alternative education
help your tween or teen transition to a new school Older kids can struggle, too By Marlowe Gelmon, M.Sc., Behavioral Neuroscience Behavioral Therapist For kids of all ages, transitioning to a new school can be difficult. Whether it is your child’s first day of high school or you’re moving to a new school district, starting a new school can affect your child’s academic performance, social development, and mental state. But there are things you can do before and during your child’s switch to a new school to help them feel and become comfortable in an unfamiliar environment. Although moving to a new school might feel like a disaster to your tw/een, starting at a new school can be a positive experience for them. However, that does not mean they will not struggle to adjust. Switching peer groups, adjusting to a new academic schedule, and leaving behind old friends can be hard for adolescents. And it is not just about social expectations - a new school can also cause challenges in academic and extracurricular areas. While many tw/eens thrive in a fresh start, immediately jumping into activities and making friends, others will not immediately succeed. Your tw/een may feel lost for a bit, both academically and socially. Use these strategies to help your tw/een adjust: Keeping a positive attitude. The adjustment period begins before your tw/een steps foot into their new school. Most likely, they will have a dismal outlook from the start, so the responsibility rests on you to talk up the new city (if moving) and the new school. Point out new opportunities that will be available to them, whether it is a great theatre program or the opportunity to take advanced-level science courses. If you are not thrilled about the move either, it’s okay to share that you have concerns, too. Make it clear to your tw/een that you are going to choose to look on the bright side and show them that you’re determined to make the best of the situation. If you have confidence that you can make it in a new city or succeed at a new job, your tw/een will feel more confident about their ability to succeed in a new school, too. Listening to your tw/een’s concerns. Acknowledge that change can be hard. You need to validate their feelings by saying you know it will be hard for them to leave their current school and friends. Avoid minimizing your tw/een’s distress by saying things like, “oh, you’ll make new friends right away so don’t worry about it” or, “It’s not a big deal. I changed schools all the time when I was a kid.” Instead, say things to your tw/een like, “I know you love being in the band here and being in the band at your next school won’t be the same” or, “I understand you’re worried about being able to stay in touch with your band friends from home.” Your tw/een might not express their feelings with words, but you might see some changes in their behavior that indicate they’re stressed out about the move. They may lash out in anger, but that could be a cover for how they are really feeling. Keep asking them questions about their biggest concerns. Are they worried about new teachers? Do they doubt their ability to make the basketball team? It could be something small like using a locker for the first time if their previous school did not have them. Offer a balanced outlook by acknowledging the challenges of moving, but also recognizing that a new school may offer exciting new opportunities.
Talking about the reasons for moving. Be honest and upfront with your tw/een about why you’re moving. If you’re relocating for a better career opportunity, moving so you can be closer to family, or you need to find a new house because you can’t afford to stay where you are, talk about it with your tw/een. Discuss the values that went into your decision. Make sure they know you aren’t moving to make their life miserable, and they aren’t switching schools because you don’t care about their feelings. Explain that you do care about their feelings but ultimately, it’s up to you to make the best choice for the family. Even if they aren’t on board with the decision, you’re going to move. Show your tw/een that you have confidence that everyone in the family can adjust to the new circumstances and with hard work and a good attitude, you can all create a happy life in a new home or in a new city. Learning about the new school together. Often, anxiety stems from not knowing what to expect. If your tw/een can gain a clear understanding of what their new school is going to be like, they may have a more positive attitude about making the move. Conduct as much research as possible about the new school before they start attending. Get them involved in finding out about the size of the school, types of classes offered,
“Start the conversation early. Give your child as much time as you can to process the upcoming change. Ask your child what they’re nervous/ frightened about with this change.” and extracurriculars offered. Most schools have websites that offer a wealth of information. Talking to a guidance counsellor or coach ahead of time can also be helpful. Arrange for your tw/een to have a tour of the school. If possible, help them meet some students from the new school before their first day. Seeing a familiar face or two when they’re ‘the new kid’ can go a long way to helping them settle in. Encouraging a fresh start. If your tw/een attended the same elementary and middle school, their personality, activities, etc. are ingrained in the brains of their peers. Once you’ve been pegged as a cheerleader or the guy who is bad at math, it’s hard to break out of that rut when you’re surrounded by the peers who watched you grow up. Remind your tw/een that at the new school, no one has any preconceived notions of who they are. Therefore, if they want to change up their activities, style, or any Help your tween or teen transition to a new school – Continued on next page
Banbury Crossroads School EST. 1979
3 Reasons why students love being at Banbury
1. Self-directed and tutorial-style learning 2. Student-to-teacher ratio under 10:1 3. Collaporative, respectful and supportive
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SPRING 2022 • calgaryschild.com • 77
