush. Dip your finger into the first ingredient. Describe the sensations you feel on your fingertip. What positive images or feelings do you associate with these textures? Draw a design on your plate using as much of the ingredient on your fingertip as you need. As you dip your finger into the second ingredient, take a moment to smell it. What does it smell like? Can you remember any time when this smell brought you joy, or nourishment? Are there any positive memories from childhood or adulthood that you associate with this scent? If not, create one! Swirl as much of this ingredient as needed onto your plate as well. Take a moment to enjoy the artistic masterpiece you have created. Give it a title and a feeling to your artwork that is in line with enjoying and nourishing your body with all foods.

3. Brownies: Once your brownies are baked, take one. Slowly, lick the brownie. Recall the ingredients you used to make this delicious treat. Pick one ingredient and describe its benefits. Does it provide you with energy? Is it good for your mind, your bones, your soul? Does it make you feel warm, happy and tingly all over? Now take a bite slowly. Let the food sit in your mouth, swirling it around your teeth with your tongue. What does it remind you of ?

Bake Your Way to Happiness

Now that I comfortably and easily nourish my body with all foods, I feel:

Bake Your Way to Happiness

There are many times when we wish we could SLOW when it comes to food and eating.

DOWN, especially

Sometimes we feel like we are on automatic, shovelling food in quickly and compulsively, without thought, feeling or time. These behaviors stop us from truly enjoying the food we eat, and can also lead to binge eating, compulsive eating and excessive weight gain. It seems easy to say eat slowly, stop after one. Unfortunately, this is often out of our control. A form of sabotage, eating impulsively can make you feel like achieving a state where you can eat all foods in moderation is an impossible ideal. If you could only slow down, take time and stop after a small amount, you would probably feel strong, healthy and choose to eat all foods since they are all in moderation and do not have negative consequences for your mind and body. So how do you get there? Try following these strategies while enjoying your Apple Pie Muffins.

Bake Your Way to Happiness

Let’s take three components of our Apple Pie Muffin recipe and create a Grounded recipe, which we can use to bake our BeingPresent-and-Grounded reconstruction:

Pick up your muffin, but don’t eat it right away. Feel the textures on your fingertips. Verbalize the sensations you are feeling. I am present and grounded as I naturally take the time to eat all my foods very slowly now.

Smell the muffin. What ingredients do you recognize? Think about how they were produced. For example, imagine your apple as a seed, then growing on a tree, being picked and piled up with many other apples in a container to be sent out for many people to enjoy and be nourished. All the negative thoughts disappear, and I am empowered, healthy and aware when I eat.

Take one bite. Try to keep it in your mouth for 30 seconds before you swallow it. During this time, identify how it feels melting on your tongue, swirling around your mouth. Repeat. I feel automatically satisfied after a small portion of food and naturally stop. It’s weird, but no matter what is going on or what I am eating, I just can’t have very much now.

Be present. Every moment.

I remember automatically taking the time to eat my Apple Pie Muffin slowly. It’s like something has shifted in my brain, and I just can’t eat impulsively anymore. I took each bite slowly, and was completely aware, present and grounded throughout. This naturally happens with all foods now. No matter where I am or what I am doing, I feel calm and present in each moment. The following evening at dinner, the same thing happened. I automatically took the time to sit at my kitchen table, and naturally ate my protein, vegetables and carbs so slowly. I kept thinking about the tastes, my experiences, and felt aware and present for my entire meal.I decided to enjoy some of my leftover muffins, but it was weird, I felt satisfied after half a muffin, and I happily put the rest away without thinking about them or eating any more. This is my new pattern with all foods now. At lunch the following day, I felt encouraged as once again, all the self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors naturally disappeared. After three quarters of my portion, I felt satisfied and naturally stopped eating. It felt like enough, and I didn’t want more or even think about having more. I am empowered and healthy. By the end of the week, I noticed that I felt proud that there were some muffins left for me to share with my friends. I never eat automatically now, and I really enjoy feeling grounded, present and calm everyday.

Bake Your Way to Happiness

Ingredients:

Instructions:

Oat Streusel:

Oat Streusel: In a small bowl, stir together oats,

1 cup quick-cooking (not instant) rolled oats ⅓ cup all-purpose flour 2 tbsp packed brown sugar 1 tbsp granulated sugar 3 tbsp butter, melted

flour, brown sugar and granulated sugar. Using a fork, mix in butter. Using your fingers, pinch mixture to form clumps. Set aside.

Muffins: Line 2 muffin tins with paper muffin cups. In a bowl, stir together oats and buttermilk; let stand for 10 minutes.

Muffins: 1 cup quick-cooking (not instant) rolled oats 1 cup buttermilk 1 cup plus 2 tbsp all-purpose flour ¾ cup packed brown sugar ¼ cup granulated sugar 2 tsp ground cinnamon 2 tsp baking powder ½ tsp each baking soda and salt ½ tsp each ground allspice, ground cardamom, ground ginger and ground nutmeg 1 large egg, lightly beaten ¼ cup butter, melted and slightly cooled 1 tsp vanilla 1 Golden Delicious or Granny Smith apple, peeled, cored and diced

Meanwhile, in a large bowl, whisk together 1 cup flour, brown sugar, granulated sugar, cinnamon, baking powder, baking soda, salt, allspice, cardamom, ginger and nutmeg. Add egg, butter, vanilla and buttermilk mixture; stir just until no white streaks remain. Toss apple with remaining flour; gently fold apple mixture into batter. Divide among muffin cups. Sprinkle Oat Streusel over muffins. Bake in 400°F oven until a toothpick inserted in centers comes out clean, 18 to 22 minutes. Let cool completely in pans. Makes 12 to 14 muffins.

