Esoteric Empathy, by Raven Digitalis

Praise for Esoteric Empathy “I admire Raven Digitalis. … His books are well written and reflect long observation and reflection on any particular subject. Esoteric Empathy is no exception. It promises to become the classic work on empathy. … A very worthwhile volume.”

—Raymond Buckland, author of Buckland’s Complete Book of Witchcraft and Buckland’s Book of Spirit Communications “Going straight to the heart of the mystery of love, divine and human, this is a work from one of the most truly original thinkers of our time.”

—Lon Milo DuQuette, author of Low Magick and Homemade Magick “This book is a must for anyone who finds themselves confused by their sensitivity to others but cannot find answers. … Esoteric Empathy makes this journey unique and insightful.”

—Janet Farrar and Gavin Bone, authors of A Witches’ Bible and Progressive Witchcraft “Bravo, Raven, for Esoteric Empathy! It should be on the bookshelf and on the required reading list of every occultist, witch, shaman, healer, magicand spirit-worker, as well as anyone else I missed who engages and is engaged by the subtle levels of human and non-human experience. (Oh goodness, that’s every human alive, isn’t it?) … Through ‘magical empathy,’ our consciousness can merge and mingle with the light, life, and loveforce that connect us all.”

—Orion Foxwood, author of The Faery Teachings and The Candle and the Crossroads “Meaning in the world arises from the heart. In times as challenging as these, the work of mending the world is best understood by those who feel deeply. Those sensitive souls who feel the beat of other hearts as if they were their own are a treasure of equal parts strength and tenderness. Esoteric Empathy is a book that can be a sanctuary and a training ground for those spiritual people who want to embrace their gift of empathy.”

—Ivo Dominguez Jr., author of Spirit Speak and Practical Astrology for Witches and Pagans

“Raven Digitalis gives us a comprehensive and clear-eyed look at what it means to be an empath, with great ideas for turning what can be a challenge into an advantage. This book is a must-read for any empath. I wish it had been around when I was in my teens and twenties!”

—Deborah Blake, author of Everyday Witchcraft and the Baba Yaga novels “In Esoteric Empathy, author and spiritual teacher Raven Digitalis shows us how we are frequently and unconsciously mired in empathic energetic surges that toss us this way and that. What’s more, he offers us a variety of techniques, rituals, and exercises for tuning in to, taming, and safeguarding this important dimension of being, providing us all with a journey that can heighten awareness and shed new light on the rocky and frequently shadowed terrain of the mysteries-from-within.”

—Timothy Roderick, author of Wicca: Another Year and a Day and Dark Moon Mysteries “For those who experience heightened empathy in their everyday lives, now there’s a guidebook to both getting the most out of this gift and being able to manage its demands! Focused on compassion and love, Esoteric Empathy is a gentle but effective guide to one’s emotional and energetic state.”

—Lupa, author of Nature Spirituality From the Ground Up and DIY Totemism “Esoteric Empathy is a cleverly sober and intelligent look at a subject bandied about with far too many broad strokes in most modern mystical treatises. Through relaying and analyzing personal experiences while simultaneously drawing from psychological and neuroscientific journals, Digitalis conveys a warm and inviting tone to his writing, as if the book were little more than an overgrown letter to a trusted pal. The most striking and, I would say, most important parts of this work are the many exercises included to help readers train and control their own empathic abilities.”

—Andrew Theitic for The Witches’ Almanac

E S OT E R IC

E M PAT H Y

Š Raven Digitalis

About the Author Raven Digitalis (Missoula, MT) is the author of Shadow Magick Compendium, Planetary Spells & Rituals, and Goth Craft. He is a Neopagan Priest and cofounder of an Eastern Hellenistic nonprofit multicultural temple called Opus Aima ObscurĂŚ (OAO). Also trained in Eastern philosophies and Georgian Witchcraft, Raven has been an earth-based practitioner since 1999, a Priest since 2003, a Freemason since 2012, and an empath all his life. He holds a degree in anthropology from the University of Montana and is also a professional Tarot reader, DJ, small-scale farmer, and animal rights advocate.

You can visit Raven online at: www.ravendigitalis.com www.facebook.com/ravendigitalis www.opusaimaobscurae.org www.facebook.com/opusaimaobscurae

E S OT E R IC

E M PATHY A Magickal & Metaphysical Guide to Emotional Sensitivity

Llewellyn Publications Woodbury, Minnesota

Esoteric Empathy: A Magickal & Metaphysical Guide to Emotional Sensitivity © 2016 by Raven Digitalis. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever, including Internet usage, without written permission from Llewellyn Publications, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

First Edition First Printing, 2016 Book design: Donna Burch-Brown Cover art: i Stockphoto.com/23544248/© PaCondryx Shutterstock.com/315073178/© photolinc Cover design: Kevin R. Brown Interior illustrations: Adam Kadmon on page 131 was originally published in The Kabbalah by Christian D. Ginsburg, 1920, public domain.

Baphomet by Eliphas Lévi on page 277 is reprinted from Dover’s Esoteric and Occult Art. Page83 by Mary Ann Zapalac All other art is by the Llewellyn Art Department. iStockphoto.com/23544248/©PaCondryx Llewellyn Publications is a registered trademark of Llewellyn Worldwide Ltd. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Names: Digitalis, Raven, author.

Title: Esoteric empathy : a magickal & metaphysical guide to emotional sensitivity / by Raven Digitalis.

Description: First Edition. | Woodbury : Llewellyn Worldwide, Ltd, 2016. | Includes bibliographical references and index.

Identifiers: LCCN 2016032920 (print) | LCCN 2016038335 (ebook) | ISBN 9780738749174 | ISBN 9780738749655 Subjects: LCSH: Parapsychology. | Psychic ability. | Emotions—Religious aspects. | Empathy. | Magic. | Occultism.

Classification: LCC BF1999 .D4855 2016 (print) | LCC BF1999 (ebook) | DDC 130—dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016032920 Llewellyn Worldwide Ltd. does not participate in, endorse, or have any authority or responsibility concerning private business transactions between our authors and the public.

All mail addressed to the author is forwarded but the publisher cannot, unless specifically instructed by the author, give out an address or phone number.

Any Internet references contained in this work are current at publication time, but the publisher cannot guarantee that a specific location will continue to be maintained. Please refer to the publisher’s website for links to authors’ websites and other sources.

Llewellyn Publications A Division of Llewellyn Worldwide Ltd. 2143 Wooddale Drive Woodbury, MN 55125-2989 www.llewellyn.com Printed in the United States of America

Other Books by Raven Digitalis Goth Craft (Llewellyn, 2007) Shadow Magick Compendium (Llewellyn, 2008) Planetary Spells & Rituals (Llewellyn, 2010)

Contents List of Figures xv Dedication xvii Acknowledgments xxi Opening Text xxiv CHAPTER I: Understanding Empathy 1 EMPATHIC ANECDOTE: An Emotional Revelation 2 Describing Empathy 4 About This Book 5 Empathy in Action 7 Technically Speaking … 11 Emotional Knowledge 12 IN PRACTICE : A Checklist to Discern Your Empathic Abilities 13 Vive la Révolution! 15 Many Peoples, Many Species 17 Sympathy, Concern, Hypersensitivity, and Other Related Feelings 21 IN PRACTICE: A Checklist for Empathetic Balance 25 Empathy Throughout History 27 IN PRACTICE: Experiencing and Healing Residual Emotional Energy 34 Scientific Studies in Empathy 36 IN PRACTICE: Appearance Modification: An Empathetic Experiment 45 Empathy in the Media 47 IN PRACTICE: Studying Empathy in Mass Communication 49 EMPATHIC CONTEMPLATION: The ASMR Phenomenon 51 CHAPTER MEDITATION: Observing Empathy at Large 53

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CHAPTER II: The Metaphysics of Empathy 57 EMPATHIC ANECDOTE: LSD and the Empath’s Spiral Nature 58 Empathy as a Spiritual Force 61 Empathy in the New Age 62 Empathy in Magickal Paths 64 IN PRACTICE: An Uncrossing and Cleansing Spell for Empaths 66 Empathy versus Psychicism and Other Traits 69 Similar Spiritual Abilities 72 IN PRACTICE: Find Your Metaphysical Elemental Alignment 78 Receptive and Projective Empathy 79 Gaining Directive Control 80 Projection as Manipulation 84 IN PRACTICE: Exploring Empathic Energy with a Partner 86 EMPATHIC CONTEMPLATION: Types of Empaths 87 CHAPTER MEDITATION: A Yesod Pathworking for Empathic Wisdom 89 CHAPTER III: Balancing the Self 95 EMPATHIC ANECDOTE: Dangers of Muting the Ability 96 Knowing Yourself 99 Bring It to the Mind 99 Stepping Back 101 Consider Your Conditioning 103 Affirmative, Captain 104 Express Yourself 105 IN PRACTICE: Mudras for Increasing Energy 106 Meeting Your Own Needs 111 Love Yourself, Baby 113 Daily Releasing and Elemental Cleansing 114 Gimme a Break 116 Sleep Is the Brother of Health 117 Hydrotherapy 118 Musical Bliss 120 Tips for Combating Anxiety and Depression 121

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IN PRACTICE: Empathizing with Contrasting Stimuli 127 EMPATHIC CONTEMPLATION: Cultivating Dietary Empathy for Your Pets 129 CHAPTER MEDITATION: Spiritual Realignment with Adam Kadmon 131 CHAPTER IV: Grounding, Shielding & Energy Management 137 EMPATHIC ANECDOTE: Fantasy Magick: Disillusionment and Discretion 138 Grounding, Centering, and Shielding 141 Energetic Grounding 142 Energetic Shielding 145 IN PRACTICE: Geometric Protection Shields 147 Forming Personal Practice 150 Green Eggs and Ham 151 IN PRACTICE: Ritual Grounding and Elemental Realignment 157 Energetic Awareness 160 Mind Your P’s & Q’s (Prana and Qi) 161 Apathy as a Pain Response 162 IN PRACTICE: Become the Observer 166 EMPATHIC CONTEMPLATION: The Dangers of Personality Absorption 168 CHAPTER MEDITATION: Cord Cutting for Empathic Realignment 170 CHAPTER V: Approaching the Mundane World 173 EMPATHIC ANECDOTE: Absorption and Lightwork 174 Defining Sociality 177 Who’s Who? Social Boundaries and Constructs 178 Interpreting the Other 181 Consider the Individual 182 IN PRACTICE: Operation Empathy: Random Magickal Acts 185

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Contents

Public Interaction and Interpersonal Balance 187 Invoking Confidence 188 Demonstrating Social Compassion 190 Lines in the Sand 190 Windows to the Soul 192 Confronting Confrontations 194 When to Help? 200 Ground Control 201 Modes of Communication 202 Who Are Your Peers? 204 IN PRACTICE: An Empathic Elixir Spell for Emotional Relief 205 EMPATHIC CONTEMPLATION: Empathy to a Fault 206 CHAPTER MEDITATION: A Deep-Cleansing Ritual Bath 208 CHAPTER VI: Empathy & Magickal Work 213 EMPATHIC ANECDOTE: Empathizing and Transmuting Painful Frequencies 214 Tools and Techniques for Esoteric Empaths 216 Empathic Symbolism 218 Tools of the Trade 232 IN PRACTICE: An Amber and Jet Sachet Spell to Establish Energetic Boundaries 240 Ritualistic Empathy 241 Empathic Gods and Goddesses 242 Magickal Empathic Transmutation 249 IN PRACTICE: Empathic Deity Alignment 271 EMPATHIC CONTEMPLATION: Drugs and Mind-Altering Substances 274 CHAPTER MEDITATION: Alchemizing Wounds with Baphomet 277

Contents

CHAPTER VII: Empathic Healing & Social Service 285 EMPATHIC ANECDOTE: A Case of Mutual Pathfinding 286 Counseling, Healing, and Divining 288 Know Your Intentions 289 Know Your Limits 291 Meet Your Needs 291 Empathic Spiritual Services 293 Psychotherapeutic Approaches 295 IN PRACTICE: Preparing for Healing, Divinatory, or Therapeutic Work 299 Client Interaction 300 The Safety Dance 302 Methodologies of Assistance 306 Medical Recommendations 309 Emotional Needs 310 IN PRACTICE: Working with Difficult Clientele 311 Social Service and Volunteer Work 312 IN PRACTICE: Magickal Postcards for Change 318 EMPATHIC CONTEMPLATION: Empathic Parenting 320 CHAPTER MEDITATION: A Compassion Meditation to Spread Empathy 322 In Conclusion 327 Closing Text 330 About Opus Aima Obscuræ 333 Bibliography 335 Index 343

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Figures Emotional Energy Entering the Body 83 Qabalistic Tree of Life 90 Prana Mudra 108 Rudra Mudra 109 Prithvi Mudra 110 Anjali Mudra 111 An 1888 Depiction of Adam Kadmon 131 Vesica Piscis Shield 149 Anahata Chakra 219 Double Heart and Eye 220 Empathy Symbol 221 Sign of the Empath 222 Sei He Ki 223 Inguz 224 Chalice Well 225 Mirror 226 Water Yod 227 Alchemical Copper 228 Hand Spiral 229 Protection Symbol for Empaths 230 Quintupled X 231 Baphomet by Eliphas Lévi 277 Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs 310

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Dedication This book is dedicated to all the sensitive souls in the world, past, present, and future. Emotional sensitivity is an immense strength, not a weakness. It’s a profound gift that deserves attention, recognition, and a joyous embrace. Your purpose is to help lead a revolution of consciousness on many different levels. May your peace and authenticity continue to help propel the evolution of consciousness on a global scale, rippling out one placid wave at a time.

