February2018lot by loveontopmag

FEBRUARY 2018

12 16 20 28 44

CONTENTS Letter from the

Publisher Balancing Two Worlds FEATURE

THE LONESTAR Sexy Singles Old Flames:

Remembering Past Loves

Cover Photography by Sierra Vondran Rhodes Models: Sierra Rhodes & Godryck Thomas Rhodes 4

46 54 60 72 73

Pillow Talk with Ursula Ways to Keep the Spark in your SL Relationship

Things to do on

Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day Love Wins Romance Quiz Want to advertise your business in our magazine? Click here for a 15% discount on your first ad! does not include bogo special

CONTRIBUTORS EXECUTIVE TEAM Kitty Vicious

JOURNALISTS Lauren LeGrande

CEO

Production Manager

Gypsy Faith (gypsy64093) Scara (Scaramouche Dryke) Tatum Rose Monroe Spade (kawaiiduirii)

PHOTOGRAPHERS Bronvyn Zamari (Bronvyn) Gypsy Faith (gypsy64093) Lara (sweetheartlara) Mykel Martinsyde Tatum Rose Monroe Spade (kawaiiduirii)

Skylar Chaoticus Biocrysis Editor-in-Chief

Arkaine Gears PA

A Letter from the

PUBLISHER My first letter from the publisher, I am so excited! I have waited for so long to find my niche is SL and I have finally succeeded. I am proud to introduce and present to you our contribution to in-world entertainment. It is our intention to include all communities, species, types of love and kinks. We will deliver unbiased information and stories for the masses in this world. Our first issue is the Valentine’s Day issue. Being that we are a magazine built around love and all things in between, this is a big issue for us. We have included a few special treats for you like the Romance Quiz and a showcase of some of the best places to go for the big day. We also have a monthly segment, Pillow Talk, where our personal “sexpert“ will answer the questions that you have submitted. I won’t run through the entire Table of Contents, since you are pages away from the knowledge. We do want to express our gratitude for your support and contributions to our success. LoT will soon be introducing new, fun ways for you to be a part of this publication as well as a variety of community based articles. In this issue, we will be showcasing The Lonestar on the Benevolence sim. The owners of The Lonestar, Gary and Jen, have been in the club business for years. They have just relocated to a new sim and are still going strong. I interviewed яσѕαℓуη Reinerмan (rosalyn.macarthur) and she gives us all the details. I hope you enjoy this issue and I look forward to your feedback.

Well, yes, it is possible. The first thing we have to address is the balance. What are you whiling to sacrifice in each world to keep the other one stable? Time, that ticking clock that goes so slowly, but when having fun, it runs so fast. Yet we all forget that time is precious to all of us. It is a gift to share your time with someone, and one we all must appreciate when that other person wants to share their time with you. Dramatically saying, how long have we got on this earth? You never know, but you want to know you spent your life with the people you care about. But we still only have 24 hours in a single day. This is sadly not doubled when we visit the second world. So when spending time with that special someone, you must constantly consider your own time, health and real life. How to do this when the butterflies in your stomach have you at their mercy? Simple, be disciplined within your relationship. Be disciplined with yourself and ensure that whatever happens, you take excellent care of yourself as much as you take care of your love. It is true what they say, you cannot love someone else fully until you love yourself first. And if you can’t take care of number one, how can you take care and cherish number two? Those long nights, the lack of sleep, the exhaustion of living two lives will break the relationship easily.

Balancing Two Worlds Written by Scaramouche Dryke

Photography by Mykel Martinsyde

There are many of us who have spent nights online, when we do not have the ability or desire to turn off our computer screens and head to bed. Especially when that one person is online who makes you hurry home after your real life duties are done, skip dinner and spend the whole evening until the early hours with them in the virtual world. Speaking personally, I believe a couple of wrinkles under my eyes have formed because of this addiction for another player. Falling in love online and in virtual worlds/games has been a taboo but interesting topic of conversations since the world wide web created these little pockets of ideal heaven. You just have to search and there are tons of articles out there discussing it. But do they delve into the reality of it? They talk in great detail about the story, the overall picture or even the psychology, but not the nitty gritty of trying to juggle two worlds and two lives. Speaking from personal experience, I have found keeping a second life relationship can be exciting and blissful. Yet at the same time, tiring, draining and demanding, something most articles don’t delve into. I compared my previous partners (and yes there has been more than one) to a drug, an addiction. You love and adore every moment with them, and you don’t want to be anywhere else but in their virtual arms, exploring second life together and role-playing home life in the perfect world. Yet, with any addiction, there are downsides. Long nights awake in front of a glaring computer screen have caused my eyes to become tired and sore. Lack of or even too much food, and not the right food either, sends your weight up and down like a yo-yo. And of course, your blood is turning into pure caffeine from all the coffee you drink. All these factors, along with the emotional ups and downs of any relationship can have its toll on you physically and mentally.

