By Lou Anne Wellford, MD

Work-Life Balance:

Does It Really Exist?

By Lou Anne Wellford, MD

s I look back on my career in medicine, I ponder this question and wonder how well I achieved this balance. There were times when I believed I had it all under control and could conquer theA world. At other times, it seemed as if I were chasing that elusive unicorn in a fantasy world that would never merge with my daily reality.

Is there such a thing as the perfect work-life balance? Probably not, especially since it is a moving target that varies with the stage of your career and family situation. Am I an expert on this topic? By no means. Have I learned all the secrets to obtaining this balance? Certainly not. But after three decades in medicine and raising three children in a dual physician household, I have learned that a suitable balance is achievable. Like everything else in life, however, it takes hard work and frequent reassessment to reach that goal.

Perhaps it is easier for me to reach this conclusion now that my children have grown and left home—I actually have time to take a deep breath and sit down long enough to write an article. Ten to fifteen years ago, I was simply in survival mode, barely able to drag myself out of bed in the morning, let alone contemplate such a nebulous concept as a balanced life. Each of you

may also have to learn the hard way, by trial and error, until you become so overwhelmed that you decide to take action. Alternatively, my years of mistakes can serve as a guide to save my fellow women in medicine precious time and energy along this learning curve. If only my thirty-year-old self would have listened to such advice:

Creep Happens—No matter how welltuned your daily life, an invisible force will creep in to upset that balance. A few extra shifts, adding patients to the clinic schedule and going in on the weekends may be easily justified to help pay for that vacation you’ve dreamt of or for three college tuitions. But once that increased workload becomes the new baseline, then the creep happens again. Alternatively, your personal and family schedule becomes so jampacked that you fall behind in your CME and certification requirements. As a result of this silent shift, it is necessary to frequently monitor where you are and where you want to be in the balance.

Forgo the Superhero Status—Who hasn’t tried to overcompensate for missing out on activities with their family? Whether because of guilt, FOMO (fear of missing out) or the Type A personality which draws us to medicine, many of us have tried to be everything to everyone. Supermom. Best Friend. Wonder Wife. Employee of the Month. Of course, this is only sustainable for short periods of time until you collapse in exhaustion (mentally or physically) and can barely function. Simplify life whenever possible and occasionally accept less than perfection. It is okay to send store-bought baked goods to the bake sale instead of homemade cookies after working all day. Learn to Say “No”—Prioritize what is important and how much time and energy you can devote to each and every commitment. There is no need to prove yourself by being the “yes woman” to every request.

Be Present—Minimize distractions whenever possible to be fully present at work or at home. If possible, try not to take work home to allow for quality time with your family and friends. You can also set boundaries with the family to allow maximal concentration while at work.

It Really Does Take a Village—Be willing to accept help whenever offered. Delegating or sharing duties with friends, family and co-workers can lighten the burden.

Take Care of Yourself—Take time to reward yourself with some “me” time. How is it that you haven’t read a non-medical book in the last ten years when you love to read? Pick up that book. Or watch that show on Netflix you’ve put off for months. Have a spa day. It’s not being lazy to do something to relax or re-energize yourself. Find your passion and make time for it. As for me, in my late fifties, I discovered a passion for writing about some of the incredible medical stories I have encountered in my career. This newfound hobby helped to balance my job-related stress and led to the completion of my first book, a true story about a friend’s heart transplant and the unlikely relationships that developed as a result. (Of course, it didn’t hurt that there was plenty of free time during the early pandemic and quarantine).

With the help of these guidelines, I have come to believe that a work-life balance is achievable. And the good news is that such balance is conducive to longevity in your career and beneficial to your health. It will require active adjustments to maintain the balance, but with some work and frequent tweaking, you just may get close to catching that unicorn.

Lou Anne Wellford, MD is an emergency physician with Greater San Antonio Emergency Physicians. She completed her training at Brooke Army Medical Center. To learn more about her writings and her book, you can follow her on Facebook @Lou Anne WellfordAuthor. Dr. Wellford is a member of the Bexar County Medical Society.