The Satyr's Kiss, by Storm Faerywolf

Praise for The Satyr’s Kiss

“Storm Faerywolf has given us a road map and guidebook for grounding the gay men’s spiritual journey in an active practice that is at once political, spiritual, and profound. It is joy to read! Faerywolf takes the reader on his personal journey making it clear why the queer myths, symbols, and spiritual practices, known since antiquity and across cultures, can be significant for today’s gay man. We wholeheartedly recommend The Satyr’s Kiss.”

—Randy P. Conner and David Hatfield Sparks, authors of Encyclopedia of Queer Myth, Symbol, and Spirit

“I was surprised by how deeply this book spoke to me Every gay Pagan man should have a copy of The Satyr’s Kiss. The rites can be adapted to your own tradition or can be the foundation for an entirely new and complete tradition as Storm presents them in his book.”

—Alaric Albertsson, author of To Walk a Pagan Path

“A brilliantly bewitching journey into the sacred implications of what it means to be Queer. Whatever variety of Queer you find yourself, this finely crafted and compassionate book ushers us into both our personal wisdom and empowerment...This book is revolutionary, touching on subjects never before explored in a modern metaphysical sense...This work balances a solid foundation in historical academia while invoking modern Witchcraft in a realistic and empowering light. This book brought me to tears and is one I will treasure all my life.”

—Raven Digitalis, author of The Empath’s Oracle and Esoteric Empathy

“Thought-provoking, tastefully presented, and thorough, The Satyr’s Kiss is an informative and practical guide for not only sex magic, but also for a more fully realized craft practice. Tailored to meet the needs of queer men seeking methods of tapping into their personal magic, this book is filled with insight, experienced-based advice, and a variety of unique and useful spells and rituals. This work serves as both an enlightening and valuable resource for the queer witchcraft community.”

—Michael Furie, author of The Witch’s Book of Potions

“Readers looking to explore the powerful connections between queer male identity and the worlds of witchcraft and magic will find much to challenge and arouse them in this celebration of gay sexuality. Faerywolf provides an accessible blueprint for creating a queer-centric practice and hands-on techniques for powerful workings designed to uplift, empower, and enlighten.”

Michael Thomas Ford, author of The Path of the Green Man

“More than an excellent collection of rituals, spells, wisdom, and lore, [this book] is a map and a trusted guide to find your way to a home you never knew you deserved. Regardless of your particular path, if you are queer with a male identity, you will want this book in your collection.”

Ivo Dominguez Jr. author of The Four Elements of the Wise

“Storm guides the reader on a rollercoaster ride through queer magic and sexual expression and connection, in a refreshing and uplifting manner...Deeply provocative and deliciously expressive—I could not put this book down.Your eyes—and your loins—are in for an exquisite ride that will transform your magical practice and your perception of Queer men in Occulture.”

—Kristoffer Hughes, Chief of the Anglesey Druid Order, author of From the Cauldron Born, and the man behind the wig of Welsh language television drag queen Maggi Noggi

“An empowering celebration of queer witchcraft that not only gives queer insight into traditional spellwork but also blazes a new trail of queer-specific spells created for queer men in the craft.”

—Tomás Prower, author of Queer Magic

THE SATYR'S KISS

About the Author

Storm Faerywolf is a published author, experienced teacher, visionary poet, and professional warlock. He is a regular contributor to Modern Witch and is a founding teacher of Black Rose, an online school of modern folkloric witchcraft. He has written several books, including Betwixt and Between, Forbidden Mysteries of Faery Witchcraft, and The Stars Within the Earth (Mystic Dream Press, 2003). For more, visit his website at faerywolf.com.

The Satyr's Kiss: Queer Men, Sex Magic & Modern Witchcraft © 2022 by Storm Faerywolf. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever, including internet usage, without written permission from Llewellyn Publications, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

First Edition

First Printing, 2022

Cover design by Shannon McKuhen

Rider-Waite Smith cards are based on those contained in The Pictorial Key to the Tarot by Arthur Edward Waite, published by William Rider & Sons, Ltd., London, 1911 All other interior illustrations by Mara Benowitz

Llewellyn Publications is a registered trademark of Llewellyn Worldwide Ltd.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data (Pending)

ISBN: 978-0-7387-6770-3

Llewellyn Worldwide Ltd. does not participate in, endorse, or have any authority or responsibility concerning private business transactions between our authors and the public. All mail addressed to the author is forwarded but the publisher cannot, unless specifically instructed by the author, give out an address or phone number.

Any internet references contained in this work are current at publication time, but the publisher cannot guarantee that a specific location will continue to be maintained. Please refer to the publisher’s website for links to authors’ websites and other sources.

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Printed in the United States of America

Other Books by Storm Faerywolf

The Stars Within the Earth (Mystic Dream Press, 2003)

Betwixt & Between (2017)

Forbidden Mysteries of Faery Witchcraft (2018)

The Witch's Name (2022)

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to the queer Witches and Warlocks everywhere who dare to interpret myth, magic, and life on their own terms, and to the queer ancestors from all races and cultures who have made today possible for us.

IO EVOHE! Blessed be.

Acknowledgments

There are many people whom I wish to thank for the creation of this book. My beloved partners: Chas Bogan, Devin Hunter, and Mat Auryn. Thank you for your love and support. You have each listened to me ramble on about queer history, magical theory, sex magic, and ritual, giving me a space to further develop my thoughts. I could not have done this without your help. I couldn’t hope for a better queer magical family.

Christopher Penczak, who graciously agreed to write the foreword. In the witch-world, which is often volatile and full of clashing egos, you have been a constant source of friendship, kindness, wisdom, and support. Thank you for being a true friend and brother of the art.

Those who agreed to read parts of my manuscript and offer ideas and notes: Christopher Blackthorn, Michael Cabrera, Christopher Corey, LMFT, Mitchell Diaz, Charles Harrington, Eron Mazza, Christopher Michael, Sky Miles, Steven Morningstar, Grey Townsend, and Marcus Wolf. Thank you for your feedback, your suggestions, and just for letting me bounce my ideas off of you. This has helped more than you know. Thank you for putting up with my constant layout and numbering revisions, as well as my habit of going back several chapters and adding new materials. This was an eye-opening experience for me in terms of my writing process and so I thank you for being a part of it.

Thank you to Vicky Gutiérrez, aka “Mamma E,” for your blessing and for helping me with the entry for your son, Eddy. Thank you for keeping his spirit alive in the magical communities that you serve and for your kind heart and supportive spirit.

To my Beloved Dead of the Craft:

Kalyn, who taught me that being queer in the Craft wasn’t something to be merely tolerated but actively celebrated

Claudia Lorie, with whom I had many over-the-counter chats at the shop, and who first taught me about Asushunamir.

Katy Swan, whose loving heart and creative spirit were infectious and drew many of us together for the work. Thank you for those memories.You were taken too soon.

