Ram March 2018

RAM RECAPPING ORIENTATION & EASTER CHAT FOR CHOCOHOLICS

Orientation Highlights Cure your chocolate coma this Easter

ISSUE TWO March 2018 | Māehe 2018

You did it. You made it to five weeks.

You’ve survived Orientation and the flat warmings. You’re probably sick of the halls food by now and the uni workload is real.

Being your LUSA President over the past month has been amazing. I have been bailing up the staff for not doing what’s right by the students. I’ve gone up to Wellington to help set the government’s tertiary education strategy for the next 30 years. I am still pushing to get the back door of the library opened... bureaucracy is in the way at the moment...

But it’s not all about me. Together, with the staff and exec, we have been nutting out the big issues. Orientation was good and we are planning a bigger and better one for next year already. Winterball is going to be sick, with a new venue and more to do than previous balls.

This year will be the best yet! Plus get talking about Garden Party, raise your expectations...

It’s about you as well. On May 15th there’ll be a few sheep running around Forbes Lawn that need to be shorn.

Here’s your opportunity to get one up on the staff in LUSA’s first Staff vs Student Shearing Competition.

Be a part of planning the Student Cafe by getting in on the taste-testing coming soon, and tell us what kai you would like on offer. If you’re really keen on LUSA, get involved in clubs, become a student rep, or start preparing your campaign for the LUSA Elections.

Have a great Easter Lincoln, Mā te wā 2

Hi everyone! I am Jan (Yarn) Buter, a fourth year Agricultural Science student. Firstly thank you for voting me in as your new Vice President. It’s exciting to think that I will be able to help you get your voice heard on campus.

Throughout my time at Lincoln I have been heavily involved in the student life, organising and helping with many of the awesome events that LUSA and the clubs run on campus.

Over the last four years there have been many friends and staff that have made me feel at home at this small but proud university. As this is my final year I would love to give back to the campus that has given me so much.

I wish to put into practise all the skills I learnt as a club president, for your benefit and for Lincoln University long term, ensuring that present and future students will have the same positive experience I had. In this role I will be supporting the LUSA President in sharing his work load and representing your voice in staff meetings on campus.

That means I NEED to hear your voice. So if you see me wandering around campus, feel free to stop me and share your thoughts. Because your opinion counts!

LUSA.ORG.NZ

RAM

THE STUDENT’S MAGAZINE

Get rewarded when you contribute to the RAM!

07: 10: 13: 18: 23: 29: 31:

Orientation Highlights Living on Campus Cure the Chocolate Coma

Articles: Done some cool shit? We wanna hear it!

Lincoln Good Sorts

For more info visit lusa.org.nz/ram To submit a piece email media@lusa.org.nz

The Truth About Studying Abroad

Follow us & keep up to date: lusa.nz

Snapchat, Snapchat Flat of the Month

Letters to the Ed: Spin a yarn, we love hearing what you’ve got to say.

studentsatlincoln

Editor and Design

Printer

Laura Illingworth media@lusa.org.nz

RAM is printed

by Inkwise

Well we are already one month into it, hardly seems that long ago you were all fresh eyed and bushy tailed. I guess the saying does go; time flies by when you’re having fun.

Lucky for you lot there is only a couple of weeks left until term break, whaaaat? How did that happen? Not only could this

Opinion Column: Share your opinion about literally anything!

break come quick enough but neither could Easter. Its the perfect excuse to eat chocolate for breakfast, lunch and dins.

As we move from Summer into Autumn, remember to keep warm and hold out for the moment LU turns the heaters back on!

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The Exec is elected by the student body and each member represents a group of students.

Each year, seven students are elected to form the LUSA Executive. This group of students sit on every single committee possible within the University. They also know all the big-wigs, so they know who to talk to to get things happening. Get in touch with them for any issue, big or small, and work with them to make change happen.

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Ally Burns

Portfolio: Cultural Diversity I have attended a few international events around campus and Christchurch City, including the study abroad evening at Lincoln and the Christchurch Educated International Students Association (CEISA) Welcome Event on Friday in the city. This has been a fantastic way to initiate relationships with fellow Lincoln students!!

I will now be exploring different ways in which these connections can become more common on campus between domestic and international students.

Mac Thomson

Portfolio: Student Well-Being/Campus Life I am beginning to build a framework that allows students to contact LUSA during stressful circumstances and then be effectively referred from there. I am also joining the National Welfare Committee, part of NZUSA, which will provide me with knowledge of what other institutions do in the area of students well-being.

Also I will be sharing the information provided in a mental health report being released in April that will provide an insight into how students at universities around New Zealand are going.

Claire McCorkindale

Portfolio: Linking UC and Lincoln/Community Keep an eye out for community week coming up from the 19th-23rd of March. We will be having a whole load of cool events going on, which will give you the opportunity to give a bit of time back to the wider community and have fun while doing it! Our president is getting ready to lose his mop for Shave for a Cure, so make sure you get behind it or if you want to lose your mop too you’re more than welcome to join the Lincoln Uni team.

Dawn Hopkins

Portfolio: Club and Media Engagement I have only just begun my journey at Lincoln and so far, I love every part of what it has to offer. During the first weeks I was drawn into the association by the events and advertising I saw around campus.

As a Future Leader Scholar this year, I hope to seize every opportunity made available to me by the program and I hope to do the same on the LUSA Exec.

I believe I am an approachable person who others can trust and be honest with. I am outgoing, but also very down to earth, realistic and reliable. I feel these attributes will help me listen to and effectively represent the student’s opinions.

I believe the role of General Representative will open me up to many different areas within University Life, not just from a student perspective.

This year I would like to assist in creating a stronger representation by first year students in clubs and events within the University. This is where I believe being a first year halls resident on the Exec will help as I can make sure our voice is heard.

I would like to help encourage involvement through increasing the engagement between LUSA and students by introducing them to the wonder which is the LUSA Facebook page.

By doing these things I believe we can create a stronger presence in clubs and events such as Thursdays in Black and over all create an awesome student experience for 2018. I can’t wait to begin an exciting year with a bunch of amazing people.

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Orientation Highlights Orientation Week 2018 came and went in the blink of an eye, but lucky for you, we had a camera so we could capture the best bits!

The Traffic Light Party saw the LUSA Exec inflate over 500 balloons with helium to make the giant balloon arch that, at the end of the night, left the venue with just about as much grace at the party goers.

The Hypnotist Night was an intimate show with some pretty intimate moments as the girls learnt what love at first sight meant, it was a ‘you had to be there’ moment.

The Tramping and Climbing Club hosted a walk in the Port Hills that took many students to new heights and allowed them to see the entire Christchurch City.

With Orientation done and dusted, it’s time to get stuck in and figure out a healthy balance between studying and partying and don’t forget to start saving your pennies for Winterfest, it’s going to be epic!

Find more photos on LUSA’s Facebook page.

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Moving into a new place and with a bunch of strangers is by far the most daunting experience I have ever had, however now a month and a bit into living in the halls I’ve found it to be one of the best experiences of my life.

University is definitely not what I expected, never before did I think my parents would be proud of me for having naps throughout the day. Alas they are, and I get to live in a pretty awesome place in close proximity to everything!

I have an awesome RA (Residential Assistant) who lives in my hall and is available to help me with any problems or questions I might have so that’s reassuring, especially because they are less like a parent and more like “One Of The Best an older, wiser sibling. So it’s kind of Experiences Of nice to think that I’m almost following My Life!” in their footsteps and if they can survive that long I know I can.

The first few weeks are an adjustment knowing that you don’t have a curfew or time you need

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to check in with your parents and the new found freedom is a whirlwind. Plus there is always so much going on, and heaps to be involved in!

Anyway, below are a few more things that my friends and I love about being in the Halls here at Lincoln!

“The new found sense of freedom and independence is the best feeling ever, and not something I had even considered. Plus I never have to cook or clean, life is bloody great! “ “I get to roll out of bed and go straight into my lecture, everything is so close and convenient.”

“Campus is actually a really nice place to live, it is beautiful! There’s like heaps of trees and stuff”

“I’ve met lots of new people from everywhere in the world and mingled with lots of cultures and international students! It’s so nice that this University is so diverse!”

“I get to live super close to my best friends and we can reminisce the memories we made of our nights out the next morning!”

“There’s always something to do whether it be at the hall, with the Rec Centre or organised by LUSA. My opportunities are endless!”

“Always Dessert!”

“Seriously good closet space!”

“The food here is top notch. Stoked this was the year Annabel Langbein helped with our food choices.”

