Ms. Mary Ann Minson's '99 Grad at Grad Reflection

Grad at Grad reflection offered by Ms. Mary Ann Minson to the Loyola community on January 9, 2013. “A Loyola student is becoming more religious.”

“The Lord works in mysterious ways.” When Mr. Lyness asked me to speak about the Grad at Grad principle, religious, I couldn’t help but hear my mother’s famous quote. You will hear a lot about my mother in the next few minutes because she has been central to my faith formation my entire life.

Though extremely honored and humbled to have been asked, I must admit the irony of accepting the invitation to speak to you today as I have recently been in a period of exploring and questioning my faith, which has been challenged over the past three months, particularly in the past week after Michael’s passing.

This is not the first time I have questioned God and my faith and I’m sure it will not be the last.

My first memory of doing so began about two weeks before my freshman year here at Loyola.

My cousin, who is like a brother to me, was badly injured in a car crash and was left paralyzed from the waist down at only 19 years old. This accident was tragic for my family and very difficult for me as my cousin lived in Ireland and I could not be with him during this time.

My mother’s immediate response, like any good Irish mother, was to go to Mass and pray for John. For a period of time, out of respect to my mother, I did as I was told but I became increasingly angry with God. How could he have let this happen to such a good person in the prime of his life? How could he do this to my family? It was a very difficult time in my life and I turned my anger toward God. I didn’t stop going to Mass but my attitude about going was so terrible that my mother at one point told me not to go! Now, I don’t think you have to have an Irish mother to understand what I’m saying but it certainly helps – I WAS SHOCKED! The woman must be nuts I thought!

This same person who insisted that we go to Mass every Sunday as a family or not at all; eat fish on Fridays even when it wasn’t during Lent; attend Mass on every holy day of obligation; and go to funerals for people we may have met only once or twice had just told me NOT to go to Mass.

I couldn’t believe it.

I felt so badly about frustrating my mother to this point that I knew something was very wrong.

I sought advice from someone who I thought might have an answer – a priest! Isn’t it ironic that during a time where all I did was question God that I should turn to someone religious?

The priest I spoke to was actually our very own Fr. Sehler. I remember telling him how terribly I felt about the argument with my mother and how I didn’t want to go to Mass because of how angry I was with God. His response was simple – all people question their faith from time to

time. We should explore our faith – in fact, it often makes our faith stronger. Perhaps most importantly, Fr. Sehler made it clear that I was not a bad person for doing so and that God loved me despite it. I cannot tell you how much better I felt after our conversation and the burden that was lifted from me. I don’t think I ever properly thanked you, Fr. Sehler, so now I will – THANK YOU! I was much calmer after that conversation and continued going to Mass though experienced it through a different lens. It became a place of peace rather than just going through the motions and the traditional rituals I had known since birth. I began to reflect on my faith and my relationship with God. During my time as a student at Loyola I learned many things but the most lasting lessons have been learning how to talk to God and seeing God in all things.

Through theology classes and retreat experiences, especially the Kairos retreat, I realized that my faith wasn’t just about going to Mass. It was about my relationships with family and friends, life experiences (both good and bad), a commitment to service, and understanding that there is something and someone out there much greater than all of us.

After hearing my reaction to the above challenges, you may find it surprising to learn that I was a religion minor in college. The classes I took included Marriage, The Nature and Experience of Religion, Contemporary Catholicism, and Afro‐Caribbean Religions – my parents didn’t exactly understand why I took that particular course but I found it so interesting. In exploring Catholicism and other world religions, I became fascinated not by the differences between them but the MANY similarities. I also had the opportunity to take part in a weekend retreat my senior year of college. It became a time for reflection, questioning, and reconnecting with old friends while making new ones.

I should note that, looking back, being religious and being a woman for others worked hand‐in‐ hand throughout high school and college. Service was a central part of my education and something ingrained in me by my mother from an early age. I used to accompany her to DeWitt Nursing Home once a month on a Sunday where she was a Eucharistic Minister to those who could not attend the Home’s Mass. My mother also taught me the importance of giving back in all aspects of life not just through an organized service program such as Eucharistic Ministry through our parish. Whether it meant picking up groceries for a neighbor, visiting long‐time family friends, or writing a simple thank you note after an act of kindness, my mother made it clear that life is not just about us and our needs. We are part of a larger community – family, friends, church, neighborhood – and it is important to give back.

As I wrote these last few sentences, I noticed how aligned my mother’s teachings were with the Jesuits – I suppose it is no coincidence, then, that she sent me to Loyola! How blessed I am to now work here. It has been amazing to work in an environment where one is allowed to

worship and explore independently and as part of a group. I enjoy the times we gather together as a community for Mass and I relish moments of quiet reflection while on retreat.

Before I close, I have to include two other famous quotes my mother often says during difficult times: “Everyone has a cross to bear,” and “God will never give you more than you can handle.” It isn’t always easy to accept and understand these statements but the older I get, the more I appreciate them. My family and I, like everyone, have been tested at times but we also have an abundance of blessings. On April 4, 2010, I had the honor of experiencing my life’s greatest blessing when my daughter, Emma, was born. I am sure many of you know by now Victor Hugo’s quote from Les Miserables, “To love another person is to see the face of God.” Well, that statement became vividly true for me when Emma was born. When I was pregnant, I was challenged by a friend who took a more scientific approach to the conception of a child.

My response to them was to revisit the topic when their own child was born because there is no way you can look at that precious little face and nurture that life and not know that God had something to do with it.

As you can gather, my faith has been one of continued formation through life’s challenges and triumphs. Hindsight is 20/20 but I feel so lucky to have been raised with a faith. My parents knew the value of raising me with a belief system which my husband and I now try to impart on our daughter. I realize now that even during the most difficult of times, God was there for me even if I didn’t want Him or if I couldn’t see it. God was there during and after my cousin’s accident. Yes, he was severely injured but he survived and my family came closer together.

God was there for me and my family during Hurricane Sandy. Yes, this has been a difficult time for my family and likely will be for the coming months but we are safe and I will eventually have a house to go home to. The outpouring of support from family, friends, colleagues, and even strangers has been amazing. And God has also been there in the difficult days since Michael’s passing. I have felt and experienced His presence in our gathering together as a community.

God will continue to be there for me and for all of you.

“The Lord works in mysterious ways.” I feel so fortunate to be able to speak to you today. In many ways, I do not think it was a coincidence that I was asked to do this and thank Mr. Lyness again for the opportunity. It has been a healing experience to reflect on my faith and to be able to share it with you. We are blessed to be part of a community where faith formation is core to student and faculty development. I hope that during your time here, you will be open to exploring whatever your faith base may be and that you will learn to value what it means to be religious in your daily lives.