MicroShifts: Transforming Your Life One Step at a Time

Self-Help / Motivational & Inspirational

Gary Jansen

$14.95 U.S.

Is it really possible to change my life— in ways that will actually last?

Jansen

How many times have we tried to improve ourselves—whether attempting a new diet, adopting a prayer practice, or assessing some of our long-held attitudes? We begin with the right intentions and the will to make it happen.

But after a while, the efforts fail and our enthusiasm fades.

Best-selling author of Station to Station

In MicroShifts, Gary Jansen acknowledges that change is often difficult.

Sometimes we feel too overwhelmed to even start, and in other cases this self-work seems like one more burden. Jansen believes he has an answer for this that he calls “microshifting”—small, incremental adjustments that gradually reshape our deeply rooted patterns.

Gary Jansen

is the author of The 15-Minute Prayer Solution and Station to Station and an editor who has worked with best-selling authors Deepak Chopra, Pope Francis, Michael Singer, and Rudy Tanzi. He can be found online at www.garyjansen.com.

ISBN: 978-0-8294-4536-7

microShifts

With a blend of masterful storytelling and dozens of practical tips, MicroShifts suggests simple, small changes across many aspects of our lives—everything from how we greet others to how we try to talk to God—to generate big results physically, mentally, and spiritually. If you are looking for steps to improve your life that are achievable, sustainable, and potentially life changing, MicroShifts is a powerful place to begin.

microShifts Transforming Your Life One Step at a Time

microShifts

Also by Gary Jansen The Rosary: A Journey to the Beloved Holy Ghosts The 15-Minute Prayer Solution Station to Station Life Everlasting

microShifts Transforming Your Life One Step at a Time

Gary Jansen

Š 2019 Gary Jansen All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations contained herein are from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright Š 1993 and 1989 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the U.S.A. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Cover art credit: hanohiki/iStock, Karlygash/Shutterstock Back cover author photo credit: Charlie Jansen ISBN: 978-0-8294-4536-7 Library of Congress Control Number: 2018962457 Printed in the United States of America.

18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 Versa 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

For Eddie and Charlie, always remember to live and love. Those two words are separated by one tiny vowel, but to do one wholeheartedly is to do the other.

Contents

Do Small Things in a Great Way .................................................. ix 1 MicroShifts................................................................................1 2 Remember Who You Are ......................................................17 3 Get Some Sleep ......................................................................23 4 Learn from Your Enemies .....................................................33 5 Make a To-Live List ...............................................................41 6 Cultivate Enthusiasm ............................................................49 7 Be Brave Enough to Have No Opinion ...............................61 8 Observe the Observer ............................................................67 9 Keep Prayer Simple ................................................................75 10 How a Few Small Words Can Change a Life .......................81

42 MicroShifts That Will Change Your Life for the Better .......87 The 28-Day MicroShift Challenge ............................................105 Acknowledgments .......................................................................107 About the Author ........................................................................111

vii

As you move through this life and this world you change things slightly, you leave marks behind, however small.

And in return, life . . . leaves marks on you. —Anthony Bourdain

Do Small Things in a Great Way If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet, how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.

—Fred Rogers

You fill me with awe.

Yes, you. I know that can be hard to read, but I mean it.

How can I say this without even knowing you? By the simple fact that you are alive in the here and now. You won the life lottery, my friend. And the odds of that lottery are pretty impressive. Something like seven billion to one.

Which means that there are about 6,999,999,999 people in the world who are not you. That’s a lot of folks who can’t think the thoughts you think or feel the emotions you feel. Ever try to picture what it’s like to be another person? I mean really leave your body and feel what your Uncle Lenny is feeling at ix

x

MicroShifts

any particular time? You can’t do it. It’s probably one of the reasons there is always so much strife in the world. It’s really hard for us to consider what it’s like to walk in another person’s shoes or understand why someone acts a certain way.

Maybe if we could jump bodies and minds and souls from time to time, we’d all be kinder and more patient toward one another. Maybe.

The good news, though, is this: You are unique. One of a kind. This is amazing. You have a better chance of winning a million dollars than you have of being you.

No matter what he does, every person on earth plays a central role in the history of the world. And normally he doesn’t know it.

—Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

So, congratulations. If you are reading this book, that means you are alive. Even if you feel less than alive, even if you’re in pain, even if you’re confused, or even if you feel totally alone, you have life. Right here, right now, you have life. Regardless of what people tell you or how they treat you, regardless of your race, gender, health, social status, whether you have green eyes or no legs or your nose has been broken two times and you resemble a Picasso painting—you are endowed with a heart and a soul. These two aspects of who we are, heart and soul, act as the opposite ends of a battery. Connect those

Do Small Things in a Great Way

xi

poles to a purpose—whether that purpose is simply breathing, crying to get a parent’s attention, learning to walk for the first time, scoring well on a test, becoming a dancer, or desiring to be a good parent—and a circuit is created. This is a powerful connection; life by its very nature is creative.

Life creates babies, beautiful art, inspiring music, energetic dance, thrilling prose, thoughtful poetry. Families, communities, and friendships are created through the miracle of shared life. When life encounters other life, there is a change, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. As the psychologist Carl Jung wrote, “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”

This book is about practical spiritual transformation. As a writer and editor who has spent over ten years not only working with some of the greatest spiritual teachers of our time—from popes to priests to nuns to gurus to scientists to self-help experts—but also searching in my own life for what St. Ignatius would call “God in all things,” I’ve come to see that everything has a spiritual component: our jobs, families, relationships, suffering, finances, health, emotions, disappointments, joys, and sorrows. This means that the love you feel for your spouse or partner is spiritual. The fear you have when you look at your bank statement is spiritual. An

xii

MicroShifts

unexpected pregnancy is spiritual. The anxiety you experience when you’re worried about your teenage son and his friends is spiritual, as are the sometimes rocky relationships you have with your friends and colleagues. It also means that there is a spiritual element to political conflict, social revolutions, the environment, and even the jerk at the supermarket who rammed his cart into the back of your foot and was rude to the tired checkout clerk. As St. Ignatius taught, the spiritual life isn’t something separate from everyday life: it is everything and everyone. Which means that even minor changes that you make to your exterior life—for instance, how much sleep you get or how you react to problems at home or work—can have an important impact on your deeper, inner life. And vice versa.

I have written this book in a way to make it accessible to all readers regardless of religious or spiritual backgrounds (or lack thereof ). Meaning, I have intentionally tried to limit the amount of “God talk” in these pages, though God is never far away from my intent (and let’s be honest, there is still lots of God in here). St. Ignatius, the muse for this book as well as the muse for just about everything I have ever written, believed that to experience a fulfilling life we need to seek the sacred in all things, even the small things that make up a life. From how we respond to a smile, talk to a child, or

Do Small Things in a Great Way

xiii

even how we treat our pets, God is always there, always present in all that we do and even what we don’t do. As someone who has tried to make Ignatian spirituality, or the spirituality of everyday living, a part of how I work and raise a family, I have seen the fruits of paying attention to the small stuff, especially the power in making small changes. This book encourages you to take a look at a few things you might take for granted and consider making small, simple, and incremental changes—something I like to call MicroShifts—that over time can lead to radical transformation in your mind, body, and soul. MicroShifting is not effortless, however. As with any sort of positive life change, the art of the MicroShift requires time and commitment. And, while I offer a number of practical tips, ideas, personal stories, and what I like to call “spiritual life hacks” to help you along, this book is really meant to assist you in pondering the great gift that is your life and seeing ordinary things in extraordinary ways. Ultimately, it’s about doing small things with great love. And all it takes are some small shifts in the way we look at everything around us.

1

MicroShifts A MicroShift is a small change in the way we do things, in the way we perceive life, in the actions we take, or in the way we understand our feelings and emotions.

There is a well-worn assumption that people don’t like change. But that’s really not true. No one wants change if that change is going to make life miserable. But if someone surprises us with a free trip to Paris, or the doctor gives us a clean bill of health after we’ve been struggling with an illness, or a friend forgives us for a mindless transgression on our part, well, that change feels pretty good. Bring on some change.

Still, change can be scary. I know. I’m one of the most frightened people in the world. I feel fear all the time. I’m afraid of failure, of disappointing others, of economic downturns, of losing my hearing, my hair, and my mind. I’m so 1

2

MicroShifts

afraid that I’m afraid of being afraid. I’m like Charlie Brown when his friend Lucy asks if he might be suffering from pantophobia, the fear of everything. “That’s it!” he exclaims, finally able to put a name to his ever-present sense of dread.

Even so, one thing I’m usually not afraid of is making small changes. They don’t seem as intimidating as making huge life shifts—such as switching jobs, moving to a new state, or undertaking a major home-improvement project.

Plus, small changes can help you feel better pretty quickly in day-to-day life.

Feeling run down? Then, a tiny B12 daily vitamin, about the tenth of the size of a penny, can boost your energy levels and clear the fogginess from your head. (I know, I’ve done it.) If you dump loose change every day into a giant, threefoot, plastic Coca-Cola bottle piggy bank, after a couple of years you could put a down payment on a car. (I know, I’ve done it.) Suspect that your boss doesn’t like you? Then, ask for a simple meeting to touch base and see what’s going on. (I know, I’ve done it.) And if you started with one push-up and then added one more push-up every day for the next year, by the end of the year you’d be a push-up machine. (I know, I’ve done it. OK, maybe I skipped a few days, but for the most part I stuck to this routine, and, while I don’t look like a body builder, I feel pretty good.)

MicroShifts

3

Small changes can also save your life.

I work in New York City, a busy, noisy, and aggressive place to say the least. Some years ago, I was walking north on Broadway and about to cross Forty-Sixth Street on my way uptown when a taxi came barreling down the street, blowing a red light at the intersection. Several people, including myself, had stepped off the curb a moment before, in anticipation of having the right of way. Strangely enough, time seemed to slow down as my intuition kicked into high gear.

(If you study flow states or what the psychologist Abraham Maslow called peak experiences, it’s not so strange at all.) I turned my head to the left and saw the yellow car speeding past all the other traffic and pedestrians on the sidewalks.

Everyone and everything seemed still except for the car. Just like in a movie, I yelled in a big, deep tone, “M O V E!” In less than an instant, a group of us collectively took one step back, and the taxi sped by, nicking my coat and the tip of my elbow with its side-view mirror. I wasn’t hurt, just startled.

All of us that day had avoided catastrophic injury, literally by an inch.

Well, that was almost ten years ago, and while I don’t think about the incident with the taxi that much anymore, I do ask myself the following question every day: Is there a small change I can make in my life? Do I need to take a step

4

MicroShifts

back, or perhaps a step forward? Is there a tiny shift that will help me live a more fulfilling existence? Can I tell my kids I love them just one more time? Can I kiss my wife just one more time before I leave for work? Can I give up my seat on the train when someone else is standing? Can I bring a bottle of water with me so that when I walk from Penn Station to Columbus Circle to get to work, I can give it to a homeless person? Can I take a deep breath when I find myself getting annoyed and silently give thanks to God for the ability to take a breath? Can I breathe more deeply? Can I silently bless a stranger and say a prayer for him when I’m walking to work?

These might not seem like big actions. But even so, they have the potential to affect, in profound ways, our relationships and how we appreciate life.

I call these small acts MicroShifts. Thinking in terms of subtle changes, small practices, and new ways of conceptualizing life can supply the power to invigorate your faith, jump-start friendships, overcome limitations, and help you feel closer to God and more fulfilled in your roles as husband, wife, parent, family member, colleague, and friend.

For years I’ve been talking about one specific MicroShift I like to call the power of 1 percent. This is what I mean: there are 60 minutes in an hour and 24 hours in a day. That

MicroShifts

5

means there are 1,440 minutes in a day. So, 1 percent of one day equals 14 minutes and 24 seconds, or a little less than 15 minutes. What would happen if we took just 1 percent of our day and dedicated that time to changing something in our life or helping the world around us?

We can keep the other 99 percent of our day to take care of our family, to work, to attend school, to study, to sleep, to hang out on social media, to watch cute kitten videos, or to post selfies. We can keep all that. But what are some small things we can do that could change our lives?

I share some ideas later in this chapter, but consider this: if you practiced the guitar, writing, or cooking for 15 minutes a day and did that consistently every day, by the end of the year, you would have invested more than 90 hours in whatever activity you chose. That’s almost 4 complete days. Imagine that for a moment. Think about how much time that is.