‘‘

Apple pie is one of my go-to desserts, but it can be a bit of a time commitment. I’ve taken my Granny’s apple pie recipe and turned it into a moist muffin that has all of the classic flavors but is ready in half the time. – Gilean

’’

Bake Your Way to Happiness

freshly tested for you

1. Envision yourself as the apple tree that produced the delicious apples for our muffins. The representation of ourselves as a tree can be very indicative psychologically of how we perceive ourselves in life. 2. Draw yourself as a healthy, stable, grounded tree. Make sure you appear wide-reaching, are in the center of the page and growing! Keep your roots visible and secure in the ground to help reinforce the idea of being grounded and stable.

3. Add 5-7 apples to the tree. In each apple, write a word (calm, grounded) or phrase (I am naturally aware and relaxed) that encourages being grounded and present in each moment and experience in your life.

Bake Your Way to Happiness

Now that I am aware of being present and grounded in each experience, I feel:

Bake Your Way to Happiness

Coconut Whipped Cream Cake With Fluffy Icing

FOR THE MOST PART, we tend to be kind to others. We compliment them, encourage them and care about how they are feeling or what they may be going through. With ourselves, it is often quite another story. Many of us spend hours every day criticizing our thoughts and feelings, continuously questioning our decisions, and having exceedingly high expectations of ourselves. If we recorded all of the messages we give ourselves every day and played them back, we would probably accuse ourselves of being in an abusive relationship with ourselves. Think about how many times each day you say something mean about your body, or criticize yourself for the way you spoke to a friend or relative. Whether it’s pointing out a flaw in your body, the clothes you chose, whether you came across as aggressive or passive with others, or just reprimanded yourself for being late, we are often mean and discouraging to our own selves. It is common for us to feel unjustified self-guilt for everyday decisions we make, or feel that we are being judged negatively by a colleague or friend. Interestingly, even when others genuinely compliment us, we often question their intentions or sanity rather than being able to internalize a positive truth about ourselves. This morning, for example, how many times did you compliment or congratulate yourself on something you said or did? Did you take the time to be kind to yourself ? Instead of rereading that email to your boss 7 times after you already sent it, because you felt you wrote something wrong, wouldn’t it be amazing if you could feel unconditional support and self-encouragement regularly? You don’t have to be mean to yourself to be motivated and excel in all areas of life; in fact, being sweet and kind to yourself will be more fulfilling, rewarding and allow you to have more success in all areas of life.

Bake Your Way to Happiness

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*EXCLUDES SHIPPI

Let’s take three components of our Coconut Whipped Cream Cake With Fluffy Icing recipe and create a Love Yourself recipe, which we can use to bake our Self-Love reconstruction:

Enough whipping. Stop whipping. Start reciting and internalizing positive messages about yourself. I automatically stop saying negative things about myself. All of the intrusive and abusive thoughts disappear from my brain and body. I feel confident and happy with myself.

Add encouraging layers to your beautiful cake.

Every decision I make is a good one. I can internalize compliments from others and feel unconditionally proud and happy with myself.

Fluff up your icing. Spend extra time every day retraining your mind and body to accept goodness, kindness and self-love. It has become part of my daily routine to be kind and loving to myself. I automatically find three sweet things to say to myself about myself throughout the day. My mind is filled with positive, encouraging thoughts and feelings about all the things I say and do.

I remember leaping out of bed, excited and motivated to get to work today. As I got dressed quickly and easily, I once again felt really good about myself, my choice of outfit for the day, and my body. I happily took the things I needed for work and when I got to work, I realized that I hadn’t said one bad thing about myself all morning! This is the fourth morning in a row where all the self-abusive, critical negative thoughts seemed to have just melted away and disappeared. It’s like my brain just can’t hold on to any negativity anymore. When I was reading my email, I briefly started to question myself but instead, the negativity disappeared instantly, and an amazing energy filled with self-confidence and motivation embraced me. I felt so happy with myself all day. At lunch, two of my colleagues took the time to compliment me on my success and remind me how beautiful and intelligent I am. It was different this time; instead of minimizing what they said or dismissing it, I was able to internalize their comments as my truths. I thought, “You know what, I am beautiful, intelligent, warm and funny.” I love myself unconditionally, and my brain reminded me of my worth and abilities throughout the day. Even in the evening, I felt amazing sensations of pure joy and self-love in my heart. I snuggled up with my book on my comfy sofa and reminded myself that I am an amazing soul, full of goodness and compassion, and I deserve and will accept self-love. Always.

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Rhubarb Pudding Cake

WE TEND TO TRY SO HARD to be better at everything but sometimes, without even realizing it, we might actually be making things more difficult for ourselves. It’s odd, but many times, deep down, we may have low self-worth or feel that we don't deserve good things to happen to us, or for us. Sometimes our minds can try to convince us to act in ways that don't promote actual acceptance of goodness in our lives. Do you ever respond to others in a way that actually results in your not achieving the goal of accepting goodness and success? Maybe you tend to be too nice to others at work, taking on extra jobs that aren’t yours. You may think that they will continue to like you because you are easygoing and clearly a team player? Let’s think it through, though. When you take on too many tasks at work, it becomes harder to focus on your own work and complete it efficiently and productively. Your colleagues may learn to think of you when handing out extra work since you are compliant and don’t say no. By being “too nice,” you may actually be creating a situation where you can’t work at your peak performance, allow others to take advantage of you, and don’t actually achieve goodness. Do you tend to take on too much at home? Do you feel that by preparing meals for others, cleaning, taking care of household tasks, and being emotionally supportive of your family, you are achieving goodness and success at home? Sometimes by doing too much for your family, what really ends up happening is that you find you are stretching yourself too thin. You may feel stressed, resentful and upset. Instead of others appreciating all your efforts, they may learn to expect them and then be upset with you if you seem moody or stressed. Like our cake, life can get messy. The things you do with the intention of feeling good can be counter-productive, stem from low self-worth, and stop you from achieving goodness. You deserve to achieve goodness in all areas of your life! You are worthy!

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Let’s take three components of our Rhubarb Pudding Cake recipe and create an I Am Worthy recipe, which we can use to bake our Deserving-andAccepting-of-Goodness reconstruction:

Focus on your sweet filling. Identify and change any unhealthy thoughts or behaviors so that you can embrace goodness in your life everyday. It’s amazing, I can clearly differentiate between thoughts and actions that would be good for me and those that wouldn’t. I automatically act in ways that will allow me to achieve and accept goodness in my life.

