THE ESSENCE ISSUE 02 - JUNE 2021
THE SWAP art to literature. period.
Our essence team has spent a while coming up with our new theme for this issue. Since it is almost summer, we wanted to make it a game: "The Swap." "The Swap" is where some artists of LuHi will do what they do best: Art! We then gave photographs of their artworkwork to some LuHi writers. Then they wrote anything they wanted relating to the picture. We hope you enjoy this last Essence publication for this year. Have a great summer!
- Essence Team
WELCOME 02
THE ESSENCE
CONTENTS 01
“Untitled,” by Orenda Zhan Ching - 05 “The Variation of a Teenage Revelation,” by Shayla Roeback - 06
02
“Untitled,” by Avamarie Padgur - 08 “Jesse,” by Daniel Mallory - 09
03
“Untitled,” by Maria Nazarova - 20 “Beauty Boy,” by Devin Moore - 21
04
“Untitled,” by Avamarie Padgur - 22 “Tomorrow,” by Jessica Liu - 23
05
“Untitled,” by Orenda Zhan Ching - 24 "Power to Pain," by Robyn - 25
06
“Untitled,” by Tyler Etienne - 26 "Growth" by Olivia Mirador - 27
07
“Untitled,” by Nia Samuel - 32 “The Process of Metamorphosing,” by Gabrielle Pierre Louis - 33 “Wings,” by Robyn Lindsay - 35
03
"UNTITLED" ART BY: ORENDA ZHAN CHING
"Pair One" 04
"The Variation of a Teenage Revelation" Shayla Roeback We all face a time in a bad situation
Took everything I had life of
Such a stressful time full of frustration
dehydration
Can't lose focus don't give into
Cried so many nights eyes full of
temptation
devastation
Keep your eyes on the prize, show that
Picked myself up made own
concentration
foundation
Gotta move on to a different location
Picked out the fakers usin process of
Movin place to place process of
elimination
migration
Had to wisen up got a higher
Damn failed again more trial &
education
tribulation
Began to connect the dots cause I
Tried to numb the pain with a mouth
found the correlation
fixation
Come back a different person called it
Gossip left and right full of humiliation
reincarnation
Don't get physical no need for an
Looked up to my God, head game on
altercation
elevation
Cut off everything social life
Made my peace, found my own
amputation
salvation
Going down the wrong path life of
Trusted in God he brought me to my
damnation
destination
Devil smilin in my face usin his flirtation
Now listen to my story this is my book
He wanna take my soul this ain't no
revelations
negotiation
"Pair One" 05
"UNTITLED"
ART BY: AVAMARIE PADGUR
"Pair Two" 06
"JESSE"
WRITING BY: DANIEL MALLORY INSPIRED BY SANTAN DAVE'S SONG: "LESLEY"
A lazy Tuesday; sun is shining but it's still cold, no rain or clouds to be seen Tracksuit just like writing with that expo marker in class, it was black on white On my way to the stop I noticed a weird sight, a boy sped walked right past me, he looked confused and astray His name was Jesse, but his looks didn’t fit the name, since this turned to a daily thing one day we started speaking We were the same age, so school was all we really spoke about, all was cool Until I asked if he’d hang out with his pals on the weekend, and he gave a nervous smile
"Pair Two" 07
A real popular cat is what he used to be but always in trouble In and out of the office, calls home for truancy When his dad up and left all this behavior got worse; stealing from the corner shop and out his mom’s purse But Jess was observant, seeing his mom work long hours, stressing, and crying Made him tighten up and leave his antics behind him When he fell from what he thought was grace people treated him different He finally noticed he was walking through rats and snakes His pal Toby was more personal, stuck around, he could see what Jess was going through Toby went to his house everyday after school It was good for him because with Toby he felt safe being vulnerable He didn’t speak about his feelings with his mom to keep from adding to the stress she was already going through He told Toby: “I don’t understand, it seems like people look through me Did I do something wrong? They’re looking over me, I should do something to get respect back; I need a point worth proving
"Pair Two" 08
When I saw Jesse he spoke of what his plan was; A big stir to fuss up a big buzz A girl in his school named Hera he was after; apparently she gave him a compliment and it made his day She didn’t even know his name But everytime she walk past he’d get butterflies in his stomach Had him playing love songs; his chrome headphones were bumping “In my feelings” into his dome Jess saying, “I’ve felt like an outcast for a while now, but that's about to change I’m telling you everyone knows this girl, she makes my day, she’s my world I’m tired of biding my time, Dan I’ve got to make her mine I said: “I think you need to reevaluate If the only thing you look forward to is someone else you need to get back on your feet It’s you senior year your time in school is basically over Why do you need someone new to meet?
