GOD’S GIF T RECONCILIATION
NOURISH YOUR FAITH
TOM McGRATH
TOGETHER
PR EPA R I N G AT H O M E F O R FI R ST R ECO N C I L I AT I O N UNDERSTANDING YOUR CHILD’S
MORAL
DE V ELO PMENT
Catholic
FACTS
ACTIVITIES TO HELP
Easy-to-use online resources
TEACH
www.loyolapress.com/retreat
THE CATHOLIC
With this free 3-Minute Retreat, experience soothing music, a daily Scripture verse, and reflective thoughts and questions to prepare your heart and mind for the busy day ahead.
FAITH
www.loyolapress.com
FAMILY STORIES
Practical articles. Fun activities. Helpful answers. At www.loyolapress.com, you’ll find a variety of relevant resources to help your family engage in a deeper friendship with God. From stories about the saints to facts about the sacraments, from traditional prayers to contemporary Catholic topics, you’ll find it all at one convenient site!
ISBN-10: 0-8294-2656-6 ISBN-13: 978-0-8294-2656-4
3441 N. Ashland Avenue Chicago, Illinois 60657 (800) 621-1008 www.loyolapress.com
plus Tips for Living the Lessons
session 1
God Calls Us Friends
“
One does not love one’s children just because they are one’s children but because of the friendship formed while raising them.
8 God Calls Us Friends
”
Gabriel García Márquez, Nobel Prize Laureate in Literature
”
For the Grownups
Life Lesson Years ago I taught high school religion. One day after homeroom, a sophomore lingered in his seat after the bell rang. “What’s up, Chris?” I asked. He hemmed and hawed and
a pretty lousy friend. It was a
then confessed what was
long, long car ride home.”
bugging him. His best friend, Edgar, had
In religion class the next day, we studied Adam and Eve
invited him to join a family trip
and the effects of original sin.
to a local amusement park.
I asked, “How does this play
The two of them were excited
out in our lives today?”
and talked about all the rides
Chris raised his hand and
they’d go on, the food they’d
said, “What Adam and Eve
eat, and the girls they’d
did was like ditching a good
undoubtedly meet.
friend.” As he said this, he
“So what’s the problem?” I asked.
looked over at Edgar, who just stared straight ahead,
“When I got there, I
refusing to turn his head. It
kinda ditched my friend,”
took months for the two of
Chris replied.
them to reconcile. ■
“Kinda?” “Well, yeah, I saw some
—Tom McGrath, author of Raising Faith-Filled Kids, Loyola Press
guys I knew from my cousin’s neighborhood, and I joined up with them because they were having a blast.”
Pray for Your Family
“How did that work out?”
God, give us the grace
“Not so good. When I came
to let go of anything
back to hang out with Edgar, he wouldn’t even talk to me. I knew I hurt him bad. I was
that would break our friendship with you.
9
for the grownups
Catholic Fact
Your Child’s Moral Development: Empathy How does a child learn right from wrong? Most experts believe that moral emotions, such as empathy, admiration, and self-esteem, as well as anger, shame, and guilt, are natural emotions that are present at a very early age. Your job is to help nurture your child’s ability to access and manage these emotions. In this chapter, we look at empathy, the ability to comprehend and imagine life from another’s perspective. It’s the ability to “walk a mile in another’s shoes.” Children show signs of empathy early on; it’s not unusual for the crying of one infant to set off a chorus of wailing among other nearby infants. Your child is old enough to be aware of how others feel and that each person may have different responses to the same situation. Try these ways to help fine-tune your child’s sense of empathy:
The Immaculate Conception does not refer to how Jesus was conceived. It refers to the conception of Mary, who came into the world untainted by the effects of original sin.
■ Regularly
invite your child to imagine being one of the characters in a book, TV show, or video. Ask, “What would you do if you were there?”
■ Stop
your child if he or she is being cruel. Review the situation together and imagine how the other person feels.
■ Talk
about situations in your life at work and your child’s life at school that call for empathy and compassion.
■ Make
it a clear expectation that sharing is a part of life in your family.