Keeping personal rules is a great way to ensure you are a healthy individual for a relationship. For me, I started to ensure I had eaten a good meal before I went online. I set myself a computer shut down time, and of course, I made sure I still kept my social life outside of second life. All these little steps, I am sure, helped my previous relationships last longer, and ensured a long friendship once the relationship had naturally passed. Of course, if you are seeing someone who does have all the time and energy and a less active real life to be able to spend their whole days on second life, then it might be a bit trickier. But that is where good communication and openness helps you both. Being honest and saying you’re tired, or you have other plans, or you would like a night alone is not a crime. And if you are with someone who does not respect that, then you are going to have a long struggle and battle to make it work. In conclusion, keeping yourself happy and healthy will keep your relationship balanced and strong. Be open and talk to your partner about real life. If you are with someone who truly loves you then they will want you to take care of yourself, even if that means less time with them. Because at the end of the day, this is a second life and not real life. They can’t be there with you in person to ensure you have eaten, brushed your teeth and had a good night sleep. All they can see is what you portray to them through your avatar. And they would rather feel your positive energy shine through the computer than the tired, underfed and grouchy person slamming on their keyboard. Remember, this also works both ways. Ensure you are supporting and understanding your partner’s real-life needs in the same way you would want to be respected. With these simple balancing tricks, you will soon be in a happy healthy relationship with the one you love.

So, is it possible to have a healthy balance? Can you have a romantic relationship in second life without putting your body or emotions through the grinder?

The

LONESTAR Written by Kitty Vicious Photography by Leona Kitty Edited by Bronvyn Zamari

Kitty: When was the Lonestar founded? Rosalyn: Lonestar is most definitely a labor of love. Founded in 2006, it had very basic beginnings with Gary purchasing a small piece of land for his club. When Leona Kitty (owner of Weddings by Leona got involved), they purchased a land called Heartland which was the official venue for Lonestar and a complete country themed sim. Now based on the Benevolence Sim, Lonestar is a major feature on the sim offering not just exclusive country but caters to all music styles and themes.

Kitty: Who are the owners? Can you tell us a little about them?

Kitty: What type of club is it?

Rosalyn: Gary Alcott is the primary owner of Lonestar. A wild Greedy fanatic, Gary is big on Country and a true gentleman. Very much a true gentleman, Gary really cares about those around him and will help out anyone that needs it. He does have a tendency to be terrible at names and will rename you if need be but he means it all in good fun! Married in RL to Jen, he also owns the sim and both are huge on creating a community where every single business on the sim work together towards creating somewhere you can go to for a one stop shopping experience for nightlife and all aspects of Second Life social.

Rosalyn: While the roots of Lonestar is deep in Country, we very much welcome all genres of music. Our DJâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s play whatever style they like and are able to offer sets of all music styles. We have competitions with lindens up for grabs often during the day and we are very much your local bar where you can go and have a beer, a boogie and a chat! Not to mention the ongoing competitive Greedy Tournaments of course.

Kitty: I know you guys have just moved to a new sim. Has that prompted many changes with club? Rosalyn: We have chosen to release a brand new venue for the club to go with the brand new sim. It is fantastic and features not only many different textures but a riding bull as well as games level in easy location for those game fanatics. Kitty: Do you have any special events planned for Valentine’s Day? Rosalyn: We will be doing a Sweethearts dance after Valentine’s Day on the 17th with DJ’s and just a lot of romantic coupley spaces. There will be free photos available for couples or singles and a chance for couples to tour the sim on a romantic carriage ride for two. Kitty: Why would you recommend people come visit the Lonestar? Rosalyn: Our focus is not just on numbers. We want every single person that walks into the club to feel like they have come home. Anyone can come without judgement or prejudice and without feeling like their is cliques or someone they need to impress. They can come to Lonestar and request any song from Justin Bieber to Stompin Tom and enjoy just hanging out and having fun. We are more a family than just another SL club! Kitty: Should we be expecting anything new from the Lonestar? New events, new ventures? Rosalyn: We definitely want to continue to grow within the Second Life community. Around the clock events, quiz nights and games tournaments are currently where we are focusing on. We want to ensure that people in SL can get the “Cheers Bar” Feel (made easier with the tags on their heads obviously). Having a big event on a quarterly basis we will continue to bring to sl events where they can come and hang out and chat and be accepted for who they are.