"Pair Two" 09
I’m sorry if I come across as negative, but i’m worried about how fragile you seem How do you expect to love someone if you don’t really love yourself? It’ll go wrong in a snap you're living in a dream” I can tell he wasn’t on the right track, see he has thoughts but he doesn’t think.
Next day Jess and Toby layed out their plan step-by-step They would put her in place and then Jess would intercept It was fool-proof and went well, turns out some sweet talk can go a long way And of course he was quick to rub it in my face It’s like he completely lost his humbleness and his kind ways. He turned into a nuisance, he told me “you should do what I did”
"Pair Two" 10
This blessing turned into a curse quick Although he got attention he desired Hera had him locked up like a dog behind barbed wire He got his high-fives from his old boys but any form of attention from a girl would be shut down Hera was rotten to the core, even with female friends She had a heart of jealousy and overall was fiendish She’d tell these poor girls that they were ugly, conniving, and made her feel sick
At 19 years she was a user and abuser, I don’t know I felt any sympathy for her but Maybe that's not her nature but she was exposed to that Maybe that's how she dealt with her pain I only know of her as a scheming witch but there’s part of me that makes me try to understand In Jesse’s eyes she could do no wrong She enabled his want for acknowledgement and he let her push everyone away She would rear her ugly head behind his back everyday
"Pair Two" 11
Hera broke a young girl's heart, she was only 15 but she said Jesse’s shoes looked nice For the first time Jess actually felt remorseful, he wanted to make up for it no matter the price He bought a fruit basket and delivered it to her door
He hoped and prayed that Hera wouldn’t find out.
It was Friday, the snow had melted but a breeze made it just cold enough to need a coat 6:50 AM and it was raining; I wasn't at the stop that day the bus came earlier than expected At school that day Jess felt off, when he put out a confident smile he got ignored or pointing and laughing in response. On his way home he felt exposed Glaring eyes peered through him
He picked up his pace
"Pair Two" 12
You could see the happy mask he wore fall off his face. He was so worried he forgot that Toby wasn’t with him, he didn’t see him in school that day He didn’t see Hera either He was thinking and to bide time double laced his sneakers
He started running His white Air Force 1’s were thumping, turning puddles to tsunamis. He reached his house, his mom didn’t come back till late so he was alone
He looked at his doorstep, the heavy rain washed away the blood his nails had drawn from his palms when he clenched his fist A fruit basket at his doorstep with a ribbon hanging off, it had a tag attached to it
To: Jesse From: Hera
"Pair Two" 13
He looked inside: It said: “Dear Jesse. Think of this like you, your time has expired I thought it’d be funny I saw it as a dare I gave you a chance but you messed that up Now your time is up and i’m throwing you out You were like a parasite leeching onto me, taking but never giving I’ve moved on to better things I bet one day your best friend is gonna give me a wedding ring
The picture was of Hera and Toby, he had his arm around her shoulder
He disposed of the evidence, his mom could never hear of this For the basket he got a new trash bag, tied it up, sprayed it down, and put it inside another one For the picture he got his mom’s lighter It was light blue with a grey top Before it went aflame a droplet put out the fire, with every flick he did another flame put out
"Pair Two" 14
It wasn’t the rain; It was his tears falling down He crumpled it up, tossed it in the trash and moved on
He turned on his phone, looking for some entertainment to distract from the pain
1 missed message: From Toby “Hey, I hope you don’t take it seriously It’s just Hera you know how she gets We’re hanging out just as friends Don’t worry it won’t be long before you forget”
Jess wanted to say one last thing, he was trying to find it as a joke but it hurt like it was real He typed: “Hey Hera, I hope your not mad I got your “gift” and I want to say i’m sorry, its my fault I get that you don’t want me back I’m glad you’re with someone who makes you happy But tell me, please, were any of the times we shared genuine”
"Pair Two" 15
He got blocked
I saw him at the same stop. He was saying bye. He tried to hide it but you could see the sadness in his eyes. He told me what had happened and I was stunned at first, but then it settled in.
I let him know: “Things got better, keep your circle close this is only temporary You don’t have anything to prove to anyone don’t get so held up You’d think someone who cared so much about what others thought would have their shoes on the right feet”
He looked down and noticed. He smiled
We laughed
That was the last time I saw him.
"Pair Two" 16
I’ve been putting pen to paper for a while now So i’ll end it like this
This is more than a story about a misguided boy its a message to anyone who feels incomplete Cherish the time you have alone and build yourself up It's not normal or healthy to be emotionally dependent on the actions of someone else Stand back up, dust yourself off obstacles that are set in your path to make you stronger.