In some colleges, that’s an entire semester of class—just by setting aside a few minutes each and every day. I know everyone is busy, but just about all of us can find a quarter of an hour to do something that energizes us.

MicroShifting—the art of making a MicroShift—isn’t so much about doing something as it is about a way of being something. It’s a way of embracing our greatness—our life—and arriving at a more authentic understanding of

6

MicroShifts

success. Often, we’re told that success is about helping ourselves succeed, about what we can do to become smarter or more beautiful, or to get the edge over our competitors. It may surprise you to know that true success involves helping other people succeed.

If the day and night are such that you greet them with joy, and life emits a fragrance like flowers and sweet-scented herbs, is more elastic, more starry, more immortal—that is your success.

—Henry David Thoreau, Walden

Think of the best teachers, politicians, religious leaders, and family members in your life. Who stands out? It is never the people who live just for themselves. We think those people are super-selfish. Rather, the people who come to mind are those who have helped us flourish.

Think of all the people who have sacrificed their lives so that you can be here now. Not just your ancestors—your parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents—but people such as doctors, nurses, soldiers, factory workers, farmers, truck drivers, construction workers, engineers, waitresses, teachers, and men and women who developed vaccines and antibiotics. All these people sacrificed their time, their smarts, and their lives for us. Sure, many of them were making money and supporting families, but their lives were directed toward

MicroShifts

7

something bigger than themselves. At the end of the day, success is about many things, but one of the most fulfilling is the act of supporting others: feeding the hungry, giving water to the thirsty, clothing the naked, giving shelter to those in need, visiting the sick or people in jail, caring for the dying.

That list may sound familiar to some; it’s what Catholics call the corporal works of mercy.

Christianity is not the only spiritual tradition to recognize that our actions flow from who we are. The major religions have understood this for centuries. This is why change has to do with being—and why change is so difficult: our habits are deeply rooted. So, any lasting change must go to the source, to who we are. MicroShifting begins with these questions: What kind of person do I want to be? What really matters to me? And it begins with small practices based on our answers to those questions. I want my life to be about helping others, so the works of mercy fit my values and give me a good place to start my small changes.

Even while helping others, we can enjoy a fun and passionate life. We can—we should—care for ourselves as well.

But MicroShifts and the act of MicroShifting can help us redirect our attention to what matters to us most. Let’s try a little experiment.

8

MicroShifts

I want you to look up from this book and, without moving your head, focus your eyesight all the way to the left.

Then count to three and quickly shift your line of vision to the right. What happens? You end up with a radically different view of the world. That didn’t take much effort, right? As I write this, when I look left, I see the dining room of our home. My son is playing a game. When I look right, I see a big picture window, the world outside, and a stranger driving by in a car. Both of these worlds are happening inches away from and parallel to each other. These are just two different realities happening at the same time. Everything is connected—or, as the Franciscan priest Richard Rohr puts it, everything belongs. Sometimes we just have to shift our focus to understand this. Often a small change can lead to personal transformation, which can help us to help others and, in the process, bring a little more heaven to earth.

The trick, as always, is to keep it going. We can plant a tiny seed in the ground, but if we don’t help it grow by providing water, light, nutrients, and shelter from violent weather, it won’t grow. When we embrace doing something for a higher purpose, whether that’s God, our moms, or a friend—suddenly, whatever effort it takes doesn’t seem like effort at all. Instead, it feels like a blessing.

MicroShifts

9

Jesus understood the power of small acts, and he told this parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed that someone took and sowed in his field; it is the smallest of all the seeds, but when it has grown it is the greatest of shrubs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches.” (Matthew 13:31–32)

Even if my wife is busy getting everything ready to take our sons to school as I’m dashing off to the train, I can take an extra second to express my love for her. Even if the grump I gave my seat to on the subway doesn’t thank me, I know that I did the right thing by getting off my butt. Even if the homeless guy was looking for whiskey, I know that the sandwich I gave him will help him through another day. Just think, this person, dirty and wearing rags, was once a child. Someone held that baby and fed him. He grew up to be a boy who might have liked to play baseball or liked to watch snow fall.

Maybe his parents died. Maybe the boy was abused. Maybe he is mentally ill, struggling every day simply to survive. We have no idea, but acknowledging his humanity is necessary, even if on the surface of things it seems that our efforts are fruitless.

