RAM March 2019

MARCH Maehe 2019

ISSUE NO. 02

Your Student Magazine

BE AVERS B

PE S

A N T ER

PRE Z T ER T HE PLANET O GIGS

LUSA PRESENTS

FEATURING

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AL C A RC O

O ' WEE

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R A ZE

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UPGRADES ON US FOR UNDER 25s

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Your President Rate Your Mate O'Week Re-Cap MDMA / Ecstacy Clubs Noticeboard Beavers Banter Your Yarn Pester the Pres Charcoal Craze Snapchat Royalty lusa.nz

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Your Student Magazine

COMMS@LUSA.ORG.NZ 3

BOOK OF THE MONTH:

It's one of the greatest love, action, revenge stories ever abridged by a modern author.

I consider "The Princess Bride" as one of my all-time favourite films.

I think I was about 11 when I first saw the movie and a score or more latter, the love of Buttercup and Wesley still brings warmth to my heart. Besides this, how could I forget Inigo Montoya?

Mandy Patinkin immortalized this character with his delivery of the famous line, "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father... Prepare to die!" Sigh! If you haven't heard about this tale (where have u been?), just with

the title alone, you can tell that this book is fairy tale. And you're right, it is, but it's a fairy tale that pushes the boundaries of the genre. So time and again, when you think you know how things might turn out based on typical fairy tale tropes, this one messes with your expectations. The narrative is a bit unusual, and so is the story of the princess bride herself and the various men ensnared in her plot line. So if you like giants, sword fights, and overgrown rats, or you just enjoy a book that messes with your head a bit, read "The Princess Bride" and join its legion of fans.

SUBMIT YOUR BOOK REVIEW TO FEATURE IN THE RAM | 50 WORDS | COMMS@LUSA.ORG.NZ

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Can you believe it's less than three weeks till mid term break? And what a term it's been already! Jam-packed with LUSA events and there's plenty more where that came from!

Have you been hitting up your very own student bar, Mrs O's on Thursday nights for some great gigs? DJ CSM is our very own resident DJ and he's also a pretty dab hand at photography too!

There’ll be attractions galore, including a petting zoo, sheep shearing demos, food trucks, fun inflatables for the kids, buskers, a wine-tasting stand from our viticulture and oenology department and tons more.

Then we have Grad Ball, Winterball and Winterfest coming up to keep a smile on your dial as we watch the leaves fall and step into our red bands!

On Wednesday 27th March we have

Don't worry, LUSA's got you covered for

some massive DJ's coming down from Auckland to grace your doof doof lovin' ears. So grab a ticket for only $10 from iticketnz. There will be $4 beers, $5 ciders and $4 fries every Thursday night at Mrs O's, so be sure to follow our social media for all gig updates!

an awesome student experience, so make sure you get out there and make the most of it!

Community Day is happening this Sunday 24th March on campus, from 10am - 4pm. So make sure you come along to Forbes Lawn and support this event organised by our students.

RAM IS YOUR MAGAZINE! So get involved and you'll be rewarded with awesome gifts, like tickets to Garden Party.

PREZ

NOTICES FEMALE FOOTBALLERS WANTED! Selwyn United are looking for female players for this winter season.

Social Sunday or competitive Saturday league.

Training starts now, come get involved!

We play at Foster Park in Rolleston Contact womens@sufc.nz

Articles Done some cool stuff? We wanna hear about it!

PESTER THE PREZ Share you opinion. The more controversial the better.

RATE YOUR MATE Not how hot they are, but your mates story about their awesome achievements.

For more info visit lusa.org.nz/ram To submit a piece email comms@lusa.org.nz

Follow us & keep up to date: lusa.nz

FIELD RESEARCH CENTRE'S ANNUAL FRUIT SALE Royal Gala Apples Taylors Gold Pears and Braeburn Apples to follow.

Apples and Pears, 3kg bags for $5 Field Research Centre lunchroom.

9 am – 4 pm Weekdays As we don’t have the time to sell the fruit in person, we have to rely on everyone’s honesty.

Please pay what you take into the red box, next to the fruit (cash only. No “IOUs” please).

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Editor & Design

Printer

Julia Wills comms@lusa.org.nz

RAM is printed

by Inkwise

READ RAM ONLINE: www.lusa.org.nz/ram 5

YOUR PRESIDENT

We did it!

Pulled off an absolute belter of an O’Week! Thank you so much to you all for your support and participation across the week - we hope you all enjoyed yourself and had a good time! The LUSA staff and I have already had our Orientation debrief (at the Grouse, chahooo) so we’ve already discussed what we could improve on and put some ideas together for what O’Week 2020 may look like. Thanks to those that provided feedback on what we did well and what we could do better!

My personal highlights from O’Week: - Watching two of my mates open I Heart Toga with their DJ set. Get along to Mrs O’s on Thursday nights to catch more of CSM in action!

- Partying in the mosh pit with you all at Ivey Dreams!

Meeting Hermitude will run a close 2nd…..

