ECHO | 回响

E C H O

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回

响

C h e n

L u

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陈

璐

Istanbul, Turkey 2 0 1 5

T o

M y

G r a n d f a t h e r

谨 献 给 我 的 外 祖 父

Mirrors · Moon · Sea T nd · i de o P ow · Clock · Sum ll · n S e · r mer ai W eH r· Tim hit ve i s W e· R d· tain M n a in ou W ·M t e

c gi

e

a · Firework · · Sakur Kink face aku e r · h P s Bridge · Vein · fi y l l Je Gas -ji Te tro m g pl gar · Do · Staircases s e · Su · Ex cop y y· · it · rfl e t t Su u ns ·B

汐 月·潮 像· 钟 · 时 夏 · 时 令· · 镜 发· 雪 魔术 洼 ·白 水 远山 · ·风 落日· 井 · 镜 口 出 ·

胃

樱 花 ·烟 花 · 金 序言 · 阁寺 · 水母 ·桥 河 流 · · 猫眼·蝴蝶·糖 ·狗 静脉 水 · 台 · 阶 Content 目 录

Ca tE y

：

00000 Preface

Till now, at the seventh year after he passed away, sometimes I still take a walk with him.

There is nothing about the super-natural.

We used to have a walk together almost every morning. My grandfather and I. We took the same path to the park and to school.

We walked together, talked, randomly.

But now, his company is no more. Sometimes I think of those days we walked together, some things we had never discussed before came across my mind. About him, there are still a lot of things I don’t really know about. I gradually realized that, in the last few months, he was trying to tell me more. If there was more time, if time went slower, would I know more?

So now, as if facing the remote and quiet mountains, towards “the other side” – if it does exist, I am shouting and expecting for a reply from the emptiness.

于 是， 如 同 面 对 空 谷， 我 向 那「 彼

言

时 至 今 日， 在 他 过 世 的 将 近 七 年 后，

序

我也常常与他一起散步谈天。

岸 」 —— 假使它存在，投下呼声，等 待从那明知无人的空无中传来回响。

这和超自然体验无关。

过去我们常常一起散步，外祖父和我。 去往公园的路和上学的路有很长一段 重合，于是我们便一起走。我们很随 意地谈话，谈论的话题林林总总。

而现在，我不得不独行。有时会想起 与他同行的情形，尚未谈及的事物道 理，浮上心头。关于他，我还有很多 事情并不了解。我逐渐意识到，在最 后的几个月里，他曾试图告诉我更多。 如果时间再多一些，再慢一些，我会 知道更多吗？

00001 The Absent

There was one such photo.

In front of the camera, that was me, should be around one year old, timidly toddling, about to stumble over. At that moment, my grandfather was standing behind me.

I think that was the first photo I had taken with him, but now, it has been lost during moving.

Family photos are always getting disappeared throughout time, as family members.

These moments that motivated me to press the shutter all can be backtracked to a moment about the “absent” one.

These photos printed in this book are all related to some photos have been lost or not yet been photographed.

0→1 Facing the “void” abyss, I ask for echoes, in order to confirm the “existence”.

不在者

有过这样一张照片。

镜 头 最 前 方 的 是 我， 正 在 学 走 路 —— 那么应该是一岁左右，脸上露出即将 跌倒前的惊慌神色，而背后是我的外 祖父。

这是我所记得的外祖父与我的第一张 合影，不过几次搬家之后就再没有看 到了。

家庭相片总是在辗转中渐渐佚散、遗 落，家族成员也是如此。

驱使我按下快门的场景常能回溯到一 处记忆中和「不在者」有关的场景。

确实被印刷在书页中的相片缘起一张 业已遗失或者未能被拍下的相片。

0→ 1

我 向 「空无 」 的旷野 、深 渊询问 回声， 是 为 确认「 存 在」。

00010 Sakura

I used to ask you many times about how to differentiate between peach, plum, prune, and cherry flowers, but till this year I still cannot be completely sure about that is indeed sakura blossom inside campus.