One Family’s Story I was 12 and working at a store. I decided that I wanted an item and didn’t want to pay for it, so I put it in a box and took it outside with the trash. After the store closed, I came to where the trash was kept to retrieve the item. To my surprise, the item was gone. The next day when I came to work, the owner of the store called me into his office. He had the item on his desk. I confessed to my crime. To my surprise, he forgave me, and I didn’t lose the job. He became my mentor. I never stole again; but more important, I learned to be more compassionate toward others. —Deacon Juan F. Lezcano, SFO, Federal Way, Washington, D.C. Read more family stories at www.loyolapress.com/godsgift.
10 God Calls Us Friends
Grownups and Kids
Read Aloud, Learn Together
1
STEP
3-Minute Family Retreat
Gather in a comfortable place. Ask everyone to stand and take three slow, deep breaths. When all are ready, invite them to have a seat and close their eyes. Slowly read aloud the following meditation: Right now, we are each going to think of our very best friends. Imagine spending time with your friend . . .
2
STEP
Think about it: Where do you and your friend like to spend time together? . . . What do you do there? . . . What do you say? . . . Notice how you feel when you are with your closest friend.
What you will learn together We were created to live in friendship with God. Sometimes we do things that hurt that friendship. Work your way through the four-step process with your child to learn how God sent his Son, Jesus, to show us the way back to friendship with God and with one another.
Pause for a moment. Friends are great, aren’t they? They bring lots of happiness to our lives. We have God to thank for the gift of our friends. And though you might not always think of him this way, God is your friend too. Open your eyes, and we’ll talk more about being friends with God.
Let’s imagine . . .
. . . walking in the Garden of Eden with God. Think about the trees, the flowers, the cool breeze, the warm sun, and God by your side. If you could ask God anything, what would you ask him? If you could tell him anything, what would you tell him? What do you think God would say to you if you listened closely? We can have a conversation with our friend God for real! It’s called prayer. Not only do we talk to him, but we also listen. Have you ever had a conversation with God? What was it like?
Discuss this for a moment. Then turn to pages 2–3 in your child’s book and read aloud the Scripture story “God’s Gift of Grace.” This recounts the story of Adam and Eve in Genesis 2 and 3. Next, discuss the following questions and, if your child has not done so already, complete the sticker activity: ■ Adam
and Eve had just one rule to follow in God’s garden. What was it? (Don’t eat the fruit on a certain tree.)
■ What
did Adam and Eve do when Satan tempted them?
(They disobeyed God and ate the fruit.) ■ What
happened to Adam and Eve’s relationship with God after they disobeyed? (They turned away from God’s grace. They didn’t act as his friends.)
Sometimes it seems like it would be much easier to disobey than to follow the rules. Let’s talk about a time when we each felt tempted, but we stuck to the rules anyway. Spend a minute in conversation. Then continue with the lesson. Together Reconciliation 11
3
STEP
Let’s dig in
We all have days when we wake up on the wrong side of the bed. We start off grumpy, and everything goes downhill from there. On those days we’re not very pleasant to be around. Wouldn’t it be great to invent something to make those bad days better? We could call it Fix-a-Friendship. Let’s learn about why those bad days are so hard to turn around and about God’s promise to help us. Turn to pages 5–6 in your child’s book and read aloud “Stuck Along the Way” and “God’s Promise.” These sections talk about original sin, reconciliation, and Savior, terms also explained in your family guide glossary. After you read these pages, continue the lesson: God promised us a savior. This savior would help people repair their friendship with God. Do you know who this Savior was? (Jesus) God loved us very much to send us his Son, Jesus. By
4
STEP
1.
Saying you’re sorry
2. Repairing what went wrong 3. Trying to do better the next time
Here’s an example: Pretend I borrowed your bike and I broke it by being too rough. Time for some Fix-aFriendship! First: I say I’m sorry. Second: I have your bike repaired. Third: I take better care of your bike the next time I borrow it. When things go wrong, a little Fix-a-Friendship can reconcile you with your friends. It can reconcile you with God, too, through the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
Let’s pray
Engage in your family prayer ritual. Friendship isn’t always easy, is it? Sometimes we just don’t get along. But forgiveness helps. We can say we’re sorry, and we can forgive our friends.
