Caclin May 2016

Lincoln University Students' Magazine | Issue 4 | May 2016

CACLIN

CAN YOU FILL THE PRES’ SHOES? | P.9 WINTERFEST 2016 | P.12 WHATEVER HAPPENED TO RAM? | P.20

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StudentsAtLincoln LUSA.org.nz

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lusa.nz

EDITOR & DESIGN Julia Wills

CACLIN@lusa.org.nz CONTRIBUTORS Vanessa Rhodes | Sam Budd Aimee Kingsbury | Jayne Smith Abigail Jones | Amelia Woulfe Graeme Campbell

ADVERTISING Kate Ward-Smith

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SALES@lusa.org.nz Contributions can be sent to

CACLIN@lusa.org.nz PRINTER Caclin is printed

by Wickliffe

Caclin is a member of the Aotearoa Student

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28

34

38

6 | Words from the Pres 8 | Notices 9 | Can you fill the Pres’ Shoes?

12 | Winterfest 2016 - Re-O’Week!

20 | What ever happened to RAM? 22 | Live Well Week 2016 28 | Nick’s Story 31 | Sweet As / Stink One! 33 | Stuff Worth Doing Around Town 34 | Student Debt 36 | Snapchats 38 | This Month in History 40 | Random Laughs 41 | Horoscopes 42 | Procrastination Station

36 Caclin Issue 4 | 5

Words from the Pres Leaving on a Jet Plane...

‘Crickey’ we’re already in May!

LUSA’s is doing Study Stall for you guys again this semester.

The year is disappearing fast and you’ve almost made it

Keep an eye out for the FREE tea, coffee, Milo and food in the

through semester one. Exams are approaching quickly so,

Library foyer from 30th May till the 10th of June.

you’ve got two weeks to cram 12 weeks of study in, good luck!

Stressing over your exams? Don’t panic! Come see Vanessa I have recently resigned as President as I’m off to New York!

and the team at LUSA, we’ve got some sweet stress remedies

I’ve taken up an awesome job as an intern with a massive

and some brilliant chat that’ll brighten any anxious student’s

logistics company called Kuehne and Nagel and I start in June!

day. So I’m out, enjoy your year; study hard and play harder!

I have thoroughly enjoyed my job as President, it’s been a blast but life has come knocking with a fabulous opportunity that I can’t turn down. Ali Webb, LUSA’s VP will step up as interim-President until a new one is appointed through a byelection, she and the rest of the Board will do a wicked job - so don’t worry you’re in good hands!

Lincoln University and LUSA have a bright an exciting future ahead and I am disappointed that I will not be a part of it anymore but I am optimistic for Lincoln, it looks to grow into a phenomenal institution with Professor Pollard and Council’s guidance.

I wish all the students, staff and Lincoln’s associates all the best for the remainder of the year and into the future.

My last official day is the 24th of May 2016 so please do not hesitate to pop over to LUSA or contact me if you have any further questions.

If you’re interested in joining the LUSA team and contributing to Lincoln’s student experience, drop into LUSA to find out a bit more about being President!

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Good luck Lincoln!

Aimee Kingsbury president@lusa.org.nz

From the Ed.

SAS.

Welcome to another issue of Caclin. It’s almost the end of May but

Be a Star!

doesn’t feel like it, its been so warm! Not complaining though. I am complaining about the Bachelor though!

LUSA is working on an exciting new project and need a few

Winterfest is on it’s way and we are super excited about all the

charismatic students to be the face of a 90 sec video!

wicked events we have lined up for you.

We also need students to help out in the background.

Flat of the Month will be back in Semester Two, bigger and better.

We know you have been missing all its shits and giggles that is gives you. Plus we have a wee surprise in store for you next

If you want to get a taste of the high celebrity life, please contact Vanessa.

Semester! There is a hint in the magazine.

Sad news though - the ole’ Pres is leaving...Sniff sniff. The team here at LUSA are so proud of Aimee. She has really found her feet here as President, and since the start of the year, she has really sky rocketed in her role and as a person...to the starts...literally she is off the States to be exact! We wish her all the best for the future and hope that she’ll be back one day to ‘pop into LUSA’ and tell us all about her great adventures. We’ll miss your ‘to the point, no mucking around attitude’ and of course your sharp, humerous wit.

As always, I hope you enjoy the small distraction from your lectures & studying by reading this. Peace Out.

Vanessa Rhodes student.support@lusa.org.nz

Julia Wills caclin@lusa.org.nz

LUSA IS LOOKING FOR A NEW PRESIDENT! Someone to work full time at LUSA and sits on every board imaginable, has their finger in all the pies, even the gross ones and helps help out with all aspects of Uni life.Do you think you can fill Aimee’s big shoes?

Nominations Close - Monday 30th May Voting Closes - Monday 6th June

Contact vice.president@lusa.org.nz or pop into LUSA for more info. today!

Notices

Notices

Apple Devices

5. Spot the spelling mistake in this blurb and win a

Swap your old adapter for a new one!

Our friends at Apple are recalling many of their wall plug adapters and the even friendlier IT crew have obtained a number of these. You are invited to pop up the IT Service Desk, Library 2nd Floor, to swap your old adapter for one of the new and no doubt improved ones.

Call in anytime you like as it is good to get to know you

choclate bar – first ten people who come in and tell me.

There’s information available online showing how you can identify the plugs affected by the recall or, if you’re not too sure, pop up and one of the team will assist. https://www.apple.com/nz/support/ac-wallplug-adapter/

and discuss your work options

Barbara Nicholson Practical Work Coordinator

Study Stall Study Stall is here again this Semester.

It begins Monday 30th May and goes through till Friday 10th June.

Practical Work Reminder

Keep an eye out for the FREE tea, coffee, Milo and

If you are doing a degree or diploma that has Practical

End of Semester Party

food in the Library foyer to keep you fueled for those cramming sessions.

Work in it you may have a report due.

The reports are due 25th July 2016 (not 31st March) Refer to the table below to see if you have a report due: Degree/Diploma Employer Form Due Report Due B Ag/Sc 2014 onwards

Yes

No

B A F M

Yes

Yes

B L P M

Yes

Yes

B V & O

Yes

Yes

B Com Ag

Yes

Yes

BLA Yes Yes Dip Ag & FM

Yes

Yes

Dip Hort & HM

Yes

Yes

11.30am, Thursday 26th May, Mrs O’s - Sunken Lawn.

Celebrate the end of semester and in between study, with a cold beer, a hot dog and some sweet tunes from DJ Oskar and all for FREE!

Linc Me Up Website A Linc Me Up Website will be going live on Tuesday 7th June! It will be a one stop shop for all your info. provided only to Linc Me Up members.

PW Best Practice: 1. Read this message thoroughly 2. Hand in your reports early!!!!

3. Apply for jobs as early as you can.

Linc Me Up Applications

They are starting to come in now and I am putting them

Applications will open on 20th May for Semester 2.

on the LEARN site PW page.

