Kicking back and relaxing with family

BY CLAIRE LYNCH

My brothers and sisters and I decided to meet after the long hiatus called the pandemic. Since people were married and lived in different states, getting together wasn’t as easy as it used to be. Still, we wanted to reunite in person, not Zoom or Skype or use whatever gadgets we had on our computers.

That was fine once we all got used to the technology but it didn’t compare to getting together at a restaurant or someone’s home where we could sit back, tell a few stories and enjoy each other’s company. We longed to share a dinner and relax over a long, drawn-out dessert.

In talking with my younger sister, Susan, by phone about finding a location and needing to find a restaurant with good food and the chance for us to hang out for a while, Susan surprised me by saying that she and her husband, Don, had decided that we could make it a weekend getaway at their house. They live in Sayreville, N.J. and I said that would be great! Their home isn’t far from I-95 so our four other brothers and sisters and their spouses plus my three cousins and their spouses could find it, no problem.

Don got the propane grill ready outside so we ate dinner in short order then kicked back over dessert. While chatting, Susan said there “is” life after retirement. As a case in point, she retired a year ago and decided to volun- teer at a local arboretum. She started writing a book about plants and trees - they had always fascinated her - and she figured why not get up close and personal to get more specific information. Knowing that Susan is happiest surrounded by trees and plants, I gave her the thumbs up when she spoke about the arboretum.

My brother, Peter, has been volunteering as a docent in a museum for 15 years. As someone who really appreciates art and art history, when he speaks his love for the various pieces of artwork comes across. After being trained by the museum staff he is a tour guide for visitors to the museum and one of several people who offers educational programs to the public. Peter enjoys meeting people and inevitably they get chatting about different topics.

My cousin, Bill, retired four years ago and he and his wife, Janine, bought a house in Easton, Pa. With Janine’s retirement three years ago he wanted to build an art studio for her to paint and draw whenever she wants. He spoke with a construction manager and they figured out how to set up a small building, complete with lots of windows and sunlight, that was climate controlled and near the house but separate. The builder laid a colorful slate walkway, the “artist’s bridge,” connecting the main house to the art studio so all Janine had to do was walk about 20 feet, unlock the door and she was in her own creative domain.

Janine said Bill surprised her not only with the art studio but with a large easel plus some paints and brushes. Coming home one day and finding it all completed, Janine said she was pleased that it was all hers. She added that Bill has his man cave and now she has her own space.

My other cousin Leslie brought up her husband Wayne’s recent volunteer activity. It was different! Wayne explained that they’d gotten a black Labrador retriever a few months ago and he was interested in having Dixie become a pet therapy dog meaning she would be registered as an emotional support animal.

“I took her to be evaluated,” Wayne told the others, “and she passed with flying colors. Pet therapy dogs need to have a calm temperament and can’t be distracted by other dogs or things around them. Once I got the paperwork about Dixie’s certification, I contacted our local hospital to see if she could greet patients and visitors.”

They said yes so Wayne asked another volunteer, Jake, to assist with Dixie. “Our first stop was the hospital’s lobby,” Wayne said. “Wearing her ‘pet therapy’ vest so people could see why Dixie was there, within just a few minutes people entering the lobby came right over to us. Bending down to pet Dixie, who was a medium-sized dog, much bigger than a chihuahua but smaller than an Irish wolfhound, people got such a kick out of her. Visitors were there on important business but I could see the tension melt away from their shoulders when they said hi to Dixie and petted her.

“After a while we went to the patient floors and we got the same responsethe patients took right away to Dixie. They loved seeing her. One woman said that our visit gave her room a homey feeling - it didn’t feel as much like a hospital anymore.

“We moved on to Pediatrics and many of the children wanted to see Dixie up close and pet her. An eight-year-old boy broke out into a huge smile when he saw us entering then he said that he has a black poodle named Roscoe at home. Seeing Dixie reminded him so much of Roscoe.

“I thought Dixie got as much of a kick out of it as the people did so our visit was very productive. We’ve gone back a few times and it’s a highlight of my week. As a new retiree I didn’t want to sit at home too much - I wanted to stay busy.” you become a brutal tax collector AND carry through and put the tax you collected into your safe savings place. No slacking, no IOUs.

Our weekend getaway was filled with lots of stories but Wayne’s story about Dixie was my favorite. It took the cake. Susan wanted to adopt Dixie sight unseen and Janine said she’d make a perfect companion in her art studio and for them in their home. Laughing, Bill reminded them that they already had a dog of their own, a golden retriever named Biscuit, so that wouldn’t happen but of course Wayne, Leslie and Dixie could visit any time.

NO. 2: IMPOSE A MORATORIUM

Select a specific denomination of currency, like the $1 or $5 bill you will not spend this year, but save instead. Forbid yourself and get very strict. On second thought, why not just go with the $5? Your stash will grow much faster if you refuse to spend any Abe Lincolns in 2023.

NO. 3: HOARD THE COUPON SAVINGS

Here’s one way to do that if you are still working with paper coupons: When you grocery shop, ask the clerk to total your order and then pay for it -- however you do it. Then hand her the coupons and watch your total plummet. Since you’ve already paid, the clerk should hand back the cash equal to your coupon savings. Quickly, stash it in your cash savings so you are not overly tempted to spend it.

As digital coupons become more popular, the end result can be the same, but you will need to find a way to transfer cash from your digital accounts into your savings.

If available, open a savings account at the bank branch located in the supermarket. It’s easy to stop on your way out to make a savings deposit -- even if it’s super small. Never forget this principle when it comes to money and lots of other things in life: It all adds up.

NO. 4: RACK UP REBATES

They’re coming back in a big way as retailers want to make their products appear cheaper without actually reducing the price. They offer a rebate, knowing that only a tiny percentage of consumers who buy the item will ever carry through.

No matter how small the rebate or complicated the process, promise you will not be among the lazy bunch in 2023. Apply for, follow up and then stash those rebates as they arrive!

HINT: Open your free Rakuten account (more info at EverydayCheapskate. com/rakuten). It is so easy. Then, in the future, as you go to an online site that participates, you’ll get a little reminder to activate your Rakuten for that site with a single click. Should you make a purchase, you will begin to rack up lots of little amounts. I just got a Rakuten rebate for $4.24. And I love every penny of it because (did I already say this?) it all adds up!

NO. 5: DRINK WATER

Pay yourself a bonus like a dollar or two each time you eat out, and opt for water instead of a pricey beverage. And make that per person at the table. Don’t be a slacker in your obligation to pay up. And remember, no IOUs are allowed.

NO. 6: MAKE A SWITCH

Opt to exercise outdoors for the next 12 months instead of paying a gym fee. Or, determine you’ll ride the subway instead of jumping into a cab. Identify a name brand you will leave on the shelf this year in favor of its store brand equivalent. Then stash what you do not spend.

NO. 7: GIVE IT UP

Pick one thing you will sacrifice this year -- just cut it out. Stash the amount you would have spent on whatever it is -- regular manicures, French fries, gourmet coffee, cigarettes -- into your savings container or account. You could always do your own manicures, swear off junk food or brew your own coffee for a year. As for that smoking habit, just imagine all the dough for your stash if you give that up.

NO. 8: TRICK YOURSELF

Whenever you write a check (checking accounts with their accompanying checkbooks have not completely disappeared; actually, it’s still an excellent way to manage money), record the amount rounded up to the next dollar. Then deduct that rounded-up amount from the balance. At the end of the month, reconcile your account, then withdraw and stash the “oops!” overage.

Mary invites you to visit her at EverydayCheapskate.com, where this column is archived complete with links and resources for all recommended products and services. Mary invites questions and comments at https://www.everydaycheapskate.com/ contact/, “Ask Mary.” This column will answer questions of general interest, but letters cannot be answered individually. Mary Hunt is the founder of EverydayCheapskate.com, a frugal living blog, and the author of the book “Debt-Proof Living.”

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