Parenting: Creating productive kids through successful families

Communications 352 Brother Hemingway

Monique Snow Brooke Alston Josh Pratt Lisa Oakley

Parenting: Creating productive kids through successful families

December 2015 Volume 1, Issue 1

Good and Bad Parenting Creating happier lives through change For thousands of years children have been born to parents who teach about life in a variety of ways; some with detrimental effects and some with successful results. We hope to inspire parents in becoming effective parents and to help them avoid the problems that abound in families as they parent thus creating well-balanced children and productive citizens.

History and Nature

Over thirty years ago society was stricter on standards. Moral standards and hard work were what society expected of people. They had the mentality to work through their problems instead of giving up when things would get hard.

Parents had fewer distractions, so raising the family took priority and there were fewer things that took both parents physically away from their family.

Now children have become more entitled, parents get distracted with work, work requires longer travel, and there is an increased distraction of technology, etc. There are different moral standards in society today as well one of these being the conflicting views on pornography. This indifference has caused parent and children’s relationships to dwindle. This change in morality, has also caused many to view divorce, single parenting, and children out of wed lock as acceptable and even normal.

Times have changed even within the past 30 years. Parenting has been affected by these views, and it has started to show negative effects in our society today.

INSIDE THIS ISSUE Introduction…………………………………….2 History and Nature ............................... 2 Scope ……………………………………………..3 Ramifications ………………………………….3 Bad Parenting tactics .......................... .4 Media Parenting ................................... .6 Breaking the Cycle ............................... .8 Solutions …………………………………….....9 Finding help ………………………………….11

SPECIAL POINTS OF INTEREST 

Understand the need for change in our families.

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Begin to strengthen your relationship with your children.

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Begin to build a stronger foundation for your marriage .

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Learn the changes available for a better life, overall.

Scope of our mission In today’s world children are being neglected and are experiencing unhealthy relationships with family members.

Although most children are fed and have a roof over their head, there are many ways that they are having unhealthy relationships with their parents.

part of the parents to keep their children safe. Basically, unhealthy parenting is doing nothing for your children. As far as good parenting goes, kids need structure and struggle when they are allowed to do whatever they want. They need consistency, structure and restrictions.”

It could range from being as simple as letting their children do whatever they want, to abuse. In my interview with Dr. Tristan at Provo Center for Couples and Families he described bad parenting as “a lack of consideration and action on the

Children that suffer from abuse and neglect undergo what no child should ever have to endure.

“Coming to know our capabilities as parents and the effect our skills can have on our children, shows us what we really can do as communities.”

What the experts say:

Douglas LaBier PH.D. said, “Researchers suggest that toxic childhood stress alters neural responses to stress, boosting the emotional and physical arousal to threat, and making it more difficult for that reaction to be shut off.”

Just as adults, who are experiencing high levels of stress have the biological reaction of more cortisone in the brain cells, children have the same reactions and therefore, an increase of cortisone in such a developing brain can only cause such changes that would be difficult, if even impossible, to reverse.

The best way to combat these negative changes, would be prevention.

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Ramifications So what are the ramifications of Bad parenting? There are many.

Children often have the inability to differentiate between reality and make believe. Children can be deeply involved in videogames and unable to tell the difference between a game and reality. Jodi Housman, a licensed Family Therapist, said, “children often have a hard time distinguishing between reality and unreality.

Children whose parents who have been “absent” often have low self-esteem.

When children have low self-esteem they often seek out gang membership, and have poor peer skills. Mrs. Housman says children often will take on the roles of parenting when a parent is “absent”.

Many children will have poor nutrition. When parents are absorbed in their own problems they often leave the children to fend for themselves when it comes to food choices. Mrs. Housman says oftentimes poor nutrition is due to lack of money and lack of knowledge.

Children that are subject to mass media often suffer from PTSD. A good example of this is, much in the way that a soldier goes to war and what he sees on the battlefield. When children play violent games over and over again. They are damaging their emotional brain from those violent images.

Mrs. Housman, offers suggestions in how to minimize the problem of mass media. She tells us to watch things that are uplifting, or knowledge based shows such as cooking shows or Sesame Street. These things will engage the mind in a uplifting fashion.

Issue 1 — When parenting causes negative effects Negative Parenting tactics In an interview with a Bishop, clergy for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, he mentioned seeing parents micro managing their children to the point that it turned into controlling their children.

When this has been done, then the child pushes back and retaliates once they gain their independence.

Different forms of retaliation could be getting deeply into pornography, or substance abuse etc.

This wouldn’t have been as problematic if there was trust shown to the child previous to their alienation, instead of the more micromanaging style of parenting.

“Children model what they see. If a child is bullied by his/her parent, or is being abused or treated in a disrespectful way at home, that child is likely to imitate this behavior at school.

They are learning from their parent that this type of behavior is acceptable.”(Dr. Gall Gross) What the experts say: Abused and neglected children are more likely than other children to be self destructive or aggressive, to abuse drugs and/or alcohol, or become young offenders or "street kids". (Dr. Gall Gross) What the experts say:

If children are or see abuse they learn the characteristics, and this creates uncertainty about relationships. It then becomes normal and can pass to the next generation.

Emotional abuse has increased due to pornography and causes emotional detachment, and degrades the other spouse.

Physical or sexual abuse causes a lack of connectivity in relationships for children creating a difficulty for them to attach to another and trust in any relationship.

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Unrealistic Relationships Pornography has infected society with unrealistic views of relationships. There are many images of what society portray as beauty, but these can be destructive to a person’s view of themselves as no one can live up to the same standards of perfection that a photoshopped picture offers us. This can cause insecurities as a parent, and challenges in raising children as parents try to overcome the difficulties that these present. Pornography also affects how spouses treat each other, and can be contributed to abuse in any form or abuse to any family member (spouse or children). Parent’s choices of teaching by example can either be showing their children bad or good examples of unhealthy and healthy relationships.

Society portrays pornography as having no negative consequences, but it is actually a vicious circle that ruins peoples lives. For instance, many people have ended up in jail due to becoming a sex offender. It breaks apart families and disrupts potentially healthy relationships.

Pornography also affects men, giving them a bigger ego and inflating them horribly. This addiction can also consume them, making them forget everything and leaving the wife is in charge and responsible to carry out both parenting roles in the family.

Pornography creates the illusion that women are objects with the sole reason being to please men and do their work. The media would tell us that women are nothing more than a tool; then women think they have to act and be certain ways.

These expectations are reflected in the lives of their children as well. Oftentimes this addiction is diminished as a negative influence on children because of their lack of understanding of what they are seeing, but children learn from the example of their parents, whether it be a good or bad example and are often found role playing what they know personally from observing their parents or from watching inappropriate media with their parents.

Too much, too soon?

In an interview with Jodi Houseman, a local family therapist, I asked about media and the effects it has on children. She said, “Mass media can have a good effect and a bad effect on our children. When children are subject to too much mass media they have a difficult time knowing what is true and what is not.”

