Loquitur Dome: The Eternal Debate

Ab, winter. Brisk winds, dropping temperatures, and of course, snow days.

Snow days are truly meant to be savored, and one of the favorite activities to when everything is shut down is to go sled riding, or as you from the Eastern half the state call it, "sledding." But what is there to use when you are miles away from your garage full of plastic sleds and toboggans? A cafeteria tray, of course!

The benefits of using a tray over many other forms of makeshift sleds are numerous. For one, they are readily available and easy to obtain. Everyone eats at the cafeteria, especially at a small school like this. And since it is winter, a large, warm overcoat provides a perfect means for getting your tray out of the cafeteria. And when you're done enjoying the winter wonderland outside, you can always return it at your next meal.

Trays are sturdy, unlike some of those other items often used to go sled riding. They are made from similiar material as the real thing, and it is even stronger than the plastic in the old sleds from our younger days. And the fun doesn't have to be limited to cafeteria trays. A good cookie sheet is just as good. With a good push, you can go flying down over the bill with the wind blowing in your face making your cheek rosy and warm like in your favorite holiday tune. Add a little Crisco or oil or other lubricant and the speed, and the fun, increases. A good tray will last for many sled rides. There is no risk of ripping or shredding as in other conventional substitutes for a sled. Even if you hit a bidden rock or bump, your tray will remain intact, and you may even spare your behind unneccesary pain and suffering.

True, the tray is difficult to steer your first few times gliding down the hill, but you can get the hang of it. Then again, that feeling of being out of control just adds to the fun of sled riding. You sit on the sled, go rushing downhill, hit a bump and fly into a pile of snow. These are experiences that can only be truly savored on a tray. Soon you'll be able to get the hang of tray riding, and it is easier to handle and a little less haphazard than other means of sled riding.

Trays are economical. Trays are readily available. Trays are reliable. Trays are more fun. Trays get you from point A to point B as quickly and excitedly as one can imagine. There is no debate. When the snow piles up and classes are cancelled, you want to get out and enjoy the day as soon as possible. If you are in the right mind frame and want to relive the days of your old red plastic sled, grab a tray. The experience is the same and makes for a fun afternoon of winter bliss.

Go trays!

This week's • issue: Trays vs. Trash bags

Which

sledding?

Ju..,tinL' l)il'illipl1

Snow is falling and students' hearts fill with glee. School is cancelled. Go back to bed.

The snow has landed and that means sledding. Now for those of us who do not own a sled or just cannot fit them into their shoebox they call a room, the trash bag has come to our rescue.

My opponent says trays from the cafeteria are the way to go but that is hogwash.

Trash bags are bigger. You don't have to cram your legs and your butt onto a tiny area. Trash bags can be simply laid out and two people can fit on top of the bag comfortably. Trash bags made from plastic makes it slippery enough to use for sledding purposes.

Take our experience from the last snowstorm. Renee and I (amongst others) took a trip to Valley Forge Park. The five of us with one toboggan, a tray and a trash bag went sledding. The tray attempted by many of us only made it about halfway down the hill. The trash bag with a little push made it to the bottom of the steep bill and over the man-made jump. Two people at a time went on the trash bag. The poor rider of the tray had to go alone.

Trash bags did not only go further but they hurt the rider less. It seems that one's butt is the best padding. Going over a jump on a trash bag sounds like it would hurt but somehow it didn't. The five of us bad ridden down the hill on many occasions. On the first ride, we lost one of our passengers. On the second, the toboggan almost flipped on its way down. When we finally made it over the jump we landed on the hard wood and many were complaining about their rear ends hurting. The tray had never made it to the jump. The trash bag made it over and did not hurt the riders at all. My final point is that trash bags are easier to get a hold of (Unless you own a huge jacket and baggy pants.). Trash bags can be found in any home, room or apartment. If you ran out of trash bags I am sure that your neighbor will give you one considering they come in packs as big as 55 in a box. They are easy to replace. What happens when you break a tray? Next time it snows and you want to have some fun but not get into trouble, try the trash bag they are better.

Do you know of a heated debate that deserves attention? Write Mike '80s Butler and give him the beef. Visit the website at: WWW. theloquitur. com