Caclin April 2016

Lincoln University Students' Magazine | Issue 3 | April 2016

| THE ‘RE-CAP’ EDITION |

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A very tongue in cheek Quiz!

Some utterly pointless crap that you may like to know...

1. In which country can you buy ‘eel flavoured’ ice cream?

2. What is the average number of erections a day for a man?

3. How long can the ‘Nile Crocodile’ hold its breath for underwater, while waiting for prey?

4. What is the World’s youngest age for a mother?

5. Where are 1 in 10 European babies conceived?

Primark, IKEA, Tesco, 6. How many Viagra tablets are taken every second?

7. Which continent is corn not grown on?

8. What is the dirtiest item found in a home, hotel or a hospital?

9. What is Gymnophoria?

10. A female chimpanzee in a fit of passion has the strength of how many men?

1. Japan 2. 11 3. Half an hour 4. 5 years 7 months old 5. IKEA beds 6. 7 are sold each second 7. Antarctica 8. The Remote 9. The sensation that someone is mentally undressing you.

10. 6 Men Answers:

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StudentsAtLincoln

9

LUSA.org.nz lusa.nz

EDITOR & DESIGN Julia Wills

CACLIN@lusa.org.nz CONTRIBUTORS Vanessa Rhodes | Sam Budd Aimee Kingsbury | ADVERTISING Kate Ward-Smith

SALES@lusa.org.nz Contributions can be sent to

14

CACLIN@lusa.org.nz PRINTER Caclin is printed

by Wickliffe

Caclin is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Associaiton (ASPA).

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22

26

34 6 | Words from the Pres 7 | Making Lincs 8 | Revised Board 9 | Graduation Ball 14 | Photo Board - Easter Cocktail Party 18 | Live Well Week 2016 22 | Student Loans & Overseas Adventures 24 | Young Farmers Club 26 | Cleaning up After the Easter Bunny 29 | Protect Your Future 30 | Review: The Dunstan Creek SĂŠance 32 | Stuff worth doing around Town 33 | Food for Flatters 34 | Graduation: Academic Dress - The Tradition 31 | SPAM: Very much a Security Threat!

36 | Ask Aunty Flat-Tac 38 | Snapchat

33

41 | Horoscopes 43 | Sodukool

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Words from the Pres

Officially an Alumni!

I’m now officially an Alumni!

• My last mgmt. report, PFS for Bruce Grieg had 62 pages!

Graduation week was awesome! I was privileged to

Good luck third years.

attend the Sports Scholars and Future Leaders Graduation, Ra Whakamana and both the official graduation ceremonies. All of these ceremonies were fantastic and it was awesome to be a part of recognising the success of our students. Well done to our graduates!

Recap on my B.Comm (Ag) degree: • My first memories of the halls was a quiet game of BYC which ended in a compound dislocation to a boy’s toe (yes, really).

• My first mgmt. report for Tony Bywater got 37%...Don’t stress freshers, you’ll get the hang of it!

• At my last garden party I witnessed a girl cause a truck accident...it happened in a flash!

I’ve got a lot to look back on and smile at and you’ve got a lot to look forward to. So enjoy it!

I hope you’ve all had a relaxing wee break and actually did the assignments you told yourself you were going to do.

Good luck to those who are continuing their studies and best wishes to the Graduates as you head off to your new ventures in life.

• My first garden party resulted in a gash to my face and a

• During my degree I’ve completed 54 assignments, 41

Aimee Kingsbury

tests, 22 exams and about 182 of those ridiculous online

president@lusa.org.nz

trip to the medics (be careful of the bouncy castle)!

quizzes…

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LUSA

CAN HELP

Making Lincs It’s been a learning curve since starting in November last year, especially when there were a limited number of students on campus. I felt my role didn’t really start until first week of semester, but it was good having the time to prepare myself as much as possible and meet the Lincoln Uni staff.

I was fortunate to have some awesome students who put their hand up to volunteer to be a part of the LincMe Up program again this year.

There were less numbers the second time around however, we still had a laugh at the Meet and Greet, learning about each other and hearing stories of the craziest thing they have ever done. Our final meeting will be at the beginning of term two.

I have big plans for Semester two, so students out there, who would like show new students the ropes or students who would like to learn more about Lincoln Uni through the eyes of the experienced, then please let me know!

Another privilege I have been a part of is the Student Rep. process. Unfortunately, not all classes have Student Reps, but I really want to push for more in Semester two.

I have been receiving all sorts of feedback both positive comments and some learning edges. The biggest discussion has been putting resources on LEARN. My belief is all students have the right to learn in different forums and not just in a lecture room. Obviously, I don’t expect ALL learning should be handed out on a silver platter but we are individuals, therefore as individuals we live different lives, see things differently, hear things differently and learn things differently.

On another note, we have some awesome lecturers out there who go that extra mile, are approachable and really make lectures a place to be inspired.

Keep the feedback coming!!!

At some point you may come across some troubles with your lectures, or you might get sick and miss some assessments, or need some flatting or budgeting advice.

LUSA are the ones to help you out when something less than awesome happens during your academic years.

LUSA’s SAS Service is seperate from the University, and 100% confidential. If you don’t feel comfortable contacting a Lecturer, Student Rep or are unsure of the best course of action, we can help!

Contact student.support@lusa.org.nz or visit us at LUSA HQ.

Other news…

I have been enjoying students dropping in for visits and chatting about everything and anything, from Hardships, Flatting and general information. I have also been enjoying getting involved with the Thursday in Black campaign, LiveWell and getting the opportunity to meet other people in similar roles from other Universities and Institutions.

Looking forward to seeing what Term 2 brings.

Vanessa Rhodes student.support@lusa.org.nz

GET IN TOUCH WITH VANESSA. SHE’S HERE TO HELP YOU WITH ANY ISSUES YOU MIGHT HAVE AT UNI.

