Religious
Sometime last summer I was driving in my car when I had a life-changing, even religious moment. No, it did not involve my quickly reciting a prayer after having been pulled over by the highway patrol (not that time anyway). There was no crash or fender bender. It was actually a news bulletin – something broadcast on that thing in the dashboard of the car we old people call ‘the radio.’ The news report was about a recent interview with the rock legend Bruce Springsteen that had appeared in the New Yorker magazine. Among other very personal insights and reflections offered by Springsteen in the interview, he revealed his personal battles with depression. According to Springsteen, “pure fear, self-loathing, and self-hatred” plagued him for much of his life. In 1982 he began seeing a therapist to help him understand his feelings and the complexities of his upbringing with a stern and violent father in a very dysfunctional family. He went on to say, “It’s the thing that eats at me and always will. Those wounds stay with you, and you turn them into a language and a purpose.” “My issues weren’t as obvious as drugs,” said Springsteen, “mine were different, they were quieter—just as problematic, but quieter. With all artists, because of the undertow of selfloathing there is a tremendous push toward self-obliteration.” Bruce Springsteen – the man, the myth, the legend, the boss -- felt worthless. All that money and all that fame and he still felt empty inside. Didn’t he have the things we are all supposed to be seeking in life? Why didn’t those accomplishments and material things take away his pain and help him to feel better about himself? Moreover, why did he choose to disclose these very personal and private experiences to the entire world in an interview? Very likely, it is because there is something magical, something spiritual, something truly religious that happens to us when we act authentically, truthfully, and honestly with other people. As members of a Jesuit school community, we strive to find God in all things, one of the primary ways of being ‘religious.’ In my own life, there has been no greater evidence of God than an honest conversation with a friend, family member, student, or colleague. Whether it is sharing the ups and downs of my own life or being privileged enough to be entrusted with the burdens, hopes, or fears of another, there is something very special that happens in this type of truthful exchange. As reflected by Jesus in St. John’s Gospel “If you remain in my word, you will truly be my disciples and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” How about you? Have you ever shared a personal problem with a friend or a relative or a trusted adult? Did a Loyola retreat, perhaps, provide you with an opportunity to communicate something personal that you had never entrusted to anyone before? How did you feel once you did? No doubt you likely felt better, lighter, and unburdened....or, at the very least, you felt that you were not alone....and, miraculously, you arrived at this place and this feeling without a drug or a drink. “We are only as sick as our secrets,” say those who gather in twelve step programs like Alcoholics Anonymous. For them, opening up to others on a daily basis takes the place of the substance to which they had been addicted – as they find God in communicating their personal struggles with the support of a loving community. For sure, opening up to others is not easy. Moreover, it is something that should be done carefully after much self-reflection. It took me until my own high school years to share a personal burden
and seek out the support and advice of a friend. The response proved to be precisely the words I needed to hear. To this day, those high school friends with whom I entrusted the personal challenges of my life remain very close to me. We are there for each other – many decades later - in good times and bad, as we lose loved ones, as their kids grow up and head off to college. High school counselor, teacher, rock legend, or student, there is something indescribable that happens to us when we act authentically and share a bit more of ourselves with one another. God is there I am sure. The next time you have a candid and unvarnished talk with someone or confide in a friend or empathically listen to the worries or fears of a loved one -- think about it. That stirring in your heart, that calming of your soul, can be explained. Yes, my friends, you will have found religion.
Mr. Thomas Hanley 1/5/15