- Seeing Forbes Lawn packed out with vibrancy and diversity on a beautiful sunny day at Clubs Market. And I got to push the siren in the police car! And dress up as a firefighter!

- Bogan Bingo. I can’t recall the last time I laughed that hard! And I do laugh a lot - Rounding off the week in style at Planet O, and seeing how much you all enjoyed Summer Thieves, The Chats and Lime Cordiale.

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add to your student experience. Having somewhere for you to go to socialise and unwind is important to us, and to be honest, we’re probably one of the only universities that doesn’t have their own bar on campus that students can go to. BUT THAT HAS CHANGED. So get involved, and get down there on Thursdays after lectures or in the evening to cut some shapes on the dance floor to DJ CSM’s tunes.

Otherwise, if we don’t get the uptake, we’ll end up losing it. Drinks are cheap, food is cheap as chips (literally – the chips are $4!), and it’s there for you. So go for it! Keep an eye out for our Planet O ticketed events as well – we had The Butlers and Dolphin Friendly the other week and it was epiiiiiiiiiic!

It was such a special week, and so on that note, I just wanted to give a huge shout out to the LUSA Staff and Executive who busted their gut for you lot to organise and run a massive week. They put in a monumental amount of hours, and put their lives and families on hold, so thank you all very much team! If you see any of them, I hope you’ll join me in thanking them too.

It was a bloody pleasure as well meeting many of you (sober or drunk) across all of the events. I always love a good yarn and hearing your feedback, so never hesitate to approach me. Special shout out to the girl who shouted me a cider at Planet O! That went straight to my head because I was sick, but you’re a legend! Make sure you introduce yourself one day and I’ll try return the favour one night if you come to Mrs O’s on a Thursday night.

Community Day is also coming up on the 24th March, and it’s all about the public coming onto campus and seeing what an amazing bunch of people the LU students are and how special our university is. There’s heaps of fun activities, plenty of clubs will be there, so if you’d like to get involved and do a good deed for a couple of hours on a Sundee, get in touch and you’ll go in the draw for some tickets to Garden Party for volunteering your time – choice! This event is our way of giving back to the Lincoln township and the wider Selwyn district to thank them for accommodating us in their backyards every year, so I hope to see plenty of you there!

That’s all from me because I probably lost you at the mention of the Grouse on the 4th line. Have a goodie, look after yourselves and I’ll see you soon!

We’re over halfway through the first term by the time you read this, so I hope that you’re all settling in to (or back into) uni life. The doors are always open at LUSA (between 8:30am-4:00pm obviously) to come and ask us any questions or share any issue with us, big or small. We’re here for you!

There is so much to keep an eye out for before we reach the first mid-semester break for the year.

First cab off the rank is Thursday night’s in Mrs O’s. A bit of background – we have never had a student bar open on campus, and so this is the year that we are bringing you something that can really

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YOUR 2019 EXECUTIVE jennifer tregurtha General Rep

Ollie Rutland-Sims

Max Lichtenstein Secretary

Vice President

Kia Ora whanau! Ke te pehea koutou?

Holy turd balls, what a couple of weeks it has been!

Those O’Week events were wicked!

What a way to start the year off eh?!

For those of you who missed out, for whatever reason, don’t stress! There are plenty more events that we’ve got planned, that will blow your socks off! Or, if you’re more into keeping your feet warm, we have got that sorted to.

Planet O is set to bring some stellar bands to our sweet campus. These bands are so rad that in 40 years’ time when you’re all old and nostalgic, kids will be talking about Planet O in 2019 as the Woodstock of our generation!

So get your tickets from iticket and make history with us!

Now for those of you who prefer some of life’s other activities and may have missed Clubs and Markets Day. Jump on over to lusa.org.nz/clubs and take a look at the diverse range of wicked clubs that you can join. This semester there have already been some pretty sweet trips and activities that these groups have put on.

In other news: Take a stroll down to Mrs O’s on a Thursday night and grab a cold pint and a bowl of chips.

We’re well into the swing of the semester and the last few weeks have been a battle! By now I’ve hopefully meet you some of you face to face and chewed the fat.

Hey team! How good was O'Week?! Hope you have all settled in to another semester of uni and your first few weeks have been enjoyable. I've been trying to get some stuff off the ground for the day students (psssttt… don't forget to follow the Instagram - lu.day.students), and am about to start organising groups for some of the lower enrolment degrees here - watch this space! As always, feel free to chat to me about anything if you see me round campus.

The executive team have been working hard for the improvement of your student experience; the biggest Week Lincoln has ever seen was epic fun, Planet O and the Thursday night gigs are building, our portfolio planning is going well and our first board meeting was a success!