Acknowledgments

Valerie Walker (Veedub), badass Faery Witch who taught me that it was okay for Witches to “go against the grain,” and in fact, it was practically expected. And Eddy Gutiérrez, my friend with whom we spent several nights chatting about magic, the Craft, Reiki, spirits, and of course sex, over probably too many pomegranate margaritas. I wish we had more time to know each other in this life. Here’s to the next.

Disclaimer

This work is intended for adults of legal age only. Some of the exercises and rituals given in this book refer to activities that may not be safe to perform and/or substances that may not be legal to possess depending on your location.

In terms of rituals involving sexual activity, it should be clearly stated that no one should be forced into having sex as part of practicing Witchcraft, including but not limited to initiations. This book is intended for those who wish to incorporate sex into their magical workings and stresses that all participants be willing to engage sexually as well be of legal age to be able to make full informed consent.

Regarding sexual activity involving the exchange of bodily fluids, the reader is advised to make their own decisions in concert with advice from their doctor. In terms of certain herbs or other substances, it is again important to consult a doctor before imbibing anything new. Neither the author nor the publishers take any responsibility for any damages, injury, or legal trouble that may result, directly or indirectly from the use of any of the practices given herein. Any exercise, ritual, or practice described in this book may be easily augmented to omit any element, practice, or substance with which the reader may feel aversion or discomfort.

Foreword

Witchcraft and queer culture, two things that were once discovered as part of a great mysterious quest to satisfy a yearning in the soul, are now found everywhere. They are like the Materia Prima, or First Matter of the alchemists. This is the mysterious substance found everywhere but hidden in plain sight so that few actually see and recognize it. Magick and queerness are everywhere, and most people fail to recognize either of them clearly. Even when so ubiquitous in modern popular culture, people still fail to really see them. However, I am stunned at their overt manifestations everywhere. I think if you asked me about this when I began on the crooked path of the Witch, I would be stunned to know the future held such overt embracing of the symbols of both Witchcraft and queer culture, yet they have always been there, hidden in the cracks and found at the edges of the shadows, influencing culture, art, music, and fashion. Today in many circles it’s actually cool to be a Witch or queer, and many practitioners are both, for an added bonus. The growing voice and presence of both in mainstream culture is a wonderful but staggering surprise.

The quest to find what is hidden in plain sight is the classic hero’s journey. Seemingly an overt adventure out in the world, it’s really a journey to the inner worlds and the entry point for the adventure is anywhere we are. The hero goes on a far-off exotic quest to ultimately understand they didn’t have to go anywhere. This wisdom is held in the classic modern Witchcraft text The Charge of the Goddess:

“And you who seek to know Me, know that your seeking and yearning will avail you not, unless you know the Mystery: for if that which you seek, you find

not within yourself, you will never find it without. For behold, I have been with you from the beginning, and I am that which is attained at the end of desire.”

Yet the quest is the catalyst to urge us to explore the worlds within, and to find the magick all around us. The process of getting out into the world; talking to unfamiliar people; making new friends, allies, and lovers; being challenged; and going to strange and exciting new places opens those unexplored parts of ourselves.

My own quest to explore both my spirituality and my sexuality took me in seemingly two different directions around the same time, and, strangely, each overlapped with the other in ways I didn’t expect.

To find magick, I was fortunate to be living near Salem, Massachusetts, and had been invited to attend my first Samhain celebration on the infamous Gallow’s Hill by my art teacher, who, unbeknownst to me at the time, was pretty involved with the coven of Witches hosting the event. That Samhain celebration turned out to be a madhouse of television crews and documentaries on Halloween night as that year was an important anniversary of the historic Salem Witchcraft Trials. Soon that journey led to my own studies with Laurie Cabot who teaches a Witchcraft tradition that was not dominated by heteronormativity. There I met my first open, out, and proud queer people in my classmates. I still wasn’t out yet myself, but they gave me hope and courage. This began an adventure in magick that is still unfolding to this day, with me now inviting the curious to my own community’s Samhain celebrations and opening the door to those who seek. Thankfully, we rarely have television crews documenting us.

When I was exploring my sexuality, it was the days of newspaper personal ads in queer papers and, if out in the major cities, seedy clubs in industrial parks and dangerous neighborhoods you wouldn’t find unless you knew what you were looking for. But the true culture of my queer journey was in the gay bookstores that were a wonderful mash-up of fine literature, art, photography, and pornography. Like the seemingly secret mythos of the Witch, queer culture and history was a hidden treasure then.You had to seek it out. There was always a bit of danger in the quest, even if it was only to your own sense of self.

That wonderful Witchy art teacher urged me to check out some books in the Boston Public Library in my art studies. While straight herself, through her connections in the art world she dropped the hint that the library was a notoriously cruise-y place for gay men to meet, at least according to her gay friends. It was also the place where Laurie Cabot met her first Witchcraft teacher, Felicity Bumgardner, working there as a librarian when Laurie was a young girl. While the library was a crossroads for me for many years, including being the assigned meeting spot for the Temple of Witchcraft to meet when marching in the Boston Pride Parade, it was the gay bookstore, Glad Day Books, across the street, that really opened a new door. On the bottom shelf in the corner, I came across Witchcraft and the Gay Counterculture by Arthur Evans. Here, with a simple paperback adorned with a devilish horned satyr face on the cover, my two quests became one in a single moment. It was the first real overt connection of the two, at least for me.

Soon after, I encountered more of the prejudices of other Witches seeking to enforce a heteronormative bias for all Witches and the backlash of not conforming to it. While I knew about it, in my training such philosophy was thankfully presented as one of many ways, not the only way, and not our way. Laurie emphasized the psychic power of the Witch, not fertility. For my first few years in Salem, I was blissfully ignorant of such tensions. Still, it was stunning at the time and might have been a bucket of cold water on my face to shock me out of my love affair with the Craft, as I was not expecting the same prejudices of the mainstream world in my beloved magickal counterculture. Simultaneously, I encountered those who fortified my spirit and kept me anchored in my Craft. Due to the distance diminished by the virtues of the newly growing Pagan Internet, I “met” more openly gay practitioners discussing their sexuality in context with their magick and spirituality. This began the seeds that would grow to be my book Gay Witchcraft, and this began my first encounters with Storm Faerywolf.

Storm was there, openly sharing both online and in correspondence, his experiences, art, and teachings. His genuine warmth and sincerity shone through and many years later we met in the flesh and my perceptions of him online were

confirmed. It’s been amazing to see him bring his work and passion out to a wider community as a speaker, teacher, and author as our friendship has grown. We’ve attended many a convention and festival together, and I have seen his transforming work firsthand and observed its blessing among those who have attended. I remember clearly the first time he guided me through the Amethyst Pentacle with the accompaniment of his singing bell, and while that technique would be worth it alone, there is so much more to be found in his work.

