Emma himes becoming more open to growth

A Loyola Student is Becoming More Open to Growth Assembly Talk, 12/6/16 Emma Himes, ‘17 Academically Excellent, Open to Growth, Religious, Loving, Committed to Doing Justice, and Globally Competent. Since I am a senior at Loyola, I have heard 30 talks about how a Loyola student should exhibit these qualities by the time of graduation. As I listened, there was always one that stuck out to me in particular – Open to Growth. Now it is my turn to deliver a speech on my high school experience in which I will attempt to explain how this quality has affected my life and make a few jokes that you will all politely chuckle at.

In my Philosophy and Global Literature class this year, we were studying happiness and how different countries obtain happiness. I chose to study Iceland and when reading the Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner, I found a common thread among the residents’ thoughts on why Iceland is such a happy country. It is because they embrace the idea of failure. To me, the most important part of being Open to Growth is not being afraid to fail. The fear of failing is what keeps me from doing many things. I don't want to embarrass myself and let the whole world know what a mess I am.

Growing up, I used to do all the musicals at my school. This was because my friends would do them and it was a way to pass the time with them. While I always enjoyed practicing and performing in a show, the worst part was always the beginning. Auditions are the most nerve wrecking part of a show for me.

Standing in front of everyone, trying to show my skills to prove that I deserve a part, and having everyone judge my moves. I've never had an audition I've been proud of. I panic beforehand and overthink things to the point where I convince myself that I could never get a part. And in the beginning, the parts I received were always small. Whenever I had to sing my voice would be too quiet and crack; I would sit down with all my friends and feel discouraged. But it was ok because I was with close friends whom I already as a strong bond with. When I got to Loyola I didn't know anyone. And even by my sophomore year when I decided to audition for a play, I wasn't good friends with anyone whom I was auditioning with. I was incredibly nervous. Everyone seemed like they were having fun and were confident so I felt behind and left out. It wasn't any of their faults, they welcomed me in and were happy I was auditioning, but I was so afraid to let them down. I didn't want them talking afterwards about how that one girl was really bad at acting.

In the end I received a small part of a waiter who cries. But I was content, not wanting a larger part because then the pressure would really be on and I couldn't handle that. However, I took the part I had and ran with it, making sure that my crying was the best it could be. In the next show I also received a part on the smaller side – a maid with a Cockney accent who cried. For this show, I had to learn how to do an accent. I knew I wasn't the best with accents, so I was afraid to go all out. But I decided, if I was going to do it, I had to commit so I watched a lot of Downton Abbey to prepare. I was afraid to embarrass myself, but if I hadn't done anything then I wouldn't have been able to perform as well as I did. I had to continue challenging myself and embrace any challenges that came my way when auditioning and preparing for a role. When I was given criticism, I couldn't take that and become angry or see that as disappointing everyone, but rather as a way to grow because the people around me knew

I could make my part even bette. I learned a fake language for the next show and had to stutter. While this was difficult, I managed to pull it off. I never did manage, however, to do a simple jazz square while singing a song in a made up language. Despite many tries I never got it down, but that was ok. I learned that it was ok if the show wasn't perfect and my mom said my mess ups were endearing, so it was alright. I had to embrace that it wasn't the end of the world if everything I tried didn't work. I had a community to fall back on. If I didn't fail, I could never grow. Knowing that it's ok to fail has pushed me to be a part of things I never would have thought I could be good at.

When I think of a leader, I usually think of a strong commanding voice and someone who isn't afraid to go out and talk to people about what the next step forward should be, someone who can make choices and point others in that direction. I've never considered myself to be a leader. I'm quieter, I can't easily go out and make friends, and I have no idea what I'm doing so how I am suppose guide others? For a long time, I was content in my role of being a follower. If I stood to the side I wouldn't get in anyone's way. While I've never considered myself a leader, I do consider myself helpful. This led me to serve on the team for Freshman Retreat during my junior year. I wasn't in charge of a group, but I worked behind the scenes to help make the retreat run smoothly. This experience reminded me of my love for retreats.

This year I decided to help on the Junior Retreat. For my own Junior Retreat last year, we didn't have any senior leaders so I didn't really have a model to work off of. I knew I would have to be open to the challenge of both helping to run a retreat, as well as participating and opening myself up to people I wouldn't normally spend much time with. While I may have originally led my group astray – quite literally as I couldn't find the room we were supposed to meet in – I soon found my stride and was able to help facilitate discussion and learn from those I was helping to lead.

While I may not have been thinking that I was being Open to Growth at the time, at the end of junior year, I decided to apply to be a Peer Leader. I knew I wanted to help freshman feel more comfortable in a new setting and Peer Leaders was a fun way to do that. It didn't really sink in that this was a leadership position. When I got the position, I realized I would actually have to go out and interact with people. It took me long enough to feel comfortable to have honest conversations with my classmates, how was I supposed to do this with people I just met? I decided the answer was to give them candy to get them to like me, so with a great group I set out with the idea to not be afraid to speak out. I've really enjoyed Peer Leaders and I learned that being a leader involves both listening and not being afraid to put myself out there in our community.

I have found Loyola to be a great place to begin the journey of being Open to Growth. Freshman year I joined the basketball team and did that for two years. I had played on my middle school team which consisted of just me and four other girls and occasionally one who we would beg to sit on the bench in case one of us was injured. The change from a small team that would meet maybe twice a week, to a team I had to try out for and attend daily practice was a huge difference that initially scared me. I knew, however, that I wanted to be a part of the Loyola community, so I took that leap. Sophomore year I decided to join the play. During my junior year, I was approached to write an article for the newspaper so I decided to give writing a try. This year I joined the science club. And while I may not grow up to be an actress, a writer, a scientist or a basketball star, through all these activities I learned something about myself. I have learned how important it is to step out of my comfort zone because I never know the

good that could come out of it. I learned how therapeutic writing can be. I learned how to dunk. No, but seriously, I learned the importance of hard work and being aware of my surroundings. If I had been closed off to trying new activities I never would have been able push myself the way I have, made the friends I have, or become as confident as I have. Through knowing that it's ok to fail and to not let that stop me when trying to broaden my horizons, I've become a more confident leader and believe that this is an attitude that will follow me throughout the rest of my life. Thank you.