Either become a Mentor (a face to face buddy), a Guide

4. If you there are any things you don’t understand about your PW please come and see me – in the Student Admin area in the Forbes building, or email me practicalwork@lincoln.ac.nz or ring me 03 423 0061

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Guru (a light touch support via email) or a Mentee (someone who would like a bit of support while at Uni). More information and sign up forms on the LUSA webpage under Advice tab.

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HEADS UP EVERYONE...

Lincoln University users will soon be enjoying better free WiFi coverage, thanks to a new, more secure network we’ve been putting in place over the past few months – yus!

While you’re off-campus between semesters, Lincoln’s IT team will be busy bees making the final changes to our improved network.

When you come back, you’ll need to use your Lincoln login and password the first time you want to access the free WiFi. We’ll explain more in the next edition of Caclin, but if you have any questions in the meantime, bowl on over to level 2 of the Library and chat to one of our friendly IT Help staff members, or email ithelp@lincoln.ac.nz And finally, good luck with your exams!

From the IT Team

A very tongue in cheek Quiz!

Some utterly pointless crap that you may like to know...

1. What is the word for fossilized poo?

9. How long does the standard hanky panky session last?

2. Which side of a woman’s clitoris it the most sensitive?

10. Smearing a small amount of what on an insect bite will relieve its itching and swelling?

3. Which animal can poop four times the pressure of typical human?

4. How many teaspoons of semen would a man ejaculate at one time?

5. Which insect do we share 70% of our DNA with?

6. What did Adolf Hitler only have one of?

7. Which other mammal has sex for pleasure?

8. How many times one average does one person burp a day?

Answers:1. Coprolite 2. The left 3. Penguin 4. 1-2 teaspoons of ejaculate 5. A Slug 6. He only had one testicle 7. Dolphins 8. 15 9. 10mins 10. Dog Crap

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LU SPORT

LU Sport is in full swing with the commencement of the Netball competition in recent weeks. Rugby started at the end of March as did Football. LU Rowing has had their main regatta in Twizel during ANZAC weekend and our Basketball teams are competing well and will be looking forward to reaching the finals of the first round of competition.

RUGBY

The Senior Division 1 Rugby team have had a strong start to their defence of the Hawkins Cup and Trophy but have unfortunately

relinquished the DCL shield two weeks ago to HSOB. At the time of printing they sit in 3rd place on 24 points, two behind leaders New Brighton. The Div 2 Wethers are finding the pace tough with a young side but have lifted in recent weeks by winning the Challenge Shield from Christchurch and defending it against Marist/Albion last week.

They sit in 8th place 13 points behind New Brighton on 29.

ROWING

The Premier Colts and Colts teams have also struggled for form early

During ANZAC weekend the Lincoln University Rowing squad

in the season and are placed 6th and 7th respectively. With uni mid

travelled to Twizel to compete in the AON University Rowing

semester break concluded some more stability in team selections will

Championships. Crisp conditions meet the team on Saturday

help with consistency.

morning and hopes were high for the opening Championship Men’s and Women’s Eights. The men’s crew were moving through the field in the 3.219 km race when tragedy struck with the boat hitting the floating AON wooden marker buoy snapping the front of the eight clean off. The crews re-grouped for the rest of the regatta and continued to race well throughout. A Big thanks to the whole team for their energy and commitment to the cause. A special thanks to South Island Rowing for their professional and excellent organisation in running the regatta, Fred Coughlan (past LU Rowing Sports Scholar) for his coaching expertise and Matt Cole and Heather GeeTaylor for their hard work behind the scenes in getting everyone there and back.

Lincoln Women’s Rugby is fully engaged in the whole rugby scene and are thoroughly enjoying the competition where they are placed 6th. They have won 3 and lost 3 with the goal of making the top six by the end of the first round.

FOOTBALL LU Football has had a 100% increase in their teams in 2016 to two.

The LU AU (Gold) and LU CO (Cobalt) play in the Men’s Division 5 and Men’s Division 8 respectively. The AU’s are in third position and have been playing some strong football as are the LU CO who are also in third place.

BASKETBALL

NETBALL LU Netball has recently commenced their season with the Premier A and B teams playing in a newly formatted competition. The A’s have had two good wins first up while the B team are finding their

Basketball is on the rise at Lincoln University and teams across the

feet against the other Premier A sides. The C side have had a loss and

board have all had great starts to the season. The Premier Men’s side

a draw while the D team are only one match into their competition.

sit in 2nd place after four matches while the Premier Women’s team

The Selwyn Social grade has a large contingent of Lincoln University

remain unbeaten at the top with a 5 and 0 record. The U23 Bulls

players making up six sides with a good start from the Social 2 and

have been undefeated for over two years now and have played 4

Social 4 sides to date.

matches to date. Unfortunately the U23 Longhorns have not been able to replicate the colleagues but are developing well as the season

Make sure you follow your favourite LU Sports teams by liking us on

progresses. A new Mid Week Women’s team has entered the grade

Facebook at Lincoln University Sports.

this year and have 3 wins from 3 starts and are thoroughly enjoying playing in this exciting grade. The U20 Women’s side have had only

Graeme Campbell

the two matches and have dominated the opposition in both fixtures to remain unbeaten.

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Wh i le m any of you are bu s y t hink ing (and stressing) ab out all the last m i n ut e a ss i g n m e n t s you ‘for got ’ w ere due in two d ays and are stud ying for ex am s ( a n d h o w yo u w i ll b e c el ebrat i ng aft e r ward s! ) we here at LUSA have b e en b usy put t i n g t he fi nal t ouc hes on WinterFest 2016!

W in t e r Fe s t i s c omi ng at you at t he b eginning of Semester 2 and its LUSA’ s ve r s i on o f Re - O r i e n t at i on We e k ( bas i cal l y just another reas on to party! ) Its a we ek full of a c tiv i t i e s an d e vent s t o get you all warme d up for the Semester ahead an d s e t t le d bac k in to Uni life!

MONDAY 4 JULY BARN PARTY 8PM | MRS O’S | R18 | $25 PRE SALES W i n t e r Fe s t 2 016 wi l l ki ck off with the WinterFest L aunc h Party – Coun t r y S t yle ! ( h ap py I ndep ende nc e D ay ‘ Muric a! ) CM ANZ Artist of the Y ear 20 15 , C am S c o t t, wi l l he adl i ne t he e ve nt alongsid e Aussie ro c k b and Tommy G un ! S o grab you r c owb oy b o ots and get read y to party!

P re- s al e s are avai l abl e now for $ 25 at d as h tickets . c o. nz, or at LUSA Re c ept i on .

Do or sales $30

TUESDAY 5 JULY BACKYARD BBQ 11AM | MRS O’S SUNKEN LAWN | ID REQUIRED | FREE B ur g e r s , Be er s & Be at s i s al l the b est stuff, all for fre e and all to c ure your h an g o ve r o n t hi s l ovel y Tu es day. We have hund re d s of b urgers to BBQ, fre s h b un s , c ol d kegs , and p hat b eats spun b y L inc oln’ s very own DJ O sk a r !

P LU S t h e ve r y l at e s t e di t i on of what you may re c all as the C ac lin. Sad d le up, put you r b o ots on and mos ey on over!