In this book, you have the benefit of someone who has been living his truth and honing his Craft since those early days of queer online and in-person Witchcraft. I can’t think of too many from those days still active in community and teaching now. There are a few of us, but most have quietly disappeared. Storm has grown bolder and more active as time has gone on. His work has not only endured, but grown and evolved. This hasn’t happened without controversies, but those controversies have only refined the work and made Storm stronger. He has seen the trends—what has come and gone—and knows what works in our timeless traditions while not being afraid to explore and experiment. I have always found his counsel wise and his heart open.

Gathered here is the wisdom of Storm’s many years of teaching, leading rituals, and being a part of groups for us brothers of the art and beyond. In these days where raw information and constant opinion can be overwhelming and the voice of wisdom hard to find and hear in the din, this book is a voice of wisdom in the world of the Witch.

Christopher Penczak

June 2021

On Being a Queer Warlock in a Straight Witch’s World

I am queer.

When I use this term, it is an attempt to reach poetically (and, therefore, magically) into the realm of “the Other.” To some degree, I stand outside the societal norm, existing on the outside looking in. As a queer person, I am the walker between the worlds, the dancer at the gates of twilight. Being queer is a vitally important aspect of who I am, of how I relate to the universe. It is much more than sharing my bed with another man. It colors my perception, focusing my awareness in a way that is somewhat different from that of the mainstream.

Queer stems from what was first intended to be an insult but, through the efforts of many brave gender and sexual nonconforming people, the term has been reclaimed by some to represent perseverance in the face of adversity and pride where we were once forced to feel shame. It is an inclusive term as gay, lesbian, bisexual, asexual, transgender, intersex, and other gender and sexual nonconformists (and even heterosexual allies who identify with the term) can all find a place under this many-colored umbrella, making it a potent political—and magical—term.

I am also a Warlock.

Though many in the Pagan community respond with judgment and scorn at hearing the word, I use that term specifically—and proudly—to challenge

the false assumptions that this word is an insult and has no place in our Craft. While it is true that the origin of the term speaks of the betrayal of a covenant, since Warlock is a firmly Christian-era term, we should be under no illusions as to whose covenants were being broken. It is a word associated with magic, and from the authoritarian Christian perspective that is enough to label it as being of their “Devil.” It was meant to be an insult, to disempower. But that only works if we buy into it, if we accept their stunted version of the truth.

It is also a word specifically associated with men, but also one that attempted to emasculate men who practice Witchcraft by trying to shame us for engaging in what the Church and even much of present society, have largely considered to be a “womanly art.” As an insult applied to men, it is rooted in misogyny, as most insults against men are, for in the patriarchal mind there can be nothing lower than that which is deemed “feminine.” Masculinity is a temporary (and revokable) condition that is only afforded to those who toe the line and agree to reinforce the toxic mindset and behavior so glorified by a culture obsessed with dominance, with exploitation, and with death. Challenge these pillars of the patriarchy and be condemned to the outer darkness of obscurity and scorn. At least, that’s what they would like us to believe.

Warlock was yet another term meant to scorn and condemn, but as queerfolk we are no strangers to transforming the words intended to be used against us. Call us faggots, or fairies, or flamers, or queens, or queer We take these supposed insults, and we make them into things of humor, and of beauty, and of pride. We make them into things of power

We are men who love one another. We take delight in the company of our brothers, exciting our passions, indulging our appetites. We have hidden in the shadows for eons, venturing out under the cloak of night to gather and celebrate with our brethren in illicit taverns, in derelict parks, and in back alleyways. Here we could embrace with a tenuous safety; our fears of being arrested, or beaten, or worse, giving way to our deep need to connect with others like ourselves. This connection is an affirmation of who we are at our core: the primal need of sex, and pleasure, and human bonding.

We have built our own culture with our own language and our own customs. And though we have been historically condemned by those in power, we have always found a way to thrive; to take the scraps of what has been left for us and transform them into something glamorous, something spectacular, something to give us hope and a reason to celebrate who we are, even when the world demands of us that we do not.

We have fought. We have endured. We have even triumphed, though there is still so very far we must go. But we take our history as inspiration to continue. If our queer ancestors could find hope in those even darker times, then it is our duty to continue on, to carry the light into the next generation. We are called to keep that light alive. We are called to be the guardians of queer spirit.

Though I am gay, and this book is written primarily with that perspective in mind, I will most often use the word queer in the effort of inclusivity, as most often bisexual, trans, and questioning men are excluded from the conversation when it comes to men who have sex with other men. To this, however, I must add that I can really only speak to my own experience, and as such, while I strive toward inclusivity, I cannot directly speak to the unique experiences of bisexual, trans, or nonbinary individuals. I will attempt to include these people in my vision, but in the end my work here is focused primarily on homosexual cisgender men, as that is what I am and so on that subject alone can I speak with the authority that personal experience affords. And even here I can be under no illusions that I am able to speak for all gay men. No community is a singular monolith. If I have failed to address the specific concerns of others underneath the queer umbrella, this is why. I hope the reader will understand and forgive my limitations.

This book seeks to offer a vision of what I call the Queer Craft. This is a practical Witchcraft that not only embraces queer people but celebrates and centers us in its philosophies and practices. While in many traditions and covens across the world queer people are little more than an afterthought (if not outright denied equal footing with their heterosexual peers), in the Queer Craft we take our rightful place at the center of our own universe, honoring and even celebrating those unique qualities that set us apart from the mainstream.

One of the areas of our queer lives that if often neglected when it comes to religious and spiritual practices is that of sex. It is for this reason that my vision of the Queer Craft centers our sexuality, giving us an opportunity to celebrate sex in a magical way, just as our heterosexual peers have often done.

An unconscious bias exists when heterosexual sex is seen as beautiful and holy and homosexual sex is seen as dirty or “perverse.” Even some who would otherwise welcome us into their circles still entertain such obviously flawed assertions, a wholly unexamined bias that tells them that an opposite gendered pair is the “baseline” against which all other relationship forms are measured and judged. For some queerfolk, this has led to an unhealthy split in which the sexual is sacrificed at the altar of a spiritualty that is wholly transcendent, and thus devoid of the body’s pleasures altogether, reducing sexuality to being merely a procreative exercise.

We cannot fall into the trap of separating our sexuality from spirituality. Witchcraft in particular is decidedly carnal in nature, and the power that it offers is just as legitimate for us as for anyone else. We simply need the courage to claim it, and to see the spiritual beauty in it as well as the primal desirous power.

Though this book is steeped in sex magic, it is not required for much of the praxis described herein to be useful. Feel free to omit or augment whatever you choose, using the rites and rituals given here as suggestions. For a Queer Craft to be healthy and effective, it must also be personal. Ultimately, there is no greater authority than the Warlock themselves. With that in mind, not everyone will wish to work the Queer Craft in a sexual way. In my nearly forty years practicing Witchcraft I have been a part of groups and participated in rituals that have had sexual elements and those that have not. Neither type is more powerful or important or “more authentic” than the other.

