Living Real Magazine - Fall 2012 by Melanie Shull

A PUBLICATION OF LIVING REAL LLC • LIVINGREALMAG.COM • VOLUME 4 • 2012

The Hole Truth Are Life's Pitfalls Avoidable?

Why We Homeschool

One Family Shares Their Story

Fe con Acción

My Laundry Cathedral

Guatemalan Orphanage puts Faith with Action

Finding Blessings in the Mundane

His Love Club

A Heart Moved from Fear to Faith

Standby for What's Next

Moving from Tragedy to Abundant Life

Kelly Coakley Moves to a New “Station” LIVINGREALMAG.COM • VOL.4

Isaac

AZINE A MAG RIES

STO L A E R OF EOPLE P L A E BY R

Contents

2012 • VOLUME 4

04 14

20 28

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04 A New & Better Way: A Look at Relationships

by Joeli Mulligan 06 Isaac: Moving from Tragedy to Abundant Life by Megan Bush 12 Why We Homeschool: One Family's Success by Lori Hatcher 14 The Hole Truth: Are Life's Pitfalls Avoidable? by Todd Vick 18 My Laundry Cathedral: Finding Blessings by Melanie Shull 20 Going Deeper: A Spiritual Prescription by Micah Merchant LIVINGREALMAG.COM

22 His Love Club: A Heart Moved from Fear to Faith by Linda Toole

24 Grace: Patiently: Looking Back on a Lifetime by Dawn Gonzalez

28 Living Real on Campus: Faith in Action by Sarah Goldie

31 The Lighter Side: Medicine to Your Soul by Cherie Nettles

32 Standby for What's Next: Kelly Coakley Moves to a New “Station” by Kelly Coakley 2012 • LIVING REAL

welcome to living real

Greetings!

ave you ever wondered, “Am I doing what God has designed for me to do?” Many have struggled with the answer to that question. I know I have. Not knowing can be a little scary and frustrating, but it can also be very exciting, all at the same time. My husband uses a shell game to illustrate the fact that God doesn’t hide His will from us. He doesn’t place His will under one of three shells, scramble them, and then make us guess where it is. He places it in plain sight. We just have to seek Him. He longs for us to know Him first and foremost, and then, with passion, do what He has designed us to do, because ultimately, He will receive the glory. To know God is to know His will. In 2007, I attended a She Speaks Conference, designed by Proverbs 31 Ministries. All I knew when I arrived was that I was searching for direction from God as to how I could honor Him with my passion for writing. I tuned in to His voice as best I could the entire weekend in hopes He would speak loudly to me about this yearning to write. Because of my obedience and desire to know Him, He revealed His will to me that Sunday afternoon as I drove back home. He told me in that “still small voice” that I was going to begin a magazine. He was going to use me to help others tell their real life stories about how they live Christ-filled lives which overflow with His love and grace. Amazed beyond belief, the idea of this magazine was conceived. Two years later, God birthed that passion that He had placed in me, and Living Real magazine was born. This past summer, I attended the conference again to receive more direction and to learn more about the writing process. I went with an open heart and open ears to hear that precious voice again as to how Living Real needs to move forward. God has honored my faithfulness to Him for the past three years, and so He spoke loudly again! He is growing Living Real and taking it to the next level. As of this issue, we have expanded the magazine four pages, designed a new website, made the magazine an e-zine, and much more. Check out www.livingrealmag.com As far as my passion to write, He is moving me into uncharted waters to write Bible studies which will be a new entity of Living Real. Through our new website, you will be able to purchase and download the LR curriculum to use in your own personal study or with a group. God is expanding LR’s territory for His glory! His confirmation in that I am doing what He has designed for me to do couldn’t be clearer. He has surrounded me with a wonderful, godly team of people to make this God-sized dream a reality, and I am forever grateful for all they do. Our prayer is that as you read through these pages, you will desire and find what God has designed for you to do in your real life. Get to know Him first, through His Word, prayer, and discipleship. Now take the LR challenge and join the journey by turning the page and discovering what God is doing through more real people, with real faith, living real life. My Pleasure,

Melanie

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Melanie C. Shull Founder of Living Real Magazine LivingRealMag.com

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living real on faith

A New & Better Way Joeli Mulligan

What Would Your Relationships Be Like If You… Treated everyone, including yourself, as a person in process rather than as a machine that performs? Showed in your words and actions that you valued relationships more than time? Listened long enough to understand what another person was thinking and feeling? Gave up harsh and condemning words and learned to speak softly? Focused on ﬁnding solutions to problems rather than ﬁnding someone to blame?

(From Love as a Way of Life by Gary Chapman)

I AM GLAD THAT THE SAME GOD who holds the stars in place and created everything we know of (and things we cannot even imagine!) is also the God who knows me better than I know myself and actually cares about how I interact with the people around me. So, by grace, I am saying: I hear you, Lord and I so want to be a doer of Your Word and not just a hearer. (James 1:22) Even on days when the "job" of Mommy seems a little bit like a trial, I wouldn't want it any

LIVING REAL • 2012

other way. I know that my Kiddos have taught me more in 9 short years than I have learned in the 30 before about being the person You want me to be. The role of "Mommy" is the one I KNOW I cannot do well without You. It's the one that motivates me more than any other to be better: more loving, more patient, more compassionate, kind and gentle, more selfcontrolled, more peaceful and more joyful... more like You. Because more than anything, I want these Kiddos You've entrusted to me to see who You are when they watch who I am. LIVINGREALMAG.COM

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hese were the questions posed to me in a Sunday school lesson around the same time I was studying the Book of James. In one week, both studies asked me to write out James 1:19, "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." And my Sunday school curriculum took me to James 1:2-4, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

living real on faith “My dear brothers and sisters, take not of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.˝ - James 1:19

It’s been said that when it comes to what we pass onto our children, more is “caught” than “taught”. challenging me to let His Word, which is planted in me, do a great work and grow into an oak of righteousness that will yield its fruit in season. I am thankful because I don’t want my faith to just be something I “do” on Sunday mornings or slap onto my bumper or pull out when I’m in crisis. Since this is the life [I] have chosen, the life of the Spirit, [I want to] make sure that [I] do not just hold to it as an idea in [my] head or a sentiment in [my] heart, but work out its implications in every detail of [my life]. (Galatians 5:25)

So, I wonder what my relationships with my two favorite Little Loveys would be like if I remembered that God’s not finished with us yet? I wonder how different things would be if I showed them every day that my relationship with them is more important than my schedule; if I really listened when they talked, sought to understand their point of view and learned to speak softly? I wonder what our relationships would be like if we stopped trying to figure out who’s to blame and started just loving and being thankful for each other? I’m not really sure what that looks like, but I can’t wait to find out! So, tomorrow morning when they forget their glasses, beg to snuggle with Daddy for just a few more minutes, really dislike the shirt I picked out and suddenly hate Pop Tarts for breakfast, I am going to take a new approach. I will remember that they are six and nine. I will take one second to observe how sweet they are with their Daddy in the mornings and how good he is with them. I will have an alternate shirt ready to whip out, and I will seek to understand their sudden boredom with toaster pastries. Then, I will hustle them out of the house with a smile and a “still small voice”. (No laughing!) And so will begin the very first day of a new and better way. For with God, all things are possible! •LR• Joeli Mulligan is a Christian dramatist, speaker, singer and sometimes blogger. Check out her website at: SpeechlessMinistries.org

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It’s been said that when it comes to what we pass onto our children, more is “caught” than “taught”. I want Caleb and Keppley to “catch” abundant life in Christ. I want them to “catch” that His Word is living and active and makes a difference. I want them to see that their Mom is different now than when she was without Jesus and that it’s better this way. So, even though my toes are feeling a little squished these days, I am thankful. The God of the universe is meeting me where the rubber meets the road! He’s

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isaac

by Megan Bush

hen Greg and I were married on May 20, 2005, I never could have imagined the path that God had

for us within those first two years. I had no idea of the pain that would come our way, but also no idea that the faith within my heart would be enough to sustain me and cultivate my growth in the Lord. God was unfolding the rest of my life to be a testament to what faith can do; it pulled me through tragedy to abundant life on the other side.