She also mentioned that they also have the potential to form PTSD from watching violent actions after violent actions after violent actions on TV or in video games. They become numb to the reality of what may we happen. She suggests turning

off the video games, turning off the TV and having more personal family time.

She also suggested that young children should not have smart phones.

On the other side of the coin, she said there are many things that children can learn from mass media, some of the things can be from cooking shows, Sesame Street, nova and other shows that engage the mind.

We need to balance and set boundaries for our children so they can learn to set these boundaries on their own as adults.

“You are who you are, you are what you are by what has gone into your mind.

You can change who you are, you can change what you are, by changing what goes into your mind!” (Zig Ziglar)

How can we know?

What the experts say:

Percentage of children maltreated in 2005: According to NCANDS, in 2005, 79.4 percent of perpetrators were parents and 6.8 percent were other relatives. As of September 30, 2004, 517,000 children lived in foster homes because they could not safely remain in their own homes.

Neglect

Physical Abuse 16.6% Sexual abuse

9.3%

Emotional/ Psychological

7.1%

Pornography isn't the only thing that that can significantly damage your Medical child's view of the world. A study conducted by the National Institute of Other Mental Health was able to identify the affects of violence in the media.

"Children may become less sensitive to the pain and suffering of others.

Children may be more fearful of the world around them. Children may be more likely to behave in aggressive or harmful ways toward others.

Children who watched many hours of violence on television when they were in elementary school tended to show higher levels of aggressive behavior when they became teenagers. Children who watched a lot of TV violence when they were 8 years old were more likely to be arrested and prosecuted for criminal acts as adults." (http://www.apa.org/ research/action/protect.aspx)

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Children who are exposed to a ton of violence in media are more likely to be violent or fearful of the world. This also applies to video games and other forms of entertainment. A possible solution would be to monitor what your children are viewing and participating in.

62.8%

2.0% 14.3%

Issue 2 — Media Parenting Media Distracts Families From Spending Time Together Kids today are being exposed to social media younger and younger. Parents use electronics to pacify or even sometimes babysit their children. I remember once seeing a two year old screaming in a grocery store. His mother obviously frustrated handed him her cell phone and he stopped crying. Children this age should never be exposed to electronic devices or TV because it can stunt their mental growth and interfere with learning proper social skills. This child is also learning that he just has to throw a big fit to get to use a device. The sad part of this story is that he is bonding with the cell phone rather than her.

Dr. Tristan of Provo Center for Couples and Families Counseling told me a story of a 9 year old girl being given a smart phone with no restrictions or any way to monitor what she was doing on it, by her parents. To him, he said “this would be like giving a 9 year old a Corvette with the keys in it. It is extremely dangerous for kids to have no restrictions when it comes to media. It puts them in danger of possible child predators as well.” These parents may have thought they were doing their daughter a great service providing her with something that she would find enjoyable and something that they find essential to their lives but they showed her that she will think it’s just a toy to play with and that there is no danger in her receiving this device.

I think it is the saddest thing to see a family all sitting together in the family room all on their smart phones instead of conversing with one another. “66% of all 8- to 18-yearolds own their own cell phone. On average, 8- to 18-year-olds spend 33 minutes talking on a cell phone, and about an hour and a half sending and receiving text messages daily.” This also excluded time spend surfing the web or playing games on their phones.

Cell phones are not the only culprits to distract families from spending time together.

“In 2010, more than 77% of all American households had a computer, and 71% had home Internet access service. 8- to 18-year-olds spends an average of 7 ½ hours a day, seven days a week with media. 64% of 8- to 18-year-olds uses the computer for entertainment purposes with the three most popular activities being social networking sites, computer games, and watching videos. In a study of the psychological and social impact of the Internet on involvement and well being, although the Internet was used primarily for communication, a relationship was found between greater use of the Internet and declines in communication between family members within the household.” (New York State Communication Association) Children need time to interact with their families to bond and feel loved without any other distractions. “Social media, texting, and TV in excess create disconnections between children and their parents. They can hinder social skills and increase a lack of empathy, making it hard for kids to be able to confront one another and read social cues such as body language.”

Not only can excess amounts hurt family relationships, it can also hinder children’s development. “Excess amounts of media and electronics can hinder children’s development, limiting screen time and teaching children proper use of electronics is beneficial to preventing possible problems later on. Today's children are spending an average of seven hours a day on entertainment media, including televisions, computers, phones and other electronic devices. Studies have shown that excessive media use can lead to attention problems, school difficulties, sleep and eating disorders, and obesity. The Internet and cell phones can provide platforms for illicit and risky behaviors.”

What the experts say: These are some statistics of children who have had to endure neglect and abuse the past two years.

“In 2013, an estimated 1,520 children died from abuse and neglect in the United States. In the same year, Children’s Advocacy Centers around the country served nearly 295,000 child victims of abuse, providing victim advocacy and support to these children and their families. In 2014, this number was over 315,000.”

An estimated 679,000 children were victims of abuse and neglect (unique instances).

47 states reported approximately 3.1 million children received preventative services from Child Protective Services agencies in the United States.

Children in the first year of their life had the highest rate of victimization of 23.1 per 1,000 children in the national population of the same age.

Of the children who experienced maltreatment or abuse, nearly 80% suffered neglect; 18% suffered physical abuse; and 9% suffered sexual abuse.

Just under 80% of reported child fatalities as a result of abuse and neglect were caused by one or more of the child victim’s parents.

(National Children’s Alliance)

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Everyone else has one

Dangers of Social Media Use for Children When I was a child, I remember watching this kid show we had on video tape called “Get Street Smart”. In the video they showed examples of why it’s important not to talk to strangers and to never tell a stranger your personal information. Social media has been around now for more than 10 years and thousands of children have social media accounts. A recent survey on parenting.com said, “30% of parents admitted on Parenting.com that they allow their tweens to log on social media before the age of 13.

According to the AAP, more than half of adolescents visit a social media site more than once a day, and 75% have cell phones, which are often used for texting and instant messaging.” Children who are allowed to have social networking profiles are being put at risk for unknown persons friending them and getting personal information from them. Some children aren’t educated by their parents about the dangers of social media and end up talking to a person they don’t know and end up becoming victims of rape, assault, murder and kidnapping.

Predators are not the only dangers on social media. Children can be exposed to cyber bulling or be apart of it themselves. Children can also post information about themselves that can come back years later while they may try to get into college or get a job.

“Parents need to be the guardrails on the superhighway of online information. Kid’s can be exposed to cyber bulling or be apart of the cyber bulling. When children make a bad choice online, it can be public and permanent. Children are able to post things online that might hurt others or damage their own reputations. Social media is extremely dangerous for young kids. It’s important to educate your kids and let them know that nothing they post online is private. Educating our children how to use social media will help them know how to be safe and use it in a way that won’t hurt their reputation.