Sex should never be a requirement for participation in Witchcraft. Some of the exercises and rituals in this book describe sex between even multiple partners. If this is already a part of your healthy sexual activity, then this can be a way to include that into your spiritual and magical life. If you are monogamous or celibate, then you will wish to skip those exercises in favor of your chosen boundaries. It is my hope that even asexual people will be able to find something

useful in this work. There can be no one right way to participate in the Queer Craft, other than in a way that affirms your own unique spirit.

Some of the language that I use to describe a portion of the magical and metaphysical techniques offered in this book stem from my work in the Anderson Faery tradition of Witchcraft, also called Feri. Though I have found the language and concepts from that tradition to be among the clearest, one does not need to practice within that tradition in order to work with the exercises and concepts given here. Again, feel free to translate the ideas and language into that with which you feel most comfortable.

It is my hope that the ideas presented in this book give some inspiration to queer practitioners of Witchcraft to practice a Craft that centers our own lives and experiences into our magical praxis. Here we will cover a queer-centered magical philosophy, our history, rites of passage, and even spells that potentially speak to queer souls and queer lives. We will be encouraged to engage this material so that we can integrate and embody it, making it truly our own. We need not be mere guests in spiritual systems that tolerate us at best. We can throw our own party and discover what it means to live fully in our unique queer and magical spirits. We don’t need to live our lives bound to a wheel of someone else’s cycles. We have our own mysteries, just waiting for us to discover them.

PART ONE PHILOSOPHY

CHAPTER 1

The Queer Craft

“All models are wrong, but some are useful” –Attributed to British statistician George E

As Witches, Warlocks, or Wizards of the queer variety, we are just a little different. The same models and themes that speak to others do not speak quite as directly to us. We can make it work, much as we do when watching most movies or TV shows in which the romantic leads are heterosexual; we can do the translation in our heads. We see that two people are in love (or in lust) and we can relate on that basic human level. But we are not “the target audience” for much of what society and culture puts forward, because we—or at least those of us who will admit it—are comparably very few.

Very few overall, but in Witchcraft it seems like the ratio gets turned on its head. You can’t walk into any Pagan or Witch festival and swing a black cat by the tail without hitting a handful of LGBTQ+ practitioners, it seems. We come to the Craft often because the religions of our formative years did nothing for us, and that’s if those religions (and the people who follow them) weren’t too busy actively trying to kill us. We left hateful or outdated ideologies behind, and we sought a spirituality that didn’t just tolerate us, but one that actively empowered and even celebrated us. And for the most part, we found what we were looking for.

Or at least it was a step forward.

. P. Box

Settling into our new lives in queer Witchcraft, we eventually start to feel the limitations. There are plenty of myths and stories about the goddess and the god, and a very good number about them together … but what about our myths and our stories? Where are the rituals that affirm our unique place in the universe? Why should “the” Mysteries be only their Mysteries, or at least a shared mystery to which we are only given a supporting role?

Our deep magic is not the same as those of our straight cousins. They quite often view the world through a lens of reproductive fertility—a strong and necessary magic to be certain—but this is only a fraction of what the enchanted living universe offers us. The mysteries of male and female conjoined; that magical moment when sperm meets egg and the spark of life is summoned into being is certainly beautiful and vital to life as we know it. It is powerful magic. But it is not necessarily our magic. Our path is not their path, though the two may overlap and share many facets before veering off into territories more suited to our unique natures. We may have little need to balance the “masculine” and the “feminine” inside ourselves for we know that for many of us this can be a false paradigm.

There is a strong emphasis in many traditions of modern Witchcraft on the idea of sexual polarity as the prime model for magical working; the belief that magical energy is generated most strongly (and perhaps only) by a male and female working partnership. Each are said to compliment the other and it is only through their balanced interaction that the magical current is given life and motion.

This philosophical idea is based on the Hermetic “Principle of Gender” which asserts everything has both a masculine and a feminine aspect and that this gender manifests on all planes. This is most often coupled (or conflated) with the “Principle of Polarity” which states that “Everything is dual; everything has poles; everything has its pair of opposites; like and unlike are the same; opposites are identical in nature, but different in degree; extremes meet; all truths are but halftruths; all paradoxes may be reconciled.”1

1. Three Initiates, The Kybalion: A Study of the Hermetic Philosophy of Ancient Egypt and Greece (Chicago, IL:Yogi Publication Society, 1998), 32.

These two principles in particular form a sort of metaphysical lens through which it is understood that no creation can occur unless this gendered polarity is present, and it is here that we can see the problems beginning to form. To the very literal-minded, this seems to imply that creation can only occur with the pairing of opposite sexes, such as with most forms of terrestrial procreation. But this fails to understand that gender is not the same as sex and that the application of a binary gender to the philosophical concept of polarity is a symbolic gesture and not intended to be a literal interpretation. These can be thought of as “poetic truths,” which are no less correct than a literal truth, but cannot be understood fully in the linear sense. As with a Zen Koan, these must be contemplated, felt, and meditated upon. As rational thinking only takes us so far (especially in the realms of spirit and magic) we cannot expect that such thinking will fully reveal to us the deep mysteries. We must marry the literal with the figurative in order to more fully approach what can be understood as “the truth.”

This literal approach to gender and polarity has been popularized in modern Witchcraft through the teachings of Wicca and has since been passed down in some form to the vast majority of modern traditions being practiced today. This has manifested at times as an insistence that “men stand next to women” in the circle,2 or even that initiations can only be passed “cross-gender.”3 Even in traditions where this polarity is seen to be internalized (i.e., the idea that we each contain an “inner male” and “inner female” which strive for balance regardless of our physical sex or gender) we find that, ultimately, this underlying model is still a heterosexist one and so becomes enshrined as the template for all relationships whether they be romantic, magical, or otherwise. Anything that deviates from this “norm” is suspect at best or flat out condemned at worst. For queer people who end up adopting this model, this can be a dangerous practice, as it not only

2. This was a common practice up through the 1990s and has thankfully been in decline. I attended circles in my youth where gay magical partners were not allowed to stand together in a circle for fear of “breaking the current”; a magically polite way of denying same-sex partners the dignity of being authentically themselves while hiding under a cloak of (misunderstood) metaphysics.

3. This is still a common practice in many forms of Wicca and its numerous offshoots, though it is no longer as pervasive outside of specific traditions, as it once was.

fails to address our own legitimate paths to power but, in some cases, actively undermines them.