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NOVEMBER OF 2005, Greg’s mother died after a terrible battle with cancer. I relied on the Lord for peace and understanding, asking Him to ease our pain. Four days later, we found out that our biggest blessing was soon to come in the form of our first child. We were elated! We began making preparations immediately in our home. The nursery was painted and clothing was purchased. We also purchased a copy of Guess How Much I Love You. Our little boy was showered with love from the time we knew he was coming. Happy and healthy, Isaac Gregory Bush was born on July 10, 2006. Our family felt complete. Having Isaac at home changed my life. Like many mothers, I just wanted to sit and hold him and breathe in his precious baby smell. Greg began reading Guess How Much I Love You every night to our baby boy. I remember holding the receiver to my newborn’s ear so that Daddy could recite it to him when he was out of town. We even called Isaac our "Little Nutbrown Hare". Life was good, and we were extremely blessed.

his wrapped in my arms. We snuggled and cuddled until something suddenly went terribly wrong. My only recollection is of a swarm of people and a nurse dragging me from the room. My son was suffering cardiac arrest. The world around me was a blur, but my prayer was not. I never ceased praying for the doctors, nurses, and paramedics who were on their way in a helicopter to airlift my sweet boy to a larger hospital. We were in a waiting room at Greenville Memorial Hospital for what seemed like hours before a doctor explained all of the facts of Isaac’s condition. He prepared us for the worst. Our child was very, very sick. I spent the next 22 days holding him, caressing him, and kissing him the best I could around feeding tubes, a respirator, and IVs. Friends and family surrounded us. Our faith grew stronger as we prepared for God’s will to be revealed, knowing that, no matter the outcome, Isaac would be healed. There were days when I couldn’t do anything but hold him and marvel at what a perfect child I had been given. During those days I refused visitors and memorized Isaac's features. I took in every “wild” hair on his lavender-scented head, every trace of his sweet countenance: his long eyelashes, button nose, and perfectly-formed lips. No angel could have been more beautiful.

Isaac grew so fast, and I was amazed by the new things he was doing everyday. I hated to leave him to return to work, but the transition went smoothly, and I was blessed to have a very dear friend who was willing to keep him in her home. On September 5, 2006, I received a phone call that Isaac had a fever and did not want to drink his bottle. So, as any new mother would do, I immediately left work to take him to the doctor. The doctor seemed to think he was fine but wanted to ensure that he did not get dehydrated, so we were sent to the hospital where Isaac was to be given fluids by IV overnight. This was a mommy’s worst nightmare, or so I thought. I spent the night with Isaac and that little IV of

LIVING REAL • 2012

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©Photography courtesy of Bush Family

My only recollection is of a swarm of people and a nurse dragging me from the room.

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We had our ups and downs, but Isaac wasn’t getting better. For a while he could breathe on his own, but the respirator was always needed again. When the doctors spoke of how Isaac might someday be able to go home, it was only with the certainty of a feeding tube, tracheotomy, and around the clock care. He would never roll over, blink his eyes, laugh, smile, say his first words, or any of the other things that would show us that his sweet spirit still resided within his tiny body.

nized Isaac as God’s child, entrusted to our care for a short while. I was honored to be Isaac’s mommy and to care for him during his short earthly stay.

After much prayer, I knew God was simply preparing us to release Isaac to Him. On September 30, shortly before midnight, I summoned his nurse and asked that I be able to hold my baby with no restraints. She hugged us and shed tears with us and gently removed every wire and tube from his body. That night, I held only my child, unencumbered, as I did on the day of his birth. As I held him, I prayed that God would make this journey as painless for Isaac as possible. Over the next few days, I remember crying out to God, “Please, just take him now!” His breathing had become labored, and I was terrified that he was in pain.

Any time I begin to doubt or question God’s plan or love for me, I remember the single white feather pressed in a small white Bible imprinted with Isaac’s name. What a loving God, to be so mighty, yet so gentle with His children. I live each day with the knowledge that faith pulled me through and that Isaac will forever live in my heart.

The sun was shining, and hundreds of familiar faces greeted us. God had answered my prayer beyond my wildest expectations, but He wasn’t finished yet. He sent all of these people not only to pray for Isaac, but for us as well, for our peace and understanding. The service was flawless, but what happened in its midst was unforgettable. God knew that I needed assurance, and He sent it in the form of a single white feather. It simply floated down to land right in front of me. I didn’t need to look up to know where it came from. I knew that it did not come from our treeless surroundings, but from God. At that moment, I recog-

LIVING REAL • 2012

Since Isaac’s death, I have been given the awesome privilege to be mommy to his two brothers, Carsyn and Zeb. God has blessed Greg and me beyond measure and has helped to relieve the pain from the Isaac-ache in our hearts. He has presented us with opportunities for service and witness, a chance to use our story for His glory. We began “Isaac’s Christmas” to cheer the children of Greenville Memorial Hospital on Christmas morning. As we make our way through the halls, we give gifts that have been donated by friends and family. For six years, we have been allowed to visit families, share our story, and offer hope that only comes from the Lord. God supplies every ounce of strength for each new day and for each effort we make to remember Isaac by doing for others. Any time I begin to feel overcome with sadness, I envision that single white feather and know that God is in the hard stuff, the big stuff, and even the smallest most precious stuff. •LR• Megan Bush is a 3rd grade teacher in Spartanburg County. Megan and Greg have been married for seven years and have been entrusted by God to raise their two sons, Carsyn and Zeb.

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©Photography courtesy of Bush Family

God heard my prayer and calmed my child to make those last days ones of peace and memory-making. We took Isaac all over the hospital in a little red wagon. We took him to “see” all of the fish in the aquarium and the flowers in the garden. A dedication and baptism service was set up by the chaplain and was to take place on the front lawn of the hospital. I asked a few friends and family to spread the word. My baby needed to feel loved. Nothing could ever have prepared my heart for what I saw when we stepped out of the doors onto the front lawn that Thursday afternoon.

After the dedication service, I was given three more days with Isaac, and they were the sweetest of my life. For the final time, we put our child to rest with his favorite book. We read it to him, kissed his forehead, and told our "Little Nutbrown Hare" goodbye.

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.˝ - Ephesians 4:2

Real life. Real faith. Real people. Thank you Living Real for strengthening our families & community!

