G o d ’s G i f t
Tom McGrath
TOGETHER Reconciliation
Preparing at Home for First Reconciliation c_4116_GG_Mag_Rec_Eng.indd
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SESSION One G ROWN U PS
God Calls Us
Friends
8 SESSION 1 God Calls Us Friends
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day after homeroom, a sophomore lingered
G ROWN U PS
Years ago I taught high school religion. One
life
lesson
in his seat after the bell rang. “What’s up, Chris?” I asked. He hemmed and hawed and then confessed what was bugging him. His best friend, Edgar, had invited him on a family trip to a local amusement park. The two of them were excited and talked about all the rides they’d go on, the food they’d eat, and the girls they’d undoubtedly meet. “So what’s the problem?” I asked. “When I got there, I kinda ditched my friend,” Chris replied. “Kinda?” “Well, yeah, I saw some guys I knew from my cousin’s neighborhood, and I joined up with them because they were having a blast.”
“How did that work out?” “Not so good. When I came back to hang out with Edgar, he wouldn’t even talk to me. I knew I hurt him bad. I was a pretty lousy friend. It was a long, long car ride home.” In religion class the next day, we studied Adam and Eve and the effects of Original Sin. I asked, “How does this play out in our lives today?” Chris raised his hand and said, “What Adam and Eve did was like ditching a good friend.” As he said this, he looked over at Edgar, who just stared straight ahead, refusing to turn his head. It took months for the two of them to reconcile. ■ — Tom McGrath, author of Raising Faith-Filled Kids, Loyola Press
Pray for Your Family God, help us to be open to the grace to let go of anything that would break our friendship with you or others.
Reconciliation Together 9
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G ROWN U PS
YOUR CHILD’S MORAL DEVELOPMENT: Empathy
How does a child learn right from wrong? Most experts believe that moral emotions, such as empathy, admiration, and selfesteem, as well as anger, shame, and guilt, are natural emotions that are present at a very early age. Your job is to help nurture your child’s ability to access and manage these emotions. In this chapter, we look at empathy, the ability to comprehend and imagine life from another’s perspective. It’s the ability to “walk a mile in another’s shoes.” Children show signs of empathy early on; it’s not unusual for the crying of one infant to set off a chorus of wailing among other nearby infants. Your child is old enough to be aware of how others feel and that each person may have different responses to the same situation. Try these ways to help fine-tune your child’s sense of empathy:
1
Regularly invite your child to imagine being one of the characters in a book, TV show, or video. Ask, “What would you do if you were there?”
2
Stop your child if he or she is being cruel. Review the situation together and imagine how the other person feels.
3
Talk about situations in your life at work and your child’s life at school that call for empathy and compassion.
4
Make it a clear expectation that sharing is part of life in your family.
5
If your child has special needs, it might be especially difficult for him or her to recognize how others feel just by the look on their faces. It is important to point out to them how our expression changes to reveal our feelings.
Catholic Fact The Immaculate Conception does not refer to how Jesus was conceived. It refers to the conception of Mary, who came into the world untainted by the effects of Original Sin.
One Family’s Story I was 12 and working at a store. I decided that I wanted an item and didn’t want to pay for it, so I put it in a box and took it outside with the trash. After the store closed, I came to where the trash was kept to retrieve the item. To my surprise, the item was gone. The next day when I came to work, the owner of the store called me into his office. He had the item on his desk. I confessed to my crime. To my surprise, he forgave me, and I didn’t lose the job. He became my mentor. I never stole again; but more important, I learned to be more compassionate toward others.
—Deacon Juan F. Lezcano, SFO, Federal Way, Washington, D.C. Read more family stories at www.loyolapress.com/godsgift.
10 SESSION 1 God Calls Us Friends
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Learn
G ROWN U PS AN D KI DS
Together Follow Steps 1 to 4 to work through Chapter 1 of God’s
Gift: Reconciliation. This chapter helps us learn that because God loves us, he sent his Son, Jesus, to save us.
Step 1 3-Minute Family Retreat Gather in a comfortable place. Ask everyone to stand and take three slow, deep breaths. When all are ready, invite them to have a seat and close their eyes. Slowly read aloud the following meditation: Right now, we are each going to think of our very best friends. Imagine spending time with your friend . . . Think about it: Where do you and your friend like to spend time together? . . . What do you do there? . . . What do you say? . . . Notice how you feel when you are with your closest friend. Pause for a moment. Friends are great, aren’t they? They bring lots of happiness to our lives. We have God to thank for the gift of our friends. And though you might not always think of him this way, God is your friend too. Open your eyes, and we’ll talk more about being friends with God.
Step 2 Let’s Imagine . . . . . . walking in the Garden of Eden with God. Think about the trees, the flowers, the cool breeze, the warm sun, and God by your side. If you could ask God anything, what would you ask him? If you could tell him anything, what would you tell him? What do you think God would say to you if you listened closely? We can have a conversation with our friend God for real! It’s called prayer. Not only do we talk to him, but we also listen. Have you ever had a conversation with God? What was it like? Discuss this for a moment. Then turn to pages 2–3 in your child’s book and read aloud the Scripture story “God’s Gift of Grace.” This recounts the story of Adam and Eve in Genesis 2 and 3. Next, discuss the following questions and, if your child has not done so already, complete the sticker activity: Adam and Eve had just one rule to follow in God’s garden. What was it? (Don’t eat the fruit on a certain tree.) What did Adam and Eve do when Satan tempted them? (They disobeyed God and ate the fruit.) What happened to Adam and Eve’s relationship with God after they disobeyed? (They turned away from God’s grace. They didn’t act as his friends.)