M AKE SUR E YO U BR ING YO U R L E G A L AG E I D I F YOU ’D L I KE A BEER

WED 6 JULY CLUBS AND MARKETS DAY 11AM | OUTSIDE REC CENTRE | FREE B ro w s e t h e s t al l s . Se e w hat ’s on offer. J oin a LUSA Club or So c iety. Grab a FR EE s au s age. Hang out and enjoy s ome music .

Wet weat h er venue - The Work shop.

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4-9th JULY

EVENTS 2016

WINTERFEST THURSDAY 7 JULY COMEDY NIGHT 8PM | MRS O’S | $25 PRE SALES O ur f i r s t e ver Wi nt er Fes t Come d y Night will b e head line d b y renown e d S o ut h A f ri can c ome di an Ur zi la C arls on, as well as other c ome d ians ye t t o b e an n o un c e d! Pre-s al e s are availab le now for $25 at d as h tickets . c o. nz, or at LUSA Re c eption. Do or sales $30

FRIDAY 8 JULY POST GRAD WINE AND CHEESE EVENING 4PM | MRS O’S | FREE A g re at ch anc e for Pos t G rads to relax and unwind with a glass of win e a n d s o me che es e and ni bbl e s a fter a b usy we ek with like mind e d folk !

SATURDAY 9 JULY SKI TRIP 8AM | OUTSIDE REC CENTRE | $10 + LIFT & GEAR HIRE W h at b et t er w ay t o rou nd off Winterfest with a sk i trip to Mount Hu tt !

Wrap up & and c ome and ge t ac tive! Tic kets for the b us c an b e purc has e d from LUSA Re c e p t i on – plac es are limite d s o b e in quic k .

Make s ure you ‘l i ke’ LUSA on Fac eb o ok to ke ep up to d at e w i t h al l t he u p dat es and announc ements regard ing W i n t e r Fe st ! Ti cke t s are on s ale NOW and c an b e p urch as e d from b ot h Das h Ti ckets or LUSA Re c eption.

Caclin Issue 4 | 14

Like LUSA on Facebook to keep upto-date with all our awesome events!

Artist Profile

| Cam Scott

Cam Scott was launched in to the international country scene in 2014 following his long list of accomplishments in New Zealand and Australia and has managed to become the hottest male country-rock artist in NZ after taking out the CMANZ Male Artist of the Year 2015 – less than 12 months after launching his debut single – Somethin Bout a Girl.

Since launching his recording career, Cam has played alongside internationally acclaimed country artists at the 2013, 2014 and 2015 NYE Country Music Festival; The Branding, as well as the CMC Rocks Queensland Music Festival 2015 & 2016 alongside Lee Brice, Lady Antebellum and Florida Georgia Line, among many other iconic events and festivals across NZ and Australia.

Following the success of his first single Cam released his second studio single, Prayin Rain, in 2015, which went straight to #1 on the NZ iTunes Country Music Chart and saw his popularity continue to rise as well as further adding to the increasing demand for Country Music within NZ.

Catch him live at:

Tying in with his profile as a true country music artist, Cam runs the

Winterfest Launch Barn Party

managing a busy performance schedule as well as working on his third

Monday 4 July

family farm, based in the central South Island, with his parents, while studio single.

With a bunch of exciting performances lined up, a third single

Mrs O’s

currently underway, and more exciting opportunities which will

8pm ‘til 12am | $25 presales dashtickets.co.nz

international Country Music Artist, LUSA is proud to announce that

add to Cam’s long list of successes and further establish him as an Cam Scott will be headlining the 2016 Winterfest Launch along with Australian band, Tommy Gunn.

Caclin Issue 4 | 15

Artist Profile

| Tommy Gun

Fresh off touring throughout New South Wales, ‘Tommy Gun’ is described as an Aussie rock band whose musical and vocal ability stems far beyond just rock, covering a variety of genres including country, country rock and pop, and commit themselves to getting the crowd involved in each set they perform.

Having performed together in a number of other bands, Tommy Gun was formed after band members Tom Evans, Dane Baldwin and Mark Hoppe, realised there was a certain musical chemistry between them as well as a real passion for playing together – which filters through in their live shows.

Tommy Gun are a frequent fixture in the live music scene around both New Zealand and Australia, and have performed in a variety of wellknown events and festivals; including The Branding 2015. As well as a hectic performance schedule as Tommy Gun, the trio also perform as a backing band for a range of artists including Kaylee bell, Jody Direen and Jarred Porter.

With over 50 years combined experience performing as musicians and playing live music, LUSA are proud to bring Tommy Gun to New Zealand where they will be performing at the 2016 Winterfest Launch alongside Cam Scott.

Catch them live at: Winterfest Launch Barn Party Monday 4 July Mrs O’s 8pm ‘til 12am | $25 presales dashtickets.co.nz Supporting Cam Scott

F OR M ORE INF ORM A T I ON ON THIS AND OT H E R WIN TE RF E ST E V E N T S , VISIT WWW. LUSA.ORG .NZ / WIN TE RFE S T. TICKE TS CA N B E PURCHASED AT W W W .

DASHTICKE TS.CO. NZ O R A T LUSA RE CEP T I ON .

Caclin Issue 4 | 16

Artist Profile

| DJ OS AR

Hey Guys! My name is Oscar, and I am studying a Batchelor’s Degree in Agricultural Science here at Lincoln. On the side of my studies I am a recently established Producer/DJ, playing primarily House, EDM, Dance, Trap, Top40 music and a variety of other musical genres in and around numerous Christchurch venues, including our great university!

Since I was a little boy, music has been in my blood. From the start of primary school, I began learning vocals, as well as a number of instruments and continued lessons all through school, which has now led me to enjoy producing and mixing my own music, as well as mixing other peoples as a passion.

Catch him live at:

Ever since I purchased my first DJ controller, I haven’t stopped playing

Backyard BBQ

these sounds to entertain an audience, I started playing small time gigs

Tuesday 5 May

Mrs O’s - Sunken Lawn 11.00am | FREE

with the amazing sounds I can create. When I realised that I could use in and around the local pubs of Lincoln and Christchurch to try and get my name out there, and through a huge amount of support since then, I have now become a part of “Academy” who are part of The Foundry Bar of UC, as well as The Lincoln University Students Association.

In future I hope to branch out even further to entertain more people!

F O R MO RE I NFOR MATI ON ON DJ OSK AR CHECK OUT HIS FACEB O OK PA G E - O SKAR - DJ. H E WI LL AL SO BE PERF ORM ING AT THE E ND OF S E M E S T E R CELEBR ATI ON ON THE SUNK E N L AWN FROM 11. 30AM T HU RS DAY 26 MAY.

Caclin Issue 4 | 17

Artist Profile

| Urzila Carlson

South African born, and now New Zealand citizen, comic Urzila Carlson took to the stage for the first time back in 2008 and has since racked up an impressive array of awards for her stand up comedy including ‘Best Female Comedian’ at the 2010, 2011, 2012 & 2013 NZ Comedy Guild Awards and the coveted TV3 PEOPLE’S CHOICE AWARD at the 2013 New Zealand International Comedy Festival.