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Why We Homeschool by Lori Hatcher

Today, homeschooling has once again proven itself as a viable educational option. I say once again, because for 200 years in this country homeschooling was the only educational option. Our founding fathers were quite well educated using the tutorial method. State-sanctioned public education didn’t come into full use until the late 1800's. As a 17-year homeschooling veteran, I am often asked the question, "Why did you homeschool?" While my answers are not the same as all homeschooling families, they capture the essence of why so many families choose to educate their children at home.

LIVING REAL • 2012

We homeschooled because it gave us: A Rich Family Life. The nature of homeschooling lends itself to activities the whole family can do together. Instead of being age- and grade-segregated, all members of the family can explore an area of science, history, culture, or the arts together. We visited the places where the Civil War began and ended, watched loggerhead turtle babies released to the sea, toured the museums in Washington, D.C., and lay on our backs in the grass to track the stars in the summer sky. In addition to the educational lessons my children learned, we had the opportunity to build relationships with each other as we built family memories. The Chance for Our Children to Pursue Their Interests. Because homeschooling is more time efficient, our children had more time to pursue their areas of interest once the academic portion of their school day was complete. One daughter was fascinated by the political process. The flexibility of the homeschool setting allowed her to travel to Florida to work on a grass-roots presidential campaign with a group of 100 homeschooled students. Another daughter loved children and loved swimming. She wanted to become a physical therapist. Our

homeschooling schedule allowed her to work with a college grant project helping autistic and mentally challenged children feel comfortable in the water. The Freedom to Be Children. When other children would ask my girls if they have homework, they would reply, "All our work is homework!" It was a funny way to comment on the fact that their homework was built into their school day. Because I could work one-on-one with them in challenging subject areas, extra remedial work and practice was not necessary after they had completed their assignments. This allowed them time to play outside with their friends, read for fun, daydream, and simply be a child. The Chance to Disciple Our Children. We had the freedom to begin our school days with prayer and Bible reading, stop to address an area of sin or disobedience, or deal with an area of character development using the principles found in God's Word. We took time to cook a meal for a sick friend, visit a neighbor in the hospital, and serve our church. We memorized Bible verses as a part of our schoolwork, not in addition to it. I learned the Ten Commandments for the first time as I helped the girls learn them. Once they became teenagers, we LIVINGREALMAG.COM

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HIRTY YEARS AGO WHEN homeschooling first reappeared on the educational radar screen, it was limited primarily to families who were, shall I say, unusual. One family that achieved national recognition left their suburban lifestyle and moved to a goat farm in Upstate New York to rear and educate their sons. The boys did quite well academically and ultimately secured full tuition scholarships to prestigious Ivy League colleges. The results were great, but what average family wants to live on a goat farm in order to educate their children?

“If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God who gives to all men liberally, without ﬁnding fault, and it shall be given to him.˝ - James 1:5 worked our way through devotionals that taught them how to keep themselves pure, be a witness to their friends, and impact the world for Christ. Our daughters saw us living out our faith day in and day out because they were with us. We found that while the quality of time we spent with them was important, the quantity of time afforded by the homeschooling lifestyle gave us many opportunities to live out our faith together. The Chance to Live Life at a Slower Pace. One friend shared with me that her family life was so busy with school, homework, and extracurricular and church activities, that she didn't even have time to bathe her children during the week. Our lifestyle, while still busy, made time for home-cooked meals with friends, sleeping in after a late night, and read-aloud stories after dinner. A Chance to Be Well Socialized. Because they were educated in a learning environment that regularly reached beyond a classroom, my children have always been able to communicate and interact well with people of all ages, not just their peers. They learned to talk with the elderly as we visited a nursing home every week for a year and a half. They learned to enjoy young children as they volunteered at summer camp and Vacation Bible School. They learned to relate well to adults as they worked alongside them and learned from them in various campaign events and ministry opportunities. Imagine my surprise to hear my daughter interact in an informed and articulate way with her senator regarding a recent education bill he had introduced! The world

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is not age-segregated, so my children needed to be able to relate to people of all ages and walks of life. Homeschooling gave them that opportunity. I am the first to say that homeschooling, like any other educational alternative, is not for every family. It is right for mine, and it may be right for yours. I encourage you to evaluate your current situation, pray with your spouse, and ask God to show you what is best for your family. Claim the promise of James 1:5, "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God who gives to all men liberally, without finding fault, and it shall be given to him.” If you feel led to consider homeschooling, I encourage you to do some research. Talk to a homeschooling friend, explore the subject on the internet, and invest in a few good books. A few of my favorites are 7 Tools for Cultivating Your Child’s Potential, by Zan Tyler, The Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling, by Debra Bell, and Educating the Whole-Hearted Child, by Clay Clarkson. God bless you as you seek God’s will for your homeschooling adventure! •LR• Lori Hatcher is the editor of South Carolina's Reach Out, Columbia magazine, a veteran homeschooler, dental hygienist, and freelance writer. Her book, Joy in the Journey—Encouragement for Homeschooling Moms is available through Lulu.com.

2012 • LIVING REAL

Hole THE

Truth I by Todd Vick

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t was dark and cold in that hole. In reality, the hole was not that deep, but to a four year old kid, it might as well have been an abyss. I was the four year old, and I cannot remember ever being any more afraid in my life. There was some construction being done in front of our house, and right outside the front door was a hole that was about six feet wide, four feet long, and maybe five feet deep. I had just finished breakfast, and my mom announced that we were going shopping. I remember being very excited, leaping to my feet and running out the door. The next thing I remember is being at the bottom of the construction hole, terrified and screaming. Within seconds, I saw my mom’s hand, grabbed it, and was returned to safety. Had I waited two more seconds before running out of the front door, I would have heard Mom instruct me that we were going to go out through the garage because of the large hole by the front door. Oops.

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Oh, that we would learn to wait on the Lord before we run ahead of His will! The Bible uses the word wait over 160 times. One of the important exhortations of the Bible is the call to “wait on the Lord.” Although God promises special blessings for waiting, it is one of the most difficult exhortations of Scripture. Why is it so hard? For one thing, we are accustomed to taking matters into our own hands in today’s society. The world tells us to create our own destinies. Yet, over and over again we are told in Scripture to wait on the Lord. So why should we wait? Scripture gives us at least two reasons to wait on the Lord.

Because of What He Can Do David briefly summarizes this thought for us, “And now, Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in You” (Psalm 39:7). There is a sense of dependent expectation in David’s statement. We get the idea that David is convinced that God is going to do what only God can do, and doesn’t need his help to do so. My children used to believe I could do anything. One time we were driving home after dark when suddenly a streetlight went out. My son simply said, “Dad’ll fix it.” Why is it so hard for us to believe in God that way? Having financial problems? Dad’ll fix it. Having marriage problems? Dad’ll fix it. Having health problems? Dad’ll fix it. You get the point. Dear friend, if I have learned anything in my life, it is that God doesn’t need my help to be God. Oh, I have tried to help Him from time to time. I have run ahead when He said to wait. When I do, I always end up in a deep, dark hole of blunder. The good news is that God is always there to pull me out of the hole. Always.