12
dying on the cross, Jesus made up for sins and reconciled us with God. We could all be friends with God again. We can try some Fix-aFriendship in our own lives. When things get off track with our friends, we can reconcile ourselves. There are three important ingredients in Fix-aFriendship:
God always forgives us. And he’s always ready to be our friend. Let’s tell him thanks for his friendship. Turn to pages 8–9 in your child’s book and choose one person to be the prayer leader.
Or you may use your own words to offer thanks to God for giving us grace, sending us a Savior, and welcoming us back when we have sinned. Close by praying the Lord’s Prayer.
God Calls Us Friends
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~ pg 12 ~
LoyolaPress.
PDF Revision: 1/14/11
1/14/11 10:42:27 AM
Ideas for Living the Lesson Complete as many of the following activities as you and your child desire.
Friendship Field Day Do Friendship is a skill that requires practice. It calls for negotiation, empathy, humility, strength, love, and the ability to forgive and be forgiven. Give your child a chance to practice these valuable lifelong skills. Coordinate with neighborhood or classroom parents to host a Friendship Field Day. Plan games that promote qualities necessary for strong friendships or that require teamwork, such as a relay, a tug of war, or a skit. For an array of suggestions on how to plan and carry off a Friendship Field Day in your neighborhood or at your next family gathering or reunion, go to www.loyolapress.com/friendship.
God’s a Great Friend You will need yarn or embroidery thread in three different colors clear nail polish
Do Friendship bracelets can be a great reminder of your friendship with God and with others. The three colors of this friendship bracelet symbolize the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Cut three equal pieces of yarn or thread, long enough to go over the wrist, plus four inches extra to make braiding and knotting easier. Holding the three pieces together, tie one end into a knot. Secure with a dab of clear nail polish. When the polish dries, braid the three strands until the bracelet is long enough to go over the hand and wrist easily. Grasp the three pieces together at the loose end and tie a knot around the first knot, forming a loop for the bracelet. Secure with another dab of clear nail polish and trim the excess from the strands.
In Another’s Shoes Do Empathy is the understanding of others’ perspectives. Present your child with the situations below and ask him or her to describe or draw the feelings of the people involved. ■ A
boy saved his weekly allowance to buy a double-scoop cone from the ice cream truck. He looked forward to his treat all week. When he heard the bells, he went to the curb and bought the cone. Before he could even take a lick, though, the ice cream fell off the cone. Plop! It hit the ground. How do you think he felt?
■ A
girl had practiced for her piano competition for months. She learned a difficult song, and she played it over and over until she could perform it perfectly, even as her friends were having fun outside. At the piano recital, the judges named the third-place and second-place winners as she held her breath. Suddenly, they called first place; she had won. Can you imagine how she felt?
■ A
husband and wife spent a whole weekend planting shrubs and flowers in their front yard. It was hot and dirty, and they were very tired when they finished on Sunday evening. But they were pleased too. The yard was beautiful. They went inside to get a drink of water. When they looked out the window, however, they saw the neighbor’s dog digging up all the fragile flowers they had just planted. What do you think they felt like then? Together Reconciliation 1 3
GOD’S GIF T RECONCILIATION
NOURISH YOUR FAITH
TOM McGRATH
TOGETHER
PR EPA R I N G AT H O M E F O R FI R ST R ECO N C I L I AT I O N UNDERSTANDING YOUR CHILD’S
MORAL
DE V ELO PMENT
Catholic
FACTS
ACTIVITIES TO HELP
Easy-to-use online resources
TEACH
www.loyolapress.com/retreat
THE CATHOLIC
With this free 3-Minute Retreat, experience soothing music, a daily Scripture verse, and reflective thoughts and questions to prepare your heart and mind for the busy day ahead.
FAITH
www.loyolapress.com
FAMILY STORIES
Practical articles. Fun activities. Helpful answers. At www.loyolapress.com, you’ll find a variety of relevant resources to help your family engage in a deeper friendship with God. From stories about the saints to facts about the sacraments, from traditional prayers to contemporary Catholic topics, you’ll find it all at one convenient site!
ISBN-10: 0-8294-2656-6 ISBN-13: 978-0-8294-2656-4
3441 N. Ashland Avenue Chicago, Illinois 60657 (800) 621-1008 www.loyolapress.com
plus Tips for Living the Lessons