Rise from the mire! Grow from the murk! Reclaim your sacred nature! Without you, the world would be gravely lacking in love, truth, and self-awareness.

May your life and all future lifetimes be a Gesamtkunstwerk (total work of art).

Lvx ad infinitum, ~ O. R. D. N. ~

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Jai Ganesha, Jai Ganesha, Jai Ganesha Deva Mata Jaki Parvati, Pita Mahadeva!

Om Jai Shiva Omkara Swami Jai Shiva Omkara Brahma Vishnu Sadashiv Brahma Vishnu Sadashiv Ardhangi Dhara Om Hare Hare Hare Mahadev!

Om Jai Parvati Mata, Maiya Jai Umaya Mata Brahma Sanatana Devi Brahma Sanatana Devi Shubhphala Ki Data Om Jai Gauri Mata!

Acknowledgments Endless gratitude to my loving family, extended family, chosen family, and tribe. Without you I would not be.

Deepest praises to Priestess Estha McNevin for the limitless guidance, wisdom, and holistic love; you help make me who I am, and for that I am grateful beyond measure. Om shanti shanti shanti.

Love and appreciation to my beloved godmother Debbie McGaw for keeping me in check and for being a great force of compassion and Crone wisdom—and entertainment—in my life!

So, so, so much gratitude to the amazing pre-editors of this book; thank you for sharing your talents and wisdom: Barbara Holmes-Smith, Komal Vasundhara, Denise Potter, and Rhiannon Potter, as well as my in-house editors Elysia and Andrea—not to mention awesome publicist Kat and the art department’s Kevin and book designer Donna: your work is masterful!

A huge, heartfelt thanks to those who helped educate me about empathy in my teens and twenties, and who encouraged me to hone my abilities at a young age: Sonya Armitage, Zanoni Silverknife, Valann Valdason, Shari Stevens, Terry Bechard, Alan Wittenberg, James Brown, Mellonie Irwin Taylor, and many others.

Love and gratitude to my amazing brother Aru (Alex Sharma) in New Delhi. Bless you for the constant support, inspiration, and Hindu compassion. You have a heart of gold, mere bhai-ji. Jai Mata Di <3 Praises to my loyal friends and all of the loving community members and coven-family at the Opus Aima Obscuræ (OAO) Temple in Missoula! I am deeply blessed to know and love you all.

Many thanks to my devoted book readers and supporters; you keep me writing and keep me confident! Thank you for being who you are.

Please feel free to keep in touch. You are sacred to me!

Namaste, ~C/R~

xxi

esoteric | esÓ&#x2122;'terik ' adjective intended for or likely to be understood by only a small number of people with a specialized knowledge or interest empathy | 'empÓ&#x2122;THÄ&#x201C; noun the ability to understand and share the feelings of another Oxford Dictionary

Opening Text The Desiderata

by Max Ehrmann, 1927 Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

xxiv

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

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CH A P T ER

I

Understanding Empathy “A human being is a part of the whole, called by us ‘Universe,’ a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest—a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is in itself a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security.”

—Albert Einstein (in a letter to Robert S. Marcus, Political Director of the World Jewish Congress in 1950)

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Chapter I

EMPATHIC ANECDOTE An Emotional Revelation There was a time during high school when I would wear elaborate clothing, creative makeup, and spiritually significant jewelry all day, every day, in order to visibly proclaim my adherence to Witchcraft, magick, and alternative lifestyles. These fashion tastes developed shortly after I discovered both occult spirituality and musical subcultures. At this point it became normal for me to wear as much esoteric jewelry and gaudy spiritual bling as possible, especially pentagrams. This allowed me to grab people’s attention and, on some level, tell the world that there is more to our reality than meets the eye. It was delightful to have discovered a glimpse of this hidden knowledge through metaphysical living, and it was a point of pride to have discovered a place in unconventional art and fashion.

Admittedly, despite this newfound dedication to global spirituality and subculture, these “best years of your life” weren’t living up to the hype. Spiritual highs were coupled with emotional lows and an unfortunate propensity for deeply pessimistic thinking. As a typical insecure teenager, I would only allow myself to leave the house if I looked a certain way; for me, this meant perfect hair and makeup. The abundance of eyeliner, eye shadow, face powder, foundation, and various Gothic accoutrements served a similar purpose to the fancy jewelry.This unconventional appearance was urging onlookers to question reality, question art, and question gender! The intention behind this was to utilize heavy makeup as a type of protective barrier against overwhelming external energies. Ironically, this alternative appearance was actually a cause of social judgment, triggering an influx of external energy that may not have been there otherwise. Rather than covering emotional sensitivity with makeup, I was actually busting open a door that invited even more public scrutiny, for better or worse.

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After experiencing a series of emotional breakdowns, it was the help of spiritual elders, good friends, and natural healers that provided the greatest assistance. A big cause of these depressive cycles, I was told, was my appearance.What I was experiencing was an energetic buildup of other people’s passing judgments coupled with my own teen angst. I was absorbing a painful amount of public energy without even realizing it and finding myself unable to distinguish between my own emotions and those of other people. (These days I tend to wear creative makeup only when I’m feeling confident and expressive rather than shy or insecure—quite the contrast!)

In tenth grade, my longtime friend Eric introduced me to his mother, Sonya. She was the first spiritual elder to tell me that I was clearly an “empath.” A what?! I was somewhat acquainted with the psychic arts but had never heard this term used to describe a person. The description was a perfect fit for my personality. It explained the reason for my atypical sensitivity and the emotional overloads I experienced. It also explained why I was so gullible, persuadable, and forgiving to a fault.

Sonya and other elders educated me on what it meant to be highly empathic, which gave me a sense of empowerment and comfort in knowing that I wasn’t alone. I also came to realize that empathy is an evolving field of study that permeates both science and metaphysics.

Amazing! Not only was I not the lone village empath, but maybe my own insider’s perspective could also contribute to the growing field of empathic research. Perhaps my perspective could even help others in need who have similar constitutions.

It’s my pleasure to offer that very contribution here, dear reader, with the book you hold in your hands. It is an honor to walk beside you on your own unique journey. Together, our heartfelt efforts can help make this all-too-harsh world a more gentle and loving place in which to exist. ✴✴✴

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Chapter I

Describing Empathy Empathy is an emotional experience. It can be described as the ability to feel what another person is feeling. Empathy is everywhere, taking place on numerous levels simultaneously. It’s in the father rocking his baby, in the woman ordering coffee with a smile, in the child snuggling the kitty cat. Empathy is the social web that upholds and maintains all positive social interactions. Empathy is an active force that permeates life’s daily experiences. Think of any positive social interaction and there you will find empathy to one degree or another.

We emotional humans find ourselves in a process of personal and cosmic unfolding as we discover our own unique empathic voices in a world that is in dire need of universal compassion. We are all developing empaths. The connective web of empathy is growing and strengthening on our planet with every passing day.

For Witches, Pagans, magicians, and other spiritual seekers who have dedicated themselves to aligning with the tides of nature and the self, empathetic awareness can help in navigating life’s trials and tribulations. Empathy is an invaluable asset in both spiritual and magickal progression. Having the capability of stepping into someone else’s emotional worldview opens a door of unlimited spiritual potential.

We all find ourselves navigating this crazy place called reality, constantly influencing each other’s lives through emotion-based interactions. Thoughts and emotions work hand in hand to influence our consciousness and behavior, which in turn influences everyone around us. By understanding the necessity for emotional awareness, emotional connection, and emotional control, we enter a realm of empowerment as the influential magickal souls we’re meant to be.

Scott Cunningham, one of the foremost practitioners of Wicca in the United States, once wrote, “To perform effective magic, three necessities must be present: the need, the emotion, and the knowledge.” 1 The function of emotional connection within magickal lifestyles cannot be overstated.

1. Scott Cunningham, Earth Power (St. Paul, MN: Llewellyn, 1983), chapter 2.

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About This Book This book will explore many different aspects of empathy, both as an affective experience and as an intentional practice. While I do cover scientific research to some degree, the primary focus of this book is to examine the metaphysical aspects of empathy that can aid us in becoming more self-aware, empowered, and balanced emotional beings.

If you are a spiritual seeker who frequently absorbs emotional energy, I invite you to take refuge in the ideas and practices presented here.

Esoteric Empathy is especially written for those emotional souls who are drawn to magickal and mystical lifestyles. The term esoteric implies something that is known or available only to a select group of people, and, well, magically inclined empaths don’t exactly make up the majority of the population. But there are more and more of us emerging every day.

Anyone who identifies with empathy can get something from this book. Because the overwhelming majority of self-identifying empaths also identify with spirituality of some sort, the tips and techniques throughout this book are likely to resonate with a majority of readers—on a psychological level, if nothing else. This book is written for you, so you’re more than welcome to utilize whatever benefits you personally. May it serve you well, fellow affectonaut!

A concept I will refer to throughout this book is to “find your balance.” In order for us to live as healthy, empowered, functioning empaths, we should seek a balance in all aspects of life: physically, emotionally, cognitively, spiritually, behaviorally, and so on.

As both a biological and a spiritual reality, empathy is about unity and connection. This book is not exclusively for people who identify as empaths. There’s no denying that labels can be empowering, but labels can also distance us from the rest of society if we become attached to a “special” identification. I believe that empathy’s greatest lesson is that

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Chapter I

there is a deep interconnection between all people and all life. Creating labels of exclusivity works against this. Rather than “this versus that,” empathy teaches “this is that.” It is my hope that people wishing to understand their own empathic nature can gain something from this book.

Much of the material in this book draws from my own personal experience as an empath, but it is not meant to be a personal purging as much as a guide to common experiences shared by emotionally sensitive people. Some empaths will not relate to certain experiences or commonalities shared by other empaths; just the same, I’ve included information here that seems to be common among empaths that I, myself, may not directly relate to. I have also chosen to represent many different spiritual paths and practices throughout the book.

In both science and metaphysics, empathy is a field of study. It is for that reason that I have chosen to cite others whose work continues to help shape these fields. Throughout this book, you will encounter a variety of quotes, references, and citations to existing works related to the topic of discussion. Empathy is a communal experience. It is universal and collaborative. You will also see a variety of quotes from friends and acquaintances whose eloquent phrasings are too poignant not to recite!

This book is designed to help readers activate their empathic abilities in positive and constructive ways. Readers are encouraged to get in touch with themselves and with the environment we find ourselves in.

We sensitive folk must actively choose to invoke confidence and gain control of our bodies, minds, and emotions. Even when the world seems unfeeling and overwhelming, we all have the ability to safely access and share deep levels of empathic compassion. As the human species enters an evolving stage of emotional development, may this book serve as a guiding light along the path.

A wide variety of readers will approach this book from their own unique vantage point. People seem to have different “baseline” empathic capacities: the ability to which one can actively participate in another person’s thoughts, feelings, and emotional states of being. In addition to the obvious readership of self-identifying empaths, I hope

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that many people who do not identify as empaths will read this book in order to understand the ability better and potentially invoke more empathy into their own lives. You do not have to “be an empath” to identify with the experiences or ideas presented in this book, and you do not have to identify as such in order to have empathetic experiences in everyday life. This isn’t a book designed to help readers cultivate empathic abilities or become an empath, but I do believe that people who wish to enhance their own empathic capacity can easily apply information from this text to their own lives. I also encourage you to see the bibliography for further reading suggestions that approach the topic of empathy from a variety of perspectives.

Also, I ask that readers keep a personal empathic journal, magickal journal, or Book of Shadows that directly pertains to their own work and reflections as an empath. I highly encourage every empath to keep a journal of some type and write in it regularly! A number of the exercises, spells, and meditations in this book ask the practitioner to follow up the activity with journaling or documentation of some manner. If you don’t have a journal of some type, now is the time to start one!

Empathy in Action The experience of empathy encompasses an emotional converging or matching, which manifests through another person’s or animal’s body language, vocalizations, and movements. One’s energy converges and interacts with the other’s during the empathic process. Those who are highly empathic have the ability to act as an emotional mirror. But it doesn’t stop there. Empathy refers to knowing what another person is feeling, feeling what another person is feeling, and (particularly in psychology) responding compassionately to another person’s emotions.

That last step is key.