Because of What We Cannot Do We also wait on the Lord because we cannot do what He can do. Proverbs 14:12 says, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death (emphasis mine).” Jeremiah 10:23 states, “O Lord, I know that the way of man is not in himself, it is not in man who walks to direct his way.” Let’s face it, we may be educated and experienced, but we can never exceed God’s power or outdo His capabilities. He holds the universe in the palm of His hand, and I have been falling into holes for forty years. I can’t fix my life. I don’t have the power. Neither do you. Like everyone else, my family has felt the effects of the economic downturn. I have been working two jobs to do what I can and occasionally applying for bigger, better jobs. My two jobs are by no means glamorous or high-paying, but they do allow me

LIVING REAL • 2012

time to be with my family and my church. Recently, I was offered a job at a large company with good benefits and better pay. Here is the rub: it was a third shift job, and I would no longer be able to spend evenings with my family or be involved in my church. What did I do? Pray about it? Wait on the Lord? Of course not. I took the job. After all, God wants me to have a better income for my family, right? Maybe. Maybe not. What I know for certain is that God wanted me to wait…again. And I jumped the gun… again. After two nights of misery and loneliness from being away from my family and church, I was in yet another hole. I didn’t see

My son simply said, “Dad’ll fix it.” Why is it so hard for us to believe in God that way? a way out. Two hours before my third night on the job, I received a call saying that the company had over-hired and that I would be called when I was needed. My other jobs still needed me, so I didn’t even miss a day of pay! From the hole, God reached in His hand, pulled me out, dusted me off, and reminded me, “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). There is still more month at the end of the money, but it is comforting to know that my God still supplies all my needs according to HIS riches and glory by Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19). Not my riches and glory; His riches and glory. I cannot provide what He can provide, and I cannot give what He can give. He is God; I am not. Neither are you. Trust Him. Wait for Him. There is a reward for waiting. Isaiah 40:31 promises us, “They who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” Friend, I don’t know what you may be going through at the moment, but whatever it is, the challenge of Scripture is to wait on the Lord. He is God and we are not. Take care not to jump ahead of Him and His promises, lest you wind up in a deep, dark hole. Be encouraged today, because the sovereign Lord of the universe loves us with a steadfast love and personally cares for us like a father. As David wrote in Psalm 103:13-19: Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him. For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust. As for man, his days are like grass; as a flower of the field, so he flourishes. When the wind has passed over it, it is no more; and its place acknowledges it no longer. But the lovingkindness of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children’s children, to those who keep His covenant, and who remember His precepts to do them. The LORD has established His throne in the heavens; and His sovereignty rules over all. •LR•

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I WAS EXCITED, ENVISIONING A STORE FULL OF TOYS, and I jumped the gun. It landed me in a deep, dark hole of my own impatience. First of all, Mom never said we were going toy shopping. I heard what I wanted to hear. Secondly, by failing to wait and listen to all of the instructions, I had sacrificed safety and security. I learned a very important spiritual lesson that day: wait for instructions before running ahead.

@ home “Be still, and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10)

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2012 • LIVING REAL

My Laundry Cathedral

by Melanie Shull

or 32 years we have spent our vacation at the same little beach house in Surfside Beach, South Carolina. We always go during the same week in June, with the same family members, frequent the same restaurants, and eat the same menu for lunch each day. And yes, our deposit is already paid for year 33.

From our den to the dunes, the display of God’s glory unfolds to give us a much needed change of scenery. For a whole week we relax and enjoy His creation- the ocean, the seashore, the sun, the sea lifewith the ones we love. It’s refreshing! What a blessing to return home and begin the sorting, washing, drying, and folding of laundry- for the ones we love. Did I use “laundry” and “blessing” in the same thought? Yes, I did! You may be wondering how the thankless, endless job of laundry could be a blessing. Let me explain. This summer, I began reading Ann Voskamp’s New-York Times best seller, One Thousand Gifts. On the shore of Surfside Beach, soaking up some rays in my lounge chair, I finished this incredible read. The threaded theme throughout is eucharisteo; a Greek word which means “thanksgiving”. Ann’s eucharisteo “gratitude-attitude” has pierced a sensitive place in my heart which has never been touched in quite this way. She has a raw but tender transparency with her readers, and you can almost see the glorious transformation unfolding in her life. It’s as if you hear her pleading with you between the lines, “Please come with me on this scarcely walked, rarely visited, sacred place of gratitude.” Ann calls wonder-FULL moments of awe “cathedral moments”. What a visual; a heart full of thanksgiving, basking in the presence of Jesus. Cathedral moments can be anywhere at any time, because for the Christian, Jesus is present with you at all times; even in the laundry room. As this spiritual truth was

LIVING REAL • 2012

soaking deeper into my spiritual skin, I began to separate the dirty clothes from our vacation. The routine of sorting created colorful piles around my feet, and it was here that my eyes began to focus not on dirty clothes, but on God’s gifts. I saw my husband, a gift, as I put his shirts in the colored pile, and I gave thanks. I saw my son, a gift, as I placed his running shorts in another pile, and I gave thanks. I saw my daughter, a gift, as I placed her cheer clothes in the delicate pile, and again, I gave thanks. My laundry room; a place where whining and complaining usually tumble through my mind, was transforming into a cathedral; a place where pure worship can flow. God was unveiling another layer of mystery as this spiritual truth washed through my soul. “Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise.” (Psalm 100:4 NKJV) The Psalmist understood that eucharisteo leads us into the throne room of God. Now, so do I.

of clothes that lie at my feet each week, I declare that my laundry room is now My Laundry Cathedral. Is there a more fitting place for me to give eucharisteo for family than in this sacred place of sorting; the sorting of thoughts and thanksgiving, as well as, the laundry? God was, and still is, doing some laundering of His own. He is washing out the sin of ungratefulness from my heart and rinsing in the fragrant spirit of thanksgiving. Ah! So refreshing! “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, and in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (I Thessalonians 5:16-17 NKJV, emphasis mine)

As I put another load into the dryer, I thought, “Why not use this tiny room to offer up large thanksgiving of praise and blessing to God?” So, as I give heaps of thanks among the heaps LIVINGREALMAG.COM

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, and in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.˝ - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

My Laundry Cathedral Prayer Dear Lord Jesus, As I enter this sacred room today, I give thanks for the laundry! I’m thankful for the people that these clothes represent. I thank You, Lord Jesus, for the blessing and privilege to sort, wash, fold, and put away for them. What a gift! Forgive me, Lord, when I complain or whine as I do this chore. I know You have given me this family to love and care for, but be patient with me as I continue to learn to “give thanks in everything” (I Thess.5:18). Help me to acknowledge the gift of family each time I enter this holy place. For any place where You are, Lord, is holy. I pray specifically for each gift… For my husband: to continue to be the spiritual leader you’ve called him to be to our family.

Your heart, soul, and mind Renew, Refresh, Refine is the first study written for the Living Real Bible Study Curriculum. It is an 8 week study designed for small groups or personal discipleship. See how to purchase this exciting, unique, indepth Bible study for your small group or for yourself by visiting livingrealmag.com!

For my son: to listen to Your voice, to seek Your face, to continue to grow into the man You want Him to be, and when the day comes, to be the godly, spiritual leader in his home. For my daughter: Guard her heart from worldly thoughts and desires. May she be true to You with her whole heart. Help her to make choices that will honor You throughout her day. For us: as a family, may we seek to serve You and You alone. May we show people Jesus everywhere we go. Thank you, Lord, for meeting with me in my laundry cathedral today. You are worthy to be praised!