She has made numerous TV appearances in New Zealand on shows such as `A Night at the Classic’, ` The Comedy Christmas Cracker’ with Rhys Darby, AotearoHA!, The Jono Project and of course she tames the boys as a regular panellist for TV3’s hit show 7 Days.

She has had four sold out solo seasons (2010, 2011, 2012, 2013) at the New Zealand International Comedy Festival and was invited to Melbourne International Comedy Festival in 2013 by international

Catch her live at: Winterfest Comedy Night

Thursday 7 July Mrs O’s Dining Hall 8pm ‘til 10.30pm | $25 presales dashtickets.co.nz

comedy promotional giants Live Nation where she had a hugely successful sell out season and appeared on the televised Oxfam Comedy Gala and Comedy Up Late.

2014 and 2015 saw her have another season in Australia with Live Nation in Melbourne, Perth and Sydney and was once again been invited to be part of the televised Oxfam Comedy Gala in Melbourne.

Fresh off being married in 2015 and with a tour of NZ coming up in May, Urzila is set to take Lincoln University, headlining the WinterFest Comedy Night, taking place at Mrs O’s from 8.00pm Thursday 7 July 2016!

F O R M O R E I NFOR MATI ON ON THIS AND OTHER WIN TE RF E ST E VE N T S , V I S I T W WW.LUSA.ORG.NZ / WIN TERF E ST. T I C K E T S CAN BE PURCH ASED AT WWW. DASHTICKE TS.CO. NZ OR AT LU S A RE CEPTI ON. Caclin Issue 4 | 18

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How did the CACLIN all start and what ever happened to ‘RAM’?!

Printed in newsprint with a collection of

So...we are BRINGING BACK RAM! Get

physical cuttings and the use of the good

ready, hold onto your undies because

ol’e typewriter alongside illustration, the

CACLIN is on its way out and RAM is

magazine was hawked on Christchurch

coming back! Bigger and better (just

streets and even outside high-schools.

without the racist, sexist and violent

How did the CACLIN all start and what ever happened to ‘RAM’?!

content).

Nothing was off-limits for RAM. It was homophobic, racist and extremely sexist.

So with that we leave you with some

Well, let me tell you - Lincoln University

It was anti-establishment, offensive but

RAM magazine original content. As it is

was once known as the Canterbury

amusing and humorous at the same time.

certainly one of those occasions where a

Agricultural College between 1887-

It was what every Kiwi bloke wanted

picture is worth a thousand words!

1962, then Lincoln University College

in a magazine and for only 50c - it was a

of Agriculture 1962 - 1990 before finally

bargain!

being represented as Lincoln University

First - here’s a disclaimer for RAM’s first ever 1972 edition:

1990 - present day!

“This paper may contain offensive So, for those of you who didn’t know,

material which may disgust you.

CACLIN is actually an acronym for:

Therefore anyone who has picked up

Canterbury Agricultural College of

this paper in ignorance now knows what

LIncoln University!

is printed herein. Rather than read it, become outraged, and write self-righteous

But what ever happened to ‘RAM’?

letters to editors of newspaper or just put it down now. If you continue to read we In 1977 they claimed to have a readership

can only assume you do so at your own

of 80,000 in the previous year.

discretion.”

With so much controversy hanging over

Julia Wills

RAM and it’s ‘do what we want’ attitude, the student magazine published its final edition, proudly titled ‘Bugger the Establishment’ in the late 80’s.

The barrage of complaints over its controversial content sadly brought it to an end.

With no actual editor listed, but by rather Pseudonyms like ‘Fred the Ed’, James D. or Jim, were as close as the public got to For many years, spanning over the 70’s

know who was really behind each years

and 80’s, Lincoln University Students

mag.

published their own social and very satirical magazine called ‘RAM’. This

I find today that people are worried

magazine coincided with graduation or

about being too offensive but really are

otherwise known as ‘capping’ back then.

people just too sensitive? For example,

The students were all for it (at the time)

employees have even been banned from

but later down the track, many separated

saying ‘Merry Christmas’ to customers

themselves from ‘RAM’ and by the looks

at Federated Department Stores in the

of things I can understand why!

United States! I mean really, they should have had their customers read RAM!

The magazine was originally sold for 40c

New Zealand is on the frontline of the

and at the end of its days, it got up to $2.

politically correct war, so this is our

All proceeds from the editions went to

time as a student magazine to push the

very different and random charities each

boundaries, start a healthy debate and just

year, like Multiple Sclerosis, Schizophrenia

have a little fun!

Fellowship, Disabled Skiers & even the Lincoln Kindy benefited from sales.

Caclin Issue 4 | 20

Chapter 6

animals on our planet. Now, what can

the hatch J’Nas called after her.

you tell me about local beliefs regarding

“Be sure to come to this island during its

The Industrial Revolution

what they term ‘extraterrestrials’?”

summer.”

Aliens Come to Lincoln

“From what I can ascertain most humans

“We shall,” P’Li replied, “but why?”

believe them to be a hoax and some

J’Nas felt his facial muscles stretch in

humans known as ‘conspiracy theorists’

a human grin. The longer he remained

hold that extraterrestrials have visited

here, the more he acquired human

J’Nas the alien hunched back on his hind

and their governments are concealing

quirks such as this. They were fun. He

legs and lifted one of his long forelimbs

the fact. Most humans disregard the

stayed silent.

from the ground. He ran the hand over

conspiracy theorists though.”

his round, flat face, mimicking a gesture

“But theorists should be respected; it is

The gale receded to a low hum then

used by the local humans then reached

hard to take science beyond that which

faded completely. J’Nas turned from

over and pushed a button.

can be quantified.”

the wind-rippled water and touched his

By Abigail Jones

Nothing happened. In the distance dogs

camouflage device.

began to bark. The dark lakeshore where

“The term is inaccurate. Unlike our

A short, stocky human of unremarkable

J’Nas stood alone felt even quieter given

theorists or even human scientists,

appearance reached from the clothes

the far-off noise. Moonlight shone on

conspiracy theorists spread rumours

human convention required. Once

the smooth planes of his exoskeleton and

and do not obtain quantifiable evidence,”

dressed, he departed the deserted shore.

reflected off the wind-rippled surface

J’Nas hesitated and inclined his head

It was a long walk back to Lincoln

of the lagoon. The locals named it Lake

again. “If you will permit me levity, I

University, but J’Nas could walk on

Ellesmere or Te Waihora. Apparently Te

myself favour a human quote, ‘pray that

two legs as easily as four limbs. He was

Waihora meant spreading waters in the

there’s intelligent life somewhere up in

grinning as he strode into the night.

language of the first humans to settle

space ‘cause there’s bugger all down here

this island.

on Earth’ from a group known as Monty

The ‘tourists’ from his home world

J’Nas stood motionless as one of the

Python.”