What’s even better is that empathy actively advances love, which in many ways can be considered the highest and most spiritually significant force in reality. If spiritual views of karma, reincarnation, and individual dharma are to be believed (ideals that spring primarily from Hinduism and Vedic philosophies of ancient India), then everyone (both human and animal alike) comes into our lives for a reason.

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Chapter I

We interact with each other on the earth plane to propel each other’s spiritual progression, often in order to heal old imprints of trauma buried deep in lifetimes forgotten. Experienced mystics believe that empathy and love serve to resolve these trauma-based imprints, unhinging our spirits from soul-level depths of sorrow and violence and emphatically pushing us to our highest human potential and more deeply toward interconnectivity. Empathy is the key to love, and love is the key to enlightenment.

A person termed an empath (sometimes mistakenly spelled impath or inpath) is one who demonstrates an extremely high amount of empathy on a consistent basis, whereas most other people experience a high degree of empathy only in spurts, maintaining a more manageable baseline throughout the day. My personal definition of an empath is an emotional psychic. This definition assumes that both empathy and psychicism are not paranormal or supernatural, but are both very natural and normal aspects of human consciousness.

As you’re probably aware, the term empath has become very common in modern metaphysical circles. The term was first used professionally in the late 1970s by educator and researcher Karla McLaren, whose definition of an empath is “someone who is aware that he or she reads emotions, nuances, subtexts, undercurrents, intentions, thoughts, social space, interactions, relational behaviors, body language, and gestural language to a greater degree than is deemed normal.” 2 I encourage you to reflect on the italicized parts in this definition, as these may be the very things that set empaths apart from other emotionally sensitive individuals.

Being an empath means that a person experiences life in a different way than do the majority of people. It’s okay to be different; in fact, isn’t it desirable? For those who are unaware of their empathic skills, it can be wounding and confusing to discover that not everyone shares the same inherent set of ethics or compassion. It can be a long road of self-discovery to gain emotional equilibrium, build confidence, make

2. Karla McLaren, The Art of Empathy (Boulder, CO: Sounds True, 2013), chapter 2.

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self-supporting life choices, and create personal practices that encourage one’s own emotional health.

In the words of empathic therapy researchers Leslie S. Greenberg and Robert Elliott, “Empathy is not simply friendly rapport, sympathetic encouraging, listening, or being warm and supportive … Empathy is the process of deeply contacting the inner world of another, being attuned to the nuances of feeling and meaning as well as the essence of another’s current experience.” 3 Pagans near and far have no qualms about embracing the term empath as an empowering descriptor. Sheri Breault Kreitner, also known as CricketSong, is a nontraditional Wiccan in New England who offers both empathic and magickal services through www.lunarwisdom.net.

In one of her educational YouTube videos for empaths (username “LunarWisdom”), she explains, “An empath is a person who is born with the ability to psychically tune into the emotional experience of a person, place, or animal. They are able to sense what another person is saying, even before the individual utters a single word. … Some empaths are so sensitive to the energies of the people and environments surrounding them that they absorb the foreign energies into their own bodies, allowing them to feel emotions that aren’t even theirs.” 4 A man named Jad Alexander (Jadoa Tai Alexander), who passed away in 2008, was greatly responsible for the widespread use of empath as a self-descriptive term in metaphysics. In the 1990s, Jad contributed the term and its description to Internet forums in order to find others with similar abilities—an experiment in sensitivity! This gave rise to a series of unique mystical teachings and written materials, the foremost of which is his online Book of Storms series, which refers to the internal storms that we “human sponges” experience regularly (visit mysilent echo.com). In 1998, Jad dedicated 11/11 as the annual World Empath Coming Out Day. He also developed the concept of Dreamtongue, the 3. Leslie S. Greenberg and Robert Elliott, eds., Empathy Reconsidered: New Directions in Psychotherapy (Washington, DC: American Psychological Association, 1997), p. 186.

4. S heri Breault Kreitner (username “LunarWisdom”), What Is an Empath? (Oct. 21, 2009), www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NJciKB-uLU.

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invisible flow of information between the psychic/empathic unconscious mind and the surrounding universe. In his online material, Jad describes our abilities as such: “An Empath is sensitive to the visible as well as the invisible. An Empath reads body language, tone of voice, body movements, the words people choose when they speak, the words they avoid, the logic they use, and the hidden things that only an Empath can sense inside another person.” 5 For empaths, their ability dictates everything they do, feel, and experience in life; nothing in the empath’s life is unrelated to their ability, no matter how much they work to suppress and repress their capabilities. Much like psychic gifts, everyone feels empathy to one degree or another, and its intensity can fluctuate based on a person’s mood, health, environment, and other factors. Biological and physiological influences also come into play, which we will explore later on. Empathy and psychic powers are both intuitive, but they each utilize different aspects of one’s perception.

There seem to be two initial levels that categorize the empathic experience. Empathy, on one hand, is a palpable emotional identification, sharing, and understanding with another individual or a situation. This is similar to sympathy. Secondly, empathy includes the emotional absorption or emotional mirroring of the other. A consistent experience of these levels of empathy is common to people who identify as empaths.

Empathy is an emotional absorption or deep identification with another to the point of personally experiencing the sensation of another person, a situation, an animal, an environment, etc. Empaths experience others’ emotions as if they were their own. Those who consider themselves empaths frequently experience a “taking on” of the emotions and energies of others in their presence. Empathy, while not an emotion itself, is an expression of emotion. If someone near me is acting giddy and excited and I instantly feel giddy and excited vicariously, this is an experience of empathy.

5. J ad Alexander, “Empathy 101,” The Book of Storms, http://mysilentecho.com /dreamtongue1.htm.

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I find it so very refreshing that modern descriptions of empathy also take its definition a step further. While the older definitions of empathy recognized the taking on of emotions between two individuals, they did not necessarily include the component of compassionate response. In modern parlance, empathy includes this additional step of caring. While it’s true that a person can experience another person’s emotional state and then exploit it to their own advantage—a phenomenon I will examine later in the book—I would argue that the true empathic experience must, by necessity, include the additional step of compassionate action.

Rhea is an owner of the metaphysical shop Between the Worlds in my home state of Montana. She is also a good friend, with a radiant, empathic heart. She once put it well by saying, “Empathy is not at all selffocused. It can be hard for people to really feel what another feels, because at that moment we are not self-contained or self-absorbed. When empathy happens, we are truly experiencing someone else’s reality.”

Empaths are unique souls whom the world is so desperately in need of. With the turning of each year, humankind grows in empathy as a natural step in evolution. As the older, stricter, and more destructive forms of monotheism begin to fade in favor of ancient wisdom, modern science, and personal mysticism, empathy is finally being allowed to flourish as a social and spiritual strength. Finally, we are being allowed to feel and to love on greater levels than our species has ever done. For empaths, there exists a deep knowing that we are born this way because it’s meant to be, even in the worst of times. For empaths, our emotional bodies are the springboards from which we experience all life through the physical senses. For empaths, emotions are our raison d’être.

Technically Speaking …

Empathic ability refers to the experiences of an empath, while the term empathetic refers to everyday human empathy, much as a person demonstrating apathy is called apathetic rather than apathic or a person demonstrating sympathy is sympathetic rather than sympathic. However, you will see that I use these words interchangeably, which is how

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they tend to be used in modern lingo, in both scientific and metaphysical circles.

Though the experience of empathy is as old as consciousness itself, the actual word empathy is less than a hundred years old. Can you believe that? This is greatly due to the fact that empathy is a somewhat elusive subject, one that’s not blatantly physical or dominantly cerebral.

Empathy is experiential and strictly emotional. Empirical scientific studies into the empathic capacity of humans have begun to be conducted only very recently. The word empathy itself comes from the German Einfühlung, meaning “feeling into.” This term is connected to the Greek empatheia, which consists of em- (“in”) and pathos (“feeling”).

Emotional Knowledge To understand empathy, we should have a basic understanding of emotion. Though I won’t dive too deeply into the scientific nuances of emotions in general, numerous attempts have been made to categorize, quantify, and understand emotions. In many ways, emotions are abstract and complex and can be difficult to identify precisely. Our various emotions are neither good nor bad; each one helps us respond uniquely to any given situation. We are shaped by our emotional responses to experiences and by the emotional responses of those around us. Everyone is wired in a different way by a combination of nature and nurture, which affects the manner in which our brains process information. Emotions are internal judgments by which we are able to understand and experience the world around us, allowing us to respond accordingly.

Emotions can be triggered in numerous ways. We experience emotions simply by observing and assessing life itself. Emotions rise and fall when we interact with others, either as a response or as a shared experience. Emotions may come to the surface when we are recalling or discussing emotionally significant events or when we are using imagination and visualization. We can also self-create emotion by changing our facial expression, body language, and physical appearance.

Emotions can be seen as instantaneous reactions to experiences that seem significant to our welfare. Emotions make reality come to life; they engage us with our experience and make it meaningful, sig-

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nificant, and spirited. The most self-aware people in the world are deep feelers.

While emotions are the driving force of human experience, emotions themselves can sometimes be illusory; some emotions are reactions to misunderstandings or assumptions. We can most easily find our balance when we temper our emotions (the heart) with objective, rational thinking (the mind).

IN PRACTICE A Checklist to Discern Your Empathic Abilities If you’re reading this book, odds are you either currently consider yourself an empath or are wondering if such a term applies to you on an individual level. I encourage you to reflect on the following brief list to see if the term empath accurately describes your unique personality.

Those with a high level of empathic ability tend to have certain experiential commonalities, including the items on this list. Grab a pencil and check off (or mentally note) the qualities that fit you personally. Keep in mind that there are no strict rules for “being” an empath, but there are still plenty of similarities between individuals of high empathetic capacity. Not every item on this list will be personally relevant, but if you’ve circled at least twenty of these points, you, my friend, could be considered a strong empath. ❑ The tendency to absorb and “become” the emotions of others around you ❑ The ability to relate to a wide variety of people and perspectives ❑ Difficulty in distinguishing your own emotions from those of others ❑ Having an emotional depth that seems unusual or unconventional ❑ A natural inclination toward all things mystical, spiritual, and multicultural

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❑ A personality that is generally kind, easygoing, and gentle in nature ❑ The ability to communicate with anyone “on their level” ❑ Frequently mirroring other people’s mannerisms, expressions, and accents unconsciously ❑ Friends (and even strangers) feel that they can tell you anything or trust you with their life ❑ Experiencing anxiety, fatigue, or headaches in large public situations ❑ Perceiving emotional exchanges better than intellectual or conversational exchanges ❑ A frequent need for solitude or small breaks from society ❑ Increased sensitivity toward sensory input such as sounds, lights, scents, textures, and tastes ❑ The ability to step into the emotional energy of a person, place, or situation ❑ A desire to avoid anger, aggression, or confrontations of any kind ❑ A desire to alleviate suffering and help others in need, including perfect strangers ❑ Feeling alien or foreign to the world at large ❑ The ability to see beyond people’s façades and social posturing ❑ Seeing beauty, art, or love in things where others may not ❑ An inherent disposition toward anxiety, depression, and introspection ❑ The ability to see everyone and everything as valid and valuable, particularly children and animals ❑ The innate sense that everyone and everything is interconnected or “one”

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❑ A deep connection with “innocence,” such as what is often found in children, animals, and nature ❑ A tendency to take things too seriously and not always get sarcastic humor ❑ Contemplating how things work or come into being; wanting to see behind the scenes ❑ Difficulty in understanding other people’s boundaries or reading social cues ❑ A desire to cause as little harm or conflict as humanly possible ❑ Having a touchy-feely personality and a generally warm demeanor ❑ A tendency to be extremely generous, thoughtful, and forgiving ❑ Having a sensitive nervous system and a body that is highly sensitive to physical pain ❑ The ability to fully and deeply engage in a focused activity or project, such as artistic expression, problemsolving, and various creative outlets

Vive la Révolution!

Empathy is revolutionary. It’s easy to be apathetic, angry, pessimistic, and self-centered in life. It’s much more difficult and takes more inner strength to cultivate and utilize genuine empathy. It takes even more strength to maintain it through challenging situations. Virtually everyone, human and animal alike, is born with empathic capacity and has the choice whether to express it or suppress it in life.

I’ve had the pleasure of sharing a longtime friendship with a fellow empath and Witch named Rhiannon. She once shared with me the following piece of insight: “We live in a world where cruelty and apathy are celebrated, even among those who pledge to harm none. Apathy has become fashionable, trendy, cool, and acceptable. Empathy, then, becomes revolutionary because it goes against the status quo.

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People are so uncomfortable with their own feelings and especially the feelings of others. To be empathetic demonstrates that you are willing not only to feel your own feelings but to extend yourself beyond your walls of self-containment and acknowledge the feelings of those around you.”