“Long Showers, where no one can kick me out!”

“Definitely the free parking! Even if I did have to learn how to parallel park!”

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WINTERFEST 2018

LUSA PRESENTS

Winterball 2018 THURSDAY 19TH JULY 8.00PM – MIDNIGHT THE WOOLSTON CLUB

LIMITED EARLY BIRD TICKETS* ON SALE FROM 26TH MARCH *THEY'LL

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BE WAAAY CHEAPER, SO GET IN QUICK!

Did you know that sugar can cause hangovers? It’s true.

Here are some of the symptoms of sugar hangover: • Gas or bloating • Headache • Constipation • Diarrhoea • Skin problems • Erratic emotions Many of them are actually similar to how you might feel after too much alcohol. And there’s a reason for that...

Too much alcohol, just like too much sugar, affects your kidneys, liver, stomach and small intestines. Dehydration, electrolyte imbalances, gastrointestinal disturbances and disruption of sleep are some of the results.

Sweet Tips Tip 1: Be Portion Smart Enjoy your favourite Easter treats in small amounts, a healthy, balanced diet always has room for a little chocolate. After all, no one wants to feel deprived during the only time of the year that it’s acceptable to have chocolate for breakfast, see tip 4.

Tip 2: Choose Quality over Quantity The best reason to choose quality chocolate, apart from that luscious taste, is that it’s much easier to eat in moderation. Think about how much harder it is to finish a bar of dark chocolate that’s 90% cocoa than to polish off a block of Cadbury Dairy Milk which is only 26%.

Tip 3: Savour, Don’t Scoff We tend to wolf down ‘bad’ foods without paying attention to the flavour or noticing how much we’re actually eating. Ironically, this only deprives us of the pleasure and enjoyment we were seeking in the first place! You’ll be surprised at just how good it tastes by savouring it.

Tip 4: Time your treats Chocolate for breakfast? Oh, but it’s Easter! When sweet treats are everywhere you look, you may be tempted to tuck in at all times of day. A simple way to curb this tendency is to eat such goodies only for dessert. We save other sweet foods for after-dinner treats, so why not chocolate?

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Free car parking at Uni is a win win kinda deal, students aren’t left outta pocket and lecture theatres are actually full because students turn up. So could you imagine the devastation that would sweep through the uni if we suddenly had to pay for parking at Lincoln?

A few years back, when stereotypes were ‘acceptable’ we would’ve suggested riding your cow or sheep into Uni and parking them up in the fields to graze while you slave away in classes. But times have changed and that solution simply wont do anymore.

Things people have to say about paid parking: “I hate having to carry loose change, unless its for the BK loose change range...”

“Let’s park at New World and walk 5 minutes to Campus because it’s free.” New World to Lincoln Uni; “Your student’s are parking in our car parks. We will start clamping.” Shit, now it’s a loose loose kinda deal.

“Isn’t this already included in my uni fees?”

“Seriously? F*ck that.”

Everybody knows a Wilson’s and everybody hates them, we don’t want to be the car park that everyone loves to hate!

Here’s some things we think would a better use for our loose change: 1. Buy a chocolate bar 2. Donate it to charity 3. Go to the movies 4. Go shopping at Savemart

Fact One: LUSA stands for Lincoln University Students Association, duh.

Fact Two: All Universities have a Students’ Association — UCSA are our inferior neighbours ;) Fact Three: NZUSA, or New Zealand Union of Students Association, is the overarching organisation that LUSA and other students associations are members of.

We understand students down here in Lincoln.

I, as president, and sometimes along with the other LUSA exec members, get together with the other Students’ Association presidents and executives monthly in Wellington to decide the collective view of students in NZ. That’s right, we speak for approximately 400,000 domestic students, as well as international students on top of that.

We then inform the government on what it is that students want. And through representing nearly 1/8th of New Zealanders, we get their attention alright. #Jacindamania On the flipside, when the Government is playing silly buggers, we lobby for change.

Wait, wait, wait, you say. So you’re telling me that those funny people in the wee Forbes office are helping set the countries agenda — and not just cooking sausages? Yeah, essentially.

In the past, this included getting behind a nuclear free country, and getting our troops out of Vietnam.

5. Get a male student haircut (unless you’re doing Shave For A Cure)

But recently it has been NZUSA giving you a $50 student allowance bonus, higher student loans, and free fees.