would be good for this country’s economic growth. He could just imagine

humans’ stone ornaments, ‘statues’. Time “Your levity is permitted and

the flying saucer-themed shuttles his

appreciated,” a slight whistle was P’Li’s

people’s tourism companies would come

A low hum built from the edge of

laugh, “so humans as a majority are

up with. If they came in summer they

hearing. It reached a crescendo – J’Nas

disinclined to believe we have visited

would not even have to conceal signs of

liked that word – as with a sound like

Earth. With this point confirmed it

their landings; pivot irrigation left some

a gale a large spaceship descended and

is possible to classify this planet as

fine circles on the dry summer landscape

hovered gently before coming to rest

safe for visitors. Our presence among

as satellite images had shown when he

on the surface of the lake. A hatch in

these humans with their potential for

was trying to decide where to put crop

the side opened. Another small creature

aggressive xenophobia since even if our

circles as a joke when he first got here.

with a dark exoskeleton descended

disguises are penetrated most will not

and floundered through the shallows

believe in us. Incidentally, how is your

Perhaps sheep droppings could be

towards J’Nas.

camouflage device functioning? ”

exported home. What an industrial

passed.

revolution the demand for sheep

“Engineer J’Nas, I am xenosocioscientist P’Li here in response to your reports on

“It functions well and has proven

droppings could lead to.

the dominant endemic life forms of this

durable. No repairs have yet been

planet termed ‘Earth’. I desire to confirm

required though I have been here for

Suddenly J’Nas stopped walking and

a fact raised so that our government’s

three quarters of Earth’s stellar cycle.”

laughed aloud. The camouflage device

proposed actions regarding this planet

J’Nas picked up two sealed canister from

converted the whistle and warm human

may be confirmed.”

by his feet and offered them to P’Li.

laughter rang through the night. The alien invasion was about to begin! They

Though the figure’s figure was identical to his, an extra clicking in their speech

“Here is my latest report and personal

informed J’Nas that he spoke to a female.

correspondence,” he paused before

came in peace.

It was too dark to see the faint patterns

continuing. “I find my time here most

A farmer on the Port Hills had been out

on her exoskeleton which were the

informative. In truth I find many

late helping a ewe lamb. He watched

only visible difference between his

human traditions and conventions

in astonishment as the spaceship lifted

species’ genders. He inclined his head

fun - the best human word ‘fun’; it

from the surface of Lake Ellesmere

respectfully.

summarises enjoyment in an enjoyable

into the night sky. Aliens did exist and

“Greetings P’Li. Ask and I shall do my

word – however, hearing my language

they had visited little New Zealand at

best to answer, but a question of my

and seeing a physiology familiar to me

the bottom of the map. What a pity he

own first. How did the Ovis aries faeces

makes me feel lonely. Perhaps now I

could not tell anyone, not even his wife;

function during the E’Dos’ escape?”

comprehend the term ‘homesick’.”

everyone would think he was crazy.

“They were superb fuel. Captain D’Lon

P’Li accepted the canisters and prepared

bemoans the fact we cannot raise the

to depart. As she waded back towards Caclin Issue 4 | 21

Exams – What are the ways to keep focused and have clarity?

Hey guys!

We know exams are coming up and you could be feeling any of these feelings: overwhelmed, I don’t have enough time, irritable, or tired because you’re not sleeping so well. Everybody wants something and perhaps you’ve found yourself eating more or less food. These are all signs of stress. The right amount of stress is useful as it helps us to stay on target and meet deadlines, however each of us has a different tipping point where stress becomes too much and we feel any or all of the symptoms above (note: not all sensations/ symptoms are listed).

This may well be the first time you have felt this way or had this intensity of feelings. First up be assured you are completely normal – all of us at varying times have these feelings at varying intensities, its how we react that is the key. This is where taking time out to make sure you are making time for all the things the body needs for you to preform is super important! Just like your car that needs, oil, water, gas and a regular service we need certain fuels and elements to keep us firing on all cylinders. However, busy times can distract our focus and we can get caught up in our stress. We don’t have time so we fall back on default behaviors like staying up late and not doing any movement. We are too busy so we make quick choices with fast food which tend to be sugary, higher fat food options (often the quicker choices). Interestingly this is not about willpower, it’s about the chemical environment you have put your body into because of the choices you are making. Forgetting to eat sends a whole different message to the body then fueling it regularly with the nutrients required for your brain to function how you need it to.

We forget to take some down time, we don’t drink any water but up the energy drinks as we just have to get these deadlines met. Our sleep goes out the window, and yet this is when memories are laid down and when we do all our recovering and healing. So at a busy time like exams, where you are using your brain a lot, you’re going to need lots of memory download and recovery!!!

Yip, no sleep, exercise or nutritious food will get you through, but at what cost – illness, cold and flu or just feelings off no energy, vitality or oomph.

- Insanity Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

- Albert Einstein Caclin Issue 4 | 22

We challenge you to do something different these exams. Check out our very simple messages in the posters below! You will see them around campus, and they are there to help you “drop anchor” and choose to do something different. You may even find during your holiday break you have more time and energy for yourself to do the fun things and not just use all your energy on work.

How do I find that sweet spot, that calmness where I know everything is ok?

Its time to turn up for yourself! If you wanted to be better at shooting hoops, kicking goals, driving a forklift, building fences, playing an instrument, speaking in public or writing academic essays, you would find someone to teach you, help you and then YOU would practice. I wonder why we don’t apply the same thinking to our brain. You are here learning and yet we don’t really learn how to use our brain; we don’t practice. More and more research, especially neuroimaging is showing us how we use our brain and how practice makes more neurons fire up – and when they fire together they wire together. We know that getting into a different state allows us to tap into our parasympathetic system which is our rest and digest. Getting into our parasympathetic system is so SIMPLE by breathing with focus and intention. 1-5 meaningful breaths can help you reboot and settle into a different space. One where you are less reactive, one where it is easier to retrieve the info in your memory, where you are present and can make choices that will serve you better.

“Things do not change, we change” - Henry David Thoreau Come and practice using your brain, find your sweet spot and then you can do it any where, any time its your choice.

Join the many guides who take the relaxation and breathing – mediation sessions in the Rose Room each week. The Rose Room is located behind te kete ika to the left of the rose garden, first door under the verandah.

This room is open 1-2pm Monday to Friday for you to practice using your brain. Cushions and a nice environment have been put together to help you to relax. You can think, reflect on what you have just learnt, you can write in your journal or draw.

If you would like some teachings then join: Tuesdays 12.30pm - 1.00pm, for Zen Pen with Susan – using paper and pen to relax Wednesdays and Fridays 12.30pm - 1.00pm, for relaxation, breathing and mediation – with Kathy, Jackie, Jayne, Mohini Thursday 12.30pm - 1.00pm Qi Gong – moving meditation with Jackie Practicing together like anything we do as a group/community is much easier so give yourself a gift, make time, 30 minutes to see how you can feel different!

The coolest thing is you are in control, it’s your journey – we will just guide you. You already know what you need, you have just forgotten.

Caclin Issue 4 | 23

5 ways of Wellbeing - 1st one is ‘Giving!’

Check List: Do a Random Act of Kindness Give your Friends a High Five Give Someone a Hug Four benefits of hugging...