My life experience has shown me that, as a gay man, I exist somewhat outside the parameters of “normal” society. Because of this I—along with every other queer person—provide a necessary function for society at large. Like all avenues into power, this is a double-edged sword, a blessing, and also a curse. Because gender roles are imprinted on each of us—often from the very first moments of our lives—and because my natural inclinations were unlike the stereotypical masculine role that was expected of me, I learned early on that I was “different.” Of course, I had no real idea why. I just knew that I didn’t like playing the games that the other boys did, and so I was usually to be found hanging out with the girls. I rejected images and roles of masculinity from an early age, preferring those that were soft, colorful, and nurturing. When I did connect with figures that demonstrated strength and power, it was more likely to be figures like Wonder Woman, who tempered that strength and power with intelligence and compassion, not qualities usually extolled by the societally sanctioned template of masculinity. In general, I gravitated toward images and activities that very likely made my parents and other adults, “concerned.” I rejected sports, preferring to draw instead. I was not interested in violence, or guns, or Superman, or cowboys (though that last one would interest me much later, but for far different reasons). I played house. I collected stuffed animals. I was fascinated by nature. I made art. I loved to sing. These all ensured that I was marked for scorn and ridicule, and I suffered greatly at the hands of the other children (and even some adults), who had been taught by society that those who are different are worthy of condemnation. I was teased. I was bullied. I was even assaulted. My gender was questioned daily until I was eight years old (“Are you a boy or a girl?”). And, like so many of us who find ourselves in similar precarious situations, I stood at a crossroads: I could try to pretend to be something that I was not, or I could obscure myself in an attempt at self-protection. And like many of us queerfolk who are also drawn to magic and the Craft, I chose the latter.

In all honesty, it wasn’t much of a “choice.” I was one of those kids whose gayness could be seen from space; there was no real way for me to cover up how

different I was and so the only available option for me was to “lean into it.” But not yet knowing exactly why I was “different,” I did the only thing that I felt was available to me: I got even weirder. As I became a teen, I experimented with expressing myself in different ways, as most teens do. I wore eyeliner. I openly practiced Witchcraft. I swung between wearing all black and being a shy wallflower, to wearing outrageously colorful clothing and finding a new talent in being a “class clown.” When I was sixteen, I joined a local cast of The Rocky Horror Picture Show where I played the lead, Dr. Frank N. Furter, the gender-bending, corset-wearing mad scientist from another planet with less-than-questionable morals and kickass platform heels. It was a catalyst that further helped pull me out of my shell and instilled within me some much needed confidence.

I moved out of my childhood home and experienced homelessness for a time. I became friends with others who were also interested in Witchcraft, and we formed our own coven, experimenting daily with different techniques of trance and ritual. I began to grow and to figure out who I really was.

After having been wrapped in a “cocoon” of both self-denial and protective obscurity, and coupled with these life-altering experiences, I eventually emerged transformed from my closet as a being of power. My perspective, being proudly different, became my source of strength, instead of the weakness I had assumed it to be. I had learned a simple truth: I was fine just the way I was. I wasn’t a “failed man.” I wasn’t existing somewhere “in between” an arbitrary value of maleness and femaleness any more than anyone else was (a common misunderstanding of the overall queer experience in general, in my opinion), but instead I represented something “other” than what was officially permitted by society. I could at times encompass traits usually described as either masculine or feminine, but also qualities that were beyond the “normal” limits of both. By standing somewhat outside the established societal paradigm, I was I better able to see the limitations of the mainstream perspective. And by being visibly outside the accepted boundaries, I allowed the mainstream itself to better know what it was and where it stood. By simply being what it isn’t, queer people are able to reflect the mainstream back to itself, providing a reference point for it to better understand its own place in the universe, exposing the borders they have arbitrarily erected as well as to help to

expand those boundaries to allow for a greater freedom of expression for all. This power is not found in spite of who we are, but because of who we are. Whether this power manifests as artistic expression, shamanic power, gender fluidity, sexual adventurism, or even simply a bold and expressive sense of the aesthetic, we find certain harmonies of experience with each other. And from these commonalities, we have built a culture. Brick by strange and fabulous brick.

Although I have heard from others on numerous occasions who are unable to reconcile either their own queerness or that of others with the overt sexual fertility at the heart of much of modern Paganism, being gay in the Craft has never been a personal issue for me. I realize that some still believe that Witchcraft can only be performed within the male/female magical current, but that only reflects their own relationship to the Source, limited as it may be. There are many pathways to power, many models of how we each may approach spirit. Heterosexuality can be one; the male/female polarity spins, causing the birth of new life. And on the other end of the spectrum, homosexuality is another; we borderline the ecstatic, bringing art and ideas into being. And still there are others.

It is my assertion that what we often call “orientation” can be thought of as an energetic vibration that manifests in the physical realm as sexual attraction and desire. Every quality that we possess, everything that we are, is the vibration of our soul(s), whether it is our sexuality, artistic talent, intellectual curiosity, or athletic prowess. When we put it all together, I imagine it to be rather like a song, the melody and rhythm being the orchestration of who we are on a soul-level. Part of Witchcraft for me has been getting to know this song intimately and learning how to sing it with both pride and power. There seems to be much confusion about what it means—spiritually—to be gay. When I was growing up and first studying the Craft, I would read theories (postulated by straight practitioners) that asserted some variation of the idea that gay men were simply female spirits in a male body. At least one well-known practitioner at the time asserted that gay men had been women in their previous lives, and this “explained” why some men were sexually attracted to other men;4

4. Raymond Buckland, Buckland’s Complete Book of Witchcraft (St. Paul, MN: Llewellyn Publications, 1986), 17.

it was their feminine spirit that was the source of the attraction, and so, in a way, the idea of a universal heterosexual paradigm was allowed to reign inviolate.

These may have been well-meaning attempts to explain homosexuality as being an inherent state of being as opposed to a “choice” but even here we still see an insidious, oppressive structure at play. Heterosexual witches seemed to never even consider that perhaps we were gay because that’s simply how some people are, and it neither asks for nor requires any “explanation” and certainly not one that attempts to force us into a role for which we are not suited and never even asked for. It seemed quite beyond the predominating heterosexist mindset to allow for the possibility that maybe, just maybe homosexuality, bisexuality, pansexuality, (or even asexuality), etc. are neither more unnatural nor unhealthy than being straight. But worldviews are quite persistent. After being handed down for the last couple thousand years, theirs was so rigid they simply couldn’t see outside of it. That’s all they had.

That’s where we come in.

As a cisgender gay man, it is not entirely accurate to define me just as being “in between” male and female, any more so than any of us may be. I am a man, plain and simple. I was raised with a male identity and that is where I feel comfortable. But what does that really mean? I am certainly a different type of man than that which the over-culture has traditionally been comfortable. Some of my personality traits have traditionally been associated with femininity, but that does not make me “feminine.” Society is obsessed with projecting definitions and boundaries onto its citizens rather than simply allowing people to be their natural authentic selves. This obsession is rooted in fear, for as we have seen the dominating societal definition of masculinity reveals it to be a state that is quite fragile, able to be broken or revoked at a moment’s notice. If a man shows weakness, or softness, or even sometimes kindness, his status as “a man” is called into question. And this, as we are taught from our youths, is the most terrible thing that can be done to us. As boys (and continuing into adulthood), we are taught to live in constant fear of this and the result is that the very worst traits of masculinity get amplified in an attempt to stave off any potential attacks on our perceived manhood. Aggression. Anger. Intolerance. These, we are told, are what

comprises strength, and all too often we buy into it in an effort at self-protection. And how would we know any better, when practically every movie and TV show reinforces the big lie that in order to be a “real man” you must adhere to this impossible standard, that slowly eats away at our collective soul? Men are taught to become cut off from their emotions (trivial things, feminine things) and that “might makes right.” Physical violence is commonplace and replaces all other forms of male touch. It is considered acceptable to physically strike another man out of anger or dominance, but don’t you ever touch one another out of gentleness, kindness, or heaven forbid, affection. That will get you labeled “queer” faster than anything.

