Everybody Needs a Side by Side

EVERYBODY NEEDS A SIDE BY SIDE

BY TRISH GRAVES

He knew exactly what he was doing, and it worked.”

You’ve heard it said many times that there are some conversations that just shouldn’t be done in text. Important conversations need to be face to face, or in some cases, side by side.

As a teenager, I remember when my Dad would say “hey, let’s go for a ride.” Although he never said it, I knew what it meant. It meant that a deep conversation was about to take place. You see, he knew that once I was in the car and could look out the window, I was more likely to open up. And open up I did. Sometimes it was because I had something else to look at besides him while I was talking, sometimes it was because I knew we weren’t going home until I did, and sometimes it was just because it was my time with Dad, by myself, nobody else. And it helped that he never made these talks a time when I wished I could jump out of the car. He knew exactly what he was doing, and it worked.

It was a very easy decision to pass this tradition on to my kids. Beginning at a very early age, and on into their adult lives, our bestconversations happened in the car. Not at the dinner table, not in the living room, and not on the back porch. They happened in the car, side by side, just me and them. Conversations about school, girls, broken relationships and renewed friendships all happened side by side.

For the last couple of years I had the privilege of spending a lot of time with my mother-in-law and would bring her to her weekly doctor’s appointments. Even though we lived in the same house, there were not many deep conversations among the craziness of life happening all around us in the afternoons. But in the car, now that’s where the good stuff happened. There were conversations about all of the grandkids and why she was worried about each one. We talked about how she worried about growing old and becoming a burden. About how she didn’t like losing her independence. How she was so proud of her kids and grandkids. But y’all, most important… how to get to heaven. Out of the blue on one ride to the doctor, she said, “How do I know that I’m going to heaven? I’m scared that I’m not.” And that one knocked the breath out of me. But in the car, right there on Bluebonnet Blvd, I was able to lead my mother-in-law to Christ. Side by side. And that is why I will always have side by side conversations.

I’m absolutely sure that these are conversations that, for whatever reason, would never have happened face to face. When you’re having a hard time getting your kids to open up, ask them to go for a drive and see what happens. Make this practice something that they feel comfortable with and look forward to. Make it special for each child so they know when you ask them to “go for a ride,” it’s because of how special they are to you.