6. Get a magazine

Aaand we cook the odd bacon butty, ffs.

7. Buy a scratchie and double your change

If this interests YOU, we want YOU to get involved.

Whether it be in clubs, as a student rep, or running for the LUSA Elections in August. Be a part of the student movement, it’s well worth it.

8. Sign up to a club

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Name: Angus 'Sass' Lindsay Age: Somewhere between 35 and 68 Sex: Unsure Marital Status: Single Education: Fuck all. Angus (Sass) Lindsay the Bigfoot that could, decided to come to Southland to show us what the Hawkes Bay was made of but went home with his tail between his legs and a sore head.

The self proclaimed Hawkes Bay "fucking aye" local, Mr Sass is an expert in doing as little as possible. Many have stated that if Sass was going any slower he'd be in reverse.

Sass was put to work on @knarstonorganics and quickly demonstrated he talks a bigger game than he plays, when tasked with a bit of fencing and asked to do the simple task that is a 'tie off' he managed to produce a piece of wire that looked like a three year olds first drawing of a human, that as a parent you have to pretend to be proud of, while deep inside thinking 'shit, this guys is an idiot'.

However, there was one job I thought Sass had nailed and that was the opening and closing of gates, however shoot me down and call me my cousins dads granddads nephew he managed to fuck that up to, we'd just finished 'set stocking' the ewes for lambing, (which for you townies is when we put a set number of sheep in a set number of paddocks to allow them room to move) anyway after allowing Sass to have the big boys job of opening and closing the gates the day before on the following lambing beat I found a gate that was meant to be closed wide open and sheep mixed up, it was lucky I'd left the alcathine at home because I would have beaten Sass so much he would have wished his mum didn't sleep with Tim Shadbolt back in 1996.

As a reward for all his work we introduced Sass to the Invercargill nightlife where once again he failed to pull, even with the majority of barluca and the lonely full of SIT students and Freezing workers looking to drown their sorrows. However he still managed to have a lovely time and didn't manage to leave for Christchurch on Sunday till 1:30pm due to a touch of 'alcohol poisoning'. All in all Sass proved a liability and we would not have him back due to his lack of experience and ability to cause fuck ups wherever and whenever he is involved in something. @knarstonorganics 15

advertising the best clubs and club events on campus

Lincoln Young Farmers Join our club!

Lincoln University Mountain Bike Club Bikes, beers and banter!

The Mountain Bike Club is aimed towards improving and developing the skills of students at Lincoln University. Students will be exposed to new tracks that will challenge their riding skills in a fun learning environment with like-minded people

Lincoln Young Farmers is a student run club that packs a lot into the year. We run events such as the Hunting Competition, Speed Shear and Bark Up. We also run weekend trips around the country and hold workshops to develop our members’ skills.

You won’t find a club that knows how to work as hard and play as hard as us.

This year we have developed new goals involving the wider community and have a trip to Queenstown with other South Island Universities to explore new trails!

To sign up – Join the Facebook page ‘Lincoln Uni Mountain Biking Club’ OR Email: maddie.evans@hotmail.co.nz OR Phone: 0272975026

Lincoln Uni Vegans

New Club on Campus

People are going vegan or plant-based for health, environment and animal welfare.

Red meat is now classified a carcinogen, animal agriculture is the top contributor of greenhouse gases worldwide, and billions of animals unnecessarily suffer horrific existences. We will provide community, information, and support to vegans or those considering a plant-based diet. LUV, for health, for the environment, and for animals.

SUBMIT YOUR CLUB TO FEATURE IN THE RAM | 150 WORDS | 1 PIC | MEDIA@LUSA.ORG.NZ 16

Beat the system, buy a subsidised $15 menstrual cup from Wa Collective Step 1. Buy online from wacollective.org.nz Step 2. Orders delivered in 28 day cycles to campus Step 3. Pickup from LU Main Reception & LUSA HQ Cheers to that For more info head to Wa Collective’s Facebook or website and end period waste, poverty and the bloody taboo too wacollective.org.nz

NOMINATE A GOOD SORT Have a mate that is doing awesome things in the community?

Send through their details and what they are up to and it will be published in the next RAM. Plus, you’ll both receive a prize!

Each nominee goes in the draw for a Gold Award at LUSA’s Blue and Gold Awards.