Coming up, the Pres and I are renewing some of the policies that outline how LUSA conducts its business. The big ones for this are developing a sustainability policy that ensures LUSA is held accountable for its environmental impact and our health and safety policy. In terms of overall management, we are also redeveloping and strengthening our strategic plan in the near future– our aim for this is to have as much student input as possible because LUSA solely exists for the benefit of Lincoln students! So if you have any thoughts, opinions or feelings as to what you think it should look like, get in touch! You can send me an email or PM us on FB. Nga mihi, Max

james lee International Rep We made it! After an unreal O’Week involving an unreal amount of alcohol, we’re into proper uni life. I’m not too sure when this gets published, but right now we’re 2 weeks into lectures and I can confirm that there are already talks among my freshers about dropping out, s/o to the Quarters (Hall)! I can also confirm that my over-commitment issues have caused me to stress out multiple times already (yay!), turns out pairing LUSA exec with being an RA on top of my studies does not equal a chill time, who would’ve known! But that’s enough about me, how are you doing? Just barely surviving? Well that’s good to hear! Now back to me. The next few weeks are going to be super exciting, the International Buddy Programme is off the ground and I’ve got a bunch of events planned (spoiler: one involves the Crusaders). On top of that, I get to talk to the Selwyn Council about some future developments involving International Night!

And throughout that whole time I’ll be amongst it with the freshers; watching them power chuck into the bushes and making sure everyone gets home safe and happy after another night of regretful decisions. But yeah that’s about it, life’s good! But then again, life’s always good at Lincoln (sunglasses emoji) (not too sure if you can actually get emojis in here).

Jemma Ramsey Post Grad Rep Wooweee how good, the biggest O Week that Lincoln has ever had is done and dusted! It was so incredible to be a part of OWeek and work behind the scenes with LUSA staff and Exec. I thoroughly enjoyed Ivey Dreams, who would have thought that an act like Hermitude would come to little ole Lincoln, well he did and I’m so excited to see what acts we will have in 2019!

I encourage all Lincoln students to get active and go to events, as we are trying to cater for you guys and give you all a Uni experience that we hope that you’ll enjoy, so get it amongst team!

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CREATIVE WRITING

we all have the superpower to heal each other…

Ellen Pryor Tumuaki of Te Awhioraki

Jacob Wright General Rep Yo guys!!!

How good was O week? It was so good to see so many of you guys going hard right throughout the week.

Hopefully everyone’s beginning to get back into the swing of the studies and you are beginning to smash out those first few assignments.

Over the next wee while we have some pretty sweet stuff coming up for you all such as the Planet O events, as well as some wicked other things to look forward to, so it would be awesome to see you all getting involved in these.

All in all I hope everything is going really well for you all, so keep up the awesome work. Please don't be afraid to hit me up if you are needing a hand with anything as there is heaps of support around if you need it.

All the best for the rest of the term and have a mint few weeks break over April.

Kia ora Lincoln fam,

Sam Blackmore General Rep 10

Kia ora e te whanau!

Our first few weeks have been full on for Te Awhioraki, getting to know each other, learning what our roles are for the coming year and figuring out class schedules.

At the beginning of O’Week, we were involved in the first years Goose Chase, we got to interact with new students and they got to see Te Whare Whakakotahi in all its glory and showed us their Maori place name knowledge.

Some of our exec members have been attending café Reo every Friday, in order to expand their understanding of Te Reo Maori.

Café Reo is a chance to have a tea or coffee and a korero with MAST 121 students and staff using basic Te Reo, under the guide of Matiu Payne.

We have had a few students already using Te Whare as a study space, utilising the kitchen to cook their dinner, this should get busier as the weeks get busier and our Tuesday and Thursday study session get up and running.

Study sessions will run from 4.30pm until late.

Kapa haka has been moved to Te Whare this year with the first session starting Monday 11 March at 3pm.

Post O-week come downs are always hard, I’m sure some of Just a reminder that Te Whare Whakakotahi you will still be hanging out for is open to all students. Kaore e whakama! Nau that serotonin to pick up again! mai haere mai ki Te Whare Whakakotahi!

Luckily there are some weekly Don’t be shy! Welcome to Te Whare shindigs going down at little old Whakakotahi!

Mrs O’s to keep you on the social roll. So keen for The Butlers to kick us off and can’t wait to see what the hard working LUSA office have in store for us next!

I’m pretty keen on hearing any ideas on what you guys would like on campus for wellbeing, so flick me an email at sam.blackmore@lincolnuni.ac.nz with your thoughts!

Nga mihi nui

When someone shares a story of their life with you that is “overwhelming”… You begin to think… “How should I respond? What are the right words? Can I just disappear to avoid this uncomfortable situation?”

Most of us do not know how to respond to an unfamiliar story of another person. Even the most extroverted are at times left baffled for the right words.

Let’s be honest everyone goes through different types of sh*t and we cannot fully understand until we are in that persons shoes.

Let me explain where I am coming from through my own experience. I endured a pregnancy in isolation residing a city that was new for me; I am also a domestic violence (DV) survivor and have been a single mother for a year now. Although, I try my best to keep my wounds to myself, but there are days, my soul needs answers from me as I recall my walk through the battle I encountered. It was like being shot, one bullet after another without any time to heal.

