Living Libido Loca Written by: Chrisha Rouse

I’m not in the mood. I just don’t feel like doing it. I WANT to want to, but I don’t. I enjoy myself DURING sex, but I just don’t care if it happens.

Can you relate? If you’ve felt this way, I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone. It’s a common struggle. However, there’s good news! Even though it may sometimes feel like you’ll never want sex again, there ARE things you can do to help get your groove back!

Let me start by stating that there are MANY reasons that people experience a low sex drive. Studies show that some of the most common causes include:

• Stress (financial, work, relationship, etc.) • Anxiety or depression • Low self-esteem • Fatigue or exhaustion • Certain medications • Menopause or hormonal imbalance

Sex is a healthy and important part of any relationship – even if that relationship is with yourself. Many people that experience some of these causes don’t realize the effects they can have on sexual desire. Or how the lack of desire can bleed into other aspects of their lives affecting their relationships and their health, physically and emotionally.

With the COVID-19 pandemic, people are understandably feeling less connected than ever. According to the National Health Interview Survey (NHIS) and the Household Pulse Survey (HPS), both administered by the U.S. Census Bureau, the number of people in the U.S. experiencing depression symptoms has more than tripled. This means it’s more important now than ever to connect with your partner.

How? Here are 5 things that you can do to reconnect and boost your libido:

1. Remove the pressure of having sex.

Reconnect by having a conversation and planning romantic time together (maybe a massage or a make-out session). Just take time to enjoy each other with no expectations of it ending in sex.

2. Have fun together.

Do something that you both enjoy or better yet, have a new experience together. Bonus points if it’s physical and gets your adrenaline pumping! Laughing together and sharing those moments helps rekindle the connection and reminds you why you chose each other.

3. Take care of you.

Make sure that you’re the best version of yourself—hydrate, exercise and rest. Don’t underestimate the importance of sunshine and laughter!

4. Try some all-day foreplay.

Send your partner flirty or sexy messages throughout the day. Get steamier and more suggestive as it gets closer to “sexy time.” (Possibly a sneak-peek glimpse of some new lingerie.) This builds anticipation on both ends and makes it harder to use excuses to back out.

5. Last but not least, bite the bullet and just do it.

Some people have found it helpful to schedule it and put it on the calendar. It may feel awkward at first, but that feeling will pass as excitement builds and you begin to look forward to that designated time together. Preplanning is especially important if one or both of you have a busy schedule. Intimate time with your partner needs to be a priority.

BONUS!

During sex, your brain releases what are known as “happy hormones” - dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. These are known to increase intimacy and boost feelings of pleasure and happiness while lowering stress hormone levels. This means that having sex is the easiest and most fun way to increase your desire. And the more you do it, the more often you’ll want to!

So if you find that you’re “not in the mood”, give these tips a try - you might be surprised at how good it feels to bring your sexy back!

Chrisha Rouse, Owner of Pure Romance by Chrisha https://www.PureRomancebyChrisha.com

Follow on social media @PRbyChrisha

16+ years of experience in educating and empowering women

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