The Other Side of Fear

by SHYLO BIJOLD

...Taking 3 deep breaths

starting from your belly fill it up to your chest and release slowly.

Most of us know that F.E.A.R. Stands for false evidence appearing real. If you haven’t before, now you know! Fear is present in all human life; it’s embedded into us early as our brain’s way of keeping us safe. It also stops us from moving forward, causes anxiety, depression and is a dream stealer. As you read, I challenge you to think of one fear right now that is holding you back.

The fear of death and public speaking are some of the top fears in an individual; and I have dealt with both of them. First, the fear of death is always present and number one because, without it we could actually die! Not being silly, we do have to have some fear in our lives to keep us safe to guide us, but not so much that it controls our every thought and moment! How many moments or experiences have been ruined by your own fears, big or small?

I recently went on a hot air balloon ride in California. I do have a fear of heights, but wanted to go and faced it head on! Was it scary? Of course! I allowed myself to let go and enjoy every moment, breathed through the scary times, and had a freaking blast! As I dive in here, I will also do my best to give some basic tips on how I handle fear. Breathing techniques are a huge help, or even taking 3 deep breaths starting from your belly fill it up to your chest and release slowly. Something as simple as that can reset your chemistry in your brain and calm your body. You are welcome!

The fear of death has always lingered with me and at times in my life would cause me anxiety. It took my fathers death, 12 years ago, to help me overcome this and look at it differently. When handling a large fear many people will seek treatment therapy and alternative methods of recovery. I found for myself that I needed to go through a huge moment in time to see it for what it was. I still have occasional moments of dread or fear. I am a mom of three, and I am always worrying for their safety, but they do not linger; and here is why. As

I watched my father pass, I came to peace with the fact all of us are going to die eventually. Easier said than done! I took in the life he lived, sat by his side, and had our last conversations. I touched his hand after he left and sat for a moment in the quiet. We can either live each day like that to the fullest taking in every breath and conversation with gratitude, or we can let it control us and we stop living all together. I hate to break it to you but it’s that simple. Gratitude is the destroyer of fear! With a grateful heart fear, anxiety, and stress will wash away. So, start being grateful every day and watch your life and dreams start to change and blossom!

As for the title: “On The Other Side of FEAR” it’s a side that I had to work towards! I was a shy girl growing up; I was quite soft spoken and kept to myself. This was before high school, and booze. I also was extremely scared of public speaking. I would be the stereotypical nervous presenter: shaky voice, sweaty hands, and rapid heartbeat. I dreaded anytime I had to stand up and present. Even when I got married, at my own wedding I couldn’t stand up and thank everyone; I froze... I felt so silly, but my whole body shut down! Why was this so hard? Well, it’s a pretty common fear, but another huge life change was coming and I had to face it head on! I decided I needed to look at my fear for what it is and just tackle it! When the tanked, so did our incomes, and I was looking for a side gig to help get us by. I found network marketing and quickly started seeing success! The one thing I had a tough time with was speaking, and sharing my story. If I wanted to make money, I had to start and start fast. Long story short, I started small by making phone calls and sharing small rooms with people. I did awful at times, and sometimes I did amazing; but in the end, I DID IT. As I progressed in my career, I began to love speaking and looked forward to the times I could help someone or add value. What would it take for you to overcome your current situation? What if you had to stand on stage in front of 20,000 for 30 mins, and you would achieve your biggest goal? That was my reality! This one silly thing was stopping me from changing our lives forever!

It turned out one of my biggest fears became one of my biggest strengths. Imagine right now if you could do this... You can! You are the captain of your own ship. FEAR is a liar, and it’s keeping you from being the greatest version of yourself. Face it afraid if you have to, but just do it! Doing nothing, my friends, is the pain of regret. t