PERSPECTIVES None of your business

You can find it in the newsroom. More often than not, you can hear it in the houses. Cabrini residents have it down to a science. You cannot even talce a pee without someone doing it.

Gossip. It can be hurtful, vengefiil and sometimes it becomes so out of control that a reputation is ruined in the process. Some believe gossiping to be a form of entertainment, like going to the movies or watching a favorite soap opera. Others do it mindlessly without even considering the effect it can have on those who are involved. Whether it is true or false, I do not believe it is very humane to spread rumors about people, even if they are your worst enemy.

Gossip has always affected me personally. Perhaps that is why I feel empathy for any person who has had to deal with rumors. Although I am aware that gossip and gossips are inescapable, I cannot help but to be overwhelmed with disgust every time I hear the phrase, "Did you bear about..?"

There have been several rumors circulating about me since the day I set foot on this campus. I have never been a person who is concerned with what others think or say about me. Actually, it can be quite amusing when people who supposedly have lives of their own, spend their free time talking about someone whose life revolves around the school newspaper.

Recent events have driven me to a point where I feel compelled to fill in a few blanks. I am not writing this because I care about what Cabrini students think. I am writing this because I want people to think about my experience the next time their mouths fly open to trash someone or to spread rumors.

During my sophomore year at Cabrini, I was having a few roommate problems. Animosity built up between us until our problems got so out of hand that there was no turning back. My roommate and I had been friends prior to our living arrangements, and usually when you share a room with a friend, things never go as smoothly as you first anticipate. For no rational reason that I can think of and without even confronting me about it, my roommate suddenly moved out because she suspected I was gay. What started out as one person's insecurity, paranoia and homophobia, has snowballed into one of the largest rumors that has been circulating this campus for almost two years.

If people believed I was gay and they were purposely avoiding me because of it, good. I would not want to be friends with a prejudice person to begin with, nor would I want to be associated with someone who judges people based on the experiences of others.

I decided to roll with the punches for a few semesters. I actually thought the rumors were funny. I wore my Melissa Etheridge cap proudly and I planned out an entire features spread dedicated to the gay students of Cabrini College. Of course, I did not do the spread purely for the enjoyment of playing with people's minds. I believe in gay rights. I believe in equal rights for disabled people, women, children and minorities. I believe in human rights.

A few weekends ago, the gossip crossed a line. I have put up with the rumors, the stares, the whispering and even the prank calls. Now, this has just got to stop. It was your average Saturday night. I could not sleep and, ironically, I decided to plant myself in the living room to brainstorm for my viewpoint. A housemate of mine, who I have exchanged hellos and pleasantries with, walked through the living room to retrieve her wash. We said hello, traded a few words and she returned to her room.

A little while after that, I

by Jeanne Lombardo A&E/ features editor

turned in for the night. Approximately 20 minutes after I climbed into bed, there was a knock on my door. Of course, like any other person at that hour of the night, I ignored it and rolled over. The knock persisted and I began to think it was important. When I opened the door I found my house mate whom I had seen earlier. She said she had to ask me something and suggested that I close the door so that my roommate did not overhear us. First, she made sure that I understood that she did not want to offend me, then she asked, "Are you bisexual, or whatever?" I should have slammed the door in her face. I guess I was just shocked that someone would pry into my personal business because of some rumors. After I told her no, she informed me that the rumor was going around on the second floor. She asked me if I was offended and I said, "No, but why did you want to know?" She did not give me a concrete answer, mumbled something about "It was going around" and I closed the door. It took me a good 48 hours to calm down. I bad not been that angry in a very long time.

She obviously did not talce my feelings into consideration, or even the fact that my sexuality is none of her business.

Why would someone want to needlessly hurt another's feelings? Why would I care to bear that my housemates are gossiping about me?

If we were friends I might not have gotten so angry, but even then I do not think you should tell your friends that people are talking about them. It only malces them feel bad and what they do not know can not hurt them. My message is simple. Mind your own business. Stop needlessly hurting people and instead of gossiping, why not talce up a bobby? There are more constructive things to do with your time.