Skin

SKIN

SPECIAL THANKS Firstly, I would like to thank my grandfather from whom I inherited the camera which made this project possible. I love to look through the same lensthat he would have seen hisworld through 35 yearsago.

I would also like to thank my parentsfor beingso supportive of me whilst makingthiszine, they were there for me through every up and down, and I am infinitely grateful for them and their constant support of me.

I would like to thank my friends, who gave me the motivation to create thiszine, and who helped me with all my petty dilemmasfrom font selection to whether to spell it learnt or learned, realised or realized.

And lastly, I'd like to thank the beautiful girlswho participated in thiszine, who shared their stories,and their bodies, with these pagesand me. I am so blessed to be surrounded by such inspiringyoungwomen of Auckland and I am incredibly thankful for their help with thisproject.

I am so happy to be sharing this zine with whoever may be reading this, I hope that in flipping through these pages you begin to feel more ?at home?in your body, like I have upon working with these girls. I would also like to thank you for supporting this project, it truly means so much to me.

SKIN is all about young women feeling comfortable and confident in their own bodies, realising that their self worth is not determined by the size of their breasts or the gap between their thighs.

Unfortunately, people these days face so much pressure about their bodies, constantly told by magazine covers and social media how they should look, being judged by eyes in headlines that should be so distant. This should not be the case, the expectations that we have to face today are unrealistic and damaging, and we need to do what we can to fight them.

In this project, I have attempted to show teenage girls, un-retouched, with their bodies looking beautiful in their natural state. The models that I have used have been chosen at random, whether they?ve happened to be at a friends house, or expressed an interest in participating with this project. This method of selection, I hope, has provided these pages with an honest representation of a small selection of teenage girls.

Upon meeting each model, I took their photos as they were when I arrived, how they were looking and feeling, naturally, on that day. As you can see I have chosen to photograph most of them in lingerie, because I believe that being undressed and bare, cold, was such a vulnerable state to portray these young women in.

In taking these photos I saw the girls warm up, and become more open about sharing their bodies, in the short time that I was photographing them, I witnessed them become more comfortable.

Each model felt free, content in their bodies, and I hope that these pages have captured that spirit of freedom and personal empowerment.

I remember once when I was little (so little I was still covered in baby fat), my mum, auntie and I lay side by side sunbathing, most our bodies exposed to the heat of the sun. I noticed my mum and auntie discussing the flatness of their stomachs, and pointing out what they thought to be flaws about themselves. I remember looking down at my stomach as they discussed there's, and immediately I noticed my stomach did not sit flat the way there's did and I asked them "why isn't my tummy like yours mummy?" They responded by saying one day I would have a flat, and slim stomach. That night, and many nights after, I looked in the mirror and wondered when that day would come. It was heartbreaking when I realised that having a stomach like my mothers wouldn't come over night, and I feel it was from that day on the beach that I began having issues with my body.

I was probably not much older than my sister who is currently five, and it severely pains me thinking my sister would ever have such thoughts about herself they way I did when I was young. Ever since my sister was born, I've been trying to teach her to love herself, as I feel this lesson is something not enough girls are taught, and is something every girl needs to know We have to learn to love ourselves, that?s something I wish I was taught from an earlier age. In my experience I believe all girls are truly beautiful, and never have I genuinely believed a girl to be ?ugly?. For me the female body is a beautiful thing, and it hurts me so much knowing so many girls hate themselves for theirs. There are so many things to love about womens bodies: the smoothness of stomachs, boobs, the red blush in cheeks, squishy thighs, thin thighs, muscular thighs, and did I mention, boobs?

Ever since I was young I would look into the mirror, and hate what I saw. I always thought my body had so many flaws. My stomach was too big, my boobs too small, my thighs too large. It's only recently I discovered the beauty in self-confidence, and the ease that comes in life with looking in the mirror and being comfortable with what you see.

There will always be things about my body that I'm not 100% happy with, but it's the moment you begin to accept yourself for who you are that you understand the importance of loving yourself.

My battle with an eating disorder started at the end of year 10 (unbeknown to me at the time) after I saw a photo of myself next to my other friends on New Years and realised that I was ?the chunky friend?in my group. I have always had ridiculously strong will power so when I committed myself to losing a bit of weight, it wasn't long before I started seeing results.

During the initial stages of losing weight, my home life got out of control with lots of family issues and so the only way I believed I could exert any control in my life was through the shrinking number on the scale that became an obsession.