Kitty: If there is any other information you would like to include about the Lonestar, that I may not have asked please feel free to include it below. Rosalyn: Lonestar is not just a club standing on its own. It is part of a huge community we are building. It is working in partnership with every single store on the sim, Weddings by Leona, the theatre and with movies in the park. The community is where the focus is on and ensuring the wider community works together and in conjunction with one another.

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/ Tropical%20Oasis/227/40/22

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/ Atlanta%20Beach/203/235/21

Premiere Male & Female Entertainment Open 24 / 7 Special Events EVERY weekend!

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s that time again!!

Sexy Singles 28

We are now excepting submissions for our Sexy Singles segment. Interested? Stop by HQ and click the board to get the questionnaire then drop the notecard in the mailbox by the door. Once we have your information, I will put your image on one of the Sexy Singles boards. You and your friends can come by and vote for you. The top 5 people with the most votes will be featured in the March issue. It is $L10 per vote and voting is unlimited!! Hurry and drop off your submission, voting ends February 10th @ midnight SLT! Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s your ride!!

Queen Alaina Miao-Ngozi (precious forcella) Rez Date: 7/23/2007 Quote: Virgo * Bisexual * Twenty Seven * Cali Bred Long Live Life Proceed Progress. Describe your perfect date? My Perfect Date would be Dinner at an exotic and romantic restaurant along with a walk on the beach before ending the night cuddling. Something nice and Intimate without going over into the realms of ecstasy too fast. What do you find sexy in a significant other? A woman or man with a Fashion Sense is the Sexiest thing ever, I love someone that knows how to dress and keep their self-up, putting on the right thing for every occasion without having to be trained is thrilling. What would you do for a night in with a significant other? A night at home would consist of playing a few games of Greedy before cooking a delicious meal together then snuggling up to watch a horror movie. What traits do you think are important for a significant other to have? Honest is the best trait to have, I don’t want anyone that will lie to me, tell me the truth even if it hurts, I’ll appreciate that more than anything. Consist is also very important, someone who says they’ll do something and follow through every time, I can’t get enough of that. What qualities do you find as a turn off when dating a potential partner? My turn offs are the opposite of my Turn Ons, which would be Inconsistent and a Liar. If you lie to me or become Flaky, that’s consists of running me away. I don’t have the time to chase anyone, I’d rather them be upfront and honest.

Mooky--Rezzi (mookymooky) Rez Date: 12/30/2017 Quote:”If you’re embrassed to do the things you love, then you don’t deserve the things you love.” -Vinny (Vinesauce) Describe your perfect date? Take them out to an old fashion carnival! Ride the rides, play a few carnival games and then end the night with the classic “Ride up on the Ferris Wheel and get stuck at the top for awhile so we can stare off into the distance and possibly get a kiss from one another. Yeah, I’m really old school like that, I guess. What do you find sexy in a significant other? CUTENESS! There is just something about people who are bashful and gentle that really gets me going. I am very much a softie myself (for the most part), so having another soft, adorable person with me would work out well. For me: Cute = Sexy. What would you do for a night in with a significant other? So a night in with my S.O? We’d play VIDEO GAMES. Lots and LOTS of VIDEO GAMES! I’m really into shooters, fighting, action and occasionally MMORPGs. By the way: Any lady that can hold their own against me in a best 3 out of 5 round match of “DragonBall FighterZ” will instantly have my heart. What traits do you think are important for a significant other to have? Well, just the moral basics like being kind, caring and honest. Loyalty is pretty hard to come by these days, but I will swear to the world that if someone shows care and honesty to me, I will show care and honesty right back to them. Treat others the way you would want to be treated, and all that. What qualities do you find as a turn off when dating a potential partner? Well it’s hard to say for just a few qualities, since I’m very much okay with all kinds of qualities when it comes to the female form. I like big girls and little girls, skinny girls and chubby girls, petite girls and buff girls... Man, I just like girls! I will admit, however, that I am quite partial to furry girls and girls that are more on the “thick” side of things, if you know what I mean... But regardless, I won’t turn down any lady that appeals to my main sensibilities of cuteness! 32

Raveness Slade Rezz date: 04/08/2007 Quote: ..I over communicate & feel too much ...I just complicate it when I say too much Describe your perfect date? Hmmm, it really doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t need to be anything fancy. I picture just a night out for a movie, maybe a quick bite to eat, maybe a walk around outside on a nice night......and just talking, enjoying each otherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s company What do you find sexy in a significant other? I find a take charge personality sexy. A man that knows what he wants, and takes care of it (or her -smiles- in all ways. A man that can hold a conversation about almost anything. Confidence to show his true emotions. A man that love and cares for animals/children. Also an old fashioned man is also sexy, the hold the door type. What would you do for a night in with a significant other? I can a nice dinner together, good conversation...then snuggling on the couch, under the covers and settling in for a movie fest. That safe feeling when his arm is around you and you can lean over and smell his cologne. What traits do you think are important for a significant other to have? Sense of humor, dependability, intelligence, confidence, generosity, integrity, kindness......mean there are more, but does that exist? -giggles- Most important is sense of humor. For me, laughter is truly the best medicine. I also think honestly, loyalty, and respect are important. What qualities do you prefer your significant other to have? See above. :)

