Strength inSide

When my mom died two years ago, a part of me died, too. Little did I know then, however, that a whole new part of me would emerge.

Ever since I can remember, I have wanted to be a performer and I would dream as a child that I was at the Grammy Awards. I would never visualize myself actually • getting the award. The part that I imagined instead, was looking out into the audience and seeing my mom and dad looking completely radiant.

My mom will still cheer me on, but just from a different place. A much better place.

I look at most people my age, even most of my friends, and I often have a hard time relating to them. I hear that a girl's biggest decision for the weekend is what clothes she will wear, or that a guy is livid that a girl does not feel the same way about him.

Does this all really matter in the grand scheme of life? Not enough. After you have complained about that exerting five-minute walk, you see a disabled person doing the same thing and you are ashamed. And when a loved one dies, you are embarrassed of every trivial thing in which you have ever analyzed.

But when something really significant happens, you will know it. It is like a jolt of lightening just wades you over the head and you go, "Oh, I get it now. This is what really matters."

I momentarily lost sight of this last year when sudden responsibilities seemed too much to handle and I began to face health issues of my own. But with faith, I have begun to really overcome it.

Now I realize that with each merry-go-round that I have faced over the years, I have gained something unequivocal.

Great strength.

Today when something challenging occurs - trust me I do not mean that big test next week - it is just like another moment in time. I get through it. Even if no one else seems to understand or even cares enough to ask, it does not matter. I understand. I understand that life is too damn short to worry about it.

You do not have to try to be a

by Kelly Ann Monahan staff writer

saint and you can bet that crying more today will make you laugh a little more tomorrow. Cry every day if you need to.

But do not cry over an unsuccessful attempt, like that person you cannot believe snubbed you or that traffic jam that will undoubtedly ruin your schedule to watch General Hospital at precisely 3 p.m.

Pick your head right up and train yourself to laugh until one day you suddenly cannot laugh enough. Most importantly, think of something that will actually matter when you wake up tomorrow.

I know that when many people look at me, they see a person who is laughing a good portion of the time. It really is genuine laughter and I am so glad for that.

But more importantly, I am glad that I am a secure enough person to cry just as easily, even if most people do not know it.

One day I hope I will be laughing all the way to the Grammy's. And I know that I do not have to look anywhere to find my mom. She is with me all the time.