Grad at Grad reflection by Jan Arcia (’12)

The following reflection on the Grad at Grad characteristic “Open to Growth” was delivered to the Loyola School community at morning assembly by Jan Arcia (’12) on Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Before I came to Loyola School, I never would have imagined that I would one day give a speech about being “Open to Growth.” I mean, I have always considered myself to be open, but I never thought I would give a speech in front of my whole high school. Before coming to Loyola, I had attended four different schools with four clearly different lifestyles, customs, and values. Attending so many different schools and living in so many different environments had always seemed like a bad thing to me; it always seemed as if I didn’t have a specific place in this world. At times, I felt I was not ready to experience the fullness of life. The truth is, though, that we often feel unprepared when we are challenged, and I had to overcome that and remain willing to experience and grow from hardship in order to find my place in the world. I had to attempt to remain Open to Growth during this epic adventure, for I knew that there would be no clear understanding of anything without doing so.

Loyola has directly presented me with opportunities to challenge myself. When I transferred into Loyola as a sophomore, the Christian Service program and the idea of having to do a set number of hours of active service scared me because I thought this would place a burden on my academics. I had also never been required to help others. In my experience of traveling to different countries, and sometimes staying in poor areas where resources were scarce, I had always found myself easily fitting into these environments.

For most of my life, I had been accustomed to living dual lives, with my parents being on almost opposite ends of the financial spectrum. Since they had gotten divorced when I was only two years old, I felt I was not directly affected by their split, but complicated and confusing dilemmas became more and more common as I grew older. While staying with my mom, I became friends with some of the most amazing people I have ever encountered, getting to know them purely for who they are, and not for what they have. Having very restricted opportunities to really go out and have “fun,” we made the most of what we had, which was playing sports, making hilarious jokes, and spending time with each others’ families and other friends. In each place I lived, my social life basically stayed on my block and my park. But I came to truly appreciate everything I have, because with my dad being fully capable of supporting my other siblings and me, I realized that what I have,

unfortunately many others in the world do not. In light of these experiences, I thought that I was almost completely aware of the daily misfortunes existing among the poor and needy.

However, I was wrong. Christian Service presented me with the extremes of reality. The program showed me that what I considered hard and difficult was really not much compared to other desperate situations existing in the world.

Upon arriving at Loyola, I was eager to make friends and meet new people; people who had diverse lives. I was coming from a school in which diversity and integration were not present. Being an Hispanic and European student in Garden City High School was not common, and I was pushed aside for having different values and interests. I experienced so much hardship during the first quarter that I told my dad that I wanted to transfer out.

However, he thought that this might have been some “stage” of my life during which I was just complaining about things. He told me that things would get better and that the other students would warm up to me because he thought I was a great kid. I trusted him, so I stayed, hoping I could eventually become more like the others. However, that didn’t happen because I realized if I became more like them, I would not feel comfortable with myself. I would feel as if I were abandoning my morals and standards. This all occurred after coming back from spending a year at school in Germany, living with my grandmother. I had done this to explore different lifestyles, meet people, and learn how to speak the fierce language that is German. As I have done at Loyola, I met people from different backgrounds and I became friends with the one person I still consider family. I went to Germany not knowing what to expect or what really to do, but I was willing to embark on an adventure, which it was.

Loyola has also been an adventure. When I look back at the retreat program, I now understand it as an excellent effort to help us step back from our everyday troubles, in order to reflect on our actions, thoughts, and relationships. But I did not always view it this way. When I arrived as a transfer student into sophomore year and heard that there would be an overnight trip with faculty, but without much technology, I was not very thrilled. I started off my retreat experience thinking this was just a mandatory thing for the school to do, simply because we call ourselves “Jesuit.” I almost felt the need to be resistant to absorbing and taking in what the faculty and retreat leaders offered to us. Throughout these years, though, my attitude about each retreat has changed, becoming more serious and open to following the rules and guidelines. As I started feeling more comfortable with the people in my grade, I became more confident and able to speak my mind and participate

in discussion with our large group and smaller groups during the retreat. This good change is not sheltered within the walls of our school, but can be carried out in the upcoming years, as a basis to truly find the good in people.

Loyola has presented me with many opportunities – first of all, giving this talk to my fellow students, who still have their whole lives ahead of them. Loyola’s ideals and Grad at Grad values have offered me a different way of viewing the world. Never before in my life had I seen people of all backgrounds really working and living for others. There have been countless times when I was shocked to see how many people were going on a Camden Service trip, Brownbaggers, Teach‐ins, and even doing extra hours for Christian Service.

Several times, I asked my very good friends what they were doing on the weekend, and they answered, “I’m going on Camden.” Having totally different perceptions of them, I frankly did not expect them to participate much in this program. I then learned not to judge others, even my friends, regardless of good or bad intentions.

Because of my year of study in Germany, I am a year older than most of the people in my grade. When I came to Loyola, I therefore sought to become friends with those who were my age in the grade above me. While this might not have been completely intentional, it was natural. Therefore I ended up becoming great friends with several people in the class of 2011 and spent most of my school year with that grade instead of my own. But I always kept in the back of my mind the fact that they would be graduating a year before me; first of all, though, they would have the senior section before me! This seemed like the first wall between our already existing friendships. So during the summer after sophomore year, I built up my relationship with those in my grade, and I am very glad that I did so, for I have met some truly wonderful and different people.

It is natural for us to want to be loved or liked by others, to develop friendships and relationships; however, at Garden City High School I had felt I needed to abandon this desire. The only way I could have been accepted was if I had changed who I was, and I wouldn’t do that if my life depended on it. So I came to Loyola with big hopes but not much confidence. Confidence is one of the most vital attributes in one’s life and the students and faculty at Loyola try to make it so that even the most insecure person can feel comfortable and initiated into our loving community. Singing together at mass, saying prayer together every single day, and having retreats for each grade bring us together as a community.

Through these activities, Christian Service, and our varied studies, we Loyola students really are becoming more open to growth, whether we notice it, or want to realize it, or not.