10

MicroShifts

All these actions take very little effort, but they can truly save your life or the life of someone else. And by life I don’t mean merely saving your skin but also saving the essence of who you are—that is to say, your soul, the inexplicable part of you that makes you who you are. By saving your life I mean shaping your life, living with character and principles and a sense of purpose, even if that purpose is as simple as wanting to help make the world a better place by being polite to people and kind to puppies.

Imagine this for a moment. You’re in a cemetery. It’s a pretty place: big trees, green grass, and a lot of tombstones—small stone monuments, signs of lives that have come and gone. You read the names. You look at the years, their births, their deaths. Most people lead a long life. But you see some teenagers and some children who died seemingly before they got a chance to really live. As you walk around, you come upon a marker that has your name on it.

How does it make you feel to look upon your name? Did you live for important things? Did you live for others? Did you treat people fairly? Were you compassionate? Merciful? Who cares if you made a lot of money—but did you say thank you to the waiter who served you breakfast or the woman behind the counter who made your coffee? Did you spend time with the people you love the most? Did you give them

MicroShifts

11

your attention? Did you give strangers a smile or did you just pass them by every day? Did you help people in need? Did you pray? Did you sing? Did you laugh and dance and joke around with people without making them feel insecure? Do you have regrets?

Our time on this earth is limited. We know this, but, understandably, we don’t focus on our own transience unless it is absolutely unavoidable. Every day above the ground means that we’ve moved one day closer to an eternity below the ground. Many of us hope that eternity also means infinite time in heaven, but let’s leave heaven out of the discussion for now.

Anyone who has children will tell you that a year is not a very long time. Children are born, and then they grow up.

Fast. One day you look across the holiday dinner table, and that baby you cuddled in your arms, that son who at the age of three sat by a window watching snow fall, is all grown up and has a family of his own. As the old saying goes, the days are long, but the years are short (especially when you hit middle age).

But no matter where you are in the cycle of life, you can make small changes to help you appreciate the time you have left. Small individual changes can keep anxiety at bay, improve your sleep, help you think smarter and love

12

MicroShifts

better. And when combined with the small shifts of others, your seemingly minor adjustments can ultimately calm and change our harried world for the better. As the author Howard Zinn wrote, “We don’t have to engage in grand, heroic actions to participate in the process of change. Small acts, when multiplied by millions of people, can transform the world.”

Look at it this way: You + a MicroShift = Big Results.

Throughout this book, I look at small but important shifts that can help us live with more passion, joy, and excitement, which ultimately leads to feeling energized and inspired. As a consequence of these good feelings, whenever we are not blinded or stunted by self-consciousness, fatigue, or anger, we can do some serious good. Along the way I offer practical ideas to put some of these ideas into place.

Ways to Change the World in 15 Minutes or Less

• Research various nonprofits (easy to do on the Internet) and find one that appeals to you. Then take action by donating either your time or your money to that organization.

• Make a sandwich or box up leftovers from your meals and offer these to a homeless person you pass along the way to work or school.

• Plant flowers and cultivate a prayer garden in your backyard.

• Read Dr. Seuss, the Bible, or The Lord of the Rings aloud to your children, your nieces and nephews, or a shut-in.

MicroShifts

13

• Walk an elderly neighbor’s dog or commit to taking the neighbor’s garbage bins in and out each week on trash pickup days.

• Use a small notebook or a note-taking app on your phone to create a prayer list, and then pray for the people whose names are on that list.

• Set an alarm on your phone that sounds every afternoon.

Then take time to meditate, or at least take a few moments to sit silently. Instead of a coffee break, try a mind break.

• Call your mom. OK, I’m sure some of you are saying, “Look here, Jansen, I can’t talk to my mom for 15 minutes a day.

You don’t know my mom.” Maybe so, but maybe you could give your mom (or your grandmother or mother-in-law) a half of 1 percent of your day. After all, these women gave life to us and to the people we love most.

Don’t have 15 minutes? Try these MicroShifts you could do in about 7 minutes a day:

• Keep a gratitude journal and list daily a few things for which you are thankful.

• Write a letter to a soldier serving overseas.

• Collect and organize gently used baby clothes and redistribute them to new parents.