Keeping technology away from their children isn’t the answer, and fear-based education doesn’t work. Those who deny their children access to the Internet and social media are setting themselves up for a power struggle, and you’re not going to win.”

Monitoring how our children use social media isn’t the only thing we need to examine.

Sometimes we set a bad example as parents by sharing too much information about family members and ourselves. The Internet is never private and we need to remember that it is on the web forever.

“Sixty-one percent of Parents' survey respondents believe parents brag too much on social media. Sixty-seven percent think most parents aren't honest on social media about the realities of parenting. Twentyfour percent of our survey respondents say they worry what they post will come back to haunt their child as a teen or an adult, while 32 percent have deleted a post about their child that they feared was over sharing.

We don’t know how social media will affect our children in the future but as a society we over-share, so we need to limit what we share to respect our children and keep them safe.

Social media is still very new and we need think about what we post on the Internet before we actually share it.

Presenting ourselves as perfect and looking at all our friends perfect lives can cause us to be unsatisfied with our own lives.

In an exclusive Parents survey of more than 2,000 respondents, 79 percent said other parents’ over share on social media -- yet only 32 percent of us think we over share ourselves.” (parenting.com)

We need to ask ourselves if this could hurt our child later on and if they would be okay with me posting this. Would I be okay with perfect strangers knowing this about my family? As parents we need to do everything we do for the benefit of our children.

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Issue 3 — The need to break the cycle Breaking the cycle There are several distinct things we can do to break the cycle, these suggestions were given by Bridget Bentz Sizer, and hear are 5 of her suggestions 1) understanding the meaning of your child's behavior (“once we know the valid route of the behavior, we can easily remove the cause or heal the emotions, and the child won't be driven to behave in that way anymore.” Naomi Aldort 2) Focus on controlling yourself and not your child. (Parents need to model the type of behavior they want the child to emulate) 3) Be consistent with your expectations (children thrive on consistency) 4) Give attention to behavior you like (play deaf to bad behavior) 5) and if all else fails, redirect, redirect and redirect. (Do it in a positive way instead of yelling at your child, for instance: to stop running say instead I challenge you to walk as though you're walking on marshmallows).

Other things that we can do to break the cycle being come aware of the dysfunction in our own families. Take ownership of the problem. Pair in contrast our families with a functional family. Do your homework seek professional counseling specific area or your family is in need of. Lambert, Dorinda J., Phd. "Dysfunctional Families: Recognizing and Overcoming Their Effects." Dysfunctional Families: Recognizing and Overcoming Their Effects. Kansas State University, 19 Aug. 2015. Web. 1 Dec. 2015.

“’It takes a village to raise a child’ is an old adage that helps us understand we are not alone — reach out, seek help, and build better lives — together!

Finding help when we combat cycles Studies have shown that as we do things as a family and spend quality time with our family members such as eating dinner together, there is much less tendency for family members to get involved with drugs. We are showing our family members we care about them, we care about what they are doing, and it is important to us as we spend this quality time. Hence the family members feel loved and wanted.

Another thing that helps break the cycle is as we as community members get involved with different agencies such as Big Brothers & Big Sisters we then have a opportunity to be mentors to those children and to their families. By being involved in different community activities, from reading to children of library time, to help new mothers learn how to take care their children and give them the skills they need we are able to make an impact on those lines and show them a better way to do things.

Mrs. Houseman suggested working with low income families and teaching them to

work with the skills they had, and find ways to better manage their time and money so they can go about improving, and getting more skills; hopefully helping them break the cycle of poverty, and teaching them there is hope for the future. By doing this, their children will learn new skills, and better their own skills, so they do not get caught in the same cycles.

Kansas City State University suggested that we help point families in the direction where help is available.

Many families are very aware of all the free services that are available to them by the state and federal governments to help them improve. By giving these families knowledge to their particular needs and wants that they may not be aware of, and they themselves are helping break the cycle and are able to move forward as a family.

What do the experts say: Dr. Jodie Houseman, A clinical psychologist and licensed family and marriage therapist employed by the County of San Luis Obispo Mental Health Department, shares with us ideas of how to break these cycles. Some of these suggestions are: 

Help your children make better choices.

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Be emotionally available for the children.

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Limit the amount of electronic devices, whether that be actual devices in the home time spent on devices or in front of devices( TV).

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One of the biggest things she suggested was at families at least have one meal together every day.

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Approach 1 — Teaching Teach the importance of media awareness “Technology is going to play a huge part in your child's life, if it doesn't already,” Dr. Tammy Finch says, “The problem is that children's brains aren't ready for this powerful new tool. So that means we have to function as that part of the brain that they don't have … I allow a lot of independence, until you cross that line into doing something that's unsafe or dangerous, and then I'm all over you.”

As you keep track and monitor your child’s media use, You will be able to get to know your children better and you will be able to know how to help your child and be aware if they are in any danger. Your child may get frustrated with you and feel that you are being a “helicopter” parent, so teach your children the importance of what you are teaching them. When you explain why you are teaching them rather than just what, they gain an understanding as to why it is important to be careful on social media. Your children will feel respected because their parents trust them enough to explain why they are doing what they are doing. It can help build mutual trust.

Tammy Finch a psychologist said, “Educate yourself. Educate your child. Stay on top of it. Enforce consequences.

Have a lot of dialogue about it,” she said. “You only gradually allow them more independence and freedom as they demonstrate they're capable of using it responsibly.”

“If parents are teaching their children how to use media properly and if they put restrictions like time limits and accessibility and educate their kids on the dangers of posting things online, then media can be used effectively. It’s important to teach kids that media can be potentially harmful.” (Dr. Tristan)

“’It takes a village to raise a child’ is an old adage that helps us understand we are not alone — reach out, seek help, and build better lives — together!

What the Experts Say: We need to be active in our child’s online experience and make sure we are setting a good example.

We do this by: 

becoming informed ourselves

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having access to your child’s accounts and friending those accounts

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we need to talk with them about the dangers of social media and how to report any problems

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Keep the computer in a centrally located room in the house like a family room

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Discourage meanness, gossip and posting anything embarrassing or untrue

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There is no real privacy online, for you or your child, so being clear about privacy is key to maintaining proper social skills.

Approach 2 — Prioritize Family Time Be clear that family time will be spent together without electronic distractions.

This can be done by eating family dinner together every night if possible. Let your children and spouse know that it is a priority and that you will do it together without any devices.

“Eating together at mealtime provides opportunities for the family to communicate with one another. In sharing stories, ideas, thoughts and feelings strong and meaningful relationships are formed. Eating together as a family has several critical benefits for a child’s development including: physical, social, emotional, academic, behavioral and for overall development of family connections. Current research suggests that there are many aspects of family mealtimes that are correlated to children's health and wellbeing.”