One of the positive aspects of the modern Pagan movement has been the rise of the divine feminine as a counter to the toxic masculinity that has reigned supreme in the age of monotheism. With it has come a look at other cultural models that have likewise given a more balanced view of divinity. But even looking at those models today, we still find a predominance of the heterosexist ideals that leave men-who-love-men standing outside looking in. The yin/yang model doesn’t accurately describe the universe in its entirety, just as the god/goddess model fails to do the same. These are maps and metaphors that we have set into place in an attempt to have a relationship to the cosmos at large, but we should understand that these models themselves cannot completely define the universe. No model ever could. Or, to quote the late Alfred Korzybski: “The map is not the territory.”5

This isn’t meant to imply that the gods are merely psychological constructs or feel-good stories. The gods are real, though how we each define that reality is certainly up for debate. Some believe that they are independent spirits that are wholly separate from each other, while others believe that each are aspects of a larger divine source or even archetypes of the human mind. My own beliefs on the subject tend to incorporate aspects of all of these views, but no matter how we might choose to define them, we should understand that they are not

5. Korzybski, Alfred., Meyers, Russell. Science and Sanity; An Introduction to Non-Aristotelian Systems and General Semantics (United States: International Non-Aristotelian Library Publishing Company, 1958) location 193, Kindle.

bound by physical limitations, and being non-human, they are much more “fluid” in their existence. Gods can appear as female and goddesses as male, just as they might appear as a deer, or a stone, or a thunderstorm. Ultimately, they are a Mystery, and as such we might release our human tendency toward hubris and accept that maybe we can’t know the finer points of their deepest natures. Maybe we need to become more comfortable in letting the mystery be just that: a mystery.

As an alternative to viewing polarity in heterosexist terms, we should feel empowered to adopt additional models as pathways into magical perspectives at large. This not only enables queer practitioners with an energetic map that could potentially speak directly to our own experience, but also provides everyone, regardless of gender identity, with a deepened understanding of magic, polarity, the universe, and ourselves.

There are numerous symbols that we can draw upon to this end. For example, the turning of the seasons could be mythically expressed in the concept of the Oak King and the Holly King, representing the light and dark halves of the year respectively, together embodying the seasonal cycle of eternity. In this example, polarity is seen in same-gendered terms, but still retaining the essential quality of being complimentary forces. They are the Divine Twins, each identical and yet also unique.

The Oak King and the Holly King feature prominently in Wiccan lore in which they are said to be vying for the affections of the Goddess. She, who as Mother Earth, reigns supreme year-round and is the Great Queen, to which the Kings will each pledge service for half of the year. The Oak King reigns from midwinter to midsummer, while the Holly King from midsummer to midwinter. Each of them meets at the solstices to engage in battle, with the victor slaying the loser, who then retreats into the underworld while the victorious King marries the Goddess to act as her consort. This mythic cycle expresses the fertility of the land and can be seen played out in European and Arthurian folklore in various forms.

While this is a beautiful and potent mythic expression, when left in its traditional form it speaks very little to those whose lives and magic exist outside the fertility current. As queer men we have learned to translate powerful stories to

make them more personal; every fairy tale and nearly every love story that we have ever seen or heard generally involves a man and a woman. But even though we are not represented overtly, we can look beyond the specific gender of the individuals and gaze deeply into the universality of the human heart. We too know love. And so, we translate those stories for ourselves, allowing us to take part in them in ways that were never intended by those who told them. Our myths need be no different.

In this version, the Oak King and the Holly King are not set against one another in combat, hoping to win the sexual favor of their Queen. In the Queer Craft they are lovers, embracing at each solstice and changing their stations. Each will “reign” for half of the year and will pass the wand to the other, not out of defeat, but out of loving sacrifice.

What follows are two short trances designed to experience each of them a little more deeply.You may wish to record them and play them back to guide you.

Begin each trance given in this book by first using whatever grounding and centering exercises with which you are most comfortable. Remember that you need not be an expert visualizer. While this is an important skill to develop, it is always more important to feel a thing than to see it. Use your imagination however it works best for you.

EXERCISE ONE Meeting the Oak King

Breathe deeply and relax. Ground and center.

Imagine that you are standing in a beautiful meadow. It is midmorning, late springtime/early summer. The sun is shining the birds are singing the grass is green and there is a gentle breeze. There are flowers in bloom, and you feel the presence of new life all around you. Use all of your senses to make this place feel more real and robust. Imagine you can smell the wildflowers on the breeze … feel the wind against your skin … the sunshine on your face.

Turn to face the sun and imagine its vast, expansive presence before you. Imagine that with every breath you can take this light and vitality inside of yourself … filling yourself up with this warm, golden luminescence.

The golden sunlight before you begins to blur into a haze, and from this luminous fog emerges a young man, his aura shimmering gold. Upon his head he wears a crown of green oak leaves, and around his neck he wears a circlet of spring and summer flowers. He appears to be in his physical prime; virile, vital, and potent. He possesses physical characteristics that you associate with strength and vigor, and yet he is also soft, playful, with eyes full of life and wonder. Imagine his build. The color and length of his hair. What clothing (if any) is he wearing? What does his skin look like to you? Imagine that you can catch his scent, that of flowers with a hint of musk. Inhale deeply, imagining that you are drawing his essence ever deeper inside of yourself. Imagine him stepping closer to you. Notice how you feel. Check in with your body. Where and how do you feel his presence? Notice your emotions. Breathing slowly and deeply, imagine him stepping right in front of you so that you are face-to-face, him looking deeply into your eyes. How does this make you feel? Are you aroused? Uncomfortable? Frightened? Excited? Angry? Take notice of whatever sensations may arise.

Now, ask him to teach you something about his power about your power. In a sense he is a part of you; you carry his essence within. Just take a few minutes breathing in silence and allow the vision to play out as it will. You may find yourself just standing there. Or he may tell or show you something. He may even guide you to another place. Just allow it to play out. After a few minutes, imagine taking a step back and bow slightly in reverence to him. With open mind, open heart, and open sex, send to him a sense of love and gratitude. He may return to the golden fog or he may stick around. Either way, return to normal awareness and write down any experiences in your magical journal.

EXERCISE TWO Meeting the Holly King

Breathe deeply. Relax. Ground and center.