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Graduation Ball

Graduation Ball 2016 LUSA’s annual Grad Ball was held the night prior to Lincoln

The evening kicked off with a stunning three course buffet

Uni’s Graduation. It was a formal event, aimed to celebrate the

dinner, which included hot soup, a variety of fresh salads, pasta

achievements of the Lincoln Uni Graduates.

and carved meats as well as a delicious array of desserts, ranging from cheesecakes to gateau, fruit salad, apple pie and custard,

Grad Ball 2016 was held within the Christian Cullen Lounge at

followed by tea and coffee.

Addington Raceway, which was decked out for the night in a tropical theme! Tropical decorations in a range of bright colours

The dinner service was accompanied by jazz music from a local

including flowers, lei’s and a beach themed back drop for the

jazz trio, led by Gwyn Reynolds from the CPIT Jazz School. The

phtotobooth warmed up the evening, alongside some great

relaxing background music was ideal to allow for attendees to

lighting, the venue was transformed the into a tropical paradise!

catch up with friends, family and fellow class mates over dinner before the night kicked into party mode.

Around 300 formally dressed attendees attended the Ball and were treated with a complimentary glass of bubbles or beer upon arrival.

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Popular Cantabrian band, Smashbox took the stage from 9pm till 12am as attendees took to the dance floor as well as taking advantage of the photobooth to strike a pose with friends and family.

Overall it was a great night with everyone looking their best and having a really good time.

Sam Budd events@lusa.org.nz

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FLU CAN BE A REAL BUZZKILL

INFLUENZA FACTS:

If you’re young, fit and healthy and you’ve never had real

•

Influenza isn’t just a bad cold – it can be serious and can kill

•

A human sneeze can contain millions of individual influenza

influenza or ‘flu’ you probably think it’s no biggie.

However, the flu virus can be a real buzzkill – it’s a serious disease

viruses

that can mean you miss out on your normal activities for a week or more and you may feel ‘off your game’ for weeks afterwards.

•

Influenza virus can remain in the air, or on surfaces, for some time, so it can be very difficult to avoid

That’s because influenza can be worse than a ‘bad cold’. Real ‘flu’ can lead to complications such as pneumonia or organ

•

More than 200,000 New Zealanders contract influenza each

failure, a stay in hospital or

year. Of these, it’s estimated that approximately 400 people

even death. And it doesn’t

will die either directly or indirectly as a result of influenza

matter if you’re in the pink of health.

Influenza may infect up to

•

More than a million Kiwis get annual influenza immunisation

•

Immunisation helps prepare your immune system to fight influenza

one in five New Zealanders each winter. And many of them probably thought they

•

guarantee you will not catch flu but has been shown to

wouldn’t catch it either.

Trouble is, flu is easily spread from person to person and

significantly reduce disease and time off work •

exercise can help support

Influenza immunisation is FREE for those most at risk of complications from influenza

anyone can become infected.

A healthy diet and regular

nfluenza vaccination is moderately effective. It cannot

•

You cannot get influenza from the vaccine.

your immune system but it won’t keep flu away. Being young doesn’t make you immune to attack either.

The best way to protect yourself from influenza is to be immunised against the virus annually. Immunisation prepares and boosts your immune system to help you fight the influenza viruses circulating each year. You cannot get influenza from the vaccine.

Influenza immunisation is available from a doctor, nurse or vaccinating pharmacist now. Make an appointment today - it means you can keep doing the activities you enjoy.

For advice about influenza immunisation visit www.fightflu.co.nz or call 0800 IMMUNE 0800 466 863. The influenza vaccine is a prescription medicine. Talk to your doctor or nurse today about the benefits and possible risks.

www.fightflu.co.nz

LINCOLN UNI FREE FLU CLINICS Flu Clinics are Free for all Lincoln Students and held at the Dining Hall on these dates and times only.

Wednesday 27th April 9am- 12pm & 1pm - 4pm Thursday 28th April 5pm - 7pm Dining Hall Tuesday 3rd May 1pm - 4pm Thursday 5th May 9am - 12pm & 1pm - 4pm Thursday 12th May 9am - 12pm & 1pm - 4pm

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LTL & LUSA are pleased to present the 1st of our Bi-annual Time Out Purchases for 2016!

This round we’ve focussed on completing some of our existing series and books that insprired Box Office hits of 2016 (because the book is always better than the movie).

The Time Out Collection (Ivey Hall, Level 1) contains 2,000 books specifically selected to help you combat ‘textbook fatigue’.

With cookbooks, graphic novels, thrillers, whodunnits, and even a romance or two, we’re sure you’ll find something to entertain and relax with.

Good quality donations to this collection are always welcome, as are your suggestions, just contact LTL (AskLive) through our website.

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Photo | Easter Cocktail Board Party LUSA rang in Easter weekend early with the Easter Cocktail Party, taking place at Mrs O’s on the evening of Wednesday 23 March 2016!

A range of cocktails were consumed by over 250 attendees during the evening, including being treated with a customised complimentary cocktail upon arrival which were designed by Mrs. O’s very own master cocktail connoisseur, Tom Agnew.

Live band the D’sendantz provided entertainment throughout the evening while cocktail-dress clad attendees posed in the photobooth, danced and consumed cocktails with their peers!

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THE MOST “LIKED” PHOTO OF THE EVEING

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Live Well in the Rose Room Relaxation, Breathing and Meditation Are you after a quiet place to get away from the stressors of everyday life?

Do you need a quick break in the middle of your day? The Live Well group on campus is offering you a chance to do just that! Come to the Rose Room (behind Te Kete Ika, on the left side of the rose garden) from 12pm – 1pm, Monday – Friday for quiet time. Relaxation, breathing and meditation guides will be present four days of the week to help you find your state of peace.

Monday: 12pm – 1pm This is your own time to come and chill out.

Tuesday: 12:30pm – 1pm (Rose Room open from 12pm) Come and try Zen Pen! Half an hour of journaling, colouring-in and drawing (some items are provided, but you can also BYO) Wednesday: 12:30pm – 1pm (Rose Room open from 12pm) Indulge in our guided relaxation, breathing and meditation to ease away those mid-week worries.