“One study points out some of the major advantages of family meals, identifying that one benefit of eating meals together is the effect on strengthening family bonds; another is family meals provide a daily time for the whole family to be together; and ultimately for younger children, having

routine family meals can provide a sense of security and a feeling of belonging in the family.”

At first, family members may not want to spend time together so it may require some patience to have others excited about family time. As your kids will know family time is important to you, they may start to follow your example and make family time important to them. It will require a lot of effort and patience on your part to break from bad habits and bring the family together.

“The family is an agent of socialization and the primary source of influence behind the formation of personality and the growth of a child. The amount of time that both children and adults spend using media devices is an indicator of the role that media plays in family life.” (Proceedings of the New York State Communication Association)

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Approach 3 — Listen, Love, Being an Example

Teach Children with love, and let them know you love them Teach children with love, and let them know that you love them.

What can we do now? 

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Statistics have shown families who get together for at least one meal a day have a lower rate of drug abuse.

Families learn to communicate when they have at least one meal together.

We need to minimize TV time, videogame time, and no cell phones until high school. She also suggested that teenagers do not need smartphones.

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As communities we need to be concerned about the children coming up in the world today, and look for ways to support these children and their parents.

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We teach our children through love, logic, and quality time.

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We must take ownership and become aware of our family dysfunction and then look for ways to become more functional.

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Be patient with yourself

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Be patient with others.

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Practice what you learn.

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And remember, "Perfectionist parents seem to operate under the illusion that if they can just get their children to be perfect, they will be a perfect family. They put the burden of stability on the child to avoid facing the fact that they, as parents, cannot provide it. The child fails and becomes the scapegoat for family problems.

Once again, the child is saddled with the blame.”

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Don’t be afraid to seek professional help.

Giving a child love and letting them know they are loved, gives them positive attention that will help them grow in a positive way.

A Child counselor once said, “When children do not get attention, then they will do what it takes to get attention. Even if it is negative attention.

They want to be noticed.”

An anonymous adult said that he knew his parents loved him, and never gave up on him. This has helped him remove himself from the rebellious stage he went through. He also has tried to become like his parents and not give up on people that are struggling.

Brain images have now revealed that a mother’s love physically affects the volume of her child’s hippocampus. In the study, children of nurturing mothers had hippocampal volumes 10 percent larger than children whose mothers were not as nurturing. Research has suggested a link between a larger hippocampus and better memory.

Judith E. Carroll, the study’s lead author tells us, “If the child has love from parental figures they may be more protected from the impact of abuse and adult biological risk for health problems than those who don’t have that loving adult in their life.” That is, those who reported higher amounts of parental warmth and affection in their childhood had lower multisystem health risks.

Advantages: Knowing that you are loved as a child increases brain capacity, when you are older. Children that know they are loved are less likely to have depression and anxiety. The child is happier in general and is more prone to show love and caring to others.

Disadvantages: It can be hard to balance love and discipline, when a child over reacts or disobeys.

Showing love after discipline is easier said than done. Each child has different forms (love languages) of how they feel loved, and a parent has to know and understand their child to make sure the child knows they are loved.

Teach by Example The dictionary definition for “Example” is “a person or way of behaving that is seen as a model that should be followed.”

As parents we need to be doing our best to be the type of person we want our children to be, because children will follow what you do.

The country song “Watching You” by “Rodney Atkins” describes a son doing everything that his dad does. Talks, prays, and eats like his dad does. This is the same thing that the organization called Scan says about example, “You’re already a role model for your child. Every time you say something, take an action or have a reaction to someone or something, your child is observing your behavior. As infants, this is how children gain language skills and eventually learn to talk.”

On average, adolescents whose fathers are more involved in their lives and discuss important decisions with them exhibit lower levels of aggression and antisocial behavior than peers who experience less paternal involvement.

Listen Sit down with your children, get on eye-level, and FOCUS (All Pro Dad, Family Relationships) Don’t act with shock, anger, or rejection as that might make the confider silent again. (Reeves, Linda S) We talked to our son about a deep topic, and listened and answered his questions openly and honestly.

The following day he started asking more questions, and opened up to more topics. He was excited, and said, “I didn’t know I could ask these questions. I thought it was bad to ask them.”

Scientific studies show that most men aren’t as good at listening as women. Human males do not have the same neural connections between our brain hemispheres as females do, and this means some information we take in gets lost along the way. We really have to work hard at some cognitive skills, especially listening. And listening is essential to good parenting. (All Pro Dad, Family Relationships) As author Catherine Wallace writes, “Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what. If you don’t listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won’t tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.”

Advantages: Builds trust. Children will confide and be less likely to keep secrets from the parent. Creates a stronger relationship and bond between parent and child.

Organizations that help families 1. Center For Media Literacy – Educates Parents on how media affects kids.

2. Human Services -- Is an organization that focuses on meeting human needs. One branch is also dedicated to keeping children safe in our communities.

3. Scan -- Building Hope for Children & Families is about Parents being role models.

It provides support to parents in raising children in a positive way.

4. Provo Center for Couples and Families -- Dr. Tristin, Family Counseling 5. LDS Family Services – Family Counseling and addiction recovery 6. New York State Communication Association – General information study done by group to find the effects of media on the family.

7. ALANON – Support group for children of Alcoholics 8. AA – Alcoholics Anonymous 9. ACODF – Support group for adult children of dysfunctional families

These are more sources for families to look into as they try to improve the lives their families can lead. There are no sure answers but, if we don’t try at all we have lost the battle before we start.

Websites for further understanding 1. http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/10-commandments-good-parenting 2. http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/media_influences_teenagers.html 3. http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/five_tips_for_helping_teens_manage_technology 4. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1070813/ 5. http://www.americanhumane.org/children/stop-child-abuse/fact-sheets/child-abuse-and-neglectstatistics.html 6. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-new-resilience/201310/why-the-impact-childabuse-extends-well-adulthood 7. https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/04/protection-from-pornography-a-christfocused-home?lang=eng 8. http://www.mothermag.com/parenting-today-vs-the-past/ 9. http://www.dhs.vic.gov.au/for-individuals/children,-families-and-young-people/childprotection/about-child-abuse/what-is-child-abuse/who-is-likely-to-be-abused-and-what-are-theeffects 10. http://www.livescience.com/18196-maternal-support-child-brain.html 11

Monique Snow Brooke Alston Josh Pratt Lisa Oakley

Parenting: Creating productive kids through successful families Appendix

Meet our Team

December 2015 Volume 1, Issue 1

Monique Snow I am currently a Senior at BYU Idaho in Rexburg Idaho, minoring in communications, while living on the Central Coast of California. I am a postal worker with the Los Osos Post Office and I volunteer at the Elks Lodge as a teacher of swimming for the past 10 years.

Brooke Alston My name is Brooke Alston I am a senior at BYU-I majoring in Interdisciplinary studies with a concentration in clothing design and construction with minors in both business and communications. I grew up in southern California and lived half my life either at the pool or the beach. I currently live in Utah with my husband and we are expecting our first child.