Stuart Patrick McBear (stupidboi00) Rez Date: 12/29/2013 (RL Female in Male Avi) Quote: FYI...some people are coo coo and not for cocoa puffs! Describe your perfect date? Having a perfect date is hard to describe. Having the perfect date, there must be a lot of interest between the 2. The perfect date, enjoys the time spent with me. Even if the date has been to specific place before, they don't complain about it but enjoy it because they have never been there with me. A perfect date leads to a 2nd date. What do you find sexy in a significant other? What I find sexy in a significant other is intelligence, and one that can carry on a conversation. One that can communicate, this helps to get to know a person better. What would you do for a night in with a significant other? What I would do for a night in with my significant other would be to take the night off and show them how important they are to me. What traits do you think are important for a significant other to have? The traits that I find important in a significant other, is one that can hold a conversation and that holds attentiveness. But most important, a significant other must be honest. I'd rather be told the truth, no matter how it hurts, than to be hurt with a lie. That breaks trust and if there is no trust, there is no relationship. What qualities do you find as a turn off when dating a potential partner? The qualities that I find to be a turn off when dating a potential partner, is when someone tells me they want my attention, but yet ignore me.

Gabby

(gabbyjaws)

Rez Date: 7/25/2013 Quote: Love to dance, surf, shoot zombies and I still have not seen all that SL offers. Describe your perfect date? A night dancing either formal or at a jazz club. Perhaps a romantic boat ride. What do you find sexy in a significant other? Nice looking avatar, preferably wearing mesh and a good personality. Long hair is a real plus. What would you do for a night in with a significant other? Probably spend cuddle time with each other, maybe give him a massage and spend intimate time. What traits do you think are important for a significant other to have? Good personality, honesty, funny, loves to explore sl, good attitude. What qualities do you find as a turn off when dating a potential partner? Conceited thinks his avatar is Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gift to women, smart mouthed, thinks the world owes them a favor. Not using voice, talking nasty without knowing me. Cat calls, camming other female avatars when with me, being rude to others, constantly complaining about sl or their rl situation.

Dre Wayne Shooters (andre1226) Rez Date: 01/12/2013 Quote: “Sin. Repent. Repeat.” I don’t want your apology. I want your obedience. Describe your perfect date? When I plan a perfect date I pay attention to my dates interest, what food she likes how comfortable she is in certain atmospheres, it’s important to me to be able to have a great conversation and the ability to interact with touch, my hand upon her back, to touch her hand. If she is smiling and comfortable the date is perfect. What do you find sexy in a significant other? I love when I woman smells good and looks good. My weakness is bright cheerful eyes. What would you do for a night in with a significant other? There is nothing better than comfort food. I’d cook, have snacks set aside for later, rent movies, and just keep her cuddled up to me for the night in. What traits do you think are important for a significant other to have? Intelligence, great sense a humor, independent, and able to think in the best interest of someone else. What qualities do you find as a turn off when dating a potential partner? Cattiness, clinginess, or depressive.

Old Flames

Remembering Past Loves Written by Scaramouche Dryke Photography by Mykel Martinsyde With Valentine’s day upon us, it is so easy to fall into a deep emotional state where your brain picks out moments of your past, both good and bad. Especially when you see so many happy couples running around, hand in hand and cooing over each other while sharing a beautiful dinner for two in some fancy restaurant. Certainly, a more sensitive time of year when you are single of course. Memories of an old flame are sure to pop into your head now and again, even if you are with a new partner. You may never mention these thoughts, but we all have them and we all look back on past relationships with a soft sigh and heavy heart at the good times.

Past relationships are tricky in the world of Second Life. Unlike real life where you can spy on your ex-partner via social media or through friends you shared, second life doesn’t have the same amount of stalking freedom. The only option you have is to glance at their profile to see if anything has changed. Normally, it is the usual change of phrases and quotes. Maybe your special picture has gone, and possibly they have changed their profile picture but, little is there to ever tell you about how that certain person is personally doing.

Unless you have shared friends in the virtual world, it is hard to find out how that old flame is, and of course, the temptation to write a quick “hello” or “how are you doing?” in IM is a dangerous game if you both split when emotions were high. So when remembering a past lover in this world, it can be difficult to deal with for many.