On the solar term day of “awakening of insects”, there is no thundering to waken up lives in hibernation in Istanbul. I walked up the long stairs in school, and then saw spring in the reflection on glass.

There is a saying that goes, “seven days of sakura”, which means that it only takes seven days for cherry’s florescence. Starting to think of this, when I saw the cherry blossom, I had already imagined one day it will wither and fall.

樱

花

以前常常问你桃李杏梅樱之间要怎么 辨别，结果今年仍旧是费上一番工夫 也不敢确定学校里开的就是樱花。

惊蛰那天，伊斯坦布尔并未有雷声惊 动蛰伏的虫兽。我沿着学校里的台阶 往上走，从映在玻璃窗上的像中，看 见学校里的樱花开了。

有「樱花七日」这样一句谚语吧，是 说 樱 花 从 盛 开 到 凋 零 不 过 短 短 七 日， 于是，在望见初开的花树的一刻，心 中就已经浮上了它即将凋落的念头。

00011 Firework

The same as “firework”.

Except for the thin and slowly burning sparklers, I don’t have any other memories that our family had bought fireworks before.

Sometimes we heard people set off fireworks from an apartment nearby, but they were usually blocked by buildings, only a bit of those red or green sparkles could be seen. During the rest of time, we only heard the noise from explosion.

Fireworks are noisy.

We two agreed on this.

Years later, I occasionally encountered a silent moment in a firework show. Shakudama quietly swam up in the black night sky, just like a cold snake. Crowds who were looking up at it were also quiet, but there was a smouldering energy for explosion within this silence, within both fireworks and the crowds.

People start to imagine about how will flowers fall at the moment they see the blossom.

Viewers all have already known that it will eventually disappear when they are waiting in the silence of fireworks.

烟

花

另一桩是「烟花」。

花火也好，或者人群，在这一片沉静 中，暗暗酝酿着在瞬间爆裂的能量。

姿态，烟花的观众也早在那悠悠上升

家里很少放烟花，有也只是细细小小、 倏尔便咝咝烧完的 “ 仙女棒 。 ”偶 尔 才 会 听 到 隔 条 街 有 人 在 楼 顶 放 烟 花，

的静默中就已预知其之消散。

赏花人在花开时就开始构想凋零时的

但大多被楼房遮住，只看得见一点点 漏出来的红色或者绿色的火星，余下 的时间只是在听焰火炸裂开的响动。

烟花是吵闹的。 你我达成过这样的共识。

后来发现也不尽然。

尺玉在漆黑的夜空中像一条冰凉的蛇 一样，静静向上游动，仰望着的人群 也是安静的。

00100 Kinkaku-ji Temple

I consider firework show a permitted arson – as people enjoy it.

What about setting fire to Kingaku-ji Temple?

Probably not.

One day after Tenjin Matsuri, teacher asked us where else we were planning to go.

Mishima Yukio wrote in his novel why the crippled and stammering monk student committed the arson: he was jealous about the beauty of the golden temple, the monk confessed so.

But the splendid pavilion was almost burnt to ashes in the rainy morning during early summer, while the criminal suspect who was hiding in a close mountain failed committing suicide after swallowing hundreds sleeping pills and trying hara-kiri by using a dagger.

Go to Kingaku-ji! Tribute to Mishima Yukio!

We shouted it out excitedly.

While the frail body was jealous about the magnificent architecture, it turns out to be unexpectedly difficult to destroy it.

Ah… The arsonist used to study here I think.

During a decade, you have also seen such absurdity.

Teacher said so.

Later I found out that the arsonist, monk student Hayashi Shōken was studying in Ōtani University but not Doshisha. However, at the time teacher told us the mistaken information, somehow I felt a bit excited – even thought that is not a glorious thing at all.

You said.

同志社，但当下，明明不是什么太光

金阁寺

烟花是广泛引起愉悦而被许可的纵火

与林养贤同校 “

彩 的 事迹，我 却 因为 而暗暗兴奋起来。

行为。

烧金阁寺呢？ 三岛由纪夫写跛足口吃的学僧被逮捕 之后如是招供了自己的作案动机：嫉 妒金阁的美。

应该不是。 —— 天神祭看完花火大会之后的一天，学

然辉煌的金阁殿在那个初夏下着细雨

弱 的 生命如 此 毁灭「 不 朽」。

你说你在某一个十年间，也曾见过卑

却意外地更加难以摧毁。

贫 瘠 羸 弱 的 肉 身 嫉 妒 大 而 美 的 殿 阁，

自杀。

山 中 先 是 吞 服 100 多片安眠药片，而 后又试图以匕首剖腹却依然未能遂愿

的凌晨几近焚毁，嫌犯匿身左大文字

校的先生问我们接下来要去哪里。

要去金阁寺！向三岛由纪夫致敬！我 们说。

哦、哦，金阁寺啊，放火的那个人好 像是这间大学的学生吧……

老师这么说。

事后去查了旧的新闻资料发现纵火的 学僧林养贤当时就读于大谷大学而非

”

00101 River

By the river, Confucius said: “The passage of time is just like the flow of water, which goes on day and night.”

One day you checked my recitation of Confucian Analects.

河

流

「 子 在 川 上 曰 ：『 逝 者 如 斯 夫， 不 舍 昼夜。』」

有一天你问我背论语。

00110 Well

Grandmother said, wells are earth mother’s eyes. If she sees children standing beside wells, she may grab them down and take them as her own kids.

This appalling metaphor of children’s accidental death somehow sounds a little bit more interesting than others because of the existence of that “earth mother”.

So I carefully asked you.

May I just have one look at the well?

水

井

外祖母有一个说法，水井是地母的眼 睛，如果看到小孩在水井边，会捉下 去当做自己的孩子。

明明是令人毛骨悚然的夭折隐喻，却 因为有一个「地母娘娘」的存在，不 知道为什么也变得有了一点趣味。

于是我小心翼翼地询问你：「我可以 走过去看一小眼那口井吗？」

00111 Pond

Pond after rain.

River → Well → Pond Water is ever flowing, from river bed to clouds above to ground.

水

洼

雨后的水洼。

河流 → 水井 → 水洼

水体不息地流动，从河床到云端到陆地。

01000 Mirrors

“Hey, who are you talking to?”

You also noticed that I often talked to myself, carefully asked me.

Some says children before ten years old can see ghost.

“The mirror.” I said.

There indeed exists another world inside the mirror, but contrary to death, it multiplies population.

镜

像

「你在和谁说话？」

你 也 留 意 到 我 在 自 言 自 语， 谨 慎 地 问 我。 有 人 说 十 岁 前 的 小 孩 可 以 看 到 幽 灵 鬼魂。

「镜子。」

镜中确乎是另一个世界，但与死亡相反， 它使人口增加。

01001 Moon

Sounds cliché.

“Sorrow and happiness, separation and reunion in our lives just like the moon’s different phases.” People quote the poem again and again.

Even there is such imperfection – or rather, just because of this imperfection, I am like Caligula, being obsessed with moon.

They said, if you point to the moon directly with a finger, then moon will turn into a sickle to cut your ear.

But you also don’t really mind that. So, I pointed to the moon without much concern.

And it didn’t turn into a sickle, either. It just follows me wherever I go.

月

亮

也是旧调重弹了。

人有悲欢离合，月有阴晴圆缺。

尽 管 如 此 —— 或者说，正因如此，我 像那暴君卡里古拉又或爱咏月最终 「 以 手 弄 月 身 翻 然 」 的 诗 人 一 般， 恋 慕着月亮。

还 有 一 个 说 法 是， 如 果 伸 手 指 月 亮， 月亮就会变成镰刀来割耳朵。

不过你也不讲究这个，我放心地伸出 手去。

它也没有变成镰刀，只是一直跟住我 罢了。

01010 Sea Tide

Moon phase changes.

Sea tide comes forth and back.

