Bend Don't Break

BEND DON’T BREAK

BY DAVID ORGES

We must quit bending the Word to suit our situation. It is we who must be bent to that Word.”

Recently I was driving to Eunice, Louisiana to visit our students while they were at summer camp. The week before I took highway 190, and so simply for variety sake I took I-10 for this particular trip. The Mississippi River has hit new record heights, and and I was curious to see how high the water was and how close it was to topping the levees. It was definitely a sight to be seen. If you know much about a river in flood stage, you know how incredibly powerful (and perilous) it can be. Looking at the Mississippi as I crossed the bridge I realized that I was 175-ish feet directly above one of the most powerful rivers in the world, at its most powerful stage. The other thing that I couldn’t ignore was how effective the levees are at containing, and ultimately controlling the waters of the river.

I stopped at the Atchafalaya Welcome Center to stretch my legs and grab a bag of sunflower seeds. I noticed a worker tending the garden there, and stoped to observe how he meticulously, and tenderly guided and wrapped the vines around the trellis he was working with. He unwound some and had to bend others as he wrapped them around the framework. Redirecting. Reshaping. Restructuring. The tender of the garden shaping the branches of the vine around the structure of the trellis, creating something beautiful. But it wasn’t the other way around. The branches of the vine didn’t dictate the position of the trellis, or ignore the tending of the gardener.

It reminded me of a quote that I had read only days before from Elisabeth Elliot, “We must quit bending the Word to suit our situation. It is we who must be bent to that Word.”

The Bible tells us that Jesus is the true vine, Christians are the branches, and God himself is the gardener. The thought of God bending us to conform to his will can seem… well painful, and maybe a little restricting. But when I watched that gardener at the welcome center treat the vine with such care and tenderness, it didn’t seem so harsh anymore. And, when I realize that it’s the rigid structure of the trellis that causes the vine to grow into something beautiful, it actually makes it desirable.

It’s pretty simple really. It makes sense. But it gets difficult when you have to apply it to your own life. We want to ignore select verses, dismiss parts as irrelevant, say it’s no longer applicable, or just interpret it in light of a new cultural context. In other words: Bending the Word to suit our situation. Making the Bible fit how we want to live is like letting a vine grow without any structure. Life gets tangled, messy, unhealthy, and loses its potential to reach the heights for which it is destined.

Our first life-giving step is to allow God to bend us, our will, to align with and be supported by his Word.

If you’re a parent, you understand the need for the constant bending of the will. You probably do it daily. What to eat. What to watch/listen to. Who to spend time with. Activities to participate in. When to take care of chores and responsibilities. You probably make more decisions about your kids lives in a single afternoon, than you do about your own life over the course of an entire month. Your purpose as a parent, beyond providing for basic survival, is to guide your children in a way that is healthy, safe, and wise. Call it what you’d like, parenting, guidance, coaching, or bending of the will, but it’s a part of the basic responsibility you as a parent hold.

The real question, though, is what are you bending your kid’s will to? Because if it’s your preferences, societal norms, or anything else subjective, it’s like letting a vine grow without the structure of trellis. Their lives will be messy, tangled, and unhealthy. Bending the will of your kids, to the Word of God will enable them to grow to their fullest potential. I want you to stop one thing and start one thing today that will help you be a better parent (and person if you apply this to yourself):

• Stop feeling like bending the will of your kids to the Word of God makes you mean and overbearing.

• Start seeing the long term picture of their future growth, and be gentle and tender in your approach. Paul tells us in Ephesians 6, “Do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.” NLT

trellis from article above

David and Summer Orges family picture