Top ten TV shows I would like to see made

9. Darva Conger, the "winner" of "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?" returns in a new show based on the aftermath of that show, "Who Wants to Be a Media Whore?"

8. Regis Philbin is revamping the old "Live with Regis and Kathie Lee" show into a new talk show, "Thank God She's Gone!" Regis plans to open the show with a song entitled "If I heard Kathy talk about Cassidy and Cody one more time I would have punched her in the mouth."

7. The Olsen Twins return in a sitcom called "Puberty Makes You Less Cute." Also starring Macaulay Culkin, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, and Vicki from "Small Wonder. People who were turned down for the show were the children from "Mr. Belvedere," "Growing Pains," and "The Hogan Family." Our Paf"fy PlaHe.rs

6. James Van Der Beek stars in the first spinoff from "Dawson's Creek." In this show, Dawson moves to Detroit, has everything he owns stolen, and is forced to be homeless in "Dawson's Refrigerator Box."

S. With the success of CBS's "Touched by an Angel," FOX has decided to cash in on the whole angel phenomenon with their new reality-based show: "What Angels See You Do When You Think No One Is Looking."

4. There's a new chapter in the "Star Trek" universe. Capt. Jean-Luc Picard's mother dies and comes back as the new Enterprise and guess who has to captain the ship? Patrick Stewart stars in "My Mother, The Starship." The show also features Leonard Nimoy as a talking inter-galactic blender.

3. Every Monday night, WWF superstars in- vade Capitol Hill to bring you two hours of legislative hearings that will lay the smack down on congressional gridlock. It's "WWF C-SPAN is WAR!" See senators get chokeslammed through tables for creating bureaucratic red tape.

2. Live on HBO is the concert of a lifetime: "Shatner: Live from Madison Square Garden." See William Shatner talk his way such songs as "Hit Me Baby One More Time," "The Safety Dance," and "Dark Side of the Moon."

1. OJ Simpson stars in a new sitcom entitled "Blood is Thicker than Water." OJ is the head of a family with a wife and three kids who keep thinking that OJ is going to kill them.

---written by Mike "80's" Butler

Letter to the editor

Deareditor, Somebodycame into the bathroomof House 4 and made two huge oles in the wall of thetoiletstall.I don'tlike big holes in my wall. I know thatno one would want to destroytheirown living quarters,only to be ed for the damagelater.Somethinglike thatwould have to be caused by a visitor.

If you have a guest visit you where you live, make sure thatthey respect thatplace. If you are a guestof someone,please respectwhereyou are visiting. I know that you want to have fun. Please have a fun time. Enjoy whatever you do, but try to slay in control of yourself, at least to the • t tltal you doo't makeSOIDl!IOQeelse pay for your mistake.

If somethingwould happepwhereyou live, you'd be pietty upset. especialy if you badto pay for tbe damage. Don't let yourgood time ruin somooaoelse'.f.

-Matt Holmes