Add cream to your cake. You deserve goodness, always.

It feels like something has shifted in my brain and body, and I acknowledge and accept that I deserve and will achieve goodness and success in all areas of my life every day.

Appreciate the warm goodness of the cake. Feel worthy and deserving of love. Remind yourself of this again and again. I naturally remind myself again and again that I am a very worthy person. I feel proud as these thoughts and feelings of deserving and accepting goodness feel authentic.

I remember the first time I was talking to my colleague who had asked me to stay late and work on an extra project. I identified that taking on this project, and staying late, was not in my best interest. Instead of just agreeing, as I normally do, I was able to warmly and assertively decline. I told her that it was essential for me to complete my task, and that although I would like to help, unfortunately I would not be able to tonight. She was actually okay with it and didn’t even argue. It’s like she sensed I was being kind but firm about my decision, and she accepted it. Instead, I spent the time completing my work. I was naturally motivated, efficient and productive, and able to leave work on time. I had some extra time before dinner, so I decided to do something for myself that I enjoyed. The following day, I felt capable and intelligent and was able to achieve all the things I wanted to get done happily and comfortably. It feels like something has shifted in my brain and body, and I know I deserve goodness and will achieve it no matter what. Every night before showering, I lovingly caress my arm or face and remind myself that I am a worthy being. It feels important to remind myself that I am worthy and deserving of goodness in all areas of my life every day. I truly feel worthy, and have this wonderful sense that not only do I deserve goodness, I will achieve it.

You are worthy!

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Never-Fail Fudge

WOULDN’T IT BE GREAT if we could truly believe in our abilities and put out an energy of success in our relationships, at work, with our friends, and spiritually? Failure is actually quite subjective when you think about it. What you may perceive as a failure, someone else may perceive as a success. For example, you may feel that you have failed as a parent, but your child or other children may see you as a wonderful parent. The reality is we don’t actually fail at anything. What we may consider a failure may be more of a lesson, wisdom, or even the basis for potential future success. Everything in life has a bigger picture, and something that may be viewed as a failure today may actually be a necessary step toward achieving a greater success in the future. Let’s take failing a driving test for example. It’s quite presumptuous for us to assume that by failing the test, something bad has occurred. Maybe having to practice more and retake the test will actually make you a better driver, or save your life. Since we don’t really know what the future holds, is it possible that there was a bigger picture you weren’t aware of, and that not passing the test at that time actually helped you achieve success in some way? We are too quick to label ourselves or something we have done as a failure. Labeling ourselves as failures lowers our self-confidence and ability to succeed. We never fail. We learn, we grow, we evolve. Imagine how much your self-confidence would increase if you didn’t see yourself or the things you do as a failure. Low self-confidence is the root of almost all mental health issues. People who suffer from depression, low mood, anxiety, obsessiveness, negative thoughts, or even phobias, tend to present with underlying low self-confidence issues. If we feel good about ourselves and our actions, and truly believe we can achieve success in all areas of our lives, we would know that we never fail.

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Let's take three components of our Never-Fail Fudge recipe and create an Achieve Success recipe, which we can use to bake our Success-in-All-Areasof-Life reconstruction:

Never stop trying. If something doesn’t work, try something else. Eventually you can figure out any puzzle or recipe, and the result will be spectacular. I naturally take the initiative in all areas of my life. I acknowledge that I am a competent, brilliant person who can succeed.

Success!!!! Train your mind to adopt a new healthier story. No more failures, everything has a reason, a purpose, a bigger picture. Ultimately, you will achieve success. I feel so successful at everything I do. My mind automatically sends me messages that remind me that I am exceptionally capable, confident and will achieve and accept success in all areas of my life.

Get sticky with your fudge. Feel the stickiness of your fudge with your fingers. Life gets sticky sometimes, but everything will work out in the end. If it hasn’t worked out yet, it isn’t the end! Nothing brings me down or makes me feel overwhelmed. I can get through everything in life comfortably and easily. I have faith that things will turn out the way they are supposed to. Everything will be okay.

I remember feeling motivated and compelled to clean up my space. I used to just leave it messy or procrastinate tidying up, but things are different now. I naturally take the initiative in all areas of my life and enjoy making things happen, not waiting for them to happen. After I was done I felt that my space and my mind were clear and calm. I made time to make my Never-Fail Fudge, so that I could enjoy it with warm tea later in the evening. It's like there is this motivating force that compels me to take action and succeed no matter what is going on. In the evening, I relaxed in my chair and enjoyed my tea and fudge. My mind was filled with creative, inspired ideas for work that would help me excel. After my tea, I completed my projects with ease. My mind continued to remind me that I am an exceptionally capable, confident person who will achieve and accept success in all areas of my life. The following night, I had a family gathering at my house. The energy was warm, loving and sincere. We all laughed and talked, and even though my brother shared some bad news, it didn't impact me in a negative way. I was able to set boundaries so that I could be supportive of him but take care of myself and my needs at the same time. Instead of feeling bad for not giving enough, or thinking that I had failed in some way, I automatically felt that I had done enough and was happy with my actions. Nothing feels overwhelming, or impacts me in a negative way. I know there is a bigger picture for everything in life as I continue to enjoy and embrace success always.

We never fail. We learn, we grow, we evolve.