Younger generations have long been seen as a notoriously insecure and socially harsh demographic. In many cases, empathetic expressions go against the status quo. In an age where social empathy desperately needs to become normalized, it’s truly unfortunate to see young people embrace an “I don’t care” attitude as something cool or impressive. To be unaffected by something is to somehow appear more high and mighty than whatever the subject of discussion happens to be. I believe that our current technological age especially reinforces an acceptability of apathy because anyone can insult, slander, bully, and tear down other people in virtual anonymity and with little expectation of consequence. In the online world, people can say anything to anyone without even knowing them. It seems to me that apathy and cruelty, both virtually and in the “real world,” are oftentimes nothing more than attempts to create a sense of comradery between oneself and fellow critics. Therefore I would say that apathy as a social response is generally disingenuous and is more of a social strategy to garner empathy with fellow critics than it is an act of dismissive coolness. Aren’t we strange creatures?!

Along similar lines, a 2011 study led by Sara H. Konrath at the University of Michigan found that roughly 75 percent of students rated themselves as less empathic than students did thirty years ago, demonstrating less empathetic traits both behaviorally and cognitively.6 This study accounted for over 14,000 students, and it’s reasonable to assume that similar statistics exist for young people across the United States—and quite possibly the entire Western world. Is the isolation of modern technology to blame for this decrease in empathy? Or me6. Sara H. Konrath, Edward H. O’Brien, and Courtney Hsing, “Changes in Dispositional Empathy in American College Students Over Time,” Personality and Social Psychology Review vol. 15, no. 2 (May 2011): 180–198, http://psr.sagepub.com /content/15/2/180.

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dia brainwashing? Social networking? Greedy capitalism? Toxic “food” or “medicine” approved by the FDA? Who knows!

Many Peoples, Many Species Empathy is everywhere! Humans and other animals function through empathy and instinct. We are all familiar with physical mimicry among animals with the phrase “monkey see, monkey do.” Humans and other animals are constantly observing their environment and responding accordingly. In public, you’ll usually notice people nodding, agreeing with each other, politely challenging one another’s perceptions, sharing, and otherwise communing. This goes to show that people seek empathic connections in their lives. We humans thirst for empathy because it enriches our experience of life.

Life is a process of observation and response. Even newborn babies begin to mimic those around them from day one, developing more and more empathetically imitative behaviors as time goes on. If a baby hears another baby crying, they almost always erupt in tears as well— this is emotional contagion! A person’s upbringing (nurture) can also have an incredible influence on a person’s behavior or path in life.

Mirrored behaviors from a young age seem to deeply influence a person’s functioning throughout life and solidify an individual’s selfidentity. Successful social structures of any type—tribes, families, communes, subcultures, collectives, schools, vocations, and spiritual groups—all rely on an empathic connection to sustain bonds.

Emotions are tricky because they can be so intensely overwhelming at times. When people don’t know how to accurately express and process their emotions, it can lead to frustration, sadness, anger, and a flurry of other negative responses that build upon one another. A primal fight-or-flight reactionary reflex triggers these responses. In some cases, emotional overload can lead to crime or violence. If people are given emotional education at a young age, life can be approached with greater self-awareness and universal wisdom. Apathy and carefreeness are socially acceptable characteristics for young people, and some modern cultures see emotional sensitivity as a hindrance rather than a gift. These unfortunate views tend to inhibit rather than encourage

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emotional connectivity among the masses. “Grow a thicker skin,” “crybaby,” “pussy,” and the dreaded “be a man” are common insults that are often veiled as statements of encouragement—yeah, right! Guys in particular are often raised to be quite insensitive and in some cases to be misogynistic, racist, or homophobic. Luckily, we are now seeing more progressive models of family and parenting as each generation succeeds its predecessor. As laws and statutes become more inclusive of gender identity, ethnicity, and sexual orientation, prejudice is slowly but surely losing its grip on the minds of individuals in America and numerous other countries. Empathy is becoming a more valued component of human functioning.

Many non-American cultures actually encourage boys and young men to get in touch with their emotions and even be themselves, believe it or not. Some cultures see the masculine hero archetype as someone who is in touch with his emotions and is not afraid to cry. In this sense, self-awareness is viewed as a strength and a marker of manhood. Although we gentlemen seem to have an easier time repressing our empathy when feeling threatened or upset, the antiquated view of masculinity as unemotional is merely a cultural construct, not a biological reality.

It can take a lot of work to break the chain of deeply imbedded degradation and social segregation. Men, women, and non-binary individuals all have a great deal of emotional repression to work through.

Some people are still raised to believe that emotional sensitivity is an expression of weakness, mania, neurosis, or hormonal imbalance, which is an antiquated view that should be downright abandoned. You are here to help change these debilitating cycles of belief.

In truth, we are all the same on the inside; this is a spiritual reality that the empathic experience reaffirms. When it comes to divisive viewpoints and worldviews, genuine empathy is an experience that can temper any alienating “us versus them” mentality. Empathy gracefully bridges perspectives and encourages a very real understanding of unity.

We can observe differences in cultural practices and perspectives not only across global societies but also across groups of people in our own city, town, village, state, or country. The world is a richly vibrant

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place consisting of innumerable perspectives, opinions, traditions, and practices. By activating genuine empathy, everyone in the world is given the opportunity to connect with everyone else.

When trying to grasp the perspectives of those who are different from ourselves, such as members of unfamiliar cultures or philosophies, we discover that those working in fields such as sociology and cultural anthropology are utilizing empathy in order to gain more accurate perspectives. When studying the diversity of the world in which we live, it’s not enough to rely on outdated notions of “examination.”

By approaching a foreign person or group with a mentality that presumes the superiority of the observer, an emotional and cognitive divide is created between self and other, thereby making the person’s studies ultimately incomplete. Sure, an observer can observe people and cultures, but without the component of authentic humility (and also perhaps an innocent curiosity), the empathic experience remains firmly out of reach—and so does accurate data, by extension. By eliminating egotism during cross-cultural or cross-personal studies, we invoke a dimension of emotional and spiritual openness. By humbly engaging with the mind and emotions of “the other,” we can actively transcend our subjective experience and enter a whole new world of being—now that’s research! If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my friends, family members, and former professors with careers in sociology and anthropology, it’s that empathy is not only a boon but also a necessity within these important fields of study aimed at documenting the world.

It’s interesting to note that individuals with developmental disabilities often demonstrate a high level of empathic ability; this is possibly because a slower rate of mental cognition may inspire a deeper level of emotional recognition. These individuals also experience higher rates of childhood bullying, abuse, and mistreatment, which can instinctively influence a person to become more emotionally perceptive as a selfprotective response. We see the same thing occurring for many individuals of other psychic types as well, regardless of their developmental abilities or disabilities. Because ego, pretense, prejudice, and judgmental thinking all work against empathy, it’s reasonable to consider that those

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individuals who are inherently less prone to these manners of thinking often have heightened emotional awareness.

Additionally, individuals who are part of the autistic spectrum, such as those with Asperger’s, are often assumed to have little empathy because they don’t inherently comprehend social cues in the same way that others do. Interestingly, modern research such as that performed by the Autism Research Centre has demonstrated that those with Asperger’s and related diagnoses often have a much higher empathetic capacity than those without.7 Individuals on the autistic spectrum simply express empathy in a different manner. While both empathetic and sympathetic experiences tend to be more prevalent in those with Asperger’s than those with typical autism, individual differences account for much of the variation: everybody has a different level of empathy regardless of their autistic spectrum diagnosis or lack thereof.

Humans aren’t the only ones who feel empathy, of course! It’s important to understand that nonhuman animals display empathy. If you are lucky enough to own pets, you undoubtedly understand that animals exhibit empathy and have the power to instigate healing on numerous levels. Animals utilize empathy between themselves and can choose to extend this care to human comrades (which is also called interspecies empathy).

In fact, recent scientific studies have demonstrated animal empathy in a laboratory setting using rats! In a 2011 University of Chicago experiment, rats were given the option to free their cagemate who was in a restrictive chamber.8 The rats would receive no reward for doing this, but consistently demonstrated compassion by freeing their distressed mates, sometimes even saving morsels of their own food for their friend before freeing them. Emotional contagion has also been demonstrated in mice, monkeys, and many other animals, showing that the empathic experience is indeed part of our shared biology.

7. T hese research articles are referenced at www.AutismResearchCentre.com/project _1_empathy.

8. I nbal Ben-Ami Bartal, Jean Decety, and Peggy Mason, “Empathy and Pro-Social Behavior in Rats,” Science vol. 334, issue 6061 (Dec. 2011): 1427–30, http://science .sciencemag.org/content/334/6061/1427.

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Emotional contagion is a type of primitive empathy. In his book The Age of Empathy: Nature’s Lessons for a Kinder Society, the biologist, psychologist, and primatologist Frans de Waal makes mention of numerous types of animals—everything from primates to elephants— that consistently demonstrate empathy as their modus operandi. The author argues that humans are empathetic by nature. Sharing and caring helps perpetuate the survival of a species. De Waal argues that we humans are not inherently designed to engage in war because it is detrimental to a species’ evolution. Empathy is part of who we are and who we always have been as a species. Fascinatingly, modern science has revealed that human emotions and the cognitive mind have evolved together, simultaneously. Many scientists also believe that proto-human emotional development began earlier than cognitive evolution … mind blown!

Modern psychologists tend to concur that emotions have developed evolutionarily as problem-solving mechanisms to help individuals bond, thereby increasing the likelihood that they might avoid potentially dangerous situations. If this is true, then all sentient beings are likewise developing emotional faculties as part of their evolutionary progress. It’s up to us, as humans, to direct the extent to which our emotions control us or we control them. As challenging as emotions can be some of the time, they are part of our human constitution and are designed to benefit our lives and the lives of those with whom we share the earth.

Sympathy, Concern, Hypersensitivity, and Other Related Feelings To really understand the experience of empathy, it’s essential to distinguish empathy from similar terms. Take, for example, sympathy, which differs from empathy and is sometimes defined as “empathic concern.”

This is based on the cognitive (mental) plane: to sympathize with a person is to understand and validate what they are undergoing rather than palpably feeling what the other person is experiencing.

Perspective taking is a type of sympathetic cognition. In the case of sympathy, the mutual experience of emotion is kept at bay in favor of a sort of emotional acknowledgment. If a person is sympathizing, they

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may have the best of intentions but feel unable to help or completely identify with the situation for whatever reason; this makes them feel for something or someone, whereas empathy is an experience of feeling with someone or feeling as someone. Just because a sympathetic person feels upset that another person is suffering, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they feel that suffering themselves, nor even that they actually want to help alleviate that individual’s suffering. Sympathy can often be a forced and ultimately incomplete attempt at empathic connection. Empathy is an experience of emotional equality, whereas sympathy is not. While sympathy includes a sort of barrier between oneself and another, it does have its proper time and place: there are times when more positive, progressive outcomes can be achieved without full emotional absorption.

In his essay “The Moral Emotions” in The Oxford Handbook of Philosophy of Emotion, Jesse J. Prinz makes an important distinction: “[S]ympathetic emotions need not be the same as the emotions experienced by the people for whom we sympathize; I may feel sad that you are angry or afraid, for example. But like empathy, sympathy involves having a feeling as a result of someone else’s feeling. And like empathy, sympathy is not itself an emotion but a process by which emotions are brought about and directed. Sympathetic emotions are characteristically elicited by real or imagined emotions in others and they are directed at those emotions.” 9 Psychologically speaking, a person can only empathize with a person who is experiencing emotions or sensations that they themselves have experienced or are currently experiencing. However, a person can identify universally with the resulting emotions of a situation without having experienced the details of the experience itself (which is actually more sympathetic than it is empathetic). For example, as a born male I cannot fully empathize with suffering from menstrual cramps in this lifetime, but I can identify to an extent with some of the resulting emotions, such as pain, discomfort, and agitation. As an empath, 9. J esse J. Prinz, “The Moral Emotions,” The Oxford Handbook of Philosophy of Emotion (Dec. 2009), www.oxfordhandbooks.com/view/10.1093/oxfordhb /9780199235018.001.0001/oxfordhb-9780199235018-e-24.

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minor sensations of suffering may become invoked from the experience simply because the woman next to me is in a state of unease, but that is the extent of my empathy in the situation; another woman who experiences menstrual cramping could empathize in the situation on a much more acute, experiential level.

Let’s explore a few more key terms, since we’re on the topic. Concern is not necessarily empathetic in and of itself, though it can be an emotion that accompanies the empathic experience. Concern is the perception of a negative situation or predicament and is a type of worriment. Concern is an emotion, just like happiness, curiosity, or guilt, and is related specifically to anxiety and fear. While concern itself is not specifically empathetic, it is common to feel concern for another person while also experiencing empathy.

The term cognitive empathy (or intellectual empathy) describes when a person experientially steps into another individual’s state of mind. While this represents a type of mirrored experience, this experience remains part of the intellectual or cognitive domain, making it not actually empathetic but psychic: something related to the mind.

Psychologists prefer to differentiate between cognitive empathy and emotional empathy (also called affective empathy), but I tend to see cognitive empathy as relating more closely to sympathy (itself being mainly cognitive, with some emotion involved), while emotional/affective empathy is just another term for empathy (itself being mainly emotional, with some mental cognition involved).