Thursday: 12:30pm – 1pm (Rose Room open from 12pm) Try Qi Gong, a wonderful moving practice focusing on breathing and calmness.

Friday: 12pm – 1pm Finish off your week with some guided relaxation, breathing and meditation.

Our Guides We are very fortunate to have our amazing guides. Be sure to say “Hi” if you see them around!

Kathy Kise – PhD Student Researcher My research involves ‘following’ how people and things produce subjective wellbeing (or quality of life) at Lincoln University.

I assist with meditation because it is one of the most accessible tools we have as human beings to create an internal environment capable of creating and sustaining quality of life.

Tilak Raj – Research Assistant My name is Tilak Raj, Ph.D. Student and Yoga Teacher from India. Researching yoga to enhance athletic performance.

Teaching Guided Meditation and Breathing techniques in Rose Room on Friday afternoon.

Susan Young – PhD Student Researcher Susan Young is a new PhD student from Canada who researches and writes about spirituality and wellness.

She loves using pen and paper to journal, doodle and write her way out of everyday stress.

Dr Jackie Blunt – Student Health Doctor

Dr Jackie Blunt teaches Qigong as a moving meditation, great for relaxing and getting the body healthy and supple at the same time. She has been teaching qigong for over a decade and finds it awesome for improving mental and physical health.

Yuan Gong Qigong will be happening again Monday 12:30-1pm from May 2nd for 3 weeks in the Chill Out Zone, aka the Rose room.

Mohini Sukhapure I take breathing and relaxation sessions in the Rose Room. “Breathing” is one of the most vital activity for bodily functions, but we do not use our lungs to its fullest capacity. Breathing exercises can enhance this. I also do visualization exercise which helps one relax and channel the energy in the right direction.

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This week will bring a number of exciting conversations and initiatives onto campus. Dates are yet to be locked down, so be sure to keep an eye out for the Live Well posters around campus for more detail!

Keep an eye out for: How you can use your old cell phone to stop rain forests being cut down.

Where are our designated smoking areas?

How we are working together to provide spaces on our campus for everyone.

CanTeen – (Wednesday 18th) wear a scarf and join the group exercise class or walking group wearing your CanTeen bandana. Come and support Noelani doing her head shave.

Thursday’s in Black (Thursday 19th) – join the student/whanau movement where a different reality is possible. Where we can work towards a world without rape and violence. Where you can feel safe regardless of your beliefs, sexual orientation, political or religious views, disability (visible or not), even the way you choose to dress, because it is your right.

Pink Shirt Day (Friday 20th) – stop and speak out about bullying, show your support and lets build a healthy mental wellbeing around campus! Look for our group exercise classes, pink food and decorations.

LU 6km Walk and 10km or 18km Run (Sunday 22nd at 8am) – the very first on our campus! Put a reminder on your phone and get involved. Registrations online at the following link: http://sporty.co.nz/viewform/16533?returnUrl=http%3A%2F%2Freccentre.lincoln.ac.nz%2F

Canteen on Campus Catch up for Lincoln CanTeen Members - 16th May (12pm) A time for current and new CanTeen members to meet each other and reconnect with the Canterbury Branch. It’s a great opportunity to see what activities/camps/workshops are coming up and to have some good yarns!

Fundraising lunch for Malawi - 17th May (midday) A group of students are travelling to Malawi next year to volunteer in an orphanage and the surrounding villages. Come along for a traditional Malawi lunch to support this team!

Pink Body Pump Class - 17th May (7pm) Dress in pink and join in on Body Pump in support of CanTeen!

Noelani’s Head Shave - 18th May (12pm) Noelani has volunteered

to shave her head for CanTeen! Come along in UFT time to support her (a Give A Little donation page has been set up in support of this event), and young people who are living with cancer! See next page for more details.

Throughout the week there will be bandannas on sale around campus, with all funds going to CanTeen.

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I know too many people that have been affected by cancer! Friends, family, all sorts of loved ones… the list goes on. It hurts me to watch my loved ones live with cancer, but I know that in the end what I’m feeling is nothing compared to what they are enduring. So, I’ve decided to shave my head in solidarity with young people coping with cancer and donate my proceeds to CanTeen, a non-profit that helps young people cope with cancer. People our age should be living the time of our lives, not struggling with this horrible disease. Shaving my head is nothing compared to what they have to go through on a daily basis, and if I can do this to help just that little bit, then that’s what I’m going to do. I’d like to encourage anyone else to join in and commit to shave on this day, too.

Wednesday 18th May

Noelanoi

Buy or Bake

LIVE WELL WEEK 16th-22nd MAY 2016

Please contact me at: Noelani.

Velasquez@lincoln.ac.nz Go to my Give A Little Page today to donate to a great cause: https://givealittle. co.nz/fundraiser/ lushave2save#

We had great result from the ‘Fill your Boots for Fiji’ Fundraiser. Thank you to all those wonderful people that provided some of the most scrumptious baking we’ve ever seen; Meringue Roulade, Carrot Cake, Tan Slice, Easter Cupcakes, Banana Cakes Fruit Flan and so much more.

The contribution of the baking and those that purchased this wonderful baking, held on Wednesday 23rd March at 1pm, raised $727.40 This combined with the money collected from Red Cross tins, a total of $860.00 was raised for the Fiji Appeal!

Well done everyone.

Fiji Appeal Bake-off Team

A thank you to the LU Community.

On behalf of all the Fijian students at LU, I ‘d like to take this opportunity to say a very big heartfelt ‘thank you’ to the Lincoln Community.

Todays ‘Buy or Bake’ sale was not just any

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Have you got an old smart phone lying around at home that you want to get rid of? Well, if you do make sure to bring it along to Live Well Week! We will be giving your unused phones a second life by supporting a charity called Rainforest Connection. This charity works to prevent illegal logging in some of the world’s most precious rainforests.

So how does it work? They take your unused smart phone, rewire it and then attach it to a solar panel device. These devices are attached to trees around the rainforest and as soon as the noise of a chainsaw is detected a text is sent to the nearest ranger. The ranger can then go and shut the logging operation down, protecting the rainforest one tree at a time.

A collection bin will be set up outside the library, so please bring your old phones a long and help make a difference!

Get Rid of your Old Phone

Mmm. Meringue Roulade, Carrot Cake, Tan Slice, Easter Cupcakes, Banana Cake, Fruit Flan...

Supporting Victims of Cyclone Winston ordinary event. Your love, kindness and donations will

of love and care shown from our fellow brother and

mean that Fijians will be able to be provided with food

sisters in New Zealand and around the world. Thank you

and clean water to eat and drink. Children will be able

for giving Fijians the best Easter gift. We pray that the

to go back to school and families will be able to have a

almighty bless each and every LU community member.

roof over their heads once more at night and Fiji will rise again! We Fijians are over whelmed by the amount

Nitesh.

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Student Loans & Overseas Adventures...

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PLANNING ON TRAVELLING OR LIVING OVERSEAS? Well, don’t forget about your Student Loan.

Interest is generally charged on your student loan if you go overseas for 6 months or more, so it’s important to keep on top of your loan.

I’M GOING OVERSEAS FOR LESS THAN 6 MONTHS Your loan will remain interest-free if you’re going overseas for about 6 months and you’ve have been living in New Zealand for at least 6 months prior to leaving. You’ll still see interest being applied but this is automatically written off.

NOTE: If you travel overseas for less than 6 months on a regular basis, your loan will remain interest-free as long you’re back in New Zealand for 32 days or more before you leave again.

I’M GOING OVERSEAS FOR 6 MONTHS OR MORE You will need to let the IRD know if you’re going to be overseas for (about 6 months or more. The easiest way to do this, if you also want to apply for a repayment holiday, is to complete the form in your myIR Secure Online Services account.

•

Login to myIR Secure Online Services

•

Register for myIR Secure Online Services

Otherwise send IRD secure mail through your myIR account or call us on 0800377778 (+64 3 951 2020 from overseas).

You’ll need to include: •

Your departure date

•

How long you intend to be away, and

•

Any repayment holiday information.

You’ll become an overseas-based borrower if you’ll be overseas for about 6 months or more. This means you’ll have different repayment obligations and your loan will no longer be interest-free.

NOTE: Interest applies to your student loan from the day after you leave New Zealand.

MORE INFO. http://www.ird.govt.nz/studentloans/overseas

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YOUNG FARMERS CLUB • clubs Young Farmers Club - North Canterbury Tour March 2016 Important dates coming up...

On the weekend of the 12th of

started from. After that we headed

March, 40 Lincoln Young Farmers

inland and stopped at Stone Jug

members took a tour through North

deer farm for lunch. Island Hills in

Canterbury; stopping for a night

Culverden was the last stop, a cattle,

in Kaikoura, and then a night in

sheep and bee farm. After dinner at

Hanmer. The first day we visited Mt

the local restaurant in Hanmer, they

May 22nd - Tour through Rakaia

Guardian – a Perendale stud farm,

provided the greatest one man band

Gorge

and Te Mania – an Angus stud farm

performance the history of LYF has

where we stopped for a BBQ dinner.

ever seen, that plus the romantic 7km

That night in Kaikoura started off as

walk home full of sing-along’s and

casual drinks, but in the name of LYF

signposts trying to pick fights.

May 2nd - LYF Meeting in Mrs O’s May 14th - Taege Factory Tour

July 19th-21st - Hunting Comp.

we all know that’s never how it turns Sunday was full of stop driving so fast

out...

round corners, and wet clothes from On the second day, the tour started

people ‘loosing’ their footing; safe to

off with a cheese shop and then to

say one of the best trips of LYF so far.

the Goat Farm that the cheese shop

If you’re interested in joining a club there are many others that Lincoln University Students’ Association can help you find! Just email us LUSA. Caclin Issue 3 | 24

clubs@lincoln.ac.nz or pop into the bright blue building and ask for Sam.

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Cleaning up after the Easter Bunny!

Julia Wills

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Like Christmas, Easter is often a holiday

hungry. Have you been left craving

period when we eat crap and drink way

cream eggs like there’s no tomorrow? I

too much. If you’re like me and love the

have. You can take control now! These

odd hot cross bun (smothered in butter),

are all signs of poor blood sugar control.

and many bottle of cider...you’re also left

The aisle of value is lined up with an array of shiny silver a regal purple chocolate eggs and the smell of the hot-cross buns in the bakery are doing my head in - and then there are the Easter specials on booze! I say I’m only going to buy eggs for Mum and Dad and maybe Grandma but who am I kidding?!

Nobody wants to hold back on Easter celebrations, but we all feel the familiar slump by the time we head back to the books.

Here I have 6 reasons why you should consider detoxing after your annual Easter binge, so you can bounce back the way the Easter Bunny bounced on in to your lives!

with a spare tire around your tummy

Starting the day with a meal that

and a feeling of guilt. I’m telling myself

contains adequate levels of protein

and you that this is completely normal,

and healthy fats means that blood

and definitely not something you need

sugar levels will be stable for hours

to beat yourself up over. But at least I

afterwards and you won’t be reaching

am recognising that my body could be

for that morning tea slice of cake! Stop

in a better state (and shape!) and am

those sugar cravings now and include

looking at doing something about it to

protein in each meal throughout the day

aid in detoxification after all the junk I

(such as eggs, fish, red meat, etc.) along

pumped into myself over Easter.

with some healthy fats (such as avocado,

So, here are some simple things you

coconut oil, nuts and seeds). One of my

can do to aid in cleaning up after that

favourite breakfasts to prevent a crash in blood sugar levels is poached eggs

naughty Easter Bunny!

on wholegrain toast with spinach and

Dehydration I know that there is caffeine in cocoa and a lot of cocoa in chocolate...so I’m ready to swap my daily caffeine hit

avocado. Mmm so good!

Left with a tire around your tummy and a feeling of guilt.

for herbal teas, like ginger, chamomile or peppermint, as herbal tea ‘aids in hydration and offers an abundance of health promoting effects’.