Lisa Oakley I am Lisa Oakley and am a University Studies Major, with emphasis in Home and Family Education, English and Communications. I am a mother of 7 children, 3 of which have served missions for our church and are also attending BYUI with me. I am currently living with my dad, helping with his wife (dementia), and learning how to blend 2 families without killing each other. I am looking forward to furthering my career in teaching the severely handicapped in the special needs programs in the public school system.

INSIDE THIS APPENDIX Title Page……….…………….….……12 Meet the Team ………….……….…13 Why this topic………………………..14 What drew me to this topic…..…14 Personal Reflections ………..…...15 What did I contribute ..…………...16

Josh Pratt My name is Josh Pratt. I was born and raised in Utah. Served a LDS mission in California for two years. Started school at BYU-Idaho in 2007 doing night classes. I eventually moved back to Utah and started doing my classes online. I got married to my wife who had two children from a previous marriage, and am soon graduating with my Bachelors Degree.

How did I know—Lisa ..….….…….16 How did I know— Josh…………....17 How did I know — Monique …....21 How did I know — Brooke ……..24 Picture Citations …………………...26

Why we chose our Topic Josh — As I was thinking of a topic I realized I wanted to do a paper on how different types of parenting can effect children for good or bad.

Monique —- I believe we as the members found this issue to be profoundly important with so many families being broken apart in society today.

Lisa —- Our team selected this issue because Josh came up with the suggestion that Parenting is key in our society to produce sound, and focused children and help them become productive in Society.

Brooke — The reason we picked this topic is because Josh had the idea that it would be a great idea to have our topic based on Good/Bad parenting.

“{things} I need to know, and be able to use so that I can be a positive parental figure in my children’s lives” (Josh Pratt)

What drew me to this topic Josh — Being an instant dad, I wanted to do a paper that will help me learn things that I will need to know, and be able to use so that I can be a positive parental figure in my children’s lives.

Monique — With technology being the center of our lives watching what it is doing to our families. We are seeing so many families letting technology do the parenting for us.

Lisa — As a parent of 7, I have seen the effects of good and bad parenting and, having taken children under my wing when their parents failed, I recognize the need for education and understanding how we can identify, get help and find resolutions for the issues that come about from the home. The home is the center of the community – so this does so very much interest me.

Brooke — I think this topic is quite interesting; I’ve been able to observe throughout my life how parenting is such a huge issue in today’s world.

Many people have different ideas for parenting and I have seen first hand the effects of good and bad parenting. Parents are there to guide their children through this world and when they don’t do that properly there can be major consequences.

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My Personal Reflections — Josh

I have experienced frustration with the suggested programs we were asked to use to create this project. Downloading and trying to use the new ‘Adobe’ suggested program was very confusing and so I reverted back to Word which in a book like this has given me a bit of trouble.

So far as the work submitted is concerned, I have found that we need to increase our sources to the assignment parameters of 3 organizations, 3 websites, and 8 sources.

So far as the subject matter is concerned, I have found the information submitted to be on point and insightful – for instance, in the area of breaking the cycle as I agree that we tend to use skills and patterns that we knew in the past in the way we were raised and some of those are dangerous to our relationships with our children and the way they form relationships with us. It becomes incredibly necessary to change the way we parent so that our family centers, and the center of our communities, the family, is healthy and strong.

15

If there is a lack of attention it could lead to negligence. Negligence will add distrust and even resentment in the family. It can tear families apart. In the hustle and bustle of life we sometimes forget that little things affect kids in a big way. Every day counts and

everything affects them directly. If there are things in our lives like what I will talk about that take our attention and have our interest above our families, there will be negative consequence’s. Sometimes serious consequences.

Parenting tactics

My personal reflections — Lisa

Some of the things I have learned from doing this book is how many different things affect family life. There are so many little intrinsic things like raising your voice, how you use punishment, what sleeping schedules the kids follow and many other things that affect it.

One in particular is how much attention and love behind the attention you show.

Having seen negative effects of the topics in this paper I am committed to keep these things in check in my family. They have the potential to take over peace, trust, and even the family structure. Not all things are inherently bad, however overindulgence into even good things can be bad. That is why we need to decide as parents how much we will involve ourselves into these things.

My Personal Reflections — Monique As I was interviewing Jody Housman a certified family therapist it was very eye-opening to learn how many parents rely on mass media and technology to do the parenting for them, thus becoming an “absent parent” and what takes place in those families. That there are very simple things that we can do to begin to change our parenting styles to make an everlasting effect on our children and our families.

My Personal Reflections — Brooke Since researching into this topic I have been able to go back and think about all the good and bad examples of parenting I have observed growing up. I remember having a friend who was allowed to do whatever she wanted. Her parents decided that it was okay even at a very young age to let her make all her own decisions. I felt like her parents loved her but were trying to be more “friends” than parents. She ended up making some very sad choices later on and is very unhappy.

I’ve also seen friends being neglected by ones of their parents and when that parent is home the kids just long for their attention and are sad when they don’t receive the love they need. I think it’s interesting how important it is for kids to get the right amount of attention and love from their parents in order for them to be happy.

What did I contribute?

Monique — I was asked as by my team members to talk about the ramifications of bad parenting and how it is affected by the pornography and mass media. And the effects on the family.

Josh — My assignment was to gather information on the background and nature of the issue. I also focused on when parenting causes negative effects on children, and possible solutions. We have decided to work on different sub categories, for the topic we have chosen. We have been contacting our editor about who is doing what and correlating to get a well-rounded book full of information on the subject of good/ bad parenting.

Lisa — I have been researching how to manipulate the program we are to use so that I can put the final pieces in an orderly format. I have been responding to each

submitted assignment of my team on the discussion boards with suggestions and formatting of sources as well as editing their basics like punctuation, etc. I have also been emailing all members and directing them to sub-topics as well as direction in understanding their role in this issue book. I have been encouraging my teammates and been supportive. I have helped each team mate with source formatting to MLA. I have collected interview submissions, strategic resources, and suggestions from each member (those who have been submitted and emailed) so that I can create this appendix and the final project.

Brooke — As a group we decided to write about different sub categories with the major focus being bad parenting. My main focus is media parenting and its influence on children and family dynamics.

“Being able to discern what the impact of our media has on our children is a key skill for all parents, but doing something about it is essential.”

How did I know? — Lisa Oakley As the editor, I was not directly responsible for finding the sources, organizations and websites, but I did actively participate in helping my writers format theirs to MLA and reviewed their work, not only for mistakes grammatically but also for coherency and flow to our presentation.

Doing this allowed me to read the material that was being researched and supported. I enjoyed reviewing the websites and organization capabilities to help the families we are trying to reach through this book.

Creating a book that has a subject needing to flow to ease the reading of the reader was significant in learning about our topic and allowed me to understand much of the new issues that arise today due to technology.