Empathy is often mistaken for overreactive sympathy or overconcern. Feeling a great deal of concern and understanding for another person’s suffering is not necessarily empathic; instead, it tends to be a sort of reactive identification instead of emotional absorption. Molehills can easily transform into mountains, and overreaction can easily inspire dramatic self-victimization. Unfortunately, the act of overreacting to situations is often used as a showy display in order to elicit some type of personal gain through the approval or attention of someone else. To be perfectly frank, overreactive sympathy or overreactive concern is a manner of feigning or faking empathy. Oftentimes

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this is born of a fear of disapproval and can relate to the conditions of social phobia. This is similar to what metaphysical author Cyndi Dale distinguishes as “personalizing” in her book The Spiritual Power of Empathy. She explains that some individuals may seem to empathize with others when in actuality they are experiencing a well of their own emotions that are spilling out as a result of the emotion they have observed or sympathized with. Rather than truly experiencing another person’s pain, for example, the person who personalized the interaction is merely being reminded of their own pain instead of “empathing” with the other’s.

So what’s the difference between hypersensitivity and empathy? Empaths are indeed highly sensitive people—a trait that Carl Jung called innate sensitiveness—but not all highly sensitive people are empaths! In fact, many hypersensitive individuals demonstrate a profound lack of empathy and an increase in tendencies that lead to a separatist thinking of “me” versus “them,” whereas an empath would be more prone to instinctively focus on aspects of unity. The term highly sensitive person has been used for quite some time and is said to constitute one-fifth of the human population. It was popularized in Elaine N. Aron’s fascinating book of the same name, The Highly Sensitive Person.

The distinction I make is this: while both empaths and highly sensitive people are ultrasensitive to the energies, emotions, and judgments around them, sensitive people who are not overly empathic do not absorb or “take on” the energies around them; instead, they tend to personalize information and read deeply into situations—this can sometimes give the illusion of an empathic experience. Many highly sensitive, nonempathic individuals will almost always initially focus on themselves instead of feeling the instinct to focus on the other in any given situation.

Empaths are highly sensitive people, but not all highly sensitive people are empaths. Still, everyone, no matter how sensitive or insensitive, has empathic capabilities. There aren’t any hard-and-fast rules about being an empath versus being a regular ol’ hypersensitive.

Empaths are naturally introspective. By having awareness of our own cognitive and emotional processes, we can more easily understand other people’s inner landscapes. Empaths live primarily in their

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emotions, so it’s not just sympathy (or cognitive empathy) that we’re experiencing. Further, empaths care about others and want to activate that compassion in their daily lives. As I already mentioned, empathy implies responding compassionately to another person’s emotions.

When I refer to empaths, I refer to people who not only absorb emotions around themselves but also want to help alleviate others’ suffering. As empaths, it is our job to activate compassion throughout our daily lives, as constantly and consistently as possible, in order to help make the world a better place in every possible way we can. Is there really a greater purpose than that? I think not!

I’ve encountered a number of people with vindictive, cruel, judgmental, self-absorbed, and utterly abrasive personalities who claim to be strong empaths. I find this paradox difficult to digest, but objective spirituality requires impartial analysis. If you’re anything like me, hearing a clearly unempathetic person describe themselves as an empath is frustrating to no end—it even feels demeaning! My advice is take a step back, breathe, and realize that everyone is on their own path of personal growth. Keep in mind that the person in question may simply misunderstand the term or may be mistaking feeling moments of great empathy for “being” an empath. Another factor could be that seemingly unempathetic behaviors often serve as psychological walls, acting as a thick barricade to protect a person from the difficulties of emotional sensitivity. For some people, a cold, distant, and harsh personality is an instinctual way to separate themselves from the potential for recurring trauma. When dealing with unempathetic people who claim to be otherwise, remember that it’s good to keep in mind that everybody is a budding empath, even if their behaviors seem contradictory. Besides, we aren’t perfect either!

IN PRACTICE A Checklist for Empathetic Balance Here is a list of things that I suggest empaths avoid. Contemplate the items on this list and add to it based on your experience. Use a pencil to check the points that are most relevant to

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you personally. Consider ways in which you might be able to reduce or eliminate some of these things from your life. Write your addenda and contemplations in your journal or Book of Shadows. ❑ Too little sleep (or too much sleep) ❑ Not enough alone time ❑ A lack of creative outlets ❑ Disconnection from nature ❑ Overbooking yourself ❑ An extreme need to please, even at the cost of your own health or safety ❑ Addictive or escapist behaviors ❑ Habits of perpetual self-isolation and social distancing ❑ Judgmental, critical, draining, and manipulative people in your sphere of experience ❑ Excessively sweet, salty, or manufactured foods (these provide an illusion of comfort) ❑ Self-deprecating thought patterns and uncontrolled negative thinking ❑ Becoming defined by other people’s perceptions instead of your own individual views ❑ Feeling responsibility for healing or fixing every situation ❑ Neglecting to “sit with” or process emotions before moving on (or repressing them) ❑ Getting lost in other people’s emotions and allowing them to overtake your own ❑ Attempts to dull or deaden the emotional body as a coping mechanism ❑ Engaging in unproductive slander or gossip, even if it makes you feel closer to the gossiper

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❑ Being manipulated or persuaded by other people’s charisma ❑ Taking accountability or blame beyond what is healthy or accurate ❑ Putting your own needs and ideas last ❑ Forgetting to say no or draw personal boundaries ❑ Not paying attention in conversations; focusing on emotions instead of words ❑ Ending sentences with a mumble or assuming that others know what you’re saying ❑ Neglecting to objectively discern other people’s intentions or motivations ❑ Interacting on the computer or phone more than in person ❑ Responding to pain by becoming bitter, defensive, apathetic, or contradictory

Empathy Throughout History In very early human history, primary forms of communication were gestures and other types of body language, with verbal and written language developing much, much later. Even now, studies by UCLA professor Albert Mehrabian reveal that approximately 55 percent of human communication is nonverbal (in the form of body language), while 38 percent is based on the tone of voice, and only 7 percent is the actual words being used.10 Looking at our physical bodies, this makes sense: like many other animal species, we are capable of very intricate, precise communication through facial expressions, bodily gestures, hand motions, eye contact, and other social cues. We rely on a consistent message being conveyed simultaneously on all levels through words, vocal tone, and physical body language. Much of this communication is unconscious. We have developed complex and flexible anatomical features designed to convey every emotion or feeling imaginable. These physically 10. Links to Mehrabian’s research can be found at www.kaaj.com/psych.

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communicative features developed well before verbal or written language took root. Both vocal and visual communication utilize the same area of the brain, which goes to show that the two forms of communication are now neurologically complementary.

Scientific fields currently understand that, as humans continued to evolve, mental and emotional cognition developed simultaneously, hand-in-hand, with both aspects being equally significant in our evolution. In her book Raising Your Emotional Intelligence, psychologist Jeanne Segal states, â&#x20AC;&#x153;The emotional and rational parts of the brain have evolved together and, in fact, are intertwined, both structurally and biochemically, working together in a constant feedback loop.

Through this cooperative mechanism we achieve not only primitive self-preservation but also sophisticated creativity, empathy, sociability, and boundless self-knowledge.â&#x20AC;?

There is not enough gentleness in the world. Contemplate ways in which you can live your life more gently in terms of personal choices, your impact on the earth, how you talk to and about others, personal magickal ethics, and your own self-image.

In early hominid evolution, the development of emotional awareness and empathy between individuals actually served as a primal bonding mechanism to help ensure survival and progression through group solidarity. Think about it: emotional outbursts in the African savannah, for example, would have been incredibly dangerous, as they would have both scared off prey and alerted predators. Cooperation and behavioral awareness have long been keys to survival. Natural selection suggests that humankind may have evolved because of our emotional capacity and our ability to hold our tongues.

Skipping quite a ways forward, we see the first occurrence of funerary rites in the Middle Paleolithic Era (between 300,000 to 50,000 years ago). The occurrence of these rites demonstrates an emotional bond

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between the living and the deceased. The primary indicator for this sort of intentional, spiritually significant burial is the inclusion of grave goods: gifts or possessions buried with the person, intended for them to use in the afterlife.

Throughout the grand expanse of human development, emotions have, and continue to be, the glue that holds us together and builds us as a society. Sociology professor and author Jonathan H. Turner wrote, “Every facet of human endeavor is emotional. Without emotions, humans could not choose among behavioral alternatives, see themselves as objects, engage in face-to-face interpersonal behavior, organize groups, and construct the large-scale institutional systems cutting across societies and, today, a global network of societies. As much as language and the complex cultural systems that are made possible by language, humans’ emotional capacities are what make patterns of organization viable.” 11 I find it fascinating that the early Greeks had no word to express the modern English word emotion. Instead, pathos referred to affective emotion—a person’s reaction to an occurrence or incident—as a response rather than an independent sensation. Plato, Aristotle, and Socrates included some amount of emotional analysis in their philosophical discourses, but most of their explorations into emotion were concerned with aversive versus attractive stimuli pertaining to a person’s mind (cognition). People desire good food, company, shelter, and pleasures of the flesh, all of which can be seen as occurring on different levels of the mind and are the opposite of fear or aversion. Primary points of focus were the contrasting relationships between pleasure versus pain, confidence versus fear, and immediate versus lasting feelings, and how the mind interacts with the physical body. Different philosophies were, of course, explored differently in each school of thought. In general, emotions were recognized but were only rationally expounded upon in early Greek philosophy.

11. J onathan H. Turner, On the Origins of Human Emotions (Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press, 2000), chapter 5.

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Throughout the Middle Ages, emotions were typically studied alongside ethics. In Christian thought, emotions were equated with worldly desires and sin. Passions, emotions, and desires were viewed as components of the seven cardinal sins: greed, gluttony, anger, envy, pride, sloth, and lust. “Positive” emotions, on the other hand, were not viewed as emotions but as natural results of mental reason. Philosophers in the seventeenth century often saw emotions as forms of thoughts that could only serve to cause dissatisfaction, confusion, and unsatisfactoriness. Sheesh, what a dreary conviction! It’s no wonder that we in the West face such a struggle to come to terms with—and in many cases even acknowledge—our own emotional nature.

When discussing philosophical emotional development in the West, it’s interesting to note that Neoplatonist philosopher Saint Augustine referenced earlier Stoic views of emotion, viewing emotions as perturbations: disturbances that are contrary to reason. Augustine viewed emotions such as fear, anger, distress, and lust as being connected to original sin and the Fall of Eden. Stoicism, which Augustine seemed to have a love-hate relationship with, even saw positive emotions as human constructs that are irrationally misaligned with the natural order. Augustine himself tended more to see pious emotions as being necessary for Christian living and forging a connection to God. Later, Thomas Aquinas explored emotions in greater detail, referencing the interplay of opposing emotions and how emotions influence what happens in the physical body. For example, the somatic manifestation (side effect) of anger was seen as a boiling of blood around the heart.

Aquinas also studied the interplay of emotions, researching which emotions or actions could calm or agitate another emotion, and whether certain emotional states of being were unavoidable continuations of other emotions (for example, does the emotion of love always cause both joy and jealousy to occur?). Luckily, modern progressive Christianity is evolving to a more realistic worldview that is connected both to modern scientific discoveries and the valuing of empathetic experiences.

As a general rule in the Middle Ages, feelings such as sexual desire and hunger were seen as “base” feelings or “pre-emotions” (propassiones). Depression and sorrow were attributed to an excess of “black

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bile”—basically, a buildup of gross substance. The physical “humours” included the gall, spleen, choler, and blood itself, all of which were viewed as affecting the human body and mind when imbalanced.

Luckily, these fascinating views evolved as biological science developed over time. This was also the era of Western history that began paying particular attention to the interconnection between diet and nutrition with emotions or feelings—this was greatly due to the Arabic influence brought to the West by earlier Turkish conquests.

The Emotional Revolution in the West occurred during the Romantic era, which preceded the Victorian era and marked the first stage of the Industrial Revolution. Heartfelt romantic literature and Impressionistic art came alive during this period. At that time, human emotions were indeed valued but were expressed more for means of entertainment than social therapy.

Emotions were acknowledged and valued in the Victorian era, but they—like everything in Victorian times—had their own appropriate time and place; emotions were not meant to run wild or overshadow social etiquette. Many ailments of the mind were attributed to actual or imagined bodily imbalances, simply because they didn’t have refined knowledge of the brain and the nervous system at the time.

When people had cardiac issues, for example, these ailments were thought to be caused by issues having to do with love or generosity— things we still metaphysically associate with the heart.

In many ways, deeper levels of empathy were greatly suppressed in Western thought until the Romantic era in the nineteenth century. At the end of the Romantic era—which was in part a reaction to the scientific ideologies of the Enlightenment period—a newfound appreciation for the spectrum of human emotions became established socially and artistically. I think it’s safe to say that high levels of empathy are contrary to divisive forms of thinking such as xenophobia, racism, classism, and all of the other infectious-isms that have plagued humankind for ages.