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OUR BODIES ARE BEAUTIFUL and important in so many ways, and yet most of us take issue with them and dislike them fiercely. Over time, society has shifted its ideals as to what the perfect body should be. Depending on the time period, full, curvy, skinny, and muscular body types have been sought after. Recently, there has been a movement toward specific body parts needing to be thin and others fuller and more muscular in both men and women. The one thing that remains constant is that there is no constant. What society views as “ideal” or “perfect” is always changing. Unfortunately, in response to the pressures of society and, in particular, the media, most individuals strive to change their bodies and keep up with what is considered acceptable and attractive at the time. This ends up being a very difficult, draining task, which may burden people physically, emotionally and financially. The results of dieting, overexercising, and surgery are often temporary and unsuccessful long-term. These often exhausting strategies seem futile to many people, and rarely give the individual the gratification he or she sought so hard to achieve. Ultimately, it would be most beneficial for us to stop trying to change the amazing gift we were given. Instead, the focus should be on eating all foods in moderation and exercising in a way that is not extreme. This way, we are taking care of our bodies properly, and whatever size or shape we have is natural and heathy. You deserve care and kindness every day; remind yourself to accept your body and appreciate it unconditionally.

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Let’s take three components of our Orange Cranberry Loaf recipe and create a Love Your Body recipe, which we can use to bake our Love-Your-Body reconstruction:

Consider the shapes in your recipe. The orange is large and round, the cranberry is small, the loaf oblong. The shapes of the foods are natural and don’t make you question whether one food is better than another. When you take care of yourself in a healthy way, your shape is natural and beautiful. As I continue to take care of my body properly, I accept, appreciate and love my body unconditionally.

Oranges and cranberries are good for you. They keep your body healthy. You need to be good for you, too. Keep your mind healthy by being kind and loving to yourself and your body. Every day, I automatically remind myself that I am beautiful inside and out. It’s a change, but I actually like every part of my body now. I feel authentic, warm, loving feelings when I think about myself and my body.

A loaf can be different widths or lengths, and round or oblong. Your body can be different, too, and that’s a great thing! My body might change or have its own unique shape, and that’s a great thing. I will always love and appreciate my body at its natural size and shape.

I remember on Wednesday once again taking the time to nourish my body properly with my balanced dinner of salmon, sweet potato and corn. After dinner, I enjoyed a slice of my delicious orange cranberry loaf as I sat outside relaxing on my deck. I naturally eat all foods in moderation regularly, and my body feels energized and happy as I take responsibility for taking care of it properly. On Thursday morning, I felt compelled to wake up early, grab my gym bag and exercise for 20 minutes. I engage in some form of physical activity a few times a week, and it keeps me feeling motivated all day long. It was odd but when I got changed out of my gym clothes, I actually had nothing bad to say about myself or my body. I even thought my thighs looked great! I once again felt authentically beautiful, and truly liked the way I looked. On Friday morning, I got dressed quickly and easily, and took a few minutes to admire myself in the mirror. I look good. I am beautiful. Once again, I felt amazing in the outfit I chose and didn’t even question it, myself or my body. I simply gathered what I needed and headed out for the day, feeling kind and loving toward myself. That evening, after my bath, I lovingly caressed my beautiful stomach as I dressed. I realize that my body has changed and will change over time, and I’m okay with that now. My body is a gift, and I love it and will always appreciate it unconditionally.

Accept your body and appreciate it unconditionally.

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HOW MANY TIMES have you had an intrusive or negative thought enter

your mind in the past day? Does it sometimes feel like these thoughts get stuck there, and you have difficulty or are unable to let them go? Do you ever feel like your mind gets preoccupied on a specific issue about work, family, or relationships? It is very common for us to have negative thinking as we dwell and sometimes even obsess about things we have said or done, or things we feel we need to do in the future. This type of thinking trains our brain to hold on to negativity and repeat it in our daily lives.

Wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t it be amazing if we could just let these negative thoughts go and embrace positive thoughts? Imagine how much more we could accomplish and how much better we would feel about ourselves if our brains spent even half as much time rehearsing positive thoughts instead of negative ones on a regular basis? You could wake up each morning with your own personal cheerleader and feel motivated throughout the day because you would constantly be reminded of everything positive you have done and can do, and enjoy serenity in the evening and before bed as your mind takes you on a positive journey filled with endless enthusiastic possibilities. You can train your thoughts to be different, suggesting to them at every moment to be kind, nurturing and empowering. Create an encouraging voice, a best friend, to guide you, support you, remind you of your worth and abilities. Ongoing positive thinking can free your mind and open you up to expecting and accepting goodness and happiness. You can accomplish wonderful things with positive thinking.

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Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s take three components of our Butter Tart Squares recipe and create a Positive Thinking recipe, which we can use to bake our Your-Thoughts-Are-Your-Friends reconstruction:

Butter your mind up. Just as you take the time to remind others that they are amazing, do the same for yourself. Even if it feels unfamiliar or difficult, butter yourself up and generate ongoing positive messages for your mind to absorb. Enjoy the taste of the delicious, encouraging butter as it gets integrated into your daily thoughts. I take time every day to put at least three positive thoughts into my mind. Amazing, nurturing, encouraging thoughts are automatically integrated into my brain; they feel authentic and awaken naturally now.

Trick the tart. If your mind tries to manipulate you into believing you should focus on something negative, try to trick it! Say the complete opposite thought at least three times, and envision that it is your reality. All of the negative and intrusive thoughts automatically disappear from my brain and body. If I start to think negatively, even briefly, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s different this time. My brain immediately shifts the thought into a positive one and holds on to it.

Turn your squares into circles. Retraining your brain can take time. Remember, you are trying to undo all the years of negative thinking that you may have inadvertently taught your brain to do. Take your time and be patient as you bake your new positive thoughts. As each day passes, I find that more and more of these positive thoughts are automatically sticking. I am reminded of all the wonderful things I have done, can do and will do every day.

I remember, for the third day in a row, waking up feeling inspired, motivated and happy in my core. As I brushed my teeth, I started with my first positive message for the day. You are a beautiful worthy soul who will accomplish great things. At lunch, I decided to go for a walk. As I bathed in the sunshine, my brain remembered that I am bright and warm and will absorb goodness and love every day. Before bed, I sang a little song to myself about how everything will be more than okay and how I will be naturally reminded of positive thoughts throughout the night. Rehearsing three positive messages every day keeps me feeling happy and motivated all the time. The following day, for a brief moment, I felt a negative thought start to creep in. As soon as I sensed it, I took responsibility and flipped it into a positive thought. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m actively training my brain to think in a healthier way that promotes happiness and positivity. It was amazing; instead of dwelling on what I thought I did wrong, the negative intrusive thought automatically disappeared in less than a minute. My mind was flooded with positive, encouraging thoughts, and I felt confident and empowered. Later that night, I was once again convinced that I am a deserving, warm successful being. These positive thoughts are beginning to feel so real. My ongoing positive thoughts make me feel great; they have changed my life.

