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December 10, 2019 | Issue #17
Editor’s Note:
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As you very well know, Lune is a media group dedicated to the perspectives of Gen-Z — teenagers and young adults. This month, we focused on identity and what that means to us on a more personal level. Identity is a word thrown around a lot in today’s social and political sphere. We dove deep into what it really means to us, in this collaborative issue with Divisions Talent and their publication Identify Magazine, a name suiting the theme of our issue. In light of the college application season for many of our staff members, we went personal essay — or personal art — style for this issue. - The team at Lune Magazine
STAFF Editor-in-Chief Deborah Kwon Co-Content Editors Srilekha Cherukuvada Rahul Jain Design Deborah Kwon
Writers Cassandra Branson JadeAnn Rowe Adelaine Stanleigh
& the contributors at Identify Magazine!
Photographers Diana Dalton* Mariana Gardoce Harmanpreet Randhawa Michelle Ta Artists Kimia Fariborz Celia Le Nagisa Sugiyama
Reach Divisions Talent and Identify Magazine: @divisionstalent (Instagram/Facebook) @identifyzine (Instagram) @identifymagazine (FB) divisionstalent.com divisionstalentagency.com/identifymagazine
*cover photographer
Beef noodle soup by Cassandra Branson Lune Magazine My mother is a mishmash of cotton balls and freckles; warm hands, and understanding. She pats my back and says “it’s okay” with no prompting. She brings me fruits when I study. She loves me unconditionally. My mother is strong and resilient, she is my anchor and my shield protecting me from the world. My father is built from teddy bear insides, hamburger buns, and sneakers too big for my feet. My father smiles with his face and laughs with his belly. My father is also strong and resilient, like my mother. But he is still different. My father lifts me up and believes in me. My father has no doubts. My mother is Chinese and my father is Irish, I think. I am both of them, yet neither of them. I have my mother’s eyes and nose and cheeks. I have my father’s hands and feet. When I bleached my hair, my mother joked that I was colonized, assimilated, and whitewashed. I laughed and she smiled. And later, I cried. I cried for all the times I shouted “no” to my classmates who told me I was Asian. I cried for all the times I googled nose jobs and eyelid surgeries and facelifts and boob jobs. I cried for the time I spent learning to love my mom and learning to love her heritage. I cried because I was scared, I had retreated to my elementaryschool self. My father, no matter what I do, brags to his friends about me. After years of losing national gymnastics competitions and mediocre ballet recitals, he still is proud. Even when I am the last ballerina on stage, he proudly tells everyone, “that’s my daughter.” My mother is proud too. But in a different way. My mother pushes. She tells me to practice and practice and practice. She tells me I could do so well in piano, that I have raw talent. But sometimes she doesn’t listen when I tell her she pushes too hard. I am made of my mother and father, but I am who I am because of my sister. I exist to shield her, the way my mother shields me, to make sure her classmates don’t pull their eyes at her. I warn her about the mean teachers at school, make
sure she doesn’t make the same mistakes as I did, and share bad jokes I find online, so we can laugh together. I make fun of her anime obsession, and she makes fun of my Harry Potter one. My sister says she loves me by scrunching up her face, as a tiger does as if all parts of her face are hugging me. My sister has messy hair and a different kind of fashion sense. She wears so many colors. I fear she is too nice sometimes. She says I’m too mean sometimes. We balance each other out. My sister likes bugs and I don’t. She likes medicine and biology and science and I don’t. My sister is smart and me, a different kind of smart. When I went to college, I crossed an international border. It seemed like an adventure – it still is – but I started to miss my family. And then I started to read the news and be scared for their safety. I have two irrational, yet totally reasonable fears: first, somehow, sometime, a shooter will come to my sister’s high school and I will not be there to save her. Second, ICE will somehow, sometime, somewhere, detain my mother for any ridiculous, manufactured reason. I don’t want to be scared. But my sister doesn’t text back sometimes. And my mother is too sure of herself sometimes. When I was in elementary school and middle school, I told my classmates I was white. Not half Chinese and half white, just white. When they asked what the Y in my middle name stood for, I said Yolanda, not . I beamed when my history teacher said someone told him I looked Italian. As I got older, I began to understand my mother’s culture, I’d watch my and my , their hardworking, simple life, their attitude of respecting food and their surroundings. After fourteen years of trying to find a place to belong, I had found it in my mother’s homeland. My mandarin is still sh-t though. And while I have only just recently found the courage to be publicly proud of my Chinese heritage, I still frown at others’ tattooing Chinese characters on their arms, cutting qipaos into crop tops and miniskirts,
and putting chopsticks in their hair to look like Nicki Minaj. I frown at those who pull their eyes at me on the street, the men who’d love to bed a submissive Chinese girl or say “that’s hot” at my sexuality. I frown at those who joke that China and Korea and Japan are the same. I frown at my teachers who mistake me for the only other Asian girl in class. I frown at the people who tell me it’s just a joke when they ask if there will be cat at my thanksgiving dinner. This is possibly the third time I’ve written about identity. Each time, I pile on new metaphors, add on new labels and approach the topic in a new way. Each time I struggle to answer the same question. There are so many dimensions to the identity, the borders are not so defined. My identity is much more than my race, my sexuality, or my gender. It’s more than my socioeconomic class, life circumstances, or where I attend college. It is borrowed from my mother, father, sister, grandparents, places I’ve traveled, and the foods I’ve eaten. My identity is molded by the outings I have with friends and the inside jokes we share. I am who I am because I’ve eaten the spiceless food in my dining hall, because I’ve been locked out of my dorm, because I’ve passed out in a friend’s bed, or gotten lost on the metro. I don’t completely belong and I can’t be described by a single label. But here’s this anyway: I’m a bilingual, bisexual, biracial woman. My favorite color is lilac purple and I have a resting bitch face. I adore black coffee and hate going to class. And I’ve finally found friends that look like me. While labels exist to help us find our place in the world, to help us find peace and balance within ourselves, they also exist to constrict and exclude. That’s obvious. I’ll keep adding labels as I get older and shed the ones I don’t need anymore. But it’s my birthday, let me have noodle soup as the Chinese do. Written by QTPOC writer Cassandra Branson. Contact lunemagcontact@gmail.com with any questions. Consume more Lune content here.
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tonal values
by Mariana Gardoce Lune Magazine
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Sometimes, learning ab yourself isn't just clear in black and white. Mo often than not, there ar grey areas that can be confusing and scary to tread. Learning the importance of selfreflection is just a step the right on figuring yourself out.
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by Celia Le Lune Magazine Propaganda posters appropriated from Communist Vietnam, showing the self-strengthened nature of Indigenous Degar people.
A little island girl finds her voice continues on page 8 by JadeAnn Rowe Lune Magazine
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Our identities are multifaceted; they are not all that we are, but they make us who we are. During my nineteen years of life, I've discovered a great deal about myself. I've learned what it means for me to be me. I've grown to understand and appreciate the beauty of my ethnicity and culture. Without realizing it, I believe it has shaped me into the person I am today. I carry my cultural identity with me in the memories of my grandmother, I see it in the faces of my family, I hear it in my mother's singing voice that's better than she gives herself credit for. I feel it every time I run whether it's down the subway steps to catch my next train, or across lawns to greet my little cousin; my legs moving
aster than my mind (a trait my family swears is a product of our island). That being said, it was never hard to find (like the popular NBC show This is Us says of their character Beth Pearson) "the little island girl" inside me. Ever since I was small, I've liked the way in which water creeps up on to and ripples across your skin, how it covers your whole body, and for a few moments, you become one with the ocean. I've always loved the way the warmth of the sun feels on my body. Even on days that others remark to be too hot, I find it comforting, like a second skin, a natural part of me. Now, this may sound somewhat superficial or like I'm compartmentalizing my Jamaican
from Divisions Talent & Identify Zine‌
Model: Jacinda Luangkhot | by Michelle Ta Division/Identify
Divisions Talent Agency is a Milwaukee, Wisconsin-based model and talent agency that represents all creative talents without height, weight, and body measurement requirements. Our purpose is to be the active voice to give our community the freedom to express themselves, share their passions with us and others. We want to be more than a typical agency because we want our creative talents to be heard. So be heard. Identify Magazine focuses on providing a community for all creative talents and being their voice to share their different kinds of art forms.