Most days, I fake a smile to be part of society. On rare occasions, if I do share my story, people are usually speechless and not sure how to communicate back with me. When we hear someone’s dark story, most of us say “sorry” and try not to further talk about it; assuming that bringing up a sensitive topic will inflict more pain. Days later, if we bump into each other, we act as if we never had that conversation. But it’s not ok; if we just close our eyes, the issues they don’t automatically disappear.

Suppose if someone is grieving the death of their loved one, recovering from an injury, going through a breakup/divorce or even trying to fit into a new university or country. The recovery process could take months and even years. The least we can do is be empathic to those around us. It is easier to donate

our used clothes or canned food to help those in need.

While any help is a precious raindrop that raises the sea, the reality is we all need that someone. We all have the power to heal each other. The greatest and probably the most inexpensive gift we can offer each other is our time, trust and a listening ear. “It’s the small things that matter”.

If your friend is not feeling their best, take the initiative and listen to them. If they do open up, do not take that trust for granted; when you meet them again do not feel afraid to ask for a follow-up. That being said do not let their pain bring you down, anchor your emotions, but don’t just stop after the word “sorry”. Sorry is too small of a word. On good days, everyone will want to be a part of your life just because it is “convenient”. But during those dark days, those who stick around are your mates for life.

Now you would ask what the benefit of becoming someone’s so-called tissue is. On the selfish side (yes it ex-ists), we have a lot to learn from each others experiences, so that we do not make the same mistakes ourselves. It also gives us as individuals, a chance to reflect what we are blessed with while others are not so lucky. Deep down we all have an interesting thriller story, based on real life events. Who is the best narrator than the victims themselves? Consider it an hour with an interactive chapter from an audible book in return for your trust, empathy and time!

Written by

Wardah Ali

SUBMIT YOUR CREATIVE WRITING PIECE TO FEATURE IN THE RAM | 150 WORDS | COMMS@LUSA.ORG.NZ

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What have been the biggest challenges since you’ve joined? Or the most challenging callouts?

RATE YOUR MATE

RATE YOUR MATE OLLIE - THE VOLUNTEER FIRE BRIGADE "WE ACTUALLY HAD HUDSON FULL OF SMOKE AFTER SOMEONE OVER COOKED THEIR PIE...!" tell us about yourself: I am originally from Akaroa but moved to Lincoln about four years ago. I’m studying towards a degree in Environment and Society and grabbed a couple of those new majors on top as well; Water management and Parks and Outdoor Recreation.

What is it that has launched you into Rate A Mate fame?

Well I didn’t actually have any aspirations to be plastered in the RAM but a friend dobbed me in (shot Max)!

What inspired you to sign up to be a volunteer fire brigade?

I first joined up when I was still in Akaroa and at High School. It was sort of a tradition there to join the Brigade when you were old enough. Part of that was to get out of class whenever the siren sounded and the other reason was that the other kids before us had done the same thing, so it seemed natural to jump on board as well, especially after watching them leg it across the school fields towards the station and getting jealous of them roaring back up the road past us in the fire trucks.

Can you talk us through the process of becoming a qualified volunteer firefighter?

So, normally you have to live within 5 minutes of the station, be over 16, have a clean criminal record and I desire to help out. If all this is you, then a chat with the chef of the brigade is in order, after that you’ll come along for a few weeks on practice night to see how it all operates before any formal induction takes place. If you get in, there is some intensive training, which you’ll have to do before being allowed to respond on the trucks. This will be training on practice night and then completing both a two day first aid course and then a seven day recruit fire fighter course. After all that is done you can respond to the sound of the siren!

Medicals and motor vehicle crashes tend to prove quite a tough challenge at times. On our fire trucks here in Lincoln, we carry cutting gear and rescue equipment (the jaws of life), so, we are often sent to assist other brigades with crashes all over the district. Being surrounded by 100kmh roads, we unfortunately see far too many. Some can be serious and others are horrific. These tend to leave lasting effects on those emergency crews who attend. They're the sorts of incidents that put your small trivial stresses and grievances of your day to day life, into perspective.

How can people find out more about signing up to be a volunteer firefighter?

Easiest way is to come down to the station on a Wednesday Night at 7pm, and have a chat to the team and come see for how we operate for yourself. Or take a look at our Facebook page for updates on what we’re doing. @LincolnVolunteerFireBrigade By ollie rutland-sims

Any highlights/yarns/special experiences you’d like to share?

Last year we had a couple of pretty special moments when we attended some cardiac arrest callouts and were successful at getting a pulse again! On two separate occasions as well! So, those were some pretty surreal moments for us.

As well as the serious stuff we also get to see some pretty funny things on calls. Often getting a good laugh out of someone’s piss poor attempt at cooking things in the microwaves in the halls of residence on university campus!

Last year we found Hudson full of smoke after someone over cooked their pie… (Always blow on the pie)!

There are also humbling times. During the Port Hills blaze we found ourselves utterly blown away by the community response. Stopping by quickly at the petrol station in the truck we would find ourselves being stopped by all manner of people offering to buy coffees or food for us. We even had one 84 year old lady move like an Olympic athlete across the forecourt to us, handing over a box a freshly baked cheese and apples scones with butter and a knife included!