Over all, I critiqued the submitted work of my writers and gave support for further assignments.

I only hope I was a help.

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How did I know? — Josh Pratt Gruber, Enid, and Joel W. Grube. "Adolescent Sexuality and the Media: A Review of Current Knowledge and Implications."

Western Journal of Medicine. Copyright 2000 BMJ Publishing Group, Mar. 2000. Web. 21 Nov. 2015.

A. Kids are becoming desensitized to the morality that should exist between couples married to each other.

B. Diminished perspective of the value of people.

C. Moral relativism increases.

D. Increases likelihood of rape and other crimes later in life.

E. Increase in likelihood of having premarital sex.

"Child Abuse and Neglect Statistics." Child Abuse Statistics – Get the Facts of Child Abuse and Neglect. American Humane Association, 2007. Web. 30 Nov. 2015.

A. The rate for abuse and neglect in 1999 was 829,000 and in 2005 it was 899,000.

B. As of September 30, 2004, 517,000 children lived in foster homes because they could not safely remain in their own homes.

C. Adults with substance use disorders are 2.7 times more likely to report abusive behavior and 4.2 times more likely to report neglectful behavior toward their children.

D. According to NCANDS, in 2005, 79.4 percent of perpetrators were parents and 6.8 percent were other relatives.

E. Percentage of children maltreated in 2005: Neglect 62.8% Physical abuse 16.6% Sexual abuse

9.3%

Emotional/psychological abuse 7.1% Medical neglect 2.0% Other 14.3%

LaBier, Douglas, PHD. "Why The Issue Of Child Abuse Extends Well Into Adulthood." Psychology Today. Sussex Publisher LLC, 19 Oct. 2013. Web. 30 Nov. 2015.

A. Judith E. Carroll, the study’s lead author, “If the child has love from parental figures they may be more protected from the impact of abuse on adult biological risk for health problems than those who don’t have that loving adult in their life.” That is, those who reported higher amounts of parental warmth and affection in their childhood had lower multisystem health risks.

B. researchers suggest that toxic childhood stress alters neural responses to stress, boosting the emotional and physical arousal to threat, and making it more difficult for that reaction to be shut off.

C. researchers at UCLA and published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (link is external), examined the effects of abuse and corresponding lack of parental affection across the body’s entire regulatory system. It found strong links between negative early life experiences and health, across the board.

D. abuse takes many forms, beyond the physical. Recent research finds that its impact is long lasting. It extends far into adulthood,

How did I know? (cont.)— Josh Pratt where it affects both physical and mental health. As Faulkner wrote (link is external), “The past is never dead. It’s not even past.”

E. Parental neglect; indifference to the child’s needs or temperament; outright humiliation; deliberate denigration. All may be fueled by the parent’s own self-hatred, jealousy, or narcissism.

Reeves, Linda S. "Protection from Pornography-a Christ Focused Home." LDS.org. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, Apr. 2014. Web. 17 Nov. 2015.

A. Don’t act with shock, anger, or rejection as that might make the confider silent again.

B. Pornography is accessed more on mobile devices than on computers.

C. The greatest filter in the world, the only one that will ultimately work, is the personal internal filter that comes from a deep and abiding testimony of our Heavenly Father’s love and our Savior’s atoning sacrifice for each one of us.

D. As we have daily prayer and scripture study and have weekly family home evening we can expect Heavenly Fathers blessings and help to combat life’s challenges.

E. When our conduct, speech and desires represent Christ, we will be blessed as we seek to establish our families.

Kicinski-Mccoy, James. "Parenting Today vs. The Past." How Parenting Has Changed Since We Were Kids. MOTHER RSS, 15 Oct. 2014. Web. 28 Nov. 2015.

A. The only way to speak to other people in your home was by actually speaking to them.

B. We would rent family movies on the weekends.

C. We went to the mall to go shopping and hang out.

D. Our parents would ask family or friends for advice on parenting or read books on the subject.

E. We had a lot more face to face interaction.

Interview: My parents (former Bishop Pratt and former R.S. President Pratt) A. There are so many more problems that can come up, need to communicate more and ask questions. Kids require more attention today so they do not get into additions etc. Kids need to know where parents stand and where they stand religiously. B. People no longer need to go out to get pornography, it is already in their homes. Parents need to take an active role and set boundaries about how and where kids use media.

C. Pornography creates contention, trust level between parents lowers and creates bad role models for children. It affects the parent’s judgement that will create side effects later.

D. If children see abuse they learn the characteristics, and creates uncertainty about relationships. It then becomes normal and can pass to the next generation. Emotional abuse has increased due to pornography causes emotional detachment, and degrades the other spouse.

E. Media causes insecurity in each person when pictures create perfection. No one can equally compare themselves to a picture.

There is no negativity to pornography is what is portrayed, but it is a vicious circle that ruined people’s lives, and many people have ended up in jail for issues with sex offenders. It brakes families and disrupts relationships.

How did I know? (cont.)— Josh Pratt

Interview: My Bishop A. Generation now feels that if there is no hope they quit, the older generation goes and makes it work. This generation needs more assurance. We do not have pain and don’t know how to handle it. Pain is an excuse not to behave in this generation. Everything is instant now.

B. Pornography has created a lot more distrust in parents and children, and spouses. A plague. Movies don’t show a married couple with children. It is accepted to have premarital sex etc. BYU podcasts- LDS standards protect against aids. Radio broadcast gives the people a model of good examples and people work toward that.

C. Lead to parents controlling, makes you have to due what you can so it isn’t easily accessible. Have to learn to back off and let them fail. They then could come back. Micro managing doesn’t work. If the parent is in pornography removes themselves and creates an isolated parent and distant parent.

D. Destroys families, siblings take moms side or dads side etc. Loose trust and family relationships, too much emotional abuse.

Silent treatment can be a form of abuse. Weakens relationships.

E. It affects men to either give them bigger ego and inflates them horribly. Or it makes them stupid forgetting everything and the wife is in charge. Women are objects there to please men and do their work. Media says women are nothing more than a tool.

Then women think they have to be certain ways. Terrible influence.

Castro, Joseph. "How a Mother's Love Changes a Child's Brain." Live Science. Live Science, 30 Jan. 2012. Web. 3 Dec. 2015.

A. Nurturing a child early in life may help him or her develop a larger hippocampus, the brain.

B. Brain images have now revealed that a mother’s love physically affects the volume of her child’s hippocampus. In the study, children of nurturing mothers had hippocampal volumes 10 percent larger than children whose mothers were not as nurturing.

Research has suggested a link between a larger hippocampus and better memory.