At the bus stop, in class, in those pics with happy smiles and matching get-ups How many Jesse’s are chained to their Hera’s?
"Pair Two'' 17
"UNTITLED"
BY: MARIA NAZAROVA
"Pair Three" 18
Hey Beauty Boy, With your skin glowing The melanin made to look like chocolate
But you somehow have become blind to the bad
in the sunlight
Oblivious to all of the pain
The smile built to bring others up
You ignore the hurt that most can’t even
Continually brightening other's days But your appearance hides so much pain
think about looking past You don't see the full picture, you don't know the full story
The eyes that have seen so much but will focus on the beauty in others
You don't even see the people in power giving out such horrible and incorrect information
The memories you have with people, did
The teachers making their own rules you
you know that you don't see the full thing?
have to follow, no matter how inconsistent
You don't see the demons, the fear, the mistakes, the stutters, the anxiety, the
they are The kids at school saying such disgusting
rage
things about you
Yet you are still amazing
The memories you have with people are
Your beauty shines bright off of you boy
full of beauty The funny jokes, the happiness, the love, the randomness, the deep conversations It’s amazing that you can even focus on the positive, the beauty in the world
That's why you don't get angry when people in power making such egregious claims That's why teachers are enraged by you accepting and following their conflicting rules, thinking they would get a rise out of you
Because its almost as if no one can Other than you
That's why kids get jealous of you and create such gruesome lies about you
I'm glad that you are able to be the bright light in my life The bright light in all of our lives, whether we all know it or not But keep shining with that bright, beautiful light Beauty Boy
BEAUTY BOY
BY: DEVIN MOORE
"Pair Three" 19
"UNTILTED" ARTWORK BY: AVAMARIE PADGUR
"Pair Four" 20
"TOMMOROW" WRITING BY: JESSICA LIU
Raise my eye to the sky, With playing gulls all around Waves dancing to say bye. I just standing on the ground. A guardrail stop people from side, But the earth is round. When I lying to see the celestial tide, Will there be something found? Kiss the sun, One day, the wind can be sound.
"Pair Four" 21
"UNTITLED"
ARTWORK BY: ORENDA ZHAN CHING
"Pair Five" 22
PAIN TO POWER I took my strife and turned it into life I took my anxiety and turned it into art There’s no use harboring all of this negative energy within me anymore I spent all my years with in a dry spell because I felt like no one needed a window into my hurt, and that if I kept all of this in a box, it wouldn’t seep out and spread the pain, discomfort, sadness, guilt, and grief to others I shut myself in out of the supposed greater good, to protect others, But the box ended up being too small for me and my mess, Overflowing to the point where I felt I would drown, but the box had a hole in it, and out that hole seeped the sadness, all the tears that I forced myself not to cry because a brave face is better then any vulnerability, and through that mistake, that flaw in my own design, growth.
"Pair Five" 23
"UNTITLED" ARTWORK BY: TYLER ETIENNE
"Pair Six" 24
"Growth" Writing by: Olivia Mirador Br-ring! Br-ring! The school bell for first period rang. Avery sprinted down the hallway. By the third bell, he was hastily seated in class. While the teacher talked about the day's topic, Avery pulled out his phone and thumbed his media. Surfing cats, funny dance moves, nothing new. Before we continue any further reader, I would like to note that Avery was a nervous teen. And he was what you could consider normal. Average grades, constant fidgeting, quiet and keeping up with the latest posts so that when someone asked you something, you knew the correct answer. Anyways, on with the story. Shove. It was lunch time, and Avery surveyed the cafeteria and saw all the usual groups. The nerds, the gamers, the “popular”, and the in-between. As Avery was walking to a seat in the back someone came up behind him and gave him a push. Now it was a firm push but not enough to knock someone over. It was surprising enough that someone did. Avery fell on the ground, mac n’ cheese splattered all over the floor. Milk, soaking his shirt and the mushy green beans squished on his pants.
"Pair Six" 25
At first there was silence, it was like time itself stopped. Then time resumed. Giggles, guffaws, bellows, and plain laughter spread across the cafeteria. Still stunned, Avery slowly got up from the ground only to be shoved back down again. Lights and cameras flashed. It was only a matter of seconds until the whole school knew. As Avery tried to get up again, the strangest thing happened. Grass erupted from beneath his feet. Avery, finally on his feet, dashed out of the cafeteria. Tears escaping from his eyes, spilling onto the ground. The grass grew tall, and another plant sprouted weeds and vines covered the lockers. Avery ran, and ran. Until he stumbled upon a closet. He barreled inside and quickly locked the door. Avery sat there crying. He didn’t care if he got detentions galore. He was ruined just like every other kid. It was bound to happen. No one survives middle school without a social conflict. Knock,Knock. “Hey, is there someone in there?” called a man’s voice. “Yeah?” Avery said meekly. “Well get out! I have a job to do and you have school.” Groaning Avery sat up and unlocked the door. He looked at the man and saw his face. Although the man didn’t say anything else. Avery read him like a book. He was laughing at him. He felt it in his bones. Around him trees grew. They were an ugly sight. A forest was growing and Avery didn’t know which way to go. ~ Finally at home, Avery looked back at his phone. The posts were non stop. It will blow over, he thought, everything does.