To some extent, some of these historical points are generalizations, because expressions of empathy have long been socially dependent on a person’s situation, such as their cultural norms, family environment, global location, time in history, potential for war, amount of resources

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available, and so on. While emotion is a function of community survival, its levels fluctuate depending on a personâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cultural climate.

In the Western world, social expressions of empathy have taken shape particularly over the last century. Though human history is not my academic forte, my High Priestess Estha McNevin has an uncanny knack for understanding the subject. As a result, she has lovingly contributed the following information regarding empathyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s development in the twentieth century: In 1914, as the world wars began, peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s values regarding the important role emotions play in psychological health began to change. Whereas the Victorians believed in a world of poetic mysticism and faery tales bound up in stoic standards of emotional decorum and proprietary custom, boys of all classes were dying in unprecedented numbers during both world wars. Of the many who returned, a shocking number suffered terribly in our early days of academically grappling with PTSD and the many other psychological maladies of war. Well into our own era we have struggled to document, study, and accept the role that our own emotions play in our primeval adaptivity to, or our rejection of, violence and trauma.

Perhaps as a species we have truly faltered in our attempt to cope with our own population growth following the Industrial Revolution. We seem increasingly obsessed with class, lost to the custom and nostalgia of emotionalized materialism, if not endlessly bound to our shared birthright of independence, wild ambition, and fear. We seem to forget the core Western values of civil order in our adaptive need for primal comforts over actual justice.

We all need and deserve a humble emotional learning curve.

It would serve us to remember that we have only really just begun to understand how our emotions control everything, from our facial expressions to our life impulses. One hundred years ago we were rarely permitted to display uncontrolled emotions in public. Throughout the 1900s our obsession with romance, lyric, song, and poetry has often been a land of wild abandon and

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escape, used to veil humankind’s greatest emotional miseries of class oppression and unnecessary suffering.

In terms of our modern society, the most profound emotional revolution occurred during the 1960s as psychology evolved deeply as a science, defining a lexicon of emotions and their mental health implication with the works of Carl Jung and Avram Noam Chomsky. We began to acutely understand emotion as a neurological response to the stimuli found in our environment. The subsequent works of Paul Ekman, for example, have illuminated the study of human emotion as a precise physical language of cues and gestures that are closely linked with our ancestral genetics.

Advancements in how we understand our emotions have changed our prejudices toward many people in our society whom we once labeled as emotionally volatile or dangerous. We know that cultural inclusion, community activism, and the humane treatment of those with ‘“disorders” or “diseases” are essential standards to set when teaching or learning civic empathy.

While grandmas the world over know this is the nurturing path to compassionate living, not everyone is ready to walk the path of peace quite yet.

The only known cure I can recommend for human hopelessness is to think in terms of the Aeons, an idea that comes from ancient Egypt and is commonly expounded upon in Thelema and other magickal paths. We live in a New Age, another time of abrupt evolutionary awareness and keen adaptivity. The place of emotion in our shared human values must come to a peaceful balance, because an overabundance of emotion—being ruled by empathy—will also put us at risk. Now that we are more acutely aware of how our emotions affect us, we can discover new ways to communicate our inner realities and harness our feelings for the betterment of others by fostering happiness and helping to improve each other’s quality of life. We can all utilize empathy to become a truly intelligent and emotionally informed species.

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IN PRACTICE Experiencing and Healing Residual Emotional Energy Emotional energy has a way of sticking around. Even the most hard-and-fast atheist can have a firsthand experience with an environmentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s positive or negative energy, or with ghosts, hauntings, and other â&#x20AC;&#x153;supernaturalâ&#x20AC;? phenomena. Even the most skeptical person can feel a sense of relief after smudging with sage or asperging with saltwater after an argument has occurred.

Memorial sites are some of the most difficult places to visit because of the residual emotional energy present in these locations. Numerous memorial sites exist all over the world, many of which are situated in the very location where the war, atrocity, or disaster took place. For empaths and other emotional individuals, visiting these historical locations can result in a deeply grievous and confusing emotional experience, both because of the memories held in these locations and because of the residual emotional energy that still exists. For the empath who is prepared and is aware of the metaphysical realities of these locations, it can actually be an empowering experience to visit locations that hold deeply painful memories. Not only can we sit with the sorrow momentarily, but we can also choose to help transform some of those energies by lending a bit of our own healing energy, prayers, offerings, and magick. Because we can empathically jump on the current of these emotional vibrations, it gives us a unique opportunity to lend a bit of our own intentional healing to the situation and not just become overtaken by the energy.

American readers may be familiar with memorial locations of the Native Americans, many of which are situated on or near historic battlegrounds. Other memorials include the National September 11 Memorial and Museum, the Oklahoma City National Memorial and Museum, memorials for school shootings,

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and a variety of memorials constructed to honor those who lost their lives in hurricanes and other natural disasters.

Some memorial sites exist in locations far away from where the actual incidents occurred. Visiting the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, DC, for example, gives the empath an opportunity to project healing energy to the souls of these victims, even though the events took place on the other side of the world. We can also remotely lend empathic energy on days of historical remembrance, visualizing our energy and prayers radiating through time and space.

So what’s an empath to do at these locations? It’s simple, really. We can choose to make offerings to the departed, whether it’s incense, joss paper, fruits, vegetables, grain, liquor, or anything that’s appropriate for the memorial. I might choose to make offerings of organic tobacco, sage, sweetgrass, and maize at Native American battlegrounds, for example. Getting creative and sentimental with offerings—and listening to our intuition—allows us to tap into the residual energy and offer a little bit of light and hope to the remaining energy or spirits.

Try it yourself when you get the opportunity, and record your experiences in your journal or Book of Shadows. How can you actively empathize with a historic location and lend a bit of energetic healing on your own terms?

In addition to making offerings, we can help energetically transform some of the deeply sorrowful energies that may be present at any given location. Simple healing visualizations and spiritual work can help heal some of the energy of grief and loss at memorial locations. We can utilize our own unique callings, talents, and abilities to help positively influence residual energies in our own way, whether that be through visualizations, Reiki healing, spirit offerings, magickal workings, visual art, performance art, or any technique that personally resonates. Additionally, if an empath is in a balanced and confident state of mind, they can actively absorb and transform some of the violent or sorrowful residual energies that may exist in these locations.

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Please see the next chapter for techniques exploring absorptive versus projective empathy.

Scientific Studies in Empathy As you may have gathered, it’s reasonable to say that we in the Western world have developed with a sort of emotional impairment. Everything from ancient Greek philosophy to antiquated Christian thought has established a strict divide between the mind and emotion, generally seeing the intellect as sacred and emotions as profane.

Cognitive scientists have long studied the mind and its functioning without really taking the emotional body into account. Even now, many critics would argue that cognitive science falls short when discussing emotions because it subsumes the emotional body under the framework of the mind, as if emotions themselves were nothing more than a type of predictable cognition.

Socrates taught Plato, and Plato taught Aristotle. The latter, and other classical Athenian (Greek) philosophers, argued that emotions are more bestial and dangerous than is reason, and should thusly be controlled by reason (this also supported a model of social slavery and caste segregation). We find here that logic and reason take social precedence over emotions, not least because emotions have long been viewed as a weakness instead of a virtue. It’s time for those of us in the West to reevaluate and study our emotional capacities—and, I would argue, it’s time for us in the Western world to catch up with the more ancient and more emotionally developed perspectives held by Eastern philosophies. It’s time for the Western mind to catch up with the Eastern heart. Luckily, empathy is now being studied at an increasing rate in numerous scientific fields. Empathy is a very hot topic in the scientific community, and it’s about time! Interestingly enough, there is no exact, agreed-upon definition of empathy among researchers; this is largely because empathy is nonphysical.

Do you ever notice that you instinctively cross your arms when the person you’re speaking to is crossing theirs? Maybe you’ve noticed that

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someone you’re talking to clears their throat right after you do, or that the person you’re talking to starts playing with their hair at the same time you do. Maybe you’ve noticed that you break eye contact during a conversation when the other person does. These are examples related to empathy that often go unrealized in the course of normal communication. This exchange occurs by way of unconsciously observing, assessing, and synchronizing body language, vocal tones, and other subtle nuances of human communication. We humans constantly, and usually unconsciously, synchronize our behavior with those around us!

If you see someone who is genuinely happy and it inspires genuine happiness in you, an empathic link has just occurred via the biological principle of emotional contagion. You have “caught” the emotion; it has become reflected in your own emotional experience. Physiologically, this is due to a firing of mirror neurons in the brain. Emotional contagion is directly related to empathy.

Emotional contagion is especially noticeable if a person is romantically attracted to another person or is fully engaged in communicating with another. Motor mimicry, or unconscious imitation, is a demonstration of empathic communication occurring between individuals and has been studied since the 1700s! However, because it is not rooted directly in compassion, emotional contagion is not itself synonymous with empathy, though it is an empathetic experience. Even contagious yawning is imitative behavior due to unconscious communication, much like empathy. Even animals engage in contagious yawning!

We fascinating hominids constantly “catch” emotions during virtually every social interaction. According to the wonderfully insightful psychological studies of Elaine C. Hatfield, John T. Cacioppo, and Richard L. Rapson, emotional contagion is “the tendency to automatically mimic and synchronize facial expressions, vocalizations, postures, and movements with those of another person and, consequently, to converge emotionally.” 12

12. E laine Hatfield, John T. Cacioppo, and Richard L. Rapson, Emotional Contagion (New York: Cambridge University Press, 1994).

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Neuroscience recognizes that people unconsciously imitate each other as a mechanism for gaining approval from the other party or to simply understand the other party better. In this manner, mimicry is both physiological and social. The more a person likes or relates to another person, the more consistently “mirrored” behavior occurs.

The same can be said of a person who desires to connect with or gain approval from those around them. The reasons for this perceived need for connection or approval are many; we may wish to avoid disagreement, to gain status in a social unit, to make new friends or romantic connections, or simply because it is our nature to connect with those around us—the latter being most pertinent to the empath.

It’s helpful to describe a related empathetic occurrence called emotional countercontagion, a term that is recognized by Hatfield, Cacioppo, and Rapson and other psychologists. To give an example of emotional countercontagion, let’s say that you neglected to wash the dishes, vacuum the floor, and take out the trash yesterday when it was your turn to do so. Your housemate had reminded you numerous times yesterday (because guests will be arriving this afternoon), but you forgot about the chores and decided to have a Twin Peaks marathon all day instead. Now you are interacting with your housemate, who crosses his arms and gives you an angry scowl. Instead of crossing your arms and scowling back (which would be directly mirroring his upset emotion), you respond by loosening your shoulders and looking down in shame, saying, “Oops, my bad.” You immediately “empathed” their frustration but didn’t respond with frustration. By responding with “oops,” the empathic occurrence becomes self-focused rather than being based on a direct mirroring of the adverse emotion. Emotional countercontagion has just occurred.

Empathy is pleasurable. The very act of cooperating with other people releases dopamine in the brain, meaning that an average person’s pleasure centers are activated just from getting along with others.

In a world where we are taught an “us” versus “them” mentality, empathy is a remarkable tool.

The area of the brain most likely responsible for the empathetic experience is the right supramarginal gyrus, located in the cerebral

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cortex near the front of the brain. If this region of the brain is underactive, a person will greatly lack empathetic qualities. It’s important to note that a person can only empathize with another person if their own emotional state is either neutral or is similar to the state of the person they are empathizing with. I would surmise that people who identify as empaths are most often in an emotionally neutral state or can easily invoke their own emotions in order to identify with another person.

Physiologically, the naturally occurring hormone oxytocin assists people in reading facial expressions and body language. Studies led by Christopher Cardoso at the Concordia University in Montréal have shown that an increased or unusually high amount of oxytocin (whether naturally occurring or synthesized) leads to oversensitivity or hypersensitivity in a person.13 The individual becomes much more prone to “read into” body language, speech patterns, facial expressions, and so on. Though I’ve explained that emotional sensitivity itself differs from empathy, it is still an emotional phenomenon that can accompany empathy for a number of people. In the case of hypersensitivity, a person’s oxytocin level may be a contributing factor.

Contrary to outdated beliefs, our physical health works in conjunction with our mind and emotions. Luckily, physicians and other professionals in physical-healing fields finally are now being educated about clients’ emotions and are being taught to exercise empathy when consulting patients and clients; this integrates an affective dimension within the physiological science. In fact, a number of medical schools are empathically selective in who they allow into their programs: by selecting potential medical professionals who demonstrate empathic concern in the interview process, the school can virtually guarantee a higher rate of medical success stemming from trustworthy doctorpatient relationships.

13. C hristopher Cardoso, Mark A. Ellenbogen, and Anne-Marie Linnen, “The Effect of Intranasal Oxytocin on Perceiving and Understanding Emotion on the MayerSalovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test (MSCEIT),” Emotion vol. 14, no. 1 (Feb. 2014): 43–50, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24188065.