My name is Claire and I am one of the four female firefighters that are part of the Lincoln Volunteer Fire Brigade.

Our brigade is available to respond at any time of the day (even at three in the morning), 365 days a year. Lincoln University is well represented in the Lincoln brigade by both staff and students with our team including Roger McLenaghen (famous for coffee time—not just always for having a spade in hand), Dean O’Connell, Ollie Rutland-Sims, Josh Nelson, myself and our newest recruit Andriy Podolyan.

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The types of emergencies we respond to include structure fires, motor vehicle accidents, alarm activations (usually caused by burnt toast), rescuing stranded German tourists and even saving ducks stuck in a drain.

We all joined because we want to help and serve our community as well as for the thrill and adrenaline rush of being able to ride the fire truck.

A few weeks ago the Lincoln station celebrated 50 years of operating and we look forward to what the next years have in store for us!

If you see Environmental Management as something you need to know more about, but see your future in Commerce then you need to be aware of some of the changes Lincoln has made in 2018.

Or it could be Event Management, or Parks and Outdoor Recreation. They are among the additional majors, which students studying for a Bachelor’s degree can include to add depth to their qualification.

They have been introduced so you can have a broader multi-disciplinary range of knowledge and skills, and be able to have more choice and design your own options. Good for you, your employability, and society, as you will become more aware of contemporary issues and challenges we face.

The full list of additional majors is; Event Management, Parks and Outdoor Recreation, Tourism Management, Water Management, and Environmental Management.

There are more new offerings you need to know about too, all giving you more choice and flexibility.

Commerce has added separate majors in Supply Chain Management and Global Business, as well as a Master of Professional Accounting (CPA), Bachelor of Commerce (Agriculture and Professional Accounting) and a Master of Business in Finance.

There is also a new Diploma in Organic Agri-Food Production.

All the info is on the Lincoln University website, with course contacts listed if you have any questions about adding a major to your degree or you are interested in a new programme.

Take advantage of the opportunity to include a different perspective in your study and you might see some different places your degree can take you, and places you want to go.

It’s on the Lincoln University website under degrees and diplomas, in the study section. There are some restrictions, and they are listed there as well.

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The Bookshop has moved out of Forbes to make room for your new student hangout space! The problem? Nobody seems to know where everything has gone...

The good news? All of the services available to you before are still available now, they’ve just divided.

Stationery, Metro Cards, Textbooks New Location: The Rose Room The Rose Room is now the home of the Bookshop.

In case you don’t know where The Rose Room is, it’s behind the dining hall and beside the rose garden.

Felton thinks this is pretty cosy, there’s nothing like a big, long boring book to send yourself to sleep.

The Forbes ATM Location: Dining Hall Foyer The ATM from Forbes has been relocated to the Dining Hall Foyer where the work stations used to be.

Printing and Postal Services New Location: The Laundry All of the printing and postal services have moved to the Laundry in Hudson, you can’t miss the big green sign.

Card payments only due to security reasons.

Metro cards have also moved to The Bookshop and are not available at The Printery anymore.

Howdy. My name’s Reverend Sampson Knight, and I’m the Senior Chaplain here at Lincoln. Most people I meet nod their heads politely with that slightly glazed look when I’m introduced as “The Chaplain”. But don’t fall asleep quite so fast! Sure, us Uni Chaplain’s are pretty good at dealing with Spiritual matters, but we’re also quite good at listening, baking scones, advocating, lingering handshakes, talking smack and growing basil.

So if we can ever help with any of the above — just drop me an email (chaplain@lincoln.ac.nz).

And just for the record, existential crises are a particular favourite of mine…

Anywho—be you an old dog returning for more academic adventures, or fresh meat exported from your local high school—on behalf of God, it’s my pleasure to welcome you to your first term of 2018 at Lincoln.

For many of you reading this—this term will have been your first few weeks of “freedom”. After years of living under your parents regime of free power and family scrabble nights—you’ll be flicking through these pages of Ram, wiping away tears of ecstasy from the share abundance of boozing and bonking opportunities. “I’ve always wanted an excuse to drink from a gumboot!” you’ll say to yourself. “And besides, it’ll help me prepare for that AgriBusiness paper I’ve told everyone I’m taking.” But as thousands of Lincoln students have discovered, going from limited freedom to infinite freedom in one term can be a pretty tough thing to navigate, without things getting messy.