"Pair Six" 26
But, it didn’t. Do you know why? Well, Avery was friendless and also rich. He always wore the newest shoes and the latest fashion. But, being rich he learned, didn’t make you popular, it made you a target. Avery had a clean record and knew wrong from right. Nobody bothered until today. Now they all had a reason to rant and taunt.
The messages grew and grew. 900,000 likes?! There were only a couple hundred kids in his school! Through the night, bings and bleeps were the sound he slept to. While he was sleeping though, the forest grew and grew. When Avery woke up, he couldn’t even find his door. At school, he couldn’t see the students, only trees. Ugly twisted trees. The trees reached out and tried to grab him. They whispered insults and giggles. Until, he couldn’t take it anymore. It was like he was transferred to a whole other world. The whispers got louder, the trees bent in. Lower and lower. He was trapped. “Stop!” he cried. “Please stop!” Nothing moved. The sounds continued. Avery fell onto the ground and cried. Roots slithered around him. Ensnaring him and trapping him in place. HE didn’t care, after all why would you show your face, if you had something to cover it. The vines and roots covered him, the layers becoming thicker and thicker. So thick that he couldn’t even breathe. “Are you alright?” someone said. They asked again. “Hey, do you need help?” Gradually the vines and roots drew back. “No, I’m not alright.” Avery confessed. “Hey, man. It’s ok. I know what it’s like. Take one step at a time.” Slowly, the forest began to seep back into the ground. Bit by bit, all of the weeds and ugliness disappeared. Until there was only one face standing in front of him. He reaches out a hand. “Hi, my name is Warren.”
"Pair Six" 27
"UNTITLED"
ARTWORK BY: NIA SAMUEL "Trio Seven" 28
"THE PROCESS OF METAMORPHOSING" WRITING BY: GABRIELLE PIERRE LOUIS She wanted to open up So wide that her arms would Envelop her world She wanted to love so much it hurt Wanted to sprout wings like a butterfly And metamorphosize into a queen Fit to wear the crown she bore on her skull But the cocoon’s a little tighter than she would like Closes up each time She doubts She worries about her nonexistent wings Yet to grow
33
"Trio Seven" 29
She worries they’ll never grow in All the other caterpillars have broken free Then why is she the only one still here? They’ll tell you metamorphosis is a process Everyone is capable of growth It’s part of life You owe it to yourself But they never say How hard it is to love yourself Believing is half the battle But celebrating is half the struggle
"Trio Seven" 30
When I was born, you gave me wings. Like, Red Bull, I had that artificial energy Energy that the lethargy only dreams of By giving me that name, you predetermine that I would have success. It seemed natural that it would be easy for me to fly out of the nest. And soar like you envisioned when you first held me, thinking about the one day you’d let me go, not the bad kind of let go, But the let go that princesses sing about, The letting go when you know you did your job, and did it well, and knowing that you gave me the skills to be successful in the real world. Wishful parenting. I didn’t know how to use them yet, But it was comforting to know That they were there there, when I needed them. I was ready for that day.
"WINGS" WRITING BY: ROBYN LINDSAY
"Trio Seven" 31
Over time, I got used to my wings. Let me tell you, it wasn’t easy. Having two appendages constantly at your side and still not knowing how to use them is...well, the opposite of flying. But you gotta have hope, in times like this. That’s what they always said to me, And they fly free , so they must be right. Nothings ever easy, I’ve been working hard. I can taste the liberation in the form of clouds. Clouds that will welcome me with open arms...uh wings! No storm can blow me out of the sky, At least not at this point, I still gotta practice, And you’d always tell me that I was perfect, So let’s keep going. Sis, you’re gonna soar.
"Trio Seven" 32
My wings are sore. I can’t feel anything. Are they even there anymore? Are you there? You’re breaking up... It feels like they’re breaking off, The hard work didn’t pay off, It only made me feel like I’m paying for some sort of Revenge on my own self for just having a positive outlook, I’m positively sure that I’m ready to give up. Don’t give up, you would say, I can’t hear you, it’s only static...
"Trio Seven" 33
ISSUE 02 - JUNE 2021
ECNESSE EHT