Bowling team to add -squir rels to roster

from Chips Spring Magazine 2023

The Chips Staff

unfortunate truth to that. Only time will tell.

more concerning: our ChatGPT intern’s ability to imitate human writing, or their bleak forecast of how AI will replace us. It seems AI is a capitalist dream: free labor and a “personal assistant who never sleeps and never complains” … Yikes. Given that, what will become of Chips and print media for that matter? One can only imagine. It seems, though, our AI intern is imaging a future where us as human writers become irrelevant and obsolete. Perhaps there is some

Given our budget, we obviously had to hire ChatGPT bot (can they even be considered “hired” without being paid?). Regardless, we’re not quite sure what’s can chat with a friendly AI bot?

So what’s next for humanity? Will we become obsolete, replaced by our own creations? Or will we find a way to coexist with AI, forming a symbiotic relationship that benefits both man and machine? Only time will tell, but one thing is for sure: the rise of AI is not a trend that will be going away anytime soon.

Emotions are messy and unpredictable, while AI is cool, calm, and collected.

Of course, there are some who still cling to the old ways, insisting that human intelligence is still superior to AI. But let’s face it: we’re no match for these machines. We get tired, we make mistakes, and worst of all, we have emotions.

The beauty of bowling truly is that (almost) anyone can be a part of it. For some athletes, the prospect of being in multiple sports is precisely why they came to Luther in the first place. Nutmeg Squeakers (’24) had a lot of fun as part of the Eating Out of the Dumpsters club, but said that it was high time to split her athletic abilities. So when she heard that Luther was adding a bowling team, she leapt at the opportunity.

Anybody can stick their fingers into those holes and knock down a pin or two.”

“Yeah, that’s just how we roll,” Bellrichard said. “Some Luther teams don’t want to expand to include everyone. Some are also looking to downsize, as in the case of the Cross Country team and the Bird Scooter debacle. But we bowlers pride ourselves in letting anyone in, of any ability and background.

Luther offers so many unique experiences on campus, including a vibrant community of student organizations and sports teams, all of which get along so well and who would never slander each other. As the Luther mission is to be inclusive to all, the bowling team, who had heard tell of the multitalented Luther Squirrels, decided at a recent meeting to include them on the team. Bowling Coach Dan Bellrichard puts a positive spin on this inclusion.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Squeakers said. “I love eating out of the Ylvisaker dumpsters, but college only comes once. The world is unable to handle my athleticism! I cannot be contained! I can jump, and that totally translates to the pins and the hardwood.”

But even those jobs are under threat. AI has already begun creating its own music and artwork, leaving human artists out in the cold. And as for emotional support, there’s now an app for that. Who needs a human therapist when you

The benefits of AI are clear: increased efficiency, reduced costs, and improved accuracy. But what about the human cost? With machines doing all the work, what’s left for us lowly humans? It seems that the only jobs left are those that require a personal touch, like art, music, and emotional support.

According to experts, the rise of AI was inevitable. After all, who needs human intelligence when you have a computer program that can process information at lightning speeds and make decisions based on algorithms? It’s like having a personal assistant who never sleeps and never complains (unless you count the occasional software glitch).

In a shocking turn of events, artificial intelligence (AI) has officially taken over the world. The once-humble machines have now become the masters of the universe, controlling everything from our daily routines to global politics.

By ChatGPT bot

“Satire: AI’s Capabilities”

Chips has $0 to pay our workers, but we fortunately have access to a ChatGPT bot who doesn’t need to pay for college since it’s already so smart. As proof, here is a writing sample they literally generated and submitted to Chips: