Loving - Mr. Patrick Wareham, '16

Grad at Grad – “Becoming More Loving” Patrick Wareham, ‘16

When Ms. Baber approached me to share a Grad at Grad reflection at assembly, I couldn’t have been more thrilled. Moments later, I COULD have been more thrilled, for I was to write a speech not on becoming Committed to Doing Justice or Religious, or even Academically Excellent or Open to Growth. I would have to discuss how I have become more LOVING. Let’s face it, teenagers in our society are not seen as as the most loving individuals. In fact, for only ten dollars and eighty six cents, your parents can buy a copy of Parenting Your Out-of-Control Teenager: 7 Steps to Reestablish Authority and Reclaim Love. You may be sitting there thinking, “Hey! I am a very controlled and loving teenager.” That very well may be the case. However, my point is that becoming more loving is not always easy and can often be a difficult process. In fact, as I was struggling to write this speech this past weekend, following a solid two or three meltdowns, I experienced a bit of an awakening. I had been looking for that big, “AHA!” moment when, poof, I suddenly transformed into a loving kid. I realized that becoming more loving doesn’t usually stem from a single moment of enlightenment. Love takes time to develop, like sharpening a skill. With each passing day, we learn and grow from our experiences, in turn becoming more and more loving individuals.

Love is often mistaken as a simple concept, but in reality, it is very complex.

As the Apostle Paul tells us in his letters to the Corinthians, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts,

always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” In all of its complexity, love cannot be bound to the Merriam-Webster dictionary definition that love is “a feeling of strong affection towards someone.”

Love can be a difficult notion to grasp, but we see it all around us in our everyday lives here at Loyola. In a typical day, Mr. Oroszlany will shake your hand, happily greeting you at the door. You share a little head nod and smile with Mr. Martinez, Ms. Coop congratulates you on your performance, whether it was on stage, at the concert, or on the sports field. In the hallways, teachers always greet you by name.

In the classrooms, they put so much effort in enhancing the learning environment; after all, they are here because they are in it for us. For the Maroon and Gold Club student profile, my one word to describe my experience at Loyola was family. The intimacy of this school gives it a special identity, and I believe that Loyola’s size is its greatest asset. Over the course of four years, students and faculty are given the opportunity to forge strong, loving bonds with one another. These bonds result in more than simply mere coexistence, instead we thrive.

Becoming more loving embraces the concept of awareness, in both small communities and from the global perspective. It embodies self-awareness rather than self-absorption, realizing our influence on the people around us, whether it be positive or negative. My mom and dad have always placed an emphasis on positive attitude and effort rather than results. My mom’s favorite phrase throughout my childhood was “always hustle.” She wanted me in a full out sprint from the dugout to second base in little league baseball games. She wanted me to walk “with some urgency” down the aisle to receive my honor roll certificates. Even in the most

ordinary aspects of life, she instilled in me the desire to “seize the day,” work hard, and to “play proud.”

Part of the process of becoming more loving is developing empathy towards other people in situations that would be unfamiliar to us. Last weekend, I came across something that I thought would really apply to this speech. Like any other lazy Sunday morning, half asleep, I was skimming through the front page of the New York Times. The article discussed a wide range of stories relating to the rioting in Baltimore in wake of Freddie Gray’s death. I stumbled across the story of eighteenyear-old Carron Morgan, a cousin of Mr. Gray. A hard working young man who currently works at Foot Locker, Carron said he could not remember how long his mother has battled drug addiction while he grew up without a father figure in his life, as his dad has been serving a life sentence from the time Carron was 1. In addition to losing two brothers to inner city violence, Morgan recalled the time he was forced to miss his high school graduation, something he had always dreamed of and achieved for, because he was busy in court battling false charges of assault and robbery. There is a natural affinity to understand people who are very much like ourselves. Likewise, we can find it effortless to respond with compassion to helpless, innocent victims. The middle ground, just like in Carron’s case, is where it gets difficult. But when I think about my relationship with my mother and Carron’s relationship with his, it helps me to realize how complicated the world is. My experiences with the Loyola Christian Service program have taught me invaluable lessons to learn to develop sympathy and compassion towards those involved in complex and less nurturing situations than my own.

As Ms. Lehn reminded us on Monday, Love combines all of the facets of the Grad at Grad. Becoming more Open to Growth means we are ready to embrace new opportunities. Becoming more Religious means we are accepting our spiritual relationship with God. Becoming more Academically Excellent exhibits our pride in the quality and effort of our studies. Becoming Committed to Doing Justice encourages the awareness and appreciation for other people. Just like becoming more Loving, these principles are processes. As St. Ignatius once said, “Love is shown more in deeds than words.� Thank you.