C. "It's now clear that a caregiver's nurturing is not only good for the development of the child, but it actually physically changes the brain," Luby said. _____________________________________________________________________________________ Websites: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1070813/ http://www.americanhumane.org/children/stop-child-abuse/fact-sheets/child-abuse-and-neglect-statistics.html https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-new-resilience/201310/why-the-impact-child-abuse-extends-well-adulthood https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/04/protection-from-pornography-a-christ-focused-home?lang=eng http://www.mothermag.com/parenting-today-vs-the-past/ http://www.dhs.vic.gov.au/for-individuals/children,-families-and-young-people/child-protection/about-child-abuse/what-ischild-abuse/who-is-likely-to-be-abused-and-what-are-the-effects

http://www.livescience.com/18196-maternal-support-child-brain.html _________________________________________________________________________________________

How did I know? (cont.)— Josh Pratt Organizations: 1. Center For Media Literacy – Educates Parents on how media affects kids.

2. Human Services -- Is an organization that focuses on meeting human needs. One branch is also dedicated to keeping children safe in our communities.

3. Scan -- Building Hope for Children & Families is about Parents being role models. It provides support to parents in raising children in a positive way.

How did I know? — Monique Snow Effects of Bad Parenting One Your Child." Effects of Bad Parenting on Your Child. American SPCC, 17 July 2014. Web. 5 Dec. 2015.

A. inability to have long-lasting friendships B. psychological disorders in children C. depression/aggression /anxiety D. overindulgence E. adult employment and earning

A Child’s Early Home Environment Has Long-term Effects on Development." A Child’s Early Home Environment Has Long-term Effects on Development. (n.d.): n. pag. Www.urbanchildinstitute.org . The Urban Child Institute. Web A. Less time with children (always going to work trying to make ends meet) B. Fewer stimulating experiences (inability to buy interactive toys) C. Possible solutions: Better education D. Promoting better language skills, more curiosity

Healthy Schools and Obesity Prevention." Http://www.cdc.gov/healthyschools/obesity/facts.htm. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 27 Aug. 2015. Web. 5 Dec. 2015.

A.cardiovascular disease (National Center for Health Statistics. Health, United States, 2011: With Special Features on Socioeconomic Status and Health . Hyattsville, MD; U.S. Department of Health and Human Services; 2012.)

B. pre-diabetic conditions(Li C, Ford ES, Zhao G, Mokdad AH. Prevalence of pre-diabetes and its association with clustering of cardiometabolic risk factors and hyperinsulinemia among US adolescents: NHANES 2005–2006. Diabetes Care2009;32:342–347.

CDC. National diabetes fact sheet: national estimates and general information on diabetes and prediabetes in the United States, 2011[PDF - 2.7 MB]. Atlanta, GA: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

C. sleep apnea D. social and psychological problems E. associated with increase in strokes, certain cancers. Arthritis(Office of the Surgeon General. The Surgeon General's Vision for a Healthy and Fit Nation.[PDF - 840 KB]. Rockville, MD, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services; 2010.)

Consequences of Addiction." Summitbehavioralhealth.com. Summit Behavioral Health, 2015. Web. 5 Dec. 2015.

A. health effects-organ damage, cancers, infertility, HIV B. neurological effects,-memory loss C. emotional effects-depression, aggression, mood swings, paranoia D. legal consequences, jail time, driver’s license suspended

How did I know? (cont.) — Monique Snow E. social effects-Loss of job, divorce, its social outcast

Impact of Media Use on Children and Youth." Paedriatrics and Child Health. Canadian Paediactric Society, May-June 2003. Web. 5 Dec. 2015.

A. increase in childhood obesity Ostbye T, Pomerleau J, White M, Coolich M, McWhinney J. Food and nutrition in Canadian “prime time” television commercials. Can J Public Health. 1993;84:370–4.[PubMed]Riggs Rudolph G. Psychosocial parameters of internet addiction<http://library.albany.edu/briggs/addiction.html> (Version current at May 16, 2003).

B. irresponsible sexual behavior Brown JD, Greenberg BS, Buerkel-Rothfuss NL. Mass media, sex and sexuality. Adolesc Med. 1993;4:511–25. [PubMed] American Academy of Pediatrics, Committee on Public Education Sexuality, contraception and the media. Pediatrics. 2001;107:191–4. [PubMed] C. may lead to increase violent behavior in children (Johnson JG, Cohen P, Smailes EM, Kasen S, Brook JS. Television viewing and aggressive behavior during adolescence and adulthood. Science. 2002;295:2468–71. [PubMed]) Josephson WL. Television Violence: A Review of the Effects on Children of Different Ages. Ottawa: National Clearinghouse on Family Violence; 1995.

D. Deterrent effect on learning and academic performance (Strasburger VC. Does television affect learning and school performance? Pediatrician.1986;38:141–7. [PubMed)

Forward, Susan, and Craig Buck. Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life. New York: Bantam, 1989. Print.

Identifiers of Toxic Parenting Dayton, Tian. "When Adult Children of Alcoholics Become Moms." When Adult Children of Alcoholics Become Moms. The Huffington Post, 1 Sept. 2015. Web. 1 Dec. 2015.

A. Becoming aware of the dysfunction in your family.

B. Taking ownership the problem.

C. Compare & Contrast your family with the functional families.

D. Do your homework (see professional counseling in specific areas where your family needs).

E. PTDS Lambert, Dorinda J., Phd. "Dysfunctional Families: Recognizing and Overcoming Their Effects." Dysfunctional Families: Recognizing and Overcoming Their Effects. Kansas State University, 19 Aug. 2015. Web. 1 Dec. 2015.

A. Seek professional help.

B. Be patient with oneself.

C. Be patient with others.

D. Practice what you are learning.

E. “Perfectionist parents seem to operate under the illusion that if they can just get their children to be perfect, they will be a perfect family. They put the burden of stability on the child to avoid facing the fact that they, as parents, cannot provide it. The child

How did I know? (cont.) — Monique Snow fails and becomes the scapegoat for family problems. Once again, the child is saddled with the blame.” _______________________________________________________________________________________ Websites: http://www.k-state.edu/counseling/topics/relationships/dysfunc.html#overcometheeffects 18 question quiz to see how dysfunctional you are and where your family is. http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/3551-toxic-parents-overcoming-their-hurtful-legacy-and-reclaiming-your-life Quotes that help you understand what toxic parenting may look like. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-tian-dayton/adult-children-of-alcoholics_b_1835677.html Looking into the lives of Adults that had alcoholic parents as children

________________________________________________________________________________________ Organizations: 1. ALANON – Support group for children of Alcoholics 2. AA – Alcoholics Anonymous 3. ACODF – Support group for adult children of dysfunctional families

How did I know? — Brooke Alston Exercise and Depression." WebMD. Ed. Joseph Goldberg. WebMD, LLC, 19 Feb. 2019. Web. 20 Nov. 2015.

A. When you exercise, your body releases chemicals called endorphins. These endorphins interact with the receptors in your brain that reduce your perception of pain.

B. Exercise has proven to: 

Reduce stress



Ward off anxiety and feelings of depression



Boost self-esteem



Improve sleep

C. Is Exercise a Treatment for Clinical Depression? Research has shown that exercise is an effective but often underused treatment for mild to moderate depression.

