Your dilemmas

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Traditional one-pot minestrone reci full of fresh veg & seasonal flavours ALDI’S MINESTRONE ONE POT

INGREDIENTS  1 large onion  ½ butternut squash  2 large carrots  ½ savoy cabbage  2 celery sticks  1 large courgette  2 garlic cloves  80g spinach leaves  400g tin chopped tomatoes

 400g mixed bea drained  2 vegetable stock cubes  50g tomato purée  2 tsp dried oregano  2 tsp Paprika  ½ tsp ground black pepper  Sea salt  50ml olive oil  1 litre boiling water

METHOD: 1. Peel and finely chop the onion, squash and carrots. Wipe and then chop the celery finely. Peel and mince the garlic. 2. In a large pan, sauté the onion, garlic and celery in the olive oil for a few minutes then add the chopped carrots and squash. 3. Add the water and tomatoes, then crumble over the stock cubes. Bring to the boil, stirring as you cook. 4. Add the tomato purée, paprika, oregano and pepper, then season with some salt and cook for 15 minutes. 5. Shred the cabbage and chop the courgette finely, then add to the pan and coo further 8 minutes. Add the bean the pan. 6. Slice the spinach leaves roughly and add to the pan. Cook for another 5 minutes then serve.

Am I the one for him?

Would it be a

good test to take?

My boyfriend has suggested we take a break. He says that he wants to be with me, but t make sure we’re right for each other, should see other people. Should I con Grace, Glasgow

Pick Me Up! reader Ellie from Dorset says: YES In reality, you like him and he’s questioning whether he wants to be with you.

So there really is no point insisting he stay.

I’d suggest you do what he says and when he comes crawling back, realising what a fool he’s been, he’ll really have to win your heart!

And you’ll know for sure that he’s the right person for you. Pick Me Up! reader Kelly from Birmingham says: NO I’d be so offended if my boyfriend said to me that he wants to sleep with other people to ‘check’ that I’m the right one. I think this is a lucky escape for you. He certainly is not the man you want to spend the rest of your life with.

And if you’re considering seeing others, you don’t feel the way about him that you think you do.

dilemmas

nternational Executive Coach of the Year, Confidence & Human Behaviour Expert Jo Emerson answers your questions. Grab her book Flying for Beginners: A Proven System for Lasting Se

A taste of her own medicine?

When my friend is single, we’re inseparable but when she starts dating, I don’t hear from her until she’s single again. Next time she does it, should I just ignore her and show her what it feels like? Carly, Leeds

I think she’s behaved terribly and although I don’t think you should ditch the friendship all together, ignoring her for a while will get the message across. You can’t be a ‘part time’ mate or feel like someone is pressing the pause button while something better comes along. Don’t jump the next time she clicks her fingers and really test her friendship. Pick Me Up! reader Tess from Lincoln says: YES NO

Pick Me Up! reader Hayley from Hull says:

I totally understand why you’re hurt but rather than just doing the same thing back to her, you need to sit down and tell your friend just why it’s so hurtful. She might be so caught up she hasn’t got a clue! Then, when she knows how much is upsets you, and she does it again, you have every right to decide to cut her off until the penny finally drops.

Why should I bother?

JO SAYS:

Two wrongs do not make a right so I m not sure your idea will work. I think you’d be better off telling her how you feel and asking her to consider a more balanced life when she’s in a new relationship.

She might not be able to do this because she sounds like someone who loses her head when she falls for someone. Love can be a drug for many people, and they can’t help but be single minded when they find a new mate.

So, I think you’re better off focussing on what you can change within your friendship circle – work on expanding it so that you aren’t lonely when she’s in a new relationship.

Will we ever bond?

Should I admit I’m scared?

Some mums feel this way even if they’ve given birth, so you really mustn’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve probably raised your expectations too high. Being a mum is hard work! And there’s often little time to really reflect on your emotions. But the important thing is to talk to someone –whether its your partner, friends, family or even support groups. No one will judge you. They’ll just want to help. Pick Me Up! reader Viki, South Wales says: YES NO

Pick Me Up! reader Jennifer from Liverpool says:

I do think you should tell someone, but perhaps give it time.

Have you tried different ways to connect with your new daughter? There are so many activities you could try first and perhaps you should focus on those, rather than the rush of emotion you’re anxiously waiting for.

Right now, you’re trying to force something that will come naturally given time. Of course, if this doesn’t change, you must confide in someone.

IMAGES: GETTY Please please please talk to someone because it sounds like you have a version of post natal depression or PTSD and talking therapy will help you with this. Becoming a parent is utterly overwhelming whether you grew that child in your body or not.

The connection you seek is probably buried under layers of other stuff that you can release in therapy and move past.

There is no shame in how you feel – your honesty is admirable and I promise you these feelings will pass. Good luck. JO SAYS: