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OPEN MIC: Gabbie

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Open mi WITH Gabbie Stroud A L I A N L Y K

It’s where our best, brightest and funniest have their say.

Dear Parents and Caregivers,

Now that we’ve had a few weeks to settle into the school year, I thought I would write to say how much I’m enjoying working with your children, watching them grow and learn and change. There’s a restless kind of beauty to these  rst few days of a school year; haircuts are admired, playground friendships reignite, little ones turtle along with too-big backpacks, new shoes trudge into line and broad-brimmed hats shade bright young faces. Such beauty, such treasures: our children are just so special. Every child is special. I truly believe that. That’s why I became a teacher. I want children to grow up knowing that they matter, that they are important in this world and that they have interesting, challenging, extraordinary lives to live. Every child is special but that doesn’t mean they’re entitled.

I’m a parent myself. I know that deep, protective, adoring love that overcomes us when our child arrives. Every time I looked at my  rstborn daughter, I felt a delicious sense of pleasure; like I’d just had a sip of Kahlua! But we need to remember that just because they’re our wondrous, unique creation doesn’t mean they deserve anything extra or different. Just because they’re special doesn’t mean they need special treatment.

As a teacher, I can see this ‘special’ archetype being cultivated around our kids and I feel it’s causing more harm than good. We’re fostering a sense of entitlement where our children have learnt to ask ‘what’s in it for me?’ before engaging in a task. So many children are lacking resilience because they’ve learnt that someone will rescue them at the mere hint of adversity.

I see it when caregivers write a note for their child, excusing them from a common school activity. My favourite from last year was this: please excuse my son from school yesterday – his sister was home because she was sick, so he didn’t want to go in either. I see it on social media in the contrived and stylised ways some parents celebrate a child’s every milestone. And I see it with my own kids – a simple trip down the street and they come home like decorated war heroes: a balloon from the bank, a piece of fruit at the supermarket, extra marshmallows at the cafe and a rubber wristband from the guy selling raf e tickets.

As a teacher, I’m often asked by parents how I’m accommodating their child as though I’m providing a

ANGI HIGH PHOTOGRAPHY. catering service and can adapt the curriculum to serve the dietary needs of each learner. Again this speaks to a social culture of children being so special they deserve something beyond the ordinary. Tailored learning is an excellent theoretical ideal and teachers do this for their students where and when they can, but teachers don’t teach in a theoretical bubble. Teachers teach in the real world with overcrowded classes, an overcrowded curriculum and a  nite number of hours in the day. And coddling our kids in an atmosphere of ‘special’ doesn’t give them wings. It keeps them tethered to the adults that keep telling them how special they are.

So, how do I cater for your child? How do I honour their specialness?

I get to know them. I talk to them, share jokes with them. I ask about their pets and their weekends. I recommend books to them. I place them in small groups and prepare lessons according to ability. I provide open-ended activities that allow them to show me the scope of their knowledge. I keep an eye on friendships. I listen to them.

I cater for your child by doing the exact same thing that I do for every child. Catering to students’ needs should look like a classroom where everyone feels they belong, everyone has work to do and everyone has the tools they need to get on with the job.

Our children are special. They’re so special that they deserve better than the indulgence we’re giving them. They deserve to believe that they’re special, deep within themselves, not because they received some external reward for simply turning up. They deserve to feel special because they worked hard, faced dif culty, called on their own resourcefulness and actually achieved something.

This year, let’s allow our children space to struggle, to take risks and to face challenges. Let’s stop rescuing them and stop celebrating the mundane. Let’s work in partnership – teacher and parents – to empower our kids to truly become their own special selves. Sincerely, Your Teacher Gabbie Stroud is the bestselling author of Teacher. Her new book, Dear Parents (Allen & Unwin, $32.99), is in bookstores now.

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