Coffee is dehydrating and robs your body of essential minerals. Oh, beloved coffee...why so evil?!

Hydration is essential for good health and detoxification. Drinking at least two litres of water each day, will aid your body to cleanse, alkalise and flush out toxins! (and Christchurch water is the best in the world, I say!) Add the juice of half a lemon to a cup of warm water first thing in the morning for the perfect way to wake up and refresh. I’m only just getting used to this new routine of having this daily...a habit takes twenty

Lethargic Liver The liver is the first line in our body’s natural detoxification process. It regulates you fat, hormones, digestion and circulation by filtering all the good stuff we eat and drink, and rejecting the crap. Pretty

amazing really. And during Easter, I’m pretty sure this ratio heavily favoured the junk and alcohol! My poor liver was working hard...

Did you

know a build up of too many toxins from alcohol and junk food means your liver can become blocked, fatty or bloated. The result? You will feel: sluggish, tired, may gain weight, suffer headaches, have bad digestion i.e gas, and bad skin. Argh! I know I did feel very sluggish un-packing and getting ready to head back to work. So, make sure you get stuck into fresh, nature giving foods, which keeps your liver clean and healthy, and even helps restore all

days to form FYI.

the damage you did over the holidays!

Too much Sugar!

apples, onions, garlic, and pumpkin are

Your blood-sugar levels are the first to suffer from too much chocolate. Sugary junk food gives you a ‘hit’, which is a spike in energy, but it won’t last long.

Ever wondered why you’re so lethargic by the end of Easter Sunday and you didn’t drink? It’s because these sharp spikes are quickly followed by sharp dips. These dips also result in being more

Leafy greens, fresh fruits, broccoli, kale, all great choices.

Zits!

Find yourself developing extra pimples or dry skin after Easter? Your body sweats as a way to get rid of toxins, so the more chocolate you’re eating the more toxins make their way to your skin. Sweating through exercise is a Caclin Issue 3 | 27

great way to rid your body of these toxins but why not reverse these effects by cutting out the bad stuff too. Thats what I’ll be doing over the next few weeks - I’m going to miss you Mr. Big Mac!

Bad Breath Some sugars found in junk food fuel the bacteria in your mouth. This not only results in bad breath, but it can end up building thick layers of plaque on your teeth and gums which means even worse breath and a range of oral diseases! Do yourself and those around you a favour by following your Easter chocolate binge with a few weeks of completely healthy eating to get your breath fresh again and save a trip to the dreaded dentist!

Killer Kidneys Alcohol might not be a traditional part of Easter indulgences, but they’re a common part of Kiwi celebrations. This, along with extra sugar and refined carbs, puts enormous pressure on your kidneys making it much harder for them to do their job and remove the toxins from your blood.

Did you know, on average, kidneys process about 200 litres of blood and produce about the same amount of urine each day?!

I’m going to give these hard-working organs a chance by only feeding my body healthy, nutritious foods, so fewer toxins enter the tank which means my kidneys can get rid of them much faster.

So, I’m going to ‘cut the crap’ and the late nights and start implementing these small changes by putting them into my daily routine...whose with me?!...guys?

| Julia Wills

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your Get a Job Networking Event LUSA joined forces with the Lincoln University Employment and Careers Department to produce the 2016 Protect Your Future- Get a Job! Networking Evening on Tuesday the 22nd of March.

This free networking event was held in the brand spanking new Student Workshop with over forty external businesses, which came from a variety of professions. They were on site to meet and network with potential future employees, volunteers and interns, as well as to answer any questions regarding their organisations and fields of expertise.

Over 450 students attended the event between 5.30pm – 7.30pm, leaving with a bunch of great advice, contacts and networks (not to mention plenty of freebies!) which will benefit them with their future careers and study.

| Sam Budd

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REVIEW: THE DUNSTAN CREEK SÉANCE

What really did happen at Dunstan Creek?

Some years ago noted occultists Suzanne & Arthur Bishop were called in by the Collins family of Cashmere to investigate paranormal activity in their home...

Suzanne and Arthur can’t help what unfolds next and the audience is willing it on with captive anticipation. They go in and out of character between themselves and a couple from the gold rush era (Rose and Ben) and from here on out is when you really start to grip onto the edge of your seats.

Based on real life accounts of early New Zealand hauntings, this spine chilling production will make you question every shadow and sleep with the lights on!

WARNING: Show contains paranormal activity and is not suitable for those with a nervous disposition.

As you walk to your seats through the hallway, past old trinkets and mysterious figures in photos, you know this isn’t going to be any ordinary theatre performance.

Occultists Susanne and Arthur Bishop (Lizzie Tollemache and David Ladderman) are there to launch their new book “Ghosts of the Gold Rush Hauntings of Central Otago”.

The Dunstan Creek Séance: Written by, & featuring: Lizzie Tollemache & David Ladderman Directed by: Daniel Pengelly In the Pub Charity Studio, The Forge at The Court

Arthur has a slight nervous disposition, reading from his cue cards and Susanne keeps the presentation flowing with her calm smoky voice with clicks of the slide projector.

But all is not what it seems and the presence that they unleashed during their infamous experiment that lost them their jobs and put a young woman in hospital is not ready to rest!

Caclin Issue 3 | 30

To Book visit: www.courttheatre.org.nz.

Ticket Prices: Under 25 from $23 Groups 10+ from $30 Adults from $35 Show Times: 8:00pm, Monday – Saturday Runs: 16th April - 7th May 2016 Julia Wills

SPAM

No, this is not an April fool’s article. SPAM is very much a security threat, a global one, and the threat should not be taken lightly.

PHISHING & SPAM Phishing and SPAM cost individuals and organisations significant amounts of real money.

A recent article estimated USD$71billion annually for the US alone! There is so much SPAM about, purely and simply because organised criminals make money from it!

• • •

Identity Theft Email Address Spoofing Hoax or Ghosting

These are very real and there are consequences, real consequences if you fall prey to these traps. This is fraud and it is a crime. That does not mean it doesn’t happen. It’s a crime because it does happen and it’s a global threat. Check out the global SPAM map.

