Grad at Grad Reflection by Dylan Hennessy ('15)

The following Grad at Grad reflection was delivered by Dylan Hennessy (’15) at morning assembly on November 8, 2013. “A Loyola Student is Becoming More Loving”

“Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.” In modern day language, “falling in love” has been associated with romance and relationships. Fr. Pedro Arrupe adopted this motto, however, in an effort to summarize his work with the marginalized and his attitude towards all people.

If this quote from Pedro Arrupe does not have to do with the love one shares with a boyfriend or girlfriend, what does it relate to? This idea directly relates to the work we do as Loyola students both within the walls of our school as well as at various service sites that we attend. To fall in love with the marginalized was a task that I found daunting as a freshman, and a task that many of you may find intimidating, too. The challenge lies within finding a way to use our many talents as adolescents and channel those talents into a positive method of helping the poor. In doing this, we are implementing what we may love or enjoy most and sharing that enjoyment with those who need it most.

When entering high school, many students don’t know where our talents may lie, so the work we do as part of our Christian Service program allows us to discover more about who we are and who we are meant to become. After recognizing our talents, we must search for a program or area that is in need of our assistance. In doing this, we are beginning the gradual process of falling in love with the work we must do with the marginalized.

YSOP was my first service event at Loyola. After leaving Loyola on the Friday before Christmas, I did not know what to expect when we arrived at the shelter downtown. I was petrified that I might mess up or not be able to complete the work

assigned to me. Encouraged by Mr. Bludgus to have no fear and approach our guests, I struck up a conversation with a man eating his dinner. After an awkward pause, I asked him if he knew much about soccer and soon learned he was a soccer fanatic. We talked endlessly about the previous World Cup and upcoming games as well. The conversation was so successful that the man did not want to leave! At least I knew I had made one friend in high school.

In a simple conversation, I had learned that a conversation with a hungry man at dinner could mean the world to him; it helped to teach me that an open conversation and an outgoing personality can lead to a more loving environment for those around me. This is something that I have remembered to this day and have implemented into my life here at Loyola. As a freshmen, I was nervous and shy in front of many upperclassmen. Now as a junior, I find it important to say hello to freshmen in the hallways and get to know them better, something that I appreciated when I was a freshmen. In doing this, we are creating more loving relationships across all grades of the school.

Falling in love with the work we do once or twice a semester as a freshmen, however, is only an introduction and a step on the road to becoming a loving man or woman for others. In order to stay in love we must set up a routine in which we consistently help those who are less fortunate, a routine whose preliminary stages are defined as our Christian service placements. After increasing our direct relationship with the marginalized, the actions we take every week at our service placements evolve into the actions we take every day of our life. Can anyone here today, say that he or she hasn’t encountered a homeless person less fortunate than ourselves? To many, seeing a homeless person while rushing to school or a game is a depressing image but also

something that makes people choose to look the other way when walking past them.

However, after falling in love with the work we do, we learn that in order to be more loving, we must overcome the tendency to look the other way. We ought acknowledge the homeless man or woman. This acknowledgment may be a “hello, how are you?” or even simpler – just a smile. This affirms that the person is significant to others and demonstrates how a little love may go a long way.

In order to become loving, we must learn how to become loving through a direct experience in our life. Loyola has given me many experiences that have shaped me into the person I have become as well as the person I aspire to be. I believe that my best friends, although they may not have noticed it, have taught me how to become more loving. In particular, I would like to recall one time about a month and a half ago when one of my mom’s best friends, one of my greatest mentors passed away very unexpectedly. Of course, when anyone close to your heart passes away, a difficult time begins. However, with the structure and people at Loyola, I was able to reflect on how great a person she was. Louis, Nick, and Mike were there for me from the get go. Having met Terry only once, for about two hours, did not make a difference to them. When they heard the news, they didn’t jump to the cliché response of “Oh, I’m so sorry for your loss.” Rather, we sat in silence for a couple of minutes, a time which allowed me to reflect on the many life lessons Terry had taught me. After a few minutes Mike broke the silence and began a discussion about the time in which he had met Terry and how great a person she was. The silence, which the four of us shared that day, taught me that to be loving does not always have to mean expressing that love verbally or even through the actions we take. Loving is a state of being, a state of mind. Sometimes all that is

necessary to be loving is our simple presence. Our presence is often enough to comfort the people around us.

Utilizing the lessons I have learned at Loyola through my friends and teachers, I have been able to complete my work with the marginalized in a more meaningful manner. These experiences have shaped my outlook to the work I do and have done. One of the most meaningful experiences came when I was on a service trip in Camden. While working at a thrift shop in the heart of Camden, I met many residents of Camden as well as volunteers from around New Jersey. The morning began with simple hellos and goodbyes to customers. One man, however, really made a great impression on me. He was very shy and spoke very little English. When I said hello to him, I received no response. He did, however, hand me a piece of paper that said “screws� on it. So I brought him to the aisle where the screws were kept. He found what he was looking for and smiled back at me. Without saying one word, he walked away with a huge smile on his face, a symbol of gratitude and satisfaction. Although I did not think much of helping the man, he greatly appreciated it. It was at that moment, I realized how much a simple smile could go a long way as it made my day.

"Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything." This motto was implemented by Pedro Arrupe, but is overlooked by many people today. In becoming a man and woman for others, we must first learn what love for our neighbor is. That love defines who we are and how we develop as a person. So I hope by implementing an outgoing and loving personality I can spread the love, which I have received from the Loyola School community in both the work I do in Christian service as well as among family and friends. Thank you.