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With a grateful heart and in Jesus’ name I pray, Amen. •LR•

Melanie Shull is the founder of Living Real magazine. She is a wife, mother, singer, songwriter, and speaker. You can follow her blog at: LivingRealMag.com

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2012 • LIVING REAL

going deeper

A Spiritual Prescription: The Gospel Incarnate CAN STILL REMEMBER SITTING in convocation at Liberty University when I heard Mark Twain’s quote “It’s not the parts of the Bible that I don’t understand that give me problems, but rather the parts I do.” To this day I can’t tell you the context for Twain’s words, but I can tell you mine. Hearing those words resonated deeply inside a restless spirit and mind; a mind, most likely motivated by pride, which continually chased after new truth and insight to a deeper meaning. But that day, I was challenged with the honest and real definition of Christian maturityapplication. Twain’s words have continually challenged me to rethink the basic truths of Scripture, and have helped me to examine how I apply them to my life at the most fundamental level. I’ve given this application of Biblical truth a name; The Gospel Incarnate. Webster defines incarnation as “the clothing, the embodiment, and the investment with flesh.” This is how God revealed Himself to us through Jesus Christ (John 1:14, Colossians 1:15), and what He has called us to be as His witnesses (Matthew 28:19-20, Acts 1:8). Most local churches call this evangelism, but what I’ve found to be the most effective avenue of leading people to the light

LIVING REAL • 2012

of Christ is a radically transformed life continually living and abiding in Him. Let’s look at a passage in James 4:7-10 which speaks to this truth. Hopefully, after some intense searching of this passage, you will be able to grasp the difference from someone who tries to share the Gospel, to someone who is the Gospel. Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. (James 4:7-10 NIV) James gives 3 progressive truths which, if applied, can help us to be the Gospel. The first truth stated here is “Submission”. The Biblical definition of submission is a military term meaning “to put in order under”. The submission to God, which James is referring to, is placing one’s self, voluntarily, under the authority of Christ. Submission is not a popular term in our individualistic culture, but when you stop and think about it, the reality is that we are all in submission to something. Whether a child to a parent, a LIVINGREALMAG.COM

©Shutterstock

by Micah Merchant

going deeper

wife to a husband, a husband to the Lord, an employee to an employer, or a citizen to civil authority, we all have authorities over us. However, there seem to be many people who claim to follow Christ, but who have never actually surrendered to His authority in their lives; their will, their mind, their heart, and their desires. The heart of a true follower of Christ confesses, “God all that I have is available to you without any limitations or reservations.” It’s the attitude modeled by Jesus as He prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane before His crucifixion, “Not my will, but Yours be done.” In Romans 6, Paul teaches that we are either slaves to sin or slaves to righteousness. A simple question to ask ourselves is, “Who or what is running my life?”

commanding us not only to remove the sin in our life, but to also distance ourselves from it. James continues with the command to “purify your hearts you double-minded.” A double-minded person is one who waivers and vacillates; someone who is not singularly focused. This was David’s prayer in Psalm 86:11. David prayed for an “undivided heart”. The heart is the seat of emotion and affection. An important aspect of true repentance is to remove the competition for the love of God and to give Him all your affection. An easy way to know if you have a double mind is to ask yourself how you respond to single minded people. The third dimension of a repentant heart is a change in attitude. James describes this through the actions of grieving, mourning, and wailing. True repentance has a genuine and deep sorrow that grieves over the sin it has committed. What is your attitude about the sin you’ve committed? This sorrow is a reflection of the attitude at a funeral, and is meant to teach you that to sin is to literally be separated from God like the deceased from the land of the living. This godly sorrow isn’t a permanent state of depression, but rather a conduit for the rehabilitation of God’s grace and mercy. Paul says in II Corinthians 7:10, “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret.”

“It’s not the parts of the Bible that I don’t understand that give me problems, but rather the parts I do.” - Mark Twain

James prescribes submission to God, and then tells us how to apply; first, by resisting the devil and second, by coming near to God. To resist something is to stand in opposition to it. For a Christian this is a life lived in active and direct conflict with the devil and with a sinful nature. A former youth pastor used to ask us if we had run into the devil today because if we hadn’t run into him we were probably running with him. I’ve found myself repeating this phrase over and over in my mind and even saying it out loud when I’m confronted with a sinful desire. For many Christians, the enemy is never thought about during the passing of the day, but the Bible describes him as a thief and a lion whose sole mission is to derail, and destroy our lives. Sin separates us from God.

The second application of the prescribed truth is that we live in submission to God “by coming near to Him.” This is the picture in the Old Testament of entering the presence of God in worship. I prefer the way Hosea puts it in Hosea 12:6 “return to the Lord”. Jesus gives us the parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15. The pivotal point of the story for the wayward son is in verse 1820 where it says that the son “came to his senses” (a recognition of his sin), and then he said, “I will get up and I will go back” ( a repentant heart). Coming near to God is the daily answer to engage Christ in a relationship. It’s the daily opportunity to answer Jesus’ call to all of his followers, “Come and follow Me”. The beauty of coming near to God is that we never have to go far, but we all have to come. It’s interesting to note in both these descriptions of submission to God, both commands end with a promise. In James, God is promising you that if you resist the devil, he will flee, and if you come near to God, He will come near to you. The second progressive truth to be applied is repentance. Repentance in the life of a believer is learning to have God’s perspective of your life. Repentance is seeing our sin as God’s sees it. James defines repentance here three ways: first, by a change in action, second by a change in heart, and third by a change in attitude. He begins with the command to “wash your hands.” This is symbolic of the cleansing of the sin in our life. James is LIVINGREALMAG.COM

The last progressive element in the gospel incarnated in your own life is humility. Augustine wrote, “If you ask me what the first precept of the Christian religion is, I will answer first, second, and third humility.” Webster defined it as, “Having a low opinion of one’s self and a deep sense of unworthiness in the sight of God.” Isaiah reflected this in Isaiah 6 as he penned his experience in the presence of God. We can walk in an attitude of humility vertically and horizontally daily. Vertically, we can live out Paul’s words in Romans 12:3, as we think about ourselves with “sober judgment” in the light of our spiritual condition and spiritual poverty. We can live a life of horizontal humility through Paul’s words in Phil. 2:3, “…but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” Humility is an ongoing process in your life. It’s a constant paradox of reflecting on your position and state in the sight of an awesome and holy God. As you humble yourself, He in turn, lifts you up, builds you up, and uses you for mighty works of service in His kingdom. Taken as directed, James’ prescription of Submission, Repentance, and Humility will remind, challenge, and encourage us to be the incarnate gospel of Jesus Christ. This is Living Real. •LR•

micah merchant pastor of missions, outreach & events trinity baptist church 2012 • LIVING REAL

as told by Linda Toole

ave you ever felt like you were being nudged by God to do something much bigger than yourself? The inner conversation can be somewhat of an enigma. Who’s doing the nudging? Is it the Holy Spirit, or just my own head telling me to do something? Well, this is the dilemma that Linda Toole, a teacher assistant at an elementary school, found herself in as she battled in her mind whether to take her faith to the next level or stay put where she was comfortable.

