THE
FRIDAY, JANUARY 12, 2007
MAROON
PAGE 7
It’s called a break-up, not a breakdown Editor’s note: This is the first installment of a bi-monthly column answering Loyola students’ questions about sex and relationships on campus. Dear Jodi, I just got out of a relationship with who I thought was the love of my life. I am totally heartbroken by this and I don’t think that I can ever get over it. How can I move on without completely losing my mind? -Lovelorn at Loyola Dear Lovelorn, I think Carole King said it best with, “Breaking up is hard to do.” But what she really should’ve said was “Breaking up will make you want to pull your hair out, drink heavily, stop bathing, put ‘Chasing Cars’ on repeat on your iPod, stay up until 5 a.m. and sleep until 4 p.m., check your phone like it’s your job in case he/she calls, become a professional Facebook stalker to see when that relationship status will shift over to single and inevitably, breaking up will make you want to die.”
Give it to us straight, and you just miss the sex, Carole: Breaking up sucks. but whatever works. A It is one of the worst person has just rejected things any single person you. They’re basically can experience more than telling you that you’re not once. On college cammarriage material, and puses, however, this awful they see no future with experience seems to be a you. You’re the twoJODI SAN LUCAS very regular occurrence. month version of what GET OUT OF MY DREAMS Relationships come and go he/she wants in a spouse. AND INTO MY COLUMN in that short four-year Feel like a winner yet? time span, but break-ups go hand in hand Break-ups don’t have to be the painful, with every relationship status change on heartbreaking, eating ice cream by the scoopFacebook. ful experience they are supposed to be. I say I have always thought that college is a Loyola starts a new trend: Make break-ups a great place to meet your future spouse, way to remember that you’re awesome ... and because everyone’s single, everyone’s horny hott (yes, with two T’s). Persons of the oppoand everyone’s drunk. But 18-22 isn’t exactly site sex should want to be with you. You are a the ideal age for a long-term commitment, so hott commodity. if you’re in college, there is probably a breakWhy feel worthless when you can feel up or two right around the corner. fabulous? And I’m not talking to just the Break-ups are depressing and sad. They ladies. Guys, you can feel better about yourmake you feel worthless because you’ve lost selves. Go out, get a number, talk to a girl someone who has become a very big part of who is totally out of your league. She might your life. Or it might’ve been purely physical not say yes, but you talked to the hottest girl
at the bar by the end of the night, didn’t you? Same thing, ladies. Talk to the guy at the end of the bar who could be McDreamy’s twin brother. Go out and get a great “boob” top. No cleavage? Get a water bra — just watch what you bump into when you have a couple cocktails later. You don’t want to spring a leak. I am a firm believer in that whole “everything happens for reason” hoopla. Take a break-up as a sign that this is your opportunity to maybe find someone who is a far better match for you. New Orleans is full of available singles. So get out there instead of sulking in the tub with a jug of wine and sappy music playing in the background. It will be hard at first, but give yourself a week to cry, or if you’re a guy, pout, and go out on a date. If Jennifer Aniston, J.Lo and even crazy Tom Cruise can do it, why can’t you? Go out there and get some. But remember: Keep it classy, Loyola. Have a relationship question for me? I’ll answer it. Write me at maroon@loyno.edu.
New Years: Weight loss and quitting smoking don’t cut it Continued from page 6
Think you’re a Carrie Bradshaw? Or maybe Chris Rose? A Woodward or Bernstein? Or maybe a Perlstein?
so your weekend isn’t an endless, slurred carnival of drunk. Instead of replying “I’m going out” when your peers ask what you’re doing tonight, let them know you’re volunteering at a soup kitchen, or taking interpretive dance classes. Try getting off the phone, give your thumbs a rest and write a letter or send a postcard to your friends and family. Stamps are only 39 cents, and paper is pretty much free at Loyola, considering how much is used in the Monroe Library printers. Even your trusty cell phone is getting into the New Year’s resolution industry, as companies like Thumbplay.com offer “motivational” messages sent to your phone to keep your head in the game. If you really need to have your phone tell you what to do, you’re clearly in need of some help. Get creative, combine your ideas. Maybe you can read about how to quit smoking and then apply it. That’s two resolutions in one, and that’s way ahead of most people. You’ll turn the statistics upside-down, you little over-achiever, you.
If so, we know you’ve got the ... write ... stuff for us. So come to the Maroon office and be one of our intrepid reporters. Or columnists. Whichever. We’re easy.
TOM MACOM / THE MAROON
Alex Woodward can be reached at adwoodwa@loyno.edu.
Jessie Camp, history junior, enjoys a cigarette in ‘Smokers’ Alley.’ Quitting smoking is a common New Year’s resolution.
Our office is room 328 in the Communications/Music Complex. Our number is (504) 865-3535.