Maybe you are lucky, and are still in contact and made friends out of those you have shared more intimate times with. But, there are those of us who find that more of a challenge due to the emotional connection we once shared with that other person. Especially if the break up was recent too.

Yet, some of us veterans on second life have ex-partners that go back years, maybe even nearly a decade now. And we still think about them. So much time has passed and yet you wonder now and again how they are doing and what they are up to.

Valentine’s day is a day filled with emotions, love, and celebrations of current partnerships. But it is also the day to look back on love as a whole and remember the good times you once shared with another person, no matter if it ended good or bad. Each one of those past relationships made you the person you are today, and as you sit within the mix of chocolate wrappers and heart-shaped exploders everywhere, it is a wonderful moment to just remember and think of those who you once shared your heart with, in this world.

Pillow Talk with Ursula is a brand new in-world sex, dating, and relationship advice show where viewers can come to a live show and ask our sexy host, Ursula, the burning questions they’ve always wanted answered. Ursula is not afraid of any topic and is willing to handle anything that is presented to her. Live shows are every Saturday at Equinox Theater on the Benevolence sim 8pm SLT and will go for approximately an hour. This show is not for the faint of heart as our topics may veer off into the raunchy side. We encourage audience participation during our live shows and who knows, you may just end up being featured on one of our forthcoming webisodes! Come out and meet our sexy host Ursula and don’t be shy, she won’t bite unless asked.

I’m in a happy RL relationship, but still in love with my old SL flame from a year ago. How do I move forward and leave my feelings for my former SL love behind? Let’s be painfully honest. If you are so happy with you RL relationship, you would not give your “old SL flame” a second thought. There’s nothing wrong with you. Clearly, your SL flame from a year ago, connected with you on a very intimate level, and most likely had fulfilled a need you had / and or possibly continue to have (be it emotional, intellectual, sexual, or any combination of those). Try this: think about the things you love about your ex. What’s so special about him compared to your current RL partner? What’s missing - exactly? If this characterization is true, can you incorporate that missing element into you RL relationship? So, for example, in RL, I was engaged in BDSM activities with my RL partner/husband, (it’s the nature of who I am). Going forward, in any relationship in which I engage, will have to include that element. Now let’s say I get together with someone who finds BDSM deplorable. I will always have that missing element nagging at me, in the back of my head, and my eye will always wander. I’m not belittling myself here – I’ve just come to understand whom I am and what I need. I’ve come to realize that I’m denying myself that which makes me happy and feel fulfilled in a relationship - and in the end, I’ll always seek it out if I don’t have it with anyone I’d consider “partner material.” For me, I’ll never be able to fully connect with someone who is strictly vanilla….ever. But that’s me. Embrace your needs, once you’ve clearly identified them, and seek out their satisfaction in a mate. While your RL relationship may be lacking a crucial element in which your SL ex had given you, look for ways to bridge that gap. As for your SL ex, give yourself space. Don’t contact him until you can identify that which is missing (for you) in your RL relationship. In time, he will become a distant memory. I wish you the very best and always know I am here to listen.

I am dating this woman, whom I find amazing, but we seem to argue a lot. I am really not sure why. It always starts off small, but blows up pretty quickly. I am never really sure how things escalate so fast. After things calm down and we talk we will be fine for a few days to about a week...then it will happen again. Is this relationship doomed or is there something else I should do? But isn’t make up slex awesome? Kidding! Wow, ok, according to relationship professionals: “It is not the fact that you argue that is important; it is how you argue, how you end your arguments and how you make up afterwards that counts. “ I have always stressed personality profiles. Some consider it voodoo science but honestly it has saved me many a headache in both my personal and professional life. There are several out there that are free to take on line. They are based on the Myers-Briggs personality assessments. https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test There are four basic personality types. Driver — Fact-Based Extrovert Analytical — Fact-Based Introvert Amiable — Relationship Introvert Expressive — Relationship Extrovert For example, I am a Driver. If my partner is say an Expressive rather than say “ You hurt me by flirting with girl X(fact based) I would say “How would it make you feel if I flirted with girl X?”(feelings based). Feelings and emotions are the currency of an Expressive, by touching on their feelings rather than my facts they would be able to see my point because they “feel it.” Arguing is normal and can be very healthy. Most couples fall in a rut after a while. Remember back to when you first got together? Wasn’t it exciting to get to know as much about your partner as you could? Make that an ongoing thing. Continue to explore your partner’s attributes. Change how you argue. I know this may seem silly but try arguing in a whisper. Not only does it change the tone but you would be surprised how much more you can glean when you are actively listening.