I began running everyday, eating a little bit less and restricting any 'fear foods' from coming anywhere near me. I started hearing comments from my peers about how I was looking so fit and how I had so much self- control. When I set a goal of a certain weight and achieved it, I didn't know what else to do except set another lower goal. This became a cycle, I was afraid that if I stopped losing weight, my body would do the opposite and gain weight instead. (How deluded I was...) Soon enough I became a member of the itty- bitty- titty- committee and resembled probably what looked like a 12 year old boy before he hit puberty.

I developed shin splints which were utterly painful but I kept running and running despite the pain every day. My mum started to get worried but her words of warning were channeled out by the illness that was controlling me and my only focus was on the growing thigh gap between my legs.

I started getting extremely dizzy whenever I stood up, and it got to the point where I kept fainting in the shower and yet I still kept running everyday. Every time I spoke to my mum she continually tried to show me the path I was headed on was dangerous and life threatening, to which, of course, I continually ignored.

I began to shut my friends out, as my depression didn't disappear as I thought it would when I got skinner - it only got worse. My attitude and obsessive behaviour was understandably very difficult to be around. But, this depression and loneliness only made the eating disorder stronger as it lied to me in saying I would have more friends and be more likeable if I was smaller.

This cycle continued, losing around 11 kgs in a very short space of time, this lead to me being taken to the hospital for what I thought would be a day and what turned out to be almost 3 weeks. A feeding tube was put down my throat and my worst nightmare came true, the calories I had worked so hard to burn off began dripping down the tube into my shrunken stomach with a cold spurt every few seconds.

Once the tube was out I was force-fed what seemed like enough food to feed an entire army, making me gain roughly 9 kgs in two weeks.

Once I was released from hospital, my whole perception of myself screamed self-consciousness. I started to plan new ways of losing weight behind my mums back, and almost got myself back to the weight I was when I was admitted into hospital until I was threatened with being sent back there. Since my experience in the hospital I have had two major relapses and numerous smaller episodes of relapse when my self-doubt and self-consciousness became too hard to ignore.

However, I have been given a ridiculous amount of support from my family (despite being horrible to them when I became defensive about accepting the fact that I had an eating disorder), I have moved schools to a supportive environment and I have focused my control on achieving the greatest of my ability in terms of academic, acting and leadership fields. These factors have led me to overcome and dismiss the naive belief I once had that my weight determined people's perception of who I was as a person.

I am now stronger, healthier and more confident than I have ever been. By winning the battle with anorexia, it has helped me become the determined and strong individual I am today.

It was by no means an easy victory, there were times in my recovery when I wanted to end it all because it was so overwhelming and the horrible thoughts were so intruding. I'm not going to lie, there are sometimes days when I still struggle to accept that I'm not the skinny-minny I was any more... But I have grown to love my little curves and edges and the fact that I now have a booty I am able to shake on the dance floor. I have matured into realising that there are so many issues that should take priority above my physical appearance.

I have learnt that your body is your temple and you shouldn't burn it down. And that there are far more important factors in who you are as a person than the state of your physical appearance.

Hel p and support f or peopl e suf f ering f rom eat ing disorders: Ht t p:/ / www.ed.org.nz/ Ht t p:/ / www.ment al heal t h.org.nz/ get -hel p/ a-z/ resource/ 37/ eat ing-disorders Ht t p:/ / caprihospit al .co.nz/ eat ing-disorders/ t reat ment .ht ml

Like most unfortunate teens, I hated the way that I looked. I hated the way that white kids only saw me as Asian and Asian kids only saw me as white.

I spent a long time trying to fit in and look like the white kids but then one day I had an epiphany that I would never be ?pretty,?I would never fit into the media's conventional idea of beautiful and so I gave up, but in a positive, liberating sense.

I started swimming at the beach regardless if I would arrive home with my skin slightly darker, I stopped playing a sport I only participated in to keep me thin, and I started dressing in clothes that expressed who I was rather than made me appear skinnier.

I learnt to embrace that I?m not a ?pretty girl?and that there is so much more to me than my physical appearance.

I learnt to disconnect my true being from my body. I realised that my actual self is in my thoughts, memories and opinions in my brain and my body is just muscle and bone which help carry my real self around.