Think Twice If you are invited to enter details, ANY DETAILS, think twice about doing so.

No one deserves to have their home burgled and equally, no one deserves to have their identity compromised, online or actual!

If you are looking for services online, and let’s face it there’s simply no avoiding it today. Do your homework BEFORE you provide ANY details, that even includes an email address! Active email addresses are worth money to the wrong people. If you are offered a deal which is last chance, last minute, best price, buy now… do some homework. Ask others, google it, check their online presence, phone first, check with your IT support team. But if you have any doubts DO NOTHING, it is better to be safe than sorry.

We’re not talking about the Monty Python skit ‘SPAM SPAM SPAM sausages and SPAM’, rather, the aggravating a flood of unsolicited messages that clog the internet and increasingly our mailboxes and cell phones as there’s instant messaging SPAM too.

Depending on which source you view, SPAM generally out strips actual email by at least 10:1. That doesn’t sound too bad, however trying to identify and filter valid email from SPAM continues to get more complicated, especially given it’s volume, whic continually increases.

If you receive an email, and you do not know the sender, or even if you do know where it’s from but you’re not expecting it, be suspicious, irrespective of whether it is to either a private or business email address. Odds are it’s not legit.

The New Zealand Department of Internal Affairs have great resources available if you want NZ specifics, as well as more information on avoiding SPAM. An email with attachments or invites to click links to websites should by default be considered suspect unless you are 100% positive that they are valid (like links in hub articles). But simply because you may have received safe messages from a person or business previously, it is not a sufficient basis to say all their messages will be AOK. There are options for sharing files and all of us here at Lincoln have access to OneDrive for Business or the Lincoln Dropbox service.

There are many options.

If you are unsure ask ITHelp.

This article refers to an issue we see regularly, where you are advised by your friendly IT crew that your email or network account will expire unless you do this…. DON’T DO IT! To quote the article:

“In case you think phishing and other web scams and frauds are not really serious but just a nuisance, then a browse (courtesy of Google) of past cases makes chilling reading.”

“In 2006 a research group concluded internet fraud cost the UK economy £150million a year, with the average victim losing £31,000” There are quite a few things you can do to isolate the fallout from identity theft; • • •

Have different complex passwords for each service.

Use two factor authentication where it is available Keep your antivirus up to date

While these are real things you can and should do the single best thing you can do is not reply to messages you are not 100% sure of.

Regards, Lincoln University IT Team.

Caclin Issue 3 | 31

Stu ff Worth Doing Arou nd Town!

Hendrix Revolution Tour Thursday 19th May

Kaiapoi Farmers Market Saturday 30th April A community farmers market with fresh produce, microgreens, Poppy’s Pantry, plants and free range eggs. Craft available also. Come on down we are a friendly market and happy to give advice and meet the community. |Morgan Williams Reserve |FREE |9am - 12pm |www.kaiapoimarket.co.nz

As seen on TV3’s Chopper’s Republic of Anzakistan and 7 Days. After taking the former countries of New Zealand and Australia, throwing out the shit bits, and creating the world’s newest superpower Anzakistan, Chopper is back and ready to lay down the law.

The world lost one of the greatest musician’s when Jimi Hendrix died in 1970. It was a legacy that was far too short but made an indelible mark in music and popular culture. Many musicians have followed him. Many have tried to copy his unique style and every guitarist in the world dreams of emulating his talent.

There is only one man in this world to truly match this legacy – Randy Hansen.

|Isaac Theatre Royal

|Isaac Theatre Royal

|$42 - $45

|www.hendrixrevolutiontour.com

Heath Franklin’s Chopper Live From Anzakistan Wednesday 18th May

|www.comedyfestival.co.nz

Monza Craft Beer Tasting & Matching Thursday 28 April

Penrith Panthers v Vodafone Warriors Saturday 14th May Christchurch City will see the return of the NRL with the Penrith Panthers bringing their Round 10 home game against the NZ Warriors to AMI Stadium. |AMI Stadium |$29 - $59 |5pm |www.enthdegree.co.nz Caclin Issue 3 | 32

Join Monza Sports Bar and Emerson’s Brewery for a Craft Beer Tasting & Matching evening! |Monza Sports Bar |$15PP |7.30pm - 8.30pm |christchurchcasino.nz/en/ whats-on/craft-beer

Iron Maiden - The Book of Souls World Tour 2016 Friday 29 April Rock legends IRON MAIDEN, will make a massively anticipated return to New Zealand. They fly in on their enormous Boeing 747-400 jumbo jet Ed Force One, piloted by vocalist Bruce Dickinson and carrying band, crew and stage production and equipment! |Horncastle Arena |7.30pm |ironmaiden.com/tours/thebook-of-souls-world-tour---2016

Burgers

Once considered being a quintessential meal for Americans, the burger has become part of a daily food habit. Burgers are are ready to eat, easy to get and can be eaten while working!

Here are a few things you may have not known about the faithful burger:

1.

‘Burger’ is actually a shortened name. The actual name is Hamburger. The name Hamburger was derived from Hamburg steaks that were introduced to the US by German immigrants.

4.

2.

In America alone, 50 billion burgers are eaten in one single year! Thats a lot of burgers!

One of the most expensive burgers to ever be made & sold, was the ‘FleurBurger5000’. This thing was made from black truffles, foie gras and Kobe beef. The burger was served along with a bottle of Chateau Petrus, 1990. It was sold in Las Vegas’ Fleur de Lys. Can you guess the price? It was a staggering $5,000USD for one burger!

5.

3.

How big was the biggest Hamburger? Well, it was a giant. In 1982 10,000 people came to taste the largest Hamburger ever built. Even if it was just a single bite; imagine the mammoth size that was needed to feed those 10,000 mouths.

The burger weighed a staggering 1629kg.

In 1921, the first fast food restaurant was opened which sold hamburgers for just 5 cents!

6.

