Dear Kiki

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Hi,

My girlfriend and I are Various experts from the Mayo Clinic to 60+ years old. We are both the American Sexual Health Association and concerned about getting the many others have noted that there is no eviCOVID virus. We have separate homes and dence that the novel coronavirus can spread practice social distancing when we spend through semen or vaginal fluids. However, time together. My question has to do with all of their sex recommendations begin with sex. We do not kiss, massage, have interthe fact that it’s safe to pleasure yourself, course, oral sex or manual sex at all now. I but anything beyond that is just mitigating— think we could safely use our hands to mannot eliminating—risk. ually give each other orgasms. She thinks COVID best practices are changing conthis could not be done safely. Help, I think stantly as new information comes to light. cause of the delay is a deep concern for one will not be mutually pleasurable, and it may work, family and health situations. Remember that the reason we’re all in this (ahem) posiCOMING TOGETHER AGAIN AFTER A LONG tion is because this PERIOD APART CAN BE CATACLYSMIC— is a novel virus. Research is ongoESPECIALLY WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT ing. (So even if you THE CAUSE OF THE DELAY IS A DEEP can’t be comfortCONCERN FOR ONE ANOTHER’S WELL-BEING. ed by my words, please don’t despair.) But the key recommendations with masks and hand sanitizer we could that have persisted are: wear a mask, wash enjoy it safely. It has been four months of your hands and monitor your symptoms. abstinence and thinking of possibly a year If you decide to move forward with your or longer seems too long. Are there safe opexplorations of safer sex, please do so with tions to give each other orgasms? those three points in mind. Thanks, Sexual Distancing I’m truly sorry that I can’t give you a

Dear Distancing, make sure that you’re taking care of your

I’m so glad that you are keeprelationship in other ways while you abing safety at the forefront of stain. Now may be a good time to explore your considerations! That can couples counseling, for example (remember be a challenge, especially as the COVID-19 that, like physical health, visiting doctors pandemic drags on for more than half a year. for mental or relational health can—and Impatience can rear its ugly head, but the should!—be preventative, not just after beautiful thing is that waiting can be a powdamage is done). Explore non-sexual types erful aphrodisiac. Coming together again of intimacy. Love actively, and you’ll surafter a long period apart can be cataclysvive this season of lack of activity. mic—especially with the knowledge that the xoxo, Kiki another’s well-being. The key to a loving relationship at any KIKI time, but especially in COVID-times, is carefully assessing risk together in all WANTS things. If one of you is completely comfortable and the other is not, then the encounter QUESTIONS! strain the relationship worse than abstainQuestions about love and sex in the Iowa ing. If your other risk factors are minimal, City-Cedar Rapids area can be submitted it’s worth considering simply widening to dearkiki@littlevillagemag.com, or your “COVID bubble” (the people who you anonymously at littlevillagemag.com/ interact with as normal) to include one andearkiki. Questions may be edited for other—but again, it’s a decision to be made clarity and length, and may appear either together, taking into account your individual in print or online at littlevillagemag.com. more positive response, Distancing. Please