I realised that my physical appearance was no real representation of who I was and that in the end, it really did not matter. I realised that self-hatred is forced upon us by a consumerist society, that self-doubt was a way of keeping us small and so I consciously untaught myself those lines of thinking. I learnt that just because I wasn?t an hourglass, skinny, white, blonde, hairless girl, didn?t mean that I didn?t deserve to feel comfortable in my own skin.

I realised girls spend so much time obsessing over their looks and that my male friends, just weren?t. I realised that all that time could be spent learning new things, doing my hobbies, working on personal development and that my self-obsession was only disadvantaging me as a girl.

So I liberated myself from the self-deprecating habits and became comfortable in my body, realising that my physical body did not matter one bit.

I believe gaining self confidence isn't something that can happen overnight, it's a journey and unfortunately it can be a difficult one, especially with pressure coming from the media and peers.

I am still on that journey but it feels great that I can start to feel that self-love. There will of course be times where you just don't feel good about yourself but that's okay, we need to understand that everybody is unique in their own way.

I can safely say that everybody has flaws, it's clichĂŠ, but no one really is perfect, and perfect doesn?t really exist.

These flaws aren't "ugly" they're part of what makes us beautiful, something we should all be proud of and embrace. I have hated things about myself, my nose and my height count as a few, but now that I?m learning to accept it, I?m becoming more confident in my body.

We also live in a generation where the media plays a huge part in influencing the way we view ourselves, which definitely makes being confident tougher.

However, we are also lucky to also have a growing media of self-confidence to help you overlook the other parts of the media.

I remember in the first few years of high school, I compared myself to others a lot; their beauty, their ability to socialise with others, their smartness.

I would be feeling unhappy a lot about not only my appearance but also myself in general. However beginning acting at school really helped me improve on my self-confidence of myself not just on the outside but on the inside as well. Building self-confidence on the inside really contributes to outer self-confidence.

My friend groups at school were all accepting and open minded. There was nothing specific that they said or did but in general they were just good people to be around, they sent me positive vibes, which helped me maintain a positive mentality. We are all very much aware of the media and how much it affects us so we constantly remind ourselves and each other to try not listen to them. My friendship groups were always complimenting one another on not just our appearance but also our personality. I think surrounding myself with people who are positive and kind helped boost my self esteem, and that it is very essential for young women to surround themselves with supportive, positive people.

I?ve had anxiety for as long as I can remember, and it?s always manifested itself into weird things like my feelings towards animals, weather, space and literature.

However I feel like the worst manifestation of my anxiety has surrounded my feelings towards my body and mind. I can?t say I?ve suffered, I?ve always had support and had an almost third person perspective over things, but my insecurities towards my body has always been in the back of my mind.

I remember being in primary school, I must have been 7 or 8, and I had like a little-kid ?crush?on this boy, I gave him a card that was all sparkly that I had made. Anyways, it was lunchtime and he turned around in front of his friends and told me I was fat and needed to lose weight. I was only so young! I?m sure he doesn?t remember, I don't even remember what his name was, but I do remember what he said. I remember going home that night and not eating dinner or anything for a few days, and I started to compare myself to the other skinnier girls at school.

Over the past two years I?ve grown a lot, not height wise, but like curvy lady things. It was really strange for me, I didn't like how I looked different to the skinny girls I saw on social media, and I didn?t look anything like my tiny sisters or mum so I felt a bit like a strange, pudgy elephant. When I was growing up I was incredibly introverted and I only had a few friends, mainly boys, so I never really understood how girls worked. When I did start growing I was a lot taller and curvier than the women in my family, I couldn't see any similarities with our bodies when I compared myself to them and I never really understood why I looked the way I did.

When I moved to an all girls school in Auckland, I was filled with self loathing and I never liked my body or how I looked. I was surrounded by these tall, thin girls and I got into a really unhealthy state of mind. I was constantly comparing myself to the girls around me and those I saw on the internet, and I was never happy with myself. A few years after starting at that school I finally moved to what (I think) was my sixth school, at that school, we didn't wear uniforms, and it seemed like the girls there embraced their bodies and expressed who they were through what they wore, I found it very strange and enlightening. It was around that time I started getting therapy for some things and was put on lots of medications, but after some time I started seeing that I was changing. I started to open up to myself and love my tiny hands and wrists and my bouncy thighs.

I feel like the rise of acceptance of all body types and genders has really helped with the feelings I have towards my own body. I feel more human, like my weird bumps and bones aren't abnormal, but real and that my body with all it?s weird parts should be loved because I am unique. I feel now that it is really important to embrace who you are, and what your body is like. I don?t feel the need to cover up the fact that I may be a bit skinny or a bit chubby, its okay because everyone is different and we should all embrace our differences, because that?s what makes us who we are.

