Alexandra Ciobanu '13 Grad at Grad Reflection

The following Grad at Grad reflection was delivered at morning assembly on February 28, 2013

by Alexandra Ciobanu (’13). A Loyola student is becoming move loving.

Last week I was approached by a smiling Ms. Baber who asked for some of my time.

When she asked me if I wanted to give a speech on becoming more loving I was both thrilled and extremely nervous. While I believe in trying to spread happiness and love to my peers, even if it is through small acts of giving hugs or saying the words “I love you,” I’ve never really stopped to try and put into words what love is.

When I think of the word loving, I think of my family, friends, and Loyola. In my senior year I’ve come to realize that those three words are synonymous. Loyola has provided a loving community of students and faculty, and has made me feel warm and welcome. The students here have become my friends, and consequently, my family. Although I have developed very meaningful relationships, I find it difficult to express exactly how deep this love is on my own.

According to the Grad at Grad description of being loving, someone who is loving “develops more personal relationships with the ability to be themselves and capability to cherish the other people.” Throughout my time at Loyola, friends some of whom are now alumni and colleagues within the wonderful senior class have enabled me to wholeheartedly feel that I can trust everyone in the Loyola community. I feel I can trust each one of you with my life. Before coming to Loyola I didn’t have as much trust in my classmates; my trust only extended to my immediate family. I had been taught to be careful who you put your trust into, so I needed to know someone for a long time in order to feel like I could trust them. In freshman year I had no idea what my new classmates would be like; one of the first experiences that allowed me to learn to trust the people around me was meeting Tatiana. She had no idea who I was, yet she bounded

right up to me with a smile, introduced herself, and made me, a shy and quiet girl, feel like a part of the community. As time went on I came to realize how funny, smart, and caring the students here are. Even the older students back then made me feel more welcome, and I felt comfortable enough to talk to teachers. This development of trust has allowed me to trust people outside of the school’s community as well. I can now trust the new people that will come into my life even before I’ve met them. I can see positive intentions and better follow Ignatius’ presumption of goodwill and give the benefit of the doubt more to new people in my life.

Because I am learning to become more loving I want to try and help the people I love to be happier. While I understand the impossibility of making everyone happy, I’ve been trying to become more empathetic. I want to be able to realize when someone feels sad or worried so I can help alleviate their stress. Throughout my experiences at Loyola I have learned how to become more empathetic by listening to my friends. Even if I haven’t personally been through what they are going through, I can understand their grief and become a more personal listener. I think this feeling of empathy can help enable us to cheer people up, but of course there will be times when we can’t make things better. What matters most is that we show how much we care as a means to support the people around us. While I am learning to become increasingly empathetic, I am challenged to develop more patience, as well as a more positive mentality. In order to become more understanding, I want to develop the ability to give others a brighter outlook so they can feel better, and so I can provide support and comfort by letting them know I care. One of the best teachers I have for nonverbal communication is my horse Maro. Since animals cannot talk, I need to be more sensitive and responsive to find out and fulfill those needs that go unspoken.

This sensitivity can be further developed to help me be more in tune with how other people may be feeling.

Of course, the easiest way to become more loving is by experiencing love. Everyone here has had love given to them by another. This love can come from a person, animal, or even nature. One aspect of love is support. I have learned to become more loving by personally experiencing support from members of the school community. I could stand up here for hours describing how much support I’ve gotten from the senior class alone, but instead I’ll describe how I received this support.

Loyola in my eyes is a loving community that reaches out. Support can come in small forms such as a smile or a hello. These little interactions make my day brighter and show me others’ care. Whenever I am feeling sad or unhappy I can always talk to my friends of even some of my teachers who give me comfort and reinforce my self-worth. The humor and generosity of my friends’ personalities make me experience love when I’m feeling fine as well.

I have also received support through the Peer Leaders program. I had doubts about applying for Peer Leadership because I didn’t know what I could offer besides being a good listener. I decided that if I could make a difference to at least one freshman then it was worth it.

Just by being a Peer Leader I have gotten support to be myself and to show love to the newest members of the Loyola community. Through Coffeehouse I received support from Daniel and Juliana to act on stage and be less afraid of going up in front of a crowd. Various retreats such as Kairos and the Peer Leader retreat gave me support spiritually as well. There are times when I feel lost and further away from God but I am learning to see God through my peers. At Kairos I learned how some of my classmates think and see the world and on the Peer Leader retreat we thought about improvements with a fun and loving atmosphere. On these retreats I almost felt like I was in a different world. I remember thinking to myself how I don’t want this to end.

However, I got support to accept that sometimes good things will end, but new experiences will be waiting. I feel very thankful for God’s will to let me meet all of these people at my young age.

I want to continue trying to become more loving so I can give this love to the people I meet. I hope to make a positive impact on people’s lives. Thank You!