What’s that you say? You’re so busy that 7 minutes is too much? What about 3 minutes? Better yet, what are some MicroShifts you could do in just 1 minute every day?

• Allow someone to go ahead of you in the checkout line.

• Silently bless a stranger or strangers on the street. I walk a mile and a half to work every day through the streets of New York. In a single minute, I can bless a lot of people.

14

MicroShifts

• If you’re having a bad day, pray that another person has a great day.

• Rub a puppy’s belly. That makes everyone happy.

Still too busy? OK, here are some mini-MicroShifts (but still important ones) you can do in just 10 seconds:

• Decide to forgive someone. Sometimes making that initial decision is the most you can do, but deciding to do it is a big start.

• Laugh.

And if you’re still too busy and only have a second to spare, well, in 1/60th of a minute you could:

• Close your eyes and pray the words, “Thank you.”

• Tell someone in your life, “I love you.”

MicroShifts

MicroShifting Today To start MicroShifting, decide to dedicate 1 percent of your day to doing something you really want to do for yourself or for another. Maybe you want to learn a new language, play the oboe, run a marathon, or spend quality time with a family member or pet. Or maybe you want to spend more time with a loved one or help an elderly friend organize her apartment. Pick something you love or something new to do and then make an initial commitment of 15 minutes a day to bring it to fruition.

If necessary, set an alarm on your phone to go off at a specific time as a reminder.

Choose to become 1 percent kinder, funnier, cheerful, grateful, hopeful, confident, or loving. Set aside 15 minutes a day during which you intentionally focus on making positive changes to your behavior and outlook.

It might mean learning some jokes or even practicing improv and trying out some of your material on friends just to lighten the day. It could mean setting a goal to eliminate negative self-talk by making daily incremental changes in how you view or talk to yourself. Whatever you choose to do, set aside a dedicated period of time to enact change throughout the week.

15

2

Remember Who You Are Have you ever experienced a dark night of the soul, a time of spiritual isolation during which you felt utterly disconnected from God? I know firsthand that this feeling can last not just a night but days or even years. It can be debilitating. Not all spiritual crises are that extreme, however. Sometimes we just don’t feel like praying. Other times we feel stressed and retreat into ourselves. When these moments arise, what can we do?

In recent years, I’ve become fascinated by the study of inflammation, our body’s attempt to protect itself from invading pathogens, bacteria, and viruses. Though inflammation gets some bad press, there is another way of looking at it. The fact is, inflammation can be a good thing. For example, if you fall on the ground and scrape your knee, your body reacts instantly to protect you. White blood cells rush 17

18

MicroShifts

to the scene of the accident like super-fast emergency workers. Once there, they release chemicals to keep harmful substances from entering your bloodstream. That red, irritatedlooking area surrounding your cut is inflammation doing its job. Without it, our bodies would not heal.

However, if inflammation becomes chronic, we’re in trouble. What that means is that something happens inside us that tricks the body into thinking that we are always under attack, even when we aren’t. Our bodies are continuously in defense mode. Imagine a knight swinging his sword at an enemy who isn’t there. Over and over and over again, he attacks a threat that does not exist. That’s what happens inside when we produce chemicals we do not need at a given time. Our bodies turn on themselves, attacking normal tissues as if they were foreign bodies. This overreaction can cause cancer, arthritis, heart attacks, and autoimmune diseases. Again, picture that same knight, only this time he’s so frustrated at the absence of a target, he chops off his own hand.

We don’t completely know why chronic inflammation happens, but genetics, our reactions to stress, a lack of sleep, and poor diet all appear to play a role.

What’s this got to do with a person’s spiritual life?

Remember Who You Are

19

Just as our bodies act against injury by producing inflammation, our souls react to stress with patterned responses. We become anxious when a loved one is sick. We feel irritated after an argument. Insomnia develops because we’re having problems at work. Our feelings and emotions are natural responses to the spiritual breaks, cuts, bruises, and threats we experience. They alert us when something is wrong.

Problems arise when those emotional and spiritual reactions turn chronic. Anxiety, fear, and stress take charge even during what should be down time. Few of us want to deal with these emotions, so we bottle them up and try to push them down as far as we possibly can. But repressed feelings can lead not only to a dark night of the soul but also to arthritis of the soul. This makes our minds become rigid and our hearts harden. We fall into inertia, laziness, and depression, which prevent us from loving God and those around us.