Psychology Today has identified research finding surprising power in even casual embraces:

1. Security - we are simply wired to find touch reassuring.

2. Positive Feelings - we release the hormone oxytocin when touched, which boosts feelings of attachment, connection, trust, and intimacy.

3. Better Health - when we are touched our heart rate, blood pressure, and levels of the harmful stress hormone cortisol are lowered.

4. Freedom –giving someone a hug is something we can choose to do

(that’s empowerment right there!). - Sourced from the Mental Health Foundation NZ

Designated Smoking Areas at LU You may or may not know but last year a policy was passed to provide designated areas for our community who smoke cigarettes. As part of this policy smoking is required to be within 10 meters of any building, this was already the original policy, what we have added are designated areas. This discussion took place most of last year and included students, staff, smokers and non-smokers. Last year some Future Leaders, led by Christie and Sean, worked with the community to try and find locations for designated areas across campus. They were met with a variety of interesting comments and feedback, but from all the information gathered they were able to put together a report to our health and safety officer that assisted in the consulting phase. Now we are in the “doing” phase – signage is being made to allow everyone to know that this area is okay for folk to smoke, maps will be marked and all guests to campus advised of our areas.

As this is our community and our campus if you use these spaces we would like to have your feedback on what else would be good for us to have in the areas. Of course we have ideas but you the users are the better informed of actual needs. We apologize that there have been no ashtrays at these sites, but now that there are please can you use them to avoid littering the ground with cigarette butts.

As this change is for all of us and to include everyone can we be considerate when speaking to each other, as nobody likes feeling as if they have been spoken to like a naughty 2 year old. Often it is as simple as they didn’t know.

As a suggestion when letting people know we recommend using language that is un-assuming and non-critical, like, “You may not know but the closest designated area for smoking is ..? There are also others on campus and the map at that area will let you see where they are.”

Thank you everyone for your tolerance and patience with each other as we implement this change to our campus.

Jayne.smith@lincoln.ac.nz for any feedback as mentioned in the news item.

Caclin Issue 4 | 24

Caclin Issue 4 | 25

As a suggestion when letting people know we recommend using language that is un-assuming and non-critical, like, “You may not know but the closest designated area for smoking is ..? There are also others on campus and the map at that area will let you see where they are.”

Thank you everyone for your tolerance and patience with each other as we implement this change to our campus.

Jayne.smith@lincoln.ac.nz for any feedback as mentioned in the news item.

Congratulations Corner To a Rec Centre member and student Thomas Botica – seen in the photo he took at the All Waikato/BOP Junior Records in the under 93kg division in powerlifting. On the day he lifted a whopping 580kg total, with a Squat of 210kg, Bench Press of 127.5kg and Deadlift of 242.5kg. Now this is an example of Kaizen. Kaizen is a continuous improvement, day by day, little by little – and you will see Thomas in training with his training buddy on a regular basis. Catch him and have a chat as this is an awesome achievement. He has his eyes set on his next competition which is August from memory.

You Can Do It! To all the chch marathon, half and 10km walkers and runners, you have prepared for it so enjoy being in the event.

Well done.

Exams, all the very best and know that we are all cheering for you to do your best, ask for support if you need it we are just standing here on the side lines ready to provide you with words of encouragement, nourishment and support so don’t be afraid to ask.

Returning Semester Two

WE’RE SORRY YOU HAVE BEEN MISSING FLAT OF THE MONTH THIS SEMESTER, BUT IT WILL BE BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER NEXT SEMESTER! SO GET YOUR APPLICATIONS INTO LUSA PEOPLE!

Caclin Issue 4 | 26

IN BLACK

Caclin Issue 4 | 27

Nick’s Story: Attitude Award winner Nick Chisholm and his wife Nicola are heading to the United States – to try and get pregnant.

The couple need an egg donor to help fulfil their dream of having a child and time is running out.

The queue in New Zealand is just too long.

For Nick, who won his 2015 Attitude Award for his incredible journey from being ‘locked-in’ his own body to becoming a body building champion and supporting others with disabilities, this is just another challenge for him and Nicola to meet.

Dan Buckingham, chair of the Attitude Trust says there are hundreds of New Zealanders who have incredible stories of courage and human kindness.

“We would really encourage people to nominate members of their family, friends and people they know from their communities who deserve recognition, for a 2016 Attitude Award,” Buckingham says.

Nick says being a part of the Attitude Awards gave him a huge amount of confidence and motivated him to do more to help others.

“You become part of an awesome group of people who inspire and give you the enthusiasm to continue working hard to achieve your goals.”

Now in their ninth year,

THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF NEW ZEALANDERS WHO HAVE INCREDIBLE STORIES OF COURAGE AND HUMAN KINDNESS.

the 2016 Attitude Awards have four new categories: Youth Spirit, Emerging Athlete, Sporting Spirit and an Entrepreneur Award. There is a total of eight awards categories (subs note: full list of categories below), with the Attitude ACC Supreme Award selected from the category winners.

ACC Chief Executive, Scott Pickering, says ACC is proud to

While they head to the US, the Attitude Trust is starting the search for more people like Nick for this year’s Attitude Awards – people who are challenging perceptions around disability.

be principal sponsor of the awards, including sponsorship of the Attitude ACC Supreme Award and the Attitude ACC Employer Award.

“At ACC we are forever inspired by the energy, commitment and attitude of those recovering from an injury, living with a disability, supporting a friend, partner or family member. Go for it. Nominate someone for these prestigious awards.”

Other sponsors supporting the Attitude Awards include Lion Foundation, Manawanui in Charge, Barfoot and Thompson, Westpac, Drake Medox, Ministry of Health, Wayne Francis Charitable Trust, Air New Zealand, Ricoh and New Zealand on Air. The Attitude Awards are inspired by the positive stories shown weekly on TV One’s Attitude programme (8:30am Sundays).

Caclin Issue 4 | 28

Jake and Charlie

ATTITUDE CALLING OUT FOR CHALLENGERS! The eight categories are: Youth Spirit, Spirit of Attitude, Emerging Athlete, Sporting Spirit, Artistic Achievement, Making a Difference, Entrepreneur and Attitude ACC Employer Award.

Attitude Auckland

NOMINATIONS 2016 ATTITUDE AWARDS Wheelchair bodybuilding champion Nick Chisholm is calling out for nominations for the 2016 Attitude Awards. The Attitude Awards acknowledge the unsung heroes of NZ’s disability community.

Do you know of anyone at your Lincoln Uni who deserves recognition?

For nomination information and entry forms go to AttitudeLive.com/awards.

Nominations close on Wednesday July 8 and finalists will be announced soon after.

Winners will be announced at a black-tie gala for more than 600 people on November 29 at Auckland’s ASB Showgrounds.

Caclin Issue 4 | 29

Caclin Issue 4 | 30

SWEET AS BOTANIC GARDENS VISITOR CENTRE Not just for visitors, this glasshouse housing a working nursery, herbarium and research library, as well as a café is primo! A must to check out if heading out for a stroll.