One Sunday morning, after hearing her pastor preach about “obedience”, Linda knew God was speaking directly to her. She finally surrendered and moved from fear to faith. She decided to trust God with this idea that He had planted in her heart. She remembered Philippians 4:13 and continued to repeat it over and over in her mind, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Once Linda took that leap of faith and obeyed, the pieces to the puzzle began to fall into place. With the help of one of the local school board members, she got the approval she needed from the School District. Next, parents, teachers and staff stepped in to help. She would not have to do this alone. God was placing people in her path to help carry out this God-sized plan. On November 17, 2012, the club began. The devotion time would be held each Thursday morning from 7:10 until 7:40 for Kindergarten through fifth grade. The club needed a name and Linda gives credit to her husband, Mac, for coming up with “His Love Club”. The verse that they chose for their mission was John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal life.”

LIVING REAL • 2012

“His Love Club’s” main focus was to share with the children how much God loves all of us and the importance of understanding this basic truth of God’s Word. To accomplish this task, the children learned songs, memory verses, and heard Bible lessons taught by Linda and a third grade teacher, Allison Smoak. Refreshments were also provided. Each child received a New Testament Bible. T-shirts were designed with a cross in the center of the world displaying the verse, John 3:16. Linda said, “It was so awesome to see the children wearing their t-shirts and carrying their Bibles in the school.” At the end of the year, the children were given cups with the “His Love Club” logo on them. God’s hand was so evident in it all, especially as eight children accepted Christ, and by the end of the school year, the club had grown to 230 members. “Children were taking their Bibles out at recess and getting together saying that they were having their own groups of His Love Club.” She stresses how the children became such sweet examples of the difference Jesus can make in a life. Teachers were taking notice as well as their classmates. As Linda looks forward to what God will do this school year, she says, “I am so excited! God has changed my life completely and I give Him all of the glory.” Her goal is to see other schools implement a program like this one. She encourages everyone to move when God calls because it’s an adventure you will never regret—an adventure of faith and obedience. •LR•

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©Photos courtersy of Linda Toole ©Shutterstock

FOR SEVERAL YEARS GOD HAD BEEN SPEAKING to Linda’s heart about beginning a devotional class with the children at the school she has worked for over 10 years. She just kept thinking that what God was asking her to do was much too big of a task and would take too much time and commitment. She says that she allowed fear to keep her from being obedient.

“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.˝ - Mark 10:14

Some of the programs for His Love Club included: The Magic of Brandon Wagster Artist, David Phillips Jeff Flanders with Gertrude the Duck A Christian Clown Ministry

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2012 • LIVING REAL

Grace: patiently by Dawn Gonzalez

STILL NEWLYWEDS, we were holding hands and happy for a cheap date. Our lives were unrecognizable compared to a year ago. It was 1989 and Mike had a college degree neatly tucked under his belt; I had drop-out status under mine-pinching hard. I had married him with the condition that I could stay in school to finish my last year of college. I was nineteen years old at the time of our plan, and still naïve to how life's unfolding doesn't always mirror the best laid plans. Mike had had a string of career doors slammed shut in his face. His desire to become an FBI agent was so intense, he was willing to get into any federal department as a stepping stone—including Border Patrol and Internal Revenue. Federal exam after exam led nowhere. He didn't even

LIVING REAL • 2012

pass the Spanish exam, and he’s bi-lingual. God was just flat out saying, "No."

resembled the lives we had known and loved. The only constant was each other, and even that was different because we were trying to get comfortable in our new grown-up roles of husband and wife. It felt like someone had kidnapped us from our own lives and dropped us into someone else's. Mike was terribly unhappy as a grocery store manager, and one night he rolled over in bed and said, "Dawn, God is calling me into ministry. I'm going to call the seminary tomorrow."

With our wedding date fast approaching, Mike called his cousin in New OrGiving no credence to the gravity of leans, the president of a local grocery store, his confession, I flippantly said "Why and when not? God's he hung up, closed every we both had other door so It felt like someone had gracious job far, what do you offers. We re- kidnapped us from our have to lose?" turned from own lives and dropped us And with that, our honeyI rolled over, moon to for- into someone else's. stewing about a eign lives: a broken promise new city, new that I would be jobs, a search for a new church and new the student. We had moved across state friends. There was new furniture, new- lines, and that meant a college transfer found freedom (we had both been liv- and out-of-state tuition unless I waited a ing with our parents), and nothing that year to establish residency. We were three LIVINGREALMAG.COM

he early fall evening was hot and humid. For someone with naturally curly hair, this does not bode well for arriving with the look you were going for. Mike and I walked across the campus of New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary from our dorm room to the chapel, and I was doomed to a night with frizzy hair.

"Why not? God's closed every other door so far, what do you have to lose?"

months into that year that night when God graced me with sleep so I wouldn’t feel the distinct draft from a door finally flying wide open. Six months into our marriage, we were now living in the married dorm. God moved us from the bottom to the top of a yearlong waiting list for housing, and we never did figure out how that door flew open before us as if from its hinges. Mike was elated when he showed me the humble room. I was trying not to cry. The cinder-block walls and institutional tile floor I surmised to be a jail cell. Mike, who had hated every minute of higher education, was once more the student; and I, who was itching to return to the classroom, was banished to the workforce. And thus began the three years of seminary that Mike crammed into two, the sweetest years of our lives. That heavy autumn night, Mike and I entered the chapel doors to a Steven Curtis Chapman concert. He was fairly new to the Christian music scene back then. The chapel had a seating capacity of 250. He played with the passion and heart of someone on the front end of not-so-sure-this-will-work-out-as-a-career. It was raw and zealous. He was a musical genius with that guitar, and he left it all on the stage that night. Somewhere about two thirds of the way through, he dimmed the lights, dragged a stool center-stage under a single spotlight and strummed mindlessly. He spoke from the heart, and sang a few quiet songs as if we were really friends sitting around in his living room. It was very intimate. Among those songs was "My Redeemer Is Faithful and True.” LIVINGREALMAG.COM

And while I was cooking tonight’s dinner yesterday morning, darn if that song from long ago didn't fill my kitchen with sweet memory. I stopped chopping peppers and stood before the singing computer to testify through song with my hands heavenraised. My mouth formed the words, but my mind raced to that splendid night so long ago and back: across every night—more than two decades worth--until now. I surveyed years of God's goodness and provision. How does one say thank you for a lifetime of such patient grace, faithful and true? We will try again tonight, Mike and I and our three children. We will gather at the kitchen table and bow our heads in reverence before we eat a recipe that has warmed me through years of winter nights: a man who has loved me and nourished me body, soul, and spirit; our children who will carry us into their futures; and a God who touches it all with his love. The disappointed girl from long ago finished college exactly one year after Mike graduated from seminary. I had dreams of becoming a writer. Instead, I became a mother to three children and put my dream on hold again. But while my teenagers do the dishes tonight, I will put finishing touches on a piece for publication. The deadline’s tomorrow. It may have taken 23 years, but that’s how God grants us grace: patiently. •LR• Dawn Gonzalez is a sixteen-year veteran stay-at-home mom, reader, writer, pastor’s wife, and blogger. Follow her blog at: EverydayOrdinaryDawnings.blogspot.com 2012 • LIVING REAL