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ON ANY TYPICAL DAY,

it is natural for us to experience a range of moods depending on our circumstances. You may get irritated when lining up outside the door of your favorite coffee shop on a cold February morning, experience a very happy positive mood when your bus arrives five minutes early, or feel a deep sorrow when you hear news that your best friend’s dog has passed away suddenly. These are all normal mood fluctuations that remind us of our humanity and connect us to others and our environment. When your moods seem to get overly intense, uncontrollable or excessive, you may feel helpless, controlled by a monster that seems to take over any last bit of rational thought you may have left in you. Days after excessive mood instability, you may feel embarrassed at how you verbally harassed the sales clerk for 35 minutes, or how you cried at the end of that commercial for literally seven minutes. You may feel horribly guilty for yelling at your son after seeing his room a mess once again, or avoiding your partner for four days because he didn’t do something the “right” way. When our moods get out of hand and seem uncontrollable, we may say or do things that are hurtful or unhealthy to ourselves and others. Working on empowering yourself and finding balance will help create stability and a calmer mood, regardless of the people or situations you encounter. By identifying mood swings, you can start to understand them, and minimize their intensity and frequency. Finding tranquility, harmony, balance, and inner peace will help you maintain a loving, healthy relationship with yourself and others.

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Let’s take three components of our Almond Scotch Cookies recipe and create a grounded recipe that we can use to bake our Balance-Your-Moods reconstruction:

Scotch, please… At times we all feel the desire to turn to something that will help calm us down or make us feel better. Rather than an addictive or unhealthy crutch, find and use helpful techniques to help balance your moods. I am starting to be able to identify any extreme mood swings now. As soon as I feel one coming on, I automatically read my reconstruction, go for a walk or meditate.

Batter up! Mix in calmness, balance and serenity.

As I continue to engage in self-care activities, my extreme moods never last long. I am naturally becoming a more peaceful, grounded, balanced person.

Save your cookies. Don’t let your moods overwhelm you or take over. Take time every day to protect and honor yourself by being gentle, compassionate and kind. I naturally acknowledge that I am a good, kind soul who deserves happiness and stability. My moods are automatically balancing out and I feel grounded, regardless of what is going on in my life.

I remember identifying that I may have been reacting in an extreme manner to my mother when she tried to tell me what to do on Monday evening. Instead of continuing to yell over the phone, I told her I had to take care of myself and that I would call her back when I felt calmer and able to talk in a healthier way. I hung up the phone and decided to go for a nice walk. After my walk, I sat in a peaceful, quiet space and meditated. Amazing sensations of happiness and positive calming energy embraced me in my peaceful safe place. I automatically take the time to engage in useful activities that keep me feeling calm, grounded and content. On Tuesday after work, I enjoyed a relaxing swim and a massage. Self-care, on a regular basis helps keep me healthy and stable, and my moods are now naturally balanced all the time. The following Thursday, even though I was sad after a brief argument with my parter, it felt different and not so intense. There were no overwhelming negative feelings this time, and the sadness seemed to automatically melt away from me. My mind was filled with nurturing, grounded thoughts that made me feel at ease and content. It seems like nothing is extreme, or overly stressful anymore. Regardless of who I am with or what is going on in my life, I feel grounded, balanced and calm in my core.

By identifying mood swings, you can start to understand them.

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Best-Ever Lemon Pie

“YOU CAN GET a whole lot further with honey than with vinegar.” Projection, negativity and the fallacy that others can be mind readers can complicate effective communication.

Projection: Sometimes when we are upset, we may be describing to another person what we ourselves are actually feeling or thinking. “You always wear that awful sweater,” may be you saying “I care a lot about appearances and what others think; you should too.” Projection can often lead to conflict or misunderstandings because others don’t always have the same perceptions, morals or values that we have. Negativity: Have you noticed that you tend to be much more negative with or take for granted the people you are supposed to be closest to? It’s amazing how sweet, cautious and kind we can be with an acquaintance or a stranger, but so negative with the ones we love the most. Negative communication is quite common among couples, parents and children. “You will never get a job,” “you are annoying,” “I don’t like you.” Add in expletives, and some of those phrases may sound very familiar. Mind Readers: We tend to expect others to be naturally skilled mind readers. Even if we don’t believe in the legitimacy of psychic powers, we may think that others should know what we are thinking or need. By communicating in a subtle, enigmatic, puzzling manner, you may get upset when others “just don’t get it.” “I told you what I needed but you didn’t listen!” Did you really clearly and explicitly express your needs or desires? These communication issues can limit our happiness, and meaningful long-lasting connection to others. By practicing effective communication, we can avoid some stress and anxiety, and feel more comfortable and confident in every relationship.

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Let’s take three components of our Best-Ever Lemon Pie recipe and create a communication recipe which we can use to bake our EffectiveCommunication reconstruction:

Best-Ever. Everyone needs unconditional acceptance, support and a non-judgmental person to listen and understand them. Instead of reacting, practice kindness, and sweetness. If we give goodness we will invite in the same towards us, or at least minimize negativity and conflict with others. I automatically communicate in an encouraging, positive manner with others, and many times they respond to me in the same way.

Lemon. Don’t be so sour! Remember to love and respect the people who mean the most to you. Have the personal empowerment to stop negative communication with your family and friends. It’s weird, but if I start to be judgmental or critical with people who mean a lot to me, I naturally notice and stop this behavior. My brain reminds me I will achieve more with kindness and I automatically phrase things in a positive and encouraging way.