WINTERFEST I’m sooo excited I almost peed my pants!

It’s a Country Hoedown this year.

Strap on your RM’s, pop those collars, hoist up the daisy dukes and get your tickets today!

ALL DAY MACCAS BREAKY McDonalds offering all-day breakfast including the Bacon & Egg McMuffin, NYC Benedict Bagel, Hotcakes and of course the much-loved Hash Brown 24 hours a day, rather than stopping at the 10.30am cut-off. Whoop! Hurry up and come to Christchurch already!

STINK ONE SHARING PLATES Sometimes you just want your own feed that no begger is going to scab chips off. “Mine, Mine, Mine!”

DOG POO Bags of dog poo left on the side of Rapaki Track when you are heading up for a Sunday run is not cool.

Especially when you already feel like spewing because the run is killing you!

NO FIREWORKS! New Brighton Pier is to close for up to 18 months for earthquake repairs.

Wait...that means no fireworks!

At least the cafe will be open.

NEW REGENT STREET TRAMS RUNNING AGAIN The Trams are once again, operating through Christchurch’s heritage street after around five vacant buildings were fenced off for repairs.

KAURI COURT DIAS NOT ALLOWED A leading barrister is driving an effort to save a piece of legal history, allowing for the “glorious” piece to be incorporated into the new Christchurch Court complex.

MARGARET MAHY PLAYGROUND OK, this place is just awesome and not just for kids. Some of the playground equipment are pretty intense! But beware of the man who likes to strip off to shower in the fountain!

GRIFFIN’S SHORT CHANGING US The new Tip Top Goody Goody Gum drops Squiggles contain two less biscuits than normal packs, but are sold for the same price.

WFT - still, they are worth it!

Caclin Issue 4 | 31

When sh*t gets UGLY… Ask Aunty Flat-tac!

What’s the difference between a flatmate & a tenant?

Tenant •

If you have a tenant agreement you’re a tenant and legally responsible for the place.

•

Responsible to the landlord for the whole of the rent and any damage down… not just their own share.

•

As a tenant you cannot be asked to leave by another tenant or flatmate… only the landlord can boot ya out.

•

You can have multiple people on the tenant agreement.

I have had a horrible situation where I lived with 14 other people and one girl was the devil! She went through our mail, video recorded other flatmates when they were drunk then post them online… and because she was a tenant and paid the rent, we couldn’t get rid of her.

TRAIL PERIOD… even if they are your friends. Put them down as a flatmate first The tenancy tribunal does not sort out problems between tenants… if you are having serious problems Disputes Tribunal AND/OR come see someone at SAS LUSA for more info and support.

Flatmate

Only one person wrote in this week… come on guys! I wana hear your stories!

I am currently living with 3 flatmates and I feel like I am the only one constantly cleaning and sometimes cooking for everyone…

Bit of stats for ya… 30% of common causes of flat drama is around people not doing their dishes… this is serious stuff Definitely not an ideal situation, first advice I would give is give it up for two weeks. People don’t notice when things are cleaned up after them… they believe in the cleaning fairy… but they will sure as hell notice when their plates pile up and go hungry.

If you really want to be a drill sergeant… put their names on one plate, one knife, one fork etc. and tell them they can’t use any other cutlery until they learn to wash their own shit… you might get kicked out but worth it.

If none of the above works or not really your cup of tea. Try talking…. Apparently it’s what people do and if they are the type of people who are always on their phone… txt that shit to them.

Ideas that could help and be discussed…

•

Set out a roster. Sounds corny but works. Set out the communal areas and set a roster weekly, fortnightly or how often you want the place cleaned.

•

Have some sort of punishment if the cleaning is not done… drink a raw egg, have to sit through an episode of ‘The Bachelor NZ’ …. Just a couple of examples.

•

Cooking – well not sure you want to roster this, depends on how good your flatmates are at cooking. Either set a night every one cooks and it’s their responsibility to make sure who is going to be home that night, you miss out if you’re not home.

Tip Time…

Trump Card – At the start of the year, every flatmate gets one trump card. This means their decision is final for one argument during the year.

•

Opposite from what I have just mentioned…

•

Responsible to the tenant and their share of the rent

Story time….

•

If you don’t have a flatmate agreement (templates found on the Tenancy Services website) it is a lot harder to voice your rights, especially if shit gets ugly and flatmates want you out.

I want to hear a good flatting story from you!

Best one gets a prize.

IMPORTANT - As flatmates are not covered by the Residential Tenancies Act your rights depend on the agreement you have with the tenant. GET A FLAT AGREEMENT

Caclin Issue 4 | 32

caclin@lusa.org.nz

STUFF WORTH DOING AROUND TOWN Wednesday 25th May

Baretta – Nick Lee (7pm – 10pm), Otis Swag (10:30pm –late), Masta K (10:30pm – late)

Carlton – Assembly Required (8:30pm)

Empire – DJ Lachie (10:30pm – late)

Baretta – Davey Backyard (6pm – 9pm)

The Craic Irish Bar - DJ Sassafras The Bedford @ CPSA – Hipstamatics (9pm)

Thursday 26th May Sunday 29th May Casa Publica – Eric (7:30pm) Carlton – Elevators Strange & Co – Lindon Puffin (9pm) Orleans – Live music (8pm) Baretta – Antony Pickard (7pm – 10pm) The Craic Irish Bar - DJ Sassafras Friday 27th May Dux Central –Emerson (Courtyard, 5pm – late), Motown/funk (Emerald Room, 9:30 – late) Valley Bar (Christchurch Casino) – Everlong (7pm – 10pm), Lion (10:15pm – 1:15am) Mashina Lounge – DJ Masta K (10:30pm)

Dux Central – Sunday Jazz Sessions (Courtyard, 2pm – 5pm) Valley Bar (Christchurch Casino) – Stephen James (5:30pm – 8:30pm) Casa Publica – Doc Sanchez (3pm) Carlton – Sanstribe (5pm) Strange & Co. Nick Lee (3 – 6pm), Willy Styles (6 – 9pm) Pomeroy’s – Mundi Baretta – Kate Anastasiou (1pm – 4pm) Monday 30th May Carlton – Midge McCleary (6pm)

Casa Publica – Dj Dale (8:30pm) Carlton – Shadow Puppet (10pm)

Tuesday 31st May

Trevinos – Danger Baby Strange & Co. – Strange Behaviour 5 feat Stack & Piece (AK) support from Nacoa & friends (8pm)

Carlton – Bobby Lee (6pm

Orleans – Live music (8pm) Baretta – Sanstribe (4pm – 7pm), Emily Cherie Duo (7:30pm –10:30pm), DJ Vlad (10:30pm –late) Empire – Dr D w/lxtz (10:30pm – late) The Craic Irish Bar – Stout Fellows Saturday 28th May Dux Central –Dragon Jack (Courtyard, 3pm – 6pm), Izonik (Upper Dux, 10:30pm – 3am) Valley Bar (Christchurch Casino) – Dan Wilson Jazz duo (7pm – 10pm), Tailor Made duo (10:15pm – 1:15am) Mashina Lounge – DJ Paul McKessar (10:30pm) Casa Publica – Ash-S (8:30pm) Carlton – Goodshirt (9pm) The Craic – Stout Fellows Strange & Co. – Live music (8pm), Getset (11pm) Orleans – Live music (8pm), Emerson (11pm)

Caclin Issue 4 | 33

Caclin Issue 4 | 34

Student Debt Student debt. We’ve all got it one way or another, and for most of us, we need it to survive our time at university.

