Ghosting Sucks

GHOSTING

First and foremost, ghosting sucks, regardless of gender. We have probably all been ghosted at one time in our lives and all through various scenarios. One day your friends and the next it’s like you’ve never met! Things get a bit worse when you jump on the ole online dating apps too. You start chatting to a few ‘potentials’ online, resulting in your messages getting a ‘seen’ and then, all of a sudden, there’s no more conversation! Then there is the Netflix and chill and ghost. This happened to me over the holidays, and damn, it hurt. It felt a little bit like spray, and walk away. I’ll give you a bit of context: Tinder, match, cute, hot, athlete *Jake, long surfer hair and fit. Ticked all my boxes! We went on the classic Netflix and chill sort of date at his house in a fancy suburb. We had a bit of cuddle on the couch, and you can figure the rest out...the next day, (after a great intimate night with Jake, of course) I went to ask for his Snapchat, and I got back “I’ll message it to you later.” Later, I found I had been unmatched on Tinder! I was left feeling super anxious, sick, and confused! Later in the evening my best friend Luciana and I analyzed the situation as any girl would do. Concluding that there were no red flags before and/ or throughout the evening...and I’m telling you, this wahine wouldn’t let any guy use her! Jake did mention where he worked and I was so f*ked off, that a week after the dust had settled, I went into his work to ‘buy a product’, and there he was sitting at the counter! It was fair to say, he looked a bit concerned! I went for it...“Hey, Jake. Look. Ghosting isn’t cool. You think you are trying to help but not getting in contact with me and removing yourself from the situation but I felt used, and it’s just not cool!” I’ll give Jake the benefit of the doubt, as he did message me later that day saying ‘sorry for f*king me around’!

My favourite podcast started up again for another season a few weeks later. And guess who was a guest for the season? Yep, you guessed it, Jake. Got to love how small NZ is!

I highly recommend the podcast, Do you f*king mind. - by Alexis Fernandez. Here is an exert from episode 44:‘Ghosting is emotional abuse and toxic behaviour. The reason why people ghost is because they are people who can’t deal with their own emotions. They avoid being vulnerable because they can’t deal with conflict or confrontation. Don’t think that what they’ve done to you is something to be shameful about. You should, in fact, feel, pity for them. They feel sorry for them and don’t know how to treat people. This reflects on them, and you should never feel bad about their actions. You need to treat people with respect if you want to be respected; that is something these people do not do and do not know how to do.”

Clubs Market Day

On Monday 18th July we kicked off Semester 2 with Clubs Market Day. The sun was shining (which was the only day that week!) and there were smiles all around. There was an awesome turnout of Clubs, local businesses, and of course you students! We hope you joined a few Clubs and managed to grab a free sausage and some treats from LUSA!

A huge thanks to LUSA, for the Post Grad Cocktail Night, held at KONG on Thursday 21st July. It went off with a bang! It was a great way to meet other Post Grads, with fun games like speed dating/meeting, and a cool bingo game. New friends were made, plenty of laughs were had, and heaps of fun took place in front of the selfie camera with the most beautiful of backdrops! The cocktails were amazing, atmosphere on point, and plenty of banter. Looking forward to the next event and meeting more Post Grads!

Written by Tash Smith