How many call outs have you been to roughly?

Too many! Here in Lincoln we respond on average to anywhere from 280 to 340 emergency calls each year. It’s hard to say just how many of those I have been on, but being both a student and living in Lincoln, it’s been a few.

Know someone who's a little known legend around these parts, but too noble to step forward & share their story?

Why don't you 'Rate your Mate' for their awesome achievements here!

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LOVE FOOD HATE WASTE

LOVE FOOD/HATE WASTE

86% of Kiwis believe wasting food is wrong.

FOOD WASTE IS A MAJOR ISSUE IN NZ

top 10 foods we throw out: 1.

Bread 15,174 Tonnes

5. Bananas

$12,933,883

9.

Lettuce 3,754 Tonnes $13,225,023

2. Leftovers

12,901 Tonnes $140,374,320

6. Potatoes

4,767 Tonnes $8,323,120

3. Oranges & Mandarins 6,302 Tonnes $20,516,361

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Poultry 4,083 Tonnes $50,279,800

4. Apples

5,117 Tonnes $14,818,152

8. Rice

4,076 Tonnes $2,675,883

10. Beef

3,208 Tonnes $45,825,926

Many people find their bread goes mouldy or stale because of our humid climate. The best place to store your bread is in the fridge or the freezer to stop it growing mould.

Nearly one-third of the food we waste is vegetables.

Vegetables often get chucked out because we don’t eat them while they are at their prime, and let’s face it, not many people find limp celery very appetising!

We know Kiwis like fish and chips, but it turns out our scoop of chips is too big with 2,755 tonnes of takeaway chips being thrown out each year.

Cake was another thing found in rubbish bins that we were surprised to see. Kiwis throw away 1,787 tonnes of cakes every year! WHY?!

WIN THIS!

Send us your worst flat nightmares... so others can learn from your mistakes!

And WIN this amazing book - Flatter's Survival Guide comms@lusa.org.nz

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IN THE KNOW:

PARTY LIKE A ROCK STAR joint facility cancelation

Growing up in this modern world we are constantly reminded about ‘fake news’ and to take what the media says with a grain of sand; and as students it is even more important to get a proper understanding and representation of the University than the one the media provides.

In the last month information, concerning the Joint Research Facility with AgResearch, has arisen and to the sheer disappointment of students, has been cancelled. Whilst I could make an entire article on why it should not be cancelled, and why it is fundamentally essential for the university as an advertising and educational beacon; I believe there is a need for far more clarity over the matter. The way that Stuff writes about throwing around the blame and at one point making it seem if it is entirely Lincoln University’s fault stating: “That money was still available if Lincoln could provide a complete business case detailing the project's price, main contractor and construction plan in accordance with Treasury guidelines.”

So, I simply ask, what is the true story?

Because I do not completely believe what has been stated, as I take away that it is the University’s fault; however, from what I found out from further digging around the University actually submitted complete business case after business case trying their upmost to get this approved.

Another question I propose is why Lincoln University has not made any statement, and why is it that many of the students do not know anything about this? This is an issue concerning the students on campus directly, with many students, especially science students, left lost and confused.

What is the future for the now dried up duck pond and when will us students know?

BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

FLAT PARTY OF THE MONTH! you've won a FLAT PARTY PACK

WHAT'S YOUR FLAT NAME? The Duck Inn FLATTIES ARE LIKE FAMILY. HOW MANY MEMBERS ARE IN YOUR FLAT FAM? WHO ARE THEY & WHAT ARE THEY STUDYING (IF ANYTHING)? There are four of us. Three to many if you ask me! Niamh is polishing off her Masters in Land and Society. I'm smashing out a degree in Environment and Society. Ciara is one of those UC students....enough said, and Dylan - Personal Trainer/ Drain Layer (he's going places).

WHAT'S 3 THINGS YOUR FLAT MUST HAVE AT YOUR FLAT PARTY? BESIDES FOOD AND NONALCOHOLIC DRINKS ;) Paua, lemon and cracked pepper. Can't go without!

AN EPIC MOMENT YOU & YOUR FLATTIES HAVE HAD: This one time we all woke up in the morning with heaps of missed calls and txts from Dylan.

It turned out that while we had all been napping, he managed to get pulled over by the Cops after trying to Lime home after hitting up town and scooting down the motorway...!

WHAT IS YOUR #1 TIP YOU'D GIVE TO ANOTHER FIRST TIME FLATTER HOSTING A FLAT PARTY? Hide that fancy bottle of liquor you have been saving...

WHAT'S YOUR FLATS MOST PRIZED POSSESSION? The bottle of Olive Oil. Never let that bad boy run empty otherwise you'll have the entire flats anger on your hands.

WHAT’S THE WORST SIN ANYONE’S COMMITTED? That one time someone had a dog and it dug up the whole garden, everyday...

WHAT'S THE BEST ROOM IN THE FLAT AND WHY? The kitchen, because it's where the food comes from.

WHAT'S THE GO TO HANGOVER CURE FOR THE FLAT? A bite of one of the home grown jalapenos... it'll make you forget all about that hangover...