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CANCER DIAGNOSIS CAN BE THE BEGINNING of one of life’s most devastating and frightening journeys. Treatments from surgery to chemotherapy can heal the body, but create burdens on the soul. What happens if you don’t have the insurance or finances to take care of yourself and provide for your family during treatment? That’s where Lexington Medical Center Foundation’s Cancer Care Fund steps in to help. The Cancer Care Fund helps patients in need by purchasing critical medications and supplies, and providing emergency assistance with utilities and other living expenses when other resources have run out. From paying a light bill to picking up the tab for a prescription, the Cancer Care Fund affects the most important needs of our hospital’s cancer patients.

nutrition and exercise information. Contributions to the Cancer Care Fund have also helped to provide therapy programs, counseling, support groups and entertainment for patients during treatment. Lexington Medical Center’s cancer program continues to grow. It’s now affiliated with Duke Medicine. As we work toward expanding our services, the needs of our patients will increase. Cancer touches everyone’s life. Please consider being part of an unsurpassed culture of caring in our community by helping patients through the Cancer Care Fund. Learn more by visiting www.lmcfoundation.com or call the Lexington Medical Center Foundation at 803-791-2540. •LR•

The Cancer Care Fund is supervised by an advisory committee of ten people from around the Midlands – some of whom are cancer survivors themselves. They understand the heartbreak of not having the means to pay a doctor or go through treatments. And they hope their legacy will be one of helping others traveling the difficult road cancer can bring. Thanks to the generosity of donors throughout our community, the Lexington Medical Center Foundation’s Cancer Care Fund has also provided a Healing Garden for patients at Lexington Oncology, a Research Suite for clinical trials, and a Resource Room where patients can learn about their disease, medications,

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2012 • LIVING REAL

John 15:7

Fe con Acción

FAITH WITH ACTION by Sarah Goldie

The first Sunday after I arrived, the pastor’s message was titled “Fe con Acción” (Faith with Action). The subject of faith is something that I have studied for years due to growing up in the church. It was not until I met a family in Coban, Guatemala, however, that I witnessed what it was like to truly put all of my faith in Him alone. The Lord strengthened my faith by teaching me patience, selflessness, and how to develop a radical faith through these precious people. My first lesson was in the area of patience. Everyone knows that you have to be patient to work with children, and even more so when you live with those same children. The biggest thing that I needed to be patient with was the language barrier. Sometimes we want what we want when we want it. But with not knowing Spanish well, it sometimes took longer than an hour to be able to comprehend what the children were saying to me. At the beginning all I did was smile at them

LIVING REAL • 2012

WITH EXCITEMENT I PEERED through the window of the rental car as we approached my new home for the next eight weeks; a children’s home in Guatemala. My church family had encouraged me to go outside of the church walls to serve. Although my leaders prepared me, I believed that the only thing I had to offer the children was my love. Little did I know that this large family of 34 would actually teach me great lessons in love and faith, which would change my life and heart forever.

when they spoke to me, and then I turned to another person to translate. Through the lesson of patience, the Lord has given me a deep passion to learn their language; to hear their stories.

other language. I can accredit the Lord and the children for helping me tackle the language. Once the children have learned

It was not until I met a family in

When the children first come to the home, Coban, Guatemala, though, that I their native language is witnessed what it was like to truly K'ekchi', which is an anput all of my faith in Him alone. cient Mayan language. From their desire to learn and the necessity to learn the language which is spo- Spanish, they have the opportunity to ken in the home, the children are able translate everything they have learned to speak Spanish in five months. This lit- about the Word of God and take it back to tle statistic puts me to shame. The children their communities and families. have so much patience with me when I Being selfish is something that I have am practicing Spanish because they know struggled with from being the oldest what it is like to be completely lost in an- of three sisters. This second lesson was LIVINGREALMAG.COM

taught by the older girls and boys of the home. They are sisters and brothers to many more than two siblings, and they are never selfish. Cristian and Eugenia Teruel, the missionaries in charge of the home, are training the older children to be leaders in the home and one day become leaders in their communities. Each leader has specific responsibilities to carry out, as well as, their schoolwork, and their regular chores to help clean the house. Some of these specific responsibilities include being in-charge of the small children; organizing the closets for clothing, donations, the pantry, and school supplies. These leaders wake up at 5:30 in the morning and do not rest until all of their work is completed. When the leaders are given an assignment, they do as they are told with respect towards their parents, Papa Cristian

Sometimes it is easy for people who have everything to crave more, but when a person comes from nothing at all, they truly cherish everything that they have. and Mama Eugenia. These leaders are my role models of how to properly love my sisters without being selfish. Sometimes it is easy for people who have everything to crave more, but when a person comes from nothing at all they truly cherish everything that they have.

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Most people who call the United States home are very blessed. I know that sometimes I forget to ask for what I need, or even thank the Lord for what He has already blessed me with. So the third lesson that I learned from my Guatemalan family is to, by faith, pray about everything. When I pray I need to leave my request at the feet of Jesus believing that the Lord is great, and that He will answer my prayer in the way He sees fit. I have personally seen miracles happen in this household. When the family is in need of anything, whether it is food, money, or healing from sickness, they bow to the Lord and ask Him for his blessing. Then later, I see the Lord lovingly respond to His children. Jesus says in John 15:7, “If you remain in Me and My words remain in you, ask whatever you want and it will be done for you.” Although all of the lessons that I learned did not need to be taught in a foreign country, I thank God that He has used my passion to love children, and a family of 34 in Coban, Guatemala, to teach me about how to live Christ, not just there, but here with my family, my church, and my community as well. •LR• Sarah Goldie is a sophomore at North Greenville University. She spent last summer working with orphans at a childrens' home in Coban, Guatemala.

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2012 • LIVING REAL

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! a h a H

by Cherie Nettles

RECENTLY HAD A WONDERFUL opportunity to attend a Certified Laughter Leader conference in Ohio, and boy did I laugh … not necessarily at the material being presented, but at the attempts of man to bring definition to what God has already defined. Now, before I continue I’d like to say it was a great and informative conference, but there is truly nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9.) This conference is designed to define laughter and define the uses of laughter. Researchers and the medical professionals have literally spent millions of dollars on this “new concept” … and God says it for free! Proverbs 17:22 teaches us that laughter is medicine to our soul, and that is the sole reason people begin to experience healing when they learn to laugh. Laughter releases endorphins, which are our bodies natural pain killers, which can help our bodies have a stronger sense of well-being and it reduces our cortisol levels which enables our immune cells to function more effectively. Laughter can affect our blood sugar levels, strengthen our hearts and now is researched and used in cancer treatment. Laughter truly is proving to be the best medicine.