Model: Kirsten Lee | by Michelle Ta Divisions/Identify
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Model: Cora Stratler | by @iamjackgrooms (IG) Divisions/Identify
Model: @rehhbel (IG) | by Miguel Jungwirth Divisions/Identify
To me, art is anything that provokes an emotion or reaction. As an ar money or fame, but for the pleasure of creating something that I like The best art that is out there comes from nature. That’s why most hum fascinated by videogames. I felt like a nerd when I wondered what ins older, I discovered that everything that we create starts as a piece writ that invigorates our senses. Everyone has a potential to create art. It s Architects are visual artist and innovators. As an architect I discovered space where people live. Our job is to provide a visual representation product is a real object that people can experience. by Rigo Varela Divisions/Identify
by Anonymous Divisions/Identify
tist, I take joy in creating art. I don’t do it for the to do. Everyone has a different style of art and taste. mans try to replicate its beauty. As a kid, I was always spired people to create videogames. Now that I am ting, drawing, sculpture, or something that we can use starts as an idea and then we apply it to our lives. d that a building is not just a square or a house with by translating an idea into a real dimension. The
Model: Michelle Ta | By Pearl Nemecek Divisions/Identify
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A little island girl finds her voice, continued from page 4 roots into merely just the water and sun. I know that it is more than that; I have grown to know that it is more than that. My cultural identity also shows itself within the food I eat. I love saltfish and dumplings on a Sunday morning, but truth be told (and I'm quite sorry to say it) I hate the taste of ackee. I love the flavor of rice and peas by itself, and I love the sound of reggae music playing softly in the background of a cookout. I love how patois becomes this second and almost secret language that allows me to go around saying "spread the bed" instead of "make it," how I don't say "I" when referring to myself in the home setting but "a." Or how "chu" and a hiss of my teeth quickly takes the place of any curse words in a moment of frustration. I love how my grandmother's voice comes back to me, soft and comforting, the lilt of her accent never to be forgotten. The cadence in which she said my name reminds me of where and who I come from, but this is not all of me. My ethnicity does not have a say in the career I choose, nor did it lead me to love singing as much as I do, nor did it tell me that I should play tennis or do ballet or learn how to play the flute. All those experiences came as a result of me finding myself apart from my physical appearance. This is the part of my identity in which I am just JadeAnn, where if you were to ask me what it meant to be me outside of all the defining categories of race, gender, sexuality, etc. this is what
you'd find. A person who's always been too curious for their own good, perhaps a bit too eager as well, who's laugh is a bit too loud for their mother's liking but is proud of who they are. I am proud to be a woman, and that is a part of my identity. I am proud to be black, and that is a part of my identity. I am proud to be my mother's daughter, and that is a part of my identity. I am proud to be Jamaican, and that is a part of my identity. Lastly, I am proud of the components of me that I bestowed upon myself as I walked daily upon this earth, how one small instance led me to pick up one new skill after the other and how they all come together to define the person I am beneath the surface. I am JadeAnn, the girl who loves to sing, read, write, and discover. Who laughs loud, who isn't a great dancer, who could probably eat a whole cheesecake by herself, who loves her friends, family, and yes even though it pains me to say it most definitely hates ackee. These are all the parts of me, this is my identity, and I am proud to be exactly who I am. Written by QTPOC writer JadeAnn Rowe. Contact lunemagcontact@gmail.com with any questions. Consume more Lune content here.
by Kimia Fariborz Lune Magazine I've always been conventionally attractive. From a young age, my appearance has been a significant part of my identity and being called a china doll was a near literal description. Beauty has continued to be a part of my life; I am a packaging designer working in the beauty industry, specifically cosmetics and hair care. I think about femininity, beauty, and what it means to take up space in the world near incessantly, from my professional to my personal life. Lately, I realized that it is a bit of a double-edged sword. I'm not so disillusioned as to think I have it worse. Rather, I think my physical appearance has made my path easier in life whether it is consciously or unconsciously. However, I also realize that my appearance is a temporary experience and continually changing. I sometimes ask myself if I put too much emphasis and pride in my appearance. After all, my entire profession exists to make people have pride in their appearance. Is it a dangerous game to love my physical self ? Or is it just discouraged by our current society to do so? Ask me in a few years when I have a few more wrinkles.
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by Nagisa Sugiyama Lune Magazine Everyone has nightmares about looking in the mirror and seeing something wrong. Whether it be missing teeth, irreparable hair, or even being another creature entirely, when the nightmare ends, people feel relieved that they’re still themselves in the mirror. However, for many of us with gender identities that differ from what was assigned, we live that nightmare in everyday life. I often have dreams where I am fully transitioned, physically and socially, but in real life, my identity is hidden under a lock and key, and I’m unable to see myself the way I do while I sleep. This is based on personal experiences, and not everyone feels gender dysphoria with their trans experience, nor do they need to.