I was a very carefree child so it didn't bother me much

I, like many girls, really struggled for most of my

what my body looked like. I wasn't exposed to very

teenage years to come to terms with my body.

much media which I think was the best part of my youth in retrospect. But as I reached my teenage years, I no longer had the almost entirely androgynous body which most kids had. I grew curves and all of that, it was then that I began to see distinct differences between my own

What helped me the most was my large and very matriarchal family. It helped me to see the strength and beauty of women and that the natural shape of each women's body is individual, unique and beautiful, each womens body isn?t comparable to another.

body and the bodies of the women that I saw in film.

I know that I still have a lot to learn about my own self Film is the only form of media I have had constant exposure to due to my parents great interest in it as an art form. I started noticing small things about these actresses bodies that I wanted for myself. Because there were similarities between all these "Hollywood women" and I didn?t have those same similarities.

acceptance because I am not yet completely happy with every part of my body, but I think I am at an advantage because I have had the support of the women in my family.

When did our society become so uncharitable?So emotionally repressed?We are living in a world where we are constantly trying to fit certain standards and for someone to see you in a raw, open and vulnerable state can be so emotionally draining.

Maybe the representation of a womens body isn?t the most imperative issue, though it is part of a wider pour of injustice that has a dripping effect from a constitutional problem that has all along been truely deceiving us all. So many of us search for our happiness through a form of appearance or a particular object but what i perceive to be the real interesting question is what is it that brings us, as women or people, to have such internalised hatred of our own bodies and the want for something more, or less.

From day one we are taught what is supposably pretty, attractive, ugly, unattractive, but why is this?How are we as humans allowed to use these limited uninclusive branding?s that are far from correct.

I can easily say, as I?m sure 90% of girls and women can, that I have had a negative relationship with how I see my body in the past and even occasionally now, it's a back and forth rivalry that we have against each other.

But recently I have chosen to just not give a shit, because why should some picture perfect standard of what is beautiful?be the only form of beauty?

I never felt it until high school, the pressure. The pressure to fit in, the incredibly daunting body image I felt I had to achieve. On top of all my school work I felt as if my main priority was my body, I compared myself to others picking every flaw I had and trying to 'fix' it.

Coming from a reasonably small school, knowing everybody's name, to a high school in central Auckland was daunting. I never looked at my flaws as quirks which made me me, every negative attribute to my body was a burden that needed to be hidden. It wasn't until I realised I'm not just one girl thinking this - there are millions of girls all around the world unhappy with their bodies, even the people I aspired to look like were unhappy! The system was crazed.

I started to acknowledge my flaws, realising confidence is one of the most attractive traits, your personality is you, not what people see on the outside, scales are just numbers, people are judgemental for there own insecurities and to live happily I have to love my body. I wish through my first years of high school I realised this, but now I have learnt to love myself, to feel comfortable in my own skin.

My skin tells many stories, it is a map of my mistakes and experiences and its taken me a long time to love it.

As most teenage girls do, I've wrestled with crippling insecurities about my body for many years - I had always been a "chubby" kid, and grew up feeling like It was wrong to celebrate that, but somehow over the years I have learned to embrace my chub and eat the pizza! Although I am no longer insecure about my body shape, today my biggest insecurity would have to be my scars.

I am a recovered self-harmer. Over the last few years I've been battling mental illness and my coping mechanism (although an awful one) was to tear my skin up. Through therapy, the support of loved ones and a lot of slip ups and inner strength I have managed to win my fight against self injury but it unfortunately has left me with keloid scars all down my left arm and thighs. The kind of scars that little kids ask about, the kind that strangers give you funny looks for, the kind that people don't want to hear about, the kind I want to cover up.

It's a brave day every time I decide to venture out into the world wearing a tee shirt, because I never know how people will react to my skin. But I am not ashamed of my scars, they have become a part of me and the important thing is that they are healed, they are warrior scars because I won that fight. And this is the only skin I have.

When Lucia told me about this project, I thought it would be empowering to show the world (or at least the people who will read this) and myself, that it's okay to be scarred and I don't have to cover up anymore.

I understand that people won't always understand but I can not let that phase me., because this is the only skin I have and I love my skin.