Is there an age where I should stop shaving cute shapes out of my “down there” hair? NO! In fact I would suggest trying a different color as well. I do have a hard and fast rule of women (or men) having cranial hair below their ass after 25 but as far as your, “rug” go for it! Have fun! (I wanna be the life of the party at 75 and lord help the cute orderly that checks out my heart shaped pubes)!

In your opinion, What’s a reasonable time to date and get to know a person before partnership is considered in SL? You are right, the answer I am about to give you is strictly based on my opinion. A reliable source tells me that 1 week in SL is equivalent to about 1 month RL time. So then the question now is: how much time are you spending per week? Are both parties logging in regularly? Next is the maturity factor I like to take into consideration – example, consider a person that has only been in-world 2 months vs. a person who has been in-world 5 years. To elaborate, when we are first login to SL we are full of wonder and questions, we may engage in multiple relationship whether they be emotional or strictly sexual. I have a friend who I met on day 1. We flirted, we shared experiences and I watched in fascination as he “collared” multiple women. As time progressed, he finally grew weary of the “exploring lifestyle” phase, and formally asked me to partner him, after 6 months together. The second time I partnered, I did so after two months of knowing someone at a very intense level with equal time being spent in-world as well as in RL. You’ll have to follow your gut on this one. The fact that you’re asking this question tells me that you’re not ready to “partner.” Make that clear to your other potential partner. It’s fine to ask for more time before making the commitment. A person that is interested in a serious relationship with you, will understand and honor your feelings. When the time comes, you’ll know. In your heart you’ll know that it’s time. Follow your gut level instincts and quit looking at the calendar.

Hi Ursula, what are the tricks to make my boyfriend loyal? He always seems to be a candy for other girls. Girl, if I KNEW that trick I would be swimming in Lindens. There are two factors at play here. First, you cannot MAKE anyone something they are not. Has he shown indication that he is following up on simple flirtation? Second, I recently read the following quote “It’s not that I don’t trust my boyfriend, It’s the fact I know how slimy other girls can be”. Look, clearly your boyfriend has a smoking hot avi and or awesome personality (or both), and you don’t want to come off as sounding critical of his natural traits. Why? Because YOU’LL drive him away. Take pride in the fact that he is smokin’ hot / has an awesome personality. He did, after all, choose YOU to be with him. If the flirting on his part is bothering you, have a conversation with him about YOUR feelings. You should see a difference. Again, if you notice I capitalized YOU and YOUR because ultimately that is the only person you have control over. However, in the spirit of your question I will share a VERY signature “Ursula Trick” that is effective 99.9% of the time. This actually has nothing to do with keeping boyfriends “honest,” but does weed out a lot of deceptive “girl collectors.” Again, - shhhhh - this trick is a LoT Reader Exclusive. Let’s say, Boy X approaches Ursula for the 3rd or 4th time, wanting to break off a piece of Ursula candy. I say to Boy X: “ok, I’ll make you a deal. We can go back to my place and pixel-fuck each other all night, after which we agree to block each other and never speak again - or - we can continue to get to know each other and let the connection take a more - organic path. If they take option A, I will just block them anyway - no candy for them. If they choose option B, well they very well may be worthy of getting to know me as a person. You will be very surprised at the responses to this “Trick”. 50

I have been in SL for 6 years, although not always on a daily basis. Many of my SL peers have been married at least once. I haven’t been married once. I am arty, and curvy. I wish I knew how to get my social/dating life fixed, I am tired of being the only one out. Please help me..PS I did sign up with one SL dating service, but it’s been a while since I heard from them. I also do socialize as well. So what’s your rush? I can assure you there is nothing broken, so let’s start there. You don’t have to measure yourself against your friends SL developments. Looks, it’s like FB. Most people will attempt to convince you that their “online” persona is a lot more exciting than the real “them.” Those that taunt how “awesome their life is,” on social media, are actually over compensating for the truth. By seeking validation from others, they can justify that they in fact are living an awesome life. Do you think people that are having such an awesome time even have time to post updates? Getting to your question: if an SL relationship is what you really desire and seek than open yourself up to the possibilities. Try new things, make it a goal to make contact with THREE new people and visit THREE new sims each time you log in. Completely at random. As you cast your net wider, you will be surprised. That new friend you met at the zombie killing sim may know someone that is a good match for you. That noob that needs help putting their shoes on may be the love of your life. It doesn’t sound to me that you are socially inept (sadly I have seen some of those cases around). Consider yourself lucky that you are not bogged down by partners/relationship that will hinder your artsy instincts. Go about your business and love will hit you when you least expect it, if that is what you want. Whatever you do, don’t do it to keep up with the Jones’. Be true to yourself and rock on!

Need advice on love and relationships? Have a question for Ursula? Send in your submissions HERE!

Ways to Keep The SPARK In Your SL Relationship Written and Photographed by Tatum Rose Monroe Spade Sometimes things can be day to day and stay pretty much the same, but I have some ways to spice that second life right up! ...and your relationship too! I decided to interview a very close friend of mine. Her name is Brooklyn Rose Hemsworth!

Tatum- What do you think is a good date idea?

Brooklyn - I feel that it’s enriching to have friends that are couples. Sometimes, when you get to see

how others behave and treat each other it will remind you and your significant other of some of the values you have lost touch with or need to brush up on. It’s also a lot of fun to be around like-minded people. You automatically get to have fun, try new things that you both may have never tried before as well as share your happiness with the ones closest to you.

Brooklyn- Anything involving role play. If you don’t know how to role play, it’s worth it to learn for sure.

There is something about taking the time to type out intricate paragraphs, (or a few sentences at the very least), that makes it very endearing and comforting. So if you find someone who knows how to role play or is willing to learn, grasp it and do as many things and go to as many places in second life as possible.

Tatum- Do you think it’s good to have couple friends, that you and your significant other hangout

“You simply cannot have a relationship without romance.”

with?

Tatum- In your opinion, is romance important in any relationship?

Brooklyn - Romance is a MUST! I have found you simply cannot

have a relationship without romance. The relationship becomes stale and stagnant. More of a friendship of sorts. You may love the person, but there needs to be passion and romance.

Tatum- In your opinion what are some fun ideas couples can try to spice up their relationship?

Brooklyn - Some ways to spice up the romance would be to cook

dinner together, but make it tastefully sexy. Let the sexier things happen after both of you enjoyed a wonderfully made meal together. Or you can have a romantic picnic. This is something that needs a little extra planning. Make sure you research a sim that allows for you to be able to rez any and everything to have a romantic picnic with your lover prior to the night of. Maybe pick out something that your significant other enjoys eating, your favorite beverage, just go the extra distance to make them feel loved and appreciated. Another way is you can research an airport and vacation spot and get away together! The options are limitless in SL. Show them you will go above and beyond for them!

Tatum- How do you feel about experimenting in the bedroom? Brooklyn- I feel as though a little (or a lot) of experimentation is

healthy for a relationship. As long as all parties are comfortable and consenting to do so, then go for it! There is nothing wrong with vanilla, but why not try a little cookie dough or double fudge swirl? You may like it! If you take the time to learn, really truly learn what your partner likes, then both of you will be satisfied. In the action of your partner being pleased, you in return will be pleased as well. There is something very rewarding in this exchange.

Tatum- What do you suggest couples should do in the event of an argument?

Brooklyn - Well, so many of us have committed the offense of

trying always to be heard instead of listening. Sometimes the best thing is not silence oneself not out of spite, but to hear the needs and concerns of your significant other. Make mental notes and make an effort to change the issues you are able to, as long as they are reasonable. Too often we get caught up with tit for tat issues and you lose sight of what’s most important. You must be able and willing to communicate with your partner as well. Swallowing your problems or brushing them aside will not fix things, it will only make them worse. So hash them out asap. Once both parties are heard, makeup sex is always nice. But don’t be ignorant to the fact of lack of effort after that. If they don’t put for the effort time and time again, it becomes redundant and pointless. ...I hope you enjoyed reading, I wish you a wonderful Second Life!

Whether single or in a relationship! Written and Photographed by Tatum Rose Monroe Spade

Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s day is a special day like no other! Treat your significant other or yourself! I have some awesome places for just you or you and your significant other to explore! I also have some perfect valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s day ideas to do at home! I have chosen my top five most romantic and beautiful places to visit this valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s day! These places have amazing atmospheres and the perfect mood lighting! Take some pictures and invite the family!

1. BELLA BISTRO - Romantic Restaurant, since 2009, Bella Bistro has been a

full-service establishment in Second Life. Inside youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll find low lighting, soft music and a stylish interior adorned with elegant paintings, not to mention a menu that rivals many top SL establishments. 62

2. THE PEAK: Romance and Beyond, A table for two right off of the lake. An enchanting evening in a beautiful ballroom. A dip in the ocean or a jaunt on the local boardwalk. A quiet evening around a campfire or snuggling in a drifting canoe. These are the moments that inspire us to fall in love...not just with the person beside us, but with the surroundings that create a moment in time that will last in your memory forever 64

3. PURE LOVE: Drift away with your lover or hang out with a friend at Pure Love. Cuddle, Dance, walk around, bring a horse and ride together or enjoy the winter-themed landscape. 66

4. WHISPERING WINDS: Welcome to the retreat called Whispering Winds. Home to three per-

formance venues, a redwood forest, caves to explore, and many romantic spots. Use the provided teleport posts or explore on your own!