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The brain can be rewired by creating new neural pathways reinforced by repetition. This is one reason why behavior modification can be successful, positive thinking works, and practice makes perfect.

A book that expounds on empathy in a scientific light is Mirroring People: The New Science of How We Connect with Others by Marco Iacoboni. This book explores the scientific concept of mirror neurons.

For ages, scientists didn’t quite understand the neurological mechanisms that allowed people to identify with each other. It is now understood that these “mirror” cells in the brain serve to connect people behaviorally and emotionally. Recent research in neurological science—and by recent I mean the early 1990s—reveals that motor cells in the brain, located in the region called F5 (in the premotor cortex), fire not only as a person goes about actions and reactions in daily life but also as a person observes reality. These mirror neurons are also connected to people’s experience of their dreams as though they are actually experiencing the scenarios. Scientists now estimate that roughly 20 percent of the cells in F5 are mirror neurons.

If a friend is telling us about her fantastic romantic life, our own experiences of love are summoned in the mind, and we can have similar reactions to what our conversational partner is expressing. If we see someone pouring a glass of wine, a similar set of brain cells, our mirror cells, are activated as though we ourselves are pouring a glass of wine. If we see a film where the characters are experiencing deep levels of emotion, we too may well up with emotion (not to mention the fact that the actors themselves are utilizing their own empathic receptors by invoking those feelings in their performance)—this may be even more pronounced when viewing documentaries or “real-life” films. Likewise, when we see somebody in everyday life smiling, frowning, speaking in a certain tone, using certain body language, or otherwise communicating a particular emotion, associated mirror neurons

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are activated in the observer, causing the person to respond in turn. We can vicariously experience stories, plays, and films as if we were, to some extent, experiencing these things ourselves. Empathy deeply engages us with life’s experiences!

Mirroring is especially notable when observing facial expressions, of which the area of the brain called the amygdala is greatly in charge. The amygdala works in part with mirror neurons and thus is tied directly to empathic communication. The amygdala triggers the release of adrenaline in the adrenal glands, which is responsible for the fight-or-flight response. This area of the brain can be called the seat of emotions. According to scientific studies, those who have brain damage to the amygdala, or whose brain has irregularities in this area, demonstrate a decrease in empathy as well as a decrease in reactive fear. People with psychopathy or sociopathy, which are cultural labels for antisocial personality disorder, often have a lack of activity in this region of the brain.

Professor Iacoboni’s book makes the point that human development and personal connection are dependent on how we subtly communicate with each other, including the necessity of parroting or mimicking others as a method of learning and sustaining connection.

A healthy amount of imitation is indeed a normal process of human (and animal) functioning. To quote Iacoboni: Through imitation and mimicry, we are able to feel what other people feel. By being able to feel what others feel, we are also able to respond compassionately to their emotional states. … It seems as if our brain is built for mirroring, and that only through mirroring—through the simulation in our brain of the felt experience of other minds—do we deeply understand what other people are feeling. … We need [mirror neurons]. They help us recognize the actions of other people, imitate other people, understand their intentions and their feelings.14

14. M arco Iacoboni, Mirroring People (New York: Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 2008), pp. 114–131.

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If we don’t demonstrate empathetic qualities with the people we interact with, we cease to connect with them. Professor Iacoboni’s book also makes note of the social difficulty that plagues those who don’t have full mobility of their facial muscles; those surveyed feel as though a complete emotional connection with those they interact with is literally impossible. Without the ability to facially convey the emotions of oneself or another, an entire area of communication is impaired. This is a challenging disposition for people who are able to feel the complete spectrum of emotions yet are unable to fully express them.

Empaths and psychics can easily become proficient at reading microexpressions—especially psychics, because they function more prominently through the mind than through emotions. Microexpressions are split-second facial movements (and sometimes vocal intonations) that unconsciously or involuntarily occur naturally as a patterned habit of physical communication that we largely learn from others. Microexpressions allow for others to infer meaning beyond what is merely spoken by reading a person’s body language. A clever and fun television show exploring microexpressions is Lie to Me, which aired from 2009 to 2011.

Scientific studies show that facial expressions, whether micro or macro, are virtually universal when it comes to conveying particular emotions. Because we all express our emotions similarly, the observation of body language can help break down barriers of cultural communication.

A person’s face can show emotions but cannot show empathy. The face shows other microexpressions that relate to what a person is thinking or feeling, but it cannot show how deeply the person is empathizing. Facial expressions convey thoughts that have a momentary attachment to them, which can result in a feeling or an emotion, whereas thoughts themselves have no emotional response and are not always registered on the face.

Normative behavior for any society or group of people, regardless of time or geography, is very much contagious, whether it’s a style of dress, a preferred art, or an acceptable language. We conform to each other. It’s equally relevant to observe group dynamics when anger,

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paranoia, hatred, or insanity is the accepted norm. Mass hysteria, exemplified in the medieval witch hunts and other cases of bigotry and genocide, can occur when political force and social paranoia converge.

Just the same, peace, empathy, and generosity can also be organized on a massive cultural scale just as easily.

But what about “psychos”—don’t they lack empathy? Well, not always. Sociopathic and psychopathic minds are both capable of feeling sympathy; this is why both are said to exhibit cognitive empathy, or learned empathy. If a person is “almost” empathizing, they can choose to use their own sympathy to gain some level of emotional connectivity. They can make it appear as if they are experiencing emotional contagion without actually experiencing it at all. In some cases this is used as a method of manipulating others, either for personal gain or just to get by in life, depending on the person. Sociopaths will often target empaths because they know how to work us through manipulation.

But don’t get paranoid; be discerning.

Because the true empathetic experience includes a component of compassionate response, establishing a false sense of trust and identification with another person is the way that empathy can be faked for self-serving acts. Because people can be played and the idea of empathy can be exploited, many scientists believe that a solid foundation in personal ethics is what can encourage empathetic behavior to be used for positive purposes. In other words, not all people who seem to display empathy are inherently altruistic.

Antisocial personality disorder is a very real thing and has a peculiar connection to empathy. For example, psychopathy can be observed in children whose home environment is actually safe and loving. What makes a nine-year-old murder another child or mutilate animals with literally no feeling of remorse or guilt? What makes a five-year-old have no concept of compassion in any scenario? If the cause is not in the environment, it must be in the brain (and, I would argue, in carryover experiences from past lives). If people are born with varying levels of empathy, others must also be born with varying deficiencies. Psychopathic brain chemistry is, of course, potentially dangerous and is a complicated issue, yet it is still part of the spectrum of human experience.

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People have different empathetic capacities because of their physiology and because of their upbringing. A small handful of people are born with little conscience and virtually no empathetic capability. Psychopathy is considered a personality disorder marked by a decrease in ability to feel remorse and an increase in self-centered activities like pathological lying. Psychopathy accounts for less than 1 percent of a typical human population. Recent studies of psychopathy have shown that those who are psychopathic display proper brain functioning when it comes to feeling and sensing their own pain but do not respond similarly when they observe the pain of others; instead, there is an increase in activity in areas of the brain associated with pleasure.

Psychopathic individuals tend to be charismatic and are not the types of people that others immediately suspect to have a pathological condition, whereas sociopaths more often wear their frustrations on their sleeve and are prone to appearing emotionally unstable. Both psychopaths and sociopaths still have the capacity to emotionally connect to others on some level (this is more true with sociopaths).

Sociopathy is behavior that tends to be learned (nurture) rather than something one is born with (nature), while psychopathy tends to be the latter. For some, a sociopathic mentality is a response to childhood trauma and abuse that acts as a sort of safeguard: if a person deadens their emotional body, then experiences of emotional pain can be avoided. A sociopath may choose to engage in blatantly unpleasant, selfish, and antisocial behavior but is less likely to engage in directly harmful or criminal activity than a psychopath. Still, people can exhibit qualities of either diagnosis without actually behaving in terrible ways. People can cognitively know right from wrong without necessarily experiencing those concepts on an emotional level. Many diagnosed psychopaths and sociopaths are actually productive members of society who exhibit great cognitive abilities without exhibiting murderous tendencies. Individuals with psychopathic characteristics, in particular, can greatly excel in business and scientific fields. Spiritually, I would surmise that they have the ability to focus their intention very strongly and can naturally excel in theurgy and magickal work, though they may not fully comprehend the

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concept of karmic repercussion. In other words, though they exhibit less empathy, not all psychopaths or sociopaths are evildoers. It’s just easier to do horrible things if one lacks empathy or a conscience, so we understandably see a higher degree of destructive or criminal behavior in those who have these disorders (particularly psychopathy).

The medical term for someone who experiences an absence of emotion at all times is alexithymia. Harvard psychiatrist Dr. Peter Sifneos coined this term in 1972. Alexithymia doesn’t make a person immoral or sociopathic, but it can be problematic socially because others’ emotions seem unrelatable and foreign. Physiologically, this is likely due to a disconnection between the brain’s limbic system and neocortex. A person with this condition is likely to be unable to put their feelings into words, may be perplexed at their own expressions of emotion, and may misinterpret their own internal emotional pain as a physical ailment.

This is not the same as apathy, which is a lack of empathy, because with alexithymia, a person is devoid of emotional self-awareness by no fault of their own. Apathy represents a lack of interest and a lack of emotional investment (more of a reactive choice), while empathy is a complete engagement and experience of emotion. The empath can, however, experience moments of apathy as a defense mechanism, which I will explore later on. A related term, antipathy, is an aggressive or antagonistic feeling that is rooted in a deep aversion or disdain, and may most accurately be considered the antithesis (or opposite) of empathy.

IN PRACTICE Appearance Modification: An Empathetic Experiment Mirror neurons are constantly activated, allowing us to interact empathetically with other people, animals, and the environment in general. Because the body language of a person or animal almost always reflects their emotional state, an empathic connection between the observer and the observed occurs the

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majority of the time. However, mirror neurons themselves do not make empathy occur: they are only the catalyst.

What about those times when the way someone perceives you is markedly different from your actual emotional state? The manner in which we appear to others can dictate their responses and reactions to us. For example, if I find myself in a great mood, walking confidently and smiling to other people while I’m running errands around town, I tend to notice a lot more smiles returned from others than if I’m feeling gloomy or exhausted.

Emotional contagion can account for these experiences: emotions—or at least the perception thereof—are contagious!

My friend Elysia once told me about a time when she shaved off her eyebrows as part of a Samhain/Halloween costume.

While waiting for them to grow back, she decided to get creative by using makeup to create eyebrows of varying styles, patterns, colors, and so on. Once she drew her eyebrows dramatically down at the sides and raised in the middle. She forgot about it until her roommates started mirroring this expression of worry and concern for her. She laughed and told them she was fine and that it was just her eyebrows, yet her roommates continued to mirror that expression every time they saw her, automatically and unconsciously, even as they realized they were doing so. Unconscious emotional responses like these demonstrate the brain’s mirror neurons at work. While an experienced empath would be more likely to feel and absorb Elysia’s actual emotional state, the public at large was more likely to form unconscious conclusions based on her physical appearance or body language.

Give it a try: experiment with different styles of clothing, makeup, and accessories to alter your physical appearance.

Keep a log of how people interact with you in public situations, first noting how you expect them to respond and then how they actually respond. For example, you may try wearing a fancy business suit while you shop for groceries. Do the clerks and

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fellow customers treat you in a “professional” manner? What if you were to wear tattered, dirty, old clothes with unkempt hair?

How about punk-rock attire versus the clothing of a sports fan?

Or perhaps you’d like to experiment with your face. How do people respond to you if you wear smudged eyeliner that looks as if you were crying? What if you wear highly theatrical makeup? How about colored contact lenses? What if you walked around on crutches or wore beachwear in the middle of winter?

Using your personal or magickal journal, make a list of the various appearances you assume, detailing which small or large modifications you made. Note the locations at which you received certain responses, paying attention to even the smallest interactive detail. Reflect on how these interpersonal experiences exemplify unconscious mirroring. The goal of this activity is to gauge how many people allow their own emotions or feelings to reflect their immediate assessment of your physical appearance.

In contrast, you can also gauge how many individuals responded with an empathic knowledge of your actual emotional state at the time of the experiment. In the end, this experiment will increase the self-awareness of the practitioner by experiencing both empathy and social mirroring in public situations.

Empathy in the Media Watch out! Empathy is recognized not only in scientific and metaphysical circles but also in the media. We are likely to see more and more mentions of empathy in common media outlets over time as more writers and directors learn the social importance of portraying real emotional, human connections through multimedia art forms.

From Hallmark commercials to sitcoms to advertisements to primetime news, our emotions are pandered to and even manipulated. This produces, for better or worse, widespread public opinions and preferences rooted in large-scale emotional targeting.

In Stephen King’s Dark Tower series of books, comics, and games, an area of arctic tundra exists called the White Lands of Empathica,

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where all of the residents are empathic. Author H. K. Savage has also written The Empath Trilogy, which are young-adult books centered around supernatural beings and mystical powers.