Sometimes it seems like it would be much easier to disobey than to follow the rules. Let’s talk about a time when we each felt tempted, but we stuck to the rules anyway. Spend a minute in conversation. Then continue with the lesson.
Reconciliation Together
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I’m Sorry.
G ROWN U PS AN D KI DS
Step 3
It’s Okay.
Let’s Dig In We all have days when we wake up on the wrong side of the bed. We start off grumpy, and everything goes downhill from there. On those days we’re not very pleasant to be around. Wouldn’t it be great to invent something to make those bad days better? We could call it Fix-a-Friendship. Let’s learn about why those bad days are so hard to turn around and about God’s promise to help us. Turn to pages 5–6 in your child’s book and read aloud “Stuck Along the Way” and “God’s Promise.” These sections talk about Original Sin, reconciliation, and Savior, terms also explained in the family guide glossary. After you read these pages, continue the lesson: God promised us a Savior. This Savior would help people repair their friendship with God. Do you know who this Savior was? (Jesus) God loved us very much to send us his Son, Jesus. By dying on the cross, Jesus made up for sins and reconciled us with God. We could all be friends with God again. We can try some Fix-a-Friendship in our own lives. When things get off track with our friends, we can reconcile ourselves. There are three important ingredients in Fix-a-Friendship: 1. Saying you’re sorry 2. Repairing what went wrong 3. Trying to do better the next time
Here’s an example: Pretend I borrowed your bike and I broke it by being too rough. Time for some Fix-a-Friendship! First: I say I’m sorry. Second: I have your bike repaired. Third: I take better care of your bike the next time I borrow it.
When things go wrong, a little Fix-a-Friendship can reconcile you with your friends. It can reconcile you with God, too, through the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
Step 4 Let’s Pray Engage in your family prayer ritual. Friendship isn’t always easy, is it? Sometimes we just don’t get along. But forgiveness helps. We can say we’re sorry, and we can forgive our friends. God always forgives us. And he’s always ready to be our friend. Let’s tell him thanks for his friendship. Turn to pages 8–9 in your child’s book and choose one person to be the prayer leader. Or you may use your own words to offer thanks to God for giving us grace, sending us a Savior, and welcoming us back when we have sinned. Close by praying the Lord’s Prayer.
12 SESSION 1 God Calls Us Friends
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G ROWN U PS AN D KI DS
IDEAS FOR LIVING THE LESSON
COMPLETE AS MANY OF THE FOLLOWING ACTIVITIES AS YOU AND YOUR CHILD DESIRE.
Enemy Pie YO U WI LL N E E D > Enemy Pie by Derek˜Munson > To obtain a copy of Enemy Pie, go to www.loyolapress.com and search “Pray Me a˜Story.”
God’s a Great Friend YO U WI LL N E E D > yarn or embroidery thread in three different˜colors > glue
In Another’s Shoes
Start a conversation with your child about how sometimes, all of a sudden, things change in our lives. A favorite teacher leaves, friends move, you get a little brother or sister . . . and our world is upside down. It might be difficult to believe that things will ever be good again. Discuss how the way we react will, in fact, determine the outcome. Read Enemy Pie by Derek Munson with your child, and talk about how it feels to be left out and to lose a best friend. Discuss how accepting the situation changes it. Role-play some of the situations in the book, and talk about how the story would have ended if they didn’t make “enemy pie”. Discuss how we can make our days better by making “enemy pie” for little disappointments, like when there is a sudden change of plans. ■
Friendship bracelets can be a great reminder of your friendship with God and with others. The three colors of this friendship bracelet symbolize the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Cut three equal pieces of yarn or thread, long enough to go over the wrist, plus four inches extra to make braiding and knotting easier. Holding the three pieces together, tie one end into a knot. Secure with a dab of glue. When the glue dries, braid the three strands until the bracelet is long enough to go over the hand and wrist easily. Grasp the three pieces together at the loose end and tie a knot around the first knot, forming a loop for the bracelet. Secure with another dab of glue and trim the excess from the strands. ■
Empathy is the understanding of others’ perspectives. Present your child with the situations below and ask him or her to describe or draw the feelings of the people involved. A boy saved his weekly allowance to buy a double-scoop cone from the ice cream truck. He looked forward to his treat all week. When he heard the bells, he went to the curb and bought the cone. Before he could even take a lick, though, the ice cream fell off the cone. Plop! It hit the ground. How do you think he felt? A girl had practiced for her piano competition for months. She learned a difficult song, and she played it over and over until she could perform it perfectly, even as her friends were having fun outside. At the piano recital, the judges named the third-place and second-place winners as she held her breath. Suddenly, they called first place; she had won. Can you imagine how she felt? A husband and wife spent a whole weekend planting shrubs and flowers in their front yard. It was hot and dirty, and they were very tired when they finished on Sunday evening. But they were pleased too. The yard was beautiful. They went inside to get a drink of water. When they looked out the window, however, they saw the neighbor’s dog digging up all the fragile flowers they had just planted. How do you think they felt then? ■
Reconciliation Together
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Nourish Your Faith Together Easy-to-Use Online Resources
www.loyolapress.com Find a variety of relevant, reective, informative, and fun resources to help you and your family engage in a deeper friendship with God. From practical articles, saint stories, and cool activities for all ages to sacrament facts, parent tips, and the popular 3-Minute Retreat (available in both English and Spanish), www.loyolapress.com has something for every level of faith formation.
ISBN-13: 978-0-8294-4116-1 ISBN-10: 0-8294-4116-6
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