Now, many of you will choose to avoid the more colourful debauchery and will spend your first few weeks joyfully consuming pies and deep fry from a cheap-n-cheerful Lincoln establishment whilst going on a Settlers of Catan bender.

Others of you will hit the jungle juice a little hard once or twice and wake up with a throbbing head, an empty bank account, and decide the novelty of cask wine has worn off.

But some of you will really struggle to adjust to the smorgasborg of freedom that uni life offers.

You know—we live in an age where students and twenty-somethings feel huge pressure to do everything, all at the same time: party hard... But also, study hard! Write a novel... but also, write a thesis! Travel the world... but also, settle down and get work experience! As writer Jonathan Safran Foer put it “Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living.”

At it’s best your first year of Uni is a festive celebration of the future fruit of the year ahead: friends, frivolity, fried chicken. At it’s worst term 1 is a messy attempt to escapes our self doubts and the pressure to be all things to everyone else.

So take some lovingly advice from a holy man who’s been around the block a few times: Don’t party so hard that you never get around to studying. And don’t study so hard that you never get around to making friends.

Because you really can have a fulfilling student experience at Lincoln without having to drink until vomit comes out your nose. And you can get good grades without self-imposed solitary confinement.

So pace yourself. Make space to meet new people. And make the most of your first week of freedom at Lincoln.

Rev Sampson (Senior Chaplain) Hudson 101/102 FB: LU Chaplaincy

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Spend a Spend a semester semester overseas overseas

LincOE LincOE Lincoln University Overseas Exchange

FAIR FAIR Lincoln University Overseas Exchange

Want to find out more? www.lincoln.ac.nz/lincOE Want to find out more?

E: diane.dehaan@lincoln.ac.nz 22 P: 03 423 0048 www.lincoln.ac.nz/lincOE

Thursday 22 March 10.00am 2.00pm Thursday–22 March Forbes Foyer 10.00am – 2.00pm An exciting opportunity to come Forbes Foyer along to talk about your options An exciting opportunity to come to spend one or two semesters along to talk about your options studying overseas! to spend one or two semesters studying overseas!

In Semester 2, 2017, I studied at the University of Guelph, Ontario, Canada through the Lincoln University Overseas Exchange. It was an awesome, challenging and rewarding experience all at once and I am so grateful for the privilege to participate in the programme!

My trip started at the beginning of July where I travelled and worked across the 4 western provinces of Canada for 2 months before starting my semester at the end of August in the 5th Province Ontario. So I got to experience the peak of the Canadian Summer. I didn’t leave till midJanuary in the peck of winter with temperatures below -10°C in Guelph and below -20°C in many other places of Canada. It got as cold as -40°C with wind chill whilst traveling the eastern Canadian Provinces!

Meeting people and making lifelong friends from all around the world was another big part of the exchange which you can learn an incredible amount from. It was awesome to learn about different cultures and perspectives, as well as getting amongst all the traditions from friends from all areas of the world. I travelled every province of Canada from the very most western point to the most eastern point of the provinces. I also did 8 states of America, Cuba, China and Australia throughout my travel.

If you are planning to go to Guelph, I recommend finding international friends and doing Christmas together in the heart of old Quebec City and then Montreal for New Years, because as long as you can put up with the snow and -20°C then you will have the time of your life! Places you have to visit if you get a chance is Quebec City, Halifax, New York, Banff, Jasper, Athabasca, Niagra Falls, Boston and definitely get amongst the $1 beers on a Monday/Thursday downtown Guelph. If you’re into your dairy farming and would like work let me know and I can provide contacts for you to stay with host families or work etc. If country music and dancing is your thing then your priority should be to go to the Ranch in Guelph on a Thursday night and if you make it to Alberta, true country is found at Billy Bob’s in Red Deer.

Overall it was an experience of a lifetime and I could never promote doing this exchange enough! You will just have to do it yourself to understand what I mean!

Braydon Schroder

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JOIN THE “BRING THE SCROLLS BACK TO MRS O’S” CAMPAIGN!

As my friend Ana and I walk into Mrs O’s with the intent of having a delicious bacon and cheese scroll, we searched intensely and they were nowhere to be seen. Quite disappointed we proceeded to ask a friendly staff member who knew we were regular 'scrollers', she had to break the sad news…

For those of you who were deprived of scrolls and cannot connect with the scroll passion, join us in our hopeful fight, so you can try one for yourself!