D. Exercise also has these added health benefits: 

It strengthens your heart.



It increases energy levels.



It lowers blood pressure.



It improves muscle tone and strength.



It strengthens and builds bones.



It helps reduce body fat.



It makes you look fit and healthy.

E. How Often Should I Exercise to Ease Depression? Try to exercise at least 20 to 30 minutes, three times a week. Studies indicate that exercising four or five times a week is even better. Take it easy if you are just beginning. Start exercising for 20 minutes.

Then you can build up to 30 minutes.

Violence in the Media — Psychologists Study TV and Video Game Violence for Potential Harmful Effects. American Psychological Association, Nov. 2013. Web. 7 Dec. 2015.

A. Children may become less sensitive to the pain and suffering of others.

B. Children may be more fearful of the world around them.

C. Children may be more likely to behave in aggressive or harmful ways toward others.

D. Children who watched many hours of violence on television when they were in elementary school tended to show higher levels of aggressive behavior when they became teenagers.

E. Children who watched a lot of TV violence when they were 8 years old were more likely to be arrested and prosecuted for criminal acts as adults.

How did I know? (cont.) — Brooke Alston Media and Children. American Academy of Pediatrics, n.d. Web. 7 Dec. 2015.

A. Today's children are spending an average of seven hours a day on entertainment media, including televisions, computers, phones and other electronic devices.

B. Studies have shown that excessive media use can lead to attention problems, school difficulties, sleep and eating disorders, and obesity.

C. The Internet and cell phones can provide platforms for illicit and risky behaviors.

D. Television and other entertainment media should be avoided for infants and children under age 2. A child's brain develops rapidly during these first years, and young children learn best by interacting with people, not screens.

E. By limiting screen time and offering educational media and non-electronic formats such as books, newspapers and board games, and watching television with their children, parents can help guide their children's media experience.

Dawson, Makenzie. "Parenting in a Fakebook World: How Social Media Is Effecting Your Parenting." Parents Magazine, Aug. 2015. Web. 7 Dec. 2015.

A. In an exclusive Parents survey of more than 2,000 respondents, 79 percent said other parents’ over share on social media -- yet only 32 percent of us think we over share ourselves.

B. Sixty-one percent of Parents' survey respondents believe parents brag too much on social media.

C. Sixty-seven percent think most parents aren't honest on social media about the realities of parenting.

D. Twenty-four percent of our survey respondents say they worry what they post will come back to haunt their child as a teen or an adult, while 32 percent have deleted a post about their child that they feared was over sharing.

E. We don’t know how social media will affect our children in the future.

Geddes, Jennifer Kelley. "The Secret Life of Kids Online: What You Need to Know." The Secret Life of Kids Online: What You Need to Know. Parenting, 2015. Web. 7 Dec. 2015.

A. 30% of parents admitted on Parenting.com that they allow their tweens to log on social media before the age of 13.

B. According to the AAP, more than half of adolescents visit a social media site more than once a day, and 75% have cell phones, which are often used for texting and instant messaging.

C. Kids are more at risk to things called Facebook depression from using social media excessively.

D. Kid’s spend less and less time interacting with others face o face and more time on social media.

E. Kid’s will follow your example and it is important to be involved in their social media life so you can keep an eye on them.

How did I know? (cont.) — Brooke Alston Lamb, Amanda. "Parenting in a Social Media Age: 'This Is Part of Raising Children Now." WRAL.com, 26 Feb. 2013.

Web. 7 Dec. 2015.

A. Parents need to be the guardrails on the superhighway of online information.

B. Kids can be exposed to cyber bulling or be a part of the cyber bullying.

C. When children make a bad choice online, it can be public and permanent.

D. Children are able to post things online that might hurt others or damage their own reputations.

E. Technology is going to play a huge part in your child's life, if it doesn't already.

Van Pelt, Jennifer, MA. "Is 'Facebook Depression' for Real?" Social Work Today. Great Valley Publishing Company, Inc, 2015. Web. 7 Dec. 2015.

A. Facebook depression, according to the AAP report, may result if, for example, young users see status updates, wall posts, and photos that make them feel unpopular. Social media sites may have greater psychosocial impact on kids with low self-esteem or who are already otherwise troubled.

B. Studies have found that adolescents often disclose feelings of depression on Facebook.

C. Addiction to and obsession with Facebook and other social networking sites has been documented in users of all ages.

For troubled children and teens, overuse may adversely affect mental health, and parents should monitor usage.

D. If the child’s or teen’s life involves hours online per day or social networking seems to be having a negative impact on them, then limiting or even eliminating their social media access should be considered.

E. Social workers can help in individual and family therapy by encouraging new interests and activities, such as sports, clubs at school, arts, music, or church youth groups.

Villegas, Allesondro. "The Influence of Technology on Family Dynamics." Proceedings of the New York State Communications Association. RWU, 17 Oct. 2013. Web. 7 Dec. 2015.

A. The family is an agent of socialization and the primary source of influence behind the formation of personality and the growth of a child. The amount of time that both children and adults spend using media devices is an indicator of the role that media plays in family life.

B. In 2010, more than 77% of all American households had a computer, and 71% had home Internet access service.

C. 8- to 18-year-olds spends an average of 7 ½ hours a day, seven days a week with media. 66% of all 8- to 18-year-olds own their own cell phone. On average, 8- to 18-year-olds spend 33 minutes talking on a cell phone, and about an hour and a half sending and receiving text messages daily. 64% of 8- to 18-year-olds uses the computer for entertainment purposes with the three most popular activities being social networking sites, computer games, and watching videos.

D. Just under half of all 8- to 18-year-olds say they live in a home where the television is left on most of the time and 64% say the TV is usually on during meals.

How did I know? (cont.) — Brooke Alston E. In a study of the psychological and social impact of the Internet on involvement and well-being, although the Internet was used primarily for communication, a relationship was found between greater use of the Internet and declines in communication between family members within the household. _________________________________________________________________________________________ Websites: 1. http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/10-commandments-good-parenting This site give several tips on how to be a better parent.

2. http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/media_influences_teenagers.html This site has information on how to help children monitor media.

3. http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/five_tips_for_helping_teens_manage_technology This Site helps parents know how to help their teens monitor their social media use. _________________________________________________________________________________________ Organizations: 1. Provo Center for Couples and Families -- Dr. Tristin, Family Counseling 2. LDS Family Services – Family Counseling and addiction recovery 3. New York State Communication Association – General information study done by group to find the effects of media on the family. ________________________________________________________________________________________ Pictures cited: All the used baby pictures are from our editor, Lisa Oakley, of her granddaughter Bentley.

The books and paper pics are stock pictures from this template.

Exceptions: Kids texting: www.sodahead.com Girl hiding screen from mom: www.dotcomplicated.com / Zuckerberg Media