Everything will flow.

All things pass by. I cannot even keep one evidence. The feeling of something was lost has been engraved on my mind.

See, the water trace has disappeared.

潮

汐

月有盈缺，潮汐涨落。

万物消长生灭。

它们匆匆经过，我无法留下任何一片 证据，怀中只有从玄空受到的难以舍 弃的感铭。

你看，海岸上渐渐干涸的水迹。

01011 Jellyfish

I read you the newspaper. It said that turritopsis nutricula jellyfish is immortal. They can revert completely to a sexually immature, colonial stage after having reached sexual maturity as a solitary individual. Like this, they live forever.

I envied turritopsis nutricula, as the very first time I felt the helpless sorrow was because I realize that all humans are mortal.

But I wonder, for that jelly fish itself, is the incoming stage like “the next life�?

Maybe for the being itself, life is always about "this" moment.

I suppose.

水

母

报纸上写，灯塔水母可以退回水螅型 而后再次成熟而后再回复为幼虫，如 此循环，不灭不死。我读给你听。

我人生中最初的忧虑就是发现生命体 难以避免衰亡，因此，我对灯塔水母 心怀羡慕。

但 我 想 知 道， 对 于 水 母 型 世 代 而 言， 即将到来的水螅型世代或者，下一轮 的水母型世代，是「来生」一般的概 念吗？明明却又在同一段生命的延续 之中。

我猜想，对于生命自身永远只在此刻。 水母或水螅，生命存在于此刻。

01100 Bridge

Bridge.

Connection.

This side – That side Or, there is even no difference between side and side: together with the bridge, it is a whole thing.

桥

桥。

连接。

此岸 · 彼岸。

或者并无彼此 一体。

连同桥自身，即是 ——

01101 Vein

Vein.

Flow.

Connection.

It is the river.

And the bridge.

静

脉

血管。

流动的。

连接。

是河流。

以及桥梁。

01110 Gastroscopy

I went to take a gastroscopy examination.

You asked me about the result.

“Doctor said my stomach is beautiful.” I said so.

This kind of compliment sounds “inside out”.

But indeed is there a clear boundary between "inside" and "outside"?

胃

镜

我去照了胃镜，回来你问我怎么样。

「医生说我的胃很漂亮。」我如是复述。

这种称赞好像里外颠倒般地错乱。

但内部确实并非与「外侧」完全割裂， 双方连接而形成一体。

01111 Wind

I feel the world fantastic. We are living in a “post-explosion� process. Every single thing came from a same unknown original point at the very beginning.

From a void, there came the whole universe.

And energy is conserved, which means that in this forever cycle, every single thing is transforming between different stages or forms.

So where are you now?

There comes a wind from the end of sky.

At those sad moments, at those suffering moments, I reached out my hand to the sky, as the wind – it must be connected to you, at somewhere.

风

我总感到这世间无比奇妙。原初，也 许只是一团混沌，什么都没有，又或 者这就是一切，经由一场大爆炸，演 变成了一整个宇宙，生命始终，都在 这爆炸后的漫漫进程之中。花、鸟、鱼、 虫……什么都好，都是自那最初的一 团混沌而来。而能量守恒，这仿佛是 由虚空而来的一切，在历经一番遭际 之后，又将被打乱、重组、化作其他 的何种形式，参与进这亘古的轮回守 恒之中。

而你现在存在于何处呢？

天空的深处吹来一道风。

悲伤的时刻，痛苦的时刻，我就会试 着将手伸向天空。因着这道风，一定 和此刻存在于某处的你，相连。

10000 White Hair

In fact, you did not really have many white hairs.

That made me incapable to notice your aging.

白

发

事实上，你一直以来都没有什么白发。

这让我在过去都不太能够觉察到，时 间在你身上的流逝。

10001 Snow

The distant hill tops gradually turned into white during those snowy days.

And now it is fading into dark blue again, as the season changes.