A common media portrayal of empathy occurs in Star Trek: The Next Generation, where the ship’s counselor, Deanna Troi, is portrayed as a half-human with both telepathic and empathic powers. She utilizes her ability to link her consciousness with other people in order to accurately report their emotional state.

Also, in the original Star Trek series, an episode called “The Empath” featured an alien woman called Gem. In the episode, Gem saves her home planet by exemplifying self-sacrifice over self-preservation.

Gem is shown to absorb physical pain as well as emotional pain as part of her empathy. The episode centers on compassion for others. Gem’s character also has the ability to lift the pain from any person she touches and take this pain on herself. She is then able to release the pain with ease. While it is beautiful to think that empaths can instantly absorb and transmute a person’s pain, it’s not quite so easy in practice. Later in this book I will give pointers on ways a person can utilize their empathic skills to help momentarily transform another person’s emotional energy by way of conversation, interaction, and lovingkindness.

Empaths were also featured in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer television series from time to time (remember Barney the empath demon?), but a special media reference that stands out to me is the fiftieth episode of the television show Charmed, which was called “Primrose Empath.” The episode begins with a reclusive fellow who has chosen to lock himself in his apartment for the rest of his life. When the Witch Prue arrives at the scene, she discovers that the shut-in is attempting to avoid the pain of society that he is empathically receiving. Being a hypersensitive empath, he simultaneously absorbs the emotions and physical sensations of everyone around him, even across the whole neighborhood (a little unrealistic, but hey!). In order to protect this innocent soul, Prue rescues the dude by absorbing his empathic “power” so she can learn how to live with it herself rather than have him suffer through it.

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One of my favorite examples of empathy portrayed in cinema is in the Netflix original series Sense8, which is directed by Lana and Lilly Wachowski (the siblings who did The Matrix, Cloud Atlas, and so on).

In the series, eight very diverse strangers from around the globe are mysteriously bound together, sharing emotions and sensations between each other from great distances. While the term empath is not specifically used, their experiences are both psychic and empathic, displaying the evolutionary force of human connection as being transcendent of all personal or cultural barriers.

As you can see, the public knowledge of human empathy (particularly empathy as a spiritual power or ability) is here to stay, take root, and evolve—and to eventually become more accurately represented.

We can expect more recognition of this ability, whether it is portrayed as something natural or supernatural, as both science and spirituality evolve, and as the artistic side of the various types of media chooses to express the very real (and human!) occurrence of empathy.

IN PRACTICE Studying Empathy in Mass Communication The public can be reached through and influenced by many different mediums. Broadcast media include film, television, radio, and music. Print media include books, magazines, newspapers, flyers, pamphlets, and other printed materials. Other expressions of media include outdoor advertising, public speaking, and digital media (Internet and mobile).

Mass media is not exclusively used as a platform for art or education. The media is greatly utilized to influence and manipulate the public on a global level. The media is a psychologically advanced industry. Those who craft advertisements, for example, could be using their profoundly influential power to create a better world by promoting social awareness and progressive choices in viewers—and some of them do! Most, however, try to sell us a bunch of shit we don’t need so their profit margins can increase. It’s so very strange to me that humans

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can make such vast progress in any given field and then hit a solid brick wall when it comes to the simple concept of ethics over money.

Mass communication influences the world. We are constantly bombarded with information designed to create specific emotional responses in the viewer or listener. When we see an advertisement for animal rights or human rights, for example, we don’t see happy, healthy, radiant beings portrayed; we are shown scenes of sadness and desperation. These portrayals encourage an emotional reaction aligned with the mission of the organization, and often these portrayals are needed to create positive change for the individuals that the nonprofit organization is aiming to help. Just the same, we are shown images of sultry and sensuous beauties giving their best “do me” face to help sell perfumes and cosmetics—sold by companies that may dump poisonous chemicals into the drinking water of the very people portrayed in the previous advertisement or may perform cosmetic experiments on the very animals that were shown suffering in the previous ad. What an ironic, illusory, and multifaceted world of multimedia.

Begin your empathic exploration by turning on a local radio station. It doesn’t matter which station you’ve tuned in to; just pay special attention to the advertisements. If you’d like, flip through the channels until you get one that’s playing ads.

Pay close attention to the message that’s being communicated.

On a mental or intellectual level, how are the advertisers aiming to grab your attention and persuade you toward their objective?

Next, take a step back mentally and observe the vocal inflections used throughout the adverts. What type of feeling is being projected to the listener, and what is its purpose on an emotional level?

Next, find some magazines and flip through the articles and advertisements, even if this means going to your local library to browse the donated periodicals. Instead of paying attention to the articles or advertisements, observe the facial expressions

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and body language of the models presented throughout. Try modifying your body language and facial expressions to match the models’. How does this make you feel? How does this connect to the article or advertisement? Do you feel these photographs were designed specifically to create some type of emotional response in the viewer?

Next, turn on the television if you have one (otherwise just hop on YouTube and let the pre-video commercials play). Pay close attention to the speed of the ads and the colors they use in the advertising. Which visual elements are designed to persuade viewers to respond in a certain manner? Where is your eye drawn? Do the actors and models represent the true human population or are they limited to a certain ethnicity, body type, or set of behavioral norms?

Finally, watch a television program or movie. You may instead choose to flip through the channels and observe different styles of programming. Throughout your viewing, try modifying your facial expressions to match the actors’. Can you invoke the emotion they are portraying on film? How do their emotional expressions align with the story, and what kind of emotional state do you feel the actors themselves were experiencing on the particular day they were working on set? What was going through the actors’ heads? Is their method-acting strong enough to eclipse their personal emotions, or do you catch psychic glimpses of their personal emotional states distinct from the film or program? Document these findings in your journal and repeat the exercise whenever you feel the need to observe empathic energy from this vantage point.

EMPATHIC CONTEMPLATION The ASMR Phenomenon A number of people occasionally experience a sensation of blissful, hypnotic tingling and goose bumps on the head, neck, scalp, and shoulders when they experience a certain type of empathetic connection. Some

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refer to the sensation as attention-induced euphoria, a term coined by Andrew MacMuiris, but the most commonly accepted term is autonomous sensory meridian response (ASMR), coined by Jenn Allen.15 This phenomenon is fully experienced only when a person is socially engaged in a nonjudgmental, empathically receptive state of mind.

ASMR is an experience that, for many, bridges the physiological and the metaphysical.

I remember when I was around ten years old and would refer to ASMR as “feeling shy” for a person (I didn’t know how else to put it).

The tingly sensation would occur when someone else would behave in a sweet, innocent, or helpful manner, such as when demonstrating compassion or performing some sort of kind favor. I still feel this from time to time even now! Some people get this endorphin-powered “brain massage” when they are receiving gentle instruction or explanations from another person, when they are receiving care from a kindhearted doctor, when someone is speaking with an accent, when they are the recipient of a random act of kindness, when they are observing a person who is very focused on a task, or when someone touches their hair. Others say it occurs when they feel a sense of sharing an experience with another person (even if it’s an instructional video) or when they feel the other person is nurturing or endearing.

Some people experience ASMR from spending time with children or interacting with individuals who are especially humble or kind. Many say the experience makes them feel like a child again who is in the position of receiving love, care, or compassionate instruction, making it a crucial link between civic altruism and self-soothing endorphins.

This sensation of feeling genuinely cared for by a nonjudgmental, nonmanipulative person may be connected to early childhood development and may be reinforced by the fact that adults often interact with people who are less “pure” or gentle on a daily basis. The feeling is similar to getting goose bumps when hearing a very emotionally moving song or watching an emotional video. The endorphin-fueled 15. M ore information about both MacMuiris and Allen can be found at ASMRUniversity.com.

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experience of ASMR is sometimes called a “brain orgasm,” though it is entirely nonsexual in nature.

This strange feeling has not been studied in depth, though there are some independent studies being done, such as those at www .ASMR-Research.org. There are Internet threads, groups, and discussion forums dedicated to the experience. There’s even an ASMR app for smartphones! Some members of the growing ASMR community create intricate videos on YouTube that make use of whispering, crinkling, tapping, chewing, subtle nature sounds, and gentle roleplay devoted solely to inspiring these empathetic tingles—and some of these videos have hundreds of thousands of views. Video and audio recordings only sometimes induce ASMR for me, but a handful of real-life situations easily do. My favorite ASMR-inducing YouTubers are Check It Out, yanghaiying, and even CrazyRussianHacker. (What can I say?

Accents often do it for me—it’s different for everyone!) A number of people use ASMR videos of all varieties for relaxation and sleep inducement, even if they don’t necessarily experience the actual tingling sensations of ASMR. All current terms and research for this sensation come from private individuals rather than scientists. This strange, comforting sensation seems to be linked directly to empathy, and I hope that scientists will examine this in future years.

CHAPTER MEDITATION Observing Empathy at Large For this empathic meditation, pick a time and place where you can people-watch for up to an hour. A good place might be a shopping mall in the midst of a Saturday afternoon consumer rush. A more comfortable choice might be a public park at the same time, or an outdoor concert venue.

1. Begin by getting comfortable in your environment. Find a bench or a spot on the grass (if you’re outside) where you will be able to sit comfortably and watch people as they go past you, to and fro. Bring this book with you so it looks like you are reading,

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when in actuality you are secretly observing others. Just try not to look like an empathic investigator—or a voyeuristic creep!

2. Draw attention to your breath. Take deep and meaningful breaths to calm and center your energy. Count your inhalations and exhalations if necessary. With your book in hand, enter a place of inner peace and quietude, even amid the hustle and bustle surrounding you. Get in your own little world.

3. Envision yourself surrounded by a crystalline barrier of energy.

This will help establish a small protective barrier, even by means of a simple visualization. As your aura expands to meet this visualized barrier, see yourself in a state of blissful awareness and peace. You are now safe to observe others and will not be affected by their energy to any significant degree.

4. As you pretend to read, bring your attention to the sounds around you. Listen for snippets of people’s activities. Hear their feet as they tread, their bags as they shuffle, their conversations as they speak. If you’re outside, you might hear birds chirping, squirrels running about, or wind blowing through trees.

5. As you look up from the book, bring your focus to the energy field of one particular person or situation that catches your attention. Feel the energy flowing from your gaze to the person or situation. Feel yourself energetically interacting with them without them being aware that they’re observed. If your subject has company, pay attention to how other people in the situation are responding or interacting. Pay attention to the subtleties of the person or situation: how are they communicating? Pay attention to their vocal tone, their body language, their subtle tics and quirks. If at any time you feel nervous or watched, simply bring your attention back to the book you’re holding.

6. Continue to covertly perform this activity on other people and situations. Examine the nuances of each social interaction that catches your attention. Experiment by viewing solitary individuals, couples, parents, children, families, flocks of teenagers, people talking on their phone, people reading a book, and so on. Don’t

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analyze or theorize about the individuals themselves; simply analyze their social interactions.

7. Form your own conclusions about how empathy is being utilized in these situations. Are some people expressing or exchanging more empathy than others? Does everyone seem to have a similar attitude, or are different people experiencing different emotional extremes? Does anyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s behavior reveal them to be engaged in emotional contagion? Does anyone intuitively sense you watching them?

8. When you feel as though youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve sufficiently observed these varieties of social interactions, write about your experiences and observations in your journal or Book of Shadows and see how the experience adds to your perspective of human empathy and energy exchange. If you choose to perform this meditation regularly, you may consider bringing your journal with you to document your observations while you are in the process of performing the activity.

Body, Mind & Spirit / Magick Studies

“Going straight to the heart of the mystery of love, divine and human, this is a work from one of the most truly original thinkers of our time.”

—Lon Milo DuQuette

Discover the unlimited spiritual potential of empathy This powerhouse of a book examines the experience of empathy from every imaginable angle, taking the reader on a philosophical and experiential journey of what it means to be empathic. Specifically written with the magickal or mystical practitioner in mind, the book introduces techniques, practices, and philosophies designed for empaths to get the most out of life’s journey, including: • How to function in society as an empath • Psychic gifts related to empathy • Rituals, meditations, spells, and spiritual exercises • Stones, herbs, tools, plants, and deities for empaths • Grounding, shielding, and protection techniques • How to create personal boundaries and routines • How to work with stress, anxiety, and depression • Empathy in history, science, and metaphysics • Emotional contagion and mirror neurons • Absorptive versus projective empathy • Ways to empower yourself as an empath Whether you experience empathy on a regular basis or simply want to know more about this fascinating topic, Esoteric Empathy provides much-needed answers about the emotional abilities that are ushering our species into a new phase of conscious evolution.

Raven Digitalis is a Neopagan Priest and co-founder of a nonprofit community temple called Opus Aima Obscuræ (OAO). Also trained in Eastern philosophies and Georgian Witchcraft, Raven has been an earth-based practitioner since 1999, a Priest since 2003, a Freemason since 2012, and an empath all of his life. He is a professional Tarot reader, DJ, small-scale farmer, and animal rights advocate. Raven lives in Missoula, Montana, and can be found online at www.ravendigitalis.com. $19.99 US / $22.95 CAN

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