A study conducted in 1995, found that an average 100gms of beef in a burger, consisted of meat from 1000 different cows! Even worse, ground beef is taken from least appetizing portions of cows.

Caclin Issue 3 | 33

“Bye To We’ll m, Miss You!”

Caclin Issue 3 | 34

In keeping with English universities, those in New Zealand have a system of academic dress which is worn by graduates to indicate their degree. The Lincoln University undergraduate gown is black with green facings.

Qualification: Bachelor of Commerce (Ag), Master of Commerce (Ag), Bachelor of Commerce (VPM), Bachelor of Commerce (T&L), Bachelor of Commerce (H&IM), Bachelor of Commerce (Forestry), Bachelor of Commerce (Food Industry), Master of Property

Graduation 2016 | Academic Dress - the tradition:

Studies, Master of Professional Studies Colour: Spectrum orange Qualification:Bachelor of Sports and Recreation Management, Bachelor of Sports and Recreation Management (Hons), Master of Sports and Recreation Management Colour: Neyron rose Qualification: Bachelor of Tourism Management, Bachelor of Tourism Management (Hons), Master of Tourism Management Colour: Dusty pink Qualification: Bachelor of Landscape Architecture, Bachelor of Landscape Architecture (Hons), Master of Landscape Architecture Colour: Chartreuse yellow Qualification: Bachelor of Environmental Management, Bachelor of Environmental Management and Policy, Bachelor of Environmental

Gowns for Lincoln University degrees, except for doctorates, are

Policy and Planning (Hons), Master of Resource Studies

black. The Lincoln University PhD gown is black with blue facings,

Colour: Mauve

while for higher doctorates the gowns are red with facings of blue (Doctor of Science), gold (Doctor of Commerce) or green (Doctor of

Qualification: Master of Natural Resource Management and

Natural Resources).

Environmental Engineering Colour: Violet Qualification: Bachelor of Software and Information Technology, Bachelor of Software and Information Technology (Hons), Master

Qualification: Bachelor of Agriculture, Bachelor of Agricultural Science, Bachelor of Agricultural Science (Hons), Master of

of Software and Information Technology Colour: Turquiose

Agricultural Science

Qualification: Bachelor of Social Science, Bachelor of Social Science

Colour: Emerald green

(Hons), Master of Social Science

Qualification: Bachelor of Horticulture, Bachelor of Horticultural

Colour: Cherry red

Science, Bachelor of Horticultural Science (Hons), Master of

Qualification: Bachelor of Viticulture and Oenology, Bachelor of

Horticultural Science

Viticulture and Oenology (Hons)

Colour: Pea green

Colour: Champagne

Qualification: Bachelor of Science, Bachelor of Science (Hons),

Qualification: Ph.D

Master of Science, Master of Applied Science

Colour: Ultramarine and Indian yellow

Colour: Ultramarine Qualification: Undergraduate Diploma Qualification: Bachelor of Commerce and Management,

Colour: Black gown with emerald green facings

Bachelor of Commerce, Bachelor of Commerce (Hons). Master of Commerce and Management

Qualification: Postgraduate Diploma and Certificates

Colour: Indian yellow

Colour: Lincoln Grey Caclin Issue 3 | 35

When sh*t gets UGLY… Ask Aunty Flat-tac!

I have a thing for my flatmate...

We have been good friends for a while and now we are living together, with 4 other people. I try to play it cool and not make a dick of myself, but I don’t want to let onto the boys because I know they will give me shit.

It’s sunny outside and love is in the air! Young love… well firstly, you’re young, so you are going to like a lot of ladies so move on.

Secondly, have you not heard the saying ‘don’t screw the crew’!

NEXT!

Broke Ass. I am currently flatting at the moment and never seem to have any money. I work part-time but between Uni and the hours I do at the moment, I don’t have time for extra work.

Well don’t be like the guy before and spend money on your spouse or a crush… if you do have a partner, just let them know, they will reap the rewards when you graduate and get an awesome job, until then, they can put up with homemade cards and flowers from down the road.

On a serious note… BUDGET is your answer.

Work out what your expenditures are and your income.

More info: www.sorted.org.nz. You will probably realise you are spending more than you are earning. Just because you are going cheap doesn’t mean you have to be nasty about it. For food try out www.studentrecipes.com. Going out into town…

Firstly DON’T DRINK SO MUCH, secondly, work out what’s the cheapest beverage you like. Don’t come complaining to me if you are buying shots all night.

Save the big nights to the ones you actually know you will enjoy.

If there is one thing I can pass on is that there will always be a better, bigger night out than the previous one, so don’t feel like you have to make all of them massive. And let’s be honest… the next day, the first words coming out of your mouth are; ‘I am never drinking again!’

Drinking and Food - Do I need to cover anything more for a student… I don’t think so. But ask if there is, I’m not a mind reader.

• Never go grocery shopping when you are hungry!

• Always pay bills on time to avoid late fees. If you can’t, just call them, most places will work out instalment plans, • Walk away from that credit card… if you don’t have it, you don’t have it. End of.

• Student Discount – Community Service Card people!

Caclin Issue 3 | 36

• Websites: 1-Day, GrabOne, Grabaseat – don’t be an idiot and pay full price for anything.

• Sell stuff you don’t use, wear or like.

• Be smart about your buying. No one cares if you aren’t wearing the latest trend.

• Lastly, go to freaken class. You are paying for it so don’t waste your money!

I need a flat for next semester.

Looking at moving into a flat next semester but don’t know where to start. Help?

Good question… thank you!

Firstly, you have to ask yourself, “Who am I going to live with?”

“Are they going to be reliable to pay bills on time?” and “Are they going to be complete weirdos and leave skids in the toilet all the time?!”

Secondly, what are you willing to pay?

Remember to think about power, phone, Wifi and anything else that might pop up. This could include essential food and cleaning items. Having a flat account is a great idea!

What to look for in a flat? Heating. Do you really care what type of flat you want? Cheap is best. You just have to survive a few years in a sh*thole of a flat...not long in the scheme of things.