WHAT'S THE LONGEST ANYONE HAS EVERY GONE WITHOUT WASHING THEIR SHEETS? Pretty sure Dylan's never changed his...

SUBMIT YOUR OPINION OR RESPONSE | COMMS@LUSA.ORG.NZ

SIGN UP at lusa.org.nz/flat-of-the-month 16

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O'WEEK 19 HOW GOOD...

LUSA’s O'Week was huge, well it was actually two weeks of absolute epicness. From the Pres partying on Forbes balcony to the Tramping & Climbing Club climbing a massive the tree. The sky really was the limit for LUSA. Like playing darts with spaghetti, LUSA finally agreed upon a 2 week line up for O'Week and kicked off the week with I Heart Toga. This was a night of smoke machines, visual effects that gave you epilepsy, inflatables and rain. That's right, the heavens above opened up on the outdoor gig, but Sweet Mix Kids and Times X Two kept the vibe going and made us all proud to be a Kiwi (or at least a poor student living in New Zealand) "God defend NZ!"

The sun was shining and everyone was out and about for Clubs and Markets Day on Forbes Lawn. LUSA had welcome bags with the must have wall planner and cool card holder that sticks to the back of your phone, so now I don't have to shove my ID down my bra and give it to the bar staff at the Grouse with my boob sweat on it anymore. Win, win!

Police, Fire, Cancer Society, Family Planning, Student Job Search, STA - they were all there to help us students out, it was great to see. I'll be needing the Rec Centre now after eating three Ben & Jerry's cookie slices!

bogan bingo...most people were gone like last weeks pay!

Bogan Bingo...well let me say most people were gone like last week’s pay before the bingo actually kicked off but it made for a hilarious night with no shame, guy on guy action, great heckling and a Bohemian Rhapsody dance off.

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More O'Week19 photos on Facebook

Ivey Dreams magical night time setting was incredible with Ivey Hall lit up, it almost brought a tear to my eye.

Needless to say I was happy as a pig in shit when Golden Features graced the stage with his dark, moody, mysterious beats and glistening gold mask. I danced my ass off and was sweating like Mike Tyson in a spelling bee.

Who knew that Planet O is a weekly thing? I'm stoked that I can now hit up Mrs O's for some wedges and a pint after a hot day of sitting in lectures. Getting a few under my belt before some live DJ's turn it up and I hit the D-Floor is a great way to celebrate 'Thirsty Thursday'. But the 1st Planet O was mean. That Chats were sick as f*#k, smashing out their hits 'Smoko' and 'Bus Money', but Damn how hot was the guy from Lime Cordiale!

Despite a couple of hiccups (notably the wait in Ivey Dreams drinks queue being longer than watching a season of Married at First Sight), it was a great couple of weeks getting to know each other, partying in the rain and of course gaining a shit tonne of freebies!

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Did you know that LUSA turns 100 years old this year and that's why O'Week was so massive? For those who saw the Pres at the end of the week would've known how hard they bloody worked. She was off to the pub for a cold one as fast as Usain Bolt on steroids being chased by a hungry lion! Good job LUSA. Looking forward to more gigs at Planet O, Winterball and of course what you're gonna pull out of the bag for Garden Party!

By a Frothing 1st Year

More O'Week19 photos on Facebook

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if someone is experiencing: Vomiting Blurred vision Extreme muscle cramps Anxiety Fainting

MDMA / ECSTACY

Seizures

then:

be safer with mdma by: Planning you use and comedown Using less and waiting an hour before deciding to take more Drinking water regularly and take breaks to cool down if dancing Avoid mixing with alcohol, medications and other drugs Using in safe environments Using drug checking services Bringing only what you will use

Stay with them

What is MDMA / Ecstasy?

MDMA is the active ingredient in ecstasy. It is a stimulant that speeds up body functions and changes the way you feel.

DURING USE IT CAN MAKE YOU FEEL...

Euphoric

Rapid heartbeat

Energetic

Hot / dehydrated

Closer to people

Grinding teeth

Enhanced sensation

Decreased appetite

did you know?

Anxious

Not using while pregnant

Find a safe,cool place to calm down Give them a sweet non-alcoholic drink Lie them on their side with open airways

look after yourself by: Taking a break to let your brain / body recover

Call 111

Uncoordinated

In New Zealand, there are likely to be additional and unknown chemicals in a pill/dose of ecstasy.

consider making changes if:

get support to make changes if:

Sick / vomiting Disorientation

Using and comedowns are affecting relationships, study or work

Paranioa

Unpleasant effects outweigh the pleasant effects

Blurry vision

Having low mood or anxiety Using MDMA weekly or more Spending more time / money on MDMA than you want Always thinking about MDMA

afterwards, signs of a comedown can be:

Low energy

Difficulty sleeping

Irritability

Low mood / anxiety

Difficulty concentrating

Sweaty

Upset stomach

This may last 1-4 days

seek professional help if you or someone you know is: Using more to get the same effect or feel 'normal' Finding it hard to stop Using MDMA to avoid a comedown Have suicidal thoughts

Others are concerned about your MDMA use

support & info: Alcohol Drug Helpline Txt 8681 Call 0800 787 797 drughelp.org.nz drugfoundation.org.nz optforwellbeing.org

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CLUB NOTICEBOARD

CLUB NOTICEBOARD

Lincoln's ecologial society Kia ora, and welcome to a brand-new year with the Lincoln Ecological Society!