5. SOUTHERN HEART: Walk down the enchanted pathway into the romantic Enchanted Ballroom. Set your environment to sunset and enjoyâ&#x20AC;¦ 70

Love Wins Written and Photographed by Gypsy Faith

What is the first thought that you have when the subject matter is love? For so many, and this may surprise you, the first thought is the romantic part love plays in our lives. We give the role that love plays in our lives so much power that it can literally drive us to our mental end. But love, in its very own right, can also be experienced not as an adjective but as a noun. Yes, a person, place or thing. Imagine love as a little cupid super hero fairy. When our hearts are hurting, our super hero love fairy comes running to the rescue jumping into the heart of the person it needs to be in, to get to us so it can heal us, nurture us, care for us. Although it can sound a little much, we must admit that love has its own breath of life. It flitters in and out of our lives using many different hosts to reach us. The usual suspects are our romantic partners, yes, but also in our family, friends and yeah, we just can’t leave out our pets for they truly are incredible hosts for love to reach us. They are my adorable all-time favorite. Now if we have love inside of us (that sounds non-sensical but, there are some “ya-know”), no matter how bad things get in life, including our romantic relationships, true love will always find us and help us heal; breathe; live; move on and make us able to give love ourselves. Love, most normally, does manifest itself in people to reach us. But so many times love will really throw us a curve ball finding its host in the last person in the world we would have expected or not at all the person we wish it would have been. The main thing is that love will find us in our time of need to help us heal and move on and just be the people love makes us be from day to day. The key to getting love to make its home inside of us and to stay is allowing it to help us love ourselves. Although love does reach us through family, friends and pets no matter how much love we get through those sources it will never completely be able to make us truly happy until we are able to care about ourselves, to love ourselves. Although there are obstacles, we CAN overcome them. We can let go and let love, forgive others so we can forgive ourselves. We can throw the past away but remember the lessons that we learned from it and apply them to our lives. Keep a written list of all the positive things we are and we can be and say a few of those to ourselves every day. Find support groups and let me tell you those come in many different forms from actual support groups to our exercise classes to bible study’s even building classes can act as a support group by making friends with others taking the classes and working together. All those things are actions we are taking to move forward and grow into better people. In the end of each situation we face love can always land on top and make us stronger and happier people ready to face any mountain, any storm and even our success’s if we let it. In closing, remember to start every day with Love on Top and you will have a happier life.

Romance uiz Q 1

Do you have a pet name for your partner? a. Yes b. No c. Not one I use to his/her face!

When is the last time you told your partner you love him/her? a. Yesterday b. A week ago c. A month ago d. You don’t remember

8 How often are you and your partner intimate? a. Daily b. Weekly c. Monthly d. On birthday and special holidays

9 5

When was the last time you did some thing romantic for your partner? a. Yesterday b. A week ago c. A month ago d. You don’t remember

Do you believe in love at first sight? a. Yes b. No

For you, the most romantic date would be? a. Anytime, anyplace as long as your partner is with you b. Romantic restaurant c. A picnic d. Netflix and Chill

What is your idea of a loving gesture? a. Giving gifts b. Taking your partner out for dinner c. Sex d. Saying “I love you”

When you see your partner what is your immediate feeling? a. Butterflies in your tummy b. Happiness c. Nausea d. “Ehh! I just saw him/her this morning!”

Which one of these public displays of affection is for you? (only choose one) a. A quick peck on the lips b. Holdings hands c. Tongue bath and ass grab d. “I’d do my partner anytime and anyplace!”

If your partner had to leave for a week with no contact with you, you would? a. Cry everyday till he/she returns b. Watch home movies just to hear his/her voice c. Eat chips in bed and watch porn every night d. Through a party and hangout with your friends on a daily basis

A=4 points B=3 points C=2 points D=1 point

1-10 You are not romantic at all!! You are lucky your partner hasn’t left you. Go to nearest floral shop, buy the most expensive flowers you can afford and beg for forgiveness for your stupidity.

21-30 Romance Ninja!! You are doing a great job showing your partner how much you care. You know that it takes effort to keep the spark in your romance and it is necessary to let your partner know they are important.

31-40 11-20 It is clear you care for your partner, but it wouldn’t hurt to go out of your way to be more romantic. It is not always necessary to spend a fortune or perform a grand gesture, sometimes the little things show how much you care even more.

You are a romance Rock Star!! You are doing everything you need to do to show your partner how you feel and what it is like to swept off his/her feet. Don’t let this result give you a big head. Keep up the good work.