Surviving is quite a broad term really. For some it might mean being able to afford rent, for others it might fund the recreational activities that keep us sane during our time at Uni. I’m sure I’m not alone in using living costs to help fund a couple of jugs at the Springer (RIP) New Zealanders have been studying so hard, we now owe a sweet $15 billion dollars in student debt!

That’s $15,000,000,000. Heaps aye?

There is a ton of things that play into university being so bloody expensive. Classes for a start. Rent. The cost of getting to and from Lincoln if you’re living it up in town. Textbooks.

And if you dabble in Landscaping, all of the shit you guys need.

A lot of those things aren’t really in our control. We can’t heckle Moot on the price of his classes, nor can we skip rent just to cut costs (if you do that, probably don’t). However, there’s a couple of things to keep the loan balance down. For those who only learn from mistakes, I’ve gone and made them so learn from mine. It’s waaaaaay cheaper.

Of course, there are things that pop up in life that are urgent and expensive. Like teeth, or car troubles. Even emergency flights. At the time it may seem like the only option is to use Studylink, but our old mate LUSA actually has a fund to help us out. “The purpose of this fund is to support students whose studies are seriously compromised by financial hardship beyond their control”. So if you’re broke as and need money asap for something important, LUSA have got your back.

For more information about student debt, head to www.students.org/debt

Amelia Woulfe Lincoln Uni OG

• Spending course related costs on course related things. Not a bender in Queenstown.

• Only borrow what you need with living costs. I’ll be paying back more jugs than I care to remember because I didn’t.

• Get flat hunting early, and drop your standards (not too low). It’s the people you live with flatting that make the experience. I lived in an icebox last year and although it was colder it was still better than the time I lived very comfortably in Fendalton.

• And finally, pass class. Groundbreaking.

Caclin Issue 4 | 35

LUSA.NZ ADD US TODAY!

Caclin Issue 4 | 36

WINNER ‘SAVE A HORSE, RIDE A WOOD SPLITTER!’ COME ON IN TO LUSA TO COLLECT YOUR VOUCHER TODAY!

Caclin Issue 4 | 37

This Month in History 1897 1820

Margaret Cruickshank was the first woman to be registered as a doctor in New Zealand. She practised in Waimate, South Canterbury, until 1918, when she died during the influenza pandemic.

The first European plough was used in New Zealand by the missionary John Butler. He turned the first furrow at Kerikeri, writing in his journal: ‘I trust that this day will be remembered with gratitude, and its anniversary kept by ages yet unborn.’

Caclin Issue 4 | 38

1897 1936 1846

NZ’s first woman barrister and solicitor was appointed.

Ethel Benjamin became the first woman to be admitted to law school when she entered the University of Otago, the first university in Australasia to permit women to take a law degree. She proved to be an outstanding student and duly graduated LLB in July 1897.

The NZ National Party was founded following their crushing defeat by the Labour Party in the 1935 general election. The remnants of the United–Reform coalition government met in Wellington on 13–14th May 1936 to establish a new ‘anti-socialist’ party.

A devastating landslide wiped out the village of Te Rapa.

The south-western shore of Lake Taupo was obliterated in this landslide and sixty people were killed.

Caclin Issue 4 | 39

Random Laughs

Caclin Issue 4 | 40

TOTALLY DUMB [NOT AT ALL] ACCURATE

ARIES

HOROSCOPES

GEMINI

MARCH 21 – APRIL 20

MAY 22 – JUNE 21

The stars indicate that you will find convenient parking at Westfield this weekend.

TAURUS

Your constant over-thinking plaques you, so your mouth become reckless.

Watch that lethal tongue of yours.

Lucky colour: Asphalt Grey

APRIL 21 – MAY 21

Lucky colour: Reckless Red

Lucky number: 1

Don’t be thinking your deep in thought when we know you’re just thinking about food and shit.

Lucky number: 50

Lucky colour: FnC Yellow Lucky number: 63

CANCER

VIRGO

JUNE 22 – JULY 23

AUG 24 – SEP 23

You will soon be known as “sink hole” by your LU friends for your ability to consume an entire meatlovers pizza in seconds.

Lucky colour: Barbeque Brown Lucky number: 12

LIBRA SEPT 24 – OCT 23 Your decision to run away via punt on the Avon wasn’t a very well thought out plan now was it.

Lucky colour: River Green Lucky number: 20

LEO

Horoscopes JULY 24 – AUG 23 Your partner will bring up their ex this week. Try not to think about throwing them down and beating them to a pulp.

Your naughty by nature personality shines through it’s nice exterior and noone is fooled.

Lucky colour: Green Envy Lucky number: 15

Lucky colour: Bloody Red Lucky number: 13

SCORPIO

SAGITTARIUS

OCT 24 – NOV 22

NOV 23 – DEC 22

Moderation isn’t in your vocabulary.

You’ll find yourself either seeking total obliteration or going home early when drun. Don’t pass out on the couch mumbling about your love life, all emotional and shit.

Lucky colour: Venerial Purple

Your reckless tendencies will throw your optimism and enthusiasm for life.

No, you are not talented whilst drunk.

Lucky colour: Vomit Yellow Lucky number: 3

Lucky number: 28

AQUARIUS PISCES

JAN 21 – FEB 19 You have in inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal and you make the same mistakes because you are stupid. You are actually a real jerk. Harsh I know.

FEB 20 – MARCH 20

CAPRICORN Your ability to locate gum under the seats at Merivale Maccas is legendary.

Your vivid imagination will run wild this weeked, thinking you are being followed by police. Dont’t be a dip-shit. Pull your head in.

Lucky colour: Jerk-off red

Lucky colour: Extra White

Lucky colour: Navy Blue

Lucky number: 0

Lucky number: 9

Lucky number: 5-0

DEC 23 – JAN 20

Caclin Issue 4 | 41

‘PROCRASTINATION’ (noun)

Station

1) Just like masturbation. It feels great now, but in the end you realise you’ve just screwed yourself!

2) When someone thinks your dumb but your actually really smart, you just have a problem. It’s the real reason smart kids do poorly.

simple

reasonably doable

Caclin Issue 4 | 42 pretty tricky

perfectly evil

“He y YOU read this ing t pro c hi rast i wha nat io s: Stop t you r n s and uppo I k no do sed t w yo o be b e ca u’re doin pro c use y g! rat in ou w at ing ould this n ’ t b e re if yo u we adin g ren’t !”

COLOURING IN You know you love it!

I’m not a pheasant plucker, I’m a pheasant pluckers son.

I pheasant pluck all day ‘til my pheasant plucking’s done!

- say three times, fast!

CONNECT THE... ...you know the drill.