I've never fully known how I feel about my body. When I was younger , I was told I was 'massive' and at the time I didn't understand that what they meant was that I was taller than everyone else, when I was eight, I thought that I was fat and had many insecurities. I was eight. I saw the women in the media and their bodies, and I compared myself to them.

At 14, upon joining rowing, my nickname became 'scrawny', even my coach called me this. At regattas I was always over fed, trying to get my weight up, but I refused to eat. I thought eating was unattractive until now, I wouldn't eat at school or in public at all as i thought it unattractive or unnatural, I couldn't shake the feeling that eating was embarrassing and gross. I enjoyed being called skinny by my peers.

As I started to workout more, the fact of gaining muscle frightened me, I thought it wasn't feminine to have muscle.

As a model I compared myself with other models, even to the point where I would measure myself with a measuring tape and compare myself to their measurements. I used to be so so unhappy with my body, I would always suck in my stomach, even when I walked down the street, I ruined so many fun times by not eating or drinking.

Looking back on how I used to feel about myself makes me proud, as I see that I have grown immensely and am no longer afraid to eat, I now like my lanky limbs and can look in the mirror and love what I see.

We?re all kinda the same - standing under a curious and utterly fascinated gaze, embodied by the adult and youth culture, with this attention on us. It's ambitious to not look so closely at our faults and compare.

Our bodies are unknowingly the inspiration for years of historical and modern art, sometimes exploited and sometimes venerated, and then obsessed over as girls become ripe with sexuality.

With these looks and stares its up to us to balance out the delicious self love and exposure with the hypocritical watchful eye?s decree to what is acceptable and what is not, nevertheless they strip us regardless.

I believe in the terms of beauty, you should endure a sense of breathlessness, or the need to retreat a step or two, because each impression is just endorsed in awe. A response that has withed in the perceiving our own or other lovely bodies and hearts due to the mass production of a body mould has tainted our view. I see little point in putting society as our scapegoat, as each of are apart of it - all theory, no action. Beauty has no face, only a physical presence, why not imprint that onto ourselves, as our skin and body is our own and can?t be correlated to no others, theres so much comfort in just that, and so by itself is beautiful.

I?m in a pretty good state of mind at the moment about my body and me.

I?m still not a very open person to others, I was definitely one of the girls who wasn?t too excited when the P.E locker changing rooms first came up.

But being in the environment of positive people I have surrounded myself with, I feel as though as long as I am fuelling my body right, I?m now pretty comfortable in my own skin.

I know it sounds a bit spoiled as I?m lucky as my body shape hasn?t been depicted with negative connotations by the media, and so I have felt as though if you're smaller end of the scale your have no right to have body conscious issues and so I have felt like I can never share my thoughts with others.

I love curves on a person, and I would relate it to what creates a real lady. And so not having much

shape or volume I used to feel as though i was less of a woman, like i had let down the criteria it was to be attractive, stuck in limbo between the very delicate elongated ladies and curvaceous women. But I?m totally over that and love my body because, it is what it is and everyone is absolutely different.

I think a major contributor to body consciousness for anyone, is this idea of comparison. Its ridiculous. A womans body can not be compared to another as they were never designed to be the same, a womans body isn?t even designed at all, but is growing and changing constantly throughout our lives. Its like an artist working with ceramics comparing their work to another working with water colour paints.

You can?t ever compare them, because they are meant to be different. The idea of your skin being yours, is that if fits you.

Imagine your skin the way it fits perfectly to the make up of you, how it wraps around the edging of your nose, the crevices behind your ears and has the just right amount of stretch to go around your hips and your curves. Trying to fit into someones else?s skin will never work. You look absolutely stunning in your own and not a single other person would look good trying to fit into yours.

Your skin in my mind doesn?t define you but rather shows you off, it?s your top coat, your protective layer that will always grow and shape as you do.

There is this quote, which I love, and it states ?in my body is a good place to be.?

Well, In my body is a good place to be because it has kept me safe all these years. It takes me from point A to B. It allows me to be independent, I don?t have to rely on anybody but me to get myself where I want.

My legs work, my arms work, I have sight, I can hear, I'm capable, strong, and that is already what a lot of other people?s bodies are not. And therefore I am thankful.

However it does not go to say that I don?t wish I could change things about myself, body confidence is not only always being 100% happy in your body, it?s overcoming those negatives thoughts that pass through your mind, acknowledging these thoughts and then dismissing them.

To me, there has always been a division in my thinking patterns. From a young age, we are socialised.

