FINAL COLUMN: Collector's Edition

I told you two weeks ago that my time here is short. Now, that time is over. But since I was never one to go quietly into the night, here's one last column for you.

Some people think that Columbine was the first ~hool shooting. They're wrong. From my research, the earliest one was in January of 1979 (the month and year I was born; explains a lot about me, doesn't it). Brenda Spencer was 16 when she opened fire on a San Diego elementary school. She fired 500 bullets with a .22 semi-automatic pistol that her father gave her for Christmas for over 20 minutes, killing the principal and the school caretaker as well as injuring eight students and a policeman.

Why did she do it? Here are her words: "I just started shooting, that's it. I just did it for the fun of it. I just don't like Mondays .I just did it because it's a way to cheer the day up. Nobody likes Mondays." This reasoning by Spencer inspired the Boomtown Rats number one hit "I Don't Like Mondays." Spencer is currently serving two 25year to life sentences.

Now I don't remember anything from 1979, but I'll bet that accursed Cabrini fountain that there was nowhere near as much hoopla and panic over Spencer's shooting spree than there was when the Columbine shootings happened. Sure, you could argue that the Columbine gunmen killed and injured more people but Spencer acted alone and fired more bullets. If she had a more powerful gun or better aim for those 500 shots she fired she easily could have killed just as many if not more people than the Columbine gunmen.

Speaking of Columbine, there's a new lawsuit that has just been filed by some of the families of those killed in the rampage. Conveniently filed just hours before the two-year statute of limitation expired, these families are suing AOL Ttme Warner, Nintendo, Sega, Atari, Sony and 20 other companies that manufacture and market video technology for $5 billion dollars. The suit is basically blaming the video game industry for the Columbine shootings, citing that the gunmen stated on a video they made that the video game "Doom" prompted their spree.

Remember when you were a child and another kid convinced you to do something wrong and then you got caught. Remember saying "he made me do it?" Remember how that excuse got the other kid in trouble? Now imagine that excuse actually worked. Now imagine that "he made me do it" is grounds for filing a lawsuit. Scary, isn't it?

I'm going to save our judicial system a Jot of time and money by issuing a ruling now. Parents, you're not getting any money. Video games did not kill your children, two angry teenagers with guns did. If you want to sue somebody, sue the kids that picked on Eric Klebold and Dylan Harris and pushed them over the edge. Or better yet, get together with the families of the people Brenda Spencer shot and sue Mondays.

I fear the outcome of this case, mainly because I have little faith in our courts. How can I have faith in a system that awards a woman $500,000 for spilling hot coffee in her lap?

Sure, the courts did a good job in throwing out the case involving the woman who allegedly burned her chin on a hot pickle at McDonald's, but hell, even the Cabrini administration does something right every once in a while (like the Senior Send-Off).

Furthering my distrust of our courts is the latest ruling by the US Supreme Court. In a 5-4 decision, they ruled that police "can arrest people for minor traffic offenses. This stems from a four-year-old lawsuit in Texas where a woman was handcuffed arrested in front of her children for driving without wearing her seat belt. She was brought to jail and spent an hour there before posting bail. The woman thought that being handcuffed and incarcerated was overkill for a violation that carries a maximum penalty of a $50 fine. Our Supreme Court thought otherwise.

So now in the future we can see jaywalkers being chased by K-9 units and cars with a taillight out needing a full SWAT team assault. And if that isn't bad enough, this ruling could increase racial profiling, which is where cops try to arrest you just for being a minority. Surprisingly, Justice Clarence Thomas voted in favor of this decision.

Of little comfort to the woman, myself or sensible people in general is the fact that all nine Supreme Court justices agreed that the cop overreacted, and the majority of the justices agreed that it was within his right to do so. The metaphorical equivalent of the previous statement is if your dog rips a chunk out of your son or daughter and all you do to the dog is say "You shouldn't do that, doggie, but it's okay if you do."

So what have we learned this week. We learned that school shootings have been around since most of the Class of 2001 bas been alive, even the parents of those slain at Columbine can become sickeningly greedy and that rolling a stop sign may warrant a cavity search by an overzealous police officer.

And what have we learned during this 2000-2001 school year? We have learned that I am right. I'm not being pompous; I'm just stating the facts. How can I not be right when practically no one disagreed or contested what I -· wrote? Sure, some of you may have disagreed with me but you chose not to say or write or do anything about it. The point is this: silence speaks. Remember that.