雪

远远的山尖在雪日里渐渐发白。

又在季节移变中褪变成深青色。

10010 Clock

In Kyiv, a Café called “Циферблат ”. A girl named Katyusha just as the old folk song asked me why I came to Ukraine.

I told her, because my grandfather could speak in Russian, and the first novel I read is also How the Steel Was Tempered - chosen by him. Pavka, Tonia, and the boy named Sergei whose blue eyes were “too gentle for a soldier” – they are all Ukrainians. Циферблат → Clockface.

People don’t know where time starts and ends, but they still came out with a way to visualize eternality.

Round and round, the clock walks.

时

钟

在 基 辅， 一 间 叫 「 Циферблат 」的咖 啡馆。像歌里一样名叫喀秋莎的姑娘 问我为什么会来乌克兰。

我说，因为外祖父会说俄语，看的第 一本小说也是他选的《钢铁是怎样炼 成的》。

保尔、冬妮娅、还有那个「眼睛是太 温柔的蓝色」的谢廖沙都是乌克兰人。

Циферблат→ 钟面 人们不知时间的起始，却也想出了方 法来具象化永恒。

指针在钟面上走过循环往复的轨迹。

10011 Summer-time

That day, at 3.00 am, Istanbul started the daylight saving time.

China cancelled using that daylight saving time from the year I was born. For you, it might be not surprising at all that clocks are advanced by one hour, so that light can extend into the evening hours.

But for me, that is something new.

That one hour in March that has disappeared into nowhere will flow back in October.

Time moves in reverse.

As if we are living in a fantasy world.

夏时令

那天凌晨三点，伊斯坦布尔也进入了 夏时令。

国内恰巧是在我出生的那年取消的夏 时令。为了节省天光而拨快了一个钟 头的时间，你大概不会觉得有什么不 可思议吧。

但于我而言，比起冬天的雪，这才是 新奇的事。

三月里不知去向的那一小时又会在十 月中倒流回来。

时间倒流，我们正生活在魔幻的世界 中吧。

10100 Magic

How do magician’s hands turn and move? I want to know.

Palms, cloth, boxes – front side and back side are separated, and then at some moment, it flips – there comes the fantastic change.

The earliest magic show I have seen, probably is that you hided an orange in your hand and suddenly showed it to me.

Strangely, wherever I watch a magic show, I always think of that simple orange trick.

魔

术

魔术师的手究竟是如何翻覆的呢？

手掌、方巾、箱子，正侧与背侧被隔 绝开，又在颠倒翻转间变幻出戏法。

最早看到的魔术，大概你在手里藏了 一颗橘子然后变出来给我吧。奇怪的 是，明明是再简单不过的把戏，坐在 剧场里的我却怀念起来了。

10101 Cat Eye

You were joking about cats' eyes, said that when cats stared at dead people’s eyes, as they can connect Yin and Yang, the dead will return to life for a short while.

I stared at cat’s eyes, tried in vain and wished that I could find out the answer for the riddle of life and death.

猫

眼

你开玩笑说，猫与死者相对视时，会 因连通阴阳两极，而让死者短暂复生。

我凝视着猫的眼瞳，妄图解出生死谜 题的答案。

10110 Butterfly

There is something like a curled leaf on the branch.

I said I wanted to pinch that leaf, but you told me I had better just touch it gently.

That is butterfly’s pupa.

One day, a butterfly really flew out.

Butterfly, pupa, larva – different phases of one life.

Does it realize the existences of other two forms of its own life at the present moment?

Zhuangzi dreamt about being a butterfly.

I also want to know whether I am just a dreaming butterfly.

蝴

蝶

金桔树的枝上有像是卷起来的叶子的 东西。

我伸出手想捏捏看的时候，你说只能 轻轻碰一下，那是蝴蝶的蛹。

后来果然飞出了黑色翅翼有橘黄色斑 纹的蝴蝶。

蝴蝶、蛹、毛虫，同一生命的不同形态。

它所意识到的自身，是否包含着此刻 以外的两种形态，又或者只当下的瞬 间而已呢？

庄生晓梦。

我也想知道自己究竟是不是一只做着 梦的蝴蝶。

10111 Sugar

You described to me how your family’s factory used to crystalize rock candy when you were a kid.