Follow the instructions so that your pie comes out baked successfully. Don’t assume others will know when something is wrong, or if you need something. Be clear and provide detailed instructions so that you can get what you need in every situation. If I need or want something, I am now naturally confident, warm and assertive. I ask for what I need in a clear manner, and others respond well to my effective communication.

Reconstruction I remember coming home and giving my partner a warm, loving hug. It was nice to see each other, and I felt warm, connected and expressive. We shared about our days, and I took the time to be sweet, kind and patient. I automatically start all of my communications with others by saying something positive and inspiring about them, and this allows for healthier relationships in all areas of my life. When my daughter got home, I was tempted to express how irritating it was that she once again walked through the main entrance with her snowy wet boots, making a mess. Instead, I greeted her with warmth and love and was able to express my frustration in a more positive way that would encourage change. “Hi honey, how are you? I missed you lots today, and hope you had a good one! Looks like you accidentally wore your boots in, no big deal. Did you want something to clean that up with?” The following day at work, when my boss demanded I stay late to finish a project, I responded differently. Instead of being upset that he didn’t remember I had to pick up my son from baseball, I communicated my needs clearly. “I appreciate the urgency of this, and thank you for making sure I remember. Unfortunately, I have another commitment I must get to immediately, but I will have that for you first thing in the morning. I think you are a very responsible boss, and I appreciate the encouragement and motivation. I hope you will be very pleased with the project. Have a good evening.” He understood and wished me the same. I am naturally confident, clear and communicate in an effective manner with others. This has created ongoing happy, positive relationships that I enjoy every day.

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Buttermilk Chocolate Cupcakes

DO YOU EVER WISH that you could go back to childhood and re-parent yourself? That you could help your younger self through a rough time, be your guide, hero, guardian angel? Dear little one, I just want to remind you how much I love you. I understand that some of the things you are going through are tough, and I just want to hug you and hold you tight during those times. Remember that you will get through everything. There is always a bigger picture, and you are destined to have goodness and love always. I am truly proud of you for everything you have done and will do. I think that you are amazing and beautiful inside and out. During the rough times, I will always be here to support you and remind you that you are deserving of happiness and will get it! You are so sweet, I wish I could just pick you up and take you to wondrous places, fill you up with love, inspiration and hope. I promise to protect you, guide you, and always be there for you. Anytime you need me, just reach out. I am here. I will soothe you, give you wisdom in times of need and love and encourage you every day, to remind you of your worth and abilities. My love for you is unconditional and boundless. I am always by your side. Forever. I love you. Me Inner child work helps heal wounds and difficulties from childhood. You can connect to your younger self, your vulnerable self, and rewrite your history to help your inner child heal.

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Let’s take three components of our Buttermilk Chocolate Cupcakes recipe and create an inner child recipe which we can use to bake our Love-YourInner-Child reconstruction:

Buttermilk is a rich, nurturing, filling ingredient. There is one person who came into this world with you and one person that will always be there for you, with you, until the day you leave the earth. I automatically nourish and fill my inner child up with richness, using the main ingredient of self-love, every day.

Chocolate. A common source of happiness, soothing and sweet.

I naturally connect with my inner child if I feel vulnerable or upset. I am able to soothe my inner child with unconditional love and sweetness.

Nourish your inner child with a cupcake and gifts of love and connection. I feel encouraged and inspired to create a photo album, take my inner child out, and give myself meaningful gifts of self-love.

Rewrite your history to help your inner child heal.

I remember once again lying down, snuggled up warmly by the fire with myself. I took the time to remind my inner child of how much love I have to give. “You know you are awesome, right? I just want to remind you of how proud I am of you. I can’t begin to tell you how much you mean to me. We have been through so many things together and there are many more fascinating adventures for us to experience together. I love you so much.” The following day was a little tough at work. On the way home, I stopped to get some gas for my car. As I pumped it in, I began to feel slightly sad and upset, but it was different this time. I talked my inner child through it. “It’s okay sweetheart, I will help you through it. Everything will be okay. Remember, there is always a bigger picture, and I am, and always will be, by your side. I will protect you and give you what you need. Always.” It was amazing; as soon as I got back in the car, I felt better, lighter, more confident about everything. I decided to spend part of my weekend with my inner child. We baked some cupcakes, and lovingly looked through the photo album I created for my younger self. I connected with my inner child, and we went on a walk through the forest by our house. We felt free, and there was a skip in our step. Feelings of lightness, freedom and happiness embraced us. I found a flower and gave it to my inner child. “I love you, sweetness. I will do things for you, teach you, listen to you and fill you with inspiration, love and happiness. We are one.”

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Date Squares

RELATIONSHIPS ARENâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T ALWAYS EASY. In the past, it was

common and sometimes necessary to meet someone and get married at a young age. These days, younger people are often encouraged to finish secondary school, travel, live on their own and date many people before they settle down. Developing a sense of self is healthy and can help an individual feel confident, expressive and understand individual needs and goals effectively. Ultimately, a partner should be the icing on the cake, not the cake. You can enjoy your cake more with the icing on top; it adds something extra, but it is not a necessity. With continued self-exploration and development, people gain independence and life experience. At times, independent self-reflective people may find it hard to be in a relationship with another, because that requires regular give-and-take and changing patterns of behaviour. When you are on your own and comfortable with the things you do and the way you think, you might begin to realize that the person you are dating or in a relationship with is quite different and has needs or desires that are not comparable with yours. Enjoying happy relationships takes a lot of understanding, compromising and healthy contact with each other. A positive, encouraging, happy relationship can help inspire you and bring you warmth and joy.

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Let’s take three components of our Date Square recipe and create a relationship which we can use to bake our Enjoy-Happy-Relationships reconstruction:

Have a clear understanding of what you are looking for when you date someone. I am able to understand who I am, what I need and what I am looking for in a future partner.

Compromising. Bite around your date square so that it becomes a circular shape. I naturally see my partner’s point of view, and it is easy and natural for me to compromise and still have my needs and goals met in my relationship.

Healthy contact. Relationships are like your date square treat for you to enjoy. Desserts are extras you don’t need or get all the time, so don’t take a partner for granted. Always appreciate the one you love. My partner is an amazing person. I am honored to have my parter in my life, and automatically interact in ways that facilitate love, respect and happiness.

I remember getting ready to go on my date. I took the time to reflect on who I am and the things that I need and want in all the areas of my life. When we met for dinner, I was naturally warm, connected and expressive. As time went on, we were able to identify, together, things that were important to us. It is becoming natural and easy for me to find a partner that I can fit well with. I take the time to think about what has worked for me in the past and what I need in the future, and can connect authentically with my partner to ensure that we are on the same page. Six months into our relationship, I remember my partner asking me if I would go camping. Knowing that I’m not fond of camping, and never had been, we talked about ways of compromising. We realized that we could go on small trips with friends instead, or maybe go to a cabin together as a compromise. It felt good to make sure both of our needs were being met and that we were happy with our decision. The following week, I spontaneously decided to give my partner a hug and a sweet personalized gift. I realized that my partner shows me love and affection regularly as well, and always takes the time to remind me of how important and meaningful our connection is. I truly appreciate having someone in my life who makes me feel happy, and we continue to share great moments together every day.

Ultimately, a partner should be the icing on the cake, not the cake.

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Chapter Thirteen

How to Manage Stress Bake Your Way to Happiness

Blueberry Coffee Cake

GETTING THE KIDS TO SCHOOL, taking care of a sick family

member, finishing a work project, preparing meals, attending events...

Sometimes it feels like everything in life is stressful and overwhelming. It’s hard enough to try and manage your own life and issues–throw in other people, their issues, their needs and expectations of you, and life gets stressful. How can you manage stress so that regardless of what you are doing or what you are going through, you never feel overwhelmed or exhausted? We can train our brains to minimize the emotional impact of many of the stressful experiences in our lives. By actually feeling that anything is possible and not very difficult, we can begin to interpret things that were once stressful and unbearable as easier and simpler. Since all events and experiences in our lives are based on our subjective interpretation, we can modify our perceptions of each event and internalize each of them as much less stressful. Wouldn’t it be great if half the things you had to get done today felt like a breeze: easy and simple, and left you feeling comfortable and relaxed in your core? Any surprise, or unexpected change of plans, or emergency situation, can be met with resilience, empowerment, calm thoughts and feelings.

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Let’s take three components of our Blueberry Coffee Cake recipe and create a calmness recipe which we can use to bake our How-To-ManageStress reconstruction:

Taste the sweetness of your berry and train your brain to not focus on being blue. Since all perceptions are subjective, the way you interpret them is ultimately up to you! Something has shifted in my brain, and it’s weird but nothing in my life feels stressful,or overwhelming anymore. I feel like everything has become easier and that I can manage anything comfortably now.

Coffee. Create and rehearse messages that energize you!

Every day I wake up feeling full of energy and motivation! No matter what is going on in my life, I am passionate and positive. I naturally feel empowered and confident that I can get through anything.

Save some cake for the rest of the week. Take the time to prioritize what you have to do. I take time every day to write down what I have to do for the day, and let go of the things that are not a priority. This makes everything feel easier and lighter, and I can comfortably achieve my goals in a calm way.

I remember being busy at work and it was odd, but it didn’t feel stressful at all. I was able to complete everything on my to-do list. It seems as though no matter who gets upset or what happens in my life, I feel naturally calm and relaxed in my core. It’s like I can handle anything now and all of the anxiety and stress melt away from me. Even when my daughter approached me with a difficult situation, I didn’t internalize it in a negative way. It became more of a practical problem to solve, and I felt easygoing and peaceful as we interacted. The following day and evening, I once again experienced amazing sensations of pure, positive energy in my core. I feel so motivated, inspired and full of life and happiness every day. It’s like a switch has gone off, and I never feel tired or stressed out anymore. On Monday, I wrote down the five things I really wanted to accomplish for the day. I put aside two other things that could wait until later in the week. I felt empowered and confident as I easily and comfortably achieved my goals for the day. Surprisingly, I even had time for some self-care left in the evening and so I decided to go on a nice peaceful walk by the pond. I sat on the bench and smiled as the ducks and geese swam by.

We can modify our perceptions of each event.

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Chapter Fourteen

Bake Your Way to Happiness

Cranberry Pie With Orange Custard

REMEMBER shaking your head and laughing when seeing a small child spend

hours getting excited and having fun with the box from an expensive gift you bought, the spoon in the kitchen, or the sound the water would make while splashing during bath time? Or how fascinating and passionate your cat would become when you pulled out the string? Do you ever feel like you have lost some of your passion in life? That sometimes you are stuck? Experiences, people or thoughts from your past may have impacted you in a negative way, and made you lose some of your innocence and zest for life. Sometimes underlying issues or past experiences can keep us in a fear mode and prevent us from enjoying the fireworks of a full and passionate life. We get too caught up in what we have to do, or think we have to do, and forget how important it is to be present in each moment and shine. To be passionate, you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to be rich, travel the world or continually seek external wisdom. Passion is about being physically and emotionally excited about anything and everything, really. Right now.

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Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s take three components of our Cranberry Pie with Orange Custard recipe and create a passion recipe which we can use to bake our FindYour-Passion reconstruction:

Can-berry. I can be happy and passionate about everything in my life every day. I naturally emote an amazing passionate energy that fills every moment with light, laughter and love.

Custard. Mix zest and tang

into your new sumptuous creamy life.

I remember and feel what it is like to be free, passionate and very excited about everything in my life.

Present Pie. Live each moment.

Life is a gift. You are a gift.

My mind automatically focuses on what is happening right now, rather than what was or what will be. Right now, in this moment, I am passionate and happy. This moment is a gift.

