Pedagogy News
Vol, 4| April 2023
CONNECTING WITH CHILDREN WHO CHALLENGE US
As early childhood educators, we are in a sector that puts people at the forefront of everything we do.
We have the privilege of contributing to the positive outcomes for the children and families we work with.
In fact, research shows that children’s development is greatly impacted by the opportunities they receive to actively participate, collaborate and relate with important people in their world (Ministery of Education, 2017).
The delight in getting playful with children. This image depicts joy and laughter as our little friends enjoy Bush Kindy, covering Miss Carissa in dirt!
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What is our role in Early Childhood?
We are in a unique position, as important people, to influence children’s learning and development positively or negatively. Of course, this can be easy to forget when nothing you have planned has worked out for the day.
It is easy to forget when the morning has been rough, and it seems everyone has turned off their “listening ears”. It is easy to forget when your attempts at interactions don’t seem to be reciprocated. It is also easy to forget when the child you are wanting to connect or interact with has some behaviours that challenge you.
Don't be afraid to be silly and play
Not all behaviours are challenging, some are simply behaviours that challenge us as adults. It is important to ask yourself if the behaviour is challenging or if it just challenges you and your expectations? Equally as important is our ability to join in. Children running around is play. It may not be the time and the place we want running to occur but that does not make running a challenging behaviour. Instead of stopping it, perhaps you could join in and redirect the running to a safer place.
Consider ways of joining in and extending children’s learning while running
Could we run a race instead?
Could we time how fast we can run from one end of the playground to the other?
Could we add hurdles in to extend on the gross motor development that is occurring?
What if we ran a relay to encourage social development?
Delight and be curious
Being present and open to play provides us with the opportunities to redirect and extend on children’s learning and interests
Practical ways to interacting
The good news is there are practical ways to engage with all children, so that even if you are feeling challenged you can still get the most out of your interactions with all children.
Children experience themselves through the eyes of their caregiver, that includes us. When we express curiosity and wonder, when we seek their help and advice, when we celebrate their victories and welcome them warmly, we are delighting in them. It tells children that they are well loved and valued (Powell, Cooper & Howell, 2014). Simply noticing what children are doing and encouraging or praising them is a good place to start. It communicates that you notice and acknowledge their presence.
Children’s positive engagement can often go unnoticed, whereas challenging behaviours often attract immediate attention. Make it a point to delight in the moments when children share unexpectedly, when they make the choice to walk instead of running out the door, when they take a moment to share concern for another child.
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Know their love language or dominant cup
A love language is how a person prefers to have love communicated to them This theory is relevant in relationships, but I have found that it is especially effective in forming connections with children
You can often tell a person’s love language from how they demonstrate love to others A child’s love language may be physical touch, acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time or receiving gifts. I’m sure as you read this you can think of one or two children who cannot seem to get on with their day without touching you.
You may have children who will draw at least five pictures for you daily Let’s not forget the ones that must be present for every tidy up time, rest time and insist on helping you because you need their help
These are all ways children communicate their love languages Children whose behaviours can be challenging to us also have love languages and in most cases, they may require us to communicate to them in this way frequently throughout the day.
Connection
There are endless ways to connect with children and often the children that appear to need our connections the least are the ones that need it the most.
So, although we may be challenged, we are well equipped with theories and practical strategies to push past the challenge and engage with children in meaningful, respectful, and reciprocal ways.
As we do this, we communicate powerful and positive messages to children that has great influence on their holistic development.
Another way to connect and cater to children’s emotional and social well-being is to know children’s dominant cups and fill that cup.
Is it Connection, Safety, Freedom, Fun or Mastery?
What does that mean for that child and how can you connect in this way?
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Understandingandsupporting childrenthroughBIGemotions…
Reflection Questions:
What do you define as challenging behaviours?
Why do you find them challenging?
Are the behaviours you find challenging the same as another educator?
Responsive to the behaviour
The first thing we need to understand is how we as adults in these situations are going to respond. Children are very responsive to others around them. If a child is having trouble self-regulating and in a moment of chaos, we need to stop and think about how we are going to respond.
As educators and teachers, we know that the early years of a child’s life are a time of huge growth and development. We know the human brain develops the most in the first 5 years of life, so it is how we support children to regulate their feelings that can influence their responses throughout life.
How will we support children?
Children tend to display behaviours that we find challenging when they are going through growth in their development, and their world is expanding beyond what they know.
This is what we must remember, no child wants to be disruptive. They are finding a challenge within themselves to manage these BIG emotions. They are asking for help, and they need you to support and guide them through this change.
How we respond to a child in these moments is crucial to their development.
What are you going to teach them: kindness, compassion and understanding, or something else?
What are challenging behaviours?
Behaviours of concern are sometimes called challenging behaviours. Behaviours of concern are words that describe a kind of behaviour. They are behaviours people do that may be a problem for them or others. These behaviours can be very stressful and upsetting and may include:
Hurting themselves or others
Breaking things
Refusing to do things
Doing the same thing repeatedly
Doing things that others do not like
Hiding
Biting
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Remember, many people may behave in these ways at times. It is only a behaviour of concern when it is causing problems for the person and/or those around them
Behaviours of concern
All behaviours of concern are a form of communication and happen for a reason. These reasons may be:
Something to do with the person’s body
To communicate
To get something desired
To change something about their environment
To show they’re feeling upset
(Scope, 2009)
Guiding positive behaviours and emotions within an Early Childhood setting
Educators who give priority to nurturing relationships and providing children with consistent emotional support can assist children to develop the skills and understandings they need to interact positively with others.
Educators who are attuned to children’s thoughts and feelings, support the development of a strong sense of wellbeing. They positively interact with the young child in their learning.
Through a widening network of secure relationships, children develop confidence and feel respected and valued. They become increasingly able to recognise and respect the feelings of others and to interact positively with them.
Educators guide children’s behaviour through their interactions and communication The approach to behaviour guidance in daily practice impacts on learning outcomes for children
Research indicates that quality learning environments and sensitive, nurturing adults are essential for achieving positive learning outcomes for children When educators adopt a positive and active approach to behaviour guidance, they reduce challenging behaviours and encourage children to achieve success, develop positive self-esteem and increase competence
The absence of a warm and trusting relationship with an adult will often result in the child resisting direction from that adult
Both the behaviour guidance practices, and the educational program need to meet the developmental and individual needs of each child (State of Victoria, 2017)
Time to reflect
Acknowledging and accepting children’s feelings, is the first and most critical step towards decreasing the intensity and duration of challenging behaviours. Showing the child that we hear, see, and understand them is the most crucial step to take. Over time, the child will learn to name and cope with their own emotions. By simply naming and acknowledging their feelings, you help each child take one more step toward becoming an emotionally healthy, resilient adult.
Questions to help you reflect:
How do we support children to learn from each other?
How do the managing challenging behaviour strategies we use help build positive relationships with children?
Do the strategies we use help the child to control their own behaviour and learn self-regulation?
How do we maintain the rights and the dignity of the child at all times?
When/how do we include the children in discussions about feelings and strategies used?
How have children been included in the journey of managing behavioural options and for managing highly emotive times?
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Where to from here?
Choose at least two of the strategies listed and intentionally act on it over the next week. Delight in children by noticing and acknowledging their positive behaviours no matter how small.
Ask for their opinions and seek their help, congratulate, and welcome them to the centre each morning they arrive.
Play, laugh, get messy and be silly with them. When you find behaviour to be challenging, make a point to join in and redirect instead of stopping it or simply trying to move them to the next thing to do.
Take the time to know children’s love languages or dominant cups and communicate to them by responding to them through those lenses.
Task Time
Each day, write down how you feel at the beginning of your day and how you are feeling at the end of the day.
Note down your wins and challenges.
At the end of the week, revisit the notes you have written down and reflect on how these steps have affected your practice, the culture and response of children in the room and your connections with the children at the centre.
Possessive traits
·Children have possessive traits and have a lot of “mine” possessions in their life which is why it’s good to have open ended/loose parts available in the learning environment. These materials don’t necessarily have possessive traits. When children are interested in possessive like play, cubby houses are a good way to scaffold this, so provide children with the materials needed to build their own space to protect.
Conflict between children
Conflict is necessary to learn to deal with situations. If the worst thing is children are fighting over protecting their space, things are good.
Set a challenge for yourself over the next week