I kept the konpeitĹ? received from friend in mouth, gradually recalled a little bit of the candy producing way you told me.

Colourful star-shape sugar slowly melted on my tongue.

Temperature + Time

糖

你复述过小时候家里办的糖厂是如何 制冰糖的。

我含着朋友带来的金平糖手信，心里 回想起依稀一点你提到的制法。

仿佛一颗颗行星般五彩的糖球在口腔

+时间

中慢慢融化。

温度

11000 Dog

The pansion I stayed keeps a very old dog.

It leant on my feet, let me touch it.

Courtyard at night was quite, suddenly I heard its breath.

It is not because of sadness at all, just because at the moment, I was looking downwards, then tear dropped.

I remembered the time I hold my first dog and showed it to you. If it were still alive, it should be much older than this one.

狗

民宿养的狗已经很老很老了。

它靠在我的脚上，静静地敞开肚皮让 我摸摸它。

夜里的天井很安静，我忽然听见它呼 吸的声音。

并没有特别感到悲伤才落泪，只是刚 好眼睛向着下面。

我想起抱来第一只狗给你看的情形 了，如果它还活着，其实比我脚边的 这一只还要年长上许多了。

11001 Staircases

Staircases.

Along it – upwards or downwards.

Walking.

How to tell which end is the entrance or exit?

台

阶

台阶。

顺着台阶往上或往下。

走。

究竟哪一端才是出口、哪一端才是入 口呢。

11010 Exit

I saw the silhouette near the exit against light.

At the same moment one steps out, one also enters another space.

出

口

我看见出口处逆光的背影。

踏出的瞬间同时进入了另一个空间。

11011 Sunset

I farewell to the setting sun. Under my eyes, there is warmth of sun or maybe tears.

Just happened to be here at dusk.

I tell to myself.

I gradually understand that it is the changing that makes season charming, so now I can naturally accept sun’s leaving.

Right here, when it sinks into sea, at the same time, it rises at the other end of this planet.

落

日

「再见吧。」

这一秒的我向太阳的背影道别。眼底 有余晖的倒影，又或者是将要溢出的 泪水的温度。

只是刚好观赏了黄昏的沉落而已。 我这样安慰自己。

我渐渐明了，四季正因移变而多情动 人，所以终于能够以理所当然的爱怜 迎接夕日的离去。

此刻、此处沉入海面的太阳，同时也 在星球的另一端升起。

11100 Mountains

The distant mountains are in silence.

The reply is not from anyone over there. Then who is the one I am talking to?

Echoes start from the one who asked first.

There is no “this side”.

There is no “that side”.

There is no “one side and the other”.

Just like echoes come and go, there is an invisible circle. Death is never the opposite end of life – it is a whole thing. The farewell between you and me did not stop anything – the death still exists in my life, till now.

This is the reply I have received.

远

山

远山静默无声。

回音并不从那来。那么究竟是谁在与 我对话？

回音始于发声者。

既无此岸，也无彼岸。更不存在此岸 与彼岸。

仿佛回声的去来，共存于一个无形的 圆环，死并非生的对极，它们共存于 一体。彼时的作别并非是完全的「歇 止」，它依然存留于此刻的生命之中。

这即是，我所知道的回答。

。

回

响

"胃镜" 图片引自： http://pixgood.com/normal-gastroscopy.html 摄影 / 文字 / 设计：

陈璐

个人主页：http://blingring000.tumblr.com/ 联系方式：ring03.cl@gmail.com

版权所有 翻印必究 © 2015

ECHO

Copyright Š 2015 by Chen Lu All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

"Gastroscopy" Picture Retrieved from http://pixgood.com/normal-gastroscopy.html Photo / Text / Design by Chen Lu http://blingring000.tumblr.com/ Contact: ring03.cl@gmail.com

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