education pull-out special
helping your children feel like they belong an important part of resilience By Jen Smith If you think back to the days when you were a child attending school, what comes to mind? Do you have positive memories, negative memories, or maybe a bit of both? Positive memories may include hanging out with friends, having a great teacher who believed in you, or enjoying a particular subject in school, like math or gym class. Negative memories may include experiences that made you feel lonely, isolated, sad, awkward, or scared. At the heart of these experiences, there was likely a need for a true sense of belonging. Belonging is experienced when you can be your most authentic self and feel connected to a group or community. According to an article written by Jennifer Wickham published by the Mayo Clinic, having a sense of belonging is so important because when you feel you have support and are not alone, you often cope more effectively with difficult times. If you can help increase a sense of belonging in your children, then you can strengthen their resilience to overcome challenges. Caregivers, parents, teachers, coaches, and other professionals who work with children all play an important role. Here are five things you can do to increase a sense of belonging in your children:
1. Encourage your children to look inside themselves for motivation. Teach your children to be proud of themselves rather than seek approval and praise from others. For example, say to a child: “You must be so proud of yourself. You worked so hard.” When a child focuses on their own efforts and progress, they build self-confidence. You will see your child light up when they feel proud of their own accomplishments. Recognize these moments and celebrate them. 2. Foster a growth mindset. Carol Dweck’s theory suggests there are two main mindsets: fixed and growth. Having a growth mindset is essential for success because you believe your skills can improve with effort, and setbacks are an opportunity for learning. If a child is using fixed mindset statements such as, “I’ll never be good enough to make the soccer team,” then respond with a growth mindset statement such as, “You may not be ready just yet, but with a little more practice and hard work, you will.” When you help a child use positive, growth-mindset language, over time they start believing in their unlimited potential. 3. Talk about things that have happened or could happen. Ask your child questions and have conversations with them as often as possible. Talking about things that have happened is an opportunity to validate their feelings
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