Once you have found a place there are a few things you need to remember, so crap doesn’t hit the fan during your lease agreement and when you move out.

• Get an Entry Report from landlord and agency • Take photos of the house before you move in.

• Make sure all tenants are on the tenancy agreement. If not, PLEASE make sure you work out a Flatting Agreement.

You can find templates on the Tenancy Service website. Just because they are your friends now, it does not mean they will be your friends after living together.

• Landlords or Agencies need to lodge your bond within 23 working days of receiving it. Tenants should get a receipt.

As a tenant you should receive a letter/email confirming your bond has been lodged within six weeks.

• The landlord can ask for bond money up to the equivalent of 4 weeks.

• If the Landlord promises something i.e. new heat pump, make sure they own up. Ask them to put it in an email or in the tenancy agreement before you sign and move in.

• DON’T pay bond without a signed tenancy agreement.

That was a lot of thinking…. There are different situations for different cases but these are the general rules.

Ask if you are unsure.

THURSDAYS IN BLACK CAMPAIGN has been promoted on Thursday’s for a couple of months now.

You might have seen us around campus, at the library, The Workshop or the Foyer of the Forbes building.

Wherever we are, please stop by and have a chat about Thursday In Black and/or how you can support!

We have recently started a question box and the first questions was: ‘The age group 16-24 years is at the highest risk of sexual assault in any age group. True or False?’

All of the answers from students indicated True, which is accurate.

This age group are four times more likely to be sexually assaulted than any other age group.

Join us in supporting: “Thursdays in Black” - solidarity and advocacy against all forms of sexual and gender based violence.

Email Aunty Flat-Tac today with your Flatting & Life troubles caclin@lusa.org.nz Caclin Issue 3 | 37

LUSA.NZ ADD US TODAY!

Caclin Issue 3 | 38

WINNING SNAPACHAT IS...

‘MAZDA CAME IN GOOD 4 SOMETHING’ WASHINGTON308 COME INTO LUSA’S RECEPTION TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE!

Caclin Issue 3 | 39

Random Laughs

Caclin Issue 3 | 40

TOTALLY DUMB [NOT AT ALL] ACCURATE

ARIES MARCH 21 – APRIL 20 Setting goals and acheiving them are your strong points, and this weekend will be no different. You WILL drink ALL the beers.

Lucky colour: Grad Ball Spray tan Orange Lucky number: 7

HOROSCOPES

GEMINI MAY 22 – JUNE 21 You’re redbands will spring a leak this month. Don’t despair as luck is just around the corner...yep, keep going... you’re almost there.

TAURUS APRIL 21 – MAY 21

Lucky colour: Red & Black Lucky number: 105

You have the smarts, use them. If you find out who the killer is, tell somebody.

Lucky colour: Death Black Lucky number: 539

CANCER VIRGO

JUNE 22 – JULY 23 Please stop trying to stuff 16 bread rolls into the bag when it says ‘Limit 10’ at Lincoln New World; it’s stealing.

Lucky colour: Yeasty Yellow Lucky number: 16

AUG 24 – SEP 23

LEO Horoscopes JULY 24 – AUG 23 Reaching for the closest drink and drinking it, may get you into a spot of bother this month.

Always follow your dreams, except for the ones where you are running naked through your lecture.

Lucky colour: Bogan Lucky number: 0000000.1

Lucky colour: Cold Sweats Grey Lucky number: 99

LIBRA

SAGITTARIUS

SEPT 24 – OCT 23

NOV 23 – DEC 22

Invest in more toilet paper and read the best before dates on food items.

SCORPIO

Lucky colour: Runny Bum Brown

OCT 24 – NOV 22

Lucky number: 18

Personal growth, financial success, and romantic fulfillment await you in the coming month. As does wishful thinking.

Lucky colour: Venerial Purple

Money can’t buy happiness, but let’s be honest: If you had a pimpin’ pad filled with ferrari’s and hos, you’d be reasonably stoked.

Lucky colour: A&E Red Lucky number: 111

Lucky number: 666

CAPRICORN DEC 23 – JAN 20 If you’re unhappy about being taken for a ride, then you really need to stop being the town bike. Seriously, have some standards.

Lucky colour: Bicycle Blue Lucky number: 9

PISCES AQUARIUS

FEB 20 – MARCH 20

JAN 21 – FEB 19

Love is in the air as you may have been conceived at someone’s wedding. This is in your blood now, so, you will find yourself looking at the opposite sex at functions with intrigue this month.

Your stars are aligned and indicate that you will find the best parking spaces on campus this month. Winning!

Lucky colour: Red goes faster Lucky number: 0 to 100

Lucky colour: Lucky Red Lucky number: 2 Caclin Issue 3 | 41

This Month in History 1965 1874 1978

1856

1968

1973

Tasman Empire Airways Limited (TEAL), New Zealand’s international airline, was renamed Air New Zealand Limited.

Accident Compensation Commission comes into operation.

Maori houses (whare) were made of natural materials that had good thermal performance or kept out the wind. European-style timber frame construction was less efficient at retaining heat, but it was not until 1978 that the level of thermal insulation required in new houses was specified by law.

The first state secondary school in New Zealand, Nelson College, opened in temporary premises in Trafalgar St with a roll of just eight boys. It eventually attracted boys from around the country as well as the local area. It now has a roll of over 1000 pupils.

The ferry Wahine, with 734 passengers and crew on board, was en route from Lyttelton to Wellington when it fell victim to one of the most ferocious storms in New Zealand’s recorded history.

With the loss of 53 lives, this is our worst maritime disaster.

Labour government cancels the Springbok rugby tour, as they saw ‘no alternative’ to a ‘postponement’ tour by the South Africans. Police said that if the tour went ahead it would ‘engender the greatest eruption of violence this country has ever known’,

Caclin Issue 3 | 42

SUDOKOOL

(Like Sudoku, but with a hint of cool ... sort of ... not really)

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simple

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reasonably doable

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pretty tricky

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perfectly evil

Caclin Issue 3 | 43