Therefore, with that precept and being a child of God, a Christian, I am promised the Fruits of the Spirit which are love, joy … (stop right there! Say that once again … “JOY”) peace, patience (let’s not dwell there too long!), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law (Galatians 5:22-23.) Man can look all day … but the research is Truth ... laughter is medicine to our soul … and the Physician writing the Rx is God! If we are in Christ and we are not joyful and not laughing (because laughter is a by-product of joy,) it is because we are choosing not to be joyful. Joy is a spiritual gift given to you when you say, “Yes!” to Jesus. So, let’s break it down and walk it out in life … that’s my way of saying, “Let’s apply it to our lives.” In the conference we learned there are three different sounds to laughter. The “ho, ho, ho” which is a good ole’ belly laugh, the “ha, ha, ha” which is the heart felt laugh and the “hee, hee, hee” which is the more intellectual laugh (well, at least they tell me.) But my precept is, “It doesn’t matter which type of laugh you have. What matters is, do you laugh?” Take our family for example … we laugh all of the time. Let’s first look at my husband Mike. He is a chemical engineer, so suffice it to say we don’t get to joke about things being rocket LIVINGREALMAG.COM

science in our home … because they are, but even Mike gets a huge laugh out of the fact he could design any type of chemical weaponry but struggles with cranking the lawn mower. He definitely has the intellectual “hee, hee, hee”, laugh, and it is contagious! Next there is my sweet girl, Ashleigh. She has one of the sweetest heartfelt laughs of any person I know. Many of you may have seen the commercials for Capital One that features Jimmy Fallon and an adorable baby girl. That little girl melts Ashleigh’s heart, and not only does she laugh out loud at these commercials, but every time she sees it she says, through her giggling, heartfelt “ha, ha ,ha”, “That little girl is adorable.” Her heart sees the sweetness of the baby girl, not just the humor of the very successful comedian. Finally, there is the belly laugh or what my son and I refer to as the “gut buster.” We laugh at ridiculous things and don’t understand why no one else thinks they are funny. For example, we think that the line “That’s baby face Nelson!” in the movie “O, Brother Where Art Thou,” is the funniest thing we’ve ever heard! All my son has to do is repeat it and we “fall out” laughing, way down from our bellies, with a “ho, ho, ho!” We have all learned from each other. We have all learned to laugh with a “hee, hee, hee,” a “ha, ha, ha,” and a “ho, ho, ho,” and we each love one another’s humor. In turn I think it explains one of the reasons we all enjoy spending so much time together. So, my point is no matter what type of laughter you produce … no matter what your giggle sounds like, get busy doing it! Learn to laugh with others and especially learn to laugh at yourself. Laughter is medicine to the soul and your prescription can be filled by the Word of God! So start laughing, “ho, ho,ho-ing,” “ha, ha, ha-ing” and “hee, hee, hee –ing,” living out loud and healthy, in the midst of your joy! •LR•

Heehee!

the lighter side

cherie nettles christian humorist, Bible teacher, motivational speaker, author 2012 • LIVING REAL

Standby for What's Next

Just before a newscast goes on the air, a floor director will tell the anchors to “Standby” and an anchor’s job is to do just that. You must be ready to deliver the news in a way that will connect with viewers at home. When going live in the field, a reporter must be able to use whatever is going on around her, to convey the most important parts of a story. It can ever be stressful, especially in the hours and minutes leading up to a newscast. There are facts to be gathered, sources to check, and stories to write. All of which must be done on a deadline. On many days, the plan you start with changes several times, and it can even change during a show. But that is the fun part--being able to think on your feet and decipher what is the most important thing to communicate at any given moment. I spent the last 13 years working in TV news, and I have loved every minute of it. I have interviewed celebrities, presidential candidates, the new business owner trying to make it on Main Street, the soldier headed off to war, the family he leaves behind, and many others impacted by some kind of criminal act or tragedy. My favorite stories to tell are those belonging to the members of the Greatest Generation, World War II veterans. There are a lot of stories I would have preferred not to tell, the victims of Hurricane Katrina, the family grieving the death of their son in Iraq, and any number of stories about children being harmed. But you can’t always choose which stories you get to cover or those you have to cover.

LIVING REAL • 2012

I have worked with and learned from some amazing journalists. Not all of them have shared my beliefs or my faith in Jesus, but God still used them in my life. They mentored me professionally, and I became lifelong friends with them. And by God’s grace I have been able to share the love of Jesus with many of them. At every stage of my career, God has lovingly reminded me that the goal was never to be on TV, but rather to be a witness. I didn’t always achieve that goal. There were days when my desire to succeed got in the way, but I am thankful God always reminded me of His purpose for my life. Recently I signed off the air for what could be the last time. After much prayer with my husband and through God’s leading, I have made a career change. As I write this article, I have four days under my belt as Public Information Director. I have left a very familiar and comfortable job for one in which I have a lot to learn. I am used to moving at such a fast pace that I am not sure how to slow down just yet. I guess you could say that I am standing by for what’s next. There is no more audience to deliver the news to, but I still have a floor director. He is the same one who gave me direction throughout my career in TV news. His direction does not come in hand signals or through the earpiece I wear in my ear while anchoring. His guidance comes through His word, the Bible. It also comes through prayer and the encouragement of others. He is an audience of one and the only One I have to please. Right now I really have to trust God. I cannot rely on my ability or familiarity with a career. I have to rely on just Him. I know that and have known that, but often when things are easy and I feel I can handle them, I don’t rely on Him. So instead of saying, “Kelly Coakley, WIS News 10”, I will say, “God, I love You, and I’m waiting for Your cues. I will standby until I hear Your voice.” •LR• kelly coakley speaker, pastor’s wife & "former" news anchor

faith stories

LIVINGREALMAG.COM

“REPORTING LIVE IN DOWNTOWN LOUISVILLE, KELLY Coakley, Fox 41 News.” I said that phrase more times than I can count during my first real job in television news. The next line I got very comfortable with was, “Kelly Coakley, WYFF News 4, Spartanburg County,” along with “Good Saturday morning. Thanks for watching News 4 today. I’m Kelly Coakley.” Most recently if you live in the Midlands of South Carolina you may have heard me say, “Good afternoon and thanks for joining us for WIS News 10 at Noon. I’m Kelly Coakley.”

by Kelly Coakley

22 His Love Club A Heart Moved from Fear to Faith 24 Grace: Patiently Looking Back on a Lifetime 28 Living Real on Campus Faith in Action 31 The Lighter Side Medicine to Your Soul 22 Standby for Whats Next Kelly Coakley Moves to a New "Station" LIVINGREALMAG.COM • VOLUME 4 • 2012

04 A New & Better Way A Look at Relationships 06 Isaac Moving from Tragedy to Abudant Life 12 Why We Homeschool One Family's Success 14 The Hole Truth Are Life's Pitfalls Avoidable? 18 My Laundry Cathedral 20 Going Deeper: A Spiritual Prescription

Editor & Publisher Melanie Shull melanieshull1962@gmail.com Art Director Will Bryan will@gencreative.com Design/Layout Genesis Creative www.gencreative.com Contributing Writers Megan Bush Kelly Coakley Lori Hatcher Sarah Goldie Dawn Gonzalez Micah Merchant Joeli Mulligan Cherie Nettles Linda Toole Todd Vick Cover Photography Shutterstock/Yuri Arcurs Advertising (803) 603-1735 melanieshull1962@gmail.com Editorial Office 1117 Blakely Court W. Columbia, SC 29170 (803) 603-1735 www.livingrealmag.com Copyright ©2012 Living Real, LLC. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without the permission of Living Real, LLC is prohibited. Printed in South Carolina. When you have finished with this magazine please live real and pass it on or recycle it.