LSD- LINCOLN SNOW DEPARTMENT

Our club aims to inspire and grow student interest in conserving the environment through building connections with the ecological community and providing skills necessary for qualified ecologists.

The Lincoln Snow Department (LSD) is a bunch of people who really enjoy skiing, snowboarding or anything else on snow.

Despite only starting up in August of last year, the 2018 executive team successfully managed to put together three planting days with Te Ara Kakariki, two ‘Options After Graduation’ evenings, a documentary screening, plus many meet-ups and fundraising events!

We hold LSD trips and parties in the mountains, and severely endorse all snow event ideas anyone can think of!

If LSD sounds appealing to you, head to our Facebook page and give us a join!

Clubs and Markets Day was a huge success, with lots of new members signing up. Welcome!

FACEBOOK @lincolnsnowdept

This semester we have an ‘Options After Graduation’ evening and a separate ‘Meet the Postgrads’ lunch, where current undergrad students can meet postgrad students to get an idea of future options and opportunities.

Also, coming up this year we have more documentary screenings, planting days and a camping trip planned.

It’s not too late to join. Just pop into LUSA with $5 for our membership fee and you're sorted!

SUBMIT YOUR CLUB TO FEATURE IN THE RAM | 150 WORDS | 1 PIC | COMMS@LUSA.ORG.NZ

With Smart Travel you can:

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•

Join a national network of ridesharers

•

Win great prizes for logging your trips/journeys

•

Use our planner to find all options for your

A brand new platform that connects you with likeminded people to share your commute, saving you time, money and reducing congestion.

•

journey including public transport, walking.

DOWNLOAD THE APP TODAY!

SUBMIT YOUR YARN TO FEATURE IN THE RAM | 150 WORDS | 2 PICS | COMMS@LUSA.ORG.NZ

YOUR YARN

BEAVERS BANTER

BEAVERS BANTER HERE FOR A DAM GOOD TIME!

YOUR YARN Easter, Daylight savings…did someone say winter???

Hey guys, Beaver here…

I am happy to report that about 30% of my mornings in the last 10 years have been spent hungover. Now this may mean that a few of my brain cells are no longer with us (rest in peace), but it has made me a true professional on the all-time ‘Hangover Cure’.

When you search google for the best ways to avoid waking up and with a mouth dryer than Ghandi’s sandal, it starts off with usual ‘limit your alcohol consumption’ and ‘avoid drinks with congeners’.

First of all… congeners sound like one of Thanos’ allies from Avengers: Infinity War, and unless you study science, I too, would avoid drinks containing a big hairy man inside of them. Secondly, you can’t choose to limit your alcohol consumption once it is already Sunday morning, Karen. Fucking amateur.

Which leads me to one of my best cures, tried and tested!

If Karen were to give some valuable advice, it would be drink loads of water and she would be right. Coat your throat with natures finest. And I mean water, Patricia, you had enough down your throat last night. But following on from Patricia’s Saturday night diet of meat, you are going to need at least 500 grams of bacon, to wrap in French toast. This we call “Beavers bacon roll”. Thank me later.

If this doesn’t float your goat, then on the winter menu of hangover cures, we have the ‘Beavers Milo Special’.

You start off by filling half the mug with milo, two teaspoons of sugar – because it’s already full of shit so why not? Then just enough boiling water to turn it to paste, finished with warm milk. It’s honestly that good that I’m almost lactating like a first-time mother with triplets just thinking about it.

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And lastly, my final method of hangover treatment. This slightly different as this time we won’t put anything in our mouths (sorry, Patricia) but we will get hands on (yay, Patricia).

Try hanging out with Ms. Palmer and her five sisters more than usual that day or go knock on Mr. Beans house. This will either give you more energy to actually get off (the couch) that day or set you of on a journey of dreams.

Now I understand that none of you have any idea who I am but let me tell you, all 10 of you lucky students reading this (who are also probably hungover), have now been blessed by beaver and have a choice of solutions when you feel like you have licked the bottom of a camels foot.

So remember, if you drink like a trooper and have work or uni the next day – use my motto: “A beaver solution will heal the hung evolution” Best, Beaver.

It’s March and that means that it’s soon to be April. When it’s April, it’s also my birthday. It’s fitting that this week my very well-versed and sensitive lecturer called me a ‘mature student’, then proceeded to offer me a chair, upon hearing my age. That’s the kind of top-notch treatment you can expect when you are a student at Lincoln University. Let it be said that his piss-taking tone was not lost on me.