Imagine it is wintertime and you are standing in the center of a clearing in the forest. Imagine the colors of the environment are muted grays, the sky is gray

and there is a slight fog in the air. There is a sharp chill in the air and the wind is blowing. Depending on the land where you live there might be snow here, or things might be wet from recent rains. There are some evergreen trees, but others are barren and outwardly lifeless. The only sound is the sound of the wind. You feel the absence of things … no movement. No life. Just the dull, gray void in this barren clearing.

Turn to face the sun, which is muted and diffused through the thick gray clouds. Imagine that with every breath you can take this subdued energy inside of yourself. Imagine filling yourself up with the soft, silver-gray, fog.

As you continue to breathe, from the fog before you emerges a man. He is dressed in dark, heavy layers and robes and atop his head he wears a crown of holly; dark, waxy green leaves and bright red berries. He is middle-aged or even older but notice how he appears to you. He seems strong, if perhaps somewhat past his “physical prime” and emanates a sense of wisdom and calm.

Notice how you feel in his presence. Take in every detail. Check in with your body.

Breathing slowly and deeply, imagine him stepping right in front of you so that you are face-to-face, him looking deeply into your eyes. Notice their color. How do you feel? Be present with him.

Now, ask him to teach you something about his power about your power. In a sense he is a part of you; you carry his essence within. Just take a few minutes breathing in silence and allow the vision to play out as it will.

After a few minutes, imagine taking a step back and bow slightly in reverence to him. With open mind, open heart, and open sex, send to him a sense of love and gratitude. He may return to the silver fog or he may stick around. Either way, return to normal awareness and write down any experiences in your magical journal.

We will return to the Oak and Holly Kings later, but for now I want you to consider them not only as gods or external spirits, but as representations of your

own inner being. They are an inner polarity that does not depend on “opposite sex” stereotypes. They represent two distinct parts of your own soul.

In many Witchcraft traditions, the human soul is described in not one, but in three parts. I have written extensively about this system in my previous books,6 but for now just consider that we each have three aspects to our soul: human, animal, and divine. (This is an oversimplification, but it will serve our purposes here.) The personal language that I will use for this model comes to me from the Faery Witchcraft tradition, but the model can be adopted by anyone, regardless of their preferred spiritual tradition or praxis.7

The human and animal souls (often called talker and fetch respectively in the Faery tradition) are often in conflict with one another and are overseen by the divine soul (holy daemon or “god soul”). The talker is that with which we normally identify (i.e., the ego) while the fetch is often thought of as our subconscious or primal self. (Again, an oversimplification but we don’t need to be here all day.) Fetch speaks in feelings, symbols, and dreams, and is the “gatekeeper” to the holy daemon, which is the source of our higher power that has access to the spirits, gods, and to deeper magic. If we wish to work that deep magic, our consciousness must petition our unconscious, which is why both talker and fetch need to be brought into agreement, i.e., “aligned.”

This is hardly unique to this particular tradition. Many spiritual paths have similar models and beliefs and sometimes this esoteric wisdom is hidden in plain sight. Consider the Cauldrons of Poesy, from the Irish wisdom tradition, or the three selves of Huna, or the dantiens of Chinese medicine. Each of these illustrate the human being existing in multiple parts or levels.

Consider also the Lovers card in the Rider-Waite-Smith tarot. The image depicts a (presumably) heterosexual couple, overseen by an (androgynous) angel above them in the heavens. The man (representing the conscious mind) is looking at the woman (who represents the subconscious). She, however, is looking up

6. For a more complete explanation of the Three Souls and how to work with them, see my book, Betwixt & Between: Exploring the Faery Tradition of Witchcraft, 2017. Llewellyn Worldwide.

7. I am here referring to a specific path of American traditional Witchcraft, sometimes called the “Anderson Faery tradition.” This stems from the teachings and initiatory lineage of the late Victor & Cora Anderson and is also often referred to as “Feri.”

at the angel (the divine source). This illustrates the lines of spiritual communication given in the Three Souls model: talker to fetch to daemon. It’s a spiritual and magical formulae that seeks to teach us the proper way to petition our “higher selves” and by extension, other spirits, entities, and gods.

In our queering of Witchcraft practice, we might consider the images of our beloved Oak King and the Holly King to mythologically represent the fetch and talker respectively. The Oak King being the younger, more “primal,” aligned to vitality and strength and the body, while the Holly King is the older, more “civilized” presence who speaks from authority and with the wisdom of experience. And both of them are often in some level of conflict and must be brought into harmony in order to better communicate with the divine presence above.

The Oak and Holly Kings can then be seen as two sides of the same coin; our own inner natures in constant relation to each other, sometimes in conflict, but also just our own internal complimentary forces, sometimes referred to as being our “inner female” and “inner male” aspects. In a queer male system, we are given

permission to abandon the overtly heterosexual imagery (if we so desire) and thus we can more intimately identify with images and symbols that speak more directly to our own lives and experiences.

EXERCISE THREE Aligning the Queer Souls

Relax and breathe deeply. Ground and center.

Imagine the Holly King in miniature within your head. Feel how he symbolically represents your thoughts and your ability to act from authority. As you breathe in a slow, deep rhythm, just notice your thoughts and let them go with each breath. Do this for at least a minute or until you feel open and relaxed.

Now, imagine the Oak King in miniature in your lower belly, that space about three-fingers width beneath your navel. Feel how he represents your “younger self,” less constrained, more primal, instinctive and impulsive. As you continue your breathing, just notice how you feel. Do this for at least one minute.

Now, imagine that above your head is a shining divine being of indeterminate (or shifting) gender. This is your holy daemon or “god soul,” that source of divine guidance and energy to which we make our magical petitions and through which we may more deeply (and safely) access the presence of other spirits. They shine their spiritual light upon and through you, which in turn empowers the Oak and Holly Kings within.

Continuing your slow, deep breath, imagine now how the Kings each move toward each other, to meet in your heart center, where they embrace and make love, merging in ecstatic union. This embrace encourages the divine being above to likewise descend into your heart, enflaming your aura and empowering you with divine connection. As you imagine this, notice how this feels and maintain this sensation for at least a full minute.

Let us now turn our attentions to some non-gender-specific examples of polarity. One such model is Rhythm and Melody. We could experience them perhaps as bass drum and flute, each representing different types of powers, but coming

together to provide a more complete presence, in this example a musical one. This brings to light the idea that polarities are not pairs of energies in opposition to one another but are instead forces that complement one another in every meaning of the term, each telling their part of the story. Each of them is “complete” on their own, but together they provide a deeper presentation of the overall holism.

With this in mind, we might also see polarities in light and dark, hot and cold, motion and stillness, fire and water, sun and moon, form and formlessness, holding and releasing, feeling and knowing, etc. As our understanding of energy increases, so does our ability to experience it. And as our experience of it grows, so does our ability to harness and direct it.

