Your home is whereveryou make it

"Home is where the heart is." All too often, home is not necessarily with family. With the holidays right around the corner, there is a great deal of anxiety to be home, away from Shannon Downs the pressures of classes and reunited with the people who raised us. I am one of many, however, who does not find pleasure in such reunions. It is like this ··anytime of the year, not just now. So what is home? Like beauty, it is in the eye of the beholder. In today's society, family values are the most important guidelines to what makes a person. We are to respect our parents and we are to love them unconditionally. Thanksgivings and Christmases are portrayed constantly with images of families gathered at large tables. They share pleasant conversations and enjoy each other's company. Growing up, I do remember happier reunions and times like this. Unfortunately, a lot has changed over time. It is just a part of living and growing.

Now, I find more pleasure being with the families of my friends. While they have only known me a short amount of time, thoughts of them bring much happier and warmer tidings. It would be easy to say that perhaps I am not being respectful of the people that "knew me when [I] was just a baby." I do not like the fact that thoughts of being with them are not welcoming, and often dreaded. There are things that I will never be able to thank my parents for. And there will always be the

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fact that we are bound by many things. Being with them just is not the healthiest thing for me anymore. It is just a fact that I have come to grips with over my four years here. I am also certain that there are others here on campus that feel the same.

I do not hold any grudges against people that will be with their families for the holidays. It's a wonderful thing when you have that to look forward to. But, I am more than content knowing that I will be with the people who understand and truly care about me. They just don't happen to include the people I grew around. I honestly don't see anything wrong in that. More than anyone, I see these people as my family. So when songs like "I'll Be Home For Christmas" are playing, they are the people that I find myself picturing in my mind. Home is where the people around you know your faults, mistakes and failures. Yet, in knowing all of these, they still take the time to show that they willJ>e there for you because they love you. This is where happiness comes from. We all have the need to feel appreciated and loved. If these elements do not come from the people who knew you since your birth, it is only human to look elsewhere.

What goes around comes around. I return the same respect that I am given. Remember that in being given love and respect, there is no better feeling than knowing that you can return the favor. Loving someone should not feel like an obligation. It should come naturally. This is how I feel for the families of my friends. They have been there for me countless times for me, and I would not think twice to do the same for them. Knowing that they are looking forward to seeing me again soon is all that I need to know. It is especially nice to know that I cannot wait to see them, either. I will stop to say hello to my mother, father and siblings. More than likely, I will have dinner with them on Thanksgiving as well. But, there is a quiet house a few blocks across the park where I will be spending most of the holiday season. In this house, there are two wonderful people. They are the parents of one of my dearest friends that I have known since high school. Even though she is away, this house is the place I am happy to call home.

It is true that blood is thinker than water. However, there is a thin line between mere acceptance and love. If it came down to a choice between the two, I would much rather feel, and return, love.

Shannon Downs is a senior majoring in English/Communications. She is a photojournalist for Loquitur. Ben wanted to write something really mean here, but because the rest of the staff are caring human beings, they severed his hands.

Loquitur is established as a forum for student expression and as a voice in the uninhibited, robust, free and open discussion of issues.

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Don Dempsey

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Cartoonist Joe Holden

Photojournalist Shannon Downs

We'll save you the trouble of trying to figure this cartoon out.

Vultures = Valley Forge guys

Allison Webb ............. Fresh meat = Cabrini women

The joke is that the Valley Forge guys are vultures preying on Cabrini women. Get it?