A Stellar Romance... Well, Sort Of

brother Apollo sent a scorpion to sting and kill Orion, but the plan failed. So, Apollo instead tricked Artemis into fatally shooting Orion with an arrow.

In honor of Orion’s great hunting skills, Artemis’ father Zeus (Jupiter in Roman mythology) placed him prominently in the heavens, along with his two hunting dogs Canis Major and Canis Minor. And in a cruel act of celestial taunting, he placed the sisters of the Pleiades and Hyades in front of Orion, but forever beyond his reach. And to protect the hunter for all time, Zeus placed the scorpion (Scorpius) on the opposite side of the sky so that the two could never interact again.

This week, stargazers can find some of these characters in the evening sky. Orion is outlined by its familiar hourglass shape: its two northernmost stars mark his shoulders while those on the southern end mark his knees. In the middle appears a line of three equally bright stars forming his belt from which hangs his sword... or so they tell us.

By following his three belt stars westward, you will soon encounter the bright star Aldebaran and the V-shaped Hyades. Continue past this star grouping and you’ll find the delicate shimmering cluster known as the Seven Sisters, aka the Pleiades.

Follow Orion’s belt stars in the opposite direction and you’ll find Sirius, the brightest star in all the heavens, and a diamond in the collar of Canis Major, Orion’s great hunting dog. Canis Minor appears as a tiny star grouping to its northeast, marked by its only bright star Procyon.

And the scorpion? Well, you won’t find him anywhere. This constellation rises as Orion sets, and sets as Orion rises, just as Zeus had arranged.

This week, if the sky is clear where

Hide and Seek Valentine

BY TRACY BECKERMAN

After 30 years of marriage, you wouldn’t think I would hold out much hope that my husband would remember Valentine’s Day and get me a gift. Still, eternal optimist that I am, I kept my fingers crossed for something small and shiny, or at least medium-sized and chocolaty, or possibly large and flowery.

It’s not unthinkable that he would forget Valentine’s Day since he doesn’t watch much TV or go into the card stores regularly and therefore would miss the barrage of reminders. But I was pretty sure that 30 years of me dropping subtle hints in the weeks before Valentine’s Day would have given him the idea that there was something important he needed to do on Feb. 14. Something that did not involve getting the oil changed in the car or replacing the batteries in the smoke detector.

“So, big day coming up, huh?” I teased.

“What?” he wondered.

“You know.”

“I do?”

“I think you do,” I replied.

“I don’t think so?” he said.

“So, you didn’t get anything?”

“For what?”

“You know,” I said coyly.

“I don’t,” he responded.

“You will,” I said.

“I’m sure,” he sighed.

He left the room shaking his head.

I was pretty sure he knew what I was talking about and he was just playing dumb so I wouldn’t start searching the house for my gift.

Not that I would do that. At least, not while he was home.

After he left for work, I began my quest. I looked in the obvious places first. I checked his dresser drawers, his shoes and his toiletry kit. Then I looked in his grill tool case, his desk drawer and his jacket pockets. The only thing I turned up were some receipts, a couple of coins and some lint. Frustrated by his superior hiding skills, I stopped and thought about where I would stash something for my wife if I were a man.

I remembered that he had a bag of gym clothes in the bottom of his closet that he sometimes forgot to empty into the laundry basket. He knew I would sooner go through the garbage then go through his gym bag, which made it the perfect place to hide a gift for me. As I threw open his closet door to retrieve the dirty gym bag, I suddenly became aware of another presence in the room.

“Ahem,” came a voice from the doorway. I looked over and saw my husband standing in the doorway.

I slammed the closet door shut so you live, bundle up and take your sweetie out for a stroll among the stars... what could possibly be more romantic? Visit Dennis Mammana hard it cracked right up the middle.

“W-w-what are you doing here?” I stammered.

“I forgot my gym bag. What are you doing?” he wondered.

I shrugged.

“Are you looking for your Valentine gift?” he asked suspiciously.

I beamed. “You got me something?”

“Not yet,” he said.

“But you are going to get me something?” I asked.

“Yes,” he replied.

“What?” I wondered eagerly.

“Apparently, a new closet door.”

Tracy Beckerman is the author of the Amazon Bestseller, “Barking at the Moon: A Story of Life, Love, and Kibble,” available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble online! You can visit her at www. tracybeckerman.com

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