Socialisation essentiality means we are taught by society, what is good and what is bad about everything.

This occurs through primary socialisation, which is socialisation in the home, and secondary socialisation, which is socialisation in the outside world. So when a constant image of what is beautiful is always being thrown in your face from a young age, and everybody around you is accepting and celebrating this, it really is a battle to tell yourself that, that thinking is not for you, and is not true either.

There is not one definition of beauty. Many a time have I wished that I had bright green or blue eyes, a smaller nose, straight hair, a tighter stomach, to banish my stretch-marks off my skin. But why?There are so many different people in this world, so why would I want to look like someone that would not be me.

Again, it is the whole process of identifying which thoughts are yours and what thoughts society has planted in your thinking patterns. Looking at myself now, a year 13, on the edge of ?real life?,I can say that I am confident in my body. The environment at my school has made me more confident, it sounds so mushy, but being able to go to a place with so many individuals who are all tall poppies per say, has motivated me explore ways of confidence through fashion.

Your body is a blank canvas and you can portray how you feel each day with the clothes and accessories you wear. And loving yourself and knowing yourself is my form of confidence. I love that I don?t look like everybody else, I love that i?m me and nobody can do me better than myself. ?I love myself, I love every little thing, from the colour of my skin, to my soul energy.?

Our bodies are so sacred, I am not sure that there is much more to say. Our bodies, especially as women, are sacred. I feel young girls these days forget how amazing and special our bodies are, when girls put down their bodies down I get really upset, because in my opinion every body and every woman is beautiful.

As entering teen hood I struggled to appreciate my body, all the girls around me were complaining about their thighs and their tiny boobs and their lack of curves when I was completely comfortable with my body. This made me feel like I was vain and far too self appreciative, so I began to put my self down.

This lead me to dislike my body, because I let myself believe it.

It was only last year I began to truly appreciate my small boobs, lanky legs and my non-existent hips. It takes a lot to appreciate our bodies especially as women when we don't look like models and pop stars that we see in the media.

It is so hard to even get your head around finding your flaws and accepting them, a big part for me was finding what I didn't like and really figuring out why; Why its not good enough?Which for me lead me to discover that there was nothing wrong at all with my small boobs! I figured that if I wanted big boobs to impress people, did i really want to hang out with people who are impressed by big boobs?

Did I want larger breasts to look sexy, no because personally I think I'm sexy regardless of my chest.

Our bodies are just so amazing, in our bodies, we can create people, that's amazing! So in the end no matter your cup size or the number on a scale, whatever your insecurities may lie, our bodies are capable of so much more, we are worth so much more, and that's cool enough for me.

I found the concept of body autonomy difficult to understand until it was ripped away from me. I remember countless months spent with my skin crawling, hands shaking and senses numb. Drinking constantly to dull this constant feeling that everything about my body was foreign and not my own. It?s so strange to have lived for years with the same long fingers, thick hair, blue eyes, soft tummy, stretch marks and pale skin only to have this sense of pride, self worth and self ownership disappear in a matter of months.

It gets better though, gradually I learned to take comfort in the decisions I make with my body. I?ve gotten piercings, grown out my fringe, taken control over my contraceptive choices, started taking the medication I need and eventually it?s gotten easier.

This is the first time I?ve talked about my struggle on a public domain because in the social environment that we live in, survivors of sexual violence are encouraged to stay quiet, stay ashamed and stay scared.

We all know at least one person who loves to degrade women?s value to purely their physical appearances, loves to talk about the ?slutty?girls they know or laughs along with their friends at rape jokes. All of this behaviour perpetuates and encourages an unhealthy environment for people like me.

To any person who may be going through what I?ve been through ? it?s okay. It?s okay to be angry, sad, heartbroken or ashamed. You?re normal and you?re loved and one day you will love yourself. You will find comfort in the curves and dips in your body as you do in the mountains, sea and the bodies of the ones you love. Yes you will love again and yes it will be hard, painful even. Don?t be silent about how you?re feeling, to yourself or to anyone around you. If you feel you need help then get help. Kick and scream until you find a place that will care for you until you can care for yourself.

Hel p and support f or vict ims of sexual abuse: 0800 842 846, 0800 88 33 00, 09 623 1700, ht t p:/ / rpe.co.nz/ get -hel p/

All photos taken on 35mm film using an Olympus OM 4-ti.

Photography and editing by Lucia Taylor.

July 2016.