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My identities & my politics: my support for Pete Buttigieg, a moderate candidate by Adelaine Stanleigh Lune Magazine I don’t often go on Twitter, so I guess you could call it fate when I opened the app a few months ago and saw a tweet talking about the mayor of a midwestern town, a gay military veteran whose name I couldn’t pronounce, announcing a run for President. Honestly, the biggest reason I clicked the video was so I could figure out how to say his name. Despite learning of the pronunciation early on, I was also curious about his policies so I watched his speech not knowing what it would lead to. Just a few months later, I’ve become a politically active first-time voter volunteering for his campaign, and I couldn’t be happier with my choice to click on that random article on Twitter months ago. But what’s so special about him? What led me to him, to his policies and his politics over other candidates? I get these questions a lot from friends, family, and people who spend the time to read my Pete shirt while I’m out and about. I love this question because it really took me a minute to fully formulate an answer the first time I was asked. My answer has a lot to do with labels, my identities, and how they relate to his politics. I can be described in many ways, but I usually pick just a few to answer the question. I am so many things: a future public school teacher, a woman, a young adult, and left-leaning in an overwhelmingly Republican community. First: I am a future public school teacher, specifically special education and theatre. Funding the arts and providing appropriate education for all students are issues that are a priority for me. I wanted a candidate that appreciated the importance of a creative outlet and not underestimating or ignoring students worthy of a proper education that is tailored to them. Pete Buttigieg supports increasing funding for public schools and the IDEA act, which provides students with disabilities a free and appropriate public education (FAPE). He has also stated on multiple occasions that he supports funding the arts in schools and is aware of the need for students to experience the arts as a requirement, not a luxury. Next: I am a woman. Buttigieg released a policy plan on his website titled “Building Power: A Women’s Agenda for the 21st Century” in which he details policy on the following issues: closing the pay/wealth gap, providing affordable women’s healthcare under “Medicare for All Who Want It,” ensuring safe and legal abortions, ending gender-based violence, and making his cabinet at least fifty percent female. Buttigieg’s plan is detailed, realistic, and relevant to current pressing issues the country is facing. I’m proud to support a candidate who is proud to support women and stand alongside them in the fight for women’s rights.
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I’m also a young adult. This is the first that election I can vote. Buttigieg is bound to have a unique perspective on the world, being by far the youngest candidate in the race. He’s thirty-seven. In the past three years, I have witnessed a president fire up my country with older, more ‘traditional’ values. People who hold those views are promoting racism, sexism, and generally distasteful language. I would like to part with those views and experience a president who promotes acceptance, kindness, and problem solving instead of blaming and throwing tantrums over Twitter. Hopefully, if we have a president who knows how to properly use social media, we won’t have to discover a new 140-character foreign policy in all caps every week. Finally, my politics are unique compared to those around me. I consider myself to be significantly more moderate than many of my friends, who lean far right or left, and I grew up in an overwhelmingly conservative place, where I currently reside. I am used to disagreeing with people on politics. Buttigieg’s ideas are not strikingly far left. They are democratic, they are realistic, and they are well thought out and budgeted. Take his healthcare policy, “Medicare for All Who Want It” for example. It’s a public healthcare option very similar to Sanders or Warren’s, but it doesn’t force anyone off their private insurance plans if they don’t want to use the public option. He expressed trust in the American public to make the best choice for themselves. He provides solutions without radical budgets or proposals. Buttigieg resonates with more moderate voters better than other candidates. Buttigieg is a unique candidate. He himself covers many identities and appeals to many groups of people naturally. He is a gay Christian man, midwestern mayor, military veteran, and Rhodes Scholar. He covers many bases. This unique perspective is the reason I support his presidential campaign. He understands a wide variety of people because of his own wide variety of identities and experiences. He is proof that America can have it all: a qualified, sane, and passionate person in the office of the president, and we should not settle for less. Written by News writer Adelaine Stanleigh. Contact lunemagcontact@gmail.com with any questions. Consume more Lune content here.
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It is not acting like women, it is acting like me: effiminacy. by Harmanpreet Randhawa Lune Magazine
My femininity is my masculinity: a means to prove my strength in the world where everything has to “make sense,” Where the lack of fluidity makes the youth take fluids out of themselves. My masculinity is my femininity; I feel the “supposed” weakness trying to be someone I’m told to be. Rarely, I’m actually me.
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by Diana Dalton Lune Magazine
It was a thought-provoking experience to turn my camera on myself (read: nerve-wracking!), and reflect on my own experiences as a Jewish-American, from educating myself and others about my culture to feeling a cultural disconnect from a Westernized upbringing.
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