Caring for your soul can be difficult to do if you’re exhausted from a newborn who refuses to sleep, suffering from chronic disease, have recently experienced a setback at work, or simply feel fed up with the daily stresses of twentyfirst-century living. When times like these arise—when your soul is raw and inflamed—try to remember who you are.

Sometimes the best way to do this is to find something you love or once loved to do. Maybe it’s reading, making soup,

20

MicroShifts

working on a car engine, exercising, or spending some relaxing time with people you love. Moving your body, stimulating your mind, and engaging in conversation might not sound like a way to ward off spiritual inflammation, but what these acts do is to help you recover a feeling of possibility and connection. Often our souls just need a reminder that our lives are bigger than what we can sometimes imagine when we are tired or stressed out. Sometimes just going for an early morning walk is enough to spark our weary souls.

Other times, as we explore in the next chapter, we need a fullblown reset.

Connecting deeply to your identity has spiritual ramifications. To remember who you are is ultimately to remember that you are a son or daughter of God—that, regardless of where you are in life, what you’ve left behind, what mistakes you’ve made, or what decisions you’ll face in the future, you are connected to the One who defines who you truly are, now and forever.

Remember Who You Are

MicroShifting Today Today, remember who you are by remembering who you were and what you loved. Think back to when you were a child or a young adult or a new mother or father, and then spend some time with those memories. If you loved John Coltrane when you were working at your first job, then listen to Blue Train again. If you were a fan of The Great Gatsby in high school, then give it another read.

If you loved going to minor league baseball games with your dad, go to one if you can or, if possible, give your father a call to reminisce. Revisit your memories, not to dwell on the past or dig up old hurts but to remember what you loved. Try to draw a connection between those loves and who you are now. For example, how did the love you felt for your first pet influence the way you treat animals now?

••• St. Ignatius calls on us to seek God in all things. This includes you. Where is God present in you? In your day-to-day life? In your interests? In your doubts? Pick something you like about yourself or something you feel disappointed about and ask yourself where God is in this part of you. Set aside a few minutes each day during prayer or meditation to ask God to reveal his presence in that part of your life.

21

Acknowledgments A big thanks to all the good folks at Loyola Press, especially Vinita Wright, editor extraordinaire. You are a talented and beautiful soul, and you do so much for all of us writers who are rough around the edges. Thank you for making magic happen, and thank you for your encouragement and grace.

Sending so many thanks to my great friend and teacher Kimberly Snyder. Her inspiration is present in every page of this book. I thank you for all your support over the years.

Big thanks to Maura Zagrans, who read an early draft of this book and shared her thoughtful ideas and expert skills as an editor-at-large to help hone the writing.

Special thanks to Joe Durepos, Tom McGrath, Jennifer Stallone Riddell, Marla Maples, Anthony Destefano, James Martin, Deepak Chopra, Bob Marty, Angela Santomero, Mickey Singer, Steph D., Eric Hafker, Michael Stephenson, 107

108

MicroShifts

J. Ivy, Will Romano, Carie Freimuth, Harvey and Diane Bishop, Stephen Rossetti, and Steve Cobb for their generosity, friendship, and inspiration.

I also want to thank my mom, Roseanne Jansen, and my sisters, Annie, Julie, and Suzie, as well as Fran, JoJo, Lenny, Carie, Teresa, Rob, Tina, Vicky, Joey, and Lucy, for all their love over the years.

Finally, I want to thank my wife, Grace, and my sons, Eddie and Charlie, for being the loves of my life. I’m glad to share life with you.

Acknowledgments

This book is especially dedicated to my sister Maryanne Jansen for all her sacrifice and attentiveness to the lives of others.

109

About the Author Gary Jansen is the director of Image Books and an executive editor at Penguin Random House, where he has edited and published books by New York Times best-selling authors Pope Benedict XVI, Pope Francis, Deepak Chopra, Michael Singer, and Greg Kincaid. He is the author of the best-selling memoir Holy Ghosts: Or, How a (Not So) Good Catholic Boy Became a Believer in Things That Go Bump in the Night, The 15-Minute Prayer Solution, Station to Station, and Life Everlasting. His website is www.garyjansen.com.

111