Reconstruction I remember walking through a garden and finding a beautiful pale pink flower. I bent down to touch the petals. It was so soft and sensual, and I could smell how sweet and magnificent it was. One of the petals fell into my palm, and I gently took it to the ravine beside me. I placed it in the water and watched it float peacefully and slowly. A droplet of water landed on the petal. It was so clear and yet, when reflected by the sun, it became so colorful. As I watched the petal continue its scenic path down the river, I felt energized, passionate in my soul. In every part of me. I thought about how much I have done and learned already in my life, and was astonished and proud of every moment, every experience. Nothing felt bad or wrong or regretful. I can see now that there is always a bigger picture, and every part of my journey is stimulating and fascinating. Each day, I naturally enjoy and appreciate everyone and everything my life has to offer. I am present and accept everything in my life as a gift that the universe has sent me. Even if I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t understand everything, I can naturally feel everything, be everything, and experience true passion, energy and life.

Be present in each moment and shine.

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Chapter Fifteen

Bake Your Way to Happiness

Classic Biscuits

FOR MANY YEARS, clients have come to me in awe, happily surprised at how well the reconstructions work for them. They describe them as magical and, in many ways, lifesavers. I have seen many clients with a variety of issues over the past 16 years, and many of them have reported issues with sleep. Whether it be because of business, obsessive thoughts, mood issues, or just because, sleep difficulties are quite common across the board. Luckily, reconstructions seem to work best with sleep issues. Almost all of my clients have reported an amazing shift in the ability to fall asleep and stay asleep successfully after rehearsing sleep reconstructions. Freedom, energy, and clarity of thought and feelings often come along with getting a good night’s sleep. Some clients have even been able to come off of medications that were addictive or harmful to them, even after having to take them for years, once they started creating and rehearsing sleep reconstructions. It is a blessing to see people get better, heal and continue to recover from their difficulties. Even better is seeing clients not only survive, but thrive, achieve and embrace happiness. On a personal note, my husband and I have been regularly using these practices to sleep well every night. We have both noticed that dreams no longer have a strong emotional component or “sting” to them, and we naturally fall asleep easily and wake up feeling wonderful, energized and happy.

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Get a Great Night’s Sleep Let’s take three components of our Classic Biscuits recipe and create a sleep recipe which we can use to bake our Get-a-Good-Night’s-Sleep reconstruction:

Stick to the classic. Create a familiar routine you can follow regularly. Every night, I get to bed by a specific time. I feel naturally tired by then and compelled to start my nighttime routine.

Don’t forget about your biscuit. Read your reconstruction every day. I automatically take time every day to read my reconstruction. It is working well and I am feeling so much better now. I fall asleep quickly and easily and wake up in the morning feeling refreshed, energized and excited about each day.

Count to four to sleep. Recite a consistent countdown as you are getting to bed. As I fall asleep, I naturally recite my count four to get to sleep every night. I sleep peacefully and wake up feeling great.

I remember once again naturally choosing a reconstruction, reading it, and visualizing my most vivid image and feeling. I do this every day now, and I can feel the positive changes in my mind and body. It’s really working, and it feels so wonderful to be experiencing these amazing positive shifts. Later that evening, I began feeling sleepy. I glanced at the clock and saw it was 10:30 p.m. I felt compelled to head up to bed and start my nightly routine. After washing my face, brushing my teeth and getting changed, I headed to my bed. I snuggled up under my comfy blanket and did my count to four. Within a couple of minutes of my head resting on my pillow, I automatically fell asleep quickly and easily. It is like something has shifted in my brain and body, and I naturally fall asleep within minutes, peacefully and easily, every night now. This has been going on for months. I drift off within minutes of getting into my bed at night, and get a great sleep. In the morning, I woke up feeling excited, naturally motivated and eager to start my day. Sleeping well keeps me feeling wonderful, and fills me up with an amazing energy of pure joy and happiness all day, every day.

Reconstructions seem to work best with sleep issues.

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Bake Your Way to Happiness

BAKE YOUR WAY TO HAPPINESS TODAY! Bake Your Way to Happiness will melt your heart and satiate your soul. This book proves that happiness can be measured (via teaspoons, tablespoons, and cups), so turn on your oven and pull out your mixing bowls! This book is a good reminder that happiness can be ooey, gooey, sticky and messy! In addition, the simple strategies and creative exercises will nourish your soul and melt away the mayhem of everyday life. – Sheryl Gordon, arewordinglife.com

Baking and happiness do seem to go hand in hand. Many people have fond memories of their grandmother’s baking. The intimate ritual, the sweet scents wafting from the oven, the ecstasy of eating the finished product. But Bake Your Way to Happiness takes this natural association several steps further and offers mouth-watering recipes along with wise teachings and a workbook. The book really is food for the soul.

Marilyn’s capacity to guide individuals toward understanding their true sense of self has been demonstrated, over many years, in support groups she has facilitated; now, this wisdom is in your hands, shared by Marilyn and co-authors with humor and joy — create balance, and share with family and friends while learning how to trust in the wisdom of your authentic self. – Janice Morgante, Executive Director Riverwalk Eating Disorders and Wellness Centres

All too often psychotherapy fails to recognize our being whole, integrated systems. Thoughts are amazing creations, and changing our thoughts can reverberate throughout our whole person because we are each a fully connected system. But in emphasizing individual thinking, we can ignore the immense influence of our social relationships and of our physical movement… including baking and eating. That’s where this book makes a unique contribution. It uses creative metaphors connecting the nourishment of our bodies with the nourishment of our souls. It also models joyful, uplifting messages to help reconstruct sadness and distress. – Linda J. Page, Ph.D., Founder, Adler Graduate Professional School

– Mariellen Ward, breathedreamgo.com

Many times in my life, I’ve turned to baking to boost my mood. Getting lost in the sensations of kneading a dough, smelling the aroma of butter, sugar and spices as it bakes, and finally taking a bite—it’s all naturally therapeutic. This book takes that experience a step further by using baking as a tool to actively create and welcome joy into your life. – Annabelle Waugh, food editor and recipe developer

What a gem! This book is a journey into finding your own recipe for happiness — and your guide is the perfect blend of therapist, mentor and gentle friend. —Christal Earle, founder of Live Different

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