“There are no scrolls anymore.”

Peace out Hannah-Rose White & Ana Comerlato

That answer was unacceptable, so Lincoln students we need your help. Let’s all stand together and shout #STOP #DROP #SCROLL

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Snap this code to sign the petition:

The Reviewer Section calling all movie goers, game players and readers

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck Mark Manson

Titus Andronicus Court Theatre

If you like blood and guts, then this is the play for you.

A Shakespearean play for the bloodthirsty mob. Watching it was like sitting through a really warped old school version of Game of Thrones, where, SPOILER ALERT, in the end almost everyone dies a bloody death.

Set in Rome, the last Emperor has died, leaving the position up for grabs and his sons are fighting for it, in addition to a returning popular general (who doesn’t want it and won’t take it).

Dramas, etc. leading to revenge killing, underhandedness and general craziness...

I don’t usually go for self help books because it tends to be the same old shit, smile more, love more, hate less, don’t give up, it’s gonna be okay, blah blah blah.... but this one was an exception.

The first half of it was my favourite. The aim of this book is to help the reader to think a little bit more clearly about what they’re choosing to find important in life and what they’re choosing to find unimportant.

It’s brutal but it’s 100% relatable.

It’s worth the read and you’ll definitely come out with a different look on everything.

“Negative emotions are a call to action. When you feel them, it’s because you’re supposed to do something.

Positive emotions, on the other hand, are rewards for taking the proper action.”

It’s pretty grisly with all manner of human depravity, people losing hands left and right, infidelity, sexual assault, murder & trickery. You name it, it’s got it!

Put together with sound and lighting effects, copious amounts of fake blood and there’s a very real chance you might get sprayed in the front row!

Hot Tip; eat dinner before the show lol.

Verina Telling

SUBMIT YOUR REVIEW TO THE RAM AND WIN | 150 WORDS | MEDIA@LUSA.ORG.NZ 25

Fact: SJS is available to all students and individuals up to one year post study.

Domestic, international (provided your visa says yes), young, old, green or blue.

Fact: Only 50% of jobs on offer are ‘grass-cutter’ jobs (i.e. low skill, low pay).

The other 50% ask for more skill and specialisation, suitable to Lincoln Grads.

GET SET WITH SJS + WIN $1500

Farming, it’s there. Accounting, tick. Tourism, yes. Science, of course.

Fiction: The process of calling up SJS and looking for a job takes way too long, and is a waste of time.

Fact: This vetting process is a great way to practice interviews for when you do get a big-boy job later in life, and suggestions are provided to you by the guy on the phone.

Fact: Lincoln students make 850k per year through SJS. That’s a fair whack, but we think we can do better.

So get in touch with SJS: Do the bank balance a favour, perhaps learn a new skill, and add to your university experience.

We’re supporting Shave for a Cure

during Community & Volunteer Week

To register on the LU team to SHAVE/SPRAY OR DONATE head to shaveforacure.co.nz and search for Lincoln University.

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LUSA are funded through the compulsory student services fee, alongside Lincoln Uni and Lincoln Hospitality Limited. This pie chart shows who gets what, and what for.

We have an agreement with the Uni to provide services for you including: • Clubs and Societies • Student Advice & Support • Media: RAM & Design Services • Advocacy • Student Reps • Student Job Search

Counselling Services, Chaplaincy & Pastoral Care 9.49% 14.13%

Advocacy & Legal Advice

Health Services Clubs & Societies

17.13%

LUSA

LU Financial Support & Advice

8. 45%

2 .40%

Careers Info, Advice & Guidance

0 4 .0

3

%

.1 6

%

6. 3

0% 0. 3 1%

LHL

Media Student Job Search

Childcare Services

We get a small percentage of Sports, Recreation & Cultural Activities to use for the events we put on.

34.62%

Sports, Recreation & Cultural Activites

Don’t ( be a dick and) let the FLU fly under your radar this year!

Serious outbreak and illness in UK 2017 and coming our way!

DON’T LET THE FLU GET YOU? RECKON YOU WON’T GET IT? YEAH RIGHT! NZ vaccine will be an upgraded version to the one used in U.K and that is why there has been delay in delivery to NZ. Likely mid April 2018.