EXERCISE FOUR Polarity Beyond Gender

For this exercise you will need a journal and a pen. Ground and center. Open your journal so that you have two blank pages facing each other. On the left page, write down any quality that comes to mind, such as light. On the right page, write out its opposite or its compliment, in this case dark. Continue to do this for at least five full minutes, listing complimentary qualities on each page. Consider that complimentary doesn’t have to mean opposing. (Rhythm does not oppose melody, for example.) It’s ok to list those already mentioned here. The point is not to “come up with something new and cool” but instead to allow yourself the space to really contemplate how we might interact with them every day and also how these forces are part of a larger unity. How boring would your favorite songs be if they had only one of the aforementioned choices? After at least five minutes, put your pen down and reflect on what you have written. How do you embody some of these qualities?

But why should we limit ourselves to just two forces? Our understanding of physics has demonstrated four fundamental forces at play in the universe: strong force, gravity, electromagnetism, and weak force. Science has classified these last

two as actually being part of the same force. In fact, it is the unification of all of these forces into a singular unified field theory which is the Holy Grail of modern physics. In the realm of the mythic, this is the quest for “the Star Goddess”; the primary source of creation, that from which all things are born. At first glance, the magical model of polarity most closely resembles that of electromagnetism; most notably in its observation that negatively and positively charged forces interact to form a current. But it is possible to look beyond the dualistic power, real and strong though it undoubtedly is, and see its place amongst others of equal importance. Many valuable insights can be derived from examining the interactions between not only two, but several forces at once. The power of the three souls in harmony, or the interplay between the four (and five) elements are but two examples that we as Witches should be familiar with. By experimenting with different models, we can begin to delve into the unknown and bring back knowledge and power from the abyss.

Again, turning to the Faery tradition, we find a meditational device known as the Iron Pentacle which is a central teaching of our particular Craft. The five points of the star represent concepts to which we often find ourselves engaged in an imbalanced relationship. These points are sex, pride, self, power, and passion, and the dynamic interplay between these concepts is just as important as the individual points themselves.

In that tradition it has been taught that sex in this particular model represents the attraction of forces that exist in a polarity, such as the attraction that keeps the protons and electrons in balance in an atom. But what if instead of the forces being of opposing poles, we approached it instead as forces in a harmony; what we often poetically call resonance? Two like or very similar energetic frequencies coming together, feeding each other, strengthening each other, becoming greater than the sum of their individual parts.

In a queer relationship, we can see this as two (or more) souls of like gender/ vibration singing together creating a harmony. We might imagine a duet and the special quality of singing voices merging together. In psychological terms, this is the concept of identification; we see ourselves in our partner, or perhaps those qualities in ourselves that we wish to accentuate. This can be a powerful tool in

terms of a magical practice when applied to the relationships we share with the world, not just our romantic ones. We can see each other, as well as ourselves, in a lover, a star, or a dream. We identify with the world in a very real sense, and by doing so real power is generated. We become more fluid, no longer fixed to our limited illusory personality. When we identify with the world, we become the world.

With this in mind, we might imagine that the energy of the sex point of our aforementioned Pentacle represents the underlying energy of existence, calling to itself through our own awareness, and ultimately merging with us in ecstatic union. Here these now unified forces are reminiscent in my mind of the Hindu Nataraja, Shiva as the divine dancer of creation and destruction, a symbolic reference that we might apply to subatomic dynamism; the “dance” of sub-atomic particles, constantly creating and destroying each other as they interact.8

Returning briefly to our musical analogy, rhythm and melody can also be joined by the musical qualities of harmony, timbre, dynamics, texture, and form, each possessing a unique trait, combining to produce an experience that is more than just the sum of the individual parts. With these additional forces at play, we have effectively moved beyond the confines of “push and pull” of a polarity, and into a larger synergistic dynamism. This is not a simple “on/off” switch we might use to turn on our stereos, important as those are. This is a divine orchestra, playing symphonies of magic and consciousness, mapping out elaborate journeys of emotion, knowledge, and experience.

In my personal experience, working with this model the difference is at once both subtle and distinct, allowing for a more deeply personal relationship with the energy and one that validates and reinforces my own needs and drives as a gay man. By exploring outside of polarity and all the baggage it brings, it allows us to “try on for size” models and paradigms that may better speak to our deeper natures. Or at least offer us some level of additional insight into our own inner workings.

8. Harish Pullanoor, “How the Indian Icon Nataraja Danced His Way from Ancient History to Modern Physics,” Quartz, accessed April 17, 2021, https://qz.com/ india/1759244/a-brief-history-of-nataraja-the-dancing-hindu-god-shiva/.

Another concept to consider might be in the contemplation of ecstasy, to literally “stand outside ourselves.” Though not exclusively, this concept may be very appropriately approached through our sexuality. When consciously directed, energy generated through sexual activity can be a formidable tool in the deepening of perception and the gathering of power. Inspiration can be drawn from the sensations of our bodies, allowing us to express freely whatever arises in our hearts, be it singing, dancing, trancing, or loving. By breaking free from the death grip of the ego, we are finally able to see beyond our normally limited awareness and can begin to touch on those powers which are of primal importance to the health and happiness of our soul(s).

To some, the adoption of alternate models might seem like a triviality, especially those that do not intend to exclusively replace the original. Why a new one if the old still works? It is certainly not necessary for anyone to abandon or replace any model with which they feel a useful affinity. But I believe that we all can benefit from the interplay of diverse views. It is in the subtle differences of our own unique experiences that make these models personal and powerful when put into practice. As long as we understand that beyond the description lies reality, then we have begun to pierce the veil and perceive the truth, whatever that may be for each of us.

But this truth is not just contained in the rational mind. We must look deeper. And to do so, we must delve into the realm of the symbolic.

“Finally, a grimoire that empowers, challenges, and inspires queer men to stand in the magical potentiality of our queerness.”—Kristoffer

Hughes, author of Cerridwen and Welsh television drag queen Maggi Noggi

SPELLS, RITUALS, AND EXERCISES THAT CELEBRATE QUEER SEXUALITY AND IDENTITY

Satisfy the passion in your soul with a queer-centered exploration of magical philosophy, history, rites of passage, and sex magic. This practical guide empowers everyone who identifies as male to take his rightful place at the center of his own universe, honoring the unique qualities that set him apart from the mainstream. Emphasizing the importance of sexuality in Witchcraft, this book features a variety of methods for celebrating sex in a magical way.

Sharing an abundance of spells and rituals, Storm Faerywolf helps you improve everything from communication and confidence to romance and sexual protection. This book also provides exercises related to initiation, gender polarity, sex with spirits, celebrating pride, and more. The Satyr’s Kiss shows you what it means to live fully in your unique, queer, and magical spirit

“Faerywolf has blazed a new trail for exploring the Craft that speaks directly to the queer male experience in a refreshingly inclusive way.”

STORM FAERYWOLF is an author, teacher, poet, and professional warlock. He is a regular contributor to ModernWitch.com and is a founding teacher of Black Rose, an online school of modern folkloric witchcraft. He has written several books, including Betwixt & Between and Forbidden Mysteries of Faery Witchcraft. Visit him at Faerywolf.com.

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