I’m a returning student and have begun my Masters this year. I always thought it was a good plan but never put a plan in place to come back to university. That’s the trouble once you start earning the dough. I have a lot to say though, so doing my Masters is a good way of channelling all my energy and opinions into something worthwhile. It’s great to be back on campus after seven years away.

So, I hope you are settling in well and have figured out what time the scones are sold out at Mrs O’s, where the best place to buy a beer is, and importantly, how to login to the computers and even print stuff!

For me, I’ve been convinced to get involved in the Post-Grad Students’ Executive, which sounds like a bunch of fun. It’s awesome to get to know all the faces around Lincoln that I haven’t seen before and reconnect with people I know…but let’s be honest, that’s only the staff!

Here’s to a great rest of Term One and I know my lecturer will be hoping that I don’t start acting my age too soon, come April.

Have a good one, Lisa.

WAITING FOR YOUR ARTICLE 27

PESTER THE PREZ

Right'o, it’s time to address some of your questions and feedback that have arisen after O’Week, so let’s crack on!

Why could we only buy 1 drink at a time at Ivey Dreams?

That was a decision made by the police, licensing, catering, the University and the event organisers in order to control consumption since we have a responsibility to take care of you scallywags. But we are going to look into it due to the duration of queue time and then only being able to buy 1 drink so that things are better for ya next time around.

What was up with the freebies from the pharmacy in the O’Week bags?

The pharmacy in Lincoln kindly donated us a lot of free little testers to give away to you all, including sunscreen, highlighters, face creams and some vitamins. Nothing illegal in there for you to worry about!

How come Ivey Dreams was so expensive?

To be honest, it was a bloody reasonable price team! If you look at the calibre of the lineup that we secured for your enjoyment, $70 was the minimum price for us to charge in order for us to cover some of our costs.

Why wasn’t the dining room more full at Planet O? The dining room has a capacity that we must abide by in order to comply with health and safety rules in regards to fire exits and the like. There were over 500 of you there, and the capacity is not much more than that, so we wouldn’t have been pack the room out to the gunwhales – because we then would not have been compliant.

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And the pre workout/protein powder stuff?

Same situation, a business gave us those to offer to students. It was completely up to you guys on whether you chose to grab any and then consume it, you’re all adults! Some people like that sort of stuff, some people don’t, we are aware that it’s not for everyone. We will review everything we gave out in the O’Week bags this year so that we can improve next year’s.

SEND YOUR QUERIES/COMPLAINTS/QUESTIONS | PRESIDENT@LUSA.ORG.NZ

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JUST ANOTHER TUMERIC TREND?

MIND GAMES

PROCRASTINATION PUZZLES

CHARCOAL Last month’s issue bought you the beautiful trend in food that was rainbow unicorn. This month a new colour has arrived to darken your mood! Yes, pitch-black foods, drinks and beauty care, have stolen the spotlight.

Hamburgers, ice cream and even toothpaste, what gives these foods their deep dark hue?

Activated charcoal comes from the burning of coconut shells, wood or other plant material. This ‘coconut ash’ has been praised to bind toxic drugs and chemicals in the body due to its negative charge, pulling out toxins before the stomach can digest them. Hangover-curing, skin-clearing, teeth-whitening and edible. Who knew ice cream could be so good for you!

I do think part of the reason for its popularity, is the fact that it makes for some awesome attention-grabbing social media posts. Do we all remember the charcoal face peel gone wrong?!

The 'ALRIGHT' sudoku

The 'TRICKY' sudoku

But did you know that Doctors use activated charcoal to treat alcohol poisoning and drug overdoses, because it binds with the substance before your body absorbs it?! I've always thought this goth-like trend couldn't be healthy for you and in actual fact, it's not.

When you eat charcoal, it can also bind with stuff that you don't want to get rid of—like vitamins and minerals, and will also keep your body from fully absorbing any medications you've taken while eating charcoal-filled foods.

Naughty RIDDLEs

Not to mention, there are claims that it causes intestinal blockage.

The visual impact of an all-black dish, combined with its smoky, savoury flavour has been embraced by foodies, and has become big business in the health and beauty market, too.

But the idea of using charcoal in the quest for wellness appears to be a big burnout.

WHO FARTED?

1. You play with me at night before going to sleep.

You can’t get caught fiddling with me at work.

You only let a select few people touch me.

What am I?

2. What’s a four-letter word that ends in “k” and means the same as intercourse?

3. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s is really long.

Michael J. Fox’s is short. Daffy Duck’s isn’t human. Madonna doesn’t have one.

What am I?

4. What’s messy and can be really annoying and/ or tricky to clean up after sex?

SUBMIT A CRAZY TREND YOU'VE EXPERIENCED TO FEATURE IN THE RAM | 150 WORDS | 2 PICS | COMMS@LUSA.ORG.NZ

5. I am long and hard and most people will happily spend their wages on me. After having me most people feel a huge feeling of relief.

SECRET HINT: The culprit is wearing the colour red.

Answers:1. Your phone 2. Talk 3. A Surname 4. Feelings 5. An Education

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SNAPCHAT ROYALTY lusa .n

z

SEND IN !

YOUR SNAPS

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