Get it FREE here on CAMPUS When you get back from semester break, watch here for when & where or contact student health.

Protect yourself, your colleagues and family. Get immunised.

What is The Immunisation Advisory Centre (IMAC)?

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Easy Puzzle 4,980,185,134 The classic sudoku

3 8

2

7

5

9

3

6

8

5 2

4

5

9 1 8

7 1

6

7

5

4

7

6

3

3

3

8

7 1

9 6

7

2 7

1 5

1

8

© Web Sudoku 2018 ­ www.websudoku.com

D

Today’s Goals: Amazing – 13

We live in a world where people lick other people’s buttholes, but it is still considered nasty to double dip chips...

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6

7

E

How many words of three of more letters, including plurals, can you make from the five letters, using each letter only once? No foreign words or words beginning with a capital oku.com/?level=1are allowed. There’s at least one five letter word. https://www.websudoku.com/?level=3

Ponder this:

4

U

Good – 6 Excellent – 11

1

2

Word-Builder © Web Sudoku 2018 ­ www.websudoku.com

N

5

4

R

3 6

3

2 9

4

2

9

6

4

7

9 7

9

4

Hard Puzzle 8,374,689,551 The slightly harder classic sudoku

1/1

5

lusa.nz

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Lincoln University is building an cafe on the ground floor of the Forbes Building, and on Saturday 3rd March, six unlucky students got the unfortunate job of cafe crawling around Canterbury to research for the cafe. LUSA provided the cost for food and drinks so that we could eat and experience the culture and atmosphere. We had to gather ideas and make judgment to each cafe so that we could collaborate all ideas and create a new cafe space here at Lincoln University.

We visited 9 cafes; Park ranger, Addington Coffee Co-op, Black Betty, C1, Unknown Chapter, Hello Sunday, Coffee Culture and Hillyer’s Cottage. We discovered that each cafe had their own character.

Quite often they all had their own unique element to their own style, a theme to show what they were all about. We spent time at Little High Eatery for lunch where we found different cultural food from all over

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the world in one location. The cafes were vibrant and the atmosphere was youthful and energetic.

The food wasn’t easy to pick but no matter what choice you made, it was the right choice. We stuffed food in our belly all the while making us even more tired. We called it a day after our final visit at Coffee Culture.

Volunteering for LUSA is such hard work...

Outcomes? We want a student led establishment that offers sustainable, fair-trade coffee, and a unique selection of food that is more 'studenty'. It must also walk the Lincoln walk, following the theme of what we do as a University and community. Stay tuned, this place is going to be mint.

Q&A EXCLUSIVE WHO DOES MOST OF THE COOKING? BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, IS IT ANY GOOD? Katherine! Always coming up with creative, delicious meals.

FAVOURITE FLAT MEAL? Thai beef stir fry :)) WHO TAKES THE LONGEST TO GET READY? Holly (always making us late!)

WHAT’S THE DUMBEST THING YOUR FLATTIES HAVE DONE? Katherine bringing in the fake plastic laying egg and putting it proudly on the shelf, LOL

“Saucy, self sufficient, smart, sassy sisters.

Living the dream on the fantastic, funky farm with our frisky chickens and farm yard friends.”

16 Fabulous Flatties! That’s 5 humans, 1 cat, 1 sheep, 7 chickens, 2 pigs and a lotta love MEET THE HUNNIES HOLLY: I have orange hair and a soul...

SAM: “Im hungry” Come and collect your party pack from LUSA! Sign up for Flat of the Month at lusa.org.nz

KATHERINE: Drinks wine, actually enjoys it ALICE: I’m a Lincoln girl through and through #lincolnprimary #lincolnhigh #lincolnuni LIBBY: Last man standing, NOT #liability

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Free buses will be available back from Larcomb to Lincoln and Christchurch City.

Tickets available now from iticket.co.nz, search LUSA Grad Ball

LINCOLN UNIVERSITY BRANDED CLOTHING Did you hear? There’s a new guy on the block and he’s brought his mates. Check out the new range of merch available soon!

Online orders available at lusa.org.nz from Monday 9th April.

Pop up Stall at Graduation on Friday 13th April.

Full range of colours & prints will be available